Nate's Diary
by Nancy LeBrun
Summary: For those of you who read A Soul's Hope, this is Nate's story. WARNING! This story is told from the point of view of a guy and contains explicit sexual content as well as profanity and references to violence against women.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, here goes. The first chapter may seem very familiar, but the second chapter may surprise you….**

**Oh**

**Yeah, the second chapter will be posted on Sunday.**

NATE'S DIARY

THE CAVERNS

04/05/2002 - An amazing thing happened last night and it gives me hope for the human race. A few days ago Burns got a call from the local police chief. He said a seeker had gone missing in the Arizona desert while searching for a soul that she believed had been led to a pack of humans. They were looking for volunteers willing to go into the desert and search for what they assumed would be a body. It was dangerous and many felt it was a lost cause. We figured there might be humans out there so Burns volunteered and said he had a team ready to go. The team included Burns and myself as well as Evan, Tom, Kim, Rachel, Rob, and Blake.

We got more than we could have hoped for. We not only found an entire clan of humans in the desert, but they also had a soul with them - a very young and pretty female by the name Wanda. Her real name is Wanderer but everyone calls her Wanda.

It turns out these people do live in the desert. You would never know it, but there are caves in the desert. Not caves really, volcanic tubing, but inside it's much like a cave. The set up is wondrous. The guy who set this up is an absolute genius. His name is Jeb and he runs this whole place. He managed to create a bathroom using the underground river that flows very deep within the cavern. It must be some kind of volcanic spring. There are no septic tanks. The waste is just carried away in the torrent. This same river is used for bathing, but the current passes through the huge pool size tub before it flows through the room with the toilet. It's amazing.

Tomorrow, Jeb says he will show us the kitchen and the gardens. Gardens in the desert, who would have thought it possible? Sleep beckons me. I am excited for tomorrow.

A bunch of us were gathered in the main cavern where the big garden was located. Jeb had just finished giving me and Burns the full schematics of his vision to bring sunlight to the garden.

"Whoop, whoop, whoop! Yeah bro!" Kyle hollered.

"What the hell?"

Burns learned towards me. "It's that soul, Wanda. She's with Kyle's brother."

Wanda and the protective guy from yesterday approached our little group that had been deep in discussion about the wondrous workings of the gardens. Wanda approached another member of the clan named Lily.

"I'm so sorry I worried you."

"The 'someone's going to die' seriously freaked me out," she replied still looking leery.

"I know and I'm sorry. It was really meant to get Ian's attention to my frustration."

"It worked," the object of her affection blurted out. He had his arm around her shoulders. He dropped his arm and turned to Burns. "Hey. I'm sorry about the misunderstanding back there. I just get a little possessive when it comes to Wanda. I've done my time with the sharing thing." He glared at the couple Jared and Melanie and they both looked at the floor. I could only imagine what that was all about.

"So you lovebirds made up," Jeb interjected. "Never would have expected that!" he said stroking his beard.

"Actually, Jeb, you forced my hand." Kyle's brother said with a smile.

"I forced your hand?" Jeb replied.

He turned and got down on one knee. "Wanderer, you are the most beautiful and loving creature in my world and I can't live without you. Will you be my bride?"

_What? He's proposing? You've got to be kidding me. She's a soul!_

She started to cry as she said "Yes, Ian. I want that more than anything."

_Ian! That's his name! I can't believe this. I was hoping for a match for Burns. They would have been perfect. Damn! I mean she is seriously cute but marriage?_

Ian whispered 'I love you' and he kissed her. _This is just weird, watching a soul making out with a human. _

It seemed as though they had forgotten we were here. I was waiting for him to undress her. Jeb cleared his throat quite loudly. It did the trick. Wanda pulled away obviously embarrassed.

The youngster, Jamie stepped forward and threw his arms around the happy couple. "Cool! Can I be in the wedding?"

"Will there be a real wedding?" she asked her intended.

_Not if I can help it. You belong with your own kind. You belong with Burns._

"Of course. Anything you want, angel," he replied looking very satisfied.

Wanda turned back to Jamie. "Then of course you can be in the wedding. Just give me some time to think about this whole thing."

Kyle piped up. "There's never been a wedding since we came to the caverns. It should be quite a party."

Jeb regained control of the crowd. "Well. It's not going to happen today. I'm sure everyone has something to do. Tomorrow we'll be working on gettin' those mirrors clean; so everyone skedaddle!" The crowd dispersed.

Jared turned to Burns and I. "Are you hungry?"

"I could eat," I replied.

"Burns?" Wanda called out.

Burns stopped and turned. "Yeah?"

"We never got to finish our conversation and I was hoping…I was hoping that we could still finish it."

Burns looked off into the darkness. "Sure, sure," he answered.

"Do you mind if Ian tags along?" she asked. It seemed that he was determined to stay close to his pretty little bride.

"Sure. Where?"

Ian interjected. "Let's go to our room. It's private and there's plenty of light."

I decided if Ian could tag along then so could I. I followed the others to the room that Wanda and Ian claimed as their own. What was nice about these volcanic tubes was the fact that each couple had their own space. Each cubicle was small, but it was private and warm. There was a queen size mattress on the floor and a couple of shelves that held their clothing. Their belongings were meager. It seemed obvious to me that this clan lived with only the bare necessities. We sat on the floor at the foot of the mattress. I was facing Ian with Wanda on my left and Burns on my right.

"So, Burns you were about to tell me how you found Nate."

"Everyone already knows this story," I blurted out since Burns had told our story to Jeb and some of the others last night.

Burns shot me a warning glance. "Excuse my friend. He assumes too much."

Burns continued. "I was living alone in the house and some of the people in the town asked me what my calling was. I couldn't tell them I was a student and I didn't want to work in the town. I had to think of a calling that would make sense to them. I told them that my human father had killed the souls and the hosts of my mother and sister. I didn't tell them that he took his own life. Instead I told them that he disappeared and for that reason I had chosen to be a Seeker. They had sympathy for me and believed everything I told them. I was able to stay at my home in the mountains for weeks at a time without having to come back to town. They never asked me what I was doing up there. They just assumed I was on the road somewhere looking for humans."

I noticed Wanda slide her hand to the inside of Ian's thigh probably in an effort to reassure him. Ian was leaning forward, his arms folded tightly across his chest. He was such a Neanderthal. He reminded me of those big dumb jocks that I used tutor in college and then I'd hustle them at the pool table. _Asshole_.

Burns spoke again. "I was living my life in peace. I wasn't content, but I did appreciate the beauty of the land. It was months before I met Nate. I would often go on walks through the woods to explore all the plants and creatures that shared my mountain. Then one day I heard someone yelling. I really wasn't sure where it was coming from and it took me some time to track the sound. I found Nate in an old well that had grown over from years of disuse. He had fallen through and broken his leg. It was a pretty bad break. I told him to hold on and I raced back to the house to get some rope and a tarp. When I got back I could see that he knew I wasn't like him. I fashioned a seat with the rope and the tarp so I could pull him up. I threw down my creation and told him to sit in it. He refused."

I needed to defend my actions. "You gotta understand. I had ten other people I had to think about. I couldn't risk them being found. I was weak, but I wasn't crazy."

Ian shook his head in agreement.

Burns pressed on. "I knew the only way I was going to get him out of that hole was to do it myself and he was not going to come willingly. I tied the rope around a tree and found a sturdy tree limb that had fallen to the forest floor. It was a struggle, but eventually I managed to push it to the edge of the hole. When I pushed it in, it laid at an angle giving me a better footing when I pulled us both out."

Ian shook his head again. "It's a good thing you're such a big guy."

"You're telling me. Dragging my unconscious body couldn't have been easy," I pointed out.

"Unconscious?" Wanda seemed disturbed by my remark.

Burns responded. "Well, yeah. He fought me as soon as my feet touched the ground and so I had to resort to knocking him out. I just kept telling myself that I was saving his life. I hit him in the back of the head with a tree branch and he dropped like a rock."

I nodded in agreement. "When I woke up I was in his bed which he had moved to the root cellar and he was nowhere to be found. I knew I couldn't run. The door was locked anyway. I was trapped like a rat. I was waiting for the enemy to return with an army of parasites ready to change me into one of them. There wasn't even anything in the room to kill myself with. Burns was good. He had thought of everything."

Burns smiled at me. "Lucky for you!"

I put my hand on Burns's shoulder. "Lucky for me."

"Where did you go?" Wanda asked Burns.

"I knew that Nate was hurt badly and in a lot of pain. I went into town to the hospital and told them that I was headed out on a dangerous mission in the mountains and that I needed supplies in case I was hurt and unable to return to be treated. The healer was most helpful. He gave me an assortment of hospital supplies."

"Let me guess. He gave you 'No Pain, Clean, Heal, and Deep Clean.'"

"Exactly. He gave me "Smooth" as well. I came back to the house and Nate had positioned himself behind the door in an attempt to escape. He knocked me to the floor, but he didn't get far."

"I didn't even make it up the steps of the root cellar," I said dismally.

"Well, you were in a ton of pain and you hadn't eaten in two days," Burns replied in my defense. "Anyway, I dragged him back to the room and I tried to reason with him. I told him I had no weapons and that I had no intentions on turning him in. I told him that I could heal his injuries and that he needed to trust me. I told him that a soul had to be inserted surgically and I would do nothing that would require a scalpel. I offered him the 'No Pain' and at first he refused. I explained that even if what I was giving him killed him, whoever he was trying to protect would be safe. He finally took the 'No Pain'."

My first experience with 'no pain' was a wonderful experience. "It was awesome! If my leg had not been so mangled that it would not hold me up I would have run out of there at that moment."

Burns looked at me in surprise. "And I thought you trusted me." He shook his head.

"What?" I grinned and shrugged.

Burns continued. "I used the 'Clean, Heal, Deep Clean, and Smooth' to repair his leg. When I was done I held the door open and invited him to leave, but he didn't go."

"I was afraid that if I went I would be leading a pack of them right to my family. So, I stayed. I figured I would wait until the right opportunity presented itself. I considered killing Burns, but for all I knew there were Seekers hiding in wait. I couldn't take that chance. I could kill myself now that I was healed, but I didn't want to die especially if there was a chance this guy over here was telling the truth," I explained.

"He stayed with me for weeks. We even went for walks together."

Wanda giggled. "Aw, how romantic!" she teased.

_God, she's adorable_. I shoved Burns in the shoulder. "No way!" I bellowed. I decided to pick up the story where Burns had left off. "Burns never asked me about who I might be protecting. He just seemed to be enjoying my company. I knew my family had probably assumed the worst. One night I decided to take a chance. I left in the middle of the night and wandered off into the woods. I didn't go in the direction of my family. I stayed in the woods for two days watching, waiting, for any sign of a Seeker. Finally, I went to a place where I knew my family would see me. I let them see that I had no scar on my neck and I went to them using what we call the emergency back door. I told them what had happened. We hunkered down for two weeks watching for Seekers. They never came and we were in desperate need of supplies. I decided to go back to Burns. I'm not sure why exactly. I can't explain it other than he saved me from dying in that hole and then he healed my broken body. As I approached the house the shades were down and the word "NO" was written on them. There was an unfamiliar car in front of the house. I waited in the shadows of the forest. Eventually, two people, a man and a woman exited the house and got into the car and drove off. When they left, Burns put the shades up and came out onto the front porch and sat in a chair and began to read."

"He warned you." Ian said unfolding his arms. He pulled Wanda's hand from his thigh and held it between his two hands. "How did you know this wasn't a ploy to gain your trust?"

"Ian!" Wanda squealed. The sound of her voice was so sweet; it made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

"Exactly! At what point did you put your trust in Wanda?"

Ian thought about this for a minute. "I don't know if there was a precise moment. It started for me when she put herself between Kyle and Jared."

Wait a minute. "Isn't that when you tried to strangle her?" I snapped.

Ian closed his eyes and pulled her hand to his face and whispered, "Yes." And then he added, "I'm so sorry my darling angel."

She grabbed his chin with her free hand and stared at his eyes. "Hey, we're all here happy and healthy. I don't want to dwell on the negative only the positive. Okay?" she goaded. He still didn't open his eyes. "Okay?" she repeated.

He finally opened his eyes and whispered, "okay."

Wanda leaned into his chest and she didn't let go of his hand. "So, Nate, you made a decision to trust Burns?"

_Jesus, how friggin' needy is this guy? _

"I did. I brought him to our hideout and a friendship was born."

"Wow. It seems we both have fascinating stories," she surmised. "Burns can I ask you a personal question?"

Burns creased his eyebrow. "Sure, hasn't everything we've said here been personal?"

"This is different. It's not about the past. It's about the present. About your emotions. It's about Sunny." Ian straightened up finally giving her some freedom.

"I noticed that you seem to be very...aware of Sunny's presence whenever you are in the same room together. Do you have a thing for her?"

"Wanda, you are very observant." He smiled sheepishly.

I was shocked. I had no idea that Burns had been crushing on Sunny, and here I was trying to devise a way to set him up with Wanda. Boy, was I ever wrong.

"Well it kept me alive for many months," Wanda explained.

"Can you tell me; what is the status of the relationship between Sunny and Kyle?" Burns asked.

Wanda looked at Ian for an answer. Ian looked up surprised. "Why do you ask me?"

"You _are _his brother," she reminded him.

"Hell, I don't know. Kyle is nothing like me. I fell in love with Wanda for who she is inside. Sunny walks around in Jodie's body. I don't honestly know _what_ he's thinking." He paused. "Plus Sunny is _always _with him. When would I ever get the chance to even ask him?"

"Maybe I can help. Tomorrow I'll see if she would like to bathe when I do. I'll tell her I want to spend some 'girl time' with her. That will give you the time to talk to Kyle. Don't tell him Burns is interested though. Just feel him out. Ask him if another guy was interested in her if he would take it personally. You know … see if he holds any jealousy."

"I hate doing that crap. Can't someone else be your patsy?" Ian muttered.

"Absolutely not. First of all, you are his brother and he will be honest with you. Second of all, you can relate. After all aren't you engaged to a 'soul'? And third …"

"Okay, okay. I guess I can take one for the team."

_He caved. Wimp._

"Thank you." She gave him a peck on the cheek.

"So …" Ian spoke. "Anyone up for a game of soccer?"

"Not in this body!" Wanda moaned.

_Huh. If you don't want to play the game, I'll be happy to play with you._

"Come on, give it a try. If you really suck, you can be my cheerleader," Ian teased.

"Thanks a bunch," she said sarcastically.

The four of us got up and ventured off towards the game room. We found several people in there lounging and talking.

It was time to take control of this shindig. "Warning! We are here to take over the game room. Join us or move to the stands," I announced.

"What's your game?" Rachel asked. Rachel was one of my people. She was hanging with Rob and Blake who were also from my clan. Rachel and Rob were a couple, but I had managed to charm her into my bed. She cheated on him and she probably would have left him had I asked her to. I don't want a relationship. Not in this world. She never told Rob about her affair and neither did I. It was nice while it lasted. Blake was Rachel's younger brother and he stayed close to her when we were away from home. Safety in numbers. That's what I stressed to each of them when traveling. The group they had been talking to bowed out of the competition. We asked them to let the others know of the game if they ran into them.

"Okay," I announced again. "The game is soccer and I call captain."

Ian spoke up. "Captain." He paused a moment before he added, "We need to choose teams. Who chooses first?"

"Nate is a guest in our house so he should have the first pick," Wanda suggested. Ian glared at her and again he wimped out and caved into her demands. _What a pussy._

Of course I picked Burns first. That was a no-brainer. As if on cue Ian's brother, Kyle entered the room.

"Do I smell a game of soccer?" Kyle bellowed as he joined the group.

Ian grinned from ear to ear. "Hell, yeah! It's my turn to pick. Get over here, Bro!"

I got the sinking feeling that I had just been played. I chose Rob next. Then Ian chose Blake. The boys were all chosen and that left Rachel, Sunny, and Wanda. I chose Rachel. I knew how athletic that body was. Wanda and Sunny although both beautiful were not athletes from I could tell.

"Have either one of you ever played before?" Ian asked.

Wanda scowled at him. "You know I know _how _to play. I just don't know well this body will play for me."

Sunny piped up. "I'm good. I'll watch. You play Wanda."

Ian dragged her onto the playing field. "I guess you're with me, Babe. Try not to trip up Kyle. Okay?"

_What a dick. Way to make your fiancée feel special, dude! _

Ian faded back to the goalie position. Kyle came forward to the point position. Blake and Wanda took the two flank positions and the game was on. I pulled Rachel aside and instructed her to get in Kyle's way as much as possible. Burns took a shot at the goal but Ian caught it and threw it to Wanda. Blake moved forward on the opposite side of the goal so I had to play both sides of the goal. Wanda charged me and all I could think about how much I wanted to bend her over and pound it home. _Damn she is fucking hot!_ Blake smashed it in for the first point. _Shit! Get your head out from between her legs._

In the end we lost. I blame myself because that little tart just kept my mind in the gutter. I needed to get laid and soon.

I admitted it was a good game, but I blamed the loss on the home turf advantage.

Ian teased back. "I'll play you on your turf anytime." That was when I invited all of them to come to the mountain and meet my family. Maybe if I could get them on my turf I could convince Wanda to show me how good a soul is in the sack.

Kyle responded for the group. "You need to talk to Jeb and Jared. They are considered the leaders of this clan and they would be the ones to make a decision like this."

"I'm hungry." Sunny had managed to find her voice. Burns quickly made the most out of the opportunity. He approached her and offered to escort her to the kitchen. Kyle didn't seem to care. Maybe Burns would get his soul after all.

Sunny called out for Kyle.

Kyle nodded in Sunny's direction. "In a minute," he called back to her.

"Come on. You can come with me and Ian and Burns. Kyle will catch up to us later. You need to gain a little independence," Wanda said brazenly. "Sunny will be in the kitchen," she called out as they disappeared in the tunnel.

I decided I should take Kyle's advice and make my offer to visit the mountain to Jeb and Jared.


	2. Chapter 2

**So, I'm feverishly writing this story in an effort to honor my commitment to give you 2 chapters per week. I hope to hear from you. Encouragement is always the best form of support and without your support, I would have no reason to write this.**

STRANGE ATTRACTION

04/06/2002 - So today I learned all about what it takes to create a green house in the middle of a cavern in the desert. Jeb should be a teacher. He says he never went to high school but, the technological knowledge he has is just incredible. I would love to just spend a day picking his brain.

I decided to invite these people to see how our clan lives. Jeb held a meeting and gave everyone a chance to volunteer for the trip, but he is only allowing six to go. I had a hand in the choosing. I chose Jared because he is practical and a leader. He will be accompanied by his girlfriend, Melanie, who just so happens to be the same girl who was the original host to the soul, Wanderer, that now inhabits the gorgeous body that unfortunately belongs to Ian. Every time I look at her I find it difficult to look away. She has the face of an angel and she reminds me of a porcelain doll. She is so delicate and tiny, but not like a child. Her body is proportioned perfectly from her shapely legs to her tiny waist and the curve of her breast in the halter dress she wore today…I can't stop thinking about her. It's making me crazy. She's coming to the mountain too. I requested her and she seemed eager for the adventure. Unfortunately she is bringing her fiancé with her who really didn't want to go, but he wouldn't let her go alone. The last two to join us will be Lily, a close friend to Wanda, and Brandt who is a single guy that seems kind of quiet most of the time. I would have liked to have the other soul, Sunny join us, but Jeb said she is unproven and therefore he would not allow her to leave the caverns for fear she could escape and turn us all in to the authorities. Burns seems to have a thing for her.

We leave tomorrow night after sundown.

I slept late so I missed the usual crush of the morning bathroom line. Most of the people who lived here had already finished their morning ritual. I was sitting in the crowded kitchen eating my breakfast when I spotted a pretty young thing that had caught my eye on the first night I was here. She was looking for a place to sit when she looked in my direction. I tapped my hand on the stone slab I was sitting on. "I have plenty of room here if you want to share," I said with a smile.

"Thanks. Most of the time, it's really hard finding a seat here in the morning. I usually just sleep in, but I knew they were making something special for breakfast since you guys were here. You know Maggie and Sharon are all about impressing the newcomers." She finally stopped talking and took a bite of her food.

I took the opening to introduce myself. "My name is Nate."

"I'm Lacey. You know I'm like Melanie. I had a soul implanted in me, too, but she wasn't a nice soul like Wanda. She was a seeker and she killed Wes. He used to be Lily's boyfriend. She shot Brandt too."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, you want to see my scar?"

"Sure."

She was so much prettier when she wasn't talking. She leaned forward and I lifted her curly locks to expose her neck and there was indeed a faded pink scar at the base of her skull. I ran my finger gently over the scar and she shuddered.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes, that felt good."

Hmmm. I decided to see how far I could take this. "You have a beautiful neck." I said softly. I gently massaged her shoulders.

"That feels good too."

"I enjoy making a woman feel good."

"Why Nate, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were flirting."

"I'm sure lots of men flirt with you."

"I haven't had a man in a long time."

_Well if that wasn't a come on, then I'm an idiot. _I spoke low. "That's too bad. If I didn't have to go home, I might have to pursue this thing."

She finally didn't have anything to say. I continued to massage her neck and shoulders for another minute. I was debating on whether I should continue with this. I was getting myself worked up. The bathing room was private. At least I could pleasure myself without being disturbed.

"Lacey, do you think you could show me to the bathroom?"

She sprang from her seat. "Perfect." She grabbed my hand and towed me through the dark tunnels to the bathing room. As soon as we entered the pitch black room she was on me. You'd think she was starving. _Oh, what the hell. I need this as much as she does._

I needed to make one thing perfectly clear. "Lacey, you know this is a one time thing. I don't do relationships."

"Shut up and fuck me."

_Damn! Maybe she needs this more than I do._

She reached down and opened my belt. I reciprocated by sliding my hands up under her shirt. She had large breasts for a girl of her stature. I wanted to suck on them so I lifted her shirt over her head. We kissed, but it wasn't romantic. It was more like filler in between the groping. As she pulled my pants down I remembered the condom in my wallet.

"Wait."

"What now?" she said impatiently.

_Damn she's pushy_.

"The condom is in my wallet."

"Oh."

Luckily, putting on a condom was something I was used to doing in the dark. I quickly pulled it from its packet and rolled it gently over my erection.

"Lie down," I instructed.

She pulled her shorts off and lay at my feet. I felt for her in the darkness and positioned myself over the top of her. I suckled her breast and used my free hand to part her legs and I gently teased her. She reacted immediately and squirmed with delight at my touch.

"Nate, I…"

I cut her off. "Shhhh. Don't talk." In my mind I wasn't on top of the chatterbox, Lacey. In my mind I was fingering the beautiful porcelain doll that Ian had proposed to. I pictured the tiny features of her face in the pitch blackness of the bathing room. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I parted the folds of her sweet flower and pushed my way into her. I took a ragged breath and pushed deeper. It had been a while since this girl had sex and her body was tight.

_That's it Wanda, you like that, don't you?_ I wondered if the creature inside Wanda's body enjoyed sex as much as I was enjoying the idea of having sex with her. I was careful not to speak because if I did I might slip up and call out Wanda's name. I tried to hold out as long as I could because I wanted to satisfy her. She was breathing erratically now and she finally cried out. "Oh shit. Don't stop."

I bit down on my lip and pounded her until she tightened her grip on my biceps and moaned deeply. That's all I needed to hear. I exploded immediately and my entire body spasmed. I collapsed on her chest and lay there trying to regain my strength and my composure.

"Thanks, I needed that," she said quietly.

I chuckled. "Glad I could be of assistance."

"If you ever come back, I'd be happy to give it another whirl."

"We'll see," I replied trying to remain as noncommittal as I could.

"I need to get back to the kitchen. I have dish duty today," she said flatly. I rolled off of her and searched around the floor for clothes. "Are you coming with?" she asked.

"Um. I think I'm going to take a bath."

"Oh, okay." I could hear her sliding her shorts on.

"Lacey?"

"Yes?"

"This is between you and me, okay?"

"Sure. I don't want people thinking I'm a whore."

"You're not a whore," I reassured her.

"Thanks." She got up and left the room without another word.

"Wow," I said out loud to myself. "I certainly wasn't expecting that." I scooted over to the tub and lowered myself over the edge. It felt cool and refreshing. I took a deep breath and blew it out. I floated motionless in the pool for several minutes in the black room. It was almost as if I was in a dream. Again the vision of the quirky soul invaded my head. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

I couldn't take it anymore. I climbed out of the tub and dressed. Minutes later I was in the tunnels searching for Burns and avoiding the kitchen.

Burns and I met the others in the main cavern at seven thirty. We would leave when the sun went down. Everyone was abuzz with excitement. Ian arrived without his delicate flower on his arm which was very unusual. When he joined the group we quickly found out why.

He approached Jared who was also standing alone without Melanie at his side.

"Wanda's pissed. I don't know what to do," Ian lamented to Jared.

"Yeah, she was here about ten minutes ago and she dragged Melanie away. She said something about retrieving laundry, but she looked upset. What the hell happened?"

"She wanted to know about my past. She started asking questions. I couldn't lie to her."

Lily piped up. "You told her about us?"

My head snapped in her direction. _Whoa! Ian is sleeping with Lily? Oh this is getting good._

"Yes, and I told her about Heidi and Lydia too."

Jared again took control of the conversation. "Jesus, Ian. You don't propose to a girl and then tell her about your past conquests."

"I wouldn't have said anything at all if I didn't think she might find out somewhere down the line. The worst part is she flipped out and I said they put her in the body of a child."

_Fool. This is why I keep my sex life private. It's no one's business but my own._

"You are really battin' a thousand bro." Kyle patted him on the shoulder.

Lily tried to comfort him. "Well, Mel is with her. Hopefully she can talk some sense into her. Just give her a little time to digest it."

"They're coming back," Kyle warned the group.

Melanie's brother Jamie stepped out of the group and rushed over to Wanda and gave her a heartfelt hug and he said something to her in private.

"Let's get a move on," Jared announced.

Those that were staying behind hugged each of their parting family members and offered words of encouragement. I saw Lacey standing on the other side of the gardens near the entrance to one of the tunnels. She gave me a half hearted wave. I smiled at her and waved back as I grabbed my bag and headed to the entrance with the group.

As we hit the desert, I noticed immediately that Ian and Wanda were still keeping their distance. I thought this might be a good time to have a little conversation with her. You know, play the role of the 'concerned' friend. I caught up to her quickly. She wasn't running very fast and she looked like she was laboring already and we hadn't gone very far.

"If you feel like you're too tired to run; let me know and I'll carry you," I offered.

Ian was behind us and had heard my offer. He sped up and flanked me. "If she gets tired, _I'll_ carry her," Ian said in an effort to stake his claim.

I threw my hands up in the air. "Fine! I was just trying to help," I said defensively. I picked up the pace leaving the two of them behind.

A few minutes later, Jared and Melanie flew past me. It was obvious that they were comfortable with being in front.

"Nate. Wait up." It was Wanda.

I slowed my pace and let her catch up. "You okay?" I tried to keep my voice low since Ian was still following close behind us.

"I guess that depends on what you mean by okay," she replied in a jagged voice. She was having trouble catching her breath. "Can we walk a few minutes, please?" She clutched her side and bent over. She was taking deep breaths.

I stopped to wait for her and Ian did too.

"Let me carry you," Ian offered as he reached out and laid his hand on her back.

"No, Ian. I don't _want _you to carry me."

"Damn it, Wanda. Why do you have to be so friggin' obstinate?" His anger had finally surfaced.

I stepped between them. "Hey now! We can walk it, okay? Nobody has to carry anyone. Chill! All right?"

Ian and Wanda both looked at each other with equal amounts of venom. Wanda started walking and I stayed in step with her. Ian started to jog ahead of us.

"You okay?" This time I really _was_ concerned.

"Yeah, I just needed to catch my breath."

"Let me know if you can run again or if you want _me _to carry you." I smiled at her to ease the tension.

"I can run now." She smiled back. "Nate, would you do me a favor?"

_Favors. Now we're talking. The best way to get on someone's good side is to grant them a favor. _I poured on the charm. "Sure, anything for a pretty lady."

"When we get to the vehicles, can I ride with you?"

"I take it you don't want to ride with Ian." It was a statement, not a question.

"No. I can't be around him right now."

"Sure, no problem. You want me to see how far I can push his buttons?" I grinned evilly at the thought of torturing the Neanderthal.

"No. That won't be necessary."

We ran the rest of the way in silence until we got to the first garage. We would drive the jeep the few miles it would take to get to the underground 'garage' where there were other vehicles to choose from. There were fourteen of us altogether so we went in groups of six, five, and five with Jared being the chauffeur. Wanda was a passenger in the first trip leaving Ian behind. Ian and I both took the second trip. It seemed neither of us wanted her to be alone with the other. I knew if he had the chance to be alone with her he might repair the rift and I had a plan formulating in my head.

When we got to the other vehicles, we needed to get to Burns's truck which was just on the other side of the wash. We crammed all fourteen of us into the van. Burns drove us to the wash since he knew where the truck was. I sat in the back of the van nearest to the door. Wanda was sitting in front of Ian and he pulled her towards him. She deliberately pulled away. Her eyes met mine briefly and she looked like she was in agony. I heard him let out a frustrated growl.

We pulled up to the wash and I pushed the back doors open. I was about to implement my plan. I was the first one out and I announced, "Wanda, you are with me. Burns is driving this vehicle and we need you to be in the other vehicle to troubleshoot any problems we might run into." I shot Ian a serious look. "You understand, right Ian? She'll be fine. I promise." I had to suppress my smile.

Instinctively, Ian wrapped his hands around her waist.

"They need me," Wanda explained.

He whispered something to her and then released her. She quickly climbed out of the van.

I helped her into the passenger seat as the others climbed into the back of the truck. For the first half hour, I was quiet. I was trying to decide how I would approach this conversation I wanted to have with her. I felt that if I pushed her to dump him, I might have the opposite effect. I decided if I sympathized with Ian she wouldn't realize that I had a hidden agenda.

Finally, I broke the silence. "So, how long are you going to make him suffer?"

"What do you mean?" She seemed a bit put off by the question.

"He's hurting you know."

"So am I."

_That's good, she's on the defense._

I drove a few minutes to let her mull it over. "It's hard for some guys," I said out of the blue knowing she would demand an explanation.

"What's hard for some guys?" _Bingo._

"The sex thing. Some guys are more high-strung and need it more than others."

She turned and her eyes burned into mine. "Are you defending him?"

"No. No. I'm just saying."

She didn't respond. I could only assume that she was trying wipe out the thought of Ian being with the women in the caverns from her mind. She closed her eyes. We were approaching the town that Burns and I agreed to stop at to buy food before it got too late.

"Hey! Don't fall asleep on me now. We will be stopping at the next town so you and Burns can buy some food. I'm sure some of us are hungry now and in the morning when we camp, we'll need to eat."

She sat up straight and opened her eyes. I could see that she was trying to focus on the road. She had obviously nodded off. It was a good time to go on a fact finding mission. "So, Doc tells me that he took you out of Melanie's body and then put you into this body."

"Yes."

I looked over at her and smiled. "I approve of the change." I paused hoping for a witty response. She didn't answer so I continued. I was curious about her as a soul beyond the porcelain doll body. "Doc said that Ian actually held you in his hands. He wasn't creeped out by that?"

"No," she said curtly.

"I've never seen a soul in its true form before." I paused and than added, "What did Ian say to you about it?" I thought she would answer, but she seemed to drift off into a daze. "Wanda?" I was leaning forward in an effort to make eye contact.

"I'm sorry. What was the question?"

"Ian's reaction to seeing you in your natural form?"

"Right, no. He wasn't freaked out. He thought I was…beautiful."

"Huh…" My interest was peaked. I wanted to see her, too.

She pulled the bag up from the floor and started rummaging through it.

"Looking for something?" I asked.

"No Pain." she answered.

"Not feeling well?"

"Headache," she responded.

I immediately thought of Ian and the frustration he must have felt being stuck in the other vehicle. "I bet you aren't the only one with a headache."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She seemed irritated.

I looked straight ahead and shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing. I'm just saying."

We pulled up to the Super K at nine o'clock. There weren't many cars in the parking lot. I pulled the truck into a space away from the other cars and cut the engine.

"Okay, pretty lady. Go do what women do best."

I watched Wanda in the side view mirror. She opened the door to the van and obviously had some sort of conversation with Ian. It lasted only a few minutes and then she closed the door. She and Burns entered the store. I settled into my seat to wait. I decided it was a good time to call Carl, who I had left in charge at the mountain. We left Burns's cell phone with him. I told him all about our adventures and the fact that we were headed home with six visitors when all of a sudden I heard what sounded like a party in the parking lot. The raucous was coming from Wanda and Burns who had returned and were laughing and joking loudly. I wondered if she and Burns were getting along a little too well. I admit in the beginning I thought Wanda would make a good mate for Burns, but now I was so drawn to her. I was aggravated. I hung up with Carl, folded my arms tightly over my chest and closed my eyes so I could listen to the happy chatter between them.

I opened my eyes and glared at Wanda when she opened the door and climbed in.

"I didn't wake you did I?"

"Wake me? No. It was those people in the parking lot making all that racket!"

"Sorry," she said quietly.

"Nothing like bringing attention to yourself with two vehicles loaded with humans in your midst," I scolded.

"I _said _I was sorry!" She sounded like a kid apologizing for staying out late. "What is up with you anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, first you are Mr. Nice Guy and then you are championing Ian and now you are like my Dad."

"That's a good question." I didn't have an answer. I started the truck and pulled out of the parking space still staring at her trying to figure her out. It sounded to me like she was flirting with Burns. I turned my attention to the road.

_If she's in love, then why is she flirting? Should I have flirted instead of trying the friend approach? _"Tell me something."

"What?"

"Do you _love_ Ian?"

"I did. I mean I do," she stammered.

"Really? You don't sound convinced."

"Why are you doing this? Are you his spy?"

I tightened my hands on the steering wheel. I was deliberating on exactly what to say. I sighed. I tapped my finger on my lips. I had to change my strategy. I would tell her the truth. "Wanda, you are one of a kind. You know that? You have the face of an angel, the heart of a lion, and the body of a goddess." I paused then continued. "Any man would probably walk through fire for you, myself included. You want to know something?"

"What?"

"I have known Burns for four years and I have never seen him laugh like I did tonight. I can understand how Ian can be a complete mess when it comes to you. It's like you grab people and you put them under your spell, especially the men. It's no wonder you were able to stay alive." There I said it. I only hope it worked.

"I…I don't know what to say," she seemed flustered.

I reached out and squeezed her hand. "You don't have to say anything."

Silence ensued. Wanda slumped against the door and fell asleep. For the first time I actually felt sorry for the Neanderthal. She had this crazy power at least it seemed over me and Ian. I suppose if the shoe was on the other foot I would be just as possessive. I turned the radio on in an effort to help my mind think about something other than her.

We pulled into the campground just before daybreak. I jumped out of the truck, but I didn't slam my door. I went around to the other side and opened the passenger side door so I could wake the sleeping Wanda. Her full body weight was up against the door and I caught her before she hit the ground. She was cradled in my arms. My heart sped up as she opened her eyes and looked up at me. I turned and Ian blocked my path. He wasn't angry and when he spoke he was almost begging.

"Please, Nate, let me take her?"

I whispered in her ear, "walking through fire" before I handed her off to Ian.

"Ian, put me down!" she whined.

She was obviously still angry with him. I took that as a good sign…for me, at least.

As the sleeping bags were lined up, I chose the bag to the left of Wanda. I just wanted to be near her even if Ian was wrapped around her like a boa constrictor. When I woke Wanda was still lying next to me and Ian was no longer holding her. She was lying with her back to me. I stretched long and hard and then I went for broke. I wrapped myself around her. She giggled. She was obviously awake. I scooted closer and buried my face in the back of her hair. I had morning wood and I wanted so desperately to become one with her.

"Ahhh, this is the life."

She placed her arm over mine and twisted her head in my direction as she spoke. "You're silly. You know that?"

"Hey, a man can dream can't he?" I lifted my head and rested my cheek on hers. "Mmmmmm, I could get used to this."

"In your dreams, dude!" She giggled again. She was so damned adorable.  
>I tickled her and she squealed. She flipped to face me and our eyes met as she attempted to tickle me back.<p>

Her squeal woke Ian. He saw us playing around. "What the hell are you doing? Get your paws off of her!" He scrambled to his feet ready to fight.

I scooted away from her. "Hey, it was just in good fun. I didn't mean any harm."

I scrambled to my feet. He was bigger than me, but I wasn't going down without a fight. Suddenly, Wanda sprang to her feet and she got between us. She pushed Ian in his chest as hard as she could, but he didn't budge. She pushed him again as she screamed at him.

"Ian, back off!" She pushed him again. Ian took a step back, but he didn't take his eyes off of me.

"I'll kill you," Ian said as he waved his fist at me.

Wanda slapped Ian in the face. "You have no right to threaten anyone else's life. Do you hear me, Ian O'Shea?" She had his attention now. He looked wounded. His eyes went blank. They were cold. He finally turned and walked away. Jared ran to the van, grabbed a gun, and followed Ian into the woods.

I thought it best if I made myself scarce. Burns caught up with me as I headed for the bathroom.

"What the hell happened back there?"

"We were just having a little fun," I said flatly.

"Nate, do you have a thing for her?"

"What? No! She's just a kid." I said it like I was trying to convince him, but in reality I was trying to convince myself.

When Burns and I returned, I immediately scanned the campsite in search of Wanda. She was sitting with Melanie on the perimeter and eating lunch.

I sat on the other side of the campsite where I could keep an eye on her and I called Carl. He told me that he informed the others of the impending visitors and Maria was already in an uproar over the food situation. If she had seen the way these people lived she wouldn't be so exasperated. We lived like kings next to them. I told Carl to let Maria know that we would remedy the food situation once we got there. I hung up the phone and looked at my watch.

"People, we leave in two hours!" I called out.

I couldn't help but notice when Wanda got up from her perch and rolled up the sleeping bags that she and Ian had slept in. Lily intercepted her at the back of the truck and they both disappeared inside the front of the van. After about ten minutes she exited the van and she headed straight for me.

"Can you take me to the river so I can wash up?"

"Sure." I went to the van and started stacking some of the cups that needed washing. Wanda went to the truck and grabbed her bag out of the front seat.

"Here. You might need this." I handed her a container that held a bar of soap.

"Thanks."

I cradled the shotgun in my left arm and extended my right elbow out to her and said "Shall we, pardner?"

She put her arm through mine and said. "Let's go pardner. I'm tired of grime. This girl needs to look fresh." She smirked and off we went to the river.

When we got to river Wanda took off her sneakers and waded in. "AHHHHHHHH! This is freaking cold!"

I laughed at her. "You're not in the desert anymore Dorothy!" I put down the shotgun and spread my arms out wide and looked at the treetops. "This here's the mountains. The river flows down from way up yonder and it's fed by the rain in the summer and the snow in the winter."

"Thanks for the science lesson Mister, hey what _is _your last name?"

"Downey, Nathan Downey, ma'am!" I pretended to tip my hat as a gentleman would when he was in the presence of a lady."

Wanda squatted in the ankle deep water and dipped her washcloth in and squeezed it out. I laid the gun at the edge of the river bed and squatted at the water's edge about fifteen feet away from her. I began washing the cups I had gathered. All of a sudden a movement from behind Wanda caught my eye. I looked up just as the bear reared up on his hind legs and let out a warning cry. The sound was frightening and I focused on Wanda who stood frozen in the river. I prayed she wouldn't bolt or he would kill her before I had a chance to do anything about it.

I spoke in a very gentle voice. "Don't move. Don't scream." I remained calm. "If you move he will charge. Let him keep his focus on me." I started to back up slowly towards the gun. The bear exploded with a roar and rose up on his hind legs. Wanda jumped and let out a weak yelp. I was beside the gun now. I was lowering my center of gravity closer and closer the gun. Wanda was whimpering now. Suddenly, I heard Ian's voice. He was shouting at the bear. "Heahhhh, heahhhhh."

It was the distraction that I needed. I quickly grabbed the gun and yelled "Wanda run!" She started to run and the bear charged. I didn't want to kill him so I shot the gun in the air, but I continued to aim in the direction of the bear if he didn't stop. The bear stopped in his tracks, turned and ran off into the woods. I exhaled sharply and dropped my head. _Thank you. _

I rose to my feet and turned to see Wanda wrapped around Ian. He was trying to console her, but she was in hysterics. "It's okay. You're okay now. Nate scared him off. Shhhhhhh. Wanda, it's okay. Shhhh." This continued for several minutes. Ian kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair as he spoke to her.

Just as I had given up all hope of ever having any chance with her, the strangest thing happened. Ian guided her towards me.

"Please take care of her," he muttered and he turned away quickly.

Wanda raced to get in front of him. "Ian?" He was marching towards the van. "Ian? What are you doing?" She was walking backwards trying to keep pace with him. "I'm right here." He didn't slow. She put her arms around him in an effort to stop him.

He stopped walking. He broke her grasp from his waist and growled, "Wanda STOP IT!"

She was pleading. "Noooo, noooo."

He released her wrists and continued to walk. She collapsed on the ground and sobbed. It was heartbreaking. I wanted to run to her, but Jared was there quickly and he picked her up off the ground and carried her to the van. I was right behind him. I didn't want to let her out of my sight. Jared turned abruptly to me and said "I'm driving the van. Burns can ride with you. Let's go."

He snapped me back to my senses. I turned to the rest of the crowd and bellowed, "You heard the man, let's go!"

Everyone immediately did as they were told and we were quickly on the road. It was dangerous having Jared drive, but Wanda was such a mess. We had only been on the road a few miles when suddenly we pulled over. I was in the back of the truck so I didn't have a clue as to why. _Shit! Please tell me we are not in trouble here. _The back door of the truck opened and Burns was standing there. He knew I would be freaking out.

"It's okay. Wanda is sick. She's tossing her cookies in the grass."

"Jesus, is she all right?" I was ready to jump out of the truck, but Burns stopped me.

"Ian's got her. I'm getting back on the road. They'll catch up." Burns slammed the door shut before I could say another word. _What the hell? Is she pregnant?_ I couldn't wrap my mind around it. She seemed so much like a child herself, so innocent.

We arrived back at the mountain late. Burns pulled open the back door and immediately went inside the house. I walked around to the back of the van and opened the door. Our guests slowly climbed out and stood in a circle in the cool spring night air. The lights inside the house went on and everyone looked towards the back porch.

"Wanda, I don't think it would be a good idea to bring you to the cave right now. The family probably wouldn't approve of a parasite sleeping so close to them." I wanted to take back the parasite remark as soon as I said it. "You'll sleep in the house with Burns."

"Ian. Can Ian stay with me?" she implored.

"It's okay," Ian offered. "I can stay with the others."

"No!" She grabbed his arm tightly.

Burns came out of the house grinning. "Everything still looks the same." He turned to Wanda who was shivering in her light jacket. "Wanda, let me show you to your room."

"Ian is coming with me," she announced.

Burns didn't look pleased. "They should be all right for tonight. Keep the shades down so he can't be seen just in case," I said trying to appease both parties.

"Thank you, Nate."

"I told you before, anything for a pretty lady," I smirked and shot a look at Ian for good measure. "Okay gang, let's get a move on." I herded the rest of the visitors to the cave. Carl had set up the mattresses in the main room. "I'm sorry we don't have individual rooms like you do. But the temperature is always a comfortable sixty degrees in this room."

"This is fine," Melanie replied graciously. "Is there a bathroom?"

"Well the good bathroom is in the house, but if you need to go in the night there is an outhouse just outside the cave about thirty feet to the left of the entrance. I can bring you to it if you want."

"No, I'm good. I was just curious."

"Okay, good night everyone. I'll see you in the morning."


	3. Chapter 3

**So, I am excited to see that some of you have read and reviewed. I've heard from some of my old friends ladaane, who is the person that convinced me to write this; MagicalNikky, Stubborn Pear, babes-tastycakes, Pipes, Annabelleloves, and Barbie. It's good to hear from all of you. I was quite surprised to see my very first review had come from someone I had never heard from before. SSRAINES, thank you! I've also gotten a review and some fav lists from some others, some new and some I haven't heard from in a while. Thank you Liz, Prancing Anya, and Disney Vampire. Thank you all. And now for chapter 3…**

HOME TURF

04/08/2002 – It's good to be back home. The caverns were amazing and the gardens were a wonder as Jeb had promised. He used mirrors to capture the light as it entered the small cracks in the ceiling of the main cavern to diffract the light in order to give the garden its life giving sunshine. Unfortunately watering the garden requires manual labor since the only source of water lies in the underground spring in the bathing room. So, each day a few people are given the chore of watering the gardens. It needs to be done every day due to the stifling heat. It is cooler in the lower part of the caverns but places like Doc's office are hot. I'm glad to be back here where the seasons change.

However, I am wrestling with a small dilemma. Actually, it's a huge dilemma. It just comes in a small package. The soul I spoke about? Wanda? She seems to have invaded my thoughts. I don't know why. I mean she's beautiful, but she is so young. Too young I would have thought. But she loves another. He is my age, but the age thing doesn't seem to matter to her. And he is a ticking time bomb. He wrestles with his own demons which is what brings me to my quandary. I think I could destroy this relationship and take her for myself, but would it be right to destroy her happiness for my own selfish needs? After all, I've never been the marrying kind. How long would I be happy with her before I walked away? So many things to think about. The fact that she is a soul is so absolutely intriguing to me…

I set my alarm for early so I could use the shower before anyone else woke up. It was going to be a busy day. I had six guests to deal with plus the things I had been neglecting since we left for our adventure. Carl said that Maria was clamoring about the dwindling food supply so I needed to take a full inventory. I also needed to get with Maria on the dinner menu for the next week. Laundry was also high on my list of priorities.

I found Maria in her usual morning place, sitting in a chair above the root cellar reading a book and soaking up the sun. Maria was American Indian and she loved being outside. In her mind the elements were part of what made us what we are. She worshipped the sun, the moon, the soil, and all God's creatures. "Good morning Maria!"

"Good morning, Nathan. I'm glad you are home." She was also the only one who called me by my given name.

"So, are you saying you missed me or simply that you needed me?"

She got up from her chair and hugged me tightly. "You know you are like a son to me."

I smiled at her. "Good because I need a mother now and again to keep me in line."

"You are a good boy."

"Thank you. I spoke to Carl and he said you are requesting food."

"Yes, how many guests did you bring back with you?"

"Six. Three men and three women."

"Carl said one of them is a soul?"

"Yes, and she is quite beautiful."

"Do I detect a hint of admiration?"

I used my fingers to indicate a small amount. "Just a little."

"She is not like us. Remember that."

"I know. She also has a lover and he is human."

"It seems to me that you want what you can't have and I am thinking that the fact that she is not human intrigues you."

I put my finger to my nose. "Maria you know me so well."

"Well, the answer will present itself. It always does."

I sighed. "I just wish she wasn't so damned adorable."

She squeezed my hand and looked at me with love in her dark eyes.

"Maria, I would like it if you would get a menu together for me in the next day or two. I'll send Burns on a trip to the market. I hope to complete the inventory by then."

"I'll get right on it."

"Oh, our visitors don't have refrigeration where they come from, so they are limited on the types of foods they have been able to eat. You might want to keep that in mind when you create your menu."

Maria chuckled.

"What?"

"You mean fresh meat for the fresh meat."

I laughed with her. "Exactly."

My next chore was to gather up my laundry. I walked briskly back to the cave. Our guests were still sleeping peacefully. I could only guess the coolness of the cave was comforting to them after the long trip. I returned to the root cellar and my sister Kim was already there. She was a few years older than me, but she never mothered me. She always respected my decisions. She looked a lot like me except she had breasts and she had a pretty nose, not like mine. I hated my nose and she knew it. When we were kids she would call me 'proboscis' when she wanted to hurt my feelings.

"Good morning, Kim."

"Good morning, Nate. I thought I'd get a jump on my laundry."

"Yeah, me too."

"That scene yesterday at the campground was crazy. Ian was pretty pissed about you messing with his girl."

"I know. I think his jealousy is a little out of place considering she agreed to marry him."

"Well you watch yourself because he's got his eye on you."

"Don't you worry about me. This is my turf and I'm the king here."

"Kings have been murdered before," she reminded me.

I didn't answer her. I sorted my laundry and started the first load. "Kim would you…"

"Yes, I'll start your other load when I'm done with the washer."

"Thank you." I kissed her on the cheek and bolted from the root cellar. My next stop was back to the house to see if everyone was up. I knew everyone would be heading to the house soon for breakfast.

I entered the back door. "Good morning all!" The first thing I saw was Wanda and she was wearing make up and I was mesmerized at the sight of her. "Whoa! Wanda, you look especially delicious this morning." I walked over and hugged her, pausing a few seconds to bury my face in her hair. It smelled so good. I didn't want to let go. "I trust you slept well?" I kept my arm secured around her waist.

"Apparently I slept like a log, once I fell asleep," she said grinning slyly.

"Huh." That stung.

Sarah jumped off the couch and ran towards me. "Good morning. I missed you while you were gone." She threw her arms around my waist and pulled me away from the object of my affection. Sarah had a crush on me almost since the day she arrived here. Burns and I picked her up at the police station. Her parents were killed trying to escape from the seekers and Sarah was caught unharmed. She never talked about what happened. I think she was just happy that we here accepted her and treated her like family. Aunt Sarah and Carl took to her immediately and she became like a sister to Megan.

"Is everyone ready to go?" I asked.

"Ian is still in the shower," Wanda replied. She walked over to the couch and sat down next to Carl and addressed him. "Hi. My name is Wanda, well Wanderer really."

"Good to meet you Wanderer, but I'm a little confused," Carl replied.

"Confused at what?"

"I was under the impression you were here for Burns," he said flatly.

She looked over at Burns who was holding his head in one hand and shaking it back and forth in denial. Burns had never had more than a platonic relationship with any of the humans. It made perfect sense to me that Carl would come to this conclusion. After all, I came to the same conclusion when I first met her.

"No. I don't _think _so. I'm here to meet all of you and share my knowledge."

"Are you a teacher?"

"Well, no. I am more of what you would call a guest lecturer, I guess. My stories are for everyone, not just the children."

I spoke up. "She's lived on nine different planets that aren't even in our solar system."

This caught his interest. "Really? There are more people out there?"

"Well, no; but there are other types of species," she clarified.

I interrupted before the conversation got too deep. "Okay, lecture time hasn't begun yet. Let's get back to caves. Our visitors are awake and we need to be hospitable." I turned my attention towards Burns. "Burns, please bring Wanda and Ian when they are ready."

Burns nodded his head in acknowledgement.

I left with Sarah still wrapped around my arm and with Carl and Megan in tow. We hadn't gotten too far when my cell phone rang. "Excuse me Sarah," I said with a smile.

She released me and I pulled my phone from my pocket.

"Hello?"

"Nate. I got a call. They caught two women over at Kohl Mountain near the campground. Seems they were raiding the campers and they got caught. I'm going down to get them."

I sighed. "I'm not going to be able to go with you."

"Okay."

Suddenly, I had a stroke of brilliance. "Why don't you take Ian with you?"

"Are you _sure_?"

"He'd be perfect. He's human and he's good looking. They will probably warm up to him quickly, don't you think?"

"Yeah."

"You can talk him into it. I have faith in you."

"Thanks," Burns answered sarcastically.

"I'll hold down the fort here. Don't tell him about staying in the root cellar until you are on the road though."

"I'll call you when I've got them."

"Good. Be safe."

I hung up the phone. Talk about a lucky break. If my plan works, Ian and Wanda will be apart for a few days and I can work my magic. It's gonna be a good day.

"Carl, I have to go back and get Wanda. It seems we are going to have more company. Burns got a call and he's going to the station to pick up a couple of females that were caught up at Kohl's. Burns is taking Ian with him."

"Man, this place is rockin' today!"

"Yeah, it seems we are going to acquire some new ladies." I replied rubbing my hands together.

I was whistling happily by the time I entered the house.

"Hello, gorgeous!"

"Did you plan this?" Wanda was clearly annoyed.

I almost felt guilty. "What? You think I planned for two women to get caught?" I took her by the elbow. "I call it dumb luck. Don't be angry, Wanda. Now I get to be your escort for the day." I gestured towards the door. "Shall we?" As we reached the bottom step, the sunlight hit her and she practically glowed. "By the way, have I told you that you look ravishing today?"

"I believe it was delicious," she said flatly.

She remembered my words. "Ahhh yes. That too." I couldn't help but smile at the thought that I had already made an impact.

It was nearly a mile walk to the cave where the clan lived. In an effort to make small talk I pointed out the natural obstacles that we implemented to help keep the humans safe. I pointed out the fence and the leaf covered trench and then the rock barrier. I explained to her that we didn't have the harsh desert to keep us safe from seekers, but that our first and strongest defense was Burns. When we neared the entrance to the cave I pointed out the elusive first doorway that hid the real entrance which was secured by a strong oak door. It would take a lot to get through that door. I also pointed out that if they did break through; we had an alternate escape route that came out some distance away from the front of the cave. Thankfully we never had to use it except the one time I snuck back in after being caught by Burns.

Mel, Jared, Aaron, and Lily were waiting for us at the mouth of the cave. They were enjoying the warm sunshine just as Maria had done this morning.

Jared was the first to speak. "Where's Ian?"

I raised my hand as a sign of peace. "He went on a mission with Burns."

"Is he okay?" He looked to Wanda for an answer.

"Yes, he's fine. He wanted to go," she replied.

"Look at you! You are so pretty!" Melanie blurted out.

Lily joined in the revelry. "Yeah. Where did you get the make up?"

"Wait till you see Burns's bathroom. It is spectacular!" Wanda gushed.

Lily barked. "I'm so jealous!"

"Ladies!" I intervened. "Everyone will have a chance to use the facilities. I promise. Now, can we get a move on? Everyone is waiting!"

I began by taking the five newcomers on a tour of the cave. I explained our set up to them including the laundry room and that Maria was like the 'Queen mother' around here. She was in charge of the meals and the laundry room. If you wanted to do laundry, you needed to see her about it since she kept a schedule each day to avoid arguments. I showed them the rooms and the 'community' living space that our humans were forced to share because we didn't have individual rooms the way they did at the caverns. I avoided showing them my room because I _did_ have a separate room from the others, not because I was the leader, but because I was one of the originals in this place and I took this room early on. Maria also has a separate room since she was with us when we first came here. We entered the main cave and the masses were gathered waiting for our arrival. Burns had alerted Carl to make sure everyone was here at noon.

The elders were given first choice of the couches as was expected. The others had brought blankets to sit on and the children were playing on the mattresses that were piled up against the wall. I let everyone mill about for a bit while I waited for my late arrivals like Kim who I knew had been doing laundry as well as Max and Miranda who cut school early and did a few personal chores before the meeting.

Finally, I brought the visitors with me to the front of the audience and we stood in front of the large rock that we used as a podium due to its unique shape. Everyone quieted down and Max and Miranda quieted the little ones.

"Hey everyone. We had quite an adventure this past week but it's great to be back home. I missed you all."

I continued to tell the crowd about the wondrous things I saw at the caverns and about the people who I didn't have the chance to bring back with me. I spent a lot of time talking about Jeb and Doc since they were two important players in the clan. Once I had run out of things to say about our trip I turned things around and introduced each of my own family to our visitors. In my eyes, no one was insignificant so I mentioned something relevant about every member of our group including the little ones. Once each of the members had been introduced I proceeded to introduce each of my guests. Again I tried to let my audience know how special each of these people were in their own right. I saved my introduction of Melanie and Wanda for last because their stories were intertwined and I felt it best if Melanie told the story.

I turned to Melanie and took her by the hand. "Tell it the same way you told it to me." I kissed her hand and stepped into the audience. I pulled the others with me leaving Melanie and Wanda alone at the podium. She told their story beautifully. I couldn't help but notice that Wanda looked uncomfortable. I wanted so badly to comfort her but I knew that she needed to get comfortable in front of this audience because soon she would be telling her own stories.

It was a long meeting and my stomach was grumbling so I called the meeting to close with the announcement that Burns had gone to pick up two humans that had been caught and Ian had gone with him. The party continued outside the cave as burgers and dogs were grilled for a late lunch. The guests mingled with the clan. It was good to see. I held back from approaching Wanda, but I kept my eye on her.

Eventually the crowd thinned and I decided to check on Wanda. "How are you doing?"

"It's a little overwhelming."

"Well, we have less people here than you do at home."

"True. But I spent my first weeks in solitary confinement. There wasn't much to tell initially other than Mel's body had returned with a 'parasite' controlling it. I didn't need to do much talking."

"I just have a hard time believing you are not human."

"Oh, but I am. I bleed just as you do and if you strangled me right now this body would die. As far as me, the soul, you would have minutes to save me. Would you even want to try?"

"Truthfully, I don't know." I was sincere in my statement because if I saw her as a silver centipede as others had described the soul to me, I don't know if I could relate to it as a living, breathing, loving entity.

"Well Jared, Ian, and Doc did."

"So are you still the same person…er I mean soul that you were before?"

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Let me try to put this into perspective for you. Nate, you are a good looking, personable, and charming guy."

"I thought you'd never notice." Once again she brought a smile to my face.

"I noticed. But that is not my point. Let's say they took the essence of 'you' out of your body and put it into a body like Burns. Would you be the same? Would you still be charming? Burns is not charming. He's sweet, but he's not charming. Maybe the only reason you are charming is because you have that body." She paused before continuing. "You see Melanie over there? She is tall and strong and outgoing. She's not afraid of anything."

"Well, neither are you."

"I wasn't when I was in her body, but then again she was with me."

I remembered the amazing story of Wanda in another life form on another planet that Jamie had told me. "What about Rides the Beast?"

"Good point. Maybe I was like Melanie in that body. I am insecure in this body."

"You shouldn't be." I tried to reassure her.

"That may be true, but it _is_ what it is. People like to do things for me. I can't help wondering what I would do if there wasn't anyone to _do_ for me."

"I wouldn't worry about that. I would _do_ for you anytime."

She smiled at me. "Thanks Nate, but that wouldn't do much to help my insecurities now would it?"

Megan and Sarah burst onto the scene ending our conversation. "Aunt Sue and some of the others want to know when Wanda is going to start her lecture."

"Are you up for a little question and answer session?"

"Sure," she said bravely.

"I'll get you started. Then I am going to take your friends up to the house and show them around. I know the ladies especially will want get into the shower."

I left Wanda at the podium fielding questions about her past lives and escorted the others to the house. I left them there and quickly returned to the cave. I took a front row seat and I was mesmerized by not only her beauty but her stories as well. At five-thirty I rose and approached the podium because I could see that Wanda was looking a bit worn out. Aunt Sue and Maria left in a hurry with Kim and Nadine in tow. I remained close to Wanda as the others slowly left the cave.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, that would be great."

"Come with me."

I led her to a small storage room where much of the non-perishable food and beverages were stored.

"What's your poison, Water, Soda, or Juice?"

"Um juice. Grape, if you have it."

"Grape it is." I handed her two cups and carefully filled each of them from a half gallon bottle. "We should go outside. It's too nice to be stuck in these caves all day."

Once outside, we strolled to where the children were playing.

"We call this the playground. This is Professor Maxim and his lovely wife Miranda. They teach the children. Even little Ben knows how to read already."

After the introductions, I turned to her and said "I've sent someone to retrieve your friends from the house. They should be here momentarily. As much as I hate leaving you I must attend to some business. I will see you after dinner." I bowed and took her hand and kissed it gently. "You will be okay here?"

"Yes," she answered. Her face was pink. My charm had an obvious affect on her. This was good sign. I quickly headed to the root cellar. I needed to get my clothes into the dryer and out of there before Burns returned with our guests. To my surprise, Kim had put the clothes in the dryer. I just needed to heat them up and then I could begin folding them. When I finished I left the clothes at the house in Burns's room while I retrieved four blankets, sheets, and pillows. I returned to the root cellar and pulled four of the five cots that were stacked against the wall and prepared them for our guests. I figured I would stay with Ian and the newcomers. I had two reasons for doing this. First, I knew it would put Ian's mind at ease and second, I wanted to get to know the new ladies. After all it was slim pickin's here on the mountain and I couldn't bank on stealing the porcelain soul from her fiancé.

I asked Kim to make me a plate for dinner since it was obvious that I wasn't going make it to dinner. I called Burns while I ate my dinner at the house. He said everything went smoothly and he pulled over in the usual town in the usual place that we had worked out in our past endeavors. Ian said that the ladies were very frightened, but he felt that he had convinced them that they were not being driven to their death. He also said that Ian was very concerned about Wanda. I assured him that she was fine and that she had spent a busy day learning about our family and telling her wondrous stories.

It was dark by the time I returned to the cave to retrieve Wanda. I found her standing with her friends in a group.

I heard Lily speaking very loudly to my Uncle George. "She's waiting for Nate so he can take her back to the house."

"Did I hear someone say my name?"

To my surprise Wanda turned abruptly and threw her arms around my waist and buried her face in my chest. "Well now, whatever I did to deserve this, please tell me so I can do it again." I carefully folded my arms around her.

"They are so mean!" she croaked.

I backed away and cupped my hand under her chin so I could see her face. "Are you crying?"

"They told me that I couldn't sleep in the cave!" She was wiping back the tears.

It broke my heart to see her so hurt. I pulled her close and held her tightly in my arms. "Awwww. You don't want to sleep there anyway. You've got a whole bedroom to yourself! They all have to share whether they like it or not." I closed my eyes and her scent took me to a place I had never been before. _Why? Why her?_

She pulled herself together and said good night to her friends. As we were walking she stumbled over some tree roots and I grabbed her hand to steady her. Now that I had her, I wasn't letting go. When we arrived at the house, the shades were already pulled. I plopped on the couch and turned on the television. "I suppose that you want to wait up for Ian?" I knew she would and that meant I got to spend some alone time with her.

"Why are they so late? The town isn't that far away, is it?"

"No, but the illusion would not be complete if he turned around and brought them right back here. He drives out about two hours and then hangs out for a few hours before he returns. The road runs directly through the center of town and we don't want to give anyone a reason to suspect anything. By my calculation, they should be back pretty soon."

She sauntered over to the couch and sat down on the opposite side. I pretended not to notice, but I couldn't help but look at her. I decided it couldn't hurt to turn up the flirting. She ignored me so I flipped onto my back and laid my head in her lap. I made funny faces at her in the hopes she would laugh and I could break the tension between us. I could see her trying not to react, but finally, she giggled.

"Why do you always flirt with me?" she asked still giggling.

"Because I like you," I said nonchalantly.

"I like you too."

"Good." I rolled over onto my side to watch the television, but I kept my head on her lap. She laid her hand gently on my shoulder. It was nice. I felt like we had made a breakthrough… And that was good.

After a while, the truck pulled into the driveway. I jumped to my feet. "They're here."

We both raced to the back door and down the steps. Burns was just backing the truck up towards us. I cautiously opened the back door. Ian backed out of the truck slowly. As he stood upright and turned, she was on him in a second. "You're home!" she trilled.

Ian lifted her off the ground. "Hey, Babe, did you miss me?"

I turned my attention to the two frightened young ladies in the back of the truck. I held my hands out towards them trying to keep them from bolting. I couldn't possibly stop them both and Ian was otherwise engaged. "Ian, I need you. Wanda, say good night to Ian."

"What do you mean say good night to Ian?" she responded obviously confused by my statement.

"You didn't tell her?" Ian growled at me.

"Be serious. Would you have told her?" I said in my defense. Hell I wasn't about to give up my comfortable and beautiful pillow to give her the bad news.

Burns came around Ian and grabbed Wanda by the waist and hauled her up the stairs.

"I love you!" Ian cried out.

"I am going to kick your ass," Ian growled as he came to help me.

I ignored him and addressed the female in front of me. She was average height with dark hair and dark eyes. She appeared to be in her early twenties. She wasn't particularly pretty from what I could tell in the darkness, but she was very frightened so I turned on the charm.

"Hi, my name is Nate. What is your name?"

"Her name is Gina," Ian responded.

"Gina. That is such a pretty name for a pretty girl. I'm human just like you. I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to get you out of this truck and into a safe place."

Ian passed me as he approached the other girl who was much prettier and a red head. She seemed to trust Ian. "Come on Holly. Remember what I said? I won't let anyone hurt you."

Holly reached out for his hand and he took it and slowly backed his way out of the truck. Gina took her cue and did the same for me. As we backed out of the truck, I took both of her hands in mine and slowly backed up towards the root cellar. Ian on the other hand wrapped his arm around Holly's shoulder in a protective way.

"Ian and I will stay with you tonight if that's all right. We won't hurt you," I assured them.

"And we won't rape you," Ian added. Jesus, why the hell would he even put that notion in their head? I shot him an aggravated glance.

"We just want you to have a goods night's sleep before we introduce you to the others who live here."

"You live with souls?" Holly asked nervously.

"Only two. They are our friends. There are twenty humans who live here on this mountain."

"Twenty?" Gina said in a small voice.

"Yes, so you see? You will be part of a family if you choose to stay with us," I said calmly.

Once we got inside the root cellar I released Gina's hands.

"I'm sorry that the accommodations are not great, but this is only temporary. As you can see, this is our laundry room. The door has a lock and so it is best suited to newcomers like yourselves."

"Why are you locking us in?" Holly demanded bravely.

There was a knock on the door.

I held up my finger. "Hold that thought."

I stuck my head out the door. "Wanda is demanding that she get to talk to Ian. She's threatening me and I am not going to listen to her scream at me all night." Burns said in a low voice.

"Fine, give her five minutes. No more."

I stepped back into the room. "Ian, go talk to your girlfriend."

"Fiancée," he corrected me.

"Just go deal with her before she wakes the whole mountain."

Ian left the room and I was alone with the newcomers.

"Now, where were we?"

"Why are you locking us in if we are free to go?" Holly, the brave one asked.

"Well, for starters, you might be a part of a family yourself. If that is the case you might take it upon yourself to take off and try to get back to them. If you get caught in town then the local constable might catch on to our little secret here and that could ruin it for all of us. It is better for us in that case to gain your trust and return you at a later date when it is safe."

"It's just the two of us," Gina blurted out.

"I see. You seem to be in pretty good shape. Were you living somewhere permanently?"

"We've been living in an abandoned barn. It's dry and warm." Gina responded.

"What do you do for food?"  
>"We steal cars. We drive them till we run out of gas and if we can't get to a station after it closes we just steal another car," Holly said boldly.<p>

Ian returned and the door closed behind him.

"Everything all right?" I asked.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah," but he didn't sound convinced.

"Who taught you to hot wire a car?"

Holly answered. "If we are going to answer your questions, then how about you answer some of ours?"

"Fair enough."

She turned to Ian. "That girl, your fiancée, she's a soul?"

"Yes," Ian answered.

"How can you love a soul? She's the enemy! She destroyed our whole race!"

"I know," he sounded defeated.

I couldn't believe it. "Is that all you're going to say?"

"Look, I don't feel like talking right now. I'm tired," Ian replied. He walked over to one of the cots and laid with his back to us.

I knew whatever had transpired between him and Wanda had a profound affect on him. I needed to defend her myself.

"Look, she may be a soul, but she didn't cause this all by herself. She's just one small cog in a piece of machinery. She didn't know what she would find when she came here. Other planets are not like ours."

"How many planets have they invaded?" Holly said coldly.

"I don't know, but this is the only planet that has fought back. Think about it. They could have taken over all the dogs instead of the humans. Would we have noticed? Would we even have cared? What makes us special is that we fight for our lives. Souls like Wanda and Nate are sympathetic to our plight. They don't want to see the human race die out. Wanda even gave her original host body back."

"And then she took another," Holly pointed out.

Ian sat up abruptly. "She didn't ask for another body. I did. We all did. She was willing to give her life so Melanie could have hers back. When she went under the knife she was prepared to die."

"So how could you take another human?" Holly shot back.

"They took a human that already had a soul in it. Doc removed the soul and we waited to see if she came back. She didn't. The body was an empty shell so he placed her into the body," Ian explained. I was happy to see that he had defended her.

"You have a doctor?" Gina finally piped up.

"Not here," I replied. "Ian and Wanda are from another clan. They are here visiting."

"There are others?" Gina asked looking hopeful.

"Yes, I know of five other clans including Ian's clan, but we are the only two clans that have souls as part of them that I know. There could be many more out there. The point is we don't give up and thankfully with souls like Wanda and Burns, we have a fighting chance." I looked over at Ian and smiled.

Ian's bunk was furthest from the wall with the washers and dryers. The door to one of the dryers had been left wide open. He took off his shoe and pitched it across the room. It landed with a thud in the dryer. He did the same with the second.

"Nice throw. You play football?"

"No, I pitched in college. I was supposed to start in the minor leagues the summer the invasion happened. I was a sophomore at Arizona. If I did well I would have dropped out and tried making my mark in the majors. Talk about broken dreams," Ian grumbled.

"I guess we should get some sleep. Tomorrow, I'll introduce you to my people."


	4. Chapter 4

**So, it was a rough Father's day for the LeBrun household**. **We had to put down my 17 year old cat, Miss Gabby. She was a good girl and we are going to miss her. Good thing I had this chapter ready to go for today. I only hope you enjoy it.**

PLAYED FOR A FOOL

04/09/2002 – So, the last few days have proven to be most interesting. First I was attacked at the caverns by a girl named Lacey. Then Ian and Wanda had a huge argument and I witnessed two days of drama. They finally repaired the rift and as luck would have it, two nice young ladies were captured and I was able to manage to get Ian to go and get them leaving me alone with his beautiful bride to be. Now he's stuck in the root cellar with me and our two young guests. The ladies are young, in their early twenties. Perfect age for Ian. Perfect age for me, too. Holly is definitely the better looking of the two, but I let Ian deal with her. It's only a matter of time before she develops a crush on Ian. If I get horny enough I can jump on Gina. She looks like it wouldn't take much to charm her out of her pants, but I'll put that on the back burner. I can't stop thinking about Wanda. I'm ready to make my next move.

"Nate? Wake up."

"Huh?" It took me a moment to get my wits about me. "Gina? What's wrong?" It was the middle of the night.

"I'm sorry. I really have to go to the bathroom."

I sighed. "Okay." I got up and reached in the darkness for my phone on the table. I dialed Burns. Ian was lightly snoring on his cot. It rang five times before he picked it up.

"Hello," he mumbled.

"I need you to unlock the door."

"Now?"

"Gina needs to go to the bathroom."

"Gina?"

"You know. One of the ladies you rescued from your friend, Searing Flames."

"Oh, right. I'll be right there."

A few minutes later Burns came and unlocked the door.

"I have to hold onto you. It's just a precaution. I can hold your wrist or I can hold your hand."

She reached out to my hand. "Hurry!" she said in a low voice.

I took her hand and we ran to the house. I towed her up the stairs and through the back door. I led her to the bathroom. "If you try to jump out the window, Burns will see you," I warned.

She came out a few minutes later. "Can I take a shower?"

"Now?"

"I haven't had a real shower in four months. Please?"  
>I sighed deeply.<p>

"I'll see if I can scrounge up some clean clothes."

Suddenly she bolted forward and she hugged me. "Thank you."

I pulled my phone from my pocket and called Burns. "Come on in. She's taking a shower."

"It's four in the morning!"

"I can tell time, Burns. Just get in here."

Burns entered the house.

"Keep an eye on her while I get her some clothes."

We kept extra sets of sweats in the spare room in the linen closet. It was the room where Wanda was sleeping. I quietly entered the room and went to the closet. I found what I was looking for pretty quickly and then I turned to look at the sleeping beauty. The moonlight shone through the window and cast a faint light on her face. _Damn she is beautiful_. My body echoed my mind. _Shit!_ I tried to suppress the erection in my pants. I needed to get out before I lost all control and jumped on her. I quickly exited the room and quietly closed the door. I paused with my head against the door as I tried to regain my self control.

I adjusted myself as I walked back down the hall to the bathroom door. "Gina? I have clothes for you. I'm coming in."

I walked in just as she opened the shower curtain. She was naked and wet.

I turned away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"It's okay. It's not like you've never seen a naked woman before, have you?" she said nonchalantly.

"Well not in the last twenty-four hours," I answered remembering my brief interlude with Lacey. Actually, I didn't see her naked either. In truth, I didn't _see_ anything.

"Are you going to rape me?" Her question not only pulled me from my daydream; it took me by complete surprise.

"No! Why would you think that?"

"I've been raped before. It's not so bad. I just think about something else," she said calmly.

_Oh my god! Is she kidding me?_

I turned around and she was just standing there, dripping wet. "Why would someone…"

I didn't get to finish. "I wasn't always with Holly. I used to be a part of a group. There were six men and two women. I was the young one. They took me when they wanted me."

I was dumbfounded. The erection I had been sporting shriveled away.

"Gina, I would never hurt you and neither would anyone else here." I went to the closet and grabbed a towel. "Here. Dry yourself and get dressed. I don't have undergarments here, but tomorrow I'll have Wanda buy some for you."

I turned to leave.

"Don't go." She walked towards me and grabbed my package.

I jumped back.

"What are you doing?"

"I'll do anything you want as long as you don't turn me over to that soul out there."

"Burns? He wouldn't hurt a fly! He saved my life!"

"You don't want me?" She seemed very surprised and maybe just a little hurt.

I didn't know what to say to that. What man in his right mind would say no to a naked woman willing to give herself to him? "It's not that I don't want you. I just…"

She came closer and she kissed me gently.

"I don't do relationships, Gina."

She grabbed my hands and pulled them to her breasts. Her nipples were erect. _Son of a bitch!_

"You don't want to do this. Tomorrow I'll pretend it never happened. You'll just be another girl on the mountain."

"But I'll be satisfied right?" she said gazing into my eyes.

_Fuck! For months I couldn't get laid and now that I have feelings for someone, they are coming out of the woodwork!_

I walked to the tub and started the water. "Get in."

"Oooo! A bubble bath!" she squealed.

She climbed in while I undressed. I was only partially erect as I climbed into the tub. I noticed a large scar on her back. I wanted to ask her about it, but I didn't want to ruin this moment for her.

I pulled her into my arms and I kissed her. She stopped me. "I have only one condition."

"What?"

"Don't hit me and don't pull me hair."

I gently brushed her hair behind her shoulder and kissed the nape of her neck. I looked up to see if she was enjoying herself. She was biting her lower lip. I couldn't tell if she was enjoying it or enduring it.

"I can stop if you want."

"No." She reached down and caressed my cock which now had a mind of its own.

I responded by reaching between her legs and playing with her labia. I used my forefinger to slowly penetrate her and she moaned softly.

"Get up," I whispered in her ear.

"What?" She said obviously confused.

"Stand up," I reiterated softly.

"Why?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

I smiled at her. "I want to satisfy you."

I helped her to her feet. I knelt beneath her and parted her legs. She held onto the towel rack mounted on the wall as I went in. I could have easily just jumped on her and satisfied my own needs, but this girl had been through hell. Why shouldn't she get the best that I could give her? I didn't think about Wanda as I did when I was with Lacey. I thought about those men who were probably rough and hurt her. I was as gentle as I could be. I caressed her thighs and her buttocks while I tickled her with my tongue. Then I used my fingers to penetrate her. She was gyrating and cooing. The sound of her voice excited me. When she finally cried out in climax I pulled away and sat back in the tub to watch her. She was heaving from the pleasure. I reached up to her and she took my hands.

"Come here, angel," I whispered.

She squatted over me and I lowered her carefully over the top of my engorged penis.

"Oooo, you're a big boy," she said seductively.

I smiled because it wasn't the first time I had heard that.

I sucked on her pretty nipples while she rode me. It felt good. She definitely knew what she was doing. When I finally came close to climaxing I let her know.

"I'm going to cum, Gina. You need to get off."

"Help me," she cried out.

I lifted her off of me and I squirted like a geyser. She laughed. "How cute!"

"I'm glad I amuse you. Next time we use a condom."

"Next time? I thought you don't do relationships," she quipped.

"I don't. I'm just sayin'."

I grabbed her face and kissed her. "I'm sorry about those other guys."

She finally showed pain in her face. "You're not like them." She started to cry.

I pulled her into my arms and let her have a good cry. I didn't say anything. I just held her and stroked her hair. The water had turned cold and after a few minutes she started to shiver. "Angel, we should get out before you freeze to death."

She slowly climbed off of me and I helped her out of the tub. I dried her gently with the towel. Then I brushed my fingers against her cheek. "This is our little secret, okay?"

"Uh-huh."

"And I will always be your friend. Never forget that."

She smiled. "My lips are sealed."

I kissed her one more time and then got dressed. We left the bathroom and found Burns asleep on the couch.

I again took her hand and towed her with me to where Burns was breathing in the steady rhythm of sleep.

"Burns."

He jumped. "Huh?"

Gina jumped back.

"It's okay. He won't hurt you."

"Dude, you want to lock us in?"

He gave me an exasperated look and rose off the couch.

We walked in silence back to the root cellar. I could only imagine what he was thinking. I would have to have a conversation with him in the morning. Well, later this morning.

"Wake me at seven."

"Seven?"

"Yes, I have things I need to speak with you about. Plans for tomorrow."

He yawned. "Okay, you're the boss."

"Thank you."

Once inside the root cellar, I helped Gina back into her cot and tucked her in. I kissed her gently.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"The pleasure was all mine. Get some sleep."

Burns woke me at seven as promised. Holly woke up, too.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she announced.

Burns and I stared at each other. No way, was I going into that bathroom with her.

"Well come on. You might as well take a shower while you're in there," I replied. I took her by the elbow and guided her to the house. Burns followed behind us. I thought she might be more comfortable if she didn't see him. Once inside I led her to the bathroom and released her.

I turned to Burns. "Look, I want you to take Wanda on a road trip today. It would be better if the two of you weren't around."

"Better for who?"

"Listen, what happened last night stays between you and me. I didn't initiate that. It was a mercy fuck."

Burns turned and walked away in disgust. I ran in front of him. "Look, she's a nice girl. She's been abused her whole life. I just wanted to show her that it didn't have to be like that."

"I just think it sucks that I'm the one she's afraid of."

"Give me one more day with them. In the meantime, I want you to do me a favor."

"What?" He still sounded annoyed.

"I want you to get some things for Ian."

"What does Ian want?"

"Did you know he played baseball in college? He said he was about to play in the minors when everything happened. He admitted that he would have dropped out to pursue the major league if he did well. I think it would be a nice gesture to get him some equipment." I reached into my pocket. "I made a list."

"What's the wood for?"

"A pitcher's stand. All pitchers need a target when they practice. Look, I made a diagram." I flipped the paper over to show him the other side.

Burns looked over the list. "This will require a special trip to Irving."

"I know. We'll see you around dinner time."

Burns continued reading the list and then he looked up and smiled. "Anything Wanda desires?"

"Tell that beautiful lady to buy herself some new clothes so she can make them look pretty."

"You have a thing for her, don't you?"

"Is it obvious?"

The door to the bathroom opened and Holly stuck her head out. "Excuse me. You wouldn't happen to have any clean clothes by any chance, would you?"

"Hold on." I once again snuck into Wanda's room and grabbed a pair of sweats from the closet. I didn't stop to stare this time because I was afraid she might wake and I didn't want her to think I was a stalker. I returned to the living room and knocked on the door of the bathroom. "Here you go."

She took the clothes and shut the door.

"If you think about it, try to get a few things for Holly and Gina while you're at it. Wanda could probably guess their sizes. Girls are good at that."

"So, you want me to tell Wanda that I'm keeping her from Ian again?"

"Hey, I'm the one who has to tell Ian. Just tell her that we've already left for the caves."

Holly exited the bathroom looking clean and refreshed. "I hope you don't mind. I found a toothbrush still in the package in the drawer."

"That's what they're there for. Come on. Let's get some breakfast to take back with us." I turned to Burns as she reached out and grabbed me by the arm. "Burns, you should go find Maria. I asked her to get together a list of things she needs."

He didn't say a word. He nodded to me and headed out the back door.

In the kitchen, I peeled Holly off of my arm. "Your buddy woke me last night to go to the bathroom and she showered, too."

"She's not my buddy. We don't even really like each other."

"Why not?"

"She's a little strange for my taste."

"I think she's been through a lot," I said in her defense.

"We've all been through a lot. What makes her so special?" Holly said with disdain.

I turned to her. "You never told me your story."

"My story is just like everyone else's. People were changing, one by one. As soon as I realized I might be next, I went into hiding. I hooked up with others through the years, but I never stayed with anyone for long. It's easier if you don't have to depend on anyone for your own survival."

"So, you're a loner."

"I guess you could say that."

I realized if anyone was going to run it would be Holly.

"Well this place has been home to me almost since the beginning. I have blood relatives here, but I consider everyone on this mountain like family. If you decide to stay, you'd be family, too. Give us two weeks. If you want to go, I'll give you safe transportation to somewhere far from here. We can't afford to be caught. Does that sound fair to you?"

"As long I don't feel threatened, I'll stay…for now," she reciprocated.

"Good. Here, carry this." I handed her two boxes of cereal and a half gallon of milk. I grabbed four bowls, spoons, and a bunch of bananas. We marched out to the root cellar. Once inside we sat at the folding table and began to eat. It wasn't long before Ian and Gina woke up.

"Morning, folks. I trust you slept well."

"I slept like a baby," Gina crooned and gave me a sly look.

"Ian, would you take Gina to the house? I'm sure you both need to freshen up. Holly's already been to the house."

"Can I take another shower?" Gina trilled.

"Maybe later, angel. I have plans for us today."

"When did she take a shower?" Ian asked.

"She woke me last night. She had to go to the bathroom and then when she saw the shower, well, she's a girl. You know…"

Ian grunted his acknowledgement.

"By the way, Wanda and Burns went on a road trip this morning. They'll be back around dinner."

"Road trip?"

"My chief cook requested some things and I thought taking the two souls out of the equation for the day might ease the fears of our guests."

"Later you can take a nice long shower so you can spend some time with your fiancée."

I said this in the hopes that Ian would not enter his room since Wanda had not left yet, but was still sleeping peacefully. I figured if he did then I would feign stupidity citing I thought they had already left.

It worked. Ian and Gina returned from the house quickly and joined us for breakfast. After breakfast, I took Gina by the hand and waved to Ian and Holly. "Shall we?"

I took them all on a tour of the mountain. We walked the outer perimeter because I didn't want to run into Burns as he returned from the cave. I showed them the field that we used to play sports on.

"So, Ian, this is my soccer field. How would you like to play on this?"

"Anytime man, anytime. I see you have backstop. You play baseball here?"

"Sometimes, in the summer."

I could already see the wheels turning in Ian's head.

"It's chilly out here," Gina griped. I knew this was a ploy to get me to put my arm around her. After all, she slept in a barn before she came here. I obliged because my heart still went out to her and her plight. I would never fall for her, but I had to admit I got satisfaction out of making her happy both last night and now. She snuggled into my chest as we walked.

"Holly, are you cold?" I asked trying to promote closeness between her and Ian.

"I wish I had a coat."

"Come on Ian. I won't tell Wanda that you were huggin' on another girl," I teased.

Ian rolled his eyes at me and put his arm around Holly.

"This is my bad. I should have taken you straight to the cave. I have coats in there, but it seemed like such a pretty day."

We finally reached the cave and I led Ian to the others from his clan. They were all hanging out talking with some of the others they had met the day before. Rachel and Rob, and Kim and Tom were with them. I left Holly and Ian behind. Gina stuck to me like glue. I led her to my room. She saw my bed and she squealed with delight. I was the only one in the cave who had a real bed with a headboard and a footboard. Gina jumped on the bed. She seemed very happy despite my warning from last night.

"Gina, I told you, I don't do relationships. I'm a busy guy. I try to keep everyone happy."

"You can keep me happy."

"I admit, I like making you happy, but I don't broadcast who I sleep with. I never have and I never will. Can you understand that?"

"Do people generally walk into your room unannounced?"

"No, never."

"Then, kiss me." She scooted off the bed and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Gina." I pulled her arms from my neck.

"Do you want me to take my clothes off?" She looked at me seductively.

"You're not listening."

She sighed. "I hear very well. You are a sweet guy who runs this place like a well oiled machine. You're a player, but no one knows it…or maybe they do, but they keep their mouths shut. I'm not going to tell anyone. It's just nice having a guy kiss me instead of beating the crap out of me because he's got a hard on when I'm not in the mood to be manhandled."

"Gina do you say this just to get me to feel sorry for you?"

"I don't want you to feel sorry for me. Forget it." She turned quickly away from me and started for the door. I blocked her from the exit.

"I like you. I just don't know how to take you."

"Forget it. At least you've been honest with me. It's just too bad you don't think I've been honest with you."

I grabbed her face and kissed her. She grabbed my biceps and held on as I slid my tongue between her lips and slowly invaded her mouth. There were moments when she seemed almost innocent, but I knew her innocence had been lost long ago. I finally pulled back. "How old are you?"

"I'm almost twenty."

She looked much older. I could only assume the life she led had taken its toll on her. How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

"I was young," she said barely above a whisper.

"Okay." I pulled her into my arms and held her tight. I wouldn't push. It had been six years since the invasion. I could only assume she had been sexually active since she was probably around fourteen. Megan was fifteen and Sarah was only fourteen and I couldn't see me or any man having sex with them. In my eyes, they were both just little girls. Gina was a woman though, and she needed the sex to feel like she was needed.

"If you need someone to make love to you, I can be that man."

"No one's ever made love to me before last night."

I didn't question her. I knew what she meant.

"Come on. Let's get those coats."

I spent the rest of the day introducing our new guests including Ian to the family and showing them around. At first Holly still clung to Ian, but after a while she began to feel more comfortable with the others especially Ian's people. They seemed very at ease with her probably because Ian was so at ease with them. I did hear Carl refer to Ian as the 'soul lover' which I felt was a bit vulgar, but I suppose he spoke the truth. I tried to call Burns late in the afternoon to see how things were going and I got no answer. I could only assume they were busy shopping.

Gina did not cling to me which was a relief. Again, I could only assume that she was trying to keep our secret. She seemed to hit it off with Sarah for some reason. I thought it funny because Sarah always had a school girl crush on me and was very possessive of me. If she only knew the power that Gina wielded over me right now she would probably hate her.

I was a bit worried when Burns and Wanderer had not returned by dinner. They had been gone for nearly six hours. After dinner, I tried to call Burns again, but like before, I got no answer. I left a message asking for him to return my call.

At nine o'clock there was still no sign of them. I called again. No answer. I was worried. It wasn't like Burns to not answer my call. They were both souls though. It wasn't as if they could get caught. Maybe they got into an accident.

We were all sitting in the living room watching TV, but my mind was on my missing souls. I got up and entered the kitchen to get more popcorn. Ian followed me.

"Where are they?" he demanded.

I couldn't tell him that I had no idea, so I lied. "Burns said that Wanda was really enjoying her day and he didn't want to rush her. He said by the time they got out of the mall it was late and so they went out to eat. Don't worry Ian, it's not like they are going to run off and elope." Ian stared at me in horror. I laughed. "You could always pick a human. Holly is single," I joked.

"Wanda _is _human," he said with venom in his voice.

"Whoa. I was just messing with you."

We headed back to the living room and finished watching the movie. I noticed that Holly began to nod off.

"Ian, why don't you accompany the ladies back to the root cellar and I'll wait up for Burns and Wanda."

"Why don't _you_ accompany them to the root cellar and _I'll_ wait up for them," he countered.

"Because truth be told I had them pick up a surprise for you and I don't want you to see it until tomorrow."

"Why are you getting me a surprise?"

"To thank you for helping us out these last two days. It wasn't your responsibility and you really stepped up to the plate." _No pun intended._"I'll bring Wanda to you when she gets back."

Ian sighed deeply. "Okay."

I turned to Gina. "Angel, would you care to walk with me?"

Sarah and Megan were both lying on the floor on their stomachs watching TV and when I called Gina 'angel', Sarah's head snapped around. I think she initially thought I was talking to her. When Sarah's eyes caught mine, I took the opportunity to address the teens. "You two need to get to bed, too. You have school in the morning." I spoke with authority.

"Yes, sir." Megan replied. "Come on, Sarah."

Sarah got up off the floor and was clearly sulking. Gina went to the bathroom as the two girls were leaving.

"Good night, Sarah," I crooned.

She didn't reply.

"What? I don't get a hug?"

She stopped and rushed back to me to give me a hug. "I thought you didn't like me anymore."

"Don't be silly. Sleep well, little princess." I kissed her on the forehead. Gina saw the exchange between us as she exited the bathroom.

"Good night, Nate." Sarah trilled as she left.

Holly took her turn in the bathroom and Ian stayed behind to wait for her. I walked with Gina on my arm to the root cellar.

"So, are you screwing her, too?" Gina said snidely.

"She's just a kid, Gina."

"And?"

I stopped to look at her. "And we don't abuse our women. I would never make you do anything you didn't want to do. Do you understand me?" I was rather curt with her.

She looked at the ground. "Yes."

"Look at me." I cupped her chin and pulled her head up to look at me.

"I don't ever want you to feel like you can't speak your mind in front of me…or turn me down when it comes to your body. This is your body, not mine, and not anyone else's. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Come on. It's cold out here."

We entered the root cellar and it was cold. I immediately turned on the dryers for warmth. Ian and Holly followed quickly behind and I could tell that Gina wasn't happy that they returned so soon.

"I'll see you ladies in the morning."

"Aren't you sleeping in here?" Gina asked.

"I'll be here, but you will most likely be asleep by the time the others return and I get the truck unloaded." I turned to Ian. "I'll see you later."

"Count on it," Ian reassured me.

I went back to the house and I was alone. I couldn't focus on anything in particular. I finally went out and sat on the back steps. My legs were dancing because I was truly aggravated by now. _Why the hell wouldn't he call me? He knows better than that shit._ Finally the truck pulled into the driveway. I got up and sprinted to the driver's side. The window was down and my ire exploded.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Wanda was still cradled in Burns's arm and he looked down at her with a loving look. In a calm voice he replied, "Shopping."

Wanda giggled and dropped her head against Burns's shoulder.

It wasn't funny. "You couldn't call? I called you three times!"

Burns was still calm as he helped Wanda sit up. Then he replied, "Call?...Right. No, we couldn't call."

He was trying to piss me off. I fought back the only way I knew how. "Ian was about to take off looking for you. He's worried to death."

Wanda reeled in her smile immediately. "Will you take me to him?"

"I don't know why I should. He's probably asleep by now," I shot back. The three of us stomped off through the peace and quiet of the night towards the root cellar while I continued to berate the two of them for disregarding us at home. Burns sped off ahead of us to open the door in an effort to get away from my tirade.  
>I didn't let up on Wanda though. "I don't know about how you do things at the caverns, but here we are a family and I am the head of the household. I don't know what you did to Burns to make him forget that but…" I saw Ian emerge from the root cellar just as Wanda lunged at me and tried to push me away.<p>

"What gives you the right to judge what Burns and I do?" she screeched as she shoved me again. I grabbed her wrists to keep her from hitting me again. She was as furious as I was. "You are not my boyfriend. I like you, but you keep trying to screw it up. Why? Why can't you just accept…" She pulled her wrists free and turned to see Ian staring at us. She ran to Ian and desperately threw her arms around him.

He peeled her off of him and pushed her away. "What happened with Burns today?"

"Nothing! We hung out," she said innocently.

Ian looked up at me. I shook my head and walked away. I didn't know what to believe. Burns had never acted like this before. He was absolutely defiant. This soul had more power than she knew and it bothered me. She had Ian wrapped around her finger and now Burns, and if I didn't watch it, she'd have me, too.

I walked back to the truck and began to unload the perishable items. The wood and the baseball equipment would be all right here for the night.

"DO YOU HEAR THAT, NATE?" It was Wanda's voice although I have no idea what she was referring to. I carried the cooler full of perishable food into the kitchen and began putting the food away. I heard the back door slam. I knew it must be Wanda. I didn't want to face her. We were both too angry. I decided to leave through the front door to avoid her. When I reached the root cellar I realized that Burns had gone. I let myself in and didn't bother worrying about being locked in. The girl's would just assume it was locked anyway.

I didn't want to have a confrontation with Ian so I remained quiet and I climbed into my cot and rolled with my back to him.

"In the morning you're on your own," Ian muttered in the darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

**I want to thank all of you who reviewed. I love hearing from each of you. There were 2 I could not respond to. **

**TGIND – Your English is fine! You are right. If Wanda knew of Nate's antics, she probably never would have given him a second thought…but I guess that is the reason Nate likes to keep his personal life to himself.**

**Alexandraaa – I think Nate wants to do the right thing but, if he did he would be a lonely guy. At least this way he keeps himself entertained…and satisfied.**

**Keep the reviews coming guys. I love it!**

DAMAGE CONTROL

04/11/2002 – I got to sleep late last night. Usually I have complete control of my family and myself. Now it seems with the arrival of one little soul, my life is in complete turmoil. Since Wanda came to my mountain she has me doing things that I would never do. I'm plotting and planning ways to split up her and Ian and I'm pushing away the one girl on this mountain who seems to truly want me. What's wrong with me?

I need to go and see Maria. She is always so level headed. Maybe she can help me see things for what they really are. In the meantime, I did manage to do one good thing. I've managed to bring a little piece of Ian's past to the mountain. Sure, I had a motive, but I realize that he probably will love the things that Burns bought on his trip yesterday. Speaking of Burns, I am going to have to keep an eye on him and Wanda to see if feelings have developed between those two. If I am lucky enough to get her out of the grips of Ian, it would kill me to lose her to Burns.

One thing I am looking forward to is learning more about Wanda and the planets she has lived on. It should be a very interesting day.

Ian woke early and he in turn woke me. "Call Burns so I can get out of here. I'm not going to spend another day without her."

"The door's open. Burns never came to lock it that I know of."

Ian immediately crossed to the door and he opened it. "Sorry, Nate. I hope you understand," he said as he stepped into the morning light.

The thing was I did understand. I wish I didn't.

The girls woke about an hour later. Gina woke first.

"Good morning, angel."

"Hi." She sat up on the cot.

I crossed the room to where she was sitting. Holly was lying with her back to us so I took the opportunity to show Gina that she was still important to me. I placed my hand on her cheek and I leaned in slowly and kissed her. It was a closed mouth kiss since we were both sporting morning breath, but the meaning of the kiss was evident. I smiled at her as I pulled away. She smiled back.

"We need to wake Holly."

"Where's Ian?"

"He bailed first thing this morning. He's been without his lady love for two days and I think it's wearing on him."

There was a knock on the door. Burns emerged in the doorway with Maria in tow. Gina reached out and gripped my arm. Holly rolled over in response to the noise.

"Good morning. You know the family will be gathering soon to hear Wanda's stories," Burns announced.

"Right. I didn't realize it was that late. I'm sorry I yelled at you last night. I was just worried and when you didn't call me back…"

"I'm sorry, too. I was enjoying myself. Wanda's very easy to be around."

I decided to let the burning question lie. I needed to get the girls moving. "Maria, would you take Gina and Holly to the cave to get some clothes so they can shower?"

"Sure, Nathan."

"And tell the others that I will bring Wanda to the cave shortly." I tapped Gina's hand lightly for reassurance. "You'll be fine with Maria. I'll see you both in a bit."

Gina released my arm and I tapped the tip of her nose playfully before turning to join Burns.

We entered the house not sure of what we would find. What we found was Ian and Wanda caught in a lip lock. It shouldn't have bothered me, but it did and I hated that.

"Sorry about that," Burns murmured.

"Good morning, Burns." Wanda smiled at Burns.

"What? I don't get a good morning?" I demanded.

She raised her nose in the air. "Would someone please tell him that I am not speaking to him?"

I tried to reason with her. "Come on, pretty lady. Ian's back, isn't he?"

Ian blurted out. "As if you could have stopped me."

I stared at Wanda. Little did he know that I was about to separate them yet again. "Look, I hate to break up your little party here, but you have a lecture to give."

"WHAT?" She sounded upset. "You son of a…"

I cut her off. "Hup-hup. You're a lady…and your class awaits."

"Ian!" she cried.

"Don't worry. You'll knock 'em dead. I'll be right there in the front row," Ian assured her.

_You think so. I am so going to burst that bubble._

"Um. Actually, I had something planned that I think you will like," I replied to Ian.

"Sorry. I'm staying with Wanda." Ian seemed adamant.

I turned to the object of his affection knowing she would have to back me up on this. "Wanda do you want him to sit and watch you give a lecture he's already heard?" She bit her lip as she debated her answer_. I'd like to bite that lip and a few other things._

"Ian, you have to go with Nate," she answered.

"But..."

"Trust me. It will make your day."

"_You _make my day," he was pleading.

"This will make your year." She glared at me and I looked innocently at her all the while knowing that my plan worked yet again.

"Well, at least you can walk me to my class first." She put her arm through Ian's arm and led him through the door and down the steps. They caught up to Burns and she put her other arm through his in an effort to shut me out.

The other visitors from the caverns were waiting in front of the cave. Mel and Lily rushed towards Wanda. Burns and Ian both dropped their arms and backed away giving Wanda her much needed 'girl time'.

"We were wondering what happened to you," Mel called out.

"When you weren't back by nightfall we thought you and Burns had taken off," Lily chimed in.

"You know me better than that. I couldn't leave my family and I certainly couldn't leave Ian." She hugged each of them to give them reassurance.

"What time did you get in?" Lily asked.

"About midnight."

"Crap! What did Ian say?" I could barely make out the words since they had folded into each other in a tight circle.

Ian interrupted their little clutch. "Mind if I say good-bye?"

"Of course not."

Ian pulled Wanda aside. "Are you sure you want me to go?"

"I'm one hundred percent sure."

I had to look away while he made out with her. It was nauseating.

"I'll see you right here for lunch?" he asked her.

"Absolutely," Wanda replied.

Burns, Jared, Aaron, and I accompanied Ian back to the house and opened the back of the van to reveal his surprise.

"What is this?" he asked.

"Well, I know it's been a while since you played ball, but you must recognize the equipment," I said sincerely.

"You bought this stuff for me?" He seemed a bit shocked.

"Well, you were very helpful in getting Gina and Holly. I think they are transitioning nicely and I put a lot of that on you. I thought you might enjoy playing a little baseball since we have the field and all."

"This is fucking awesome!" Ian cried.

Burns continued where I left off. "And I bought some wood for a pitching stand. Nate says we can build one in no time at all."

Then Ian laid his eyes on the TV. What's that for?"  
>I turned to Burns. "What <em>is <em>that for?"

Burns smiled. "Wanda's idea. She thought everyone would be happy if we got a new flat screen TV."

She had this way about her. She thought about others and in doing so they fell at her feet.

I sighed. "Okay, why don't we get this stuff to the field and then Burns and Aaron can come back here and deal with the TV."

With that, Burns went to retrieve the wheelbarrow from the side of the root cellar. Maria came back to the house with Gina and Holly in tow.

I tipped my imaginary hat to them as they passed by us. "Ladies."

I winked at Gina and she smiled brightly.

Burns returned with the wheelbarrow, a saw, and a tool box. We loaded as much of the wood as we could into the wheelbarrow and Ian volunteered to push it to the field which was no easy feat considering the ground was so uneven in the mile walk through the woods to get to the field. Burns and Aaron carried some of the two-by-fours and I carried all the baseball equipment which was in bags as well as the tool box.

Once we reached the field and dropped everything, Ian immediately came to me and pulled a mitt from the bag. He placed it on his hand and smelled it. "Did you get oil?"

"No, I'm sorry; I didn't," Burns replied.

"It's okay. I'm just grateful that you thought of me."

"We can get some on the next trip," I reassured him.

"Grab a mitt Nate. Let's warm up the arm."

I had been planning on hearing Wanda's stories, but it seemed that I was destined to hang out with Ian. What a strange twist of fate. The four of us threw the ball around and with each throw Ian's powerful arm was evident. "Easy dude, I'm not the enemy," I joked.

Ian chuckled. "Maybe I should throw with Burns then."

Burns looked surprised. "Why am I the enemy?"

"Aren't you the reason your buddy kept me and Wanda apart?" he said in an accusatory tone.

_Wow. Didn't see that coming_.

"I don't know what you're thinking, but Wanda and I are just friends. She reminds me of my sister."

_Huh. And here I was worried_.

Ian shot me a sly look. I thought I should try to ease his fears. "Dude, I only sent you because you were there. I thought you might find it thrilling to be the rescuer of two lovely humans."

"Sorry, I just thought…"

Burns interrupted. "Well you thought wrong. I'm going back to the house to hook up the TV."

"Aaron, you want to go with him?" I suggested.

"Sure." I noticed Aaron was a pretty quiet guy. He only seemed to talk when it was necessary.

Ian, Jared, and I spent the rest of the morning working on the pitcher's stand. We were almost finished when I realized it was nearly lunch time. We decided to head back to the cave. We were surprised to find that Wanda and her buddies weren't there when we got there. We each grabbed a soda and we were about to head to the house when we saw the ladies approaching. Wanda rushed into Ian's waiting arms.

"Thank you! The stuff you got is awesome!" He hugged Wanda like he hadn't seen her in a month.

"It was all Nate's idea and Burns picked out all the equipment. Apparently I don't know the difference between a glove and a mitt. And don't even ask me about cups!" She was very animated when she spoke. Ian was beaming.

"I threw a few balls with the guys. Nate and Jared are helping me build the pitching stand. This afternoon we are going try and hit a few. You should come and watch."

Wanda's eyes were on me, but she spoke to Ian. "I would love to watch. I don't _think _I have any plans for this afternoon."

I responded for her. "No she has nothing planned, but the laundry room is free this afternoon in case you have laundry to do." What woman doesn't have laundry to do? Especially someone who's been washing clothes by hand in a pool?...In the dark?

"Tell you what. I'll come watch for a little while and then I'll run up there and do a quick load of laundry."

I sat with the group at lunch. Everyone was talking over each other. Conversations were flying in every direction. It reminded me of my high school days.

After lunch Megan and Sarah tagged along with us to the baseball field. Sarah noticed that everyone seemed to be pairing up so she took the initiative to grab my arm. Burns took Lily's arm and after much prodding by Wanda and Melanie, Aaron took Megan's arm. The girls all got comfy on the bench that I had instructed Carl and Tom to bring out last night. After a twenty minute warm up, Jared put on the catcher's gear. The rest of us went over to where the bats were lying in the grass. Ian marched out to the pitcher's mound. Jared got set in the catcher's stance. Ian took a moment. Jared was flashing fingers at Ian from between his legs. Ian nodded. He went into his wind up, lifted his knee, and that baby shot like a bullet out of his hand. The only way we knew it was caught was by the 'thud' as the ball hit Jared's mitt.

Aaron whistled. "Damn! You expect me to hit that?"

Jared bellowed. "Five bucks to the first guy to hit off him."

"We don't need your stinking money!" I retaliated in my best Spanish accent.

Burns grabbed a batting helmet. "Let's _do _this!"

Burns came up to the plate. He held out his hand to keep Ian from pitching. "Now, don't you hit me! You might kill me!" He was trying to be funny, but he was probably still a little worried that Ian might think he was trying to steal his girl. At least he was wearing a helmet.

The first pitch whizzed right past him. "Strike one!" Jared boomed. Burns swung at the second pitch, and the third, and the fourth. He hit the fifth pitch but it popped up and went behind him.

"Foul ball," Aaron bellowed. Burns looked determined. It took another four pitches before Burns belted one to right field.

Megan got up and began running as she called "I'll get it!" Jared threw Ian a new ball.

"I think I got this figured out," Burns yelled out to Ian. Ian shook his head and smiled. Ian's next pitch wasn't as fast as the others, but what it did was amazing. Just as the ball was about to cross the plate it dropped about six inches in the air. Burns was already swinging and there was no way he could compensate when the ball sank.

"What the hell was that?" Burns groaned.

Ian was still smiling. "Sorry, I just had to try it. I can't believe I can still do it. I'll go back to throwing the fast ball again."

Burns hit the very next pitch. "Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about!" He was satisfied with himself.

I was up next. I had no explanation for what he was about to do.

"Tell you what, Nate. I'll give you twenty pitches. You hit just one and you can kiss my fiancée," he said with an air of cockiness.

"Ian? Are you out of your mind?" Wanda screeched. She stood up and she was obviously pissed. "You can't tell me who I can kiss!"

He ignored her. "BUT…if you don't hit anything, I sleep in the house with Wanderer for the rest of the time we are here."

My answer was immediate. "Deal!" I had no intention on keeping them apart so I wasn't losing anything on this deal and if I got lucky and hit it…I would get a free kiss.

Pitch after pitch...I swung. _Damn!_ He was good. By the twentieth pitch I was pissed off, but I tried not to show it. I was determined to get my kiss now with or without his permission. The good thing was Wanda was pissed at Ian even though he won the bet. This could definitely work in my favor.

Ian tried to suck up by kissing her on the cheek. "At least I know where I'm sleeping tonight."

"Ugh. I'm going to do laundry," she grumbled as she turned and stomped away.

"What?" he called out with his arms outstretched.

I took the opportunity to take my leave as well. "I'm going to check on our new visitors and set them up to sleep in the cave."

I headed off in the opposite direction from Wanda although I was hoping to catch up with her before this day was over. I found Gina and Holly in the main cave playing cards with Maria and a few others.

Hey ladies, I was hoping to get you set up in here with some permanent lodgings.

Gina jumped at the chance to spend some time with me. "Can I help you?"

"Sure, angel. Megan and Sarah share a room. I think we can squeeze the two of you in with them."

Gina threw her cards in and joined me as I showed her to the room I was offering.

"You know you don't have to put me and Holly together. I told you we don't really like each other all that much."

"Why _is _that?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm not pretty enough for her."

"Why do you say that?"

"Look at me, Nate. I'm not gorgeous like some of the other girls here."

"You are far from ugly besides you are pretty on the inside. Did you know the bathroom at the house is chock full of make up and all the things a lady needs to make herself beautiful?"

"Yeah, I saw."

"Well, maybe you should go and experiment. Take Nadine with you. She loves that kind of stuff. She worked at a cosmetics counter and she was going to cosmetology school when the takeover happened."

"Thanks, but I don't really know her."

I laughed.  
>She creased her eyebrows. "What's so funny?"<p>

"You stood naked in front of me literally hours after we met and then you seduced me and you're afraid to approach Nadine?"

"It's different with guys. I know what they want."

I arched my eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

She reached down and massaged my package through my jeans. "What do you want?" she said seductively.

I backed away. "You are dangerous, you know that?"

"I'm not trying to be dangerous. I'm just trying to please you so I won't have to share a room with Holly."

"Okay, let me think about it for a bit."

"Can't I stay with you?" she pleaded.

My smile faded. "Gina, I told you I don't do relationships and it has nothing to do with your looks. I've had a few liaisons with some of the ladies here on the mountain as well as some of the other clans and I always let them know up front what the deal is. I never force sex on anyone and I will do everything in my power to please you during sex but once it's over; I'm your friend. Nothing more. I don't want to hurt you."

She was pouting and she reminded me of a child. A sexy child, but still a child.

"Okay, but I still don't want to sleep in the same room with her."

"Do you mind staying with Megan and Sarah?"

"No they aren't much younger than me, besides I like Sarah. She's sarcastic and funny."

"You know Sarah has a crush on me."

"I had a feeling after the way she said good night to you the other night."

"Well, I don't want to hurt her if she finds out about our…" I couldn't find the word.

"Relationship?" she offered.

"Friendship," I corrected her.

"Are friends allowed in your room?" she asked.

"Why, are you planning on visiting me tonight?" I joked.

"Maybe, if I'm in the mood," she said poking me in the ribs.

"Come on. I'll show you my place. It's small, but it's all mine and I intend to keep it that way." I took her by the elbow and escorted her to my room.

"Why are you the only one who sleeps alone?"

I shrugged. "I was one of the first ones here."

She plopped on my bed. "I've never had sex in a real bed before."

She was so cute in her enthusiasm. I couldn't help but jump on her. "Listen, if you want to spend a night with me, I promise I won't kick you out, but you'll be leaving before anyone else is up. It's my rule."

"I wouldn't want to intrude on one of your other lovers." There was venom in her voice.

"It's not like that. I don't get laid very often."

"Yeah, get off me Nate."

I was in the mood now. "Don't be like that."

"GET OFF ME NATE!"

I rolled off of her. "Fine!" She got up to leave and I grabbed her wrist. "I thought you were going to help me carry the mattress to your room?"

"I'll sleep in the root cellar. ALONE!"

Her attitude pissed me off. I took a deep breath and exhaled. "You know what? Sleep wherever you want. Just don't sleep here." I got up and stormed out of the cave.

_What the fuck? How am I supposed to commit to her when my head is all about Wanda? No, I need to stick to my guns. I don't need to get laid. I've had sex twice in the last week. I'm good._

I decided to head to the root cellar because I was hoping that Wanda would still be in there. I knew that seeing her beautiful face would brighten my spirits. As I approached the root cellar I could hear music playing. The door was propped open so I stepped in. Luckily the clouds were rolling in and it was easy for my eyes to adjust to the light inside. She was dancing. It made me smile.

"So, you like to dance?"

She stopped as soon as I spoke. "What are you doing here?" she asked suspiciously.

"I just came to make peace." I entered the room. "I want you to know that Ian didn't have to make that bet. I had every intention on letting him sleep in the house."

"Well, even if you had won, I wouldn't have kissed you," she stated emphatically.

I clutched my chest. "You wound me fair maiden." I acted the part of the knight who had been slighted.

"I don't mean to wound you." She sounded sincere.

"Are we friends then?"

"Yes, friends… And thank you for the baseball equipment for Ian. I know he's thrilled."

"Ah. I just came up with the idea. You and Burns did all the hard work."

A song began playing and I could tell by the look in her eyes that the song was one she liked. She began to sing it softly to herself. I put my hand out and still in character I asked, "Would you like to dance, fair Wanda?"

Before she could answer, I took her hand and pulled her gently to the center of the room. I slid my arm around her waist and drew her slender body to mine. We began to dance slowly. She kept looking at her feet.

"Keep your head up. Look at me," I commanded. We moved slowly about the room as the words 'hold on, Baby, hold on….cause it's closer than you think, and your standing on the brink…' I gazed into her eyes. She was so beautiful. If I could just kiss her…I decided there was no better moment than this. I focused on her luscious lips and turned my head slightly. She didn't back away. _Maybe she wants it too._ My lips came within an inch of hers and she balked on me. Her face was red with embarrassment.

"You lost that bet, remember?" It was Ian. He stepped into the doorway. He _must _have been watching. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. _Shit! _He spoke directly to Wanda. "I went to get my bag of clothes so I could shower and they were gone."

"I took your clothes. I washed them. I'm sorry," she blurted out. She was moving about the room erratically. She could have placed the blame solely on me and she didn't. Why?

He turned back to me. "Nate don't you have something to do besides hit on my girl?" he said calmly.

Without missing a beat, I replied. "Yes, actually I do, now that I know that Wanda is in good hands." Ian did not speak, but I could see he was fighting to remain in control. "Wanda you enjoy the rest of your afternoon." I bowed to her and slipped out the door. I had dodged a bullet, but I couldn't help but wonder if Ian hadn't showed up, if she would have let me kiss her. She waited way too long to pull away.

Even though I was angry with Gina, I decided to find Nadine to see if she would mind sharing her room with Holly. Gina couldn't fault me for at least trying to honor her request.

I found Nadine at the park sitting on a blanket reading a book while little Ben played with my niece, Priscilla. I snuck behind her and grabbed her from behind. "Boo!"

She jumped and twisted to see who her attacker was. "Jesus, Nate, you scared the crap out of me!"

"I'm sorry, princess. Is that a good book?"

"You should know. I got it from your library."

"Have you been sneaking into my room?"

"I stopped doing that a long time ago," she quipped.

I smiled. "Yeah, I miss those days."

"Is that why you came here? To ask me to be your girlfriend?"

I slid my finger along her jaw line. "Relationships lead to marriage."

"And you don't marry," she finished my sentence.

"But if you ever need…you know…a passionate evening."

"Celibacy is easier. It doesn't wear on your emotions," she said dryly.

"Point taken."

"Did you have a reason for taking me from my reading?"

"Oh, yes, I did actually. I wanted to ask a favor of you."

She chuckled. "You want a favor?"

"It's not what you think, although…" My mind drifted back to a time when Nadine worked very hard to please me.

"Nate!"

"Oh, right." I smiled at her. "I wanted to know if you would share your room with one of the new girls, Holly."

"Why me?"

I let out a deep sigh. "Well, I'm putting Gina in with Megan and Sarah since they are closer in age. You are alone with Ben, so it just makes sense."

"What are you gonna do when we run out of room?" she asked in a serious tone.

"I'll build myself a teepee and give up my room," I joked.

"And you'll still be alone," she commented.

"That's the plan. You know what they say; it doesn't wear on your emotions."

"You'll die alone," she replied.

"Princess, we all die alone." I didn't like the thought of dying. It gave me a chill down my spine. I stood up. "So you'll do it?"

"Will you ask Burns to get me some more books so I don't have to raid your library?"

"Of course, but you are welcome to my library anytime." I leaned down and put my hand on her neck and kissed the top of her head. "See you at dinner."

I took two steps and then I remembered my earlier conversation with Gina. I turned back. "Oh, one more thing. Another favor."

"I think you are about out of favors," she replied.

"You might enjoy this."

"What is it?" she asked clearly aggravated.

"The other girl, Gina. She thinks she's ugly, but she doesn't know anything about make-up. I thought maybe…"

Nadine's eyes lit up. "I'll do it."

I smiled at her. It was a heartfelt smile. "Thank you." I turned and went on my way.

Nadine was a good thing, but like all good things it had to come to an end when sneaking around became too much for her. She wanted to tell everyone of our relationship and I didn't. It caused a terrible rift between us. It took over a year for her to even speak to me again. I hated hurting her, but it was so much easier this way. Marriage and children are a responsibility I was not prepared for. I had the whole family on the mountain to think about. They all depended on me. Technically I was like a father to them all.

My next stop was Maria. She liked to take a nap in the afternoons when she wasn't on dinner duty. I chuckled to myself because she was the one who ran the kitchen and wrote the schedule and she rarely gave herself the day off. I had to order her to take two days off each week. I knocked lightly on her Japanese tri-folding screen that she used as a door.

"Come in," she called out in response to the knock.

"Hey, Maria." I entered and plopped on her bed which consisted of a mattress and a box spring on a frame. She had no head board or foot board.

"Nathan." She looked at me. "What's on your mind?"

"What makes you think something is on my mind?"

"Whenever you come in and lay on my bed like that it's usually because you are wrestling with something."

"Okay." I took a deep breath. "Do you know how many times I've had sex this week?"

"Well that depends. What do you define as sex?"

"I'm talking about man and woman, one on one."

She sat on the edge of the bed and faced me. "I don't know, but I suppose you are going to tell me."

"Twice and it was with two different women."

"Are you bragging or complaining?"

"Do you know which one I care about?"

"Both?"

"Neither."

"So, what is the problem?"

"Let me explain. At the caverns, I had random sex with a girl who just caught me off guard and dragged me to their bathing room. It's dark and it's a huge room. The whole time I fantasized about the person I _do _have feelings for. Then I came back here and Burns picked up the two new girls."

"Yes, they seem very nice."

"Gina's been raped and abused and she practically attacked me in the bathroom the first night they came. She seemed upset that I didn't want her."

"So you had sex in the bathroom," Maria concluded.

"Yes, it was good sex. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed her, but…"

"But what?"

"She is pushing for a relationship."

"Like Nadine did," she said remembering my past issues that I had discussed with her.

"Yes, and the thing is I still have these really strong feelings for someone else."

"Are you still pining over that soul?"

"What should I do?"

She chuckled. "Stay out of the bathroom."

"I keep thinking to myself that maybe Gina can help me get my mind off of Wanda…but now she's pissed at me, too. I didn't mean to hurt her, but she pushes so damn hard and then I feel guilty because of what happened to her. Just the thought of a man forcing himself into her makes me so angry. I just want to protect her any way that I can."

"And you want to treat her right," Maria concluded.

"Exactly."

"Be very careful, Nathan. A girl like that learns very quickly how to use what she has to control people. If you let your guard down she will trap you and if she does, you will be sorry for the rest of your life."

"So, I shouldn't sleep with her?"

"You're a man. You are going to do what you are going to do. I don't think that what I have to say is going to deter you one way or the other, but there is such a thing as birth control."

"And Wanda?"

"Is engaged."

"But she's not married yet," I pointed out.

"And what makes you think that she is going to dump the man she loves for the likes of you?"

"I don't know, but today in the root cellar, I came upon her and she was dancing. I danced with her and I stared into her eyes. She looked so vulnerable. I almost kissed her, but Ian showed up. I'm surprised he didn't pummel me."

"He's trying to take the high road. It might not be such a bad idea to announce a relationship with Gina to keep your ass healthy if you know what I mean."

"No. Then Wanda will assume that I don't want her and…" I sighed deeply, "I can't get her out of my freaking head. What's wrong with me?"

Maria smiled. "If you don't know then I'm not going to tell you."

"No, I'm not in love. I don't fall in love. I'm in lust. That's it. I just want to bed a soul."

"Well, Ian is a big guy, be careful what you wish for. It might be your last wish."

I took another deep breath and folded my arms behind my head and closed my eyes.

She stroked my hair for a minute and then spoke. "Now get out of my room before people think you are sleeping with me."

"Aw Maria, you know I think you're beautiful, but you are like a mother to me. Incest is _not _best." I sat up and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks for letting me bend your ear."

I left Maria's room still unclear of what I should do. Maria was right. If I was thinking with my head I would avoid Gina at all costs and I would leave Wanda to her relationship with Ian. The problem was I wasn't thinking with my head, at least not the one that was sitting on my shoulders.

I finally made the decision to leave the Gina issue in her hands. She knew I wouldn't turn her down if she came to me although my last words to her were 'Sleep wherever you want. Just don't sleep here.' I slapped myself in the forehead. _Shit! _

At dinner I noticed that Gina remained at a distance. She ate with Nadine. I could only assume that Nadine had gone to her and attempted to make friends after our conversation. I ate quickly because I still needed to put bedding in Nadine's room for Holly and bedding in Sarah's room for Gina. I spied Sarah finishing her meal. She'd be the perfect helper for the simple fact that she would do anything to spend time with me. I approached her with my hands in my pocket. I sat next to her.

"Hey, princess. How would you like to help me with something after dinner?"

"Are you kidding? I would love to! What do you need me for?"

"Well, the new girls are going to start sleeping in the cave tonight. I thought you might help me put the bedding in there for them."

"Okay, but would you come to the house and watch the movie with me afterwards?"

"Sure." I gave her my most pleasant smile.

Sarah helped me drag the mattresses into each room. I got spare sheets from my room and Sarah made Holly's bed and I made Gina's. I wrote a note and left it on Gina's bed. It simply read: 'Your wish has been granted. Sleep well.'

Sarah and I arrived a few minutes late and the movie had already started. I grabbed a few chairs from the kitchen and Sarah and I sat behind the couch. I noticed Gina wasn't around and I actually breathed a sigh of relief. Sarah seemed very fidgety. I put my arm around her neck and whispered, "I thought you wanted to watch this movie?"

"I do," she whispered back.

"Then stop fidgeting." I pulled her under my arm and she laid her head on my chest. I figured I should enjoy the crush while it lasted. Another year and she would be running after the likes of Blake or Carlos and I would just be an old man in her eyes.

When the movie was over, the party went into full swing. I continued to give Sarah the attention she craved since it was safe, but I kept my eye on Wanda. I wondered what had been said after I left the root cellar. I owed her an apology. When I saw her go into the kitchen alone I decided I had my opening. I approached her quickly before Ian had a chance to enter the room. I leaned close.

"Is everything okay with you?"

"Yeah, everything is fine." She didn't sound at all convincing.

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened this afternoon. I was out of line."

"I didn't _have_ to dance with you," she replied.

"I didn't give you a choice."

"It's too late now. Let's just forget about it," she said in her soft, sweet voice.

_Why does she make me feel this way?_ I wanted to kiss her. I thought better of it and left the room. She wasn't angry with me and that meant a lot.

I sauntered up to Burns and Jared who were deep in conversation about the possibility of the two clans keeping in touch. Jared immediately included me in the subject at hand. "What if we got Wanda her own phone?"

"It doesn't work in the caverns. I tried when we were there."

"But it will work in the desert," Jared said with hope in his voice.

"Yes, I was able to call from the garage. I think it's because the opening faces a tower."

"Perfect. You think it will be all right if Burns takes her to get one tomorrow?"

"Sure. I wanted him to go into town anyway."

"For what?" Burns asked.

"Well, I was thinking that with all the extra people here that we could have a real baseball game. We only have six gloves. We could use at least three more and baseball hats. What do you think?"

"I think it's great, but what am I supposed to say is my reason for buying all those hats?"

"I don't know. It was just a thought."

"I'll see what I can do. I'm going to walk Lily back to the cave."

I turned my head. "You and Lily?"

"Don't jinx me," he replied.

_Well, I'll be damned. He got himself a human, and a pretty one, too._

That night I climbed into my bed. I was tired from the day's ups and downs. At least Wanda was still talking to me and I hoped that my note to Gina did some damage control on that front.


	6. Chapter 6

**HAPPY SUMMER! I have to say I was a bit disappointed in the number of reviews I got for this last chapter considering it was a rather long chapter by my standards. This chapter is much shorter. The few reviews I did get were fantastic. **

**Alexandraaa, since I can't PM you, I wanted to say that I like things you say and I'm glad that you understand Nate's needs.**

**Lila, are you seriously trying to kill me? I don't think I'd have the strength to write it from Ian's point of view.**

**Anyway, I hope all who read will drop me a review because I have a lot going on with For the Love of Brynn and it would be really easy right now to drop this story. It is you, the reader, who keeps me plotting and planning Nate's next move during the wee hours of the night when I have to get up for work the next morning…**

WIN SOME, LOSE SOME

04/12/2002 – Yesterday was a most interesting day. I managed to piss off the two women I care about in my life. Well. Wanda didn't really seem pissed, more like flustered. Maybe she didn't want to kiss me, but it sure felt like she did. I may have screwed up a good thing with Gina, but I suppose it was better to nip it in the bud rather than to lay the emotional hurt on Gina like I did to Nadine. Nadine and I were together, and I only say that because of the lack of any other word, for more than a year.

I've had a good night's sleep, and I've decided that I am going to take Maria's advice and steer clear of both girls. It's the only way to keep my sanity.

I'm looking forward to the baseball game. I think if I can get Burns on my team, we might be able to win.

The morning went by swiftly. I didn't see much of Wanda because she was in town with Burns. I didn't see much of Gina, either. I was starting to worry. It was almost lunch, when I spied her sitting on a swing in the play park reading a book. She didn't see me, so I decided to go on my way.

There was a great turnout at the field for the game. It seemed that just about everyone who lived on the mountain was there. It had already been established that Ian and I were the captains. It also had been established that Ian was _not_ allowed to pitch. Boys had to pitch for boys, and girls had to pitch for girls. We did 'rock, paper, scissors' to see who would choose first. Thankfully, I won. My first choice was Burns. Ian chose Jared. I chose Aaron because he had power and I was hoping he might hit a home run. Ian chose Evan, probably because he had seen him play soccer. I chose Rob; since I knew he could play. Ian chose Tom. It made sense that all the men would be chosen first, but then I had the most brilliant idea. I needed to screw with Ian's head and what better way than to take his woman on my team. I chose Wanda ahead of four guys. Ian looked perturbed at my choice. Ian chose Blake, Hector, Melanie, Rachel, and last was Sarah. I chose Carlos, Carl, Lily, and Megan. Each team had fifteen minutes to warm up and strategize. I decided that Aaron would pitch for the guys and Lily would pitch for the girls. Burns played short. I played first and I purposely kept Wanda close to me by putting her on second. Lily played third. Carlos, who was young and wiry, was catcher. Carl, Rob, and Megan played outfield. Nadine and Kim were the referees. Nadine called balls and strikes. Kim refereed the bases.

Before the game started I pulled Wanda aside. "You know, there's only one way I can beat him, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I need to get inside his head. I need _you _to get inside his head."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Tease him."

"What?"

"Tease him. Show him a little skin when he comes up to bat. If he's distracted enough, he might strike out."

She shook her head. "I don't know, Nate."

"It's just a game. Don't do anything until I give you the signal."

"What signal is that?"

"I'll nod my head at you."

"Okay," she replied still sounding unsure.

"He's gonna slay us if you don't do this."

"He might slay me if I do," she replied.

"No, he won't. Alls fair in the game of baseball."

Jared came up to bat first. He hit a grounder to Lily. She was able to field it, but her arm wasn't good enough to reach me at first. Jared was safe. Blake was up second. He hit a pop fly right to me at first base. It was an easy out. Melanie was up next. Lily and Aaron switched places. Lily was allowed to stand about three feet closer to pitch. She was actually pretty good. She struck out Melanie, although Mel did hit two foul balls. Jared managed to steal second while Mel was up. Then, Ian was up.

I nodded my head to Wanda. She was wearing pink sweats and a white tank top with spaghetti straps. She rolled her sweats down to her hips and folded her top up and shoved it under the bottom part of her bra exposing her entire mid drift. I was so busy watching her, that I never even saw Aaron throw the first pitch. I could feel my dick start to harden at the sight of her beautiful skin.

"Strike one!" Nadine called.

Nadine's call brought me back to reality. I grinned evilly at Ian.

I tried to watch only Ian, but Wanda was doing this thing with her hips. It reminded me of a slow grind. _Fuck! She's making me hard._ Ian swung, but he clearly wasn't focused on the ball, either.

"Strike Two!" Nadine called.

Now Ian stepped out of the batters box and leaned on his bat. "What are you doing?" he directed his question at Wanda.

"Me?" she said innocently. God, I just wanted to snap her up and run off with her.

"Ref? Is this a clothing optional game?"

Nadine clarified, "She looks dressed to me. Play ball!"

I couldn't contain my snicker.

Ian growled loud enough for the infield to hear.

The next ball came in fast and Ian connected with all his might. Carl was in right field, but it went way over his head. It was a home run. _Damn it! _As Ian crossed home plate he pointed his finger to me. "Nice try." Sarah was up next and she hit a ground ball to the pitcher, which was Lily, and she threw her out at first. So, they scored two runs in the first inning. The best part was Wanda was still in a state of semi-undress.

Now, we were up. Aaron was up first. He hit a ground ball past Melanie at second and was safe at first. Carlos slammed a line drive that should have been a base hit, but Ian dove towards third base and caught it before it could get by. Aaron was almost to second base before he realized that he needed to get back. Ian popped to his knees and drilled it to Jared. It was a double play. Megan was up next. Rachel pitched. Megan's hit was quite the surprise. She hit it just short of her buddy, Sarah. Sarah waited for the ball to drop before she picked it up and threw it to Ian. Megan was safe at first. Next up on our team was Burns. I knew that Burns could hit because he hit two of Ian's pitches yesterday. Everyone backed up. Sure enough, the very first pitch, Burns slammed it to centerfield. It was just over Evan's head, but he was on it. Megan made it all the way home, and Burns ended up on second. Carl was up next. He hit the ball to Melanie, but Carl was not a fast runner. She took her time with the throw to make sure she was on target and Carl was out at first.

So, at the end of the first inning, it was two to one. In the second inning the other team scored another run before Burns caught Blake's hit for the third out.

At the bottom of the second inning, we were down by two runs and we knew in the next inning, Ian would be coming up to bat again. So, we had to score some runs to stay in the game. Lily was up first. Rachel walked her. Next was Rob. He hit a ground ball to Hector on third base. Hector threw it to second, and Lily was out on a force play. I was up next. I had a full count and then my Irish luck kicked in. I hit a nice one down the first base line, but it was too high for Jared to snag it. I was safe at first, and Rob was on third. Now Wanda was up. I figured she would be an easy out. She had one strike and two balls and then she bunted! I couldn't believe it! _She friggin' bunted!_ I took off like a bat out of hell. Rachel who was pitching didn't even try to throw Wanda out a first. She was more worried about the runner on third who wasn't going anywhere. Now, the bases were loaded. We were back to the top of the line up. Aaron was up. Rachel went back to right field and Blake came in to pitch. Aaron hit the ball in the same place as before. It went right over Melanie's head and Rachel was having a hard time getting to it. We all took off running. Rob came home, I came home, and I was waving Wanda to come home, too. It was a race to see who would get there first. I only hoped that she knew how to slide.

"Safe!" Nadine called. She was so excited that she ran straight to me jumped into my arms. She wrapped her legs around my waist and we were hooting and howling in victory. It felt great to have her in my arms. Thankfully, my hard-on had waned or she would have definitely known what I was feeling. I decided to put her down before those feelings resurfaced. We sat next to each other on the bench.

Carlos was up next and his fly ball went over Ian's head; but Ian jumped like a friggin' kangaroo and snagged the catch. He released the ball to Hector at third to try and get the double play, but Aaron made it back in time. Megan didn't get lucky this time. She was struck out, and that retired the side. We were winning four to three.

Top of the third, Melanie was walked. Ian came up to bat. He glared at me. Everyone backed up. It was no surprise when Ian slammed it for a two base hit. Melanie came home and tied it up.

The rest of the game went on without incident until the bottom of the sixth inning. I was on second base. Wanda struck out, and Carlos was up. He hit a short grounder to Ian who decided at that moment to exact his revenge on me. Instead of going for the out at first, he threw it towards the third baseman. Only he didn't. He threw it right at my thigh. When the ball hit, I went down like a ton of bricks. It was like I had gotten shot in the back of my leg. _FUCK! Man, that hurts like a bitch! _I was writhing on the ground holding onto my thigh.

"Nate!" Wanda cried. She ran to me and kneeled on the ground. "Damn him," she said quietly. She pulled my head onto her knees and stroked my head as I moaned in pain. I looked up at Ian who was just standing there with a shit eaten grin on his face. "What the hell is your problem?" Wanda demanded.

Ian shrugged. "It was a bad throw."

"Do you still have the 'No Pain'?" she asked.

He reached in his pocket and tossed it on the ground. She grabbed the container and opened it.

"Come on, Nate. Take some of this. It will help." I felt better immediately. "Do you think it's broken?" she asked.

"No, I think he just bruised the muscle."

"I don't have any heal with me. It's back at the house," she lamented.

"It's okay. We'll do it later." I got up and walked to the bench. I wasn't limping because I wasn't feeling the pain, but Wanda encouraged me to sit for a bit. Rob took my place as base runner.

The rest of the game went without a hitch. Ian's team won the game ten to eight, but I came up smelling like roses. It was perfect. Wanda was angry at Ian. I thought at this point I would leave well enough alone. It was Gina who came to me after the game.

"Do you need help?"

"If you don't mind."

I wasn't in pain, but it was a good way to get back in her good graces, and everyone would just think she was doing a good deed. She wrapped her arm around my waist and I reciprocated by draping my arm across her shoulders.

"You should have won. You would have, too, if that big ape didn't beam you with the ball."

Gina walked me to my room. I plopped on the bed.

"Thank you. I think I'm going to take a nap."

"Okay, I hope you feel better. I know what it's like to be beat up. It sucks."

There, she did it again. I felt bad for her. I had 'no pain' to help me. She had nothing. I wondered how many nights she spent battered and bruised wondering what she had done to deserve it.

"Thank you, Gina."

She smiled weakly and left my room.

I slept peacefully for two full hours. After dinner, I went to the house to see about getting some 'Heal'. I didn't want to have the pain come back before I had the chance to heal my injuries.

Wanda returned from her room with the tiny spray bottle and instructed me to spray it directly on the site of the bruise. The bathroom was in use, so she allowed me to use her bedroom. When I finished, I came out and thanked her. I noticed Ian wasn't around and she seemed a bit on edge. I sat in the chair furthest from her because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

She just stared at the television. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. I hoped she might be the one to start the conversation.

After a few minutes, Ian came in the back door. He looked at the two of us and just shook his head.

Wanda jumped off the couch. "Do you want me to heat up your food?"

"I really just want to take a shower," he said flatly.

"You can't. Jared and Mel are in the Jacuzzi."

"Fine, I'll eat," he grumbled. As she stepped towards the kitchen, I got up to address Ian.

"Ian, I want you to know that what happened today, well, that was purely a reaction."

"Is that so?" He sat on the couch where Wanda had been sitting. He waited for Wanda to go into the kitchen before he spoke again. "You know it's funny that every time I look for Wanderer, she's with you. Can you explain that?"

"Coincidence?"

"Huh." There was another long pause. "You know what else is funny?"

"No. What else is funny?"

"Every time I find you together, _she _looks guilty. Can you explain that?"

"No. She hasn't done anything to feel guilty about."

"Huh." Ian got up. "Tell Wanderer, I'm not hungry." He went into the bedroom and shut the door.

Wanda immediately came out of the kitchen. She looked panicked. She spun around and went back to the kitchen and I followed her. She continued out the front door. I wasn't sure what to do. Then I heard her screaming at the top of her lungs. I rushed out the door to see if I could help in any way.

"Go!" She yelled without looking at me. I went back inside.

Ian was losing it, and I didn't know how to feel about it. On the one hand I was happy because maybe their relationship would come to an end, and in that case, I would be there for her. On the other hand, she looked so hurt. How could I destroy her happiness for my own?

I left the house and went back to my room. I wasn't tired, so I pulled a book from my library and laid back on the bed to read.

I read a few chapters of Braham Stoker's Dracula when there was a light knock on my door that I had molded to fit the entrance to my room. It was more round than square. It reminded me of a door one would see in a Hobbit house. It was almost midnight.

I put my book down and slid off the bed. I opened the door to find Gina on the other side. I noticed immediately that she was wearing makeup. She didn't look so plain anymore. She was almost pretty.

"Hi. I came to check on you...to make sure you were all right."

"Come in."

She entered my room and I shut the door.

"It's late," I reminded her.

"I know. I didn't want to come until I was sure that Megan and Sarah were asleep."

I wasn't sure how to take that, but the fact that she was here was a good sign.

"How's your leg?" she asked.

"That's kind of a loaded question. Don't you think?" I said in jest.

She ignored me and walked towards the bed. She picked up my book. "Dracula. I always wanted to read it, but my mother said it would give me nightmares."

"You can borrow it anytime."

I put my hand under her chin and turned her face to mine. "You look very pretty tonight."

The blood rose into her face immediately.

"You're blushing. You don't like compliments?"

"I'm…not used to them."

"Oh, come on. It's easy. I'll show you. Go ahead, compliment me."

I figured she would say something about my looks or my personality. I wasn't expecting the compliment I got.

"Nate, you are the most gentle, caring, and exciting lover I've ever had and I've had a lot of them."

My face turned red because not only was I flattered, but the fact that she had a lot of lovers cut me like a knife.

"Nate, you're blushing. Don't you know how much I want to feel you inside me?"

_Wow, this is your chance, Nate. Don't blow it._

"I'm a good lover because you make me want to please you."

"Let me please you tonight." With that she reached for my zipper and undid my pants.

"Gina, you don't have to do that," I assured her.

"I want to."

She got on her knees and pulled my pants down. Just the thought of what she was going to do had my penis aching to be free.

She went right to work like a pro. I felt conflicted. I loved what she was doing, but I wondered if she did these things in the past, so she wouldn't be abused. I did everything in my power not to grab her head and force her to take me deeper. I threw my head back and enjoyed what she was doing. As my guilt began to take hold I looked down at her and spoke softly. "Let me make love to you."

She shook her head back and forth and continued. _Fuck! She's good._

A few minutes later and she had me. I warned her of my impending climax, but she didn't pull away as every other girl that had ever given me a blow job had done. She laid her tongue over the tip of my cock and I exploded into her mouth. She took it all. I was in shock.

She slowly pulled my cock from her lips. She looked down. "I'm sorry. I spilled some on the floor. I didn't mean to."

_Was she kidding? She had just done the most amazing thing and she was apologizing for allowing a little jism to slip from her lips?_ I was a goner. Right now, I would have killed for her.

I pulled her to her feet. "Gina, angel." My eyes welled up with tears.

"Nate, why are you crying? Did I do it wrong?"

I pulled her into my arms. I put my lips to her ear. "I'm crying the tears that you refuse to cry for yourself."

"I've cried Nate. I cried today at the thought of losing you."

"Gina, I'm always here for you. I can't predict my future or yours for that matter. I want to be truthful to you. I love spending time with you. I love the look on your face when you are enjoying the pleasure of having me inside of you…but…"

Her face dropped. "But what?" she asked as she backed away from me. "You think I'm ugly."

I reached down and pulled my pants up. "No, never. It's just that before you came here…I have these feelings for someone. I can't explain it. I can't even rationalize it. I only know that as much as I like being with you, I can't give you the commitment you want."

"Who is she?"

"That's the crazy part. She's already taken."

"Then walk away," she said bluntly.

"I wish I could. I told myself I'd walk away from both of you." I chuckled weakly. "And look at me. I'm scared to death that you'll hate me and walk out that door thinking that I'm as big a monster as those others that raped you."

The tears pooled in her eyes and the first huge tear slid down her cheek.

"I have to go." She turned quickly towards the door.

I blocked her from leaving. "Gina, I don't want you to go."

"You'll never love me," she croaked.

"I do love you and I respect and admire you. I'm just not 'in love' with you."

I scooped her off of her feet and into my arms.

"Nate, put me down."

"I will."

I laid her on my bed. "I don't want to have sex with you," she pleaded.

"You don't have to. Just let me hold you. Isn't that why you came in here in the first place? You didn't want sex. You wanted someone to care about you. I care about you, Gina." I laid on the bed and engulfed her in my arms. She cried for a long time. I wondered if the tears were for me or for the heartache she had endured in the last six years.

"You want to get under the blankets?" I asked.

She nodded her head. I lifted the blanket and the two of us got underneath. She snuggled into my chest, and although we were both fully clothed, it was still nice to have the kind of closeness that I hadn't shared since my days with Nadine.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm cranky, so I'll just post and keep my mouth shut.**

CHOICES

04/13/2002 – I broke my number one rule last night. I let Gina spend the night with me, and she wouldn't let me make love to her. She satisfied me, though. I care about her, and that worries me. Maria warned me not to let her get under my skin, but I think it may be too late. She is lying next to me now and sleeping peacefully. I only hope that the entire mountain doesn't catch wind of our relationship. As much as I hate to admit it, it is becoming a relationship.

As for Wanda, I've decided to back off and give her the time she needs to make things right with Ian. I suppose they belong together. At any rate, my guests from the caverns are leaving tomorrow. Wanda will be giving one more lecture this morning, so as much as I hate to wake this angel sleeping next to me, I want to make it to that lecture. I want to learn as much as I can about the places she's seen, and the different species she has become a part of.

"Gina, sweetheart, wake up."

"Is it five o'clock already?"

"No, it's almost nine."

"Shoot! I was supposed to get up before morning. Why didn't you set your alarm for me?"

"It's okay. Just take a book when you go. If anyone questions you, tell them you stopped by to borrow a book."

"You've done this before," she surmised.

"Once or twice," I admitted. "Do you feel better this morning?"

"Am I supposed to? You admitted you have feelings for some girl, who's taken, and yet I've given you everything I have to give, and we are just friends."

"Someone once told me, 'celibacy is easier. It doesn't wear on your emotions'."

"You could say the same for death."

"I suppose that's true, but everyone one of us on this mountain is a fighter and would never choose death if given the choice."

"Right, so why would I choose celibacy?"

I leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. "Thank you for last night, but in the future, I don't want to you to please me unless you want to be pleased in return. You got that?"

"So, are you telling me I can come back?"

"I never said you couldn't come to me."

"Um…'I don't care where you sleep, just don't sleep here.' That sounds a lot like you didn't want me to come here."

"I was angry and frustrated. I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted."

"Listen, I have to attend to this morning's lecture. My guests from the caverns are leaving tomorrow, so I will be extremely busy today. I don't want you to feel that I am ignoring you on purpose, okay?"

"Okay. I'll wait for you to let me know when you want to see me."

"Thank you."

"Just don't make me wait forever," she added.

"I won't." I leaned in and kissed her lips. "Bye."

I left her in my bed. I didn't have time to go to the house, so I used the outhouse and brushed my teeth using the water that had been brought to the dishwashing area just outside the cave. I returned to the main cave just as the family was beginning to gather. Melanie, Jared, and Aaron were there, and I was told that Lily had gone to the house. Apparently, she and Burns were really hitting it off. I was about to go to the house to retrieve Wanda when she arrived with Lily. I smiled at them as they entered the main cave. Wanda looked beautiful, but there was something off. The fact that Ian was not with her did not go unnoticed. Burns was missing as well. I had to assume that he was with Ian at the baseball field. After all, this was his last day to enjoy the outdoors, for tomorrow they would be leaving.

I stepped up to the podium and gave my little speech thanking our guests for coming to visit us on the mountain and inviting them to return again soon. Then, I introduced Wanda as I had done days ago, and she stepped up to the podium.

"Are you okay?' I asked her quickly and quietly.

"Yes, I'm fine," she answered as she took her spot at the big rock. She seemed comfortable this time around. She spoke about a world in which she described the inhabitants as bat-like creatures that did not have the luxury of sight, however, they had beautiful voices, and they spent their lives singing joyous songs. She told us that many souls chose this planet as their home because it was one of peace and harmony.

She continued her speech with her experiences on earth. She lamented over the fact that humans were so passionate about life, and she felt her species had not done enough research before invading the planet. She said that if they had, in her opinion, they may have left us in peace. She ended her lecture in tears because she said that even with all the controversy, she was happy she had come here because if given the choice of all nine planets she had visited, this life was the one she would choose, because she had found love. She clarified that it wasn't just her love for Ian, but her love for all of the humans she had come in contact with because in her eyes, each of us was special in our own right. The crowd converged on her and tried to comfort her. Many told her they were happy that she was here, and they didn't blame her for the atrocities that have happened since that fateful day.

I tried to make my way through the crowd, and I was met by Lily, who dragged me back in the opposite direction.

"Nate, stay away from her," Lily say adamantly.

"Why?"

"She doesn't want to see you."

I shook my head. "I don't understand."

"Let's just say she is trying to find Ian. He was gone when she got up this morning."

I watched her exit the cave and head towards the baseball field.

"Just leave her be. Okay?" Lily didn't wait for my response. She backed away from me, turned, and began jogging towards Wanda. My heart was pounding at the thought that she didn't want to have anything to do with me. I heeded Lily's words. I went inside the cave to my room and collapsed on my bed. I stared at the ceiling for what seemed like an hour. Finally, I talked myself into doing something productive. I went to the store room and did the inventory that I had been neglecting over the last several days. I was almost done when Burns found me.

"We need to talk."

"I'm backing off!" I said in my defense.

"Ian's not going back."

"What?" I wasn't sure I heard him right.

"Ian, he asked me if he could stay on the mountain in my house. He thinks that Wanda doesn't love him, and he wants her to go back and think about what she really wants."

"Because of me?" I couldn't believe it.

"Because of you."

"Shit!"

He was stoic. "I thought you'd be happy. Isn't this what you wanted?"

"No! I mean, I don't know! I admit she intrigues me like no one ever has in my life, but I don't want to tear them apart if he's what she wants." I put my hands on my head. "Burns, I'm so confused!"

"You've never felt this way about anyone, have you?"

"Damn it!"

I brushed my hair back with my hands as I tried to sort out this news. "Maybe, if I stay out of the way, he'll change his mind."

"You know you are my best friend, but I have to tell you, if she decides that you are what she wants, and you don't marry her, I will kick you off my land. That's a promise."

I sighed deeply.

"Do you hear me?" he pressed.

"I hear you," I swallowed. "I'm going to my room."

"You do that."

I vacated the storeroom and headed to my room. I shut the door and didn't bother to turn on the lamp. I laid on my stomach across my bed with my head hanging off the over side, and I stared into the blackness. On the one hand, I imagined a life with Wanda. She was so beautiful both inside and out. I could see me waking up to her smile, and I knew if given the chance I would do anything to please her. On the other hand, I saw her looking tortured…missing Ian. Once she had gotten over her initial anger with Ian at the caverns, she had done nothing but fight to keep his attention. I knew that whatever she might feel for me was negligible, compared to what she felt for Ian. I couldn't destroy her for my own petty fantasies.

The dinner hour had passed, and I don't know how long I lay there before sleep finally took me, but it was Ian who woke me in the early hours of morning.

The knock on the door pulled me from my slumber. I assumed it would be Gina.

"Come in."

The door slowly opened, and I heard Ian's voice as I leaned over to turn on the lamp. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." I replied not sure of what to expect.

I was still dressed, so I threw off the blanket that I had managed to wrap myself in sometime during the night.

"Would you like to take a walk?" I offered.

"That might be best," he replied.

I ran my fingers through my hair in an effort to look presentable, should I run into someone, although it was still very early. We walked in the brisk morning air as the sun's rays slowly greeted the new day. Ian was unusually calm.

"I met Wanderer when she was trapped inside Melanie's body. I say trapped, because Melanie loved Jared, and Wanderer was limited as to what she could show me in the way of affection. When she was finally released, and Jamie chose the body she now inhabits, I thought I was home free, but I see that's not the case. She seems to have a thing for you. It haunts me because I would never want her to feel that she had to be with me because she has a choice. But before I send her away, I need to know if you have these same feelings for her. I wouldn't want her to be hurt. She's been through so much already."

I stopped and stared at the ground. "You want the truth?"

"That's all I'm asking for."

"I've never had anyone affect me the way she does. I can't explain it. I've told myself time and time again to back off because she's already taken, but when I see her…I don't know…my logic seems to go right out the window."

"I see."

I looked up at him. "Is it that way with you?"

"Go back to the caverns with her." He turned and walked away.

"Ian?"

He didn't turn back. "IAN! IT'S YOU SHE WANTS!" I called out.

_Fuck! Idiot! Why didn't you just lie?_

I returned to my room, and I grabbed my toothbrush and a change of clothes. I headed for the house in the hopes I might catch Ian and talk him out of staying. I entered the back door, and it was quiet. I listened at the door to Ian and Wanda's room, and it, too, was quiet. I turned the knob, and it was unlocked. I peaked into the room, and Wanda was asleep. Ian was not in the room. I gently closed the door and took the opportunity to shower and brush my teeth.

Now that I was clean and refreshed, I took off in pursuit of Ian. I went to the field assuming he would seek the solace of the pitcher's mound. He wasn't there. I immediately headed for the cave in hopes that he may have gone to seek out his family to say good-bye. He wasn't there, either. None of the others were there. I must have missed them while I was at the field.

As I approached the house, I could see that Jared was slamming the bags into the back of the van. Melanie was trying to calm him. Lily was crying, and poor Burns just looked lost. I could only assume the news was not sitting well with the cavern dwellers. I didn't see Ian among them, so I bypassed them all and went directly into the house. I knocked on the bedroom door.

The door opened, and I was face to face with the one woman on this planet who had managed to invade my head in a way I couldn't explain.

"Can I come in?"

She stepped back allowing me access. Our eyes met, and she quickly turned away and went about packing her things. I closed the door gently. It was only at that precise moment that I decided I wanted this. He was giving me my chance and I wanted it.

"I think that Ian is making a good decision," I said barely above a whisper.

"Do you?" She was clearly upset.

"I do." I walked to her and turned her slowly around to face me. "You can't deny the chemistry between us. I know _I _feel it every time I'm near you."

She looked into my eyes. She was so beautiful, and yet she seemed so sad.

"Kiss me," she said flatly.

"What?" Again, I wasn't sure of what I heard.

"I want you to kiss me, Nate. Ian is gone. There's no reason for you _not_ to kiss me," she demanded.

Maybe she was angry with Ian, and she was hoping he would barge in and claim his territory. I wasn't sure this was the right time for this. I hesitated. "Maybe you should give it a little time."

"Okay, then dance with me." She went to the CD player and a moment later the song we had danced to in the root cellar was playing. She returned to me and bit her lower lip as she looked up at me. I wrapped my arms around her waist. We started to dance. I looked deeply into her eyes trying to decide if she really wanted this. I knew I really wanted it.

"You know I never thought this could happen. I wanted it to, but I never thought …" Now it was me biting my lower lip because I knew I was going to kiss her. I couldn't hold back. Her ruby lips were so inviting. She pulled her arm from around my neck and brushed her fingers softly across my lips. I closed my eyes. She leaned in and gently pressed her lips to mine. I returned her kiss. It was soft and gentle, but I wanted more. I was committed now, so I allowed my feelings for her to come full force. I pushed my tongue into her mouth and tasted her sweetness. Her lips were fuller than Gina and Nadine's and I was relishing the fact that she seemed to be enjoying this kiss as well. She grabbed my hair in her fist and pulled me tighter to her body. I could feel the tension erupting in my pants. God, I wanted her. I was afraid she would feel my excitement, so I ended the kiss and stepped back. I kept my hands on her arms, and I searched her eyes for the same satisfaction I was feeling. She was quiet. _Say something._

She finally spoke. "Nate." She paused briefly. "That was nice." _Thank god_. I pulled her into a hug. "But …" I froze when I heard the dreaded 'but'. "Nate, I love you. I can't deny that I feel love for you. You are cute, and funny, and witty, and even sexy but …"

I knew what she was about to say because I had said the same thing many times before. "But you are not _in love_ with me."

"No."

"But it was only a first kiss. Maybe after a few days…"

She didn't let me finish. "Nate, after the build up over the last few days this kiss should have been, well, you know."

Again, I felt like she was saying my lines. "Mind boggling."

"Yes."

I drew in a deep breath and exhaled. "So, I guess there is no need for me to go back with you to the caverns."

"No."

"Do you want me to go tell Ian?"

"Not right now. You can tell him after I'm gone."

"Don't you want him to go back with you?"

"I do, but he won't." She stepped forward and hugged me. "He needs time."

I buried my face in her hair. "I'll miss you," I said sincerely. The truth was I wanted to go with her back to the caverns, but I wouldn't unless asked.

"I'll miss you, too. I was really starting to learn your scheming ways."

I pulled back and smiled. "Really?"

She grinned at me, and my heart melted. "Really. You know I engineered the whole thing between Burns and Lily."

"So, that was you, huh?"

Suddenly, she looked panicked. "Oh! Lily!"

"What?" I was at a loss as to why she seemed upset about Lily.

"She will be sad, too. She is leaving Burns!"

Again, she had shown the compassion I had seen so often. "Yeah, I saw some tears this morning. This day seems to be hard all around."

"Promise me something?"

"If I can."

"Promise me that you will take care of Ian and Burns? And that you'll call me and tell me how Ian is doing?"

"Who's going to take care of me?" I realized how selfish it sounded as soon as the words came out.

"Nate, you are the craftiest person I know. That's why you are the leader here. I know there is someone out there willing to take care of you. Sarah loves you to death."

"She's fourteen!"

"Okay, well maybe not Sarah. But it will happen, I know it will. You are too great of a guy. Your twenty first girl will come along."

"Huh?"

"I'll tell you about it the first time you call me."

They say when God closes a door, he opens a window. I knew that Gina had been brought to me for a reason. She would be my solace in all this, if she would have me. It was the first time I had thought about her since the morning I left her in my bed. Come to think of it, I really hadn't seen her yesterday. I heard the van door slam, and it brought my attention to the window.

"Are you ready to go? They are all waiting on you."

"No. I'll never be ready to leave Ian behind." She handed her bag to me, and she turned off the music that was still playing and scooped the CD player under her arm. She gently slipped her hand in mine, and I led her out to the crowd gathered outside.

Burns practically ran to her. "Are you going to be all right to drive? It's daylight, and you have to go through the center of town."

"Yes, I can drive for a bit," she said bravely.

"Good. Wanda, take care of Lily, okay?"

She threw her arms around Burns's neck and began to cry. "I'll miss you 'big brother'.

"I'll miss you too, 'little sis'." As he pulled away, he was wiping his eyes.

"Take care of Ian for me. Let him know that I love him. No, tell him that I am 'in love' with him. Tell him every day." She backed away from him and climbed into the truck. She was a mess. I needed to do _something_. I opened the door and took her into my arms.

"It's okay. Shhhh. It's okay. You'll see him again. Remember that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, and when you and Ian get back together it will never be broken again. Now get your ass in gear and go home to your family."

"Thank you." She kissed me on the cheek and closed the door. Although she started the van, she still couldn't bring herself to pull away for another five minutes. In my heart I hoped she wouldn't go, but eventually, she put the van in drive and slowly pulled away.

I had to find Ian. I had to let him know that Wanda had chosen him and offer him the choice of returning to the cavern to be with her. Burns told me that he went to the baseball field. I saw him as I entered the backfield. He was throwing pitch after pitch.

"IAN!" I called out as I approached him. He stopped and turned when he heard me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he called back. "Go to the caverns with Wanda."

I continued to approach him, but I stopped a few feet from him as a precautionary measure, which was stupid in hindsight, because he could kill me with the ball he was holding if he had the mind to. "She's already gone, Ian."

"She didn't wait for you?"

"I went to her, and she was upset. She asked me to kiss her. When I hesitated, she seduced me, and she kissed me."

"Did you kiss her back?"

"What do you think?"

"And?" Ian's face reinforced the seriousness of this simple word.

"And when she pulled away she said it was 'nice'."

Ian's face registered the pain.

"And then she followed it with a 'but'."

I expected Ian's expression to change, but it didn't.

I continued. "She told me that it was you she wanted to be with."

"She kissed you." He was staring off into space.

I had already told him this. Was he not paying attention?

"Yes, she kissed me. She made me put on the music, and she danced with me, and she enticed me until I kissed her back."

"No! DAMN IT!" he exclaimed.

"She chose you Ian. She chose _you!_" I reiterated.

"She tried too hard. You should have gone with her," he was exasperated. I thought he'd be happy about the outcome, but he wasn't. He was pissed. "Just get the hell away from me." He turned and pitched the ball at the pitchback we had built, and he ignored me.

"Fine, have it your way." I stomped off the field. His words reverberated in my head. 'She tried too hard.' What was that supposed to mean? Did she cover how she really felt? These words would haunt me for the next few months.

I spent the rest of the day by myself. Ian didn't want to talk to me, and I didn't want to talk to Burns. I was alone, and for the first time in my life, I didn't like it. I saw Gina at dinner, and she appeared to be enjoying herself with Sarah and Megan. She spied me and waved happily. I waved back, but I didn't have the heart to flirt with her. It wouldn't have mattered anyway since flirting would have only infuriated Sarah. The last thing I needed right now was another enemy. After dinner, I went to my room and read. I immersed myself in the inner workings of vampires, and it helped me to feel normal…if that was even possible.


	8. Chapter 8

**So, I'm off to go on vacation. You all have a HAPPY 4****TH****! Chapter 9 will hopefully be posted on Thursday— if I have internet access where I am going. It sure would be nice to hear from all of you. Sometimes I feel like I am writing to myself.**

MARIA'S THOUGHTS

04/14/2002 – Yesterday sucked all the way around with the exception of the sixty seconds I spent kissing the most beautiful female on nine planets. She's gone now. I don't know for how long. I only pray I will see her again because the thought of never spending time with her or hearing her laughter actually hurts. Ian is here, but he may leave at anytime to join her, and if he does, I am afraid he will never allow her to return, and that would be terrible. For now, I'll play it by ear and keep a close watch on him. Maybe I'll get lucky, and one of the lovely ladies on the mountain will take a liking to him.

I need to make amends with Burns because I get the feeling he is putting all of the blame on me. Not that I am innocent in all of this, but Wanda could have easily told me straight up that she wanted no part of me, and she didn't. Even a soul can no, can't they?

I closed my journal and scooted out of the bed. I grabbed my clothes and headed for the house. Shower, breakfast, apology; those were my goals for this morning. Sarah and Megan were in the living room watching cartoons with Ben and Priscilla. I knew Gina slept with the girls.

"Hey, have any of you seen Gina?"

"She's with Nadine," Megan said without turning her attention from the TV.

"Yeah, she's getting a make-up lesson," Sarah added.

Satisfied with her answer, I stepped into the bathroom for my shower. Afterwards, I knocked on Burns's door.

"He's not in there," Sarah replied.

"Where did he go?"

"Burn's knocked on Ian's door this morning, and when he didn't answer, he opened it and looked in. Then he asked us if we saw him leave this morning. We didn't, and that's what we told him. Then, he left."

"I think he went looking for him," Priscilla said sweetly.

I smiled at my niece. "Thank you, princess."

The obvious place to look was the baseball field, so that's where I went. I ran into the two of them as they were headed back towards the house, and Ian looked like shit.

"Dude, are you okay?" I asked, concerned for his welfare.

"I'm fine," he grumbled.

Okay, not going to push _that _issue. I turned my attention to Burns. "Burns, can I talk with you for a bit?"

"Go, talk to him. Maybe you can escort him back to the caverns," Ian said to Burns snidely.

"You go back to the house and take a shower, and then go to sleep, or I'll knock you out and drag your sorry butt back to her myself," Burns retaliated.

"I'm not going back," Ian hissed.

Burns stopped and watched as Ian marched off in the direction of the house. When Ian was out of earshot, he turned to me. "Do you know where he slept last night?" He didn't give me a chance to answer. "At the ball field. He was lying in the dirt under the bench. I can only assume that he started out on top of it and then fell off and stayed there. He's lost his mind, I tell ya."

"I'm sorry. I never thought a little harmless flirting would lead to this," I said in a weak attempt to defend myself.

"Did you sleep with her?"

His accusation shocked me. "No!"

"Well you did something to make him think she loved you more than him."

"I swear to you. I never touched her except when she was about to leave. She kissed me, and I kissed her back. According to her, it was uneventful. She was supposed to take me with her, and she said she didn't need to. She said she loved him. I told him that. I don't know why he hasn't gone back to her, but you're right. He _has_ lost his mind."

"Well I made a promise to him that he could stay as long as he needs to, and I'm not going to go back on that promise."

"Okay, I guess you can always put him to work for a few days. That should keep him from moping around."

"I'll do that."

By this time we were standing at the back steps.

"I haven't eaten breakfast," I announced.

"Neither have I, and I'm sure Ian hasn't."

We entered the house, and Priscilla ran up to me. "Uncle Nate! Ian is back. He's in the shower."

I smiled at her and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you, darlin'."

She seemed proud of her accomplishment as if she had found him herself.

"I'm going to make some French toast for breakfast. Would you like some?"

"Yes, please." I stood up and addressed the others watching the TV. "French toast, anyone?"

They all replied in unison. It was a done deal. Burns and I prepared a ton of French toast. I instructed the girls to let Ian know that his breakfast was waiting for him in the kitchen.

He poked his head in. "Thanks, I don't need any breakfast."

"Nonsense," I replied. "Have some French toast—then you'll sleep like a rock."

He entered the kitchen and sat at the table. Burns slapped down a plate with four slices of French toast. Ian practically inhaled it. When he finished, he got up and put his plate in the sink. He began to wash the dishes. I interrupted him.

"I got it."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Ian asked.

"Because my best friend says you are a guest in his house, and I respect that."

"Too bad you couldn't respect my relationship," he mumbled as he walked away.

Any other time I might have called him on that remark, but he was right. I had overstepped my boundaries with Wanda. My problem was I knew it was wrong, right from the get go, but for some reason the sight of her left me dazed and confused to the point where in my mind, Ian just didn't matter. Burns shot me a look, and I understood. I didn't pursue the conversation, but rather let Ian exit the room.

"Thank you," Burns said softly.

"I'm a jerk. I know."

"You look like you could use a nap yourself," Burns remarked.

"I would, but I have laundry to do."

"I was going to go into town and get some clothes for Holly and Gina," Burns announced.

"That's a great idea."

"Yeah, I love shopping for bras and panties," he said sarcastically.

"Sorry, I should have had Wanda do it while she was here."

"Well, considering all the turmoil at the time, I guess it was better to wait."

"I'll track them down and get their sizes. I think Gina is with Nadine."

At that moment Holly entered the kitchen.

"Well speak of the devil!" I crooned.

"What?" Holly looked confused.

"Burns you get her, I'll go find Gina."

"What?" Holly asked again as I left the kitchen.

I found Gina and Nadine, together at one of the picnic tables outside the cave. Nadine had her make-up case out and the girls were experimenting.

"Hi ladies!" I tried to sound enthusiastic. I didn't want them to know I was down.

"Hi, Nate!" Gina trilled.

"I see Nadine's teaching you the tricks of the trade."

"She is. She's wonderful."

"See, I told you she'd be more than happy to help."

"What have you been up to? I haven't seen much of you," she said in a sweet voice.

I tapped my finger on the tip of her nose. "I was thinking the same about you."

Nadine just seemed annoyed by our banter.

"Did you see Ben in the house?" Nadine asked.

"Yes, I fed him French toast for breakfast."

"Thank you."

"Gina, I'm sending Burns to town to pick some clothing for you and Holly, so you can stop borrowing everyone else's."

"Thank you, that's really sweet of you." She smiled brightly at me.

"Don't thank me. I'm not the one pouring through women's underwear in the store."

"So, you want me to thank Burns."

"You're not afraid of him anymore, right?"

"No, I'll thank him when I see him."

"Good." I squeezed her hand. "Could you write down your sizes for me?"

"Sure."

Nadine sat quietly and did not contribute to the conversation.

"Nadine? Anything Burns can get you while he is in town?"

"I don't know. How about a husband?"

_Okay, I'm not getting into this fight with her._

I laughed nervously. "I'll tell Burns to be on the look out for humans and to bring them home if he sees any. Aaron was just here, though. He seemed like a decent guy."

"If you like the strong silent type. I prefer a man who talks." She shot me a dirty look.

"I'm going to get these sizes to Burns. I'll see you ladies later."

_Damn! Dodged a bullet there_.

I went to my room and gathered up my dirty laundry, since today was my scheduled day to use the laundry room. By the time I got to the house, it was almost noon. I had just enough time to see Burns off and start my laundry before I had to meet Uncle George in the kitchen for our weekly game of chess.

I entered the root cellar, and I immediately envisioned me and Wanda dancing here. She looked so unsure of herself and so vulnerable, unlike when she kissed me so aggressively yesterday. I still couldn't get what Ian had said about her trying too hard out of my head. The more I thought about it, the more I thought to myself that I shouldn't have kissed her at all. I should have just gone with her to the caverns and chosen the 'right' moment to kiss her.

Uncle George was waiting for me. We spent the afternoon playing chess. He was the one who taught me, so beating the old guy was always a challenge. Today he beat me, not because he was the better player, but for the simple fact that my mind was not on the game. I congratulated him just the same and went to the root cellar to fold my dry clothes.

I was in a funk, and I really didn't feel like making pleasant conversation with anyone. By now, it was nearly dinnertime, but I wasn't hungry, so I went to my room and did the exact thing Ian was doing. I moped. I turned out the light and lay in the darkness. I couldn't sleep. I just stared out at the blackness. At some point, I finally drifted off.

I was waked by a soft voice in the darkness.

"Nate, are you all right? You missed dinner."

"Wanda?"

"I knew it. You have a crush on that parasite!"

That's when I realized that my comforter was Gina. I reached for the light as she was about to exit.

"Go ahead, hate me," I said in an effort to stop her.

It worked. She stopped.

"Why her?"

"I don't know. It's stupid, I know. I'm just torturing myself because she's in love with Ian."

"Is that why he didn't go back? Because of you?"

"I don't know. I suppose I had something to do with it, but she told me she loves him."

"Do you love her?" she said as she turned in my direction.

"I don't know. I don't think I know what love is. Maybe I'm attracted to her because she's different…or maybe it's because she's unobtainable."

"So, you're saying if I played hard to get then you would want me?"

"Gina, I've wanted you for the last two nights in a row, but I don't want to use you."

"It's not as if I don't get satisfaction out of it."

"Do you? I can't help but wonder if you think that it's all you're good for, and that maybe you don't enjoy the sex at all."

Gina walked over to the nightstand and picked up my alarm clock. "Five o'clock, right?" She set the alarm clock, and then proceeded to strip out of her clothes. She had the most perfect breasts. I remembered reading her bra size, 34C. I couldn't help but reach out and touch them. She moved closer but remained standing on the side of the bed. I licked her nipples with my tongue. That was all it took to make me hard.

She smiled. "Ravage me, Nate."

I pulled her onto the bed, and I covered her body with kisses. She made little soft cooing sounds when I kissed her in certain places. "Do what you did in the bathroom. Please?"

I slid off the bed and took off my clothes. I pulled a condom from the drawer, opened the package, and slid it over my now swollen cock. I parted her legs, climbed back onto the bed, and buried my head. I was hell bent on giving her everything she wanted and more. I used my fingers to penetrate her while I teased her with my tongue. I could tell she was trying very hard to prolong the excitement. Finally, she let out a long moan, and her body twisted to the right. She giggled uncontrollably, and then tried to push me away with all her might. She had climaxed, and her body was extremely sensitive now. I ran my fingers along her hip bone, and she practically jumped off the bed.

"You like that?" I said softly.

"I like you. I wish you liked me."

"I do like you Gina. Why do you think it is so hard for me to say 'no' to you?"

"I just want to make you happy."

"You do."

"Then fuck me."

I grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. I plunged my dick into her, and it felt so damn good. It was a full minute before I realized that I was holding her, so she couldn't move. I immediately released her wrists.

"I'm sorry. I hope I didn't frighten you."

"I'm not afraid of you. You are so gentle and yet strong. It feels so…"

I slammed into her. She threw her head back. "Ohhhh…my god." She reached for me, and I leaned in to kiss her. Our lovemaking continued in this way for some time. After a while, she stopped kissing my lips and began to kiss my chest. Little did she know that she had discovered my Achilles heel. As she latched onto my pectoral muscle to mark me, I felt the cum rise up into the shaft of my dick, and a minute later I exploded. I let out what sounded like a cry of pain. Pain because I didn't want it to end. She kept pulling me into her, and each time I spasmed. "You like that?" she threw my words right back at me.

"Yes, I like that."

I laid on my back and caught my breath before rolling off the bed to clean myself up. I slowly climbed back on the bed and pulled her into my arms.

"Thank you. You really saved my life tonight."

"Good, now were even," she whispered.

"You say that like I'm not going to see you again."

"Would that bother you?"

I pulled back to look into her eyes. "Of course, it would bother me. I told you, I care about you."

"Hmmm."

"What? You don't believe me?"

"No, I believe you."

We lay quiet. She snuggled into my chest, and I turned out the light. I stroked her hair in the darkness.

"I meant to ask you; did Burns bring you some clothes?"

"Yes, and I thanked him."

It was quiet again.

"He's shy, isn't he?"

"Very. I'm surprised that he and Lily hit it off." I thought about the fact that Wanda was so proud that she had schemed to get Burns and Lily together. She had compared herself to me, although, if I was really that good of a schemer, she would be in my arms right now instead of Gina. But I had to admit having Gina wasn't a bad thing, either.

I heard the alarm go off at five, but I pretended that I didn't. I knew from experience that if I let her know that I was awake, she would only try to make me feel guilty for kicking her out of my bed. How many fights had Nadine and I endured over this very thing? They were too numerous to count. It eventually drove a wedge between us and from yesterday's conversation; it was obvious that she was still holding a grudge.

She kissed my cheek lightly. I prayed she wouldn't say anything stupid like 'I love you'. She didn't. I breathed a sigh of relief when the door closed behind her, and I fell back to sleep.

It was a beautiful morning, so I decided to find my adoptive mom. She was sitting in her chair above the root cellar worshiping the warm sun. Her eyes were closed, but she knew it was me.

"Nathan, how are you today?"

I stood in front of her. "I'm still confused."

"Well, you are blocking my sun. Sit, and we can talk."

The grass was still wet with dew, but I sat and leaned against the corner of her chair. She reached for my head and stroked my hair. She enjoyed this, and I did, too.

"So, what do you have to be confused about?"

"Well, Wanda is gone, but Ian is still here. I don't know what the state of their relationship is. I miss her, though."

"You had your chance to go with her. Why didn't you take it?"

"She asked me not to. She kissed me, and I kissed her back. It seems it meant more to me than it did to her."

"Or maybe it meant too much to her, and that is why she asked you not to go."

I turned to face her. "Do you think so?"

"I don't know. I didn't kiss her," she said flatly.

I sighed. "And then, there's Gina."

"Ah, the girl who is trying to trap you with sex."

"It's not all about the sex."

"Isn't it?" she said adamantly.

"She's been raped repeatedly. I don't even know if she has the ability to feel anything."

"I suppose you are going to make it your mission to find out."

"I don't know. I want to know about her. I care about her, and I worry."

"What is there to worry about? She is safe here. No one would harm her."

"I know." I turned back to my previous position, and she resumed stroking my hair.

We were quiet. The sun felt good on my face.

"I do have a question," Maria said as she broke the silence.

"What?"

"You say she's been raped repeatedly. Do you think those men used a condom? Considering they didn't have a soul to get them supplies, do you ever wonder if she has any children?"

"She hasn't mentioned it."

"I assume you've seen her naked."

"Yes, what's your point?"

"My point is and don't be angry when I say this; my point is a girl as thin as she is would have stretch marks if she had given birth to a child. Does she have stretch marks?"

"No, her body is perfect—except for a large scar on her back."

"Which could have been caused by any number of things. I can't help but wonder if her stories are true, or if she fabricated them to gain your sympathy."

I sat up abruptly. "Maria, why would you say that?"

"It's just a thought, Nathan. Something you should think about. You said yourself that she is insecure about her looks. Maybe, this is her way of keeping you close to her. It's wrong, but it's harmless and it works."

"Thanks, Maria. You have managed to confuse me just a bit more."

"That's what mothers are for!" She grinned.

I growled. "I'm going to check on Burns and Ian, and see what they may have planned for the day."

I stood up and leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

"Don't forget. You promised to help with the garden this week," she reminded me.

"When do you want to do it? I can do it today," I offered.

"No, I have cooking duty today. I'm off tomorrow. It's one of my two days off that you made me promise to take."

I couldn't help but smile. "Tomorrow then, I'll meet you here at the same time?"

"I'll be waiting."

I started to walk away.

"Don't forget to think about what I said."

I didn't turn around because as much as I hated to admit it, she had made a great point. I was using a condom, but if she was on the run with the type of people who would rape, I would think that in six years she would have gotten pregnant. It didn't make sense.

I found Burns and Ian laying a new kitchen floor. It seems that yesterday when Burns went to town, he had the mind to buy new tile for the kitchen, and he and Ian were hard at work stripping the old tile off the floor.

"Mind if I help?" I offered.

"Suit yourself," Ian grumbled.

"I always enjoy your company," Burns said enthusiastically.

I started to help. "Have you heard anything? Did they make it back all right?"

"Yes, I spoke to Lily and Wanda last night. It seems that Melanie is pregnant."

Ian stopped working for a few seconds. I could only surmise that this news affected him in some way. Then he resumed tearing the tile off the floor.

"Pregnant, really?"

"Yeah, and I hear that Jared is not too happy about it."

"I suppose it's a good thing that Wanda is with her then…to give her moral support."

Ian looked up at me. "Are you here to work or yap?"

"I'm just sayin'."

I decided that rather than push him, I'd just shut my mouth and work. We had to stop at noon when Maria came in to claim the kitchen. Ian went to his room and Burns and I sat and watched a movie on TV.

"He doesn't talk much does he?"

"Nope."

"I guess he's hurting," I surmised.

"We're all hurting," Burns replied.

"You really like this Lily, huh?"

"Nate, I didn't think it was possible to feel this way. She's awakened feelings that I had buried away after my parents died."

"I'm happy for you."

I didn't say anything more. I didn't want to get into my own messy relationship with Gina and my feelings for Wanda that refused to go away. Maybe I didn't miss her as much as Ian, but I was sure that if I had spent even one night with her, I would be a basket case, too.

After lunch the three of us resumed our project, and we still had not finished when Maria arrived to once again claim the kitchen for dinner preparation.

"We'll finish it tomorrow morning," Burns exclaimed.

"I can't. I have a prior commitment," I said loud enough for Maria to hear in the hopes she would release me from my promise. She didn't. She went about what she was doing and ignored me.

"It's okay. It won't take us long now," Burns replied.

"I'm going to the field," Ian announced.

Before he hit the door, Burns called out to him. "Hey! Promise me you will show up for dinner."

"Yeah, sure." He didn't sound very convincing.

"I promised a little lady that I would take care of you. I don't go back on my promises," Burns said emphatically.

"What time is dinner?" he asked in a defeated tone.

"I'll come get you," I replied.

"Fine." Ian turned and bolted out the door.

I returned to the cave and got myself a clean set of clothes. I took a nice, relaxing, hot bath. While I lay there, I had two women on my mind. I wondered how long Wanda and Ian were going to play this game before either, he went to the caverns, or she came back here. I wanted to call her, but I knew she wouldn't get the call unless she was outside the caverns, and the chances of that were slim to none. If she had left the caverns, she would surely call Burns to check on Ian.

The other woman I thought about was Gina. Maria had made a very good point, and now I couldn't help but wonder if she was just a very good liar. On the one hand, if she lied, then she wouldn't have gone through the atrocities that played in my head. Then again, if she lied, then that made her sneaky and untrustworthy. Maybe that's why she didn't want to room with Holly. Maybe, Holly knew the truth about her. I didn't want to go behind her back and ask questions about her. I decided I would confront Gina in a nice way and see what she revealed.

At dinner time, I went to the field to fetch Ian, and I found Carlos with him. It appeared that he had asked Ian if he would show him how to pitch, and Ian seemed only too willing to work with him. It was promising to see him interacting with someone besides himself. Holly was hanging out watching them. I sat next to her.

I opened the conversation. "So how are you doing?"

"I'm good. It's nice here."

"Well, we aim to please." I said with a smile.

It was quiet for a moment. I broke the silence with my next question.

"So, ever since you got here, I haven't seen you and Gina hanging together. Why is that?"

"I don't know. She's funny. Sometimes she can be really cool, and then all of a sudden she gets real quiet, almost like she's depressed. I know she had a rough time since the takeover."

"Well, a little birdie recently told me that we've all had a rough time since the takeover." I nudged her shoulder playfully.

She remained stoic. "It's different."

"Different how?" I was pushing, but I wanted to hear her say it.

"It's not something that I should talk about. It's personal to her, and I don't feel comfortable talking behind her back."

"Oh, okay." I said innocently.

"I just figure if she wants to talk to me, I'm here. She seems to get along with Nadine and her little boy," Holly replied.

"Yeah, Nadine's been teaching her about make-up."

"Oh yeah, that's another thing. She thinks she's ugly, and she says I'm beautiful. I've told her that she is pretty, but she never believes me."

"Huh." I nodded my head thoughtfully.

Carlos and Ian had gathered up the equipment they were using. Ian stopped at the bench. "Are you coming?"

"Sure—Come on, Holly."

Holly bounced off the bench and walked between me and Ian. I offered her my elbow and she took it, but she slipped her other arm through Ian's. As we approached the house, I noticed that Gina was sitting on the back steps. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought she was waiting for me, but when she saw the three of us approaching, she got up and went into the house.

As I entered, I noticed that Gina had sat on the couch next to Evan and she had started up a conversation with him. Whatever they were talking about, she was all smiles. A minute later, she was holding his hand and looking into his palm like a fortune teller. Each time he would respond to her, she would reach out and touch him. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. I was sure that it was the response she was trying to get from me, and I told myself, I would not walk up and claim her. If I did, then I would be establishing the relationship. I went into the kitchen and offered to help carry food back to the cave. Maria draped a towel over my arms and dropped a hot pan of baked ziti on top and sent me on my way. Ian followed behind with his own pan.

At the cave, dinner was served, and I certainly had my fill of baked Ziti, salad, and Italian bread. After dinner, I played crazy eights in the house with Burns, Holly, who seemed to love card games, my sister Kim, her husband Tom, and Uncle George.

I didn't see Gina for the rest of the night. That night, I crawled into my bed, wishing I had her by my side.


	9. Chapter 9

THE SAD TRUTH

04/18/2002 – It's been four days since I've written anything for the simple fact that nothing is happening. No one has heard from Wanda. Ian continues to work on projects with Burns and sometimes I help. The rest of the time he is at the ball field. Blake and Carlos usually track him down, and they continue to work together. I noticed that Holly likes to hang out there as well. I am beginning to think that Holly has a crush on Ian, although I haven't seen much interaction between them. She mostly sits and watches. Sometimes, she reads a book.

I managed to help Maria plant her garden. It turned out to be a bigger project than last year. In addition to the cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, and bell peppers, she decided she wanted to try lettuce and eggplant as well as a row of corn. I had to dig up an additional five foot by six foot of grass. She's happy though…

Uncle George isn't feeling well, and that concerns me. He's getting older, and the coolness of the cave can often send a chill to the bone. Maybe I can talk Maria into getting him out into the sun.

On the subject of Gina, well, there is no subject. She has been avoiding me like the plague. I'm torn as to whether to leave her be or confront her. I miss her. Last night, I pleasured myself. I kept picturing Wanda with Gina's perfect breasts. Afterwards, I was satisfied, but I wasn't happy. I decided that I need to talk to Gina. If she wants Evan then that's fine, but I want to hear it from her.

It was raining. Everyone was either in the cave or in the house, except Ian. He was at the ball field. Gina was hanging with Megan and Sara watching a show on the Disney Channel. It seems the souls loved the entire concept of Disney. She turned her head and stared at me when I entered the house. I smiled at her, and she turned back to watch the show. What did I do to warrant her disregard? The last night we spent together I did everything I could to satisfy her. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee. I returned to the living room, and Gina was gone. _Damn it!_

"Did you see where Gina went?"

"Um, she said she had laundry to do," Megan answered.

I put down my cup of coffee and high tailed it out the door to the root cellar.

She wasn't alone. Miranda was in there as well.

"Hello ladies!"

"Hello Nate," Miranda chirped happily.

Gina didn't answer.

"No hello from the lovely Miss Gina? Has the rain got you down?"

"No."

I walked over, and began to help her fold her clothes. I picked up her underwear, and she snatched them from my hand. "I could carry the basket back to the cave for you," I offered.

"I'm fine. I'm meeting Evan later at the house. We are going to bake a cake."

Miranda picked up her basket and left. "See you later."

"Bye," we both said in unison.

I turned my attention to Gina. "I could bake a cake with you."

"Oh, heavens no, someone might think we had an interest in each other."

"Gina, don't be like that. I've missed you."

"Well, it's not as if I've left the mountain in the last four days. Evan doesn't seem to have an issue with hanging out with me."

"That's because he wants to get laid," I answered too quickly.

"And what is it you want?" she quipped.

"Polite conversation."

"Right."

I took the shirt she was folding out of her hand. I grabbed her wrists and slid my hands across hers until my fingers were entwined in hers.

"I really do want to talk."

"About what?"

"About you."

"Why?"

"Something's been bothering me."

"I haven't slept with Even if that's what you're worried about."

I was actually relieved to hear that.

"Good, but that's not what has been bothering me."

She drew in a deep breath. "I haven't been around because I had my period. Most guys don't want to have anything to do with me when it's that time."

I cupped my hands under her chin, and I kissed her gently. "Is that what you think?"

"You don't want a relationship, so I take that to mean if you aren't going to get your dick wet, then you don't want to see me."

I clutched my chest. "Ahhh, you wound me."

She glared at me. "Right."

"Seriously. I'm happy just kissing you."

"I thought you wanted to talk," she said dryly.

"I do."

Aunt Sue entered the root cellar at that moment carrying a large basket of laundry. I quickly backed away from Gina.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Nope, I was just leaving," Gina replied as she picked up the last of her laundry and dropped it into the basket. She covered it with a large garbage bag to keep the clothes from getting wet.

"Let me carry it for you." I took it from her and followed her out of the root cellar. It was still raining, but it wasn't as heavy as before.

We walked in silence for a bit, and then I blurted out the question that had been bothering me for days. "Why is it you have no children?"

She creased her forehead. "What?"

"I was thinking. When you and I have sex, I always use a condom because Burns gets them for me, but you said you've been forced to have sex many times. I would think that these men did not have the luxury of condoms. Why have you never been pregnant?"

She pursed her lips. She looked pissed. "Give me my basket." She ripped the basket from my arms and marched off towards the cave.

"Why are you mad?" I said as I walked along side of her.

She stopped dead in her tracks. "What makes you think I've never been pregnant?" she growled.

"Because your body is perfect. I've seen what pregnancy does to a woman's body. You've never given birth."

"AND I PROBABLY NEVER WILL! I HATE YOU NATHAN DOWNEY!" She threw her basket of clothes at me and stormed off.

"GINA!" I called out. I was caught off guard by her actions. Her clean clothes lay in a heap on the rain soaked ground. I knelt down and picked up the clothes and placed them back in the basket. They would need to be washed all over again. I carried the basket to the entrance of the cave. I put them down just inside and continued to her room.

"Gina?" I called out in a soft voice as I entered her room. The lamp was just inside. I could hear her sobbing. I clicked on the light, and she was lying in the fetal position with her back to me, and she was rocking back and forth as she cried. I knelt by her side and touched her shoulder. "Gina?"

"Go away Nathan."

Only Maria called me by my full name. "Please talk to me."

"I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone!"

"Gina, please."

"GET…OUT!" she screamed.

"Okay." I backed away and left her.

I was rattled. I didn't know what to do. I only knew that the subject of a baby sent her over the edge. I picked up her laundry basket and returned to the root cellar. It was almost dinner, but I needed the solace to try and make sense of what had just happened. The only thing that made sense to me was if she had indeed been pregnant and somehow lost the baby…or maybe she had been trying to get pregnant and she couldn't. I don't know. She said she was menstruating. Maybe she had hoped that I had gotten her pregnant in the bathtub. I don't know. I only know I couldn't leave things like this.

I finished her laundry and I went back to the cave. The rain had stopped now. It was still overcast though. The cave was quiet because dinner was being served at the house due to the rain. I knocked lightly on the make shift folding Japanese screen that many of the family used as doors to their rooms. She didn't answer. I folded the screen and stepped into the room. The light was still on just as I had left it. I put down the basket and knelt next to her. She was asleep. I reached out and pulled her hair from her face.

"Hey," I said in a soft voice.

She rolled towards me and opened her eyes.

"Are you all right?"

"No, I'm damaged. Can't you see that? You should run as far and as fast as you can."

I brushed the outer part of my fingers along her cheek. "I'm sorry I upset you. I rewashed your laundry. I'll go now."

I got up and turned to leave.

"I was pregnant once," she said barely above a whisper.

I stopped in my tracks.

"There was this guy. He was the leader of our little pack," she said as she sat up on her mattress.

I turned, and she bade me to come and sit by her. I sat on the mattress facing her.

"His name was John. Everyone called him Big John. He was like Ian only bigger."

I immediately thought of Kyle.

She took a deep breath. "Most of the guys who had sex with me took me from behind. I guess they didn't want to see my face. It's not like I'm much to look at really."

I caressed her face. "You're beautiful to me."

"You are too kind."

I leaned forward and kissed her lips. "You are prettier than you think."

"Big John liked me to strip down. He liked my breasts. He would spend an inordinate amount of time sucking on them." Her breasts were perfect. It was my favorite part of her. "He was gone for a few weeks. That's when I realized I was pregnant. I missed two periods. He came back, and the first thing he wanted was me. I wasn't really in the mood, but he slapped me and he told me to do as I was told. I was fifteen at the time. I couldn't fight back. I took off my clothes quickly, and he immediately went for my breasts which were swollen. He latched on, and I pushed him away because it hurt."

"You must hate it when I caress your breasts."

"No, you are tender." She took my hand and laid it gently on her breast, and I gently rubbed my thumb across her nipple through her clothes. I slowly pulled my hand away, so she would continue the story.

"Go on," I implored.

"He was surprised when I pulled away. That's when he took a good look at me and saw my little pooch. He realized I was pregnant."

Suddenly, she turned her head and looked away from me.

"He was pissed. He said there was no room for a baby." Her voice hitched. "It would just be a burden. He knocked me down and he kicked me––again and again in my abdomen." She began to sob again.

I felt nauseas at the thought of this man kicking a defenseless pregnant fifteen year old. I could feel the lump in my throat forming, and the tears just came. I slid towards her and pulled her into my arms. "I'm sorry."

"Another man tried to stop him, but he beat the shit out of him—and then he turned back to me and he kicked me—until I miscarried." She was hysterical now. My own tears blurred my vision, so I just held her tightly. I was trying to comfort her, but I needed comforting, too. We both cried for a long time before she regained her voice.

"After that, no one bothered me for a while. It was few months before John came to me again demanding satisfaction. Kevin, the guy who tried to protect me, came to me and offered to run away with me." I used my thumbs to wipe away her tears. "He said he would never try to hurt me—so, one night, he and I snuck out, and we were on the run together for almost two years. He never once tried to touch me. He was more like a big brother to me."

"How old was he?"

"I never asked, but I think he was in his early thirties. We never stayed in one place for very long. Then about a year ago we were raiding this house, and the owners came home. They had a big dog. He told me to run, and the dog took him down. I don't know what happened after that. I can only assume he was caught. I wandered around for a bit, and then I came upon the abandoned barn, and that's where I found Holly."

I knelt down and scooped Gina into my arms. As I stood up with her cradled in my arms she asked, "What are you doing?"

"I think we need each other tonight."

"I can't have sex with you tonight."

"I'm not asking for sex," I replied.

I carried her to my room and laid her on the bed. "You stay right here and make yourself comfortable. I'm going to get us some dinner."

"Okay."

It was at that moment that I realized I had issued an order, and I did not want to be likened to Big John.

"Unless you don't want to stay here," I clarified.

"No, I want to stay." She smiled weakly.

I leaned in to kiss her, but I hesitated because I wanted to make sure it was what she wanted. She put her arms around my neck. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"You're forgiven. It's perfectly understandable under the circumstances. I just hope I never run into that guy."

"Me, too. He'd kill you in a fight."

"I don't have to fight him. Remember, I'm king of the mountain. What I say goes," I assured her.

She kissed me, and I reciprocated. I pulled her arms from my neck and kissed her hands. "I'll be back. Make yourself comfortable."

I flew out the door and jogged to the house. In my mind, I kept picturing a meeting between her torturer and myself. Between Burns, Ian, Carl, Rob, and Tom, I would make sure he suffered. I pictured him chained between two trees while Ian used him as a backstop. It made me smile. It would be the first of many vengeful thoughts I would have in relation to my hatred for him. My feelings for Gina had come full circle. I wasn't in love with her, but I loved her. I wanted to protect her at all costs. I knew I would die for her if I it meant keeping her safe.

At the house, Burns stopped me. "Where have you been all day?"  
>My answer was abrupt. "I've been dealing with a situation."<p>

"Anything I can help you with?"

"No."

"Well, you missed dinner."

"I know. That's why I'm here."

I walked away from Burns and entered the kitchen. Aunt Sue, Megan, and Sarah were in the kitchen washing dishes.

"Hello ladies. I know I'm late, but is there anything left?"

"Yes, there's ham and leftover potatoes and green beans in those containers on the table," Aunt Sue pointed out.

"Good, can I get two plates from the cabinet?"

"Sure." Megan handed me two plates that she had just dried.

"Excuse me. I don't know if you know this, but Gina suffers from depression and right now she's going through a rough time. She is going to stay with me tonight. I didn't want you to worry if she doesn't come back to her room. Okay?"

"Okay," Megan said cheerfully.

"Is she all right?" Aunt Sue asked. Aunt Sue had taken Sarah under her wing when she arrived. She was very much the mothering type.

"I hope so. She is just reliving some bad things in her past. Things she blocked out for a long time. She just needs someone to hold$ her––you know?"

Sarah made a face at me. I kissed her forehead. "You're still my girl."

She was beaming.

I prepared two plates and put them on a tray along with a couple of cold bottles of Gatorade in a bag. I left the house and had only gone a few steps when I ran into Gina.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just had to go to the bathroom."

"You could have used the one by the cave."

"No, I couldn't."

"Right." I had forgotten that she had her period, and the feminine supplies were kept in the bathroom at the house. "I'll wait for you."

I sat on the back steps and waited for Gina to return. She took the bag with the drinks, and we walked slowly back to the cave.

"Nate?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for being so sweet."

"What can I say? You've invaded my heart."

We ate dinner and listened to music, and we laughed and enjoyed each other's company. Afterwards, I stripped down to my boxers. She snuggled into my side, and I read a book to her. It was a love story, not something I would ever read, but I needed her to feel better.

Eventually, we climbed under the covers and made out like a couple of school kids in the dark. When she yawned, I made her roll over. I spooned her, and I fell asleep, happy to have her with me.


	10. Chapter 10

**So, my vacay is over. I'm back in the Beach, and not too thrilled about going back to work tomorrow.  
>I am, however, looking forward to hearing from my readers. This is one of my favorite chapters. I hope y'all like it!<strong>

LOSING CONTROL

04/21/2002 – Three days ago my relationship with Gina changed dramatically. It's not about sex anymore. It's about moral support and love. I know that Wanda has lived many lives on many planets, and I know that she went through hell trying to survive in the beginning when she was in the caverns, but as far as I can tell, she was never raped. I admire the strength that Gina has shown. I don't know if put into the same situation, I could have endured what she has gone through. I have made a promise to myself that I will never ask Gina for sex because I know she would never turn me down. Instead, we walk together every day in the woods, and we talk and sometimes we sneak kisses like teenagers. I am hoping she will regain a part of her teen innocence that she never had the chance to experience.

The other day, I called Wanda because I have been thinking about her as well. It went to voice mail, so I just left a message for her call me. I keep hoping that one day, she'll just show up. It doesn't seem as if Ian is going anywhere.

It had been an uneventful day. I was checking on the garden when my cell phone started to ring. I couldn't get it out of my pocket fast enough. It was Wanda. I felt the blood rise up into my head. I dialed her back quickly.

"Hello?"

"Wanda, you called?"

"I was just returning your call."

"Oh, I called you two days ago."

"We don't get great reception in the caverns, so I had to wait until I was sent on a road trip."

"Ah, I see."

"So, how are you?"

I needed to turn on the charm. "There's no one to flirt with. All the beautiful girls are gone."

"I'm sorry. There's always…"

"Don't say Sarah."

"I wasn't. I was going to say there's always Gina and Holly."

If she only knew. "I'm not really interested." Okay, it was a little white lie.

"Nate, how's Ian? Tell me the truth please. Don't sugarcoat it."

"Well, he doesn't have much to say to me anymore now that he's not keeping an eye on me. I told him what happened between us before you left. You'll never believe what he asked me."

"What did he ask you?"

"He asked me if I really wanted to kiss you. He wanted to know what _kind_ of a kiss it was."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him that I kissed you like any guy who wanted to 'get' the girl. So, then he asked me if you kissed me back."

"I'm listening."

"I told him it was a pretty passionate kiss. You know what he said to that?"

"What?"

"He said you were trying _too _hard. He's been either working with Burns or at the ball field ever since."

"Is Burns the only one he talks to?"

"Pretty much. I see Holly at the ball field watching him pitch sometimes."

She was silent.

"Wanda?"

Her voice cracked as she squeaked. "Yes?"

"Oh now, you don't think? No way. That boy's never going to even _look_ at another girl. I'm positive of that."

She was still silent.

"Who's there with you?"

"Kyle," she croaked.

"Let me speak to him."

"Hello?"

"Hi, Kyle. She sounds like she's upset. I tried to tell her that Ian is not paying any attention to anyone, but I made the mistake of saying that Holly likes to hang at the baseball field. She's blowing it out of proportion."

"I know."

"Would you reassure her that nothing is going on?"

"Yes."

"And would you tell her I miss her, too."

"Okay."

I went about the rest of my day, but Wanda was definitely on my mind. It was a few hours later when Ian tracked me down in the kitchen. I was doing the dishes with Gina.

"Why the hell did you tell Wanderer that Holly has been hanging around the ball field?"

"Was I supposed to lie to her? I told her nothing was going on."

Gina hung her towel over the chair and bolted from the room. Ian probably assumed she did it to give us privacy, but I knew better. In Gina's eyes, Wanda was her competition, and the fact that I had talked to her had obviously pissed her off.

"Are you listening to me?" Ian roared.

"Look, she asked me how you were doing. I told her that I don't talk to you much, but that I knew you hung out on the field a lot. I just mentioned that Holly likes to watch. I didn't think she was going to freak out! I told her you would never even think about cheating on her. Ask Kyle. I talked to him, too."

"Just stay the fuck out of my relationship!" he bellowed.

"Fine!"

"Fine!" He turned and stormed out of the kitchen. _Fuck!_

I finished the dishes and dried them and put them away. Afterwards, I went off in search of Gina. I had a hell of a time finding her. I checked her room, my room, the root cellar, the house, and everywhere in between. I finally found her in my 'special place'; the room without a ceiling where I liked to go to see the stars. She was lying in the middle of the floor staring out at the sky.

"Gina."

"Go away, Nathan," she said calmly.

"Gina, you have no reason to be mad."

"Oh really? How often do you talk to her?"

"I called her a few days ago, and she returned my call."

"Seriously? You called her?" The jealousy was evident in her tone.

"Yes. Why? Is that a problem?"

"You've been thinking about her. Is that why you haven't made love to me?"

"No! We haven't had sex because I was trying to respect you. I didn't want you to think that all I want from you is sex!"

"Right, because you want to have sex with her!" She screeched.

"You know what? I'm not playing this game with you, Gina."

"Fine! If you don't want me, I'll just go screw someone else."

She said it to hurt me, and I was furious and I struck back.

"You are a grown woman. You can do what you want."

"Fine. Watch me. Maybe, I'll fuck Ian. Then he'll have both of your girlfriends."

It was like a stab in the back. I was on top of her in a minute. "Is this what you want?"

"No, I want the Nate who thinks my body is perfect. I want the Nate who would do anything to satisfy me because he knows that he will be satisfied in return. If you're just going to think about Wanda, then fucking get off of me."

I was desperate to have her. I had been holding back for days, but now I let it all loose. My dick was hard in seconds as I closed my lips over hers. I tasted her again and again. I was in a frenzied state. I pulled her shirt over her head. I unsnapped her bra and exposed her beautiful breasts. _Yes!_ I sucked on them, and she reached down and massaged my cock. The floor was hard, and I knew if I got on top I would probably hurt her. I rolled to my back and took down my pants. "Get on."

"No," she said adamantly.

"No?"

"She straddled me on her knees, but her pussy was over my face."

It was a challenge that I was definitely in the mood for. I went to work and used every trick I knew until she cried out.

I pulled a condom from my wallet and slid it quickly into place. "Now get on."

She backed up and guided my swollen erection into her tight vagina. _Fuck! That feels so good!_

"Say my name," she ordered.

"What?"

"Say my name."

"Gina."

"Say it again."

"Gina." I knew this was about Wanda. She was afraid I was thinking about Wanda instead of her, but she was dead wrong. Only Gina knew how to make me feel like this. "Gina, you are beautiful. Never doubt that."

I reached up and grabbed her gently by the throat and pulled her face towards mine, so I could kiss her. Her hair smelled good. She went for my neck. She was marking me, and she was doing it on purpose. _Do I stop her?_ She knew that I didn't like to telegraph who I might be sleeping with.

I spoke as clearly as I could under the circumstances. "Gina, stop."

She lifted her head.

"Why?"

"Because I am a leader, and it would look cheap. If you want to mark me, do it where it can't be seen."

The conversation seemed to break the rhythm of the ride, but then she went to my pectoral muscle and latched on there. I grabbed her hips and held on because the harder she sucked the more excited I became. After another minute, I was slamming myself into her, and she couldn't focus on what she was doing anymore. I had control now, and she had her hands flat on my chest, and she was once again moaning. It was nice to see her enjoy herself. I tried to prolong the sex as long as I could which was much easier with the condom on. I could feel her tighten, and she threw her head back, so I knew she had climaxed. Finally, my body betrayed me, and I pulled her down and held her there. I cried out words that were unintelligible.

She smiled broadly. She gently lifted herself off of me and laid by my side.

I took a deep breath and stood up. I slid the condom off and laid it behind a large rock. I would have to come back and retrieve it later. I used my sock to clean myself and then folded the sock and placed it in my pocket. She laid there watching me.

"Do you see what you do to me?" I grinned as I said it.

She seemed pleased with herself.

I stood above her and took her hands and pulled her to her feet. "The reason I hadn't tried to make love to you is because I knew you would never say no, and I didn't want you to feel that just because I want it, that you have to do it. If you come to me, I will never say no, not because I feel that I have to obey you, but because I always want it. Do you understand?"

"Yes, but I will never stop being jealous of Wanda, even though you think I have no right to be jealous."

"Fair enough."

We walked back towards the house. It was movie night, and tonight's movie was one that I had been waiting to see.

"Oh, and another thing." I said out of the blue as we walked.

"What?' She said warily.

"From now on, when you want to have sex, can you come to me in my room? We could easily have been caught tonight."

"Hey, you're the one who jumped on me," she countered.

"I know, and although I truly enjoyed myself, I could kick myself for being so careless."

When we got near the house I came up with an excuse to let her enter before me, so people would not think we were together.

"I need to check on something in the root cellar. I'll be a few minutes. Save me a seat." I threw the last part in, so she wouldn't offer to come with me.

I went to the root cellar and did a quick check to make sure everything was in order. Then, I headed back to the house. It was crowded. It was a popular movie, and even Ian was there, seated next to Burns on the couch. Holly was there, too, but there was no room on the couch for her, so she was sitting on a chair across the room. Ian was deep in conversation with Burns about another project they had planned. She stared at him, and it was obvious, at least to me, that she wanted his attention. Gina was sitting on the floor, and she tapped the floor next to her in an effort to get me to sit next to her. I raised my finger to her, and then, I turned and entered the kitchen. There was a crowd in there, too. It was the older crowd settling in for a game of Mexican Train dominoes.

Uncle George was there. He wasn't playing, but he needed the warmth of the house. The cold of the caves was starting to affect his arthritis. He wouldn't take the 'No Pain' I had offered him many times because he thought of it as evil—like the souls who had taken over. While he liked Burns, he still kept the fact that Burns was one of them close to his heart.

The players included Maria, who almost always won. She was smart as a whip. There was also Max, Aunt Sue, and Carl. Tom was there as well, but he was the youngster at the table. Miranda was watching the movie with the rest of us.

"Where's Hector?"

"He said he wasn't feeling well. He said he was going to bed early," Aunt Sue replied.

She and Hector were close. Aunt Sue was like me. She kept her relationships private. Although I never saw her and Hector show any affection in public, I think there was a relationship going on between them behind closed doors.

"Do you want me to take some heal to him?"

"I don't think that will be necessary. I think he's got a head cold coming on. I'll take some with me tonight, and I'll check on him before I go to bed."

"Okay." I smiled at her. I retrieved two cans of Coke from the fridge and went back to the living room.

The space next to Gina was still available, so I sat down next to her and handed her one of the cans of Coke. She thanked me and continued her conversation with Nadine. Oddly enough, they were discussing a book from my library that they both had read. Once the movie started, she leaned back. She was butted right up against my shoulder because although I was leaning against the end of the couch, there was no where for her to lean. I lifted my arm, and she dove into my chest. I wrapped my arm around her and watched the movie. I didn't think of this as a grand gesture because I would have done this with any female that had sat next to me. As the night wore on, I caught myself sliding my fingers lightly up and down her arm. At one point, she looked up at me, and I knew she wanted me to kiss her.

"No," I whispered.

I knew she was mad, but I just pulled her tightly to me, so she wouldn't get up and walk away.

After the movie, Gina got up immediately and bolted. I wasn't going to stop her. I tried to keep in mind that she was, after all, only nineteen and I was twenty six. Even though she had as much experience as me sexually, emotionally, she was still into playing games. She made a beeline for Evan. I decided that rather than watch the flirtation between them that I would offer to walk Uncle George back to the cave. I needed to retrieve my condom as well. I took a plastic grocery bag from the kitchen before I left.

"Good night all!" I called from the kitchen before I left.

The next morning I found Ian sitting on the couch with the kids watching old cartoons from the seventies. It was the Flintstones.

"Hmmm, cavemen. I might have known," I joked.

"Yeah, well I guess you prefer Survivor, so you can learn new techniques in how to back stab your friends."

I sighed. There was so much I could have said, but I reeled it in.

"Where's Burns?"

"He said he got a call early this morning from the station. They saw humans in the woods in Caren County, and he's gone to check it out. He said he would call you."

"I wish he hadn't gone alone."

"I offered to go with him, but he said he was hoping it was just 'soul paranoia'."

"I hope so."

"Well, I'm off to the field. Hey, you don't mind if I dig up the grass out there, do you?"

I gave him a queer look. "Why would you dig up the grass?"

"I want to create a diamond. You know— around the bases. I was thinking of building a new backstop, too. Do you think Burns could get me the supplies needed to do that?"

"Wow. That sounds like quite a project for a guy who's just going to go back to the caverns."

"It's for the kids," he replied.

I couldn't help but wonder if that was the reasoning he had in his head, or if he planned on staying a lot longer than Wanda was hoping for.

"Well, sure, if you want to undertake a project like that, then I'm not going to stop you. Are you going to get Blake and Carlos to help you?"

"If they're up for it. Actually, me and Holly started it yesterday."

I nodded my head in recognition. "You know the boys have school in the mornings, right?"

"Right. I would never interfere with their studies."

"Okay."

I went about my list of chores for the day, which included my morning visit with Maria in our usual place.

"It's a beautiful morning," I called out.

"It is, isn't it?" she replied. "How goes the drama in your love life?"

"Well, I heard from Wanda, but she seemed more interested in how Ian was doing than me."

"That's to be expected. After all, she has a relationship with him."

"I know."

"And Gina? Did you have your little talk?"

"Yes, and I made a fool of myself. It turns out she was impregnated at age fifteen, but some bastard kicked the living crap out of her until she miscarried. She was a basket case for most of the day when we talked."

"Maybe, she's just a very good actress."

"I don't think so. She was distraught, and I could see the devastation in her face. She's not even sure she can get pregnant anymore."

"Well, I hope you aren't taking her word for it."

I patted her hand. "I still use a condom. I don't want to be a father."

"So then, you're still sleeping with her."

"Yes, but I wait for her to approach me."

She made a face. "So, you ignore her?"

"No, yesterday we had words about Wanda, and then she made me jealous, and I jumped on her."

Maria eyebrows shot straight up in acknowledgement. "So, she wields the power."

"No," I said defensively. "I sat with her last night when we watched the movie. She wanted me to kiss her in the living room in front of everyone, and I told her 'no'. Now she's pissed again, so she'll hit on Evan to try and make me jealous."

"Maybe you should just let her be with him."

"I know I should, but I do have feelings for her, and I do get jealous at the thought of someone else making love to her."

"Are you sure you're not 'in love' with her?"

"While I'll admit that I love her, I don't want to spend the rest of my life with her. I don't want to walk down the aisle with her. I don't want her to have my children, and I don't want to wake to her every day. It's nice to have her around when I need her."

"It sounds like you need each other."

"The truth is we do."

"Well, you've only known her for a short time, and you have shown the signs of a man who could fall 'in love' when it comes to her. Don't block out your heart because of what happened to your mother." Maria was referring to the fact that my mother had raised me and my sister on her own because my father died when I was still in grade school of a brain aneurysm. My mother was devastated, and I had always wondered if the same would happen to me.

Silence followed. I placed my hands on my hips and stared out at the beautiful country that surrounded us.

"Is there anything else you want to discuss?"

I swatted at a bug that had invaded my space. "Uncle George. Will you try to get him to take some 'No Pain' for his arthritis? Maybe he'll listen to you. You always seem to come up with a good argument."

"For you? I'll try."

"Not for me. For him." Maria and Uncle George didn't always see eye to eye.

"Okay, Nathan. Have you seen the garden? Some of the corn is starting to show."

"No, but I'll take a walk over there this morning."

"I'll see you at lunch," she cooed.

I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek before going on my way.

I walked out to the baseball field to check on Ian and his project. He and Holly were busy digging up the grass. It was a mess. He would have to get Burns to bring in fresh dirt. As if on cue my phone rang, and it was Burns.

"Hello?

"Hey, buddy. Do you miss me?"

"Of course I do. Why didn't you wake me? I would have gone with you."

"Well, I noticed you were otherwise engaged last night, so I thought you might want to sleep in."

"Was it that obvious?"

"Well, it was to me, but I already know you are sleeping with her. After all, who gets your condoms for you?"

I chuckled. "I guess you have the inside scoop on everyone's sex life on the mountain."

"I do, and that is a secret I will take to the grave."

"Well, she's pissed at me right now because she wanted me to kiss her last night in the living room, and I wouldn't."

"You know, I've known you for four years, and I've never seen you kiss anyone—except for a benign kiss on the cheek or forehead."

"Well, there are only twenty five of us on this mountain, and I intend to keep my private life private, so the thing between me and Gina?"

"I know, take it to my grave."

"That's right. Anyway, not to change the subject, but when you come home, do you think you could stop and pick up some dirt?"

"Dirt? For what?"

"Well, it seems that since you weren't here to give Ian a project, he came up with one on his own. He's decided to dig up the ball field, so he can create a diamond around the bases. Holly has been helping him. The problem is he's got the ground all hacked up and uneven. He's going to need a ton of dirt to make it look right."

"Well, you know I have to get that special. It's not just plain, old dirt."

"How do you know this?"

"I used to go visit my uncle in California. He was a landscaper. One of his jobs was the upkeep of a minor league baseball field."

"Huh, you never cease to amaze me. Well, then I guess you should get whatever it is you need."

"I will. Take care of Ian."

I chuckled. "Hey, I'm just praying he doesn't kill me before you get back."

"Why would he kill you?"

"Who knows? We are talking about Ian."

"Just keep your mouth shut, and you'll be fine."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."

I called out to Ian and Holly and let them know that lunch was going to be burgers at the cave. He acknowledged me, and I went on my way. I hadn't seen Gina all morning. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

She arrived at lunch with Evan. They were laughing and having a good time with each other. It bothered me, but I tried not to show it. Instead, I went over to Maria, and she and I exchanged looks. She let me know that she was aware of the fact that the two of them were together.

"So, what do you have planed for this afternoon?" Maria asked.

"Me and Carl have to dig a new hole for the outhouse."

"Sounds like fun," she said sarcastically.

"Well, it's my turn. Burns and Rob did it last, and Evan and Tom did it before that."

"At least you'll be too busy to pine away for your girlfriend," she quipped.

I responded quickly. "She's not my girlfriend,"

"Which one are you talking about?" she shot back.

I sighed. "Neither."

After lunch, I spent the next four hours digging with Carl. I knew that I'd be pretty sore tomorrow, but it was done. Tomorrow, we would move the outhouse and fill in the old hole. All I wanted to do now was hit the shower. I let Carl go first while I put away the shovels and the wheelbarrow. I ran into Gina along the path to the house.

"What the hell have you been doing?" She asked seeing the fact that I was covered in dirt.

"Digging my grave," I said snidely.

"That's not funny," she shot back.

"Neither is watching you throwing yourself at Evan," I said bitterly.

"Evan and I are just friends."

"I thought we were friends."

"We are friends with benefits," she clarified.

"Are you and Evan friends with benefits?"

"No, if I sleep with him, it will be because he wants me to be his girlfriend," she declared.

"So then, our friendship will be over," I surmised.

"I have to go," she said softly.

I swallowed hard. "I'll see you."

She was gone in a flash. My eyes stung at the thought of not seeing her beautiful body again. I stored away the equipment, and I was running back to the cave when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"It's me, Wanda."

"Hey, pretty lady! How are you?" I slowed to a walk.

"I'm okay. Kyle and I are on another road trip. I thought I'd check in. How are you doing?"

"You know—I'm doing my thing. Burns is out searching for humans. That always keeps me on edge. We humans tend to be a little violent when provoked."

"Yes. I happen to know that first hand. I just spoke to Burns, and he seemed fine. He said he'd be back your way in the morning."

"Yeah. I'll feel better when I see him. He's like a brother to me."

"I know what you mean. He told me that Ian has been working with some of the kids on the ball field."

"Yep, and now he's gone project happy again. He wants to build a backstop, and he's digging up the grass."

"What do you mean—he's digging up the grass?"

"He's creating a diamond around the bases. The boys are helping him out."

"Right, the boys. Burns told me that Holly has been helping, too."

"Well, yeah. She helps." I tried to avoid the subject of Holly considering Ian reamed me a new one for discussing his 'relationship' with her.

"Nate. Is it possible that you could get Ian to call me?"

"Well, right now I'm at the cave. I'll get him to call a little later, okay?"

"Sure. Oh, Nate?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

"Sure, no problem."

I grabbed a clean set of clothes and took my shower. I stopped back at the cave to ditch my dirty clothes before heading to the field. They had given up the dig for the day. I finally found him at the house. He was about to take a shower.

"Wanda called. She wants you to call her."

I handed the phone to Ian. He dialed the phone.

"Hey, Babydoll."…"I've been keeping busy." He walked into his room and shut the door. I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. A few minutes went by and the next thing I heard was Ian cursing to beat the band.

I heard what sounded like him punching the wall. "THAT SON OF A BITCH!" he screamed out. "I'LL KILL HIM!"

I stood up as Ian exited the bedroom. He handed me my phone. It was in two pieces.

"Sorry man," he mumbled and he walked away.

I was in shock.

After a few seconds, I regained my senses, and I ran to him. "What happened?"

"My dick-head brother is fucking my fiancée."

I felt like my head exploded. "She told you that?"

"No, _he_ did."

"I don't believe it."

"Yeah, well, I tried to call her back twice, and she didn't answer. Why do you suppose that is?" he growled.

I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. Ian went into the bathroom and slammed the door. I just stood there trying to make sense of it all. Maybe he was Wanda's Big John. Maybe, he had raped her. I walked out of the house towards the cave. I was upset, but I couldn't tell you exactly why. Was it because I was afraid that he had raped her—or was it because he had done what I couldn't? I wanted to be the one to take her from Ian. _Damn it!_ I spent the rest of the day in my room moping.

That night I didn't hear from Gina which was a good thing because I wasn't in the mood. I went to sleep early.


	11. Chapter 11

**Well, I've been checking my stats on both A Soul's Hope and Nate's Diary. I still have a lot of readers checking out A Soul's Hope, but no one leaves reviews, except you, Siren Renee. I am very appreciative of the beautiful review you left. As for Nate's Diary, I know there are a decent number of readers following, but it seems only a few of you take the time to say anything. I'd like to know how you feel about it…please?**

FRUSTRATION

04/23/11 – I used to be a pretty happy go lucky guy. Now, I'm miserable. I found out yesterday that the girl I've been pining over is sleeping with the guy who was supposed to be her brother-in-law. Ian lost his mind and destroyed my phone. Not only can I not call her, but I can't get in touch with my own best friend, who is out on a mission to locate possible humans. These missions are always dangerous, and he went alone. I will be waiting with bated breath until he returns to us safely.

Besides having to deal with that issue; Gina has got me crazy. Since I came to this mountain the ladies that I bedded have always meant nothing to me with the exception of Nadine, but she never used her own womanly wiles to get back at me. Gina deliberately flaunts herself in front of Evan, and it makes me insane with jealousy. I don't want her to be my girlfriend, but I don't want to let her go either.

When did my life get so damn fucked up? I know if I tell Gina that she can be my girlfriend that it will be only temporary because if Wanda comes back I will only hurt Gina in the hopes I can sleep with Wanda. I don't know if I want to sleep with Wanda because of the fact that she is a soul, or if it's because she is the love of my life. I only know that no matter how hard I try—I just can't seem to get her out of my mind.

I woke early and headed to the house for a quick shower before the rest of the family got up. I was shocked to see that Burns was home. I rushed into the house to find Ian once again screaming at Wanda on the phone in his room.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN I CALLED YOU BACK LAST NIGHT?" He may have been in the other room, but I could hear him plain as day. Thankfully, the only ones in the house were me, Ian, and Burns. A moment later his first statement was followed by "DID YOU SLEEP WITH HIM?"

Then it got quiet. I hoped that it meant that she hadn't. I turned to Burns. "Why did you come home so early?"

"Well, Wanda was flipping out because she called Ian, and they got into an argument, and Kyle decided it might be fun to tease his little brother by telling him that if he didn't want to claim his girl, he was going to take her for himself. Then, when Ian called back, Kyle wouldn't let her have the phone. When she finally commandeered the phone from Kyle, Ian wouldn't answer."

"Because he destroyed my phone. He threw the damn thing against the wall."

"Yeah, Ian told me this morning."

"That boy needs some anger management." This would not be the first time I would say this.

Finally, Ian came out of the bedroom. I approached him first. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes, she didn't sleep with him."

Relief washed over me.

"So, you were worried for nothing," I pointed out.

"I wouldn't say for nothing. Kyle has slept with almost every girlfriend I've ever had," Ian said emphatically.

"Well, you could go back to her. It's what she wants."

He looked directly at me. "How am I supposed to go back to her when there's a part of her that wants you?"

I felt like shit. "That part pales compared to the love she feels for you. If I were in your position, I would go to her and never let her go." _I must be out of my fucking mind encouraging him like this. _I had to get out of there.

I rushed out the back door and ran all the way to the cave. I was looking for Gina because I needed her. I rushed to her room, and when I entered, I walked in on her and Evan in the middle of a make out session.

"Um…I'm sorry." I fled. I took off for the woods. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I finally collapsed on the ground, and I was out of breath. I cried. I don't know why, but I did. I had lost the one girl who gave a shit about me because I was an ass. I got up and realized I had run pretty damn far. I hoped I could find my way back. When I finally did, it was almost lunchtime. I went to my room, and Gina was waiting for me.

"I'm sorry. I was going to tell you," she said in a little voice.

"Did you sleep with him?—Never mind. That's none of my business."

"Nate. The truth is I haven't. I'm sort of afraid to."

"Why? Evan wouldn't hurt you."

"Because I'm afraid he won't measure up to you."

She made me smile.

"I'll break it off if you want me to," she offered.

"My heart tells me to beg you to break it off, but my head knows I would only hurt you. I love you, and I love the moments we spend together, but…"

"I get it." She got up and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. She whispered in my ear. "I love you too, Nathan Downey." She released me and rushed from the room.

I collapsed on my bed and fell asleep.

I spent the next few weeks in a depression. Ever since Gina had hooked up with Evan, I didn't seem to care about a whole lot with the exception of Wanda. I thought about her all the time. A few times, I went to Ian and I asked him if he was ever going to tell her to come back. His standard answer was "she'll come back when she's good and ready. I have to know it's me she wants."

I couldn't understand what his issue was. It's not as if she ever called me. It was Burns she called, and he would find Ian. As the weeks passed, it seemed to me that they talked less and less. I questioned Burns every day to see if she had called.

Although Ian never touched Holly that I could see, Holly was making herself very comfortable with Ian, and he seemed content to coach the kids. Yes, he had a team now. Blake and Carlos had managed to persuade Megan, Sarah, Dean, and even little Ben to meet the 'coach' out on the field everyday for practice.

One afternoon, I went into the house and stumbled upon Gina and Evan lying very comfortably on the couch. They had the TV on, but it was obvious that they were more focused on each other than the TV. I did an about face and left the house. I was pissed. It was at that moment I made a decision. I took a chance and called Wanda.

By some miracle I got through, only it was Kyle who answered, instead of Wanda. I knew I couldn't profess my feelings for her to him, so I decided to take a different approach.

"I was hoping to speak to Wanda."

"She just left. She went into the store to get some things."

"How is she doing?" It was easy to sound concerned because I was.

"Remember how quiet Sunny was when you came to the caverns?"

"Yeah?"

"I think they switched places. Sunny is vivacious and full of life and Wanda… well, she's become a loner. She's very quiet. I think she's giving up."

"She's giving up on Ian?"

"No, she's giving up on life."

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked in the hopes that he would encourage her to call me.

"Come and get her. Drag her back to him… or better yet, kick him off the mountain and make him come back to her."

"I can't kick him off the mountain. Burns made a promise to him."

"But you're the leader, aren't you?"

"I'm not a dictator. Burns owns the land and the house, and he's my best friend. Let me talk to him and see if he's willing to take a trip to see Lily."

"Okay, do me a favor and tell Ian I miss him."

"I will."

Burns was out on a run and had taken Ian with him just to get him off of the mountain. I decided that when he returned, I would approach him with the offer to go to the caverns and extend the offer to Ian as well.

That evening, I caught up to Burns quietly reading in his room.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Good book?"

"Boy in the Striped Pajamas."

"That's a pretty serious read for a soul."

"Yeah, well, I want to remind myself that I'm on the other side of the fence, and I should never let my guard down."

My face became gravely serious. "What, you don't trust us?"

"I don't trust the souls," he explained. "They talk about being peaceful and kind, but the truth is we are ruthless. How can we possibly invade a planet and just wipe out its inhabitants?"

"I believe it's called survival. You need a host to survive."

"We are on ten planets. I'm pretty sure we are surviving just fine."

"Well, I'm grateful to have you on my side." My smile was genuine.

"Thank you. It's nice to feel needed."

"It's more than that. I love you, man."

"Brothers," he reiterated.

"Speaking of love, how would you like to take a little trip?"

"You need more condoms?"

"No, unfortunately, that ship has sailed."

"Sorry."

"It's my own fault. I should have…" I trialed off because I didn't want to think about it. "Anyway, I thought maybe you'd like to see your lady love."

"Lily?"

I made a face. "Do you have another lady love I don't know about?"

His face twisted into a broad smile. "I would love to see her."

"Well, I thought maybe we could go to the caverns for a few days and see if Ian would like to see Wanda."

"Is this about Ian, or the fact that you and Gina have parted ways?"

"I called Wanda, but I spoke to Kyle. He said she's shutting down. I figured it was time to get these two back together."

"And if Ian doesn't want to go?"

"Then, we go without him," I said adamantly.

"Where is he?"

"He was taking a shower when I came in here to see you."

We exited the bedroom and knocked on Ian's door.

"Come in," he called out.

He was gathering his clothes together to do laundry. He turned to us. "I figured no one would be using the laundry room at this time of night. What brings you two here?"

I spoke first. "We're going to the caverns."

"And?" Ian said as he continued shoving his clothes into a large duffel bag.

"And we want you to come with us."

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"Dude, I'm telling you, if you don't go and claim your fiancée, then I'm going to take that as a green light." I said it in hopes that Ian's jealousy would surface, and he would change his mind.

"I asked her to take you with her in the first place. I think it's better if you go and see how it plays out."

"Why are you so willing to give her away?"

"Don't you get it? She's not mine to give away. I never had her," he said sullenly.

He heaved the bag over his shoulder and barged his way out of the room.

I turned to Burns. "Tell me, how does a guy who looks like that end up being so insecure?"

"Not everyone is confident like you Nate."

I took a deep breath. "So, we leave in the morning?"

"Sounds like a plan," Burns said with a smile.

I decided to track down Gina because I wanted her to know that I was leaving. I felt that she was part of the reason for my departure, and I wanted her to know that. Regardless of what my physical status was with her, we were still friends. I found her and Evan playing gin rummy in the main cave with Rachel and Rob.

I made a beeline for her. "Gina, can we talk?"

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I know that we've become pretty good friends since you came here, and I just wanted you to know that I was going to be leaving for a little while."

"Oh." She sounded surprised and unsure how to respond.

"I'll be going in the morning, but I'm sure that Evan and the others can take care of anything you need." I tried to sound official, so the others wouldn't catch on to our history.

She flashed a weak smile. "Thank you. That's sweet of you."

I wasn't sure if she just didn't care, or if she was covering, so no one would know the truth about our recent past. At any rate, I had told her, so I went off to bed. I packed my bag for the trip and read for a little bit before I turned in. I was having a hard time sleeping because I was excited about seeing Wanda again. I didn't hear Gina come in.

"Nate, are you asleep?"

I reached over and turned on my light. "No, not yet."

"Why are you leaving?"

"There's not just one reason," I said truthfully.

"Is it my fault?" she asked.

"It's part of it. Look, I know I said that I would never give you the relationship that you want, but the truth is you gave me the relationship I wanted. A beautiful girl in my bed when I needed her and no strings attached. So, I have to admit it hurts to see you getting along so well with Evan. I've also been thinking a lot about Wanda. I talked to Ian's brother, Kyle and he said that Wanda is shutting down. She's becoming a zombie. I can't stand by and let that happen to her. Ian doesn't want to come with us. He seems to have given up on the relationship. I'm going to the caverns to give her two choices. Either she can come back and reclaim her man, or I will see if I can pursue a relationship with her."

"I'll miss you," she said in a tiny voice.

"I'll miss you, too. I just wanted you to know that I'll be back. I just don't know when."

"Okay."

"In the meantime, don't get knocked up." I opened my drawer and handed her a box of condoms. "You should be able to enjoy your relationship without the fear of pregnancy."

She smiled and took the box from my hand. She looked very sweet in this light.

"Are you sure you just don't want someone other than you knocking me up?" she joked.

I brushed her hair behind her ear and kissed her on the cheek. "Something like that."

"I'll always be here if you need me, Nathan Downey."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me."

She cradled my face in her hands and leaned in and kissed me. It was the type of kiss that should have led to sex, but she pulled away and sucked in her lower lip.

"I hope that's not the last time I kiss you," she whispered as she got to her feet.

I didn't know what to say because deep down I felt the same way.

"Be safe, Nate."

She was gone. Now I really couldn't sleep. I was aroused and rather than suppress it, I decided to deal with it. Ten minutes later my visions of Wanda and Gina sharing my bed in a sorted three-way did the trick, and I was relieved of the tension that had built up inside of me. I rolled over and promptly fell asleep.

Before we left, we woke Ian and tried one more time to persuade him to come with us. He was cranky and cursed us out for waking him up. Needless to say, we left without him. Burns and I took turns driving and got there in good time. We parked at the first garage and took the sedan to the second garage, where the jeep was parked. There was barely enough room to park, but we moved the jeep and managed to squeeze both vehicles into the tight space in the small grotto caused by the odd formation of rocks. We ran the distance to the cavern and were met by Kyle and Travis, who were fully armed and ready to kill until they realized who we were.

"Jesus, I didn't know who the hell you were," Kyle confessed.

"You told us to come!" I reminded him.

"Where's Ian?"

"Still being stubborn," Burns exclaimed.

"Well, go on in. Wanda usually hangs out near the entrance, so don't be surprised if she comes a runnin'."

We entered the cave. I immediately noticed the lantern on the floor. Wanda had fallen asleep with her head propped up against the wall. I gently kicked her foot. She lifted her head off the wall and opened her eyes. The sight of her beautiful green eyes made me smile.

"Hey, Beautiful!"

"Nate?"

"In the flesh!" I put my arms out to receive her.

"Oh my God!" She jumped to her feet and flung herself into my arms. "What are you doing here?" She moved to Burns and hugged him as well. He picked her up off the floor like she was rag doll and hugged her.

"I missed Lily, so Nate said he'd come with me."

I couldn't help but grab her hand. "Especially if it means spending time with you," I added with a smile.

Suddenly, the joy on her face changed. "Where is Ian?"

Burns was quick to speak. "He didn't come. Nate asked him. He told him that we were going and asked if he wanted to come, too."

"Excuse me." She pulled her hand from mine and bolted through the tunnels.

"Wanda!" I called out to her. She didn't stop. My immediate reaction was to chase after her only I had no idea where she might go. I saw several people along the way who welcomed me to the caverns, but when they saw my distress, they could only point me in the direction of the places she might be. Finally, I gave up and went back to Kyle, since he was the one person who seemed to be closer to her than the others. I hadn't seen Burns. I could only assume he went looking for Lily. Kyle asked me to wait in the kitchen while he looked for Wanda. I sat with Candy and Doc, who both assured me that if anyone could find her, it would be Kyle. Eventually, Melanie and Jared entered and informed me that Kyle had found her and had brought her to Lily's room. He asked that we give him some time with her. I thought this was odd considering he supposedly did not have a relationship with her, but I heeded his plea. After a while, Burns came to me and said he was going to see her. I wasn't going to let him go without me. We were silent as we approached Lily's room. She was lying on the mattress much the way that Gina had, when she was upset about the pregnancy conversation. Kyle was lying with her, and he was holding her tightly in a protective way.

"How long has she been like this?" I asked.

"You mean dead inside?" Kyle responded to my question.

I didn't know what else to say. Burns and I left them alone. I hoped things might be better in the morning. Instead, I went looking for Jeb.

He had replaced Kyle on guard duty, and that is where I found him.

"Hey, Jeb."

"Nate, good to see you again. It's too bad you couldn't get Ian to come back with you."

"It's not as if we didn't try," I replied. "I want to take her back. I believe that if I just got the two of them together, that things will work themselves out."

"I thought you were part of the problem in the first place. How is taking her back to your turf going to help?"

"I don't deny that I have feelings for her that even I can't explain, but she is obviously hurting, and he's just a stubborn mule."

Jeb chuckled. "That's our Ian. Okay, I'll talk to her in the morning. Would you mind if I came along for the trip?"

"I would be honored. I know Jamie really wanted to go, too, but with Mel being pregnant and all…"

"I'll talk to them, too."

"Thanks Jeb. I'm gonna hit the hay."

In the morning, it had spread throughout the caverns that Jeb and Wanda were leaving on a road trip. Burns opted to stay behind and visit with Lily for a while until Jeb returned. Jamie got the go ahead from Mel and Jared to accompany us as well. Wanda was once again in tears as she said good bye to her friends. I did most of the driving. Wanda asked if we not stop at the campground because she had a legitimate fear, so I pressed on and pulled into a little motel along the way. She was itching to get to the mountain, so we left during the daylight hours, and she drove while the rest of us lounged in the back of the van. Everything was going smoothly until we got into the town I called home. Wanda was at a stoplight.

"Someone's coming towards me. Hide," Wanda said quickly. A metal plate separated the front of the van from the back. It rose as high as the console, so the three of us scooted up against the plate and ducked as low as we could. Wanda leaned out of the window.

"Excuse me, aren't you Burns's niece?" the woman asked.

"Yes. My name is Rainbow Ashes. Most people call me Ashley. It's more human," Wanda said loudly and clearly.

"Nice to meet you, Ashley. Burns left a few days ago. He said he'd be back in a few weeks."

"I know. I'm starting college in the fall, and I have a ton of reading that I need to accomplish for my English major. He told me I could stay at his place because I need the peace and quiet to concentrate."

"Oh, if there's anything you need, my name is Fluttering. Fluttering in the Wind."

"I'm sure I'll be fine. Thank you, though, for your concern."

Wanda rolled the window up half way and pulled through the green light.

"Damn, that was close!" Jamie whispered.

"Good thinking on the fly!" I commended her. "That's my girl!"

It was after dinner when we pulled into the driveway and around to the back of the house. Wanda jumped out of the van as soon as it came to a stop and left the keys in the ignition. She bounded up the back stairs and into the house. A minute later she returned and walked towards me.

"Can you please get everyone out of the house? Tell them to come back tomorrow." It was an order, not a request.

"Uh, sure," I replied.

"Okay." She walked away towards the cave.

I heeded her request and drove the kids out of the house. The ladies were in the kitchen finishing up the dishes, and I told them we needed the house. They were good about it. Maria, who was supposed to have the day off, seemed very happy to have me home. I scolded her for working too hard, and she in turn teased me, saying that I rushed home because I missed Gina. I couldn't deny that I had thought about Gina a few times, but it was more because I worried about her than anything.

I thought it best if I stayed out of sight for the rest of the evening, so I accompanied Maria and Jeb back to the cave. Jamie took off with Megan and Sarah. I was happy to see that the girls had taken him under their wing. Maria and I settled in the main cave to play a game of scrabble. Jeb sat and watched. I could have easily beaten her, but I never let her know that. The conversation between them flowed easily once I threw out a topic. Being Indian, Maria knew a lot about the soil, the trees, and the plant life. Jeb being Jeb, well, he knew a lot about everything it seemed. It was an interesting conversation, and I soaked up everything I could.

Afterwards, the three of us set up bedding for Jeb and Jamie. Although I knew that Wanda had requested no one enter the house, Maria took Jeb up to use the bathroom. I set off to find Jamie. I found him in Megan's room talking away with the girls. I did not see Gina.

"Have either of you seen Gina?"

"She always comes in late," Megan replied.

"Yeah, she's always smooching with her boyfriend!" Sarah said in a sing songy voice.

Her comment stung, but I didn't let on. "Jamie, time for you to go to bed."

"Aw Nate! I was having fun," he whined.

"Plenty of time for fun tomorrow."

Jamie got up and dragged his body towards me.

"Don't worry. It's not as if they are going anywhere," I joked as I pat him on the shoulder.

Jeb returned from the house, and I left my visitors for the night.

I had retired to my bed, and I was about to turn out the light when Gina flew into the room and jumped on my bed.

"You're home!" she squealed.

"Yep, it seems nobody wants me," I teased.

"Nate, you know that's not true. I want you." She fell forward into my lap.

"I'm told you have a boyfriend."

"It's not that serious."

"But it could be, and I don't want to mess that up. I already did that with Ian and Wanda."

"So, you won't make love to me?" She sounded a bit wounded.

"Gina, what about Evan? Surely he satisfies you."

"Nate. I haven't slept with him. I don't want him to think I'm a whore. Besides I have you. You said we had the perfect relationship."

"Gina, if he found out, you could lose him before you even have him. Do you want that?"

"I want you," she crooned in a seductive voice.

I couldn't deny that I wanted her, too. I knew, if I let her touch me, I would lose what little control I possessed.

"How did you know I was home?"

"Megan and Sarah told me."

"And they know you came to see me?"

"Well…yeah."

"Gina you have to go. If you stay, they'll figure out what's going on."

"Nathan!" she whined.

"I'm doing this to protect you."

"Are you sure you're not doing this to protect yourself?" she said in an accusatory voice.

"Gina, I don't want to argue with you. I care about you. I might even love you but…"

"I can't believe you. This is all about her. You know what? I hate you!" she shrieked.

She backed off the bed.

"Gina, don't be like that."

"I hope you end up all alone!"

"Gina!" I cried as she stormed out the door.

_Fuck! _I picked up my book and threw it at the wall. She always knew how to push my buttons. My past conquests were never able to anger me like she could. I turned out the light and rolled over. It took a long time to fall asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**So, I'm still writing even though most of you never say a word to me about the story. It's a bit depressing, but those of you who do take the time to review, always lift my spirits and give me valued opinions...even you my darling Ladaane. I appreciate that. Thank you.**

REJECTED

05/23/2002 – After weeks of loneliness, I'd made the decision to go back to the caverns in the hopes Wanda would greet me with as much enthusiasm as I had for her. Instead, I found a despondent shell of what was once a beautiful vibrant woman. It wasn't until she was told by Jeb to go back to get Ian that she came to life. I've been rejected yet again.

In the meantime, Gina says she hates me and wishes nothing but more loneliness for me. It would be so easy to take her from Evan, but how long would I be happy? How long would she be happy? I know damn well, if Wanda were to ask me to be with her, I would drop Gina in a heartbeat to be with Wanderer and that would be so unfair to her.

We came home last night, and I haven't seen Ian or Wanda since. I can only assume that it was a good reunion for them. If not, then, I don't know if I should be there to comfort her, or if I should stay out of the foray. At this point, I guess I should play it by ear and just stay out of the way of all women…with the exception of Maria, of course.

I hadn't had a decent shower in days, so I got up early and headed for the house. It was quiet. I took a nice long soothing shower and returned to the cave. Jeb was up.

"Would you like to take a shower?"

"Ain't cha got a tub?" he asked.

"Sure. It's not as big as yours, but it does have a Jacuzzi."

"Oh right. I remember seeing it last night. I can make my way. Can you wake Jamie after a bit? I don't want him to sleep all day."

"Sure."

No sooner had Jeb gone when Megan showed up. "Can I wake him?"

"Are you going to kiss him?" I teased.

"Ha-ha!" she countered.

"You get him up. I'll be back in a minute, and we'll head on up to the house."

I poked my head into Megan's room. Both Sarah and Gina were still asleep. I continued to my room to put away my dirty clothes and hang up my wet towel. By the time I returned to the main cave, Jamie was awake. Jeb came out of the bathroom just as we got to the house. Jamie raced in to take his place. Megan immediately hit the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. She knew that the elders would be here soon enough, and they looked forward to their first cup of coffee.

I planted myself on the couch, and the others eventually joined me. I knew that Ian and Wanda were awake because I could hear them laughing and carrying on in the bedroom. Finally, Wanda bolted from the room laughing as if she was trying to get away from Ian in a silly game of tag. Ian followed her a moment later.

"Hello, Beautiful!" I said cheerfully. She looked happy, and she certainly looked beautiful.

She came directly to me, plopped down on my lap, and put her arms around my neck. Her smile was infectious. "Thank you. You are the best!" she sang out, and then, she kissed me on the cheek.

"Hey, now!" Ian barked.

"I'm just glad you're happy." I _was_ glad. I just wished it could have been with me.

"I am happy." She jumped to her feet and floated like an angel across the room to Jeb. "Good morning, Jeb." She kissed him on the cheek. Jamie was waiting for his turn. "Good morning, Jamie!" She didn't kiss him but rather gave him a big hug. I couldn't help but wonder if it was because out of all of us Jamie was technically the closest to her in age.

"Damn! She's just beautiful to watch," Ian said. I couldn't agree more with him.

"Good morning, Megan!" She hugged her as well, even though, Megan and Wanda barely knew each other.

"Wanderer, I'm hungry," Ian announced.

He looked at the others. "Have any of you eaten breakfast yet?"

Jamie answered. "We just had cereal."

"Wanderer, will you go in the kitchen and see what we have in the fridge?" It sounded more like an order than a request.

"O-kaay," she said tentatively.

Everyone picked up on her uncertainty.

"I'll be in to help you in a few minutes. Please, Babydoll."

As soon as Wanda left the room, Ian turned to me. "Can we talk...outside?"

I followed Ian outside, and we stepped to the bottom of the back porch.

"Look, I want you to know that I am grateful to you for bringing her back here. She made it very clear that she missed me, and that I am the one she wants to be with."

I didn't know what to say. While it was true I had brought her back, my motives were purely selfish.

"But I want you to know that after last night, she is my property now. I have no intentions of giving her up. I know she has feelings for you, and I would appreciate it if you would keep your hands to yourself. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal but…"

"There are no buts. Don't even think about coming between us."

He turned and walked back up the stairs. I wasn't about to get into a physical altercation with him. He was bigger than me, and I was never known to be a fighter. On the contrary, my power was in my scheming, and in my eyes, he had just issued a challenge. I quietly followed him into the house. Wanda was waiting for us.

"Is everything all right?" she asked.

"Yes, let's make everyone some breakfast. What have we got?" Ian replied. The venom in his voice from a minute ago was gone.

"Bacon and eggs," she replied.

Ian ushered Wanda into the kitchen. I joined Jeb and the others on the couch. It was only a few minutes later when Wanda came back to the living room and took me by the hand.

"Take a walk with me?"

I was hesitant.

"Please?"

She pulled me out the back door.

"I know what Ian said to you. I forced him to tell me. I'm sorry about that. It was rude of him." She spoke with sincerity.

In the few minutes I had to think about this, I knew that for now the best thing to do was tell her what she wanted to hear. I had to be the good guy, even though, I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her. "It's okay, Wanda. I completely understand. You made your choice, and so did he. You _do_ belong to each other. I don't know that I wouldn't have said the same thing, had the shoe been on the other foot."

"Thank you. It's just going to take awhile for Ian to believe that I would never do anything to hurt him. You know?"

"I know."

"So, I just want you to know that if I seem distant, it's not because I don't think of you as a friend…a very good friend."

"I know. Be happy."

"I love you," she crooned in a little voice. I was surprised, but very pleased to hear her say it.

"I love you, too."

She leaned into my chest and hugged me for a long time. I kissed the top her head. I couldn't go back in the house and have Ian gloat over his 'property', so I opted to head back to the cave. I lounged in my room. I wasn't in the mood to run into any women right now. I settled in and read a novel based on Jack the Ripper. At least Jack was able to act upon his rage on the women in his life.

By lunchtime, I was starving since I bailed on breakfast. I headed to the outside of the cave where the fixings for hot dogs and beans were set up on folding tables along with chips and beverages. I saw Wanda. She was alone. I wasn't going to take a chance on Ian walking up on a conversation and deciding that I was still pursuing her, even though, in my mind, this battle was far from over. I would wait for my chance to turn on my charm.

I also saw Gina hanging with Nadine. Evan was no where to be seen, so it seemed likely that he was with Ian and the others at the ball field, which everyone knew was Ian's stomping grounds. Gina scowled at me from twenty feet away, so I opted to keep my distance from her as well. Priscilla was the one who approached me.

"Mommy said to come and eat with us."

"Okay, princess. I'll be right there."

Sarah appeared, and she headed straight for me. "Can I sit with you?" she asked innocently.

"Sure. I'm sitting with Kim and Priscilla."

Sarah joined us, and we had a nice lunch.

"Megan said that Ian is going to have practice after lunch. Do you want to go?" Sarah asked.

"I'll be out in a little bit. I need to do some work I have been neglecting. You go and have some fun."

"Okay," she answered cheerfully.

After lunch, I took the opportunity to do an inventory. I hadn't done one in nearly two weeks, so I knew we were probably low on a lot of supplies. There was a lot of inventory. I decided to take a break when I finished the storeroom in the cave and headed out to the ball field. As I approached from the outfield, I saw Wanda walking swiftly in my direction. At first, I thought maybe she was coming out to greet me.

"Hey, Beautiful!" I called out.

It was then, that I saw her wiping the tears from her face.

"Hey? What's wrong?"

She tried to storm her way past me, but I grabbed her around the waist to stop her. "Wanda, talk to me!"

"It's Ian! Why is he being so mean?" I held tightly to her hands, so she couldn't pull away.

"Oh." Wanda had never seen Ian coach. He had a habit of 'laying down the law', so the kids would obey him.

Ian and Jamie were arguing. It was obvious that Jamie was sticking up for Wanda.

"Look, it's just his coaching style. It's nothing against you personally. It's about respect. Jamie is arguing with him now. If he can't control the field, then he loses all respect and no one will learn because they will only listen when they want to. Wanda, you have to run. If you love him, you will run. You'll destroy him if he can't coach these kids."

"Okay, okay!" I released her wrists. She turned and ran back to the bench. Ian and Jamie stopped arguing and drew their attention to Wanda. She grabbed her glove and jogged around the perimeter of the field. In the end, Wanda jogged back to third base and wiped away her tears with her forearm.

Ian stepped towards her and said aloud, "Thank you." He paused as he continued towards her. "Does anyone else have any problems with me?"

They all yelled "NO!"

"All right, let's continue. Ben, go ahead," he ordered. Ian kissed her on the cheek. Everything was good.

I had an idea, but I needed to clear it with Ian first. "COACH! Can I talk to you for a second?"

"What do you need Nate?" he said as he walked towards me.

"I was wondering if you'd like me to see if I can get enough people together to make two teams for a game tomorrow."

"And here I thought you were going to yell at me for being tough on Wanderer."

"Well, I think that my opinion is not going to change your mind. You might have explained your style of coaching to her before you ranked on her though."

"I suppose you have a point."

"She's okay now. I think she understands and hopefully she won't give you anymore trouble."

"I guess I should thank you."

"No need. What about that game?"

"Sounds good. Isn't it supposed to rain?"

"I think they are saying it will rain tonight and clear up in the morning."

"Okay, sounds like a plan." Ian backed away and ran back to home plate.

"Hang in there, Beautiful!" I called out to Wanderer. I was sure it bugged Ian that I called her beautiful, but I didn't care.

The rest of the day went without incident. I stayed to myself and completed my inventory. After dinner, I took a walk into the woods and visited my mother's grave.

"Hi, Mom. I'm still alive and kickin'. Kim is doing okay, and Priscilla is beautiful. She looks more and more like you every day. Uncle George is getting old. I try to get him to come to the house as often as I can. I told him he could sleep on the couch, but he won't. He said he'd rather die of pneumonia like you did than to risk being caught by those parasites." I chuckled. "He still doesn't trust Burns. Like I said, he's old, and he's set in his ways. Oh, I forgot to mention, we have a new soul in town. Her name is Wanda, Wanderer really. She's young and beautiful and there's something about her. I can't put my finger on it. I'm so drawn to her. It must be the curse of the Downey men. I can remember Dad telling the story of how the first time he met you, he told his best friend he was going to marry you, even though you were in a relationship with another. He said he was persistent, and you finally gave him a chance. My dilemma is she's engaged to someone else. He's human like me, and their relationship is tumultuous. I know she loves him, but I can't help but think that I would be so much better for her. He's already tried to kill her. I mean, granted it was before he knew that she was harmless, but still, I could never hurt her. I don't know, Mom. I wish I could just erase her from my head, but I can't. It seems like the harder I try, the more she invades my thoughts."

I sat quietly for awhile. You would think I was waiting for some divine sign from her. Finally I spoke again. "Maria's doing well. I go to her for advice. She's very smart, but I don't think she realizes the depths of my feelings for Wanda. Oh, and there's another girl, Gina. Mom, she's been through hell. I want to cry every time I think about her. She has feelings for me, and I care about her too, but I'm so afraid that I'll hurt her. I already have, and now, she's not talking to me. I want to go to her and make things right because I miss being with her. I just don't know if it's because I like sleeping with her, or if it's because of something more." I was silent again. I stood up. A tear fell onto my cheek. "I love you, Mom. I miss you." I turned and walked away.

I decided to take a bath in the Jacuzzi. Luckily, there was no one using the bathroom, so I announced to the crowd watching the TV that I was going to take a hot bath. A few of the ladies jumped up to use the facilities before I commandeered the room. One of those ladies was Gina. She made eye contact with me, and I quickly stared at ground. I hoped Evan didn't make the connection.

It was strange taking my bath knowing that Ian and Wanda were only a room away enjoying each others company. Meanwhile, Evan and Gina were snuggling in the living room. I felt very alone.

That night, I didn't sleep well. I wished Gina would make one of her unannounced visits to my room. Tonight, I would welcome her because I missed her, and I needed her. She never came. In the morning, I slept late. The teens were already up and gone. It was Saturday, and I knew that Megan and Sarah liked to watch the Saturday cartoons. I could only assume Jamie had gone with them.

Since I had bathed last night, I grabbed my toothbrush and towel and washed up at the washing station outside the cave. It was raining, so I knew the house would probably fill up quickly. Nadine suddenly approached me in a panic.

"Nate! The shades are down at the house!"

"What? Which shades?"

"The green shades!"

"Are you sure they didn't pull the wrong shades by mistake?"

"I don't know! I wasn't about to go find out!"

"Okay, get everyone in the cave. I'll go investigate." I dropped my toothbrush and towel at the entrance to the cave and hightailed it to the house. The shades were indeed drawn. I stayed in the woods and moved cautiously around to the side of the house, where I could get a view of the driveway, and sure enough, there was a car in the driveway that wasn't ours. _Shit! _Who's in the house? Wanda, Ian, and some of the kids? _Shit! _My stomach started to turn at the thought that the children might be caught. I squatted to watch, and I could feel my legs shaking. I finally had to sit on my ass. _Please let them be all right._ I had no idea how long ago whoever was here had arrived. It had already been a good twenty minutes since Nadine had found me. Finally, I saw a lone female walk around to the driver's side of the car. She got in and drove away. Had she come alone? Or had she left someone behind while she went for reinforcements? I wanted to bolt for the house, but the rule was if the green shades were drawn, then stay out. I continued to wait, although, I was on my feet again. After about five minutes, the shades were raised, and I ran for the house. I couldn't get up the back porch steps fast enough. I burst through the back door to find Ian, Wanda, Megan, Sarah, and Jamie in the living room watching cartoons as if nothing had happened.

"What the hell happened?" I blurted out.

Jamie spoke. "Wanda had a visitor. We hid in the bedroom. It's okay, now."

"Since when does Wanda have friends?" I demanded.

Jamie continued to answer the questions. "It was that crazy lady from town; the one who stopped us at the traffic light."

I took a minute to calm down. My heart was racing, and my mind was filled with every horrible thought imaginable. The truth was I didn't want the clan returning to the house right now, so it made sense to come up a reason to keep everyone where they were.

"Wanderer was amazing. She even got cake." Ian was bragging.

I took a deep breath. I had to think fast. "Well, I came up here to let you know that everyone is at the cave, and they've asked if Wanda could tell them some of her stories."

Again, it was Jamie who spoke. "Oh, tell them the one about the bears! Rides the Beast!"

Ian put his arm around Wanda's neck. "Yes, Babydoll. Tell him about how you rode the beast," he smirked.

Wanda elbowed him in the stomach.

_What an asshole. _I knew he said it just to piss me off, and he had. _I'll show you a beast. My dick would measure up any day dude, any day._

Wanda spoke bringing me out of my ire. "Come on kids. I'll tell you my best story."

She turned her back on Ian and hooked her arm into Jamie's leading him towards the door. I could only assume that she didn't appreciate his bragging either.

Everyone was at the caves. Wanda told them her bear tale, and then Jeb told some stories, too. He told stories about Wanda and Mel. It was basically the same story that I had heard at the cave, but from Jeb's point of view. When Jeb talked about Ian trying to strangle Wanda, I looked over, and I could see Wanda trying to comfort him. _What the hell? He should be comforting her!_

By the end of the story, Jeb was singing Ian's praises again, and Ian took the moment to show his audience that he loved Wanderer, the soul, by kissing the back of her neck, where the tiny alien lay protected beneath the scar. I wasn't sure how to feel about that, considering he had seen her in her natural form, and I had never seen a soul with my own eyes. I was reminded of the fact that this entity was not really human at all, but used this gorgeous body to live her life here among the humans.

I thought of Gina at that moment. She was at the back of the crowd with her head resting on Evan's chest. He had his arm around her in a protective way. Gina was human through and through. What I had with her was real, and I gave it up for a dream. _A damn dream!_

By the end of the meeting, most of the family was sympathetic to Wanda's plight, and many of them approached her and offered their support. Gina and Evan took off towards the house. I was alone. I was about to head for my room when Ian called out to me.

_Great. Is he going to brag some more?_

I turned to him.

I was abrupt with him. "What do you want, Ian?"

"Whoa! What's your problem?"

"Oh, I don't know. Why don't you take your fiancée and let her ride the beast again."

Ian chuckled, but then reeled it in. "Oh, that. Sorry, dude. It's just that I've waited so long to seal the deal with her. It was better than I thought it would be—with her being so young and all."

_What the fuck! She was a virgin?_

"Wait. You mean…"

Ian creased his forehead. "Did you think I pounced on her as soon as they placed her in that body?"

I didn't know what to say. I didn't say anything.

Ian shook his head. "Look, I shouldn't have said anything. Forget it. It's not the reason I came to you."

"Why _did_ you come to me?"

He took a deep breath. "I wanted to build some dugouts for the field. I was hoping you would allow me and Wanda to go into town or wherever to get the supplies needed for that."

My ire had surfaced. "Why do you want to build a dugout if you and Wanda are just going to leave to go back to the caverns?"

"Look, I may not particularly like you, but I like it here on the mountain. I was hoping to spend as much time as I can here."

_Hmmm, if he's here then Wanda would be, too._

"You'll continue to coach the kids?"

"Absolutely."

"Fine, we'll to tomorrow to get the supplies needed. I know my way around. There's a Home Depot a few towns away. We should be back before lunch."

"All right. Thanks."

Ian turned and walked away. I looked over to where Wanda was talking to Jeb. She seemed genuinely happy and I…I was fucking miserable.


	13. Chapter 13

**For what it's worth, here it is.**

FIRE AND ICE

05/24/2002 – Well, it seems that all of the luck I had in previous weeks has left me high and dry. Wanda, who I only just found out was a virgin, has given herself completely to Ian. They both seem to be incredibly happy. I could kick myself for not going to the caverns with her as Ian had told me to do so many weeks ago. I might have been the one to take her virginity and possibly her heart.

Gina. God, I fucked that one up, too. I was so focused on my impossible dream with Wanda that I completely ignored what was right in front of me willing to give me whatever I wanted. She was so sweet, too. I am a fool.

Today, I am off on a road trip with the two happy lovers. This should be interesting. I should probably get up and shower. I'm sure Ian is already waiting since it seems that he always takes his projects very seriously. One thing I can say about him, he's a hard worker.

I closed my journal and sprang from my bed. I was excited to see Wanda and curious as to how this day would play out. Putting Ian and I in a confined space with no where to go should prove to be interesting if not just a bit scary. I reminded myself to think before I spoke so as not to incur his wrath.

As I exited the shower, I heard Gina's voice in the living room. She was talking with Max and Miranda.

I entered the living room. "Good morning all!" I said in a cheerful voice.

"Good morning," Max and Miranda each replied.

Gina said it after the fact, but I could tell by the tone of her voice that she only said it to be polite in their presence.

"Have you seen Ian and Wanda this morning?"

Gina shot me the most venomous look.

"They were in the kitchen, but they went back into the bedroom," Miranda replied.

"Thanks. I'll be taking a road trip with them. We should be back around lunch. Would you make sure the others know?"

"Sure," Max replied. "You be careful out there."

"We'll be fine. Wanda will be doing the driving."

Again, Gina glared at me.

I sat in the big chair, laid my head back, and closed my eyes as I waited for the lovebirds to appear. Gina resumed her conversation with Max and Miranda.

"So, anyway, I don't know if you could help me," Gina said.

"Well, of course we can help you. How much schooling did you have before the takeover?" Miranda asked.

"I was thirteen. I had just started eighth grade. I was in an advanced program. The town I grew up in was all about giving the students the best education they could. I was supposed to be on the fast track to the IB program."

I loved listening to Gina talk. She had the most lilting and soothing voice. She was obviously smart, and I thought it was admirable that she would want to continue her education even though; she would be older than all the others that Max and Miranda taught.

"What were the last classes you took?" Max asked.

She giggled. "Well, it's been six years but I was taking advanced English. We were reading 'Diary of Anne Frank' in class and at home I was reading 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. I didn't get to finish either book."

"I have to say that is some pretty advanced reading for a thirteen year old."

"Well, English was my favorite subject."  
>"What about the other subjects?" Miranda pressed.<p>

"I took algebra in seventh grade, and I was taking geometry when I left to go into hiding."

"Who did you go into hiding with?"

"My Science teacher, Mr. Browning. I stayed after school to work on a project, and I was looking out the window. I noticed a school bus, and I saw them forcing people into the bus. Not kids. Grown ups."

At this point, I snapped my head up because I wanted to hear this. I stood up and approached the trio.

"I called Mr. Browning to look out the window. Over the last few days, I had noticed that some of the other kids were wearing sunglasses in class. I remember thinking it was odd. My parents did it, too. Mr. Browning told me we had to run. He said I shouldn't go home. I was scared, but I trusted him, so I went with him."

I instinctively reached up and gently rubbed her back.

"What happened to Mr. Browning?" Max asked.

"Um…" She hesitated. "We became part of a group, and after a few years, I left and he stayed behind."

I wanted to pull her into my arms because I knew at that moment that Mr. Browning was one of the men who, in Gina's words, 'took her when he needed her'. I tried to change the subject.

"So, you were a smart fart in school, huh?"

She smiled weakly. "I was, but I'd probably look like an idiot next to the kids on the mountain."

"Well, with your willingness to learn, I'm sure Max and Miranda will bring you up to speed in no time," I assured her.

I wanted to touch her face. She was smiling, but I could see the sadness in her eyes.

Miranda reached out and grabbed her hand. "That's right. We can start today if you like."

"Yes, I'd like that."

"Come on." Miranda pulled her towards the door.

I couldn't take it. "Gina?"

She stopped and turned to face me. I walked to her and engulfed her in my arms. "I'm proud of you," I whispered.

"Thanks," she said in a little voice.

I felt pain as I let her go. She rushed out the door. I just stood there with my hands on my hips as I stared at the door, wishing I had the guts to let go of my obsession and beg her to come back to me.

At that moment, Wanda and Ian entered the living room laughing and carrying on.

"Hey!" Wanda chirped happily.

"Hey." I replied less than enthusiastically.

"Something wrong?" Wanda asked obviously concerned by my lack of fervor.

"No. Are we ready to go?"

"Ready." Ian stated. "Let's rock."

Ian and I climbed into the back of the van. Wanda drove. At first, we were quiet. I was reflecting on this morning's conversation in the living room.

"Wanda?" I called to her.

"Yes, Nate?"

"Before we go to the Home Depot, could you make a quick side trip to the book store?"

"Sure. What is it you need?"

"Max and Miranda requested a couple of books. I'll write them down for you. There should be paper in the glove compartment and there's a pen in your visor."

Wanda handed me the pen and paper, and I wrote the names of three books on the paper. As I handed the paper and pen back to her, I spoke. "Also, whatever book is on the best seller list would be great."

"You know most books these days are love stories with happy endings," she reminded me.

"I know. I'm just grateful they haven't destroyed the old books."

"Well, books are filled with human emotion, and souls come into the bodies with human memories, so I guess for now they can still relate to the books written by their predecessors."

I didn't answer her. Instead my thoughts went to the future. Would the next generation be nothing but mind numbing, emotionless souls?—or would the passage of time and the human emotion become part of them just as the bodies they possessed changed as civilized society had changed man through the centuries?

Ian snapped me from my thoughts.

"I want to thank you."

My eyes met his. "For what?"

"For bringing her back to me."

"You're just damn lucky she chose you. When I got to the caverns and she jumped into my arms, I'll admit I was praying she'd be so grateful that I had come for her, that she'd change her mind and choose me over you."

"See, Babydoll. I told you I didn't believe it. He just admitted that he had ulterior motives," Ian declared to Wanda.

Wanda looked in the rear view mirror as she spoke. "Regardless of what Nate hoped, he knew."

"Hey. A guy can dream can't he?" I said in my defense.

"That's the only way you'll have her is in your dreams," Ian snarled.

"Ian, be nice," she scolded. "Talk about something else. Talk about baseball."

Ian heeded her wishes, and we began to talk about baseball. After about a half hour into the baseball conversation, it took a sharp turn back to Wanda.

It was Ian who started it. "You were slick choosing Wanderer on your team."

"I knew it would drive you insane." I started to laugh. "When she started showing skin, I thought you were going to explode!"

Ian wasn't laughing. "It's too bad you have to resort to cheap tricks to win."

"I'd do it again, too," I smirked knowing it irked the shit out of him.

"Stop it. Both of you, right now, or I'll turn around and take you both back."

The queen had spoken. I was reminded of the promise I had made to myself this morning. I didn't relish the idea of being pummeled in the back of this van.

Wanda stopped at the Barnes and Noble first, and she quickly returned with all of the books I requested.

"Awesome, thank you," I trilled.

"You're very welcome."

We continued to our next destination. Wanda pulled into the parking lot of the Home Depot store, and Ian handed her the list.

"If you get confused, call me." He turned his attention to me. "You have your phone, right, Nate?"

"Sure, we'll be right here."

"Be good and no fighting," Wanda ordered.

"Scouts honor, Beautiful."

"Okay."

She left us in the van. It was a warm day, and it didn't take long before it was pretty hot inside the van. We didn't speak to each other, probably for fear that anything we said would only lead to Wanda, and that would obviously lead to a fight. I laid my head back against the side of the van and shut my eyes. I thought about Wanda. My mind drifted to the fact that Ian had said that sex with Wanda was better than he had expected. I figured that she must have drawn on her memories of Melanie and Jared and the sex they enjoyed to allow herself to be free with Ian. After all, Melanie and Jared had been together for several years. She probably had plenty of those memories. It made me think about the dynamic between Wanda and Jared. It was easy for me to picture the women I had slept with naked. My mind immediately went to Gina and those damn perfect breasts. Nadine had a pretty face, but she had had a baby, and her body was scarred from the stretch marks and the c-section from the birth of Ben. Her breasts were small compared to Gina's. Rachel was very pretty, but she was thicker in the legs and hips, which wasn't a bad thing, but I preferred the lean legs that both Wanda and Gina possessed. My dick began to play along with my thoughts, and I pulled my knees up, so Ian wouldn't see the hard-on that I was now sporting.

Suddenly, I heard Wanda's voice outside the van. She was talking to someone. She was speaking rather loudly trying to convince him that she was fine and could load the lumber herself. Ian quickly scrambled to grab the bottle of chloroform that they kept under the seat for situations that might arise. He handed it to me.

"I'll grab him. You knock him out," he whispered.

I nodded my head in agreement.

The door opened, and Ian grabbed the unsuspecting man in a choke hold and dragged him into the van. I pressed the rag soaked in chloroform to the man's face, while Ian struggled to hold him. Seconds later, the man passed out.

"Wanderer, get the wood in the van," Ian ordered. I pulled the sheets of plywood from Wanda as she handed them to me. I placed them on the floor of the van while Ian pulled the man's limp body tight up against the side of the van to allow room for the wood. Once the plywood was in, Ian let the man's body flop on top of the plywood. Then he began to help me pull the lumber into the van. The last item was a package of roofing tiles that Wanda couldn't lift off of the float. Ian jumped out of the van, grabbed the package, and tossed it in. He jumped back in and slammed the door shut. Wanda quickly ran around to the driver's side, jumped in, and started the engine.

"Drive like nothing has happened," I said calmly.

She pulled out of the lot and headed for the highway.

"I'm so stupid!" she lamented. "I didn't even think about how big the wood was going to be!"

"It's not your fault," I said trying to comfort her. "None of us thought of it."

"But I've done this several times with Kyle. I always remembered with him."

About half way home, the man started to regain consciousness. "Give him another dose," Ian ordered. "I don't want him to panic and shred his brain. I need Wanderer to be here with him when he wakes up. She can keep him calm." I did as I was told since I was new to this. I had only caught humans, not souls.

When we got back to the house, we carried him to the root cellar. Jeb and Wanda went in with him. Jeb carried a gun with him as a precautionary measure. Ian felt that Jeb would be less of a threat considering the 'prisoner' had seen the both of us. Ian stood guard outside. I tried to call Burns, but I had no luck getting through. I would have to wait until tomorrow night when he was scheduled to call.

I needed to alert the clan of our unexpected guest and warn them to steer clear of the root cellar. Lunch was being served at the cave. I found Evan and instructed him to make up a tray with sandwiches and drinks for four and to bring it to the root cellar, where Ian was keeping guard, while I addressed the rest of the group.

I managed to get the attention of my fellow cave dwellers pretty quickly.

"If everyone could please gather around, I have an announcement to make."

The crowd quickly folded in towards my voice. "Ian, Wanda, and I went to town today, and it seems we encountered some unforeseen circumstances. We have returned with another guest, but it's not a human."

Everyone began to chatter amongst themselves.

"Please! Listen up!"

The crowd again turned their attention to me. "It was unintentional. The gentleman insisted on helping Wanda with her purchases. We had to take him. We had no choice. He is currently being held in the root cellar. Wanda and Jeb are with him."

"What are you going to do with him? We can't keep him in the root cellar forever," Tom yelled out from the crowd.

"I know. We haven't really had a chance to think it through yet."

"I say you just take him out back and shoot him," Uncle George cried out.

"Shut up, you old coot!" Maria shot back at him.

"Now, now! No fighting, please! Everything is under control. Everyone continue to go about your business, and I will update you all as soon as I can."

The crowd dispersed, and Gina made a beeline for me. She placed her hands on my chest. "Nate, I'm scared."

"It's okay, angel. I would never let anyone hurt you." I pulled her hands from my chest and held them in my hands. "I have to go back to the root cellar. You need to go back to class. We can talk about this later if you want."

"How can I concentrate on my studies with some crazy soul being held prisoner in our root cellar?"

I smiled at her. "It's nice to hear you refer to it as 'our' root cellar." I wasn't sure if she called it that because she truly felt like a part of the family, or because it was where she and I had made our first connection. "The soul we captured is not crazy. On the contrary, had he not been such a gentleman, then he would not have persisted in helping Wanda with her purchase."

I released her. "Okay," she sounded defeated.

She began to slowly walk away.

"Hey," I called out to her. "I got you something, a gift."

Her eyes lit up. "Really?" She sounded so excited.

"Yes, but you're not going to get it if Miranda tells me that you slacked in school this afternoon."

She flashed a huge smile and then bit her lower lip. She turned and trotted into the cave for her class.

_Damn._ Even though she wasn't gorgeous, she could be so damned adorable when she was innocent like this. She affected my heart. I took a deep breath and headed back to the root cellar.

Evan was guarding the door now. Ian was gone.

"Where'd Ian go?"

"He said he needed to unload the van."

I nodded my head in acknowledgement and stepped inside the root cellar. Even though it was still cloudy, it took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the lack of natural light in the room. Jeb was standing like a sentry holding his rifle in the crook of his arm with his other hand holding the barrel.

"So, how are we all doing?"

Jeb tapped his gun on the palm of his hand. "Well, I haven't killed anyone yet."

I stepped towards Wanda and took her hands in mine. "Hey Beautiful, how are you holding up?" I kissed her cheek.

"I'm good."

Ice spoke. "What? Is _everyone_ in love with you?"

I smiled. "What can I say? She's very lovable." I turned back to Wanda. "Are you going to be okay to stay here tonight? He's calm around you."

"I'll be fine, but you know Ian will freak."

"I'll work on him."

"Can you do me a favor?" she asked.

"Sure, anything for you Beautiful."

"Can you bring me my CD player and speakers?"

"Of course." I left and went to the house to retrieve the items Wanda requested. I ran into Ian as he was returning from the field wearing a pair of thick work gloves.

"You need some help?"

"No, I can't just stand there with Wanderer on the other side of that door. I figure this will keep me busy till he's calm enough for me to join them."

"You can bring them dinner later."

Ian nodded and went on his way. I went to the house and retrieved the CD player and assorted items from their room and lugged it out to the root cellar. I saw Carlos and Blake struggling to carry two pieces of plywood the way that Ian had.

"Yo!" I called out to them. "Why don't you put your pieces on top of each other and carry it together. One person on either side."

_Duh!_

They did as I had suggested, and they were on their way. I chuckled to myself. Evan was laughing when I got to the root cellar.

"Here you go, Wanda. I brought everything I could find."

"Where's Ian?"

"You know where he is."

"He's at the field?" she seemed surprised.

I took a deep breath. "He said he needed to stay busy. He carried all the lumber there piece by piece."

"Why didn't he drive the van there?"

"The ground is too wet. The van would sink. Don't worry. He got the boys to help him. I'll have him bring dinner, okay?"

"Thank you."

I slipped quickly back out the door.

"I need to check on things. Will you be all right guarding the root cellar till I get back?"

"Sure."

"Good."

I grabbed the bag with the books from the van and rushed back to the cave. I removed the romance novel from the bag and deposited the rest on my bookshelf. I wasn't sure when I'd have the chance to give them to her. I checked Maria's schedule for cooking duty and saw that Nadine was on it.

I headed back to the house with the book in hand. Nadine was in the kitchen with Kim and Holly preparing tonight's dinner. I plunked the book down on the counter in front of her.

"For you."

"What?"

"I know you like the romance novels, and my library doesn't have much to offer in that genre."

She looked at me. "Oh, Nate! Thank you!"

"You see? I do think about you sometimes." I kissed her on the cheek. "I'm off. I have to check on the inmates!"

All seemed to be going well at the root cellar. Our guest didn't seem as jumpy. Jeb requested a deck of cards. I ran to the house and retrieved them and let Evan go on his way. School would be letting out, and I knew Evan would be looking to hook up with Gina. I was feeling good that I seemed to be back in the good graces of both Nadine and Gina. It wasn't long before Ian showed up sweaty and dirty.

"How are they doing?" he asked.

"They're fine. They are playing cards. Why don't you shower and then get dinner for all four of you and you can visit."

"Okay."

"Oh, and can you ask one of the others to take over for me, so I can eat, too?"

"Sure."

Ian returned about forty minutes later, clean and freshly shaved with dinner for all. "Tom said he'd be out as soon as he's finished eating."

"Thanks."

Ian entered the root cellar, and I locked the door behind him. It was only about ten minutes later, when Tom came to relieve me. I was in the middle of my dinner when Jeb entered the dining room and asked if anyone knew where Jamie was. Everyone assumed he was with the girls, Megan and Sarah, but no one was sure of where that was. Jeb said he wanted to check on him. I asked if I could join him, so we could talk about the prisoner.

As we walked back to the cave, Jeb and I discussed the situation.

"So, tell me what you learned about this soul."

"Well, his name is Ice Conqueror. He goes by 'Ice'."

I chuckled. "Cool name."

Jeb just turned his head and shot me a look. "Wanderer has done a great job of easing his fears. She told him about her experiences here on our planet."

"Good. We are going to have to stay put here for a while. I'm sure his family is probably freaking out by now. They'll have Seekers everywhere within a hundred mile radius."

"He has no family. He says he's not married, no kids. He said he lives alone."

"That's probably a good thing. At least he doesn't have a family to go back to."

We walked in silence for a bit.

"We can't keep him here. It would be too easy to escape. How would you feel about taking him back to the caverns with you?"

"That's a thought," Jeb replied.

"Even if he was able to escape, chances are he'd die in the desert before he found his way back to civilization," I surmised.

"Unless he found the vehicles," Jeb reminded me.

"True."

Little did I know that Wanda had already reached the same conclusion, and had told Ice that this was only a temporary layover for him. It seems Jeb didn't want to usurp my authority, so he kept it to himself. It wasn't until later, that Ian told me of the conversations that were to take place among those in the root cellar that night.

We found Jamie with the girls in their room. He was playing with Megan's Nintendo DS. Sarah was playing one, too. Megan was sitting between them coaching each of them as they played.

Jeb informed Jamie that he was to heed my orders since he was going to be in the root cellar. Jamie agreed, and Jeb and I went to gather the bedding the threesome would need for the night.

We arrived back at the root cellar around nine o'clock carrying blankets and pillows. "Okay, Ian. Jeb's in, you're out." I spoke with authority.

"What?" Ian growled.

"Jeb's sleeping here with Wanda."

"Like hell he is! I'm not leaving. You'll have to put a bullet in me and drag me out."

_Don't think I hadn't though of that._

Wanda tried to reassure him. "Ian, it's okay."

"No, it's not okay. This is how our relationship got screwed up the last time. I am _not_ leaving," he said adamantly.

Ice was confused. "What do you mean screw up your relationship?"

"The last time Nate split us up like this, he used the situation to worm his way into Wanderer's good graces," Ian explained.

_Whatever. You still got the girl, not that you deserve her._

"Ohhh. It all makes sense now." Ice nodded in recognition of the hand holding transaction between Wanda and I earlier in the day.

"What do you mean it makes sense?" Ian asked.

Wanda shot Ice a look and quickly shook her head warning him not to let this get out of hand.

"Just the fact that you and Nate don't seem to be best of buds," Ice responded.

Wanda intervened the impending explosion. She put her arm through Ian's at the elbow. "Nate, I think he should stay." She turned to Ice. "You don't mind if he stays instead of Jeb, do you?"

"Not as long as you keep it PG. Besides, at least I can win a hand of cards against Ian."

Ian smiled. "There, you see? Even the prisoner has no problem with me being here."

I was not happy about the turn of events. "Could you _not _call him a prisoner?"

"What would you prefer I call him?"

"A guest." I replied trying to sound diplomatic.

Ice jumped in. "Guests can leave."

Wanda raised her hands abruptly. "Everyone calm down! You are giving me a headache!" She walked over and picked up one of the sleeping bags and a pillow. "Nate. Jeb. Thank you for the bedding. We'll see you in the morning."

Jeb was only too happy to leave. I was aggravated. "You owe me." I directed my comment to Wanda.

"I know," she said in a reassuring voice.

I left without another word. I was pissed. She had done the one thing I was afraid she might do. She had gotten over on me. If I did watch my step, she could end up running this whole damn place!

I went into the house. It was crowded. The older crowd was in the kitchen playing dominoes, and the younger crowd was in front of the TV watching the new season of American Idol. I noticed that Gina and Evan were in there, too. They were snuggled together in the big chair. There was no where to sit, so I laid flat on my back on the carpet with my feet crossed and my hands folded across my chest. Since it was the beginning of a new season the judges were still wading through thousands of contestants trying to find those who could actually sing. The sad part was they never told a contestant that they couldn't sing. They always said they had a beautiful voice, but they weren't right for the competition. It was enough to make you want to gag.

About a half hour in, Gina and Evan got out of the chair and said their good nights to everyone. Great, it's only ten o'clock. I'm sure Evan will get his tonight.

I laid there watching the program for another half hour before I remembered that I had gotten a book for myself to read as well. I waited for Kim and Tom to finish their 'bath' so I could use the facilities before returning to my room. It had been a long day. I was tired. I thought it might be best if I just went to sleep considering I needed to be up early to let the 'inmates' out in the morning.

I entered my room to find Gina lying on my bed doing homework. She was lying on her stomach, but she was clad in nothing but her panties.

"Gina, what are you doing here?"

"Right now I'm doing my homework like a good little school girl." She rolled onto her back and stuck breasts out seductively. "But I'm here to collect on the gift you promised me."

_Fucking 'A'. _My cock responded immediately. I tried to keep my wits about me. I tried to contain my smile, but I couldn't. "While I am very pleased that you think of me as a gift, I can't make love to you."

She propped herself up on the bed. "Why not?"

"I gave all my condoms to you."

She reached under the pillow and pulled out the box of condoms. She smiled. "I still have them—all of them."

"You haven't made love to him?"

"Nope."

While I was truly pleased that she hadn't, I was curious as to why. I didn't have to wait for my answer.

"You said that I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do. You also promised me that no one would hurt me. I told him I wasn't ready."

She got off the bed and walked to me. _God she is fucking sexy. _She put her arms around my neck.

"Besides I have the perfect lover right here."

_Oh hell. There is no way I am turning this down. _My lips met hers in a flurry of passionate kisses. She smelled good, and she tasted scrumptious. She lifted her leg to wrap it around me, and I lifted her, so that she had both legs wrapped around my waist. I walked slowly towards the bed as we made out. She pushed her fingers through my hair, and her lips wouldn't let up.

As I fell on the bed with her beneath me, she finally spoke. "I want to make you happy," she crooned.

"You do, Gina, you do."

I slid off of her and removed my clothes. My dick was standing at attention. I laid next to her, and I suckled on her breasts while I used my free hand to arouse her over her panties.

I loved touching her body. I kissed her flat stomach, and she cooed her approval.

I climbed on top of her and pressed my hard-on between her legs. Her panties stopped me from penetrating, but it was driving her insane.

"Nate, I want you," she pleaded.

I grabbed the condom and quickly removed it from its wrapper. I slid it over my engorged cock while she removed her panties. I slowly pushed my way into her. She was tight.

I let out a long deep breath and began to kiss her neck.

"Don't mark me," she said in a soft voice.

I whispered into her ear. "Why? Are you afraid your boyfriend will find out about us?"

"No, I'm afraid the rest of the mountain will, and then you won't want me anymore."

She had me. If the rest of the clan found out about us, chances were I would stop sleeping with her. I decided that rather than destroy this perfect moment, I should keep my mouth shut and heed her wishes. When she started to moan, I knew she was close. I was hell bent on holding out longer than her. Finally she arched her back and grabbed the end of the pillow to try and muffle her cries. Her primal cry caused my body to betray me, and I climaxed. It was wonderful. _She _was wonderful.

I rolled off of her and sat up to remove the now full condom from my slowly deflating erection. I dropped it in the trash can and slid back on the bed next to her. I had my head propped up on my elbow, and I was slowly tracing the tip of my fingers up and down her beautiful body.

"Nate! That tickles," she cooed as the goose bumps rose up on her body.

"Yeah? So I could torture you right now with this one little finger?" I teased.

"I'm not really fond of the word 'torture'," she reminded me.

"I'm sorry." I leaned to her lips and kissed her. "Do you want your gift now?"

"Nate, you want round two? You couldn't possibly be ready so quick!"

I laughed. "No, I bought you something—from the book store."

"Get out." She said in disbelief.

I tapped her nose. "I'm not really fond of the words 'get out'," I reminded her.

Her expression suddenly changed to one of concern. "I didn't mean for you to get out!" she said trying to clarify her meaning.

I got off the bed and walked to the bookshelf. I grabbed the two books I had purchased for her.

"Good, because I don't want to get out, and I don't want you to get out either. Here." I handed her the books. She sat up to read the titles.

"Diary of Anne Frank and To Kill a Mockingbird." She wrapped her arm around my neck. "Thank you!"

"I'd like to read them when you're done if you don't mind."

"No, of course!" She leaned in and what followed was another make out session. Before I knew it, my dick was hard again.

"Are you up for round two?" I asked.

She giggled. "Well it seems that you are!"

I laughed with her. She was so easy to be with. She grabbed the box with the condoms. I sat up and applied my protection.

"Come here, angel." I pulled her towards me, and she straddled my lap. I was staring straight at her face, and I realized that in my eyes, she was pretty. Her body was gorgeous, but her face was pretty. At that moment, a shiver ran down my spine. I trembled.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing. I'm just enjoying this." I was enjoying it, but the reason for my shiver was the fact that I realized I felt more for this girl than I had for anyone in a very long time, and it scared me. As a matter of fact, it scared the shit out of me.

As if on cue, she leaned back, and her breasts were in my face. I latched on and concentrated on licking her perfect nipple. We both took much longer to climax this time. It was very cool in the cave, but beads of sweat had formed on my brow.

She started to squeeze her muscles together.

"Are you doing that?" I asked.

"You like it?" She was panting. I did, but I wanted to be in control.

I pulled her off me and flipped her onto the bed. "Get on your knees."

I got behind her and pounded it home. She buried her face in the pillow, like the first time, and it wasn't long before I cried out in ecstasy. She remained on her knees with her face buried in the pillow.

"Are you okay?"

It suddenly dawned on me that this was the manner in which most of the men took her. I laid on the bed and brushed the hair from her face. There were tears.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you!"

I pulled her to my chest. "I'm so sorry." I stroked her head. "Please forgive me!"

"You didn't hurt me," she choked.

I felt like shit. "But I brought back terrible memories," replied.

"Only in the beginning, but then I remembered it was you. The guy who calls me angel and treats me like no one has ever treated me before."

I hovered over her and wiped the tears from her face. "Stay with me tonight?"

"Sure, set the alarm for five."

"Six, I have to be at the house to unlock the root cellar."

We fell asleep entwined in each other's arms, and as much as I hated to admit it, my feelings for her had gone way beyond 'friends with benefits'.


	14. Chapter 14

**Just a quick thank you to the shipper and wandering through stars for the anonymous reviews on A Soul's Hope and Nate's Diary. To the shipper, I am curious as to whether or not you read A Soul's Hope since it is the precursor to Nate's Diary. The two stories run parallel to each other although Nate's Diary will go far beyond the end of A Soul's Hope. Also welcome back to Alexandraa13 and Twilight Wubber. Thanks for the great reviews. And now chapter 14…**

WOMEN

05/25/2002 – Yesterday proved to be interesting in more ways than I could have even imagined. We have a new guest on the mountain. He is a soul. He did not come to us willingly, but rather we kidnapped him. It could have been my worst nightmare, but the beautiful porcelain soul has controlled him as she has controlled all of us; with sweetness and passiveness. Even I have found myself giving into her wishes although I didn't want to. I was angry then, but I'm not angry now.

The other surprise was my angel, Gina. I say 'my' because even though she hasn't said it, I believe that she is mine. Mine to keep or mine to give away. This leads me to a dilemma. I feel so strongly for her, but I know that Evan cares for her, too. They are closer in age, and he respects her. I, on the other hand, am so selfish when it comes to her. After realizing how much I felt for her, I fucked her instead of making love to her. I hurt her, and I can't help but wonder if deep down inside I did it on purpose. I tried to apologize. If I really loved her, I would let her go. She deserves a great guy like Evan instead of an old horn dog like me. I think it's time to have another talk with Maria.

My alarm went off a six. Gina was asleep with her back to me. I ran my fingers across the scar on her back. I wondered what it could be from. I hoped that one day I might have the courage to ask her.

"Gina."

She didn't move.

"Gina, sweetheart, wake up."

She rolled over. "Is it five o'clock already?"

"No, angel, it's six. I told you I have to go to the house this morning."

"Oh, right. I forgot. Okay, I'm getting up."

She closed her eyes again.

I didn't have the heart to disturb her again. "Okay, you sleep," I whispered.

I got up and threw on some clothes. I grabbed a set of clothes for Ice, since he was about my size, and my journal. I stopped back at the bed and kissed her forehead. I hoped she wouldn't get caught, but if she did, I was prepared to tell whoever would listen that her depression was affecting her ability to sleep, and so I held her in an effort to help. I chuckled to myself because she was, in fact, the one who helped me with my depression.

It was early. I entered the house, which was empty, and put on a pot of coffee. I sat and spent the next twenty minutes writing of yesterday's events in my journal. Just as I finished, my phone rang. It was Wanda.

"Hello?"

"Hey, can you let me out of here?"

"I'll be right there."

Wanda bolted out of the root cellar as soon as the door was opened.

I stepped inside. Ian rolled over and saw me standing there.

"Wanderer?" he called out.

"She needed to use the bathroom."

"Right." He sat up.

"Did you sleep okay?"

"As well as can be expected under the circumstances."

"Well, at least you were together, right?"

Ice had been sleeping with his back to us, and now, he turned and spoke to us. "I was afraid I might end up being a voyeur."

"Oh, come on. I'm not a cave man," Ian replied.

_Huh, coulda fooled me, Conan._

"Hey, Nate. Can I take Ice with me to help me build the dugouts?"

"That sounds like fun," Ice replied.

"It's not fun. It's work," I reminded him.

"I'm not afraid to work. Besides, it's better than sitting in here."

"Well, unfortunately, I can't just let you run free. There's too much at stake here. You understand."

"I'll tie him to me."

"That might work. Tell you what. If you can get a few others to join you, then I'll agree to it."

"Fair enough."

Wanda reentered the root cellar.

"Good morning, boys."

Each of us echoed her greeting.

"Ice, I brought you some clothes. They're mine. The next time Wanda goes into town, I'll have her pick up some clothing for you."

Jeb entered the root cellar with his gun in hand. "Are we ready to go to the house?"

Wanda led the way. Ian and I each took one of Ice's arms, and we walked three across to the house. Jeb followed behind with his gun at the ready. Once inside the house, Ian escorted Ice to the bathroom. I took the opportunity to go in search of rope. I knew we had some in the crawlspace under the house. By the time I returned, they were in the kitchen scavenging for food. Carl and Evan were with them and had volunteered to join the expedition to build the dugouts. I felt that with Jeb included in the mix, I could rest assured that we would be safe.

I took off to find Maria. I found her checking out the garden we had planted.

"Hey, Maria."

"Nathan." She replied as she stood up from the squatting position she had been in. "The garden is beginning to sprout."

"I know. I saw it yesterday."

"So, what's the deal with this new soul you brought home?"

I took a deep breath. "Well, we've decided that Jeb is going to take him back to the caverns. It's difficult to escape from because it's hard to find the way out, and it's literally in the middle of the desert."

"So, you think we're safe?"

"I think so. He's actually seems like a pretty nice guy."

"I think you just a soft spot for the souls."

"Me? Who's the one who told Uncle George to shut up?"

"He just aggravates me."

"He's getting old."

"So am I."

"You can't get old. I need you."

"I'm glad I am able to be here for you in your mother's absence, but I won't be here forever, Nathan. You need to accept that."

I hated thinking about death. I guess if I had a phobia about something, death was it. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure. I suppose you want to tell me how many times you've had sex this week?"

I blushed. "Let's just say I have that aspect of my life under control."

"Do you, now?"

"I've backed off of Wanda and Ian."

"And the other girl?"

"Gina is—well—she has an interest in Evan, but…"

My face must have given me away.

"You're still sleeping with her, aren't you?"

"She came to me," I said in my defense.

"Is she sleeping with Evan as well?"

"No." I spoke almost as if I was relieved, and I was sure she picked up on it.

"And when she does?"

I hated when she continually fired questions at me because I knew she was trying to get to a point. A point that I didn't want to see.

"I suppose she'll stop coming to me." I felt wounded at that moment. I didn't want to lose her.

She didn't say anything. Instead she patted me on the shoulder and walked away in silence.

At lunch, I was sitting with my family enjoying the beautiful sunshine, when I saw Gina coming towards me. I smiled at her because I was genuinely glad to see her.

"Hey, angel. Come to join us?"

"Um—no. Nate, can I talk to you for a minute? In private?" She seemed very anxious.

I climbed out from the picnic table. "Sure, you want to take a walk?"

We walked towards the baseball field. She was quiet. It made me feel uneasy because I was afraid that something may have happened to her, and I wasn't there to protect her. When we were out of earshot of the others, she turned to me abruptly.

"Why didn't you wake me this morning?"

"What? I did. You fell back to sleep. I…" I didn't get the chance to finish.

"I was late for school this morning." She was very animated when she talked. "Megan and Sarah knew I didn't sleep in my bed. They were all smiles when I walked into the class. Do you know how quickly it can get around that I spent the night with Evan?"

"If they think you spent the night with Evan, then we're cool."

She spoke even louder now. "Until Evan finds out. What do you suppose he is going to think when he finds out that I supposedly spent the night with him? Nate, I am trying to build a relationship here. If you screw it up, I'll never forgive you!"

I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say.

"You set the rules. You can't just break them when you feel like it!"

"I'm sorry." I reached for her hand, but she pulled away.

"Just leave me alone!" With that, she stormed away, and I just stood there like an idiot. My damn heart was thumping with anxiety. I finally found my tongue.

"ALL I DID WAS LET YOU SLEEP!" I yelled out to her.

This is why I don't get involved with women. You try to be nice, and you end getting bitched at. I walked briskly back to the cave. I was perturbed now.

"Uncle Nate, I saved your lunch!" Priscilla called to me.

I sat back in my seat and acted as if nothing had happened, but inside I was beginning to seethe. I spent the rest of the afternoon keeping to myself. I checked on the progress of the dugout but didn't say much. At dinner, I avoided Gina, and she avoided me. That evening, I hung out in the root cellar with Ice and his team of prison guards. Ian and Wanda seemed genuinely happy and so did Jamie and Megan. It appeared that the two teens took a liking to each other. I hoped that their relationship wouldn't become as complicated as mine had become.

Burns called at about nine o'clock. I took the call outside. I explained our dilemma to him, and he agreed that it was time for him to return to the mountain. It was the rest of the conversation that took me by surprise.

I returned to convey the news. "Burns is coming," I said flatly.

Ian spoke. "When?"

"He said they will leave tonight."

"Who is coming with him?"

"You're not going to believe it."

"Kyle's coming!" Wanda squealed. She seemed pretty excited about the prospect of Ian's brother coming. My thoughts immediately went to the night of the broken phone. Here Ian was worried about me when it seemed to me the one he needed to worry about was his own brother. Obviously, Ian was on the same page as I was.

"You seem to be a little too excited about the news that my brother is coming."

"Jealous, O'Shea?"

"Well you admitted that you've slept with him," Ian shot back.

Ice interrupted, "Whoa! You slept with his brother?"

She laughed. "Not like that. Kyle is my savior. He's my Ian substitute."

They had gotten off on a tangent. There was more to tell. "PEOPLE! There's someone else coming!" I shouted.

Everyone shut up and looked at me.

"Jared's coming?" Wanda answered.

"No."

"Lily?"

"No."

Ian offered the next name. "Doc?"

"No."

"Who?" Ian asked.

"Sunny."

"Get out!" Wanda blurted out.

"Burns wants her to get a phone," I explained.

Ice's curiosity exploded. "Who is Sunny?"

"Sunny is a soul. When Kyle found out that I could remove a soul from the body without destroying it, he took off and brought back his love. Sunny came willingly because her memories of loving him were strong. She did not want to leave the body. She was quite sad about being sent to another planet. Once removed, the host body never regained consciousness. Kyle requested that we put Sunny back because she _was _such a sweet soul. It took him a while to turn his protective big brother feelings into love."

"With a little help from Wanderer," Ian added.

"Of course, I would have guessed." Ice smiled at Wanda.

"Sunny has never left the caverns. It is always dangerous to put a soul in the mainstream. They could turn on us. It takes an immense amount of trust," Ian proclaimed.

"How did they mainstream you?" Ice asked.

Wanda crossed to Jamie and put her arms around him. "My little brother here was my reason to journey into the mainstream. He was dying from infection. We did not have drugs. Jared trusted me when I was still sharing Mel's body."

Ian interjected. "She practically killed herself by hacking into her own arm to go to a healer and then stole the drugs needed to cure Jamie. After that, she was one of us."

"This is Sunny's first trip, so they will be putting their faith and Kyle's love into her hands. If she turns, they will all be in danger. Burns must really feel that she is ready."

"So, now we wait," I murmured.

I sent Jamie and Megan to the cave, and I locked the trio in the root cellar.

I entered the house and came face to face with Gina. She was waiting for  
>Evan to come out of the bathroom. I made a beeline for Burns's room and plopped on his bed. I laid there waiting for the happy couple to leave, and I ended up falling asleep. By the time I woke up, it was several hours later, so I pulled the covers over myself and stayed put for the night.<p>

I woke early. I laid in the bed and thought about the latest development in the Gina/ Evan relationship. I figured I should stay away, and I thought of a good way to do that and keep the lines of communication open between me and Wanda at the same time.

I got up and sprinted back to the cave to retrieve some clean clothes for myself and for Ice. I headed back to the house and took a quick shower. By now, it was after eight. I went to the root cellar to wake its inhabitants. All three of them were still slumbering in the darkness of the windowless grotto.

"Good morning, all! Were you planning on sleeping the day away?"

Wanda jumped up and rushed out the door before the boys. I could only assume she didn't want to wait for the bathroom. The boys were slower in coming to their senses. I picked up the rope and approached Ice to tether it to his wrist.

"I trust you slept well?"

"Like a rock," Ice answered.

"Well, I suppose a little fresh air and hard work will do that," I surmised. I handed Ian his end of the rope, and he tied it to his wrist.

"I left a clean set of clothing in the bathroom for you. Just leave the ones you are wearing on the floor. I'll retrieve them later."

Kim and Carl were both waiting to enter the root cellar with laundry baskets in hand.

We walked to the house in the same fashion as yesterday, although there was no Jeb and no gun. Ice seemed to be at ease with us and the mountain. I was grateful. Wanda was still in the bathroom. I entered the kitchen and started a pot of coffee while Ian and Ice disappeared in the bedroom. I needed to go and clean up the root cellar, so the others could use it, so I hightailed it back there.

Carl informed me that it was again time to visit another clan that had become our friends several years ago. It was a clan of Gypsies. There were ten of them in all, and they were all related in one way or another. They lived in an old mine. Although they still raided, they also relied on me and my clan to provide them with supplies. We tried to bring them fresh meat and vegetables as well as alcohol every four to eight weeks. It was a quick trip. It only took six hours to get there. If I were to go, it would not be a quick two day trip. The leaders had a daughter. She was a freak. She loved sex, and she loved me. Spending time with her was always an adventure and always exhausting. I didn't want to go for the simple fact that I had so much going on here with Ice, and Burns returning, and of course my unexplained feelings for Wanda.

I thought about sending Carl, but I knew if I did and Nadia didn't get some sort of satisfaction, she'd probably be pissed. Nadia could be 'difficult' to deal with if provoked. The funny thing is her other 'piece of ass' of choice was Evan.

"Ask Evan if he wants to go with you," I suggested.

It was evil of me, but it would let me know how serious he was about Gina. After all, according to Gina, Evan wasn't getting any poontang from her. If Evan thought he was on the verge of getting sex from Gina, then he wouldn't entertain the exploits of the insatiable Nadia.

Feeling satisfied with myself, I headed to the house to implement my next scheme. Ian and Ice were now in the bathroom. I found Wanda in the kitchen. I sat at the table directly across from her.

"Hey, Beautiful!"

"Hi, Nate."

"Remember that favor you owe me?"

"Yes, I remember." She seemed just a bit leery.

"I need you to go on a road trip. The cooks are complaining that with the addition of Ice plus three more coming for the next few days they won't have enough food. You will need to hit two or three supermarkets in different towns to keep anyone from becoming suspicious."

I needed to get the supplies for the Gypsies as well, but she didn't need to know that.

"I've done this many times before for my family at the caverns. I know the drill."

"Good. I'll go with you. I prefer Ian stay with Ice. They are comfortable together."

"No, I want to go alone. I need to stop in town and get my hair cut. It will appease Fluttering in the Wind, so she won't have a reason to come snooping around."

_No! _She managed to throw a wrench in my prefect plan. _Damn it!_ "You sure you want to go alone?" I asked in the hopes she would change her mind.

"Yes, I'll be fine. I'll go tell Ian."

Wanda jumped up and left the kitchen. I had been foiled by that perfect alien again. After a few minutes, Ian came in and asked if he could keep my phone, so Wanda could call him at each stop and assure him that she was okay. I gave up my phone without a fight. At this point, I considered going to Nadia, but I had Burns to think about. I missed him. He was my best friend, and I knew he would expect me to be here when he arrived. I ended up doing laundry since Ice was wearing my clothing, and this left me with a severe shortage of clean clothes.

Wanda didn't return until after dark. A bunch of us were hanging out in the living room watching TV, and we all helped to carry in the groceries that Wanda had purchased. She did a good job, probably better than Burns. Afterwards, some of the crowd headed back to the cave as it was getting late. By midnight, all that was left were the root cellar dwellers and myself.

Burns and crew arrived shortly after midnight. Wanda as usual was the center of attention. Kyle ran to her and scooped her up like a new bride. He kissed her forehead and she, in turn, kissed him on the cheek. "So, how is my girl doing?"

"I'm great," she cooed.

We all stood there watching the spectacle unfold. Ice seemed almost amazed, but Ian looked very uncomfortable. I had seen this familiarity between Wanda and Kyle back at the caverns, but Ian was witnessing it for the first time.

"You _look _happy," Kyle trilled as he smiled back at her.

"I am," she replied. Kyle put her down gently and walked to Ian and grabbed him into a manly hug complete with the slapping on the back.

"So, bro, have you finally made my little girl a woman?" Ian just shot him a look and cleared his throat.

Wanda ran to Burns, and he lifted her off the ground in a bear hug. "I can't leave you alone for one minute. You go out and find my replacement."

In all the time that Ice was here, no one had told him about Burns.

"Hey, you're a—soul? How many souls are there in this commune of yours?" he inquired.

I was the one to answer the question. "This is it. There were three and now with you, there are four."

"We are quite an elite group if I say so myself," Wanda said as she flashed a broad smile. She turned back to Burns. "How is Lily?"

"She's wonderful. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you."

Ice interjected. "Wait, you have a human girlfriend, too?"

"Yes, thanks to Wanda." He put his arm around her shoulders.

Ice shook his head. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Play your cards right, and I'll find a girlfriend for you, too." She giggled. I felt that she probably could, considering the power she seemed to wield over all of us.

She turned her attention to Sunny. "I took your advice. I did everything you told me, and it worked. We are so happy!"

"I'm glad for you. For us. Look! I got a cell phone!" Sunny trilled.

"Welcome to the family, Sis!" She grabbed Sunny by the arm and started herding her towards the back steps to the house. "Come on. Let me show you the house. You and Kyle can take our room. Ian and I have been rooming with Ice these last few days. Oh! Wait till you see the Jacuzzi!" Her voice trailed off as she walked away.

Now that Wanda had left us, it was quiet. I turned to Burns. "Good to have you back, man."

He and I gave each other a manly hug.

"Even with the unexpected addition of Ice, it's been rather calm around here."

We headed to the house. After a brief gathering in the living room, everyone decided to call it a night. I walked the trio to the root cellar and locked them in for the night and then returned to my room. It was a long day, and I feel asleep quickly.


	15. Chapter 15

**I've been super busy, but I always try to make time to write, edit, read my meager reviews, and respond to my readers. I'm not sure how many of you are fans of Janet Evanovich, but I as soon as my book, For the Love of Brynn is published, I will begin posting a story on FanFic. I'm hoping to do Stephanie Plum some justice. Wish me luck.**

MAYHEM

05/27/2002 – Just when I think I've got my life under control, I find that you just can't count on a woman…for anything! I had convinced myself to see how this thing with Gina was going to play out, and I ended up being blindsided. She bitched at me for letting her sleep. I don't need that shit.

In the meantime, Evan has agreed to go to the Gypsies. That speaks volumes considering he knows he is going to get laid if he goes there. So, I guess he's not ready to cement his relationship with Gina either. I'm curious as to whether she is going to jump in my bed tonight after he leaves.

Burns is back, and he is in good spirits. I've missed him. I'll try to hang with him today. Maybe I'll let Ice hang with us, so he can see how well a soul and a human can get along.

I slept late. By the time I got to the house, Burns was up and the house was full of people. The kids were already in school, leaving the adults with control of the TV. Maria and Sue were watching a cooking show. The rest of the crowd was in the kitchen eating what could only be called brunch.

I offered to take Kyle and Sunny on a tour of the mountain. Burns agreed to come along, and he suggested that we take Ice along with us. I knew he did it to give Ian and Wanda some 'alone' time.

After the tour, Ice asked if we could continue the work on the dugouts. I looked at Burns, but he declared that he was out of clean clothes and needed to do laundry. He also said that he should go to town and get the alcohol for tonight's Gypsy run. I asked if he would pick up some clothes for Ice while he was at it. I told him Ice wore the same sizes as me.

Kyle was receptive to the dugout idea, so we tied Ice to Kyle, and the three of us spent the afternoon working on the dugouts. It was a hot day, and personally, I would have rather spent it doing something less strenuous, but Ice seemed so excited about the project. I let Sunny know that school was due to let out, and she marched off to find Jamie and Megan. She returned a short while later with the two young lovebirds in tow. The three of them sat together on the bench and played a word game that the youngsters had learned in school. A few hours later, Jamie yelled out. "Look!"

In the distance, there was a group heading towards the baseball field. It was easy to spot Ian, who towered above the rest of the crowd. As they got within earshot, Kyle looked up and called out. "Did you two have a pleasant afternoon?"

"It was…life changing." Wanda replied.

I took the opportunity to tease her. "Damn! If it's that good then no wonder I never had a chance!"

Ian and Wanda answered in unison. "Shut up, Nate!"

"Hey! I'm just saying!" I said in my defense.

Ian directed his attention to Kyle. "I see you've done a lot of work on the dugout."

"Yeah, it feels good to build something. I can see how you muscled up so quickly."

"Superman," Wanda said quietly but still loud enough to be heard. _More like the hulk. Just don't piss him off._

Blake bellowed. "Coach? Practice?"

"Right. EVERYONE PAIR UP. YOU KNOW THE DRILL!"

Wanda grabbed Sunny. "Come on. Practice with us!" Wanda seemed full of herself since she was obviously much better at throwing the ball than Sunny. Ian went over to give Sunny tips on how to throw the ball. It helped a little. I was glad to see that Sunny didn't give up.

After warm up, they ran the field followed by stretching exercises. Ian ran a drill in which the players lined up at the second base and short stop positions. If you were playing short stop, and the ball was hit to you, you had to throw it to first base. If you were playing second, and the ball was hit to you, you had to throw it to third.

"You want to get in on this?" Kyle asked.

"Sure. I think we've worked enough for today," I responded.

"Yo, BRO! Kyle called. "Got room for a few more?"

"Let's do it."

I untied Ice from Kyle's wrist and tied him to the bench. "Sorry, buddy."

Ian put Kyle on first base and me on third. Ian stood at home plate and hit the ball continuously to both positions. Everything happened very quickly. There was not a lot of time to think. When the ball was hit to the player, he had to charge the ball and react. The shortstop position threw it to Kyle at first, and the second base position had to throw it to me at third. If the player missed it or had a bad throw, he had to run. There was a lot of running going on. Finally, Ian stepped up.

"People, you can't think about where you are throwing it until you have control of the ball. Once you are in control, take the two seconds you need to know where that ball is going when it leaves your hand. I would rather have a runner make it to first by a second or two than have a bad throw because then that runner is going to second. Use your head!" He had Blake, who was his golden boy, hit the ball to him as he played the short stop position to demonstrate. He moved on the ball like it was a part of him, and his release was quick and accurate. The ball hit Kyle's glove with a 'thwack'.

The practice continued in this way for nearly an hour before Ian was satisfied that everyone was improving. Then he moved on to batting practice. He had each person play a position and they rotated with each batter until everyone had the chance to hit. At the end, he let Kyle have a turn. He moved everyone to the outfield. I put on the catcher's gear and squatted behind home plate. Ian threw his first pitch. Kyle swung.

Ice was still tethered to the bench. "Holy crap!" he bellowed.

Kyle smiled at Ian. "I see you've had quite a bit of practice. Just give me a little time. I'll hit it."

It took five more pitches before Kyle connected. The ball soared deep into the outfield. Megan yelled "I got it" and she made the catch.

Everyone hooted and hollered at her great catch.

Ian commented to Kyle. "With practice I can make her as good as the boys. She's got some talent."

Ian threw several more pitches, and Kyle connected with a few of them. "Okay, let's see if you can hit this." Ian through the fade ball that made Burns crazy so many weeks ago. Kyle swung, but like Burns he couldn't adjust to the drop in altitude the ball suddenly made.

"You are the man!" He ran out to Ian to give him a high five.

After a few more pitches, Coach called everyone in. I suggested that tomorrow we try to have the game that was rained out last weekend. The kids cheered. "Same team captains?" I asked Ian.

"Yes, but this time _I _get first pick."

"Deal."

I knew that Ian would choose Kyle first, but I would get Burns.

After dinner, Burns returned with the alcohol for the gypsies and some new clothes for Ice. He also picked up a few cases of cold beer. There was a poker game going on in the root cellar, and Burns grabbed a case of beer and joined the fun. Evan came to me as I was loading the supplies for the gypsies into the truck.

"Carl is in the root cellar," I informed him.

"I don't want Carl to go with me. I'm going alone."

I stopped in my tracks. "You sure?"

"Yes."

"You know if you go alone, Nadia's going to have her way with you."

He didn't answer.

I continued back to the house for another cooler of food. Evan followed me. We each grabbed a handle to the big cooler and started towards the door. Once we pushed it into the back of the truck, I turned to him.

"What about Gina?"

I sounded like her big brother.

"Nate. She's the reason I'm going alone. I've been seeing her for weeks, and she won't let me touch her. I'm horny as hell! I figure if I get some sexual satisfaction then I can deal with Gina…with the waiting. How long am I supposed to wait?" He sounded desperate.

_Shit, this is my fault._

"Give her some time. She's had a hard time adjusting. She'll come around."

We finished carrying the last of the boxes to the truck. Evan tossed his bag of clothes on the front seat and jumped into the truck.

"Here's my cell phone. Call me on Burns's phone when you get there. Tell Nadia I said 'hey', and I'll see her next time."

"Okay."

"You need condoms?"

"I've got three. You think I'll need more?"

Nadia was the most sexual creature I had ever met. I pulled out my wallet.

"Here. Take these." I handed him two condoms from my wallet. We exchanged that knowing look. "Okay, drive safe."

"I will."

Evan climbed into the truck, and he was off. I took a deep breath and headed for the root cellar. There was a party going on. Poker and beer. I was invited to join the game, and Burns handed me a beer. I was two beers behind everyone else. I thought it might be best to keep my wits about me, since it seemed that everyone else was hell bent on getting trashed. I had Ice to think about. He was still tied to Ian, but he could easily untie himself if no one was paying attention. As the night went on, Ian, Kyle, Ice, Tom, Rob, and Carl definitely were feeling no pain. Luckily Jeb and Burns were still functioning.

When Sunny and Wanda entered, they became the entertainment. Ian grabbed Wanda and started trash talking. I could tell that she was very uncomfortable. "Hey, Babe. Kyle says that Sunny can dance. I've never seen you dance. Will you dance for me?"

"Stop it Ian. You're drunk." She tried to break free, but he pulled her into his lap.

"Oh, come on. Dance for Superman." He started groping her ass.

I tried to distract him. "Ian. It's your turn."

"Can't you see I'm hanging with my girl?"

"Yes. She's going to go get some food for you," I said in the hopes that he would release her.

"Food…munchies. Yes, wench. Get some munchies," he bellowed in his drunken state.

Ian released her, and she bolted out the door. I took Sunny by the hand and assisted her outside as well. "I'm sorry. They are a little drunk."

"A little?" I could see that she was angry. "What are we supposed to do?"

"You two can sleep in the house. I'll lock them all in for the night."

"And what if they have to go to the bathroom?"

"I don't know. I didn't think they were gonna get blotto. I figured they'd have a few beers. I guess it's been a while since any of them have had a drink. What do you suggest?"

"What do I suggest? I suggest that you stay here at the door and monitor this shindig." Here I was getting bitched at because her fiancé couldn't handle his liquor.

"How about if I try to get some of them to go?" I said in an effort to appease her.

"That will help. The less there are the easier it will be to deal with the ones who are there. Right now, Ian is unmanageable."

"Okay, I'll tell Carl, Tom, and Rob that I am going to lock them in if they don't leave now."

"All right, and grab what is left of the alcohol and bring that out, and we'll put it in the kitchen."

In the next several minutes, I pulled several open cases of beer out of the root cellar. Sunny and Wanda scooped them up and returned them to the house. I returned to the root cellar to deal with the partiers.

"Okay, listen up! It's late, and I need to lock up the root cellar. Unless all of you want to spend the night in here sleeping on the floor, I suggest you call it a night and head back to the cave." I leaned in to Burns and quietly asked him to untie Ian from the rope and secure it to his own wrist. I needed to separate Ian from the rest since he seemed to be the most belligerent. Carl, Tom, and Rob took me at my word and decided to cut out. I enlisted Jeb's help in getting Ian out of the root cellar and into the house. Burns was the least drunk out of the remaining three so he was in charge of locking Kyle and Ice in the root cellar.

We got Ian to the house and managed to get him to sit on the couch. He wanted to go back to the party. Wanda entered the house, and Ian's attention immediately went to her. "Ah! The party girl is here. Come here, Babe!"

I tried to keep him seated on the couch, but he broke my grasp and lumbered towards Wanda. "Go! Wanda. Get out," I instructed.

She turned to run for the door, but Ian was on her quickly. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. She struggled to pull his hands away.

"What's the matter Babe? You know you want me."

Suddenly, she screamed the most ear piercing scream. Ian let go of her immediately, and she ran out the door.

"Come on Ian. I need you to calm down. Why don't you lie down for a bit, huh?"

"Why is she running away from me?"

"She's just tired. It's been a long day. Here, lie on the couch till she comes back."

Jeb helped me to get him to the couch. Burns came in a few minutes later. He pulled me aside and said he saw Wanda climbing into the back of the van. I thought it was probably the safest place for her to be.

"Can you handle him? I think he's gonna crash real soon."

Burns answered me. "Yeah, where are you going?"

"I'm going to go and get a sleeping bag from the cave and sleep outside the van. I'd rather know that she wasn't forced into anything." I thought about the things that Gina had told me, and it would destroy me if Wanda was put into that situation even if the guy was her fiancé.

I rushed back to the cave and snagged a sleeping bag from the storeroom. Before I left, I peeked into Gina's room. It was dark. I could only assume that all three girls were asleep.

Back at the van, I tried to open the back door, but it was locked. I figured she must be asleep as well. I laid down on the hard ground. It had been a long day, and I had a few beers in me as well. I fell asleep sooner than I thought I would.

In the morning, I was awakened by the sound of children running up the back stairs and into the house._ What the hell? _I looked at my watch. _They should be in school._ I climbed out of my sleeping bag and went to the passenger side door of the van. It was unlocked. I jumped in to see if Wanda was still inside. She was gone.

Suddenly, I heard the back door slam loudly, and as I climbed out of the van, I saw Wanda take off in the direction of the cave. I ran to catch up with her.

"Wanda, are you okay?" I was backtracking in front of her, so I could face her and keep the pace.

"No! I'm angry!" Tears flooded her eyes. I stopped her by putting my hands on her arms.

"I'm sorry! This is all my fault. I called Burns when he was in town and asked him to get the beer. I didn't think…" It was a lie, but I figured it was better that she blame me than Burns.

She cut me off. "No, Nate, you didn't think. How could you? Ian was out of control! I was afraid of him! I never ever want to be afraid of him!"

I just stared at the ground. "I'm sorry."

She put her face in her hands and began to sob. Ian had caught up to us and was standing behind her. He put his arms around her and spoke softly. "I'm sorry. I'll never drink like that again."

She pulled away from him and ran to me. Once she was near me, she turned to face him. "Do you even know what you did last night?"

"No," he whispered. "But I can imagine."

"You treated me like a whore, Ian. Like I was your personal whore!" She was pissed, and her tone definitely relayed that.

"I'm sorry."

"I can't talk to you right now. Just leave me alone. Both of you!"

She stormed away leaving both of us staring at the ground.

Ian spoke first. "I fucked up."

I looked at him. "Why did you get so drunk?"

"It was just beer! I didn't think I'd get so trashed."

"Come on."

We headed back to the house. Burns met us before we got to the house.

"She took off," he said abruptly.

"What do you mean she took off?" I blurted out.

"She jumped in the van. She said was going out, and she drove off."

"God damn it!" Ian bellowed.

I needed to keep him calm. "Now, now. She's a soul. It's not like she's going to be caught or anything. She probably went shopping or something. That's how women blow off steam." I explained as if I was the authority on women.

We went back to the house, and I realized that no one had let Kyle and Ice out of the root cellar. I opened the door to the laundry room to find Ice asleep. He was alone. _Where the hell is Kyle? _I shut the door and relocked it since Ice was still out cold. At the house, I went to the room Sunny had been using and cracked the door to peek inside. Kyle and Sunny were both in there, and they were dead asleep. Sunny must have let him out last night after I went back to the cave to retrieve my sleeping bag.

"Ian, look I'm still tired. I'm going to go back to bed. Will you check on Ice in a bit?"

"Sure. Burns went back to bed too. I guess I'll crash here on the couch again."

"Okay. See you later."

As I walked back to the cave I thought to myself what a fucked up night it had been. I crashed as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I woke several hours later to find Gina lying in the bed next to me flipping through one of my books.

She spoke first.

"You smell like beer."

"I'm old enough to drink," I reciprocated.

"I hate the smell of beer," she remarked.

"Gina, why are you here?"

"I want to know why you sent Evan off on this trip. Was it because you wanted me for yourself?"

"First of all, I didn't issue an order. It was a request. He didn't have to go. I asked him to go because usually it is either Carl, him, or I who takes this trip. I couldn't go because of all the shit that's going on here with Ice, and Burns returning home." I was curt with her because, in truth, I was still pissed about her tirade from the other day. "Besides aren't you the one who told me to leave you alone?" I sat up on the edge of the bed.

"I was angry."

"Look—if I wanted to break up you and Evan, I wouldn't have to resort to stupid bullshit like allowing you to sleep in. There are much easier ways."

"Oh, really?"

_How would you like it if I told you that Evan is probably getting his brains fucked out right now? _I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell her the truth.

"Gina, go back to your room."

She got on her knees and put her arms around my neck from behind me. "So you don't want to fuck me?"

I pulled her arms from my neck, and then I stood up. "You want to get laid, then why don't you try fucking your boyfriend? Or are you afraid you might disappoint him?"

My comment was cruel, and the tears came quickly. "I HATE YOU!" she screamed.

She was off the bed and out of the room in seconds. I picked up the book she was reading. Suddenly my own emotions got the better of me, and I threw the book at the wall. "Fuck!" I stood there with my fists clenched. _Could this fucking day get any worse? _It took several minutes for me to regain my composure.

I finally left my room and headed to the house. It was dinner time, and I hadn't eaten all day. I looked like shit, and I felt like shit, but at this point, I really didn't care. I learned the game was canceled due to hangovers, but Ian felt bad and still managed to hold a practice for the kids. I was impressed at his dedication. After dinner, I went to the root cellar. Ian and Wanda disappeared. Burns told me he heard them in the van, and it didn't sound like they were arguing. _Fucking fantastic. _I ended up telling Burns to just lock me in with Ice, and I spent the night in the root cellar. In hindsight, I figured it was probably a good thing because there was no chance of running into Gina. Gina was the last person I wanted to see right now.


	16. Chapter 16

**So, I just wanted to say thank you to the new readers that have taken the time to let me know that they are enjoying Nate's Diary: Emilia Armstrong, ****JasmineDragon22, and HZ. And it is always good to hear from some of my old favs: **Stubborn Pear, Lilacooper, SSRAINES, Liz510, and Alexandraaa13. I love hearing from my readers. It makes my day…

THE TRUTH

05/29/02 – Well, I'm not sleeping alone tonight. Unfortunately, the person I am sleeping with is passed out drunk, a soul, and definitely not a female. Ian and Wanda purposely disappeared so they could spend some alone time. I, on the other hand, finally did something right. I just did it the wrong way. I let Gina go. It killed me to do it, but it destroyed her. She'll probably never talk to me again.

Everyone on this mountain thinks I am the smartest guy here. In reality, I am probably the dumbest. I know what I want, but I have no rights to it. Do I face the truth and give up? No. Instead I hang onto the impossible dream like an idiot. Maybe one day, I'll push Ian too far, and he'll break me in half. Maybe then I'll learn, but for now, I cherish every moment of attention that Wanda gives me.

There was light knock on the door, but it was loud enough to rouse me from my slumber. Whoever entered, turned on the light, and I was blinded.

"Sorry. It's so dark in here compared to outside."

It was Wanda.

Ice spoke before I had the chance. "Dark really works when you are trying to sleep."

"Good morning to you too, cranky pants!"

I sat up. "Is everything okay?"

"It will be. Can I talk to you alone?"

I was afraid I was going to be berated for who the hell knows what. "Um, sure."

Wanda looked over at Ice. "We'll just be outside the door," Wanda assured him.

I followed her outside and closed the door behind us. The sun was shining brightly, and again, I was blinded by the light. I realized that I must look like crap, so I took the moment of blindness to rake my fingers through my hair in an attempt to make myself more presentable. She smiled at me, and then she reached out and took my hands in hers.

"Nate, I owe you an apology."

"No, you don't," I answered quickly trying to be gracious.

She squeezed my hands. "Please let me do this." She stared down at the ground. "I blamed you for the alcohol, but every one of these guys is over twenty one and should have been responsible for themselves." She raised her head and looked me in the eyes. "As it turns out, _you_ were the only responsible one. I was angry with Ian, and I took it out on you. I'm so sorry." She bit her lower lip.

_My god, she's beautiful. _I raised her hand to my lips and kissed it gently. "You see? This is what I love about you." I reached out and caressed her cheek. "You are the sweetest, most sincere person I have ever met."

"Thank you," she whispered barely loud enough to hear.

_I'm supposed to be taking the high road. _I lowered my hand from her cheek. "You need to go now."

"Why?"

I decided to go with the truth. "Because right now, I really want to kiss you."

She blushed. "Maybe a hug?" she offered.

I drew in a deep breath. This high road thing was not easy. "I'll want more. Go to Ian." I turned to go back through the door.

"Nate?"

I stopped, but I didn't turn to face her. "Yes?"

"I love you, too." I summoned every ounce of courage to go through that door. Once inside, I plopped on my cot and stared at the ceiling. She told me she loved me. How am I supposed to feel about that? She said I love you, too…too. So, she obviously knows how I feel about her. Love? I don't love anyone. No, that's not true. I love Gina. I'm just too stupid to admit it. I love Maria. She's like a mother to me. I love Burns. He's like a brother to me. I love my family. I love…her. I knew I wasn't ready to give up, not yet.

I saw Wanda again at the baseball game that was finally going to take place. She shot me a sweet smile when she saw me. It warmed my heart. Ian and I were the team captains, and we came together in the center of the field while the players gathered along side the unfinished dugouts. I thought I might pick Wanda again just to piss off Ian. It would also mean that I could be near her.

Ian had first pick. Kyle was already sticking out of the line ready to join his brother.

"For my first pick, I choose Wanderer," Ian spoke emphatically.

"No, Ian! Nate will take Kyle!" she blurted out.

I had to admit that it shocked the shit out of me.

He pulled her under his arm. "It's okay, Babydoll. He can't get both Kyle and Burns since I had first pick."

Burns and Kyle were probably equals physically, but since Kyle and Ian played together so well, it was only logical to split them up. I chose Kyle, and Ian chose Burns. Then I chose Blake, who was Ian's golden boy. I knew that would hurt him. I chose Rob, Tom, and Carl. Ian chose Carlos, Evan, and Dean, who was Carlos' younger brother, and Megan.

Jamie protested. "You chose Megan before me?"

Ian answered his question. "She's a better ball player than you are." Megan smiled at her boyfriend. I chose Rachel, Sarah, and Holly to complete the team. Ian chose Jamie and Kim. I loved my sister, but she wasn't the greatest baseball player. Ian also took five year old Ben as a tenth player. He would sit one person out each inning. We let Ice referee behind the plate. There were enough people present to keep him from escaping if he had the mind to. Jeb played the referee in the field.

Ian's team was up first, and they scored two runs before we managed to shut them down. Our team scored two runs as well. I'm not sure what was going on, but when I came up to bat, Ian and Wanda seemed to be having some kind of silent conversation. After the inning was over, Ian pulled Wanda aside. They were clearly arguing.

Ian was angry. "Next inning, you sit out." He looked down the bench at little Ben. "Ben! Next inning you play third. Megan you move to second."

Wanda sat and folded her arms across her chest. "Would you like me to run the field, Coach?" she scowled.

"Why? Do you need the exercise?" he said coldly.

I wasn't sure what was going on, but I planned to take advantage of it. We managed to keep them to only one run before we retired the side. Wanda sat on the bench while we were up at bat.

Wanda still had her arms folded tightly to her chest. She kept on looking over at me. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so I walked around the backstop to where she was sitting on the bench. I knelt down in front of her. "Everything okay?"

"Nope." She pulled her lips into a tight line.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to hurt you, Nate. It's not fair."

"Don't worry about it. It's okay. All's fair in baseball. I was expecting it." I patted my hand on her thigh and then got to my feet. Ian was watching, and he did not look happy.

My team didn't score during the inning, but I didn't care. Wanda cared about my feelings, and that meant the world to me. At the end of the inning, I ran back out to third base. Ian's team returned to the bench, and as the first batter came up, the arguing between Wanda and her fiancé escalated until they were yelling loud enough for me to hear the reason for the argument.

"Are you going to do what I tell you to do?" Ian demanded.

"Is my playing contingent on my baring my body? Cause if you want I can strip down to my bra and underwear," Wanda replied loudly.

"Don't be stupid," Ian snapped.

"I'm being stupid? Oh, that's right, you wouldn't want Nate to see _that_ much of me," she snapped back at him.

_Whoa! This argument is about me!_

"TIME!" I called. I walked over to the bench. "Guys. It's not that I am not enjoying the crap out of you two fighting over me, but this is a baseball game. Now could you please kiss and make up, so we can continue?" Kyle was cracking up on first base.

Wanda grabbed Ian's hand, pulled him off the bench, and dragged him away from the others. I'm not sure what exactly was said between them, but when they returned, Ian issued orders to some of the players and sat back down.

It was the bottom of their line up. Ben was up. He was hitting off a tee, and he hit the ball right to the pitcher. It was an easy throw to first base. Everyone told Ben it was a good hit. Next inning would be critical because they would be at the top of their lineup.

I came up to bat with one out, and a man on second. I hit a high ball to the outfield where Wanda was standing. She made the catch, and Ian was yelling "TWO! TWO!" Carl had taken too much of a lead and needed to get back. Wanda kept her composure and threw it right to Ian at second base. "YOU'RE OUT!" Jeb called. It was a double play.

Ian ran over and threw Wanda over his shoulder and ran back to the bench. All I could do was smile. She made a good play. On my way to third base, our eyes met, and I nodded to her. "Nice catch, Beautiful."

Carlos and Megan both made it on base. Burns hit a beauty to centerfield, but once again, Tom was there to make the catch. With Carlos and Megan on first and second respectively, it was Wanda's turn to bat. Ian was giving her words of encouragement. "Come on Wanderer. You can do it."

The first pitch was a ball. The second pitch was high, and Wanda tried to check her swing, but it was a bit too late. "She went!" Ice called from behind home plate.

"Come on, Wanderer. Elbows down, level swing," Ian encouraged her. Rachel threw the perfect pitch, and she bunted. It landed a few feet in front of the plate. Rob hustled to get to the ball and chucked it to first. "Safe!" Jeb called.

"Good girl!" Ian called out.

Ian was up, and the entire outfield back up about ten feet. I had bases loaded with a home run hitter coming up to bat. I had to make a decision. "TIME!" I yelled. I walked up to Blake on the pitcher's mound. "Walk him."

"What are you scared?" Ian said trying to taunt me.

"In more ways than I care to admit," I called back to Ian.

Blake threw four balls two feet over Ian's head. Ian walked to first, and Carlos scored. One run was better than four.

Even though we tried our best, I was no match for Ian and his coaching style. We lost eight to five. At least, it wasn't a slaughter.

As I walked off the field, I waved to Wanda and winked. "Good game, Beautiful."

She mouthed the words. "Thank you."

I headed off to my room to do a little light reading before dinner. I got caught up in the book I was reading, and after dinner, I went back to it. I didn't head on up to the house until dark. I was about to climb the back stairs when the back door opened, and Wanda came out.

"Hey, Beautiful? How's it goin'?" I tried to be pleasant.

"It's not going anywhere," she said flatly.

"Is something wrong? Where's Ian?"

"Not here. He went on a road trip with Burns."

"Hmm. That's odd. Usually, he fills me in when he is going somewhere."

"Yes. I didn't get the scoop either. All I got was 'trust me, I'll see you tomorrow'." She sighed in exasperation.

No Ian. What a shame. "Okay. You want to go for a walk?" I offered her my arm.

"I guess," she said sullenly.

"Aw, don't be like that. You're with me now. Have you ever been in the caves at night?"

"No. I'm not allowed in there after sundown."

"Well, I am the king around here, and I'm going to take you on the nighttime tour." I thought I would take her to my special place, the place where Gina and I had made love not too long ago.

It was dark because there were no lights in this part of the cave like in the caverns that Wanda called home. I put my arm around her shoulders as I guided her. I let her know when she needed to duck. Eventually, we came to the room with the huge hole in the ceiling. The sky was filled with stars shining brightly in the sky. It was a perfect night.

"This is one of my favorite places. Sometimes, I lie on the floor and just stare out at the stars. I couldn't believe that the aliens that invaded our earth could have come from such a beautiful heaven. Then I met you." I hugged her. It was nice.

"In the winter, when it snows, I like to stand here. It's just the weirdest feeling because technically, you're inside, but you're being snowed on." He paused.

"Come on, I'll show you my room." I took her hand and pulled her along. I don't know what I was expecting. I was hoping she might feel the moment, and I don't know—pull a 'Gina' and attack me.

"Wow, you have a lot of books," she said as she looked around my room.

"I like to read. I was a political science major in college. I was in my second year. I had aspirations of being a politician." I laughed. "I wanted to rule the world."

"Well, you rule the mountain," she pointed out.

"So, anyway, this is my place. I'm glad you got the chance to see it."

She smiled. "Thank you for showing it to me."

I knew she felt uncomfortable being here. "You want to head back to the house now?"

"Sure."

I took her by the hand and interlaced my fingers with hers. I led her slowly through the cave. After we got outside, I didn't let go of her hand, and she didn't seem to mind. Back at the house, Ice was with Jeb and some of the others watching a movie.

Wanda turned to me. "I think I'm going to go and sit on the front porch."

To me, it seemed as though she was indirectly asking me to join her. "I'll come with you," I said. She didn't argue.

We sat together on the steps of the porch. She was quiet as if something was bothering her.

"You seem preoccupied," I said quietly hoping for an answer.

"I'm just worried. The last time Ian kept a secret from me, they were slaughtering innocent souls in the attempt to remove the soul from the host body."

I placed my hand on hers. "He has Burns with him. I'm sure it's not as sinister as all that."

"I hope you're right."

"I'm sure I'm right." We sat in silence. I knew she must be thinking about it, so I decided to change the subject. I wanted to know what the deal was with her and Ian fighting about me. I really thought that I had become a non-issue in their lives, but obviously, that was not the case. I finally spoke. "That was quite a show you and Ian put on at the baseball game today."

"I know. We didn't realize how loud we were."

"You were fighting over me."

"Yes, he's jealous of you."

"Not as jealous as I am of him. What started the fight?"

"He wanted me to duplicate what I had done to him during the first game, and I told him I didn't want to because I didn't want to hurt you."

"That was nice of you but truthfully, seeing your body isn't at all painful." I grinned at the thought of seeing her beautiful body.

"Thank you. Anyway, he says I still have a thing for you."

_A thing for me. _I was reminded of two things: first and foremost, Ian's comment about her trying too hard when she kissed me before she left for the caverns, and then today, she tells me that she loves me. I moved closer to her.

"And what did you say?"

"Nothing." She got up and walked to the top of the stairs and onto the porch.

_Nothing? She said nothing?_ _Why didn't she defend herself? I would have._ I slowly climbed the stairs and leaned against the railing next to where she was. I needed to get to the truth.

"There's something that's been bothering me for a long time."

"What?"

"Something Ian said actually."

"What did Ian say?"

"The first time you were here, and Ian told you to go back to the caverns without him, he asked you to take me with you."

"I didn't because I didn't need to. The kiss wasn't…"

I turned towards her, so I was standing directly in front of her and put my arms on either side of her body. I held onto the top of the rail that she was leaning against. I knew I would never get another chance like this, and so I decided I was going to take it. I could smell her perfume. It was light and sweet, like her. My face was very close to hers when I spoke. "I told him that you kissed me, and that I kissed you back. He said you tried too hard."

"What?" she replied. I wasn't sure if she was acting the innocent, or if she was really unaware of where I was going with all this. I went for broke.

"He was right. You didn't _want_ to like the kiss. You talked yourself out of it before our lips ever touched."

"No, you're wrong. I…"

I interrupted her weak defense. "I can't believe there was no chemistry between us." I leaned in to kiss her. She put her head down.

"Stop it, Nate," she said barely above a whisper. She wasn't angry. She was afraid.

"You're afraid. Why?" I pressed.

She wouldn't look at me.

"I can't," she said the words, but in my eyes, she wasn't very convincing, not for a girl, who was on the verge of marriage.

I released the railing and put one arm around her waist. I pulled her close to me. I cradled her chin in my other hand and gently lifted her face, so she would look at me. I kept waiting for her to freak out, but she didn't. It seemed almost as if she wanted it as much as I did. "I just have to know," I whispered back to her.

She closed her eyes. "No." It was a weak response.

My heart was pounding in my chest. I tilted my head telegraphing the kiss, and she froze. My lips touched hers, and a jolt of electricity shot through my body. My dick went from zero to hero in seconds. I closed my mouth over hers and tasted her beautiful lips. At first, she didn't respond. I did it again and again before I gently slipped my tongue between her lips and into her mouth. She opened her mouth, and invited me in. I stroked her tongue, and she reciprocated. She was kissing me back. She could have pushed me away or stood there like a zombie, but she didn't. She kissed me back. She circled her tongue around mine, and my head nearly exploded. I was the one who finally ended the kiss. As I pulled away from her, I whispered, "I knew it."

Again, she wouldn't look at me. I put both hands on her face and pulled it up, so I could see her. Tears were streaming down her face. "You're in love with me, too. Admit it."

She pulled away from me and turned her back to me. I leaned against her back and pulled her hair off of her shoulder exposing her beautiful neck. I kissed her neck. Her body shivered. I wanted her.

I put my lips to her ear. "I want to make love to you."

She sidestepped away from me and spun around to face me.

"Are you out of your mind? Ian will destroy you!" she cried out.

I had completely forgotten about Ian, but at this point, I didn't care. Wanda was the only thing on my mind right now…if I could just make love to her.

"Then I'll die a happy man." I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Let go of me, Nate! I can't do this!" She stripped my arms off of her, and she fled. She ran into the house.

I entered the house, but I stayed in the kitchen, so I could listen to what was being said. I heard Ice's voice. "What's your hurry?"

"Please. Ice!" Wanda begged him.

Then I heard the shuffling of feet, and the back door slammed, followed by silence. I had left my journal in Burns's room. I retrieved it and sat at the kitchen table as I wrote.


	17. Chapter 17

**This was a tough one for me to write since I love Nate so very much. Your comments are appreciated.**

PAIN

05/30/2002 – It's after midnight, so officially, it is the thirtieth of May. It was a hell of a day. First, I dumped Gina against my better judgment, but then a wonderful thing happened. Ian took off with Burns on some road trip, and I got to spend some alone time with Wanda. I finally got the answer to the question that had been plaguing me for so long. Wanda does have feelings for me, real feelings. I kissed her and she kissed me back. Even though she knew she should push me away her defenses were weak, and she tasted me just as I tasted her. I know now that I want her and not just for a night. I want to try to make it work with her. She's upset right now. Not at me, at herself for realizing she has these feelings. I'll give her the night to mull it over. I hope she'll be more receptive in the morning.

I slept in Burns's bed. I was so keyed up I had a hard time sleeping. I finally got up at five thirty and took a long shower. My dick was hard, and I was thinking of Wanda. It didn't take long for the cum to rise up as I imagined her standing naked before me. The fact that she just happened to have Gina's beautiful full breasts did not escape me.

I dressed quickly because I was eager to see Wanda. I opened the door to the root cellar just as the sun was rising. Wanda was awake. I assumed that like me, she was excited about seeing me. I was very surprised when she tried to rush past me to get out. I cornered her and wrapped my arms around her waist. "I need to talk to you."

"Nate, there's nothing to talk about." Ice stirred on his cot. "This is not about you and me," she hissed.

"How can you say that? The kiss was real."

"It doesn't matter. Ian will hate me, and he's going to hurt you."

"I accept that." I figured Ian would take a pot shot at me. I would do the same if someone stole my girl.

"I don't." Ice was awake now and had been quietly listening to our conversation. She turned towards Ice. "Please, Ice, I need to get out of here. Will you help me?"

Ice slowly rose from his cot. He was a soul and not a man of violence. "Let her go, Nate." Ice said with authority. I wasn't going to fight him. I wanted him to accept us. Getting into a fist fight with him certainly would not be conducive of a peaceful clan. I released my hold on Wanda and held out the key. She snatched the key from my hand and bolted out the door locking us in.

Ice sat back down on his cot. "What the hell is going on?" he asked.

I lay back on Wanda's cot and wrapped my arm behind my head. "She loves me, but she's afraid to admit it."

"She seems pretty happy when she's with Ian," Ice declared.

"Then why did she kiss me?"

"Did she kiss you or did you kiss her?"

"I kissed her, but she kissed me back."

"Are you sure you didn't just _imagine _that she kissed you back?"

I sat up abruptly and exploded. "No! I didn't imagine it. When a girl sticks her tongue into your mouth, I think she's kissing you back!"

"Okay, calm down, dude."

I took a deep breath and lay back down. No more was said. It was about fifteen minutes later when Sunny and Kyle opened the door. As soon as they stepped inside, I was verbally assaulted.

"What the hell happened with you and Wanda?" Sunny demanded.

"What did she tell you?' I replied.

"She said that she screwed up her life, and then she took off."

"Took off? Where?"

"I don't know. She took in the van."

"She's afraid of Ian."

Now Kyle spoke for the first time. "What do you mean she's afraid of Ian?"

"She and I shared an intimate moment, and I know she's in love with me. She's afraid that Ian is going to hurt her. She ran."

Again, it was Kyle who spoke. "Did you sleep with her?"

"I don't think that's any of your business."

Kyle lunged for me, but Sunny was quick. She put herself between us. She pushed against Kyle's chest. "Kyle, stop! Nate's right. This isn't our business. This is Wanda and Ian's business." She turned to me. "If I were you, I would make myself scarce for a while. Do you know when Ian will be back?"

"I don't even know where they went. Do you want me to call them?"

"No. I need time to think about this. I only hope that Wanda will come to her senses and return before Ian does."

At that point, I got up from the cot and exited the root cellar leaving Ice in the hands of Kyle and Sunny. I went for a walk to try to understand all of this. If the kiss meant nothing, then why leave? She could have pretended like nothing happened…or…she could have said that I forced her to kiss me. She obviously had the same feelings for me that I had for her. And yesterday they had that horrific fight at the field over me. She must be doing the same thing I'm doing. She took off so she could figure out what she wants. I decided I would face Ian when he returned, and I would stand my ground.

I returned to my room and was sitting quietly on my bed reading a book when all of a sudden, Ian barged into my room.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? WHERE IS WANDERER?"

I stood up. I wasn't going to back down. "You were gone. I begged her to let me make love to her. She and I spent the evening together. She told me she loves me, Ian."

He never said a word. Instead he hauled off and punched me in the face. That first blow hit me right in the jaw, and I heard a crack. Then I felt the excruciating pain. He hit me again. This time it was my nose. I went down. I was on the floor, and he straddled me. He hit me again. I was unable to defend myself. I wasn't even sure where I was at that point. All I felt was the pain until I realized that I couldn't breathe. His hands were wrapped around my throat, and he had squeezed my airway shut. I was going to die, and there wasn't damn thing I could do about it. I was on the verge of passing out when just as quickly as this had begun, it ended. Someone or some ones had pulled him off of me. I opened my eyes, but I couldn't even focus on anything. The whole room was distorted. I heard a scuffle, and the sound of Burns's voice.

"Use Ice's rope. Tie him up."

Then I heard an angel's voice. "Oh my god! Nate!"

Gina was kneeling over me. I was in the fetal position. I couldn't talk. I was barely dealing with the pain. I could hear Ian yelling.

"I'll kill him! Let me go, Kyle!"

"Ian, you're out of control!" Kyle replied.

I opened my eyes briefly as they were dragging Ian to his feet. Gina was hysterical. I wanted to comfort her, but I couldn't.

Burns was on his feet now. "Take him to the root cellar and lock him in. Gina, you stay with Ian. I need to get the meds."

It was suddenly quiet except for Gina, who was sobbing.

"Nate, what did you do to make him so mad?"

I couldn't answer. My head was pounding from the pain. My face felt like I had been hit buy a MAC truck. I was rocking trying to endure the pain.

"Nate, I know how you are feeling. I wish I could take some of the pain for you. You think it will last forever, but it won't."

She began to sing through her tears.

"Hello darkness, my old friend  
>I've come to talk with you again<br>Because a vision softly creeping  
>Left its seeds while I was sleeping<br>And the vision that was planted in my brain  
>Still remains<br>Within the sound of silence" **

Her voice was beautiful, and I found myself listening to the words, and it helped me to deal with the pain.

"In restless dreams I walked alone  
>Narrow streets of cobblestone<br>'Neath the halo of a street lamp  
>I turned my collar to the cold and damp<br>When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light  
>That split the night<br>And touched the sound of silence" **

I reached out and grabbed her hand. She started to cry again. I summoned everything I had in me to utter the words, "sing some more". Only it sounded more like I said "Sin sonore".

"Oh Nate!" She wrapped herself around my body. "Hang in there. Help is on the way." She composed herself and began to sing again.

"And in the naked light I saw  
>Ten thousand people, maybe more<br>People talking without speaking  
>People hearing without listening<br>People writing songs that voices never share  
>And no one dared<br>Disturb the sound of silence" **

Her melodic voice was soothing. I found that the deepest pain came in waves, and I squeezed her hand when the pain heightened. She sat up and stroked my hair with her free hand.

Then without warning, Burns and Maria rushed into the room stopping the soothing melody that sprang forth from Gina's mouth.

"How is he doing?" Burns asked.

"He's in a lot of pain," Gina said quietly.

Burns got to his knees and gently cradled me in his arms. He rose to his feet and carried me to my bed. I looked into his eyes and only now realized the tears that had trickled from the corners of my eyes from the pain.

"I've got you, Nate. We'll get you fixed up," he whispered.

Maria slowly approached me as I lay on my back on the bed. "I'm not even sure where to start." I could see that she, too, was trying desperately to hold back the tears.

"Here, I have the 'No Pain.' Start with that."

The thing is 'No Pain' needs to be taken orally and that meant opening my mouth, and with my broken jaw…well…needless to say, it was excruciatingly painful. I screamed as Burns pried my mouth open and Maria jammed the slip of 'No Pain' into my mouth. Gina was falling apart.

"Gina, maybe you should go," Burns advised her.

"No, I want to be here for him," she said bravely.

In that minute, the 'No Pain' took effect, and I suddenly was relieved of the pain I had been feeling. "Let her stay," I muttered, only it again came out garbled due to the fact that my jaw was still broken.

Maria broke the tension in the room. "Feeling better?" she asked as she drew my attention to her.

I nodded my head.

"Good, let's see what we can do about getting you back to the Nate I know and love." Burns and Maria worked together and twenty minutes later, I was sitting up. Maria had a wet towel, and she was wiping the blood on my face from the broken nose. "You need a shower," she observed.

"I'm tired. I think I'd like to rest."

"Okay, you rest a bit. It's been quite an ordeal. We'll talk later," Maria said calmly. She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

Burns came to me next. "I'll tell Ian he must leave the mountain."

"No. Don't tell him that."

"Why? He tried to kill you, and he would have succeeded if we hadn't gotten here on time."

"If he goes, he will take Wanda with him. I'll never see her again."

"Are you out of your mind? Seriously?"

"I'm in love with her. I don't know what's going on, but if he leaves with her, I'll never find out the truth."

Gina spoke up. "I'm going to go now."

I knew she was upset that Wanda held so much power when it came to my heart.

"Gina." I called out trying to stop her. She left without turning back. _Shit!_ I hated hurting her. She really was an angel, and I loved her. I just couldn't deny that I loved Wanda more. I couldn't rationalize it either.

I slept for several hours. I was awakened by my sister Kim. She was carrying a tray with dinner on it.

"Good afternoon, sleepy head."

"Kim, what time is it?"

"It's five-thirty."

"Damn, I slept all afternoon."

"I'd like to know why I have to find out from your ex-girlfriend that you've been nearly beaten to death by Ian."

"What are you talking about?"

"Didn't Ian break your jaw and your nose?" she asked with her hands on her hips. For the first time, she sounded like my mother.

"Yes, who is this ex-girlfriend?" I was worried that everyone knew about me and Gina.

"Oh come on, Nate. Did you really think that I didn't know about you and Nadine?"  
>"You knew about that?"<p>

"When you dumped her, she went into a funk. I questioned her on it when I noticed that she was avoiding you. She begged me not to say anything."

I scratched my head. "Wow. I never knew that she told anyone." It made me wonder how many others knew about our tryst.

"So, how are you feeling?" she asked, as the expression on her face turned to concern.

I put my hand under my chin and moved my jaw in a circle. "A lot better. The pain I felt when I broke my leg was nothing compared to the pain I felt today."

She sat on the edge of the bed and brushed my hair back behind my ear. "Didn't I warn you? Didn't I say that kings have been murdered before?"

"You did. I was stupid in the way I approached Ian. I was defiant, but I know that she loves me."

"Burns says you won't kick him off the mountain. He's going to kill you for sleeping with her."

"That's just it. I didn't sleep with her."

"Then tell him that."

"No. If he thinks I slept with her, then he will have to live with that if he expects to keep her. She professed her love to me."

"Even if she loves you, she is going to lie to him because she loves him. She's with him now."

"She is?" I scrambled to get off the bed.

"Nathan Beauregard Downey! You sit down and eat this dinner!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. No one on this mountain knew of my middle name with the exception of my sister and Uncle George, who most likely had forgotten it. "Kim!" I said in protest.

"Were do you think you are going? He is locked in the root cellar with her. I'm told that Burns and Sunny went on a road trip to find meds for him. He's apparently hell bent on destroying the root cellar, and he's broken both of his hands in the process. Wanda is trying to deal with him, and Kyle is guarding the door. Without Burns, Kyle is not going to be able to stop him this time if he decides to take you out. I'm told that it took four guys to pull him off of you."

I thought back to this morning. I knew Burns, Kyle, and Ice were there, but I couldn't remember a fourth. Gina was the fourth person that I knew of.

"Have you seen Gina?"

"No, she didn't come to dinner either. I don't know why," she responded.

I took a bite of my dinner. It was chicken risotto, one of my favorites.

I swallowed before I spoke. "She saw me this morning. She must have been passing by when it all happened. She stayed with me while Burns took off to get the meds and Maria. I think she was a little freaked out."

"Do you want me to check on her?"

"No. Give her some time. I'll go to her later when I know what's going on, and I'll talk to her. I wish Evan was back." I said this because I wanted to remind Kim that Gina and Evan were more or less a couple. It would help keep the possible thought of me and Gina from entering her mind.

"Okay. You are a mess, you know that?"

I smiled. "I know—and to think I'm usually so sure of myself."

"No, I mean you—look at yourself! You have blood all over you."

I looked down at my shirt. I _was _a mess.

"I guess I should shower before I do anything."

"I think that is a good idea. If Sarah sees you, she's going to freak out, too."

I chuckled. "All my ladies worried about me." I joked. "How's Maria?"

"She's quiet. I think she's keeping it all in."

"I know. I need to talk to her, too."

"I love you, little brother. Stay away from that parasite."

"Kim! Please refrain from using that word. Wanda is a woman, and I happen to be in love with her."

"You're out of your mind. You know that, right?"

"That may be, but it is what it is."

"Well, stay away from Ian."

"I'll try."

She kissed me on the tip of my nose and left the room. I quickly finished my dinner and bolted to the house for a quick shower. I ran into Sarah, and just as Kim had predicted, my little crush was upset when she saw the blood on my shirt.

"Nate! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. All healed. See?" I held my arms out and turned slowly so she could see that everything was working.

Sarah vaulted into my opened arms and squeezed me tight. "I was so afraid."

"I'm okay. I guess I shouldn't tangle with guys who are bigger than me."

"Megan said you are in love with Wanda. I thought you loved me!" she said in a whiny voice.

"I do love you, but I know that very soon, you will grow up and realize that I am too old for you, and then my heart will be the one that is broken."

"I'll never think that."

I smiled at her. "You say that now, but time will tell, princess." I stroked her head. "Listen, I am headed for the shower."

"Okay, I'll see you later?"

"I'm not leaving the mountain."

I kissed her on the cheek and continued on my way. The house was full of people, and all eyes turned to me when I entered the back door. I used the clothes I was carrying to shield my chest, so no one would see the blood.

"I'm just going to take a shower," I said meekly, as I sidestepped down the hall to the bathroom.

I quickly showered and shaved. I emerged from the bathroom feeling like a new man. I marched out to the root cellar not knowing what to expect. Kyle was sitting outside the door. He stood when he saw me approaching.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"I am, now. What's going on in there?"

"I don't know. The walls look like Swiss cheese. Ian's got broken hands, but it didn't stop him from punching the wall again. At least, it wasn't Wanda. I found some 'No Pain', and we got him to take it. The problem is if he's not feeling the pain, I have no idea what else he might be capable of."

"I want to go in there," I said bravely.

"I can't let you do that," he said as straightened himself into a threatening stance.

"Fine. They can't stay in there forever."

I walked away towards the house. Just as I sat down on the back steps, the truck pulled into the driveway. It was Evan returning from the gypsies. I was relieved, but I was upset, too. It was still daylight which means he took the chance of being seen. I sprung from my perch and walked out to meet him. He opened the door and stepped out. He was wearing sunglasses which he removed as soon as he saw me.

"You drove back during the day?" I scolded him.

"I'm sorry, Nate. I had to get out of there. She was going to kill me if I had stayed any longer."

I couldn't help but laugh. I had been there. I knew exactly how he was feeling. Nadia was insatiable. "Did you use all the condoms?"

"Yes!"

"So, do you want to go and attack Gina?"

"Hell no! I mean I want to see her and hold her, but I think I'm good on the sex front for a few days."

"Yeah, well don't let Gina know that," I advised. "You still have my phone?"

"Sure. Here you go." He reached into his pocket and handed me my phone.

"Do you know where Gina is?"

"No, but wherever she is, she's upset. I'm pretty sure she'll be happy to see you right now."

"Why is she upset?"

"I managed to get the shit kicked out of me today, and unfortunately, she was the one who witnessed the carnage."

"Who kicked the shit out of you?"

"Ian. Look I have to make a call. I'll talk to you later?"

"Okay." He leaned in and gave me a manly hug and then took off for the cave.

I immediately dialed Wanda's cell phone. It rang and rang, and then it disconnected as if she had hung up on me. _Crap!_

I was about to turn and go back to the steps when Burns pulled into the driveway. He was driving the car that was usually kept on the other side of the house. He rarely drove it, but it belonged to his mother, and he refused to get rid of it. I wondered why he didn't just take the other van. The driveway was jammed packed now. In order, there was our van that Burns and Ian had taken, followed by the truck that Evan had taken, the van from the caverns that Wanda had taken, and now the car.

Burns jumped out of the car. Sunny followed. I jumped into the procession as they headed directly for the root cellar. Kyle opened the door, and the three of us marched inside. It was dark, and it took a minute for my eyes to adjust even though the sun was now waning in the sky. The room looked like the burrow of a groundhog. There were holes everywhere, and blood. Blood was spattered on what was left of the walls and the floor. Wanda was sitting in Ian's lap with her legs wrapped around him. They definitely did not look like they had been fighting. Sunny called out 'Yes' and pulled her fist in a victory pump.

Ian focused on me and growled, "You son of a bitch. I'll kill you!"

Wanda whispered something in his ear, and he remained in control. She stroked his face until he stopped looking at me, and he was focused only on her. "That's better." She replied and then she continued to speak, although she kept her eyes focused directly on Ian. "Burns will you come and take care of Ian while I talk to Nate?"

"I don't want you talking to him." Ian barked.

"Please, Ian, I need to do this. We won't leave. We can talk right here. I won't talk to him unless you say it's okay."

Ian closed his eyes. "Go."

"Thank you." She carefully climbed off of Ian's lap and turned towards me. I was standing near the door.  
>She crossed to me, but stopped a few feet short. "Hey—are you better?"<p>

I was saddened to know she had made up with him. I had hoped that she would have sympathy for my plight and comfort me the way she was comforting him. "Yes. I'm better now."

"I heard it was bad. I tried to warn you."

"I know."

"Why did you lie to Ian?"

"About what?" I wasn't really sure what she was referring to. As far as I knew, I hadn't lied at all.

"About us. Why did you tell him that I slept with you?"

"I didn't lie about anything," I said with a straight face. I never told Ian that I had slept with her. It was something that he assumed, and the fact that he _could _assume it, meant that he didn't trust her. It was a small window of doubt, and I jumped on it.

She pursed her lips. "Are you saying you slept with me?"

"You know you wanted it," I replied.  
>It wasn't a lie. She did want it, but she was afraid. Afraid she would destroy her relationship with Ian; a relationship that, in my opinion, shouldn't be in the first place.<p>

Wanda stumbled backwards. She looked positively wounded. Ian roared and lunged towards me. Kyle and Burns pulled Ian back. I wasn't about to stand there and let him pummel me again. The pain was still very fresh in my mind. I stepped quickly towards the door.

"I'll always love you," I said in a soft voice before I exited the root cellar. My heart was thumping out of my chest. Fear and disappointment were the two emotions that had taken hold of my body. I felt a shudder run down my spine. I walked quickly back to the cave. I entered my room and picked up the book that had been knocked to the floor when Ian had barged into my room. Minutes later, there was a knock at the door, and I felt the hair rise up on the back of my neck. I looked around the room for something I could use as a weapon. I had a gun in the drawer of my nightstand, but I didn't want to take his life. I just didn't want him to take mine.

"Who is it?" I called out, as I stood there trembling.

"It's me, Sunny."

"Come in." I remained standing unsure of what was coming through the door.

Sunny entered followed by Kyle. I instinctively backed up.

"I'm not here to hurt you." Kyle clarified. "Ian sent us. He asked that you come to the house. He said he is not going to hurt you."

"And you believe him?"

"There are others at the house. I don't think anyone would let him do anything. After all, these are your people, right?"

"True. I'll be there shortly."

I changed the sheets on my bed, and then I headed towards the house. Kyle was right. There were a lot of others at the house. As a matter of fact, more and more people kept arriving until it seemed that everyone was there. Ian exited the bedroom, and he seemed pleased with the turnout. Suddenly it hit me. I knew exactly why he had everyone here. I did not want to be a part of this.

Gina exited the kitchen, and her eyes immediately met mine. She dropped her eyes quickly as Evan exited the kitchen and wrapped his arm around her waist. I turned to leave and saw Wanda as she was coming down the hall from the bathroom. She looked exquisite. She too seemed baffled by the great number of people in the house.

"Here she is." Ian took Wanda by the hand and led her to the front of the crowd. He turned to her and spoke to her, but it was loud enough for the crowd to hear. "As you know, I went on a special road trip with Burns. I wanted to tell you why."

He addressed the crowd. "Please bear with me. This will be the third time I am doing this, so with luck, I'll do this right."

Ian turned back to Wanda and placed his hand on her cheek as he spoke.

"Wanderer, I have marveled at your resilience when fighting for your life and Melanie's. I have personally taken your beautiful soul from Melanie's body and placed it into this _gorgeous_ body. I have been a part of the ups and downs of a new relationship, and through it all, I have never stopped loving you. Today, I nearly walked away from you for the second time, but thankfully, the fear of losing you snapped me back to reality. I love you Wanderer, every piece of you. I know I don't want to live on this earth without you, and you have expressed the same commitment to me time and time again. I know that your kind soul feels love for many in many different ways, but I also know that _our_ love is greater than all the others combined. For this reason, I ask you…" He pulled a little red box from his pocket and got down on one knee. "Wanderer, will you marry me?"

_A ring? Holy shit. Burns took him to get a ring?_

She shook her hands as if they were wet. She slowly took the box from Ian's hand.

"Go ahead, open it. I picked it out myself."

"How?" She was clearly confused as to how he had acquired the ring.

"We went at night when the place was closed. I chose from the displays in the window. In the morning, Burns went in and purchased it. Open it."

She carefully opened the box. She raised her hand to her mouth.

"You see? The sapphires are blue like my eyes. They protect the beautiful sparkling diamond in the middle. That's you."

I wanted to vomit. I needed to get out of there.

"Oh, Ian! I don't know what to say!"

_You should say no!_

He chuckled. "Yes would be nice."

"Yes!" she cried out, as she dove into his arms.

I bolted out the back door. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. It was dark now. I walked off into the woods, and I just stared up into the sky. Of all the planets to land on, why did she have to land here?

"Nate?"

It was Gina. She had followed me. I turned to see her carefully stepping through the underbrush towards me.

"Gina. I'm sorry about hurting you earlier today. I…"

She stopped me by slamming into my body as she wrapped herself tightly around me. "I had no right to get mad. I know you are hurting."

"Gina. I've been such an idiot. I should have given you the chance you deserved. I'd like to do that if you'll have me."

A look of pain came over her face.

"What?"

"Evan said he missed me. He asked me to officially be his girl."

"You said yes." It was a statement, not a question.

"I'm sorry. You said you don't do relationships. I need someone to be there for me."

_Could this day get any freakin' worse?_

I walked away from her and took a few deep breaths. I folded my hands behind my head in an effort to keep my head from exploding. I needed to be happy for her. I forced a smile to my face.

"Evan is a lucky guy." My voice hitched. "I'll always be here for you."

"Thank you. Nate, I haven't had a best friend since Kevin. I want to call you my best friend."

"Sure."

She hugged me again and then backed away slowly.

"I'll see you inside?"

"In a little bit," I replied.

A few minutes later, I summoned the courage to go back into the house.  
>I couldn't even force a smile though. The truth was I was upset. I was upset over losing Wanda, and I was upset for giving away Gina. The back door slammed as I entered. It did not go unnoticed by the happy couple. I ignored their stares and headed to the kitchen.<p>

I figured I could hide out here for a while. Kim stuck her head in and announced that everyone needed to come into the living room. _Great. What, is he going to propose again? _I was the last one out, andKim handed me a glass of champagne. She stood next to me and grabbed my hand and squeezed it. As the crowd quieted down, she leaned to my ear. "It's better this way."

Ian looked directly at me, raised his beer, and chugged most of it down. I glanced over at Wanda while Ian drank. Our eyes met briefly, and I had to turn away. I was so damn hurt. Ian was taking great pleasure in flaunting his engagement in my face. I wasn't the kind of guy to wish death on anyone, but right now, I entertained the thought.

Burns crossed the room to where the happy couple was, and he cleared his throat. He spoke to the crowd in a casual tone.

"Hey, everyone." He paused and looked down at the floor for a moment, and then looked back up at the crowd. "When I first met all of you, I felt like a square peg forced into a round hole. Then a few months ago, I ran into Jeb's clan out there in the desert, and I found out that I wasn't the only soul who had chosen life with the humans. I spotted her immediately trying to hide among them." He smiled at Wanda. "Imagine my surprise to finally meet someone like me. Of Course, I thought we would be the perfect match. Little did I know that she had already found _her_ perfect match. Ian has shown love for her that I could only dream of. They are two people who challenge each other every day, but in the end, their hearts never waiver. I salute you and congratulate you, Ian and _Wanderer._ I hope you share a long and happy life."

Even my best friend was happy for them. I realized that I had been a fool. Regardless of the feelings Wanda may have for me, she would always be his.

"Here, here!" Everyone cried as they raised their glasses.

Ian kissed his beautiful fiancée as Kyle stepped up to where Burns had been standing. Kyle hugged Ian before he began his speech.

"Hi guys. In case you don't know, I am Ian's brother." Everyone laughed because it was obvious that they were brothers. "Okay, I get it. We look a little alike." Everyone laughed again. When the laughter died down, Kyle continued. "When I first met Wanda—excuse me, _Wanderer_, I hated her and everything she stood for. So did Ian." It killed me that a guy who tried to kill her was holding her tightly in his arms. "Our mission in life was to destroy her, and we very nearly did. But Ian here, he saw something in her. He looked beneath the surface and saw her soul. Pardon my pun." He paused. "Every moment he spent with her, he fell more and more in love with her. He's seen her for what she truly is, and even _that_ did not deter his love for her. These two have been to hell and back more than once, but they always hang on. You've got to admire that." Kyle turned to Wanda and continued to speak. "Wanderer, you've made me a believer. I love you, and I will be very proud to call you my sister. Congratulations, both of you." Kyle pulled Wanda away from Ian, and then he hugged her tenderly and kissed her face.

Again the crowd shouted, "Here, here," and everyone drank.

It was Ian's turn to speak. "Thank you. My beautiful fiancée and I would like to invite _all_ of you to our wedding. We are shooting for a Fall fiesta. We are not sure whether it will be held here or the caverns, but regardless, I hope to see each and every one of you there. Enjoy the rest of the party!"

I took the opportunity to sneak back into the kitchen. Maria followed me in and grabbed me by the elbow. "Let's go out to the front porch and chat."

As soon as we were outside, I sat in one of the two rocking chairs.

Maria handed me a beer.

"I don't want to get drunk." I replied.

"Nate, you are wound up like a top. Have a drink to take the edge off."

I took the beer from her and raised it to my lips. I sucked down half the bottle.

"There—happy now?" I said rather sarcastically.

"Nathan, I didn't do this to you. I told you that she was not like us."

"Yeah, you also said Gina was out to trap me with sex."

"I also said you were going to do what you were going to do."

"I don't want to talk about this."

"Have another beer. Just remember, Wanda has made her choice, and you need to respect that, regardless of how you feel about it."

"Yes. Mother." I said it with venom.

"I love you, Nathan." She walked towards the door. "Oh, and don't let Ian see you cry. He doesn't deserve that satisfaction."

I sat out there alone for a good while and contemplated all of the movements I had made up till now. I decided that the first thing I would do would be to apologize to Wanda for hurting her this afternoon when I didn't make it clear to Ian that I hadn't slept with her. Then I would do the same for her that I promised to Gina. I would be her friend. I would be the best friend that I could be.

I finally got up from my chair after I finished the two beers that Maria had left for me. I went looking for Wanda. I found her in the living room talking to Sunny and Megan. I interrupted the conversation and asked her if I could talk to her alone for a second. She stepped away from the girls and walked slowly towards the bedroom door. I followed, and she stopped just outside the bedroom. She turned and looked directly at me in what seemed to be anticipation.

"I would like to say that you look especially beautiful tonight."

"Thank you," she said sweetly.

"You're glowing," I vocalized my thoughts, as I gazed at her smiling face.

"I'm happy," she replied.

"I wanted to apologize to you for what I said, or rather, for what I _didn't_ say this afternoon. I was stupid. I was hoping Ian would dump you, and you would run to me."

"I'm sorry he disappointed you."

"He loves you. I see that now. I just wanted to say congratulations." I leaned in and gently kissed her on the cheek.

"Thank you," she said in a low voice.

There wasn't much more to say. I took my leave. That night as I lay in my bed, I thought about what a painful day it had been both physically and emotionally. I prayed tomorrow would be better.

**The Sounds of Silence lyrics by Simon and Garfunkel


	18. Chapter 18

**I got a lot accomplished this week. I am patting myself on the back. I even managed to write two more chapters of Nate's Diary. I want to thank shocking pinx for the review, although I get the sneaking suspicion that I already know you, and you have changed your name. Welcome to KC who just completed reading A Soul's Hope. I hope are reading this story as well. So, without further adieu…**

SCOUT'S HONOR

05/31/2002 – I have had an epiphany. It was only realized after great suffering both physically and emotionally, all at the hands of one man. After tasting the sweet lips of the beautiful porcelain soul, I was taught the lesson of stealing another man's property. Wanda is truly Ian's property. He showed me that his wrath fueled by jealousy and betrayal is more powerful than any scheme I could conjure up. The physical pain I suffered at his bare hands is one I would not wish on anyone, especially his beautiful fiancée. I have come to realize that he is capable of destroying any man who stands in his way. Wanda loves him, but I fear for her safety. I pray he never finds reason to turn on her. For that reason, I have decided to be there for her in whatever capacity she will have me. It is more important to ensure her happiness than my own.

I would have taken Gina in a public relationship to prove to Ian that my interference would cease to be an issue. Unfortunately, she, too, has chosen another.

I am alone. In days gone by, I had preferred it that way. It has only been since I have met these two lovely ladies that my yearning to love and be loved has surfaced. I will try to shove these feelings under the rug…for now.

I slept better than I thought I would. I woke with a renewed sense of purpose. I would do whatever it took to make Wanda and Gina's lives as comfortable and happy as I was capable of. It was early. I was just finished writing in my journal, when there was a light knock on the door.

It could have been anyone. Gina came to mind as well as Maria.

"Who is it?"

"It's Burns. Can I come in?"

"Sure thing."

He opened the door and stuck his head in. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but Ian is with me, and he has something he wants to ask you."

_Fan-tastic. _He couldn't be coming to finish me off. Burns wouldn't allow that. Maybe they were coming to relieve me of my leadership. It wouldn't be the first time in history that there was dissention among the ranks. Survival of the fittest. Y_eah, that's not me._

Burns pulled me from my daydream. "Do you mind if we come in?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Of course you do. We can come back another time if you prefer."

I took a deep breath and waved him in. Burns stepped onto the room with Ian right behind him. They both looked gravely serious.

"We have a proposition," Burns announced.

"What? You want to take my leadership from me? Regardless of what happened with Wanda, it does not detract from the fact that I am a good leader."

Burns stepped forward. "Nate, you are my best friend. I would never dream of questioning your authority."

"Then what is it you want?"

Ian spoke for the first time. "Wanda and I would like to get married here on the mountain."

"Why? Are you not done torturing me?" I was irate that he would have the balls to ask.

"Please," Ian replied. "Wanda and I have made many friends here on the mountain, and then there is our family back at the caverns. There isn't enough room to accommodate both clans in the caverns. There is plenty of land here, and we thought if we could construct a few buildings…"

Burns took up where Ian left off. "Two decent sized buildings between the cave and the house. One can be used as the reception hall, and later, as a schoolhouse. The other to be used as sleeping quarters. The cave is getting crowded and some of the clan can move in there after the nuptials."

"You want to build?"

Ian again replied. "Yes, we've even drawn up some basic plans." Ian pulled some papers from his back pocket. He held them out for me to see.

I reached for them cautiously. As I took them, Ian blurted out. "I'm sorry about yesterday, man."

I glanced up at him quickly and then looked back at the schematics they had drawn. I did not believe for one minute that he was sorry. I tried to keep my head on the business at hand.

"This is very interesting. So, you say we can use one of the buildings as a schoolhouse?"

"Yes, or whatever you want to use it for," Ian replied.

"Maria can use it for a dining hall for dinner," Burns added.

"Maria would love that," I remarked.

"In the evenings, you could let the clan come in and play games like poker and dominoes, instead of cramming them into the root cellar," Ian suggested.

"Okay, I'm sold."

Ian looked hopeful. "Then we can have the wedding here?"

"I didn't say that. You see, this is a big decision. I don't know how some of the others might feel about all of this. I can't in good conscience make this decision on my own. This is the kind of thing that should be voted on. I'll tell you what. I will gather everyone in the cave tonight at five o'clock. You can present your proposal, and everyone can vote on it."

"Everyone?" Ian asked.

"Well—those who live on the mountain with the exception of Priscilla, Dean, and Ben. They are too young to understand the implications."

"Fair enough," Burns concluded. "Five o'clock, then."

The two of them turned and walked towards the door. Before they left, Ian turned quickly and spoke. "Thank you. I appreciate your not shutting us down."

As with any small community, the word spread quickly. By lunch, it was all anyone was talking about. After lunch, I decided to do a little light reading on the front porch. The windows and the front door were open, so I heard someone rustling in the kitchen. I ignored it until I heard Maria in the kitchen as she confronted Ian.

"I want you to know that we do not condone violence on this mountain," she said sternly.

"I want to apologize for what I did to Nate. I snapped because I thought he slept with her."

"Well, even if he did, unless it was rape, you had no right to lay your hand on him."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Nathan is the leader of this mountain, and he refused to force you to leave. If it was up to me, you and your girlfriend would be out of here."

"I understand."

"No, I don't think you do. So, let me say this in terms that you _can_ understand. Nathan is like a son to me. I promised his mother on her death bed that I would watch over him, and I have no intentions on burying him. Do you get that?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Now, if anything should ever happen between my boy and your girl? You take it up with her, or I will have you kicked off of this mountain so fast your head will spin."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Now go about your business."

_Holy shit! _I was shocked. Maria sure put him in his place. I wasn't sure how much of an effect her words would have on him, but it felt good to know that someone like her was in my corner.

At five o'clock, the main room of the cave was crowded. Just as the clan had gathered in honor of the wedding proposal, they had all gathered for this proposal as well. As much as I hated the fact that all this was being proposed for the wedding, the fact that these buildings would be put to good use afterwards was, in my opinion, worth the work.

I stepped up to the podium, and the crowd fell silent.

"Thank you everyone for taking the time out of your day to come here. I have been approached by some of our friends with a proposition that could change the way we live here in our community. I do not feel comfortable with making this decision as it impacts each of you. I do not wish to offer my opinion, but will cast my secret vote just as I will ask each of you to do. At this time, I will ask our good friend and coach to step forward to present his intentions." I turned to Ian. "Ian?"

Ian stepped up to the podium. He was clearly nervous. Wanda walked forward as well and took Ian by the hand as a show of support. Ian took a deep breath and began his speech.

"Hello, everyone. As you all know, last night I asked this beautiful lady standing next to me to be my wife. Most of you attended the party that followed. We were up late last night trying to come up with a solution that would allow our friends back at the caverns and all of you here to be able to attend the wedding. It has come to our attention that the caverns could not possibly accommodate the additional people we would be expecting to attend. However, here on this mountain, there is plenty of room for all. The land extending between the house and the cave is in a state of disuse. If we could build, we could add so much to this place. Burns and I discussed our options, and we feel that we could easily erect not one, but two buildings on this land. The first would be used for the reception. It could then later be used as a combination schoolhouse, dining room, and game room. The other building will be a bunkhouse. Visitors can have a place to stay or you can use it for yourselves. We have even discussed putting heat into these buildings for the winter months. I intend to stay the rest of the summer to build these, and Burns has promised to return in a few weeks to help. I would welcome help from any of you as well. Oh, and I will still coach the kids in the early evenings." He ended his speech abruptly and stepped back.

I stepped forward once again. "Does anyone have any questions?" People started talking quietly to each other, but only one question was asked.

Miranda stepped forward. "When is the wedding, and when will the building be available to be used as a schoolhouse?" I knew Miranda would be interested. She had complained many times that she did not have the privacy she needed in the main cave while she teached. Anyone and everyone generally barged through the main cave en route to their rooms disrupting the class.

I turned to Ian. "Ian? Would you care to answer this question?"

Ian stepped back up. "The wedding is planned for late October or early November. Since we are building two halls, I would say that it would be best to complete one before attempting the second. This way we can iron out any problems we might come across to make building the second one easier. I have never done this before, and I'm sure it will be a challenge, but it is a challenge that I look forward to. You can begin to use the first building as soon as it is complete."

I stepped up and stood next to Ian. "Okay, if there are no more questions, then we will put it to a vote. Our visitors will not be voting with us today, nor will Ben, Priscilla, or Dean. Although Ian has been with us for several months, he is not considered a permanent resident here, and so he will not be allowed to vote. There will be one vote per person. You will vote 'yes' if you agree to the proposal, and you will vote 'no' if you disagree. There are twenty one ballots. If you do _not_ wish to vote please write an 'X' on the ballot. All ballots will be counted in one hour, if you need time to think about your vote, or when the last vote is cast."

I smiled at the audience and stepped down. I made sure to distance myself from Wanda. I knew many people were still on edge over the 'incident' yesterday. Maria's earlier warning to Ian was proof of that. I hoped the people would see the good these buildings would bring and not dwell on Ian's explosive anger.

Burns stepped up to cast the first vote. He was followed by Blake and Carlos. The elders did not rush up to cast their votes. They held back and spoke to each other in low whispers. Jeb had been standing with Maria, but left her to come and stand with group from the caverns when the speech was over. After a half hour, each of the elders stepped forward to cast their ballots. I cast my vote last.

Now that all the votes were in, I stepped up to speak to the crowd once more. "Okay, I need someone to come up and verify each ballot as I read it. Sarah, would you do me the honor?" Sarah was tickled to death to be chosen for such an important task. She smiled brightly as she stood next to me. I unfolded the first ballot, which was mine. "Yes." I handed the ballot to Sarah, and she placed it on the podium in front of her.

Next ballot. "Yes." The 'yes's' kept coming until I opened the last ballot. I smiled in the direction of the cavern dwellers. "Well, it seems we have a unanimous vote. Congratulations Ian and Wanda. Excuse me, _Wanderer._ It looks like we all will be attending your wedding."

Ian picked Wanda up and spun her around before he put her down and planted one on her. Then, Ian rushed over to Burns. Wanda looked directly at me and mouthed the words 'thank you'. I smiled and bowed graciously.

Dinner was served shortly after the vote, and everyone was still excited about it. Several people went up to Ian and offered their services. Ian was beaming, and Wanda was as well.

After dinner, we had to say good bye to Burns, Kyle, Sunny, Jeb and Ice. Jeb had decided he had spent enough time away and was eager to get back. Maria didn't look so happy to see him go. He invited her to come and visit anytime she wanted. She told him she would think about it. He kissed her on the cheek. I made a mental note of spending more time with her over the next few days. Ice did not seem anxious to go at all. He had become very close to Ian. Besides Wanda, Ian was the only one that Ice hugged good-bye. I shook his hand and wished him well.

Burns approached me to say good-bye since he was going to take them back and spend some time with Lily.

"Nate, I won't be here to save your ass. Do you think you can refrain from pissing off Ian?"

"I'll be good. Scout's honor."

"Okay, well, I guess I'll see you soon."

"You enjoy your time with Lily."

"Thanks." He wrapped himself around me in a brief hug and then jumped into the driver's seat of the van. I watched them drive off, as did Ian and Wanda. As soon as the van was out of sight, I took off for the cave.

The following morning, I woke up late. Well, late for me. I guess my body really needed the sleep. I wanted to see Maria today, and also, it was my chess day with Uncle George. I dressed quickly, grabbed my toothbrush and headed for the house.

The house was empty with the exception of Wanda and Ian who were lounging on the couch watching TV.

"Speak of the devil," Ian hissed.

"Morning Ian…Beauti-…Wanda." I promised I wouldn't piss Ian off.

She just smiled and waved. A moment later she got up off the couch and went into the bedroom.

I immediately did an about face and headed for the bathroom. When I returned, Ian spoke up. "Wanda says she needs to go to town to check in with that nosy soul, Fluttering. That's where she went the other day when you sent Burns to retrieve her."

"I didn't send Burns anywhere. I was too busy dealing with my own issues." By issues, he knew I meant the shock of having my jaw broken.

"Well, at any rate, she wants to know if there is anything you might need while she is in town."

"Let me think on it. When is she leaving?"

"Soon, I suspect."

There wasn't much else to say between us, so I went into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. When I returned to the living room, Ian was gone, so I took his spot on the couch and focused on the TV. A minute later, Wanda appeared from the bedroom. She looked beautiful, even though she wasn't wearing any make-up.

"So, Ian tells me you're going into town. He asked me if I need you to pick up anything. Honestly, I don't know if we need anything. It's still too early. I wish I had known yesterday that you were planning this."

She gave me a blank look and went into the kitchen. _What the hell? _I had apologized the other night, and she seemed okay. Yesterday, I spoke only positive thoughts on the buildings for the wedding. What could have transpired that would make her ignore me? I barged into the kitchen. She was putting away the clean dishes that had been washed the night before.

"Are you still mad at me?"

"No." She paused and then replied, "Yes." Then a few seconds later she changed her tune. "No."

I was confused. "Well, which is it? Yes? Or no?"

Just then, Ian entered the kitchen, and it was evident that he was _not_ happy. "Nate, can I help you with something?" he said interrupting my interrogation.

"No. I was just talking to Wanda."

"About what?" Ian growled.

I had made a promise to Burns to not piss off Ian, but I hadn't done anything to warrant his wrath. I didn't back down. "Nothing in particular. I was going to see if she was planning on cooking breakfast. I thought I could help."

"She doesn't need your help," Ian hissed.

Now, he was just being an asshole.

Wanda exploded. "STOP IT!"

We both froze and looked straight at her. She threw a glass in the sink, and it shattered. Then, she bolted out of the kitchen.

"Now see what you did?" Ian growled.

"_Me_? I was just trying to be nice!" I said in a raised voice.

Ian growled and then left the room. I followed him only because my coffee was in the living room, and my intention was to grab it on my way out. I was pissed, and in my mind, if anyone deserved a broken jaw, it was him.

As I picked up my coffee, I heard him. "Wanderer, let me in." It sounded like they were in for another round of fighting because of me, and I didn't do anything except be nice. Jamie emerged from Burns's bedroom as I was heading for the door.

"Good morning!" Jamie crooned.

"For some," I answered as I pushed my way out the door. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of Ian being pissed at Wanda again. I hoped she would soon see the light.

I sought out Maria. She was in her spot above the root cellar reading her book. She didn't hear me come up behind her. I placed my hands on her shoulders, and she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Jesus, Nathan! You scared me half to death!" she scolded.

"I'm sorry. I missed you," I said as I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

"Come sit with me, Nathan."

I sat as I always did, so she could muss with my hair. Instead, she put down her book, leaned forward in her chair, and wrapped her arms around my neck from behind. She leaned her face to my ear. "You frightened me the other day. I didn't like it."

"I was pretty frightened myself," I admitted.

"I don't cry very often," she said. I remembered the tears in her eyes when she first saw me after the fray.

"I never used to cry, but lately, I feel like that's all I want to do. I've made so many foolish mistakes."

"We all make mistakes. That's what makes us human."

"But Wanda kissed me back. She's not human. Was it a mistake?"

"She may be more human than even I care to admit. Regardless of the feelings she has for you, she made a commitment to Ian."

"I know. You know that whole proposal scene was staged for my benefit."

"Well, aren't you full of yourself?" she said sarcastically.

"No, I speak the truth. They fight about me all the time. They fought on the baseball field over me."

"I heard about that."

"The funny part was I didn't do anything except play the game. She wasn't even on my team! Then this morning, I tried to be nice to her in the kitchen, and Ian barged in and started shit with me. Wanda finally screamed at him to stop it, and then fled to the bedroom. She locked him out. I swear to you, I didn't do a damned thing except ask her if she was mad at me because she wouldn't answer my questions."

"Maybe you should avoid them for a while. Burns is gone, and so is Ice. That doesn't leave many who would be willing to 'handle' Ian of he goes off again. A man who loses control the way he did is a loose cannon, and that is a problem."

"I know, but I have to think about Wanda. What if he loses control around her?"

"Nathan, she's made her choice. I'm sure she has taken that possibility into consideration. What about Gina? I thought you had feelings for her?"

She deliberately changed the subject.

"Gina…" My mind wandered to her, and the times she and I spent together. I pictured her from the first time I saw her standing naked as she exited the shower. Her body was beautiful.

"You do still have feelings for her," she surmised by my lack of response.

"Yes, I have feelings for Gina, but she has decided to go forward with the relationship with Evan."

"So, basically, you went after the wrong girl and lost them both."

I nodded. "That's it in a nutshell."

"Well, there's always Nadine."

"Nadine is too needy. Did you know that she told Kim about us?"

"I imagine keeping a secret that you love someone must be difficult. How many know of your love for Wanda?"

"Too many, I'm sure."

"There's Holly. She doesn't seem needy at all."

"It would absolutely destroy Gina if I laid a hand on Holly. She would assume that she wasn't pretty enough, and that Holly was."

She chuckled. "Sounds to me like you are going to be dating your right hand."

"I'm a lefty," I reminded her. We both burst out laughing.

Again, she wrapped her arms around my neck from behind. "I love you, Nathan."

"What are you doing tonight?" I joked.

"My plan is to soak in the Jacuzzi—alone!"

I became serious again. "You know you should consider visiting Jeb at the caverns."

"Don't be silly," she answered as she sat back in her chair.

"Come on, admit it, you like him."

"I'm too old for such foolishness."

"You're not even sixty! When I'm sixty, I'll still be trolling for pussy."

"At the rate you're going, you'll be lucky to survive until sixty."

I sat back and closed my eyes. Again the thought of death gave me the willies. A shudder went down my spine. I prayed that I would live to be very old. Maria stroked my head, and I nearly drifted off to sleep.

"I should get going. I have a date with your favorite person."

"A date?" she asked as she was clearly confused.

"Chess with Uncle George."

She smiled. "Ah! Well, have fun. Tell him I hope he loses."

I shook my head at her and walked away. I felt good about my talk with Maria. I wanted to thank her for having words with Ian, but I wasn't supposed to know. That afternoon, Uncle George and I set up a table on the playground and played chess. He was bit cranky.

"It's a nice day. What's the matter? Are you not feeling well?"

"I'm feeling fine, but I heard you nearly died two days ago."

"It was a misunderstanding, and I'm fine. The soul's drugs are truly miraculous. You should try them for your arthritis."

He grunted and set his attention back to the board. I still wasn't getting anywhere with him on his health issues.

During the game, Gina and Evan pranced out to a swing that we had rigged from a tree branch. She sat in it, and he pushed her. She was wearing make up, and she looked good. Her body was, of course, slammin' in the daisy dukes she was wearing and the tight T-shirt that accentuated her fantastic breasts.

_I need to go see Nadia, _I thought to myself.

"Your turn," Uncle George demanded snapping me out of my Gina daydream.

I ended up beating Uncle George, but he played a good game.

That night, as I lay in my bed, I had that date with my left hand.


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you to all of you who give me your words, whether they be few or whether they be detailed and opinionated. I love that you are all still with me as I explore Nate's secret life. I love writing from the point of view of a guy. You would think that Nate has it all together, and sometimes he does…but most of the time, his brain is powerless to his desires. Ya gotta love that. I do.**

RACHEL

06/02/2002 – So, yesterday was a good day because I did everything right. I could have denied Wanda and Ian their request to have the wedding on my mountain, but I didn't. I swallowed my pride and gave the vote to the people that live here. Everyone is happy for them, but more important; they are excited about having another roof to be able to gather under. Burns's house gets crowded quickly, and there is no protection from unexpected visitors. The cave offers protection, but it is cold and dank and does not offer warmth and comfort. I hope that Uncle George will be willing to move into the building they are referring to as the bunkhouse, provided Ian can put in heat as he has suggested. I will definitely help with this project in any way that I can.

Maria surprised me yesterday. She stood up to the Neanderthal, and he actually was submissive to her. I may be the king around here, but Maria is truly the Queen Mum…and I love her for that.

We also said good-bye to some of our friends from the caverns. Jeb, Kyle, and Sunny returned to their home. They took Ice with them. I like him. I think he will make a great addition to the caverns. I hope it won't be long before he can be trusted completely. Burns went along for a brief stay, so he can spend some time with Lily. She has given Burns a sparkle in his eye that I have never seen before. I can only assume that once upon a time, he was like this.

The one thing that still bothers me is the constant bickering that I have seen between Ian and Wanda. It always seems to involve me, and now it seems as though Wanda is purposely avoiding me. I wouldn't mind so much if I thought she was doing it of her own volition, but I believe that it is because Ian is forcing her to stay away. I'm not comfortable with this, and I'm certainly not happy about it. I'm just not sure how to approach them on it. I'll give it a little time to see if he softens.

I slept late. There was no reason for me to get up early. I was moody. I missed Gina. For all the shit I had given her, she was always ready to forgive. I sighed and got up. I made my way to the house. I thought a nice long hot bath might improve my mood.

When I emerged from the bathroom, I felt better. I entered the kitchen in the hopes Rachel might be around. I needed a haircut, and she was my personal hairdresser. She had been trimming my locks for years, and she knew just how I liked it. Cutting my hair was the catalyst that started our torrid and very secret affair. It was a long time ago when she and Rob first arrived on the mountain. Rachel is very pretty. She could rival Wanda in the looks department. I flirted with her, and she flirted back. One day, about six months after she got here, she was cutting my hair, and she was standing directly in front of me. She was wearing a low cut top, and her breasts were in my face. My dick was pounding out of my pants, and I kissed her cleavage. I thought she might smack me, but she didn't. She smiled, and she kept cutting my hair. We were alone in my room. I reached between her legs and rubbed her pussy and to my wondrous surprise, she spread her legs. Imagine my shock. I had expected a haircut, but I ended up with her in my bed. I hadn't had sex in months. I was very appreciative. The affair lasted almost a year. It was perfect for me because she wanted a 'no-strings attached' sexual affair, and it fit right in with my agenda. Unfortunately, he eventually guessed what was happening and took off. She freaked out and threatened to take off after him. Burns and I found him a week later in the woods. It was fall, and he was suffering from exposure. We dragged him back, and I promised him I would never touch her again. I've kept my promise.

I found Aunt Sue in the kitchen with Kim. I entered and kissed them each on the cheek. They were preparing lunch for the masses.

"Have either of you seen Rachel?"

"I think she was going to do some laundry," Kim replied. "Hey? Do you know what Wanda's having delivered tomorrow?"

"What are you talking about?" I was clueless.

"Oh, I thought she might have given you the inside scoop."

"Inside scoop on what?"

"Jamie told Megan that Wanda is having a surprise delivered here to the house tomorrow between 9AM and noon. We're supposed to stay out of sight."

"WHAT?" This was news to me. I was livid. Everything is supposed to be cleared through me, and apparently, she had taken it upon herself to do this thing, and she didn't even bother to tell me. "Where _is _Wanda?"

"I don't know, but I'll bet Ian's at the ball field," Kim replied.

I was out the door and on my way to the field in a matter of seconds. _How dare she usurp my authority!_ I was hopping mad. As I approached the back field, I could see Ian and Wanda. It looked as though they were working on the dugouts. When I got closer, I could see the two of them cuddling. I wasn't sure if the display had been put on for my benefit, but I wasn't in the mood for their public displays of affection.

"EXCUSE ME!" I shouted out as I crossed the infield. "I hate to break up your love fest, but would you mind telling me why I was not informed of this special delivery that is supposed to be coming tomorrow?"

Ian did the talking. "Yeah, sorry about that. It seems that Wanderer purchased a gift for everyone, and it needed to be delivered. I was going to tell you about it at lunch."

"Well, what is it?" I demanded.

"I don't know. She isn't talking."

I looked straight at Wanda for an answer. She just raised her hands and hunched her shoulders.

I creased my eyebrows together and directed my question at Wanda. "So, no one can go to the house all day?"

Again, it was Ian who answered. "She said it should be here between nine in the morning and noon."

I looked back at Wanda. I was frustrated that she hadn't spoken a word confirming my fears that she was under orders from Ian not to talk to me. I turned back to Ian. "Okay, I'll make sure everyone knows. Pull the shades tonight before you go to bed, and make sure Jamie stays in his room."

"Okay, we will. I might just take Jamie and head down to the cave early."

"Okay." I glanced at Wanda again. I wanted her to talk to me, but I promised myself I would give it some time. Unfortunately, my patience was wearing thin. I turned to walk away.

"Nate!" She called. I stopped dead in my tracks. I slowly turned to face her. "Thank you for being so understanding about this. I hope you'll like the gift."

The sound of her voice made me smile. "I'm sure I will if you picked it out." I waved in recognition of her broken vow. She smiled back and raised her hand to me. It was small gesture, but it spoke volumes. I turned and walked away.

It was inventory time again. I spent the rest of my afternoon in the storage room. When I finished, I headed for the house, so I could inventory the kitchen. I knew the ladies would be in there cooking, but I figured I would just flirt until they gave me the space I needed to complete the inventory.

I entered the back door, and the first thing I saw was Wanda in a bathrobe with her hair wrapped in a towel lounging on the couch. There was no sign of Ian. I figured this might be the only chance I would have to speak with her.

I sat down in the chair next to her. Since I didn't know what type of reception I would get, I kept my eyes on the floor as I spoke. "So, how are things?"

"Fine."

"You don't talk to me much anymore." I paused before adding, "Not that I blame you."

"Yeah."

One word. That was all I got out of her. I turned towards her and raised my eyes to hers. "You see, the thing is—maybe I'm wrong, but—I feel like Ian doesn't want you to talk to me."

"Gee. You're perceptive," she said sarcastically.

"I miss talking to you," I said in my most sincere voice.

"I know. I miss talking to you, too, but what am I supposed to do?" she groaned.

I sighed. "I don't know. I guess this is my fault."

"Yeah, it kinda is," she reiterated.

I reached out and touched her hand. I went for broke. I laid it all on the line. "Look, I know that you and Ian are meant to be together, and I'm sorry about what happened. I should have respected the boundaries, and I didn't. I love you. I think I have since the first time I met you. I know I can't have you in that way, but I would at least, like to be your friend. I hate to think of life without you."

"Well, I _could_ be here six months out of the year," she said in earnest.

I squeezed her hand. "What? I don't understand."

"Ian and I want to live here in the spring and summer and live in the caverns during the fall and winter. I just need you to agree to it."

We didn't hear Ian come through the back door. He stood just six feet away and witnessed our intense conversation. Unfortunately, he also saw me holding her hand.

Ian turned and walked back out the door.

"Crap!" Wanda said in a panic.

I tried to be helpful. "Do you want me to go talk to him?"

"No. I need to do this." She ran into the bedroom, returned only minutes later, and bolted out the door without another word.

I went to the kitchen and finished my inventory without too much backlash from the ladies, who were busy cooking the evening meal. Wanda's confession that she wasn't allowed to speak to me, and then Ian's obvious ire in seeing us together was weighing on me heavily. How could I agree to them living here six months out of the year if my presence was the source of their constant fighting? I grabbed a piece of paper out of the notebook we kept in the kitchen, and I sat down and answered Wanda's request the only way my conscience would allow. It read:

Dear Ian & Wanderer,

I write this letter with heavy heart because I am concerned about your relationship. I realize that I am the source of all your problems, and I wish to apologize to both of you. Wanderer has told me that you both would like to establish a permanent residence for the spring and summer months each year as husband and wife. I would like nothing more than to welcome you both with open arms. Ian would be a strong addition to our family, and Wanderer's assets are obvious. However, if my presence continues to cause such discord between you, I will need to decline your request. I cannot in good conscience promise that I can sever my friendship with Wanderer. My feelings for her run too deep. I hope and pray over the summer that we can resolve this issue. I will do my best to try not to be a source of contention. However, if you wish to speak to me, I would welcome it.

Nate.

I taped it to their bedroom door and vacated the premises. I still hadn't found Rachel, and I wanted my haircut. I finally found her sitting in Maria's chair above the root cellar. She was wearing a bikini, and she was slathered with suntan lotion. Rob was nowhere in sight. _Keep you dick in your pants. You're here to ask for a haircut._

If there was contest for best body, it would definitely be a toss up between Rachel and Gina, but throw the face in and Rachel would win, hands down. Wanda was cute and adorable to the point where you wanted to engulf her in your arms and love her. Rachel was a bombshell. Her breasts were comparable to Gina's, but her ass—shit, that ass was—va-voom! The suit she was wearing was hot pink with little gold rings holding it together on her hips and another one between those beautiful voluptuous breasts. I found myself just standing there staring at her.

"Hello handsome," Rachel chirped snapping me out of my daydream of her sitting on my dick.

"Rachel..." I was still at a loss for words.

"Do you like my new bathing suit? I picked it out of a catalog, and Burns picked it up for me the last time he went to Irving."

"Burns is a good man." I continued to stare at her.

"He is, but not as good as some," she said as she stood up, which only enhanced the view. "Is there something I can do for you?"

_Yeah, you can bend over and let me fuck the shit out of you. _You'd have thought she heard me because at that moment she turned around and bent over to pick up her lotion and can of soda she had sitting next to the chair. That was it. My dick sprouted like a beanstalk.

"No? Well, I'm going back to the cave to get ready for dinner. The sun is not so strong anymore." She walked over towards me and her hand brushed against the obvious bulge on my trousers.

I grabbed her wrist. "Where's Rob?"

"He's down at the river—fishing."

"Are you fighting?"  
>"Why would you think that?"<p>

"Gee, I don't know. It's been what?—two years since we've done the deed—and now all of a sudden, you're coming on to me?"

"Hey, you're the one who's standing there gawking with a hard-on."

"You haven't got any fucking clothes on!" I said in frustration.

"Wow! Cursing and everything. Been a while, huh?" Her lips curled into a sly smile.

"It's been a while since our perfect setup was smashed to bits."

Her eyes met mine. "You ever think about us?"  
>"I try not to think about the things I can't have."<p>

"That's too bad. I think about you. Sometimes, I miss that big bad dick." The smile returned to her face.

_Get a grip Nate. It will lead to nothing but trouble._

"I came to ask for a haircut—but if Rob's down by the river…" I stammered.

"Nate, I don't need Rob's permission to give you a haircut."

"I don't want no trouble." Lord knows I've been in enough of that lately. Rob wouldn't try to kill me, but he might be inclined to try to kill himself.

"Nate, don't be ridiculous. Come on."

I walked with Rachel back to the cave. As we neared the entrance, Gina and Evan were sitting at a picnic table playing scrabble. My eyes met hers for a brief instant, and I looked down at the ground quickly. I felt a twinge of heat rush through my cheeks. I felt guilty just for thinking about what I wanted to do to Rachel, not because she would be cheating on Rob, but because Gina would know—which was ridiculous because Gina was sleeping with Evan. Gina had no problem flaunting her relationship with Evan, but I wanted her to believe that she had been the last person in my bed. Then again, she _was_ the last person in my bed.

"I'll meet you in your room." Rachel said as she branched off towards the south end of the cave.

Rachel arrived a few minutes later toting her box with her grooming tools. She was still wearing the bikini, but she threw on a sheer button down shirt that she didn't bother to button. I had hoped she would have put on some shorts and a T-shirt, but I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I moved my lone chair into the center of the room and sat. Take off your shirt, Nate.

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to wet down your hair, and I don't want to soak your shirt," she said with an air of confidence.

I pulled the shirt over my head, and Rachel helped me to take it off.

She sighed.

I sighed, too.

She began to comb my hair.

"You let it go."

"I've been busy."

She pulled out a spray bottle and sprayed the mist on my hair. The cold air hit my shoulders, and I shivered.

"Sorry," she whispered as she used her shirt to dry my shoulder. She laid her hand gently on my shoulder.

"Rob will be home soon."

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her, so she was facing me.

"What do you want Rachel?" I gazed into her eyes trying to gauge her emotions.

"I don't want to ruin my relationship with Rob."

"I don't either."

"But…"

"But what?"

"Nothing."

She pulled my hair between her fingers and began to cut. Her breasts were in my face. _Shit. There goes my dick again. Baseball, baseball, baseball!_

I curled my fingers and ran the backs of them from just under her armpits slowly to her hips. She stopped cutting.

"He doesn't touch me the way you do."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"You always touch me like I'm some sort of goddess. The way a person would touch a first place trophy."

"With lust?"

"Yes, exactly. You know what he said when I showed him my new bikini?"

"What?"

"Not a damn thing."

I chuckled. "Maybe he's going blind."

She bent her knees, so she could bring herself to eye level as she looked to make sure what she had cut was even. I couldn't help myself. I leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips. She grabbed my face and planted her lips on mine. My hands immediately went to her breasts. I got a handful, and I caressed them using my thumbs to slide under the suit to her nipples.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Rachel pulled away quickly wiping her lips and adjusting her bra. I took a deep breath.

"Come in!" I hollered.

The door slowly opened. It was Gina.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Just getting a haircut," I replied.

"I was hoping I might borrow a book from your library."

She was here to spy on me. That much was obvious. She was fucking Evan on a regular basis, but she was jealous that I might diddle Rachel. It gave me a renewed sense of power.

"You know my library is always open to you." That's what I said, but the meaning was anytime you need a real man, I'm right here waiting.

Gina entered the room and slowly walked over to the bookshelves. She took her sweet time checking out the books. She knew what I had in my library, but she acted as if she didn't have a clue. She pulled out a book and read the back cover and then put it back and pulled another. Rachel moved behind me and continued to cut my hair. Gina spent a good ten minutes perusing the tomes before she finally chose a book.

"Do you mind if I take 'The Butcher's Wife'?"

I nodded. "No problem. That's really Nadine's book."

"Don't move your head." Rachel ordered. "You'll end up lopsided."

"We can't have that now, can we?" I smiled at her as she clipped the hair just below my ear.

"I'll return it as soon as I'm done with it." Gina said as she dragged her feet towards the door.

I tried not to move my head. "Sounds good. Have a pleasant night." I responded.

"I'll see you at dinner?" she asked.

"Sure."

The door closed quietly behind her.

I raised my finger to my lips to let Rachel know to be quiet. I got up and slowly walked to the door and opened it to make sure she wasn't lingering on the other side. She wasn't. As soon as I closed the door, Rachel spoke.

"What was that all about?"

"I don't know." I lied.

"You and she got something going on?" she asked.

I made a face at her. "No." I put the blame back in her direction by adding, "Maybe Rob has her spying on you."

"No way—Ya think?"

"I suppose anything's possible." As much as I wanted Rachel, I couldn't bring myself to cheat on Gina. As sick as it sounded in my head, that was the guilt that guided me. I knew in order to prove that I was not involved with Gina; I would have to continue to hit on Rachel. I sat down and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Now where were we?"

I knew Rachel had been mulling over the possibility that Rob was having her watched. She pulled my hands off her ass. "Um—maybe we shouldn't do this."

"Your call." I said nonchalantly.

"Believe me. It's not that I don't want to, but…"

"I hear you. You don't want to get caught."

Rachel didn't say anything more. She completed my haircut, and I thanked her. I was both disappointed and relieved.

I threw on my shirt and headed to the house to help with the transport of food to the picnic tables outside the cave. I took my seat at the table, and Gina plopped down beside me.

"Nice haircut."

"Thanks."

"So—you mind if I sit here?"

"Not at all. It's a free country."

"Maybe it was, once upon a time, but now it's only free if you're a soul."

"You speak the truth, my dear."

She leaned in and spoke low. "What's going on with you and Rachel?"

"She cuts my hair. What's it to you?"

Megan, Jamie, and Sarah came bouncing over and sat at the table with us.

"Where's your boyfriend?' I asked casually.

"He's with Rob."

My head snapped around.

"Pot Roast!" Jamie blurted out. "I haven't had this in years."

"Dig in. There's plenty." I said with a smile.

The three teens continued to chatter to each other about the food. I leaned in to Gina. "You're not starting trouble, are you?"

"No!" she said defensively. "Rob showed up with some fish, and Evan went with him around back to clean them."

I drew in a deep sigh. I looked around. Rachel was sitting with Maria at her table. She didn't seem distressed at all. Halfway through dinner, Evan and Rob joined us. Rob was excited to tell us of his day. He caught several fish, and of course, there was the one that got away. I, personally, wasn't much of a fisherman. I would sometimes accompany Burns, but for me, it was all about the company and not the fish.

I decided to help with the dishes so I could be present in case any gossip was going around. Things seemed normal. That evening, I breathed a sigh of relief as I settled into my bed.


	20. Chapter 20

**It's been a really slow weekend on the fan fic site. I'm hoping everyone is busy shopping for school. At any rate, I hope to hear from you.-NL**

SURPRISES

06/03/2002- I have come to the conclusion that if something doesn't happen soon, that I am going to have to take a trip to see Nadia. Wanda and Ian seem to be happy in their relationship as long as I am a non entity—which sucks. Gina is deep in a relationship with Evan, but she still keeps an eagle eye on me—which sucks. Rachel is looking hot as ever and seems to be feeling neglected by her man, causing her to look at me—which wouldn't suck if it wasn't for Gina.

Hell, I'm thinking of jumping on Nadine. At least she's single. There's not a damn thing anyone can say about that. The thing is I was perfectly happy pleasuring myself until Gina reminded me of how nice it was to smell a woman, to touch a woman, to be inside a woman. Damn Gina!

Today is the day of the big surprise. I just hope it's something good. If not, it's time for a road trip.

I was up early because I wanted to stand watch to make sure no one unwittingly approached the house. Ian and Jamie came sauntering down the path a little after 8:30, according to my watch. Ian held up, but Jamie continued towards the cave.

"You gonna hang out here 'til it comes?" Ian asked.

"That's the plan."

"Mind if I hang with you?"

I was surprised, to say the least. I wasn't sure if he was excited about the surprise, or if he didn't want me to be alone with Wanda, considering I would be the first one to the house if I continued to keep a watch on things.

"No problem—as long as you keep your fists to yourself."

"I'm good," he replied.

"Hmm." I paused for a minute. "Wanda make you promise not to pummel me in exchange for not talking to me?"

"Look, I have a problem with jealousy."

"Ya think?"

"I'm trying to get a handle on it."

I drew in a deep sigh and shot him a look. After that, we sat quietly. The first hour dragged by. Maria eventually trudged on out to where we were sitting and handed us each a PB & J sandwich along with a couple of juice boxes.

"Thank you, Maria." Ian said politely.

My lips curled into a half smile. "Thanks, Mom."

"You boys are getting along, right?"

"Yes, ma'am," Ian said adamantly.

"Good." Maria stroked her fingers through my hair quickly and then retreated in the direction she had come in.

Ian looked at me. "She's not really your mother, right?"

"Right. She watches out for me, though."

"Yeah, I kinda got that. What happened to your mom?"

I sighed. I hated thinking about losing my mother. "She passed away—pneumonia—the winter before we met Burns. She couldn't handle the cold winter, and the cave didn't offer any warmth for her."

"Sorry, man." Ian patted me on the back.

"What about your parents?" I asked.

"They were both implanted. Kyle and I checked them out before we went on the run."

I nodded my head in understanding.

"I think about them sometimes, you know? I wonder if they are trapped somewhere inside like Melanie was, waiting for us to return, or if they just gave up and let the soul take them. I mean—the fact that we've never been found…"

"Yeah." I said barely above a whisper. I couldn't help but think about my mother. She was the most important person in my life. She was my support system. A lump rose in the back of my throat.

Suddenly, a truck backed into the driveway. I couldn't see where the delivery was coming from since the truck backed up directly at us. The back panel of the truck finally came into view, and it said 'Dick's Sporting Goods'.

"What do you think it is?" I asked.

"I don't know. She wouldn't give me any clue, and believe me; I tried to get it out of her."

"Maybe it's a pinball machine or a video game."

"Maybe."

Two men got out and opened the back of the truck.

They pulled out several boxes and laid them outside the truck before emerging with a huge box on a dolly. They were obviously struggling to get it up the stairs and into the house.

Ian and I just looked at each other.

"A Gym?" Ian surmised.

"Ya got me!"

They came back out and returned all the other boxes they had removed to get to this monstrous box. They took two more boxes out. One was long, and the other was small. They returned to the house and remained there for about fifteen minutes. They emerged with the empty box torn into shreds and threw it into the back of the truck. They pulled the rope on the back door until it came tumbling down with a bang. Wanda had come outside and she thanked them before they climbed into the truck and took off. She went back inside.

"Let's go!" I hollered, as I sprang from my perch in the woods. Ian and I took off running for the house. As we approached the house, Wanda pulled the shades up. Ian reached the back steps before I did and took them two at a time with me fast on his heels. We charged through the back door and stopped short when we saw the gift.

"You bought us a POOL TABLE!" Ian stammered.

"This is awesome!" I howled.

"You know how to play?" Ian asked me.

"I've played a little in my time," I grinned, as I spoke the words. What Ian didn't know was as a kid I spent a ton of time in a pool hall, and I was schooled by some of the best, 'Rack'em Ron', 'Hard Eight', and 'Trickshot Tony', who eventually teamed with me to clean up at the bars in the college. Trickshot was also the one who gave me my nickname, 'Sharky'. I was young and the college kids always thought I was an easy mark. We made a fortune. I was able to live and dress in style through my high school and college years until the takeover.

"Care to test your skills?" Ian teased.

"You're on!" I countered.

Ian crossed to Wanda and hugged her. "This is a wonderful gift."

I asked Ian if I could borrow Wanda for just a minute. I wanted to let her in on the secret. Ian was setting up the rack. I spoke through my teeth trying not to let Ian catch what I was saying. "Did I tell you I was a pool hustler in high school?"

"No. You didn't." She smiled at me.

"You want to break?" Ian asked.

"If you insist."

"By all means, I insist," Ian said confidently.

I picked out a cue stick and chalked it up. I leaned into the table and lined up my shot. SNAP! The cue ball slammed into the triangular group of balls, and the impact sent balls flying in all directions. Three balls went into the pockets—two solids and a stripe. I immediately spotted a solid that was a chip shot into the side pocket. I pointed with my stick to the pocket I was aiming for. A moment later, the ball slid into the pocket. My next choice was a shot in the corner pocket. I needed to hit the ball just to the right in order to have it angle towards the pocket. I took a deep breath and tapped the cue ball. It rolled the length of the table and hit in the exact spot I needed it to, and the ball slowly rolled in the direction of the corner pocket. It went in easily. With four solids off the table, I wasn't left with much of a shot, so I buried the cue ball in a place that would give Ian little to no chance of sinking a stripe.

"You've played this before," Ian grumbled.

I smiled at Wanda.

Ian tried to make a shot that he wasn't capable of and left me with a perfect set up. I sank two more balls before I slid the cue ball in behind two balls leaving him without a shot…again.

"What the hell!" Ian groaned.

The others slowly entered the house in small groups. Each time, the newcomers would express their approval of the gift. Everyone wanted to play.

It took two more turns to beat Ian. He didn't take it well. "Best two out of three." Ian growled.

I was definitely up for the challenge. "You're on!" I could have played all day and all night.

Wanda had to intervene since there were many others waiting their turn to play.

"Now boys, you played your game. You need to share your toys. Everyone else is waiting a turn."

We sulked away towards the couch.

Ian plopped on the couch and shot a look at me. "What are you some kind of hustler?"

"They used to call me 'Sharky' when I was a kid. I made a ton of money at the pool hall."

"Well, I'll be damned."

Wanda interrupted our little tête de tête. "Ian, did you make that list?"

"Oh—no. I was pitching to Nate down at the field." That was big fat lie. Ian shot me a warning glance.

"Well, maybe Nate can help you get that list together."

"Yes, Mom." He smiled.

"Don't push it!" Wanda scolded.

Ian and I headed into the kitchen to discuss the original plans that had been drawn up by Burns and Ian a few nights ago. Wanda set out a sign up sheet for the pool table, so everyone would get their chance. I put me and Ian's name on the list as soon as Wanda left the house to do laundry. Our names were far down on the list, and I knew it would be a while before our turns were up. After we finished the list for the supplies for the new building, Ian opted to take a shower. I opted to track down Wanda to thank her for the gift.

I headed for the root cellar where I knew Wanda was doing laundry. I heard the music before I got to the door, and the memory of our 'almost' first kiss flooded my brain. I entered, and she was sitting quietly humming to the song. She looked like she was deep in thought.

"So, Beautiful, you did a really good thing. I want to thank you." I raked my fingers through my newly shorn hair pulling it straight back off of my face.

"I want to thank you for getting along with Ian."

I couldn't help but think about my encounter with Rachel. Rachel was the bombshell, but Wanda was so delicate, almost fragile. Funny thing was she had really come full circle. Inside she was strong, probably stronger than anyone I knew, including Gina—and beautiful. I was struggling to keep from pulling her into my arms. I remained at arms length to be safe.

"Hey. He came to me. I don't know if it's all fake, or if he really wants to be my friend, but he _is_ trying," I explained.

"Well, either way, I'm glad because now we can be friends again." Wanda closed the Gap between us. She reached out, caught a stray lock of hair, and brushed it back in its place. She smiled at me. The song we had danced to months ago began to play. This was dangerous. I was not going to put myself into a position to have my arms and legs broken.

"I'm just gonna go." I held my hand to my ear like a phone. "Call me when you and Ian are ready to go to Irving."

"Okay, I will."

After dinner, Ian and I were having a rematch at the pool table. I was once again beating Ian. I decided to try a shot I hadn't practiced in years. It was a difficult shot. I banked the ball off the sidewall and hit a solid that ricocheted off another sending it into the pocket. As I as straightened up, I couldn't be sure, but I'd swear Wanda was checking out my ass.

"What the hell! You rot!" Ian blurted out.

I leaned on my pool stick. "Hmmm. I didn't think I could pull it off."

"You suck, you know that?" Ian fired back.

"I think you're awesome," Wanda cooed.

"Great, _now_ you think I'm awesome," I joked as I stared at her trying to figure her out. Our eyes made direct contact, and she quickly looked away. Again, I'd swear she was blushing. _What the hell? _It seemed almost as though she was flirting with me.

We continued our game, and I beat Ian in record time. We gave the table up to Rachel and Rob, who were waiting their turn. I put my pool stick back in the holder where Rachel was standing. She reached out while Rob was busy retrieving the balls from under the table, and she brushed her palm across the front of my pants. _Damn! What is it, a full moon tonight?_

"We're all packed and ready to go," Wanda announced.

I walked them to the van. "Call me tomorrow when you're on your way back, and I will make sure I have the manpower needed to unload everything."

"Thanks, Nate," Ian replied.

"Drive safe. Wanda, try not to bring home any guests."

"Ha ha!" she said sarcastically.

I slapped the side of the van twice, and they pulled away into the darkness.

I headed back into the house. Rachel was kicking Rob's ass at the pool table.

"You're pretty good," I commented.

"I hear you're not so bad yourself."

I got the feeling that she wasn't talking about my pool skills. "I could teach you a few tricks if you're up for it."

She looked up at me. "You'd have to beat me first."

"I'm always up for a challenge."

I walked over and put my name, along with Rachel's, on the list.

"I put our names on the list. I'm going to go and check on Jamie. I should be back before our names come up."

"Babysitting?" Rachel teased.

"He's not a baby. That's the problem. Don't you remember what it was like when you were a teenager?"

Rob couldn't keep the smile from his face.

"Rob!" Rachel elbowed him.

"She's pissed because I persuaded her to do the deed when she was fifteen."

"I was almost sixteen, thank you!"

I didn't want to get into a discussion with Rob that involved sex. If Rob was the only man that Rachel had sex with before coming to the mountain, then I was the only other man who had been inside her, and I knew that was a sore subject for him.

"Later guys."

I jogged to the cave and found Jamie and Megan in her room—alone.

"Come on, guys. Not on my watch."

"Nate! Wanda always lets me stay out until eleven!" Jamie said in his defense.

"I don't care. You are with a young lady, and you need to respect her. She'll miss you more if you leave her wishing you had stayed."

"O-kay," he said in defeat.

"You have three minutes." I stepped outside the room and folded my arms across my chest. I heard laughing coming from the south hall. It was Evan walking Gina back to her room. Gina pulled up when she saw me.

"Nate! What are you doing here?"

"I came to retrieve Jamie. It seems he is my ward for the next few days until Wanda and Ian get back."

"Oh."

Jamie came around the corner at that moment.

"See you in the morning."

"Bye," Gina said meekly.

It was weird. It almost sounded like she didn't want me to go.

We stopped at my room, so I could get my toothbrush, my journal, and a spare set of clothes. I would sleep at the house tonight since that was where Jamie was staying.

We passed Rob as we headed back to the house.

"Where you goin' Rob?"

"I'm tired. I've been in the sun all day."

"Rachel didn't go with you?"

"No. She said she wants to show you who's boss."

"Huh."

I entered the house, and Rachel was watching Carl and Tom play.

"I'm going to bed," Jamie announced.

"Good night," I replied.

I sat on the couch and watched the end of a movie I had seen many times.  
>Tom beat Carl. "I'm done," Tom announced. "She's all yours. I'm going to bed."<p>

Carl and Tom said their good nights and left the house.

"So, I guess it's just you and me," Rachel said meekly.

"I guess so."

Our eyes met.

"I've been thinking about you all night," she said in a sweet voice.

"Have you now?"

Lord knows I wanted her, but I had made a promise to Rob.

"What do you say we make this game interesting?" she proposed.

"Interesting, how?"

"Each time I sink a ball, you take off a piece of clothing, and each time you sink a ball, I'll take off a piece of clothing."

"You want to play strip pool?"

"You're not afraid of losing, are you?"

"Not at all. I'm afraid of getting caught and turning your boyfriend into a basket case."

"I fed him a few beers. He's sleeping like a rock right now. I guarantee it."

I walked over to the windows and pulled the shades. Then I locked the back door.

"What about the balls sunk during the break?"

"Only the ones you call count—either stripes or solids."

"Ladies first," I said gesturing for her to break.

Rachel broke the pack. Only one ball went in, and it was a solid. I took off my shoe.

"I was really hoping you'd take off your shirt," she said with a smirk.

"According to you, I'm going to lose, so eventually it's all coming off anyway."

She grinned, and her eyes were evil.

The problem was, when she broke the pack, it wasn't enough to separate all the balls, so there were several groups of balls on the table. There was no clear shot. She aimed at a pack of three hoping that out of the two solids in the pack, one might find its way into the pocket. It didn't.

"Shit!"

I smiled at her.

The first ball was easy. She had set it up when she broke the pack of three. Rachel took off her shirt. She was wearing a black silk push up bra. I was distracted.

I turned back to the table. Okay, there was no clear shot. What the hell, I might as well break up the mess. After all, this game was leading to one thing anyway. This was foreplay. I slapped the cue ball into the pack, and I sunk one of hers.

"Ha! You have to take off something," she ordered.

"No, I don't. You didn't sink it. I did."

"Don't be such a baby. Take off your damn shoe," she barked.

"Fine!" I took off my shoe and tossed it in the corner with the other.

It was Rachel's turn, and she sunk another in the corner pocket. I took off my shirt.

"Now, we're getting somewhere," she trilled.

She missed her next shot and left me with what I considered to be a perfect set up.

Boom! Number 10 is the right corner. Sneaker came off. Boom! Number 14, same pocket. Other sneaker comes off. Boom! Number 9 in the left side pocket. Sock comes off. Now, I had a dilemma. The shot I was setting up might sink her solid instead of my stripe. It was best to put the cue ball in a position that would do her no good. My dick was twitching. I wanted to win. I wanted her out of those shorts. I buried the cue ball.

"Are you serious?" she bellowed.

"Shhhh!" Jamie is trying to sleep.

Rachel made what I would have to consider a valiant effort, but alas, the ball didn't quite make it to the corner.

"Damn! She said quietly.

I knew I had her now. I sunk the next ball easily. The other sock came off. The next shot was going to be tricky. I was too horny to pass on a shot now. I bent over to set up the shot, and I could see Rachel on the other side of the pool table adjusting her bra. It was very distracting.

"Do you mind?"

"What?" she said innocently.

"Stand behind me," I ordered.

"You can't tell me where to stand!" she countered.

"Fine, I'm going to bed. Good night."

She stomped her foot. "Fine, I'll stand behind you."

I made the difficult shot.

I turned to her. "What'll it be? The shorts?—or the bra?"

"The shorts," She hissed.

I stepped forward, grabbed her by the belt loop, and pulled her to me. "Last chance to back out," I said barely above a whisper, as I unsnapped the top of her shorts.

"I'm still going to win," she professed.

I brushed my lips across the nape of her neck as I unzipped the zipper and slid the shorts off of her hips. The shorts fell to the floor. I let my hands cruise her body and rest on her voluptuous ass. "Still my turn."

I turned and lined up a shot. I bent over, and just as my arm went into motion, I suddenly felt a cue stick between my legs. It caused me to jump, and my shot went wild knocking of all things, the 8-ball into the pocket.

"You sunk the 8-ball. You lose!" Rachel cried out. "You have to take all of your clothes off!"

I was pissed. "You cheated!"

Rachel cozied up to me and splayed her hands on my chest. "Do you not want me to cheat?"

We both knew she wasn't talking about the game anymore.

I placed my hands on her face. "What do you want Rachel, really?"

Her eyes were on my lips. "I want to feel sexy again."

She leaned in and our lips met. It was like an explosion. In the fury of our lips, I turned her with her back to the pool table and pushed her backwards, lifting her up and on top. She used her arms to force the balls that were left towards the pockets while I stripped off my pants and my boxers.

"Shit, I forgot how big you are."

"Are you still on birth control?"

"Of course."

"Let's make this memorable."

I climbed over the top of her and removed her bra. I allowed my hands to travel all over her body as I sucked on her breasts. The memory of days gone by came flooding back. She was phenomenal in bed, and she reminded me of how good she was when she blubbered, "Turn around so I can taste you."

The failed contest took on a new meaning as we each set forth trying to please each other. She was good, but I was focused. I didn't give up until she squirmed and lost her concentration. I turned back to her face and couldn't keep the corners of my mouth from turning into a smile.

"You see? I still beat you." I said triumphantly.

Without skipping a beat, she replied, "I don't think so. You still have two balls on the table."

I busted out laughing. It took a moment to regain my composure.

"God, I missed you."

I took her then, and we christened the pool table in the best way possible. I did everything I could to prolong the fantasy since I knew—this may be the closure we never had. It felt great to have sex without a condom. My release was forceful, and I kissed her face, her eyes, her lips. I never once thought about Wanda or Gina, and that was a good thing.

She smiled. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," I replied. "Would you like me to walk you back to the cave?"

"It's really late. I think I'll just sleep on the couch if that's all right."

"What about Rob? You know when he wakes up and finds you never came home, he's going to freak."

"He knew we were going to play pool. Besides, everyone will see that I slept on the couch."

"Tell you what. You sleep in the bedroom, and I'll sleep on the couch."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a gentleman, that's why."

"Gentleman—Ha! You're a fucking stallion."

I kissed her again. "Now go to bed before I go for round two."

We slid off the pool table, and Rachel headed for the bathroom. I headed for the bedroom to get a pillow and a blanket. Rachel entered the bedroom wearing her bra and panties.

I wrapped my arms around her. "I want you to know that you are incredibly sexy."

"Will we do this again?"

"I don't know. Let's play it by ear. Okay?"

"Okay."

One last kiss and I had to force myself to pull away.


	21. Chapter 21

**So, much love to those of you who are still reading my stuff. I'm going off to the land of chocolate for the week, so I will be posting Sunday's chapter on Saturday. Thursday's chapter will be late or early Friday morning.**

A WORKING RELATIONSHIP

06/04/2002 – I'm pretty sure I've lost my mind. Tonight, I broke a promise because I listened to the wrong head. The sad thing is I enjoyed it, and I'm afraid that if given the chance, I'd do it again. At least, I'm not pining over Wanda and Gina. Instead, I'm plotting when I can do the deed with Rachel again. She's like a fucking goddess. The year I spent sneaking around with her made living on this mountain bearable after my mother died. She made no demands, never asked me for more than I could give, and she absolutely didn't want anyone to know. She could be the one to help me forget Wanda.

Speaking of Wanda, her gift was awesome. She bought a pool table. Beating the Neanderthal was one of the highlights of my day, second only to playing strip pool as foreplay to my night of debauchery.

Rachel is tucked away in the spare bedroom that Wanda and Ian have claimed for the time being. I have half a mind to go in there and stick it to her again.

I heard the back door slam.

"Nate! Where is she?"

I popped my head up from my pillow as Rob approached me. He looked crazed. "What?" I said yawning.

"Where's Rachel?"

"Oh…she's in the bedroom. It was late when we finished playing pool, so I told her she could sleep in Ian and Wanda's room since they are gone."

He headed for Burns's room.

"Hey!" I barked. "Jamie's in there. She's in the other bedroom. Come here. I want to talk to you."

He turned and stared at me. "Did you sleep with her?"

_Uh oh. _"No, but we did talk." I had to veer the topic away from me and onto him.

"About what?"

"She's upset with you."

"Why would she be upset with me?"

"She said she got a new bikini. She said when she put it on, she was hoping to get a rise out of you, and she didn't. She said you didn't say a damn thing about it. She thinks you don't find her sexy."

"That's ridiculous."

I shrugged my shoulders as I sat up. "That's what she said."

"I was on my way out to go fishing. What? Was I supposed to drop everything and jump on her?"

_I would have. _"Are you bored with her, man?"

"No!"

"Then, maybe you should do something special for her."

"Like what?"

_Jesus! Do I have to spell it out for you? _"I don't know. Why don't you set up a picnic in the woods? Pick a bouquet of wildflowers. Romance her."

"You're crazy."

"You know what I think?"

"What do you think?" he said sitting on the chair across from the couch.

"I think you have become complacent because, in your eyes, there aren't any guys on the mountain that measure up to you."

"What are you saying?"

I stared at him hard. "What do you think I'm saying?"

"Oh, no. You stay away from her!" He jumped off the couch.

"Just make her happy."

_Either I'm feeling really guilty, or I'm a fucking idiot…probably a little of both._

I rolled off the couch, grabbed my jeans off the coffee table, and headed for the bathroom. Rob took off for the bedroom. I took a nice, long, hot shower.

I didn't see Rob or Rachel for the rest of the morning. Maybe he took my advice, and he was 'romancing' her.

Ian and Wanda returned to the mountain in the early afternoon with a truck full of supplies. Almost every male member of the family helped to unload the truck. The wood was tough enough. The bags of concrete were the killer. I think everyone slept like a rock and woke up with sore muscles the next morning.

The next hurdle was to clear the land and lay the foundations for the buildings. It took a lot of brute strength. It was the one time I had to admit having the Neanderthal was a good thing. Ian possessed the strength of two men. We spent the next two weeks using the truck and a chain to pull stumps out of the ground and digging a trench one foot deep for the purpose of eventually pouring the concrete. We would need a backhoe when it was time to dig the hole for the septic tank. We would have to wait for Burns to return, so he could rent one. In the meantime, we concentrated on the foundation. I could only assume that every man working towards this goal was probably too tired to have sexual relations with his woman, which was a plus for me, since technically, I didn't have a woman.

The pool table became a place of instant memory for me. Most nights, Rachel and I played against each other, and we shot each other knowing glances, but we were very careful not to expose our secret.

Gina and Evan remained close. Most nights, they turned in early—in the same room. Evan was one of the crew. He showed every day, on time, ready to work.

It had been two weeks, since we had begun our crusade. No one worked harder than Ian. We had just pulled a large stump from the ground when Ian's foot got caught under it, and it dragged across his foot and ankle.

"God Dammit!" he exploded.

"Hey, you all right, man?"

"No! I'm not all right!"

"I'll get the 'No Pain'"

"DAMMIT! It's not my foot." He stood hands on hips staring at the ground. "Wanderer's leaving."

I stopped dead in my tracks.

"What?"

"Wanderer's going back to the caverns."

"Why? Did you two have a fight?"

"No," he said still blindly staring at the ground as he kicked the stump. "She's bored, and she misses her friends."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. We had a ton of work to do and without Ian, it would be slow going.

"Are you going with her?"

"I can't—not if I want to get the buildings done in time for the wedding."

"How long is she going for?"

"She didn't say. She only said she could come back anytime she wants. There's no set time."

"She'll be back in a week. You'll see."

"You need to call Burns. Get him back here. We are going to need that backhoe real soon."

"Okay. He's supposed to call tonight. When is she leaving?"

"Soon. I need a favor."

"Sure, what can I do for you?"

"Would you let me and Wanderer have the house to ourselves tonight?"

"Absolutely."

"There's something else."

"What?"

"I'm hoping that tonight, I can convince her to stay. I want to make it really special."

"You want me to sleep with her? I'm pretty special." I couldn't help but flash him a huge smile."

His ire immediately surfaced. "No, I don't want you to sleep with her!"

"Chill, Conan! I was kidding!"

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Conan?"

"What did you want?"

"I wanted you to serve us breakfast—in bed."

"You do remember that I have a thing for her, right?"

He looked up at me with anguish in his eyes.

"I can't let her go back to Kyle."

"Ian, he has a girlfriend."

"I've seen the way he looks at her. I can't say anything to her. She'll think I'm being stupid."

"Gee, she doesn't let anything get past her, does she?"

"Come on, man."

"Fine! I'll do it, but you owe me!"

"Thank you."

That afternoon, I took a bathroom break with the ulterior motive of stopping in to see Wanda. She was vegetating on the couch watching a soap opera when I entered through the back door. I sat next to her on the couch. She got up immediately and went to the kitchen. I was worried that she didn't want to talk to me when she returned with a bottle of flavored water. She handed it to me.

"Thanks." I opened the bottle and took a long pull. It cooled my parched throat. "What's this I hear that you are going back to the caverns?"

"Yes. I can't stay here. There's nothing for me to do. Ian is working himself into a coma every day."

"Well, I could come visit you if that's all you need." I joked and shot her an evil smile.

"Very funny."

I reeled in my smile. "I wish you wouldn't go."

"I know. It's not forever. I'll be back before you know it."

"Well, Ian wants to have you to himself tonight. Do you mind if Jamie sleeps with me in my room? I'll grab one of the mattresses from the main cave, and I'll sleep on the floor."

"That would be great. I would love to spend some time alone with Ian before I leave."

"I think he's hoping he will be able to change your mind."

"Well, I'm just hoping to leave him with an awesome memory."

"Damn girl. You're gonna make me cry."

"Stop it, Nate!" She smacked me on the shoulder.

"Seriously, have fun." I kissed her on the cheek and left.

I felt bad for Ian. He and Wanda had been very close these last few weeks. I was alone, but I was too exhausted to care right now.

Ian canceled baseball practice. I let everyone know that the house was off limits. The party moved to the root cellar. I stayed only until Burns called. He said he was going to come home anyway, so it was good timing. After the call, I retired to my room and settled down to read my book. I was about twenty minutes away from crashing when there was a light knock on my door.

"Come in."

The door slowly opened, and Gina stepped inside. "Hi," she said meekly.

"Hey, angel." I closed my book.

She had a book in her hand. "I finished To Kill a Mockingbird. You said you wanted you to read it." She remained fixed at the door.

"Come, sit with me."

"Evan's waiting for me," she said cautiously.

"We haven't talked in a long time." I tapped the bed gently.

Gina slowly approached me and carefully climbed on the bed keeping distance between us.

"How are things with you and Evan?"

"Good," she said quietly.

She stared at the bed. I hooked my finger under her chin and pulled her to face me. "I'm not going to bite, you know."

"I know." She still didn't want to look directly at me.

"Hey, he didn't tell you not to talk to me, did he?"

"No." She didn't sound very convincing. Hearing her lie upset me.

"Go. He's probably timing you," I said sarcastically.

"Nate, he's jealous of you."

"Why? What did you tell him about us?"

"Nothing! I swear!"

"Then why would he be jealous?"

"He said he sees me watching you. He said I have a thing for you."

I couldn't hold back the smile. "You watch me?"

"Sometimes…" she looked coyly at me. "Okay, it's more like a lot."

"I still think about you, too." I bumped her with my shoulder.

She smiled.

I kissed her gently on the lips. "Thanks for the book, angel."

She swung around and hugged me tightly for a long minute before she slid off the bed. At the door, she turned. "Bye."

I drew in a deep breath as the door closed behind her.

I laid the book on the nightstand and was about to undress when I remembered that I was in charge of Jaime. _Shit. _I would have to go look for him, or he'd probably stay up all night in Megan's room. Not on my watch.

Sure enough, I found him making out with Megan on her bed. Sarah was either asleep or pretending to be. I cleared my throat loudly.

Jamie looked up at me. "Nate! I was just saying good night."

"Uh huh." I stood with my arms folded across my chest.

Jamie did a push up off the mattress. He strutted towards the door and turned to Megan. "See you in the morning, babe."

"Babe? Seriously?" I shook my head in disbelief. "Come on, we need to get you a mattress out of the main cave."

I woke early. Serving breakfast included preparing breakfast. I could have asked Maria to do it, but she would have given me a lecture about helping the man who tried to kill me. Truth was Ian and I had gotten along pretty well these last few weeks. Wanda and I were talking again, but like Gina, she was careful not to spend too much time with me. She didn't want to upset the delicate balance that allowed me and Ian to forge our tenuous friendship.

I entered the house and I was surprised to find bits of clothing tossed about the living room. The first thing I noticed was the blanket draped over the pool table. I guess I wasn't the only one to christen the pool table. I found a pair of stockings thrown willie nillie and a corset. My dick perked up at the thought of Wanda in the outfit. Then, I saw the heels. That was it. I was sporting a full blown hard-on. _Shit. Bathroom, now. _Ten minutes later, I left the bathroom with Wanda's string bikini panties still clutched in my hand.

I was relaxed now. Time to turn my attention to the task at hand—breakfast. I figured the best thing to make was bacon and eggs. No one would turn down bacon and eggs. And coffee. They would definitely need coffee. I found grapes, watermelon, and cantaloupe. Add toast and orange juice, and voila! Breakfast.

I placed everything on the tray. I had folded the stray clothes and blanket and laid the tray on top. I slung the bathrobe over the crook of my arm and sauntered down the hall to the bedroom door. I knocked lightly.

"Who is it?" Ian called out.

"Room service."

After a minute, Wanda opened the door. She was wearing an identical robe to the one I carried.

"Good morning," I said as I walked to the dresser and put the tray down. I raised my finger and rushed back out of the room to grab the spike heels that I had placed just outside the door.

I raised the heels to Ian. "_You_ are a lucky man."

Ian smiled. "You have no idea."

I tapped my finger to my temple. "I have a great imagination."

Ian replied. "Seriously, you have _no_ idea."

Wanda nudged Ian and looked at him as if to convey the message of 'shut up' without saying it.

I went about my business, separating the two trays and rearranging the plates, so each tray was the same. Wanda was sitting next to Ian, who was still lounging on his back in the bed. I turned to Wanda. "We have coffee, orange juice, bacon, eggs over easy, toast, and a little fresh fruit."

"Thank you, Nate. This is wonderful!"

"Yeah, Ian promised me one last kiss before you marry him."

"Like hell I did!" Ian snapped.

"Joking! Sit up there, big fella, so I can give you your breakfast."

Ian sat up and his shoulders, chest, and stomach were covered in bruises from what looked to be bite marks.

My eyes just about bugged out of my head. "Holy crap! She did that to you?"

"I told you. Wanderer is definitely no child anymore." Ian was bragging.

"Hey! You started it." Wanda said in her defense.

_Damn, if it's biting she wants I've got something for her to bite right here. Fuck! Focus, Nate. _I shook my head in an effort to regain my composure. "I'll run a bath for you and then be on my way. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day."

Ian reached out to slap my hand. It wasn't a high five, and it wasn't a handshake. The meaning was more like a friendly pat on the back. "Thanks, man. I owe you."

I avoided them for the rest of the day, but Ian caught up to me at the ball field. I came in to watch practice, and he encouraged me to join them. I thought it odd since he never asked me to join them before. _What the hell, couldn't hurt, right?_

Ian seemed on edge. Wanda was barely holding it together. She berated herself if she made a bad throw, and she'd send herself to run. The third time it happened, I ran with her.

"So, I gather from Ian's mood that you haven't changed your mind." I said as I kept stride with her.

"I can't. It's not that I want to leave him—or you," she said flashing a quick smile my way, "But I have a lot to do for this wedding, too. All my bridesmaids are back at the caverns, and Sunny can go with me on the road trips. I told Ian I'd come back in a month."

I stopped dead in my tracks. "A month!"

She realized that I wasn't running and stopped. She turned to me. "Nate, don't you start on me, too. It's four lousy weeks!"

I drew in a deep breath and blew it out. _Shit. Cover your tracks, boy._ "Four weeks of Ian without you could be gruesome."

"The two of you have been getting along so well together."

"That's because we are both working for the same cause. He wants those houses built for the wedding, and I want them built for all the right reasons."

"You're not working towards the wedding?"

I raised my eyebrow to her. "Let's run before Ian has a cow."

The following morning, we all gathered to say good-bye to Wanderer and Jamie. She had wanted to leave during the daylight hours, so she could stop in and see Fluttering in the Wind. Fluttering was a nosy soul. If she knew that 'Ashley' was leaving, she wouldn't have a reason to come snooping around. I waited patiently for her to give me a hug good-bye. She had been giving Ian scads of attention in an effort to reassure him that the time would pass quickly, and she would be back in his arms before he knew it. When she turned her attention to me, I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly. I buried my face in her hair.

"I'll miss you," she whispered.

"Not as much as I'll miss you."

I didn't want to let go. I could feel Ian's presence behind me. She finally pulled back.

"You two be good. No fighting."

"You don't have to worry about me. My best shot at beating him is on the pool table," I said with a sad smile.

Her body hiccupped. The tears were pooling in her eyes. "Oh Nate!" she croaked as she stroked my face. I pulled her hand from my cheek and kissed her palm. Her eyes left mine, and she rushed into Ian's arms. She was bawling. It took Ian several minutes to get her back in control. After she drove away, Ian and I both silently turned and walked towards the new buildings. It was time to pour the concrete foundation on the second building. Again, this was a chore that required lots of brute strength and speed. We had boxed of the foundation in sections, since we didn't have a cement truck, which would have made this process a whole lot easier. It was a hot day, and although the others took breaks often, Ian and I both worked at a frantic pace. I could only assume that, like me, he was trying desperately not to think about Wanda. He and I ate lunch quickly and got right back to work. By dinner, you could have stuck a fork in me. There was line for the shower. Every guy involved was waiting to clean up before dinner was served. I went to the root cellar and plopped on one of the cots. I figured a little nap…

It was dark when I woke. When I entered the house, it was pretty quiet. A few kids were watching TV, but the adults were off spending quality time with each other before exhaustion took them to la-la land. I went to the kitchen to forage for food. There was a note on the fridge for me. It was from Maria. It said: 'I saved you dinner. It's in the microwave. Love, Maria'. I smiled. After I ate, I retrieved the clothing I had stored in Burns's room and took a nice long hot shower. My muscles were sore, and I wanted to relax in the Jacuzzi, but I was afraid I might fall asleep and drown. I was looking forward to going to bed when my phone rang. It was Burns. He was on his way home. He said he wasn't going to stop, so he would hopefully arrive tomorrow night some time.

A good night's sleep brought no relief to my sore, aching muscles. I dragged my ass to the worksite. Ian didn't look to be in much better shape, although I think his funk was more emotional than physical. At least, the foundation for the first building was complete, and we were able to walk on it so, that was the building we were going to work on. Ian announced that we would wait another day before pouring more of the foundation for the second building since we all looked tired and bedraggled. Okay, he didn't say bedraggled. I don't think Conan's vocabulary included words with more than five letters. He said we all looked like shit.

The mission for the day was to construct the frame. We had a blueprint that Ian and I had created last week, so the guys would know what they needed to do. Ian took one team, and I took the other. My team included me, Evan, my brother-in-law Tom, and Hector. Ian had Rob and Carl. The construction went surprisingly well. After lunch Carlos and Blake joined us, and I encouraged Hector to take the rest of the day off. He was the oldest and didn't have the stamina that the rest of us had. It was not as hot as yesterday, so we weren't completely exhausted by the time we quit for the day. I decided to take another nap, like yesterday, since I knew Burns would be returning tonight, and once again, the line for the shower gave me a few hours to kill if I wanted t take a hot shower.

By eight o-clock, I was settled in the kitchen playing a game of chess with Uncle George. Ian was holding baseball practice. He returned at nine and went straight to bed. At nine thirty, Uncle George played his final move, and I announced 'check mate'. He went to bed leaving me with the youngsters in the living room. They were watching a comedy show on TV. I decided to set up difficult shots on the pool table and see if I could figure the angles needed to sink the shot.

Burns arrived at eleven thirty.

I greeted him as soon as he exited the truck. "Hey, buddy. Good to have you back." I gave him a guy hug complete with a pat on the back.

"Good to be back." He took a long look at me. "I see Ian hasn't impaired you in any way."

"Well, not unless you count working every day until I drop."

He laughed. "A little hard work is good for you! You were startin' to look a little soft."

"Hey! There isn't anything soft about me!"

"I'll bet. Is there anything leftover from dinner? I haven't eaten."

While we were rummaging through the kitchen, Burns's phone rang. It was Lily, and she had Wanda with her. I heard Burns tell Lily that he would tell Ian in the morning that Wanda had called. I knew Ian would pitch a fit if he knew we didn't wake him for the call. It took some doing to rouse Ian from his coma, but he was happy that I did. I didn't get to speak to her before Ian commandeered the phone. I went to bed. I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay, I know this chapter is a day early, but I am headed to the 'land of chocolate' for a few days. I will post the next chapter either late Thursday or Friday. I hope I have lots of reviews to read when I return. This was a fun chapter to write.**

THE GYPSIES

06/23/2002 – It's been weeks since Wanda accepted Ian's latest proposal of marriage. They seem happy, even if they are apart for the moment. Gina and Evan seem happy. Rachel and Rob seem happy. Burns and Lily seem happy. Why am I not happy? I should be happy, but I'm not. I'm mostly exhausted. Getting these two buildings built is hard work. Everyone has managed to take a day off with the exception of me and Ian. I know why he hasn't taken a day off, but I'm not sure why I haven't taken a day off. Every day that I bust my ass is just one day closer to the day when Wanda says I do to Conan. It's been nearly a month since Evan took his trip to the gypsies. I'm seriously thinking of making the journey, so I can get a little T & A. If I'm going to be exhausted, I'd rather it be due to a limp dick. Ian seems to get crankier by the day, and it's not doing much for my moral.

I trudged up to the house. Ian and the boys were gathered in the kitchen eating breakfast. I entered and poured myself a cup of coffee.

"Nate, guess what Wanda did last night?" Ian blurted out.

"I don't know." I was cranky and didn't feel like playing the 'guess' game.

"She got drunk."

My head snapped around to face Ian. He was grinning.

"She went out with Sunny and drank two glasses of wine with dinner, and she was trashed. You should have heard her. She was so cute. She sounded all mushy on the phone."

"So, I guess she's not a belligerent drunk?"

"No, not at all. She's the type of girl a guy would get into his bed. I'm just glad Sunny was with her. Sunny has tolerance built up. She was definitely watching out for her."

I sighed. The thought of plying her with alcohol brought up a vision of seduction. I felt my dick begin to harden.

"We gotta go." I declared, and I quickly bolted from the room.

It was a cloudy day. It looked as though a thunderstorm might roll in. Today we were going to put the roof on the first building. Hopefully, we could accomplish it before the rain hit. We were playing against time. I climbed the ladder, and Ian climbed a ladder on the opposite side. Together, we secured the cross beams needed to secure the thick plywood that would become the roof. The others were busy cutting the windows into the walls. We kept it simple. Since the building was going to be one large room, we decided to put one window on each of the side walls, two in the back, and two in the front, plus a door.

We took a break, and Ian tried to call Wanda. He said that Sunny answered. Wanda was still sleeping off the effects of last night.

After the break, Ian started on the electrical wiring on the inside of the house. Evan and Burns climbed up to the roof to secure the plywood in place. This was no easy task. It took several of us to get the plywood off the ground using a pulley system to get it in place. They were hammering away when Burns's cell phone rang. He had left it on a workbench. I walked over and answered it, knowing it was Wanda.

"Good morning Beautiful," I trilled.

"Uh…Nate? Is Ian there with you?"

"Sure, he's up on the ladder. He'll be right down. So, I hear you had a good time last night."

"We just went out to dinner, and I had a little wine," she said defensively.

I laughed. "Hey, you don't have to explain to me. Here's Ian."

I handed the phone off to Ian as he descended the ladder and went back to work. That was the extent of my conversation with Wanda.

We all sat in the living room eating lunch. Maria had the weather channel on. She informed us that they were calling for rain for the next three days. I made my decision.

"Burns?"

"Yeah, Nate?"

"Since it is going to rain, I think I am going to take a road trip to the gypsies. It's been a month since they've gotten any supplies."

I saw Evan's lips twist into a smile. Carl lowered his eyes and bit into his sandwich. They were the only ones besides Burns and Maria that knew of Nadia and her insatiable desire for sex. The three of us had made a pact to keep the secret. Carl had also experienced Nadia's need for satisfaction, but his stamina wasn't nearly up to what she needed.

"Sure. I'll go tomorrow to get the supplies they need, and you can leave tomorrow night," Burns replied.

I needed to make sure that Burns knew that a box of condoms was at the top of the list.

I grabbed Evan at my earliest opportunity.

"Do not tell Gina about Nadia."

"Why? Are you afraid that she'll be pissed? I know she has a thing for you."

"This is not about me. This is about you. If she finds out about Nadia, don't you think she'll figure out that you got laid the last time you went?" He creased his brow. I could see he was mulling it over. "Besides, we agreed to keep this secret between the four of us. I don't want to fuck things up between you and Gina, but I don't want Ian knowing anything about this."

"Why is it a problem if Ian knows?"

_God, he is dumb as a box of rocks._

"Because if Ian knows, then Wanda knows."

He looked at me like the light when on. He grinned. "You like Wanda!"

"Yes, and I'd rather she be under the impression that I am pining away for her, not that I am fucking like a bunny—unless, you'd like me to pursue _your_ girl." I gave him a stern look.

"Your secret is safe with me."

I nodded my head. "I thought so."

The following day, I let Maria know of my impending trip. It was early and the rains hadn't started yet. I found Maria sitting in her usual morning spot relaxing in her wooden lawn chair with her eyes closed. I approached her quietly in the hopes I might sneak up on her.

She spoke before I got within eight feet of her. "You are going to have to be a lot quieter that that, if you think you are going to sneak up on me again."

I smiled at her as she lifted her head and opened her eyes. I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

"Sit," she instructed.

I did as I was told. She immediately ran her fingers through my hair the way she always did when I sat with my back up against the side of the chair.

"So, you and Ian seem to be getting along."

"Yes, I've been a good boy. I backed off on Wanda."

"That's impressive considering she's been gone for a week."

"You know, you might try being just a little more supportive."

She laughed.

"Okay, here's the way I see it. You tell me if I'm right. Wanda is gone. Gina is in happy land with Evan. Rachel and Nadine are non-issues. You're startin' to get ancy, so you are going to the gypsies to see Nadia."

I spun around to face her. I was shocked. "How did you know?"

"Burns told me last night that you were going to the gypsies."

I sighed deeply. "Shit. I thought you were a god-damned psychic."

"No, I'm just well informed." She smiled.

"Well, I'm leaving tonight. I wanted you to know."

"Don't you knock her up. Them gypsies will make you marry her. They've got their own set of rules. You would be fresh blood in their clan. You run out of condoms, you come home. You hear me?"

I cracked a broad smile. "Yes, mother. I won't knock up the gypsy."

I left after dinner. It was raining, so darkness was already blanketing the mountain. The only ones to say good-bye were Burns, Evan, and Gina. Ian was in the root cellar with a bunch of the others playing poker and drinking beer.

"Try to keep the peace, okay?" I said to Burns as I man-hugged him.

"You be careful. You'll be back in three days, right?"

"More or less. I'll call you."

Evan stepped forward. "Take care, say 'hi' to the clan for me."

This meant specifically to say 'hi' to Nadia. "I will."

Gina came forward and hugged me as well. "I'll miss you. Drive safe," she said, as pulled me tightly into her arms. I had thrown on some cologne since I knew that Nadia liked it. Gina took a deep breath in an obvious attempt to inhale my scent before she pulled away. I had a feeling that she had guessed that there was someone waiting for me, although she didn't voice it. She seemed almost tense as she slid her hands down my arms to my hands. She squeezed them before she let go.

I could see the look of disdain in Evan's eyes.

I turned and quickly slid into the driver's seat. I waved out the window and drove away.

The mine where the gypsies lived was in the mountains of Idaho. It was only about six hours from our mountain. It was pretty country, and it was a shame that I had to traverse it in darkness. When I finally pulled up to the mine, I cut the lights and got out slowly. I knew the drill. The gypsies were very careful. I tossed my keys on the ground about ten feet in front of me. I took off my shirt to show that I was unarmed, and I pulled my pants down to my ankles. You couldn't run with your pants around your ankles, so if you were a soul and had brought an army with you, you were going down. It would be a suicide mission. I slowly raised my hands behind my head and turned, so my back was to them. I lifted my hair exposing the back of my neck. A burst of light was thrown upon me, and I continued to turn slowly, so they could see my eyes.

"Nate, put your dick in your pants and get the hell over here!" A voice called from the shadows.

I smiled and pulled my pants up. "Dominik! I come in peace, and I bring supplies."

Dominik appeared from the darkness. How wrapped himself around me in a tight bear hug and kissed me on both cheeks. "You look strong!"

"I've been doing construction on the mountain. We are building a hall to be used as a school and as a game room. Our clan is getting larger."

"Come inside. I'm sure the others would love to hear all about it, but you must be tired."

"I am. Is everyone still healthy and happy?"

"Yes, and Klaudia is with child!"

"Congratulations! Adrienne will have a playmate."

"Let's hope. You know she lost the last two. She is showing, so we are hopeful that this one will survive."

Dominick brought me to the couch where I could sleep. The food would be safe in the truck for now. It was after two in the morning. I was exhausted, and I fell asleep quickly.

I woke to the smell of sausage cooking. My stomach was growling. I climbed from my lumpy couch and made my way to the front to the mine. It was very dark, but I knew my way. I had been here many times. As I emerged into the bright sunlight, I was greeted by the others in the clan. Ludmila, the matriarch of the clan, was perched next to a cook fire rustling up breakfast just outside the entrance. She was old and plump. Her grey hair was pinned into a bun, and her face showed the lines of age. Her teeth were rotted. All signs of the rough life she had led. She and Stanislaw were married, and this clan was their kin. They had three children, Aleksander, Dominik, and Nadia. The boys were both married with children. Nadia probably would be married if there was a male left to marry. Instead, she attacked me and any other red blooded male that dared to step foot into the mine.

"Good morning, Ludmila!" I trilled.

"Nate. It is so good to see you on this beautiful sunny morning."

"I see you've already broken into the van."

Aleksander stepped from the mine carrying a cup of coffee. "You were asleep. We didn't want to disturb you. It took just a second to pop the lock on your driver's side door." Aleksander was the oldest of the children. He was in his mid thirties, and he too was already showing the signs of living the life of a gypsy. His hair was peppered with gray, and he carried a scar on his left cheek as a result of a knife fight in his youth. He was tall and gangly, and his teeth were also beginning to show the signs of rot.

Ludmila and Stanislaw had left Poland when Stanislaw was just a kid in the hopes of joining those like themselves in the United States. They shunned authority and managed to disappear off the radar of the immigration people very quickly. Dominik and Nadia were both born in the U.S., however they were not born in a hospital and therefore, there was no record of their birth, not that it mattered now.

Ludmila poured a cup of coffee and handed it to me.

"Thank you. Where are the girls?"

"Klaudia and Edyta are busy putting away the non perishables." Klaudia and Edyta were married to Dominik and Aleksander respectively. Klaudia was pretty considering she wore no makeup with the exception of lipstick. She was small in stature much like Wanda. It seemed to me that she was very body conscious, and she liked to run to keep in shape. There was a lake not to far from the mine, and Klaudia could often be seen running around the lake. She was light haired compared to the others with pretty green eyes. She as about my age, as was Dominik. I always felt that if she was ever given the chance to put on real makeup and dress properly, that she would be a knock out.

Edyta was raven-haired. She met Aleksander when she was very young, and their marriage was arranged in order for the family to join another gypsy clan. Nadia told me that the story goes that they didn't even like each other in the beginning. It took six months for then to consummate their marriage, but in time, they came to love each other. They had two boys, Niko, who had just turned seventeen, and Roman, who was only fourteen. They were both raven-haired, like their mother, and as luck would have it, they took the best traits from each parent. They were good looking boys, tall and sinewy. Edyta was a smart cookie. She taught the others how to read and write. She loved to read books.

I placed my coffee on the ground and got up. I sauntered out to the van and retrieved my bag of personal items. I rummaged through the bag and came up with a couple of books from my library that Nadine had already read. I entered the mine and waited a moment for my eyes to adjust. The mine entrance was sometimes lit by two kerosene lamps. It was the living area for the clan. There were two round tables surrounded by chairs along the front wall. Two beat up couches, one of which I slept on, flanked the far wall. An old threadbare carpet covered the dirt floor.

These people lived in poverty, but they were used to it. I had tried many times, unsuccessfully, to get them to come to the mountain. They felt safe here, in the middle of nowhere with the mine as their protection, and the lake as their bath tub. Carl, Evan, and I had found them by accident years ago when we were fleeing the souls after being discovered in a convenience store that we were raiding. We had stolen a car and drove aimlessly until we found the lake and camped out for a few days until we thought the coast was clear. It was Klaudia that we saw first. She was taking her morning run around the lake when she came upon us. We grabbed her, and she was hysterical. Once we assured her that we were like her, she finally agreed to tell her people about our presence, but she wouldn't allow us to go with her. We let her go and waited for her return. What we got was Stanislaw, Aleksander, and Dominik surrounding us with shotguns. I thought I might die that day, but we kept our wits about us, and they took us as prisoners back to the mine.

Nadia was only seventeen at the time. She laid her eyes on me, and the first thing she did was grab a hold of my package. "I want him." That's what she said. She was a virgin, only I didn't know it. She didn't act like it. She took me by the hand and pulled me from the others and led me into the mine shaft. I was freaking out. I had no idea what to expect. For all I knew, she was going to have her way with me and then kill me. Once we were in the privacy of her sleeping quarters, she stripped down, and pranced in front of me. "Do you like what you see?" I was twenty two. I liked everything I saw. She could have been a cow, and I would have jumped on her. As it was, she wasn't bad looking at all. She was thin to the point of being gaunt. Her hair was dark, almost black in color. It was pulled up into a ponytail, but she pulled the band from it and shook her hair until it fell about her face. She had small features, and her eyes were wild. She was small breasted, but she had a round, voluptuous ass. I remember her legs and her armpits as being hairy. The curious thing about her was her teeth were perfect considering everyone else's had obviously been neglected with the exception of Klaudia. She seduced me that day, and I unwittingly took her virginity. We spent a week with the clan. They eventually allowed us to go, but we promised them we would return and bring supplies. It was the beginning of the ritual that still continued to this day.

As it turned out, I knocked up Nadia. I was going to be a father. I remember being scared to death at the prospect of being held against my will, but they needed those supplies, and so I was never forced to marry her. It's not as if we would have gone before a justice. The 'marriage' would have been performed by Stanislaw as the leader of the clan. My mother was still alive back then, and I remember telling her of my impending fatherhood. She was stoic about it. I was sick about it. I didn't want children. It was fate that Nadia lost that baby. She never cried, at least not in front of me. After that, I always used condoms. Whether or not Maria knows this, I couldn't tell you. Perhaps she does, but she is a keeper of secrets. I care about Nadia, but I don't love her. For me, she is an adventure. Evan came into play several years ago on a trip that I couldn't take. He is younger than her by two years, and she took his virginity when he was only sixteen. It was a fluke that she possessed condoms that I had left behind, or he probably would have knocked her up, too.

I entered the shaft and cut off into the supply room. Klaudia and Edyta were busy going through the supplies I had brought. They didn't hear me enter the little room.

"Ladies, you take my supplies, and I don't even get a hello?"

Klaudia jumped. "Jesus, Nate, you scared the hell out of me!" She was sporting a baby bump.

"Klaudia, are you gaining weight?" I said it because I knew she would defend herself.

"No! This is all baby!"

I smiled brightly. "A baby? Well, congratulations!" I hugged her.

"Thank you. I hope I can carry to full term. I don't think the mines are good for pregnancy."

"You lived in the mines when Adrianna was born." I reminded her.

"Adrianna is a special case. She is stronger than anyone I know."

"She is that." I looked around the room. I had expected Nadia to be here, and she wasn't. "Where is Nadia?"

Edyta laughed out loud.

"What's so funny?"

"When Nadia got up and saw the van, her eyes got big. She asked who was here. When Dominik told her it was you, she grabbed the soap, shampoo, razor, toothbrush, and lotions and she ran down to the lake."

"Yeah, she's getting herself all prettified for you," Klaudia teased.

"You had better eat before she gets back because I doubt you are going to see any food until dinner," Edyta chimed in.

"Good point."

I was about to turn around when I remembered my reason for seeking them out. "Edyta, here, I brought a few books."

"Oh, Nate, thank you for thinking of me!"

"I think about all of you. I wish I could make your life better."

"But you do!" Klaudia said adamantly. "Especially Nadia's." They both laughed.

I stepped back out to the cook fire, and Ludmila was just pulling off a couple of eggs over easy. "For you, Nate," she announced.

I took the plate. "Thank you."

Stanislaw and Dominik appeared from the woods. "Nate, good to see you. You look well," Stanislaw called out.

I've been okay. "Lots of things happening on the mountain." I told them about the cavern clan including the fact that they, too, had souls living among them. I did not tell them of my obsession with Wanda. I was about to tell them about Ice when all of a sudden, Nadia burst onto the scene.

"Nate! My sweet prince!" She dropped her bag of toiletries and flung herself at me. I was sitting on the ground with my back up against the outside wall of the mine. She parted her legs, straddled me, and collapsed on top of me. She stared into my eyes. Her eyes were bright, and she smelled like gardenias. The flowy dress she was wearing slid up exposing her freshly shaved legs. She bit her lower lip as she ran her fingers though my hair. "Why didn't you come see me last time?"

"I sent Evan. Didn't he make you happy?"

"He did the deed, but his heart wasn't into it. You will make me happy, yes?" she asked as her eyes penetrated mine.

My lips curled into a sly smile. "Yes, I will make you happy."

She leaned forward and kissed me hard. She wasn't hungry, she was starving. Her kiss was familiar to me, and I knew what to expect. I kissed her back, without a care to other clan members. Sexual displays didn't seem to bother them. My dick was straining against the confines of my jeans.

The kiss ended, and I stroked her hair. "You look beautiful today. All this for me?"

"I know you prefer me like this. Will you satisfy me now?" She pushed with her legs until she was standing over me. I knew she wasn't wearing any undergarments under the dress. She didn't like her panties to get in the way. "Yes, I've been waiting for you."

She reached down and grabbed me by the hands, pulling me to my feet. I turned to the others. "I'll see you at dinner?"

They all smiled.

I grabbed my bag, and Nadia dragged me through the mine shaft to the room she called her own. She immediately turned on the electric lamp in her room. It was sparsely furnished, a mottled mattress on the floor with a clean sheet on it. The sheet was for my benefit. She didn't use a sheet when I wasn't here. A small dresser with a broken drawer rested on the uneven dirt floor. It must have recently broken because it wasn't like that the last time I was here. She tossed the bag on top of the dresser. I immediately sat on the mattress while she tossed her dirty clothes into a wicker bin in the corner. She stepped onto the mattress and stood above me.

"Do you like my new dress?"

"Uh huh," I muttered as I slid my hands along her legs past the hem of her dress. I caressed her ass. "Lift it for me. I want to see your beautiful pussy."

She did as she was told.

"Mmmmm." I slid my hands to inside of her thighs and placed my lips on her soft mound. I kissed it, and then let my tongue slide between her labia to her g-spot. She let out a deep sigh. "Come to me." I instructed as I lay back on the bed.

She lifted her dress over her head and knelt over my face. I parted her labia with my fingers and used my tongue to stroke her folds. She cooed her approval. I could taste her excitement as it dripped from her pussy. I knew she would be tight, so I inserted my finger, and she let out a little cry of delight.

"You like that?" I whispered.

I looked up at her. She had her eyes closed, and she was biting down on her lower lip. Her body began to move in the gyrating motion of intercourse. I went back to licking her. I bit her G-spot and sucked on it. She cried out, and I took the opportunity to shove two fingers into her. She moaned. I wanted her to cum. I continued this ritual until she grabbed the wall, leaned into it, and let out a long, guttural moan that lasted nearly a minute before she started to laugh uncontrollably.

"Stop!" She yelled. She rolled off of me.

By now, my dick was trapped inside my jeans screaming to get out. She unbuttoned my shirt and helped me take it off, while I feverishly undid my pants and slid them off. I was naked in a matter of thirty seconds. I rolled her onto her back and grabbed my bag. I rifled through it until I found the box of condoms. Another thirty seconds, and I was protected. She opened her legs and grabbed my swollen cock, guiding it into her tight vagina. Thankfully, these condoms were heavily lubricated. She convulsed as I pushed my way in.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Uh huh. The first time is always the hardest. You shouldn't have let me cum."

"I like it when you're tight." I said, as I began the slow rhythmic movement. The heat of her body penetrated the latex of the condom, and she felt good. I had the forethought of beating off before I left the mountain in anticipation of giving her a good ride. Stamina had always been one of my strengths—that, and a better than average sized penis. I rode her for a good twenty minutes. She was moaning with each thrust now, and the sounds of her pleasure were wearing me down. Finally, I couldn't hold back any longer. I shot my wad, and I cried out. My body spasmed, and I collapsed on her tiny frame. "Fuck. I needed that," I exclaimed.

She muttered something in polish.

"What did you say?"

"Zostaly spelnione, me."

"In English, please."

"You have satisfied me."

"Already?" I asked as I removed the condom and tossed it in the small trash basket she kept near the bed; another item she imported for my use, like the sheets.

"For now, Ogier."

'Ogier' was her nickname for me. It meant stallion.

I rolled onto my back and pulled her to me.

"So, tell me what's been happening with you since I've been gone?"

"Not good things."

I was caressing her back as she spoke with her head on my chest. I lifted my head to look at her.

"What do you mean—'not good things'?"

"It's Niko."

Niko was Aleksander's boy, Nadia's nephew. He was seventeen and just five years younger than Nadia.

"He looks at me."

"Looks at you how?"

"Like he wants to rip my clothes off and have his way with me."

"He hasn't; has he?"

"Not yet, but…"

"But?"

"When I bathe, I always see him. He watches me. I think he is playing with himself when he watches. I am afraid to be alone with him."

"You should say something to Stanislaw."

"I don't think he would care. Niko is a man, and a man has to have satisfaction. That is how Stanislaw thinks."

"You could come back to the mountain with me."

She lifted her head. "You would marry me?"

"Nadia, I'm not the marrying kind. You know that, but you would like the mountain. There are others there your age. There is so much you could do. You could go to school. We have two wonderful teachers there. They are of Russian descent."

"You know he would never allow me to leave the family without a husband."

I felt like I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I couldn't marry Nadia. I would marry Gina first. Gina held a bigger place in my heart than Nadia, but they both paled compared to my feelings for Wanda.

I sighed. "Don't let him get you pregnant," I said.

"Will you leave me condoms?"

"Yes, I will leave all that I don't use, but promise me you will put him off as long as you can, and think about asking Stanislaw about coming with me to the mountain."

"I will, I promise."

She kissed me. Now, normally I would be ready to take her in a short amount of time, but this thing with Niko weighed on me, and my little buddy wasn't so keen on jumping to attention. Nadia noticed immediately.

"Have I become ugly that you don't want to fuck me?"

"It's not that. I am worried for you."

"Don't be. Niko is a virgin. I don't think he has the balls to approach me yet." She curled her body and took my defunct dick in her hand. She began to lick it like an ice cream cone. _That's working._ It wasn't long before I was using condom number two and pounding it home. I had her on her knees, and I was ramming her from behind. I was grunting each time I slammed my cock into her. After the second time, we fell asleep.

I woke to Nadia stroking and kissing my chest. I laughed. "Are you still horny?"

"Yes, but I need to go to the bathroom, or I am going to piss all over you."

"Maybe we should take a little break. Maybe take a nice walk around the lake. Would you like that?"

"Yes, Ogier."

I pulled on my pants forgoing my boxers, and Nadia slipped her dress over her head. I grabbed a condom and slipped it into my back pocket—just in case. It was late afternoon. The cicadas were out in full force filling the woods with the sounds of 'shushing' everywhere. As soon as we reached the woods, Nadia pulled up her dress, squatted, and did her business. I, on the other hand, was more tactful about it. I went behind a tree to urinate.

We crossed through the woods and came out to the field adjacent to the lake. Nadia was dancing like a sprite. She was full of energy. I decided to pick wildflowers for her as we walked. I knew the names of some of the flowers thanks to Maria, my earth mother.

"See this?" I picked a flower. "This is called penstemon." I walked a few more steps. "And this is white yarrow." I picked it, adding it to the first flower.

"They are pretty."

"Yes, they are. And they grow wild. Like you."

"You think I'm wild?"

I caressed her face. "In a good way," I whispered, and then I kissed her gently.

She turned and ran to another flower and picked it. "Do you know what this is?"

"Goldenrod."

"How do you know the names of all these flowers?"

"There is a lovely lady on the mountain named Maria. She is Native American, and she worships the earth like her ancestors before her. She knows the names of all the plants indigenous to these parts."

"And she told you these names?"

I sat down on a tree stump and pulled Nadia into my lap. "When the invasion happened, my brother-in-law, Tom, and I scrambled to get everyone in the family together who wasn't already a casualty of the souls. There were six of us, me, my mother, my sister and Tom, and their child Priscilla, and my Uncle George. Uncle George had a friend, who lived on the mountain, and he remembered that there was a huge cave on the property. We figured it might be a safe place for us to hide. When we got there, we found Maria. She was shrewd, and she figured out before we did that the cave was a good place to avoid the souls. She and my mother became close friends. When my mother died, Maria would take me on long walks in the woods with her. It was difficult for me to talk about my mother. I was pretty devastated by her loss. Maria would pick flowers from the woods and the meadow to put on my mother's grave. She told me the names of all the flowers that we picked because she said like humans, every flower has the right to be acknowledged." I had to blow out a long breath to keep my own emotions from overwhelming me. I missed my mom.

"I'm sorry about your mother."

"Me, too—But Maria has become like a mother to me. She is good, and kind, and wise."

"You're the smartest person I know."

"Well, your pool is limited."

"Yeah, I guess."

I don't think she understood what I said.

She leaned in and kissed me until I lost my balance on the stump, and we both fell over into the high grass. We both laughed.

"Come on. It's getting late. Ludmila is probably cooking up a storm."

It took us another hour to get all the way around the lake considering we were constantly stopping to fondle each other. And as I predicted, Nadia dragged me down into a soft spot and opened my pants. She straddled me and pulled off her dress. I fondled her breasts and lifted myself to suckle on them. Before I knew it, I was reaching into my pocket for the condom. No sooner had I donned the latex, she was on me riding me in the meadow under the blazing heat of the sun. It was hot. By the time we had both sustained orgasm, we were sweating our asses off. We ended up in the lake. We made out on the shore until we were dry enough to put our clothes back on. I only put on my pants. I slung my shirt over my shoulder, and we walked hand in hand back to the mine. Nadia proudly showed her bouquet of flowers to her family.

"Aren't they beautiful? Nate picked them for me." she beamed.

"They're just weeds," Niko said sarcastically.

"Nuh uh. Each of these flowers has a name, just like you and me."

Niko mumbled something indistinguishable and walked off towards the woods.

That night at dinner, we all had wine and good conversation. I told them about the arrival of Ice. They seemed leery about it, but I assured them that there are some souls who are sympathetic to our situation. Dominik pointed out that it seemed insane that those who were using a human body to live could be sympathetic to our plight. I reminded him that the world is insane in itself. I was pretty liquored up by the time I rose to go to bed. I thought I might be able to pass out, but Nadia had her own agenda. Two condoms later, I passed out from sheer exhaustion.


	23. Chapter 23

**Okay, so I take a little vacay and during my absence we have an earthquake and now, a hurricane is roaring up the east coast at us. It is due to hit (or miss) us on Saturday. My intention is to post Chapter 24 on Sunday but if, by chance, we lose power, then posting on the computer will not be an option. I just want all of you who look forward to the chapters on Thursdays and Sundays to know, I would not let you down intentionally. I do wish I could hear from more of you though…**

A PLEA FOR NADIA

06/24/2002 – I've been here in Idaho for a little more than twenty-four hours. I've experienced both ecstasy and dismay all at the hands of Nadia. We've had sex five times already. At this rate, I'll have to leave tomorrow, or I'll be out of condoms. The dismay is in the news that her nephew, Niko, is showing a sexual interest in her. Not only is it morally wrong, but she could get pregnant. Alternatives: I could drag her out of here to the mountain against the wishes of her family. Or I could marry her and take her to the mountain with her family's blessing. I would be miserable, but she would be safe. My third choice would be to knock her up myself so at least; the child would have a new blood line. He can still fuck her, but he can't get her pregnant. That only solves the problem until she gives birth, and then she'd be right back in the same boat. The last choice and probably the most logical would be to leave her as many condoms as I can, in the hopes that he will be conscientious enough to realize that if he gets her pregnant, it would be a bad thing.  
>Fuck. How do I always get myself in the middle of this shit? I'm going to confront Stanislaw and see if he will allow her to leave on her own accord.<p>

I looked over and Nadia was still sleeping peacefully. I grabbed my bag and slid off the mattress to my feet. I thought it might be prudent to bathe before she woke up, or the chances were I'd never make it out of her room.

I stepped out of the cave and the sky was gray. Edyta was tending the fire.

"Where is everyone?"

"The men are asleep. Between the drinking and the sex, they will sleep till noon."

"So, why aren't the women sleeping late? They had sex as well, didn't they?"

Edyta laughed. "We don't have 'Ogier'. Ludmilla says Stanislaw is lucky to keep it up and Aleksander is done in five minutes. He doesn't even say thank you. Klaudia is pregnant and I'm not even sure if she will let Dominik climb on top of her. He was pretty drunk last night, so I don't know."

"And where are the others?"

"Ludmilla and Klaudia are bathing, and the boys are off somewhere."

"I was going to take a bath but…"

I didn't relish the thought of seeing Ludmilla in her birthday suit. Klaudia was pregnant, although she was probably still pretty hot.

"Maybe I'll have a cup of coffee till they get back."

Edyta handed me an empty cup, and I poured myself some of the fresh coffee she had brewing in the edge of the fire. Niko was Edyta's boy, and I was debating on whether or not to bring up the issue with Nadia when Dominik appeared at the mine entrance.

"Good Morning," he said cheerfully. "Have you seen my wife?"

"Bath." Edyta replied.

He nodded his head in acknowledgement. "Coffee."

Edyta silently poured a cup and handed it to him. He took a seat, sipped his coffee, and smiled.

"Good coffee?" I asked.

"No, the coffee is weak, but the night was good—better than good."

"I take it Klaudia was receptive to your needs?" I surmised.

"Yes, Klaudia was an angel last night."

"Hmm." I replied. He used the word angel, and it made me think of Gina. I wondered what she was doing back at the mountain. Probably fucking Evan's brains out. I was getting plenty of poontang with Nadia, but I still missed Gina. She had a way of pushing my buttons to the point where I either wanted to strangle her or make love to her. Wanda crept into my brain, but I pushed her out. _No, she has Ian._ I told myself, but it didn't work. I pictured her at the caverns cavorting with Lily, and Mel, and Jared, Sunny and Kyle. She was in wedding mode, probably all aglow with wedding preparation.

"Ogier?" Nadia was standing in front of me. I was pulled from my daydream.

"Nadia. I was hoping you would sleep."

"I'll sleep when you are gone." She snuggled up against me.

I smiled weakly. At that moment, Ludmilla and Klaudia emerged from the edge of the woods.

"I was on my way to bathe." I replied.

"I'll come with you," she said eagerly.

I had been hoping for a little alone time, but that obviously wasn't going to happen. When we reached the lake, we brushed our teeth. Nadia stripped off her dress and ran into the water.

"Come on, Nate!" she called out cheerfully.

I stripped down and grabbed my bottle of shampoo from my bag. I waded out to where Nadia was, and she took the bottle from me.

"Let me wash you."

She pushed my head down, and I dipped under the water quickly. She squirted shampoo into my hair and began to caress my scalp. It felt good to have her fingers in my hair slowly sculpting it into different styles. I poured some shampoo into my hand and threw the bottle back to the shore. I reciprocated the caressing.

"Ogier, will you stay with me a while?" she asked as she stared into my eyes.

"I can't. We are trying to get the buildings completed before the cold weather sets in."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tonight, after sunset."

Her eyes pooled with tears.

"Come with me," I offered.

"I can't," she lamented.

"You are a grown woman. You can make your own decisions."

"If I leave without marriage, they will shun me. They are my family, Nate. Would you walk away from your family?"

I sighed. "No."

"Would marrying me be so terrible?" Her hazel eyes bore into mine. She was practically begging for my hand in marriage.

"Nadia, I care about you. I always have, but—I am in love with another. She is otherwise engaged, but I can't shut off my feelings for her. If I married you, I would be living a lie. You can understand that, can't you?"

"But I love you, Nate."

"I know you do. If you are upset, I can leave now. I would understand your reasons."

"NO!" She wrapped herself tightly around me. The shampoo began to slide down my forehead to my eyes. I held her tightly and dipped us both under the water.

As we came up she ran her fingers through my hair. "Again," she demanded. I dipped us again. She kissed me as soon as we emerged from the water. It was a passionate kiss. She pulled away and went for my neck. She latched on, and it felt good. I realized she was trying to mark me. Claiming her territory. _Shit! _I didn't want the others at the mountain to see proof that I had been satisfied by a woman.

"Gina, stop!"

"Gina. Is that her name? The one you love?"

"Yes." It was a little white lie. Or was it? _Fuck, I don't know anymore._

"Let me be your Gina."

"No, you are my Nadia." With that I kissed her, and she reached down and fondled my dick until I was ready to please her. I lifted her out of the water, and she wrapped her legs around me using her hands to guide me into her. We fucked while standing in the lake. I had no protection, so I needed to make sure that I pulled out before I climaxed. I looked over to the shore, and I saw Niko. He was watching us. Our eyes met. I thought he would walk away, but he didn't. He just stood there watching. I wanted to stop, but I was well on my way to the point of no return. I kept her back to him. I didn't want her to see him. She was enjoying herself, and I didn't want to spoil that. A few minutes later, she threw her head back and cried out. I needed to get her off me. _Now! _I lifted her up and shot my load into the lake.

The clouds had thickened during the morning hours, and now it started to rain.

"We should get back," I whispered.

We waded out of the water. Niko was gone. We donned our clothes in silence. I deposited my shampoo into my bag and slung the bag over my shoulder. We walked towards the woods.

"Nate?"

"Yes?"

"You'll come back, won't you?"

"I'll always come back as long as you want me to," I said sincerely.

"You know, if I ever get lucky enough to get pregnant, I hope it's yours."

"If you ever make it to the mountain, you may find another who would steal your heart."

"If I even made it to the mountain, my heart would still belong to you."

I reached for her hand and interlaced her fingers in mine as we walked. I knew that she believed her words to be true, but I also knew that Blake, although younger, would be better suited to her. Even Evan might change his tune if Nadia came to the mountain.

The rain was coming steady now. Stanislaw and Aleksander were securing a tarp over the fire when we reached the mine. Ludmila was cooking breakfast. Eggs and Italian sausage. After we ate, I approached the two elder men. "Can we talk?"

"Sure, Nate."

"In private."

Stanislaw raised his eyebrow. He led the way into the mine and took us down a long shaft that wasn't used by the family except as storage for the perishable foods. It was cooler here because it was deeper than the other shafts. It was cooler than the cave. I was still wet from putting clothes on my wet body, and then walking back in the rain. The cold air gave me a chill.

"What is so important that you can't share with the rest of the family?" Stanislaw demanded.

"I want to take Nadia back to the mountain."

"Are you asking me for her hand in marriage?"

"No, while I admit that I care about her, I cannot say that I am 'in love' with her."

"Then, the answer is no."

"There are others on the mountain. She could find love there. She can also go to school and learn how to read and write and mathematics."

"She knows how to read. Klaudia taught her."

I took a deep breath. "There's something else."

"What?"

"I was making love to her in the lake, and Niko was watching."

Aleksander laughed. "He's a man, why wouldn't he watch. I would watch."

I glared at him. "She says he watches her a lot. She's afraid he might…" I couldn't think of a kind way to say it. "…force himself on her."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Aleksander shot back.

"Think about it. You all have wives to do your business with. Who does he have? Nadia is the only unattached female. It would make sense that he would eventually approach her."

Stanislaw leered at me. "Niko is a handsome young man. Are you afraid he is going to approach her, or are you afraid that maybe she might approach him?"

I was dumbfounded by the remark. I hadn't even considered that Nadia, being the sexual creature that she is, might actually be thinking of seducing him.

"No, she wouldn't. She knows the difference between right and wrong."

Aleksander interrupted. "Are you saying my Niko doesn't?"

"No—I don't know. I only know she said she was afraid of him. Why would she say that?"

"I don't know, but she goes nowhere unless I say so." Stanislaw spoke with superiority.

"How can you stifle her?" I said in exasperation.

He raised his voice. "She is my daughter, and she will do as I say!"

I interlaced my fingers behind my head in frustration and paced the tunnel. Then it hit me. "Let me take Niko then."

"Niko is only seventeen," Aleksander reminded me.

"And?" I replied.

"And his mother will not allow him to leave. I will not hurt her like that."

"What about when he turns eighteen?" I was bargaining.

"When he is of legal age, then he will make his own decisions," Aleksander declared.

"Then we have a deal?"

"If he wants to go, I will not stop him," Aleksander said sincerely. We shook on it.

We trudged back to the mine entrance. Nadia looked at me expectantly, and I just shook my head. Her eyes filled with tears, and she ran into the mine.

"Fuck," I muttered.

"I will go to her," Stanislaw said as he turned towards the mine shaft.

"No, I started this. I'll deal with her."

Stanislaw stepped aside and let me pass. I walked slowly down the passage hoping to find the right words to appease her. I entered her little room, and she was lying on the mattress sobbing.

"I'm sorry, baby; I tried." I said rubbing the back of my head trying to soothe my own emotions. "He said I can take Niko, but not until he turns eighteen."

"No! That's not fair!" she cried out.

"I can sneak you out if you want."

"If he goes, then I go," she said defiantly.

"I can't take you until he goes, and I can't take him until he turns eighteen. If I take you now, they may not let him go at all."

"He only just turned seventeen! That's practically another year!"

I got on my knees, and she buried her face in my chest. "I'll come back to see you as soon as I can. I promise. You just keep Niko off of you. Will you do that?"

"I'll try."

"Good girl." I cupped my hand under her chin and kissed her gently. "I promise you will be very happy on the mountain."

I lay with her on the mattress and stroked her hair and to my surprise, she fell asleep. I took a deep sigh and closed my eyes. I wrestled with the idea of leaving the condoms behind. I didn't want to give her the option of saying yes to him, or even worse, being the seducer.

We woke a short time later and Nadia seemed to be back to her old cheery and horny self. I opened my eyes to her stroking my penis. 'He' seemed happy about it even if the head on my shoulders wasn't in sync with the idea of fucking for a seventh time in two days. I figured I should give her what she wanted. I probably wouldn't be getting any until I came back here anyway. And now that I knew the circumstances, I would make sure it was me doing the trips each month.

She began sucking my dick which felt good because my dick was raw. Two condoms later, I rolled off of her. "I can't do this again," I pleaded.

"Okay, I'm satisfied. Let's go eat," she said abruptly. I started to laugh. I was exhausted, but I couldn't stop laughing.

"What?" she asked with an innocent face.

"You. You are like the energizer bunny. Remember that commercial?"

"Oh, yeah." She giggled.

She jumped off the mattress and dragged me to my feet. I spoke as I dressed. I donned my underwear in the hopes that I wouldn't be taking them off again.

"Don't say anything about Niko going. I don't know if Aleksander has had a chance to discuss it with Edyta yet."

"I won't."

Dinner was very quiet. I wasn't sure who knew about our conversation in the mine, but I wasn't going to be the one to bring it up. Stanislaw offered me a beer.

"No, thank you. I'm driving tonight."

"You're leaving?" Niko said just a bit too enthusiastically.

I shot a look at Aleksander. "Yes, I need to get back to the mountain."

Edyta spoke up. "Niko, you are growing into such a man."

Niko looked at her and creased his eyebrows at the randomness of her statement.

She continued. "Soon, you will want to take a wife."

Niko's eyes shot immediately to Nadia. Nadia raised her hands in protest. "Oh, no. I'm out of here." She scrambled to her feet.

"SIT!" Stanislaw ordered.

Nadia swallowed hard and sat next to me. I took her hand in mine, patting it to comfort her.

Edyta again spoke. "You will be eighteen in another year. Nate has offered to take you with him to his clan at that time. He says there are girls—women, who might interest you."

"You want me to leave the family?" He sounded tense.

"Only if you want to. A man has needs. Nadia says you watch her."

"Nadia is sexy," Niko replied a little too quickly.

The men smiled, and the women looked horrified. Edyta smacked Aleksander. "She is your sister!"

"Have you seen her body?" he said defensively.

"Have you?" she shot back.

I lost it. "Son of a bitch! You're all fucking voyeurs!"

"Nate, calm down," Stanislaw ordered.

I looked at Nadia. "Am I the only one fucking you?"

"Yes! I can't believe you are asking me that!"

Aleksander got in my face. "Look, just because we appreciate a good body doesn't mean we are raping her. I have a wife,'" he growled.

"Niko doesn't," I growled back.

"Well, if you are so god damned worried about your pussy gettin' tapped, then why don't you marry her?"

"Because I'm already married!" I blurted out. It was a blatant lie, but I knew they would stop hounding me about it if they thought I was married.

Nadia released my hand. "You and Gina are married?"

"You cheat on your wife?" Klaudia blurted out.

Again, the men were laughing, and the women were shocked.

"Look, I knew Nadia long before I met Gina. I know Nadia depends on me and Evan for sexual satisfaction. My wife doesn't know. I'm not proud of what I'm doing."

"You have a hickey on your neck," Edyta pointed out.

"Yeah, well, I guess I'm going to be doing a lot of explaining when I get home. I only hope she won't divorce me."

Nadia was quick to apologize. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"How the hell are you going to explain that away and not end up divorced?" Dominik wanted to know.

"I'll call Burns and ask him to take my wife with him to the caverns. He has a human girlfriend there, and I'm sure he can use her as a good reason for going. Gina will go because she has made friends with some of the clan there. He'll stay a week and then return. My neck will be healed by then. I'll cover it with her make-up, so the others won't see it." Lies. All lies.

"The soul on your mountain has a human girlfriend?" Stanislaw was practically irate.

"Yes."

"That's fucking crazy."

"He's happy and so is she." I said in his defense.

Again, it was Edyta who took command of the conversation. "So, you plan to keep coming back here to service Nadia and cheat on your wife?"

"What other alternatives does she have? Stanislaw won't let her leave unless she marries."

"Why can't she go when Niko goes?" Edyta asked.

Nadia sat up straight, the look of hope shone in her eyes.

"I'd be happy to take her. I know of at least three men who would be suitable partners for her. I think she would be extremely happy, and I would be very protective of her."

Edyta looked directly at her father-in-law. "Stanislaw?"

"Then we would lose two of our children," he lamented.

"They could come back and visit, or you all could come. I've told you this before," I said in hopes of changing his mind.

"Please, Poppa!" Nadia pleaded.

"We have a year. I will think about it."

"Oh, Poppa! Thank you!"

He hadn't given his blessing, but in Nadia's eyes, this was as good as a 'yes'. She rose and sat in his lap like a child and hugged him.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to make a call," I announced. The clan all assumed it was to initiate my plan to remove my wife from the mountain to keep her from learning of my infidelities.

I punched Burns's number into my phone.

"Hello."

"Hey, it's me."

"What's up?"

"A lot of shit."

"You all right?"

"Yeah, but they think I'm married, and I'm cheating on my wife."

"What?" Burns sounded pretty shocked.

"It's a long story. The short of it is I had to give them a reason why I couldn't marry Nadia."

"Did you knock her up again?"

"No. I was just trying to convince them to let her come to the mountain, so she could live a normal life and maybe find someone who does want to marry her."

"Is this about Gina and Evan?"

"No!" I said just a little too defensively. "I would never want to destroy Gina's happiness." I reiterated. Okay, maybe the thought of having Gina at my beck and call was part of my motivation, but I didn't want Nadia spending the rest of her life fucking her nephew—make that nephews. After all, Roman was fourteen. How long would it be before his hormones kicked in? The thought of the two boys tag teaming her sent a shiver down my spine.

"Look, I just need to get her out of this situation before something morally wrong happens."

"I don't get it. If you are cheating on your wife, isn't that morally wrong?"

"Jesus! I don't have a wife!—and even if I did, she wouldn't have the same bloodline as me."

There was silence on the other end of the phone, and I knew Burns was turning this bit of information over in his head.

"You're kidding me."

"Nothing has happened yet, but I feel that it's only a matter of time."

"Good luck. When are you coming home?"

"I was going to come home tonight, but this call is supposed to be to get you to take my wife to the caverns, so she won't see the mark on my neck left by Nadia. I imagine you wouldn't leave until tomorrow morning at the earliest, so I can't leave until tomorrow night. I'm almost out of condoms. Anymore than that, and she might kill me."

Burns let out a belly laugh. "We should all have your problems," he quipped.

"You still haven't done the deed with Lily?" I asked.

"I've done the deed, but I'd say we are more on the scale of a normal couple."

"You are a soul, and she is human. Ain't nothin' normal about that."

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"

"There's a soul I'd love to test your theory on."

"You kill me, you know that? You are complaining that Nadia's about to kill you, and yet, you are fantasizing about Wanda."

"Sorry, truth be told, Wanda is never very far out of my thoughts."

"You need to get over that."

"No can do."

"You are just going to end up with heart smashed into a million pieces."

Silence. I knew what he was saying was the truth.

"I gotta go. I'll see you in two days." I hung up.

I returned to the clan which had moved inside the mine to the living area. The lanterns were lit. The general mood went to a more festive place.

"I'm staying another night," I announced. "Burns said they will leave in the morning. Gina is excited to see her friends."

Klaudia voiced her disapproval. "I can't believe you cheat on your wife."

"Shut up, Klaudia!" Nadia replied.

"Hey! This is my problem, okay? I try not to think of it as cheating, but rather a service to a fellow clan."

Klaudia got up and left the room. She headed down the shaft obviously going to bed.

"Don't mind her," Dominik responded. "She's pregnant. Everything is emotional with her these days."

The funny thing was I felt like shit. I didn't have a wife, but I did love Gina, and the fact that I named her as my wife, made me feel like I was cheating on her.

"Excuse me. I need to make another phone call."

I walked off into the woods and dialed Burns's number again.

"Hello?"

"Hey, do you know where Gina is?"

"She's in the root cellar watching Evan play cards. Why?"

"I want to talk to her."

"O-kayyy."

Burns was up and moving. I could hear the back door swing and slam as he left the house. "You're not going to involve Gina in this mess, are you?"

"There's nothing to involve her in."

I heard the door to the root cellar open, and there was laughter in the background. After another minute, the laughter was gone, and I heard Gina's soft voice.

"Hello?"

"Hey!" Okay, now that I had her on the phone, I didn't know what to say.

"Nathan, are you all right?"

"I'm fine. I just…" I was at a loss for words. "I just wanted to know how you are doing."

"I'm good. Why would you think I wasn't? Is Evan going to dump me?"

"No. No. I just—I miss you." And I hung up. _Shit! I'm such a sap._

I turned to walk back to the mine, and my phone rang. I knew I had to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Do you need to talk?" Gina asked.

"I've just got some stuff going on here, and it made me think about you and the things we've been through. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"Are you drunk?"

"No, although by the end of this night, I will be, and I'm afraid I'll miss you even more."

She was silent for a few beats, and then she blurted out, "I love you", and she hung up. I felt my eyes fill with tears. I wiped them away with my palms and headed slowly back to the mine. I plopped on the floor with my back up against the edge of the couch.

"I need a drink," I announced.

"Beer, wine, or tequila?" Dominik asked.

"Give me the hard stuff."

Dominik handed me the bottle of tequila, and I chugged on it for a good ten seconds.

"See that?" Dominik exclaimed. "Guilt is good!"

By the end of the night, I'm not even sure how I got to Nadia's bed. I think I was helped by both Nadia and Dominik, but I couldn't be sure. When I woke, Nadia was gone. My head was pounding. I sat up, and the room was still spinning. I saw black spots before my eyes. I took a few deep breaths and waited for my vision to clear before getting to my feet and stumbling towards the mine entrance.

"You look like hell," Klaudia said sarcastically.

"Well, since that's where I'm going, I might as well look the part."

She handed me coffee. "I was going to go for a run. You should come. It will clear out the cobwebs."

Cobwebs? I had full blown gargantuan spider webs in my brain. Still, I didn't like Klaudia judging me, so I reluctantly took her up on the offer. I sucked down my coffee, took a leak, and joined Klaudia who was waiting for me by the lake. We started to jog at a pace that I found to be relatively easy.

"Where's Nadia?"

"She went with Niko and Roman to tend the garden behind the mine."

The thought of her alone with the two boys registered on my face.

"Oh, stop. Niko wouldn't touch her. Besides, Roman is with them."

"I'm sorry. It's just that I worry about her."

"You know, you say you don't love her, and yet you come here, screw her brains out, and then instead of leaving, you worry about her. What does that sound like to you?"

"I'm not in love with her. I just hold a special place in my heart for her. I am a leader on the mountain. I care about all of my people. Why wouldn't I care about the woman who once carried my child inside of her?"

"Do you care about your wife?"

"Of course, I do."

"Are you in love with her?"

"I married her, didn't I?"

"You didn't answer my question."

I picked up the pace. Klaudia had to push to keep up.

"You think you can out run me, and maybe in a few months, you will, but I am strong."

"Do you love Dominik?" I asked.

"Most days," she replied.

I allowed a smile to creep onto my face. "It's like that for me, too."

She didn't smile. "It's still wrong." She pumped her legs and left me in the dust.

A few minutes later, I came upon her bent over catching her breath. I placed my hand gently on her back.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

"Yes, I haven't sprinted in a while."

"Can you keep a secret?"

She straightened up and crooked her eyebrows at me.

"What kind of secret?"

"The kind that will ensure that Nadia and Niko make it out of here to the mountain."

"What?" she demanded.

"You promise to keep the secret? You will tell no one? Not even Dominik?"

"Okay! I promise."

"I'm not married. I said that, so Stanislaw would give Nadia the chance to have a happy life with someone she deserves to be with."

"You son-of-a-bitch! I believed you!"

"You were supposed to believe me."

"Does Nadia know?"

"No, and I don't want her to know. I'd rather she think that I was cheating on my wife with her than for her to know that I won't marry her."

"I see your point. Your secret is safe with me."

I pulled Klaudia into my arms and gave her a heartfelt hug. "Thank you."

By the time we circled the lake, my head was clear, and I was a ball of sweat. I returned to the mine, grabbed my bag, and headed for the lake for a bath. I was just about finished when Nadia came running though the field towards the lake. She was covered in dirt. She stripped in an instant and waded out to where I was. I couldn't help but smile at her exuberance.

"Will you wash me?" she sounded almost like a little girl when she said it.

"Come here." I pulled her body to mine and kissed her. She reciprocated by wrapping herself around me and kissing me long and hard. Her nipples went erect, and they were pressed to my chest. My dick responded immediately. Like yesterday, we fucked in the lake. Unlike yesterday, there was no sign of Niko. It doesn't mean he wasn't there, but I couldn't see him. Like yesterday, I pulled her off of me just before the jism exploded from my dick.

By the time we reached the mine, Klaudia had prepared a plate with bacon and pancakes. She handed the plate to me and shot me a quick smile before any of the others could see it.

I spent the rest of the day making sure Nadia was happy. There were three condoms left in the box by the time I climbed into the van and turned the ignition key.


	24. Chapter 24

**So, the hurricane hit, but luckily, for us, maximum winds reached only 68 MPH. The Outer Banks of North Caroline took the brunt of the storm as usual. Lucky for us, not so lucky for them. I've been writing like crazy since Thursday night when I returned from the land of chocolate. I don't know how you all feel about reading this story, but I love writing it. I love Nate. I hope you do, too.**

THE TROUBLE WITH HICKEYS

06/26/2002 – I never realized how much I love my bed. It's firm and yet soft and comfortable. And my sheets smell Downey fresh. Heh-heh. No pun intended. I smell like—the lake. I guess we are pretty spoiled living here on the mountain. Even the caverns seem luxurious compared to the grime of the mines.

I suppose I should get up, but seriously, I'd rather just lie in bed all day and soak. That's what my grandmother used to say. If you lie in the bed, half awake, half asleep because you just don't want to get up, she said you were soaking.

I just want to soak.

I left Nadia behind. I only hope that she and Niko will refrain from doing anything stupid. They have to wait a year for Niko to turn eighteen before they will be granted permission to come to the mountain. I left behind the three unused condoms in a place where she would assume that I might have dropped them. I pray they will still be unused when I return.

I'm sure they guys are working on the building, but to be honest, I'm going to go back to sleep. The mountain can survive one more day without me.

I stretched hard and opened my eyes to the pounding on my door. I turned on the light.

"Come in," I grumbled.

The door opened, and the bopsy twins vaulted into my room. "Burns told us to check on you," Sarah bellowed, as she jumped to her knees on her bed. She stared at me and raised her eyebrows. "Wow! You got a hickey just like the one Megan gave to Jamie before he left for the caverns."

I immediately raised my hand to my neck. "Yeah, can you keep a secret?"

"What do I get for keeping your secret?"

"What do you want?"

"A kiss."

I leaned forward and she puckered up. I kissed her forehead.

She folded her arms across her chest. "No, I want a real kiss, with tongue and everything."

"No," I said firmly.

"Aw, come on! I'm fifteen, and I've never been kissed."

"And I'm eleven years older than you. I am not going to kiss you. You're time will come, princess."

"And how old was the girl who gave you the love bite?"

"Twenty-two."

"Why do you need to keep a secret anyway?" Megan interjected. "It's not like you have a girlfriend."

"Because I am a leader here, and it doesn't look very professional. You have any make-up in your room?"

"Sure, I wear make-up all the time," Sarah declared. She wrinkled her nose. "You smell."

"Thanks, I guess I'll get up and take a shower. Can you bring me that make-up?"

"Sure, I'll be right back."

Sarah jumped off the bed and bolted out the door. Megan was still standing a few feet from the bed.

"So, how are you holding up Megan?"

"I'm okay. I miss him, but I talk to him almost every day."

"He'll be back before you know it. Listen, I'm hoping I am premature here, but if you ever need any condoms, you come to me, and I'll hook you up."

I was stuck on the bed because under the blanket, I was wearing only my boxers.

"I'm not ready for anything like that yet. Jamie likes to talk a good game with the 'babe' stuff, but he's really very respectful."

"Good."

Sarah reentered the room. "Here you go. Nadine has a lot more. I could ask her if you want."

"No, secret remember?"

"Right." She just stood there staring at me.

"I'll see you later."

It took a second for her to realize that I couldn't leave my bed with her here.

"Oh! Right!" She blushed and left with Megan in tow.

I dragged myself out of the bed. I had three things to accomplish today. First and foremost was to avoid Gina. The last thing I needed was for her to see my neck. I needed to shower, strip my bed, and do laundry in that order.

I gathered clean clothes. I took my towel and slung it over my shoulder in an effort to cover the bruise on my neck. I would have worn a turtleneck had it not been officially summer. That wouldn't be too obvious. I took two steps outside the cave into the bright afternoon sunshine and who should I run into?

"Nate! I heard you were back!" Gina walked right up to me and engulfed me in a hug. As she pulled back the towel slipped towards my shoulder. I could see her eyes hone in on my neck. Her eyes were as big as saucers.

"What the hell is that?" she said in surprise.

"Nothing. I have to go."

I took off at a clip.

"Nathan!" she called after me, but I didn't stop. I felt like shit. I felt guilty. I knew in my head that I shouldn't, but in my heart, I did. I was just glad that Wanda wasn't here because lord only knows how I would have felt if I had to face her.

It was mid-afternoon. The guys were all busy working on the building. The kids had just gotten out of school and were most likely doing homework. The ladies were probably taking some 'me' time. I entered the house and was greeted by Rachel, Nadine, and Kim who were all nestled in the living room watching General Hospital. Afternoon soap operas were still a staple among the souls. Violence generally was not a part of soap operas, but love and jealousy were, and they fed off of the fresh emotions. Maybe that's why Wanda was having such a hard time dividing her love for Ian and her love for me. It seemed like a plausible excuse. After all, look at me. How many women was I bedding? Jesus, my life is a fucking soap opera!

"Hey sleepyhead!" Kim called out. "Nice to see you back!"

"Need to take a shower and wake up," I said as I bolted for the bathroom. Locked. _What the fuck?_

"Maria's in there," Rachel announced.

"Great," I said sullenly.

The door opened and Maria stepped out. Her eyes met mine, and then they, too, went to my neck.

"Nathan," she sounded just like my mother.

"Maria." I paused a few beats as our eyes locked on each other, and then I pushed past her and locked myself in the bathroom. _Shit!_ I tried to reason with myself. She knew I would be with Nadia, right? It's not as if it should have surprised her. She didn't seem surprised. Disappointed. No, not even that. It was the look of disapproval. _Fuck!_ I showered, shaved, and slathered a layer of makeup over my hickey. It wasn't working all that well. I was glad that I at least had the forethought to bring a button down shirt with a collar. I could hide most of it under the collar.

I put on the shirt and looked in the mirror. _Fuck. _It looked like I was trying to hide a hickey. The make-up was obvious. If I had been a girl, it might have been different, but I wasn't, and I don't wear make-up. Screw it. I washed off the make-up and put my shirt on. If anyone asked, I'd just have to tell them that I got lucky. All guys get lucky sometime, don't they?

I stepped out of the bathroom as the guys were knocking off for the day. Burns and Ian had just entered the house. I jetted into the kitchen in the hopes of avoiding a conversation with them. They followed me in.

"Hey, glad to have you back!" Burns called out.

"Yeah, we missed having you on the job with us," Ian added.

"Sorry, the gypsies were low on supplies," I replied as I stuck my head in the refrigerator looking for nourishment since it was too late for lunch and too early for dinner. I saw leftover meatloaf. I grabbed it along with a jar of mayo. I toasted some bread while Burns and Ian sat at the table drawing up a shopping list for supplies.

"I'm going into Irving to see if I can get some of this stuff, so we can continue tomorrow on the wiring," Burns informed me.

"Good," I replied as I finished slapping my sandwich together.

"That looks good," Ian replied. "Can I get one?"

"Sure, take this one." I handed him the plate and started the process again. I took my sandwich and sat at the table.

Ian looked up at me as I was about to take a bite of my sandwich.

"Holy shit! You got laid!"

I could feel my face heat up. "It was just a one night stand," I said defensively.

He smiled. "You have a piece of ass with the gypsies."

"I was drunk all right? It shouldn't have happened."

"Is she pretty?"

"She's pretty enough."

"Nate's got a girlfriend," Ian blurted out.

"No, Ian, I have no girlfriend. I don't believe in commitment."

His smile faded. "So, you're saying that all you wanted to do was fuck my fiancée, and then you were going to turn her loose? What kind of fucking player are you?"

"No, that wasn't the plan, and I don't want to discuss my feelings for  
>Wanda with you."<p>

I got up and stormed away from the table, threw my plate in the sink, and hightailed it to my room. I was surprised that Ian didn't follow me, but I figured that Burns had stopped him and diffused the situation.

I stripped the bed and put clean sheets on it. I threw all my laundry into a basket and headed to the root cellar. I started my two loads of laundry and sprawled out on one of the cots. I was nearly asleep when I felt a nudge. I opened my eyes to Kim.

"Hey there, stud," she crooned.

"I'm not a stud."

She laughed. "It's all over the mountain about your little girlfriend with the gypsies."

"I don't have a girlfriend. I just got lucky, that's all."

"Too bad. I was really hoping you might have given up on this 'soul' thing."

She opened the washer, pulled my clothes out, and placed them into the dryer. I did the same with the other washer.

When she finished, she leaned against the folding table. "I was thinking of getting pregnant again."

"Really?"

"Well, Ian has got the kids playing ball, and Max and Miranda will have a real school soon. I always wanted a son."

"If that's what you want, then I think you should do it. What does Tom think?"

"He says he'd love to have a son, but he's not so sure about bringing a baby into this world."

"Well, you have Priscilla."

"That's what I said." She paused. "He reminded me that Priscilla was conceived before the takeover, and she was only a baby when we came to the cave."

"It's a lot to consider. I can't even commit to a girlfriend. The thought of raising a child is just scary to me."

"Did you use a condom when you slept with that girl?"

"I always use a condom." Except the time I knocked her up, but Kim didn't need to know that. I think I have some pretty strong swimmers. I let out a little laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing." I was thinking that if it weren't for condoms, I'd have children all over this damn mountain.

She ran her fingers through my hair. "I guess the sex was good."

I tried to contain my smile. "It was—all right."

She punched my arm lightly. "All right. I'll see you at dinner."

Kim left, and I blew out a deep breath. The repercussions of this hickey were going to be brutal. I was so looking forward to the responses from Nadine, Rachel, and Gina. I could handle Rachel and Nadine.

The rest of the evening wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I got a few comments, mostly from the guys, who gave me high fives because they thought that celibate Nate finally got his groove on. The women were a little more close to the vest about what they were feeling. Most of them kept their comments to themselves.

I decided to retire early. I wanted to catch up on some reading, and the truth was I didn't feel like partying. The tequila had done me in.

I had just turned out my light when I heard a gentle knock on my door. I knew who it was, and I didn't want to deal with her, but I also knew I would only be putting off the inevitable. Another knock. I turned on the light.

"Come in."

Gina entered and shut the door behind her. "Hi," she said meekly.

I was sitting up in bed in my T-shirt and boxers. "Hi," I replied.

"So, you had a good time with the gypsies."

"What do you want me to say to that? Yes, I had a good time."

"Why did you call me?"

"I don't know."

"You didn't sound drunk. Did you call me before you slept with her or after?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that, so I went with the truth. "Sorta in between."

She sucked in her upper lip.

"Don't cry on me."

"You cheated on me," she squeaked.

"I'm not your boyfriend," I said flatly.

"You said that you loved me."

"I do."

"Then how could you sleep with her?"

I don't know why, but something inside of me snapped, and the words came spewing forth from my mouth faster than I had the mind to stop them.

"Oh, you are one to talk. You tell me that you love me, and then you ditch me for Evan. How is it fucking him, huh? Do you think of me when you're fucking him?"

"No, I try not to think of you because most of the time when I'm fucking him, I'm wishing it was you!" she shrieked.

At that moment, I wanted her. I wanted to rip her clothes off and claim her, and that is exactly what I did.

I threw the blanket off the bed, and in seconds, I was on her. My lips encompassed hers.

"Tell me again that you love me," I whispered as my lips grazed the nape of her neck.

"I love you," she cooed as she pulled my T-shirt up and off of my body. I pulled off her shirt and her shorts quickly, and I shoved her onto the bed. My dick was already hard, and then I remembered that I didn't have any condoms.

"Shit!" I hissed.

"What? What's wrong?" she asked obviously alarmed at my rage.

"I don't have any god-damned condoms!"

"Just pull out!"

Everything was fast and furious. I rammed my hard-on into her and began to rub my face on her beautiful breasts, licking them, sucking them, enjoying them. Enjoying her. She had meat in all the right places. She wrapped her legs around me and hung on for the ride. She had a grip on my hair, and she was moaning.

"That's it, Nathan. That feels so good." She was taking quick breaths in between each sentence. "You've spoiled me for other men." Quick breath. "That's why I love you." My brain was working in overdrive. With Nadia I had complete control of my actions. It was all about pleasing her, but with Gina, it was all about me. I was in some sort of time warp. Nothing seemed real. When the moment came for me to cum, I realized it just a few seconds too late. I was already spewing sperm when I pulled out. How much had shot into her, I didn't know.

"Fuck!" I cried. "Damn it!" I cried as I rolled off of her.

"What?"

"I got you," I lamented. "I think I got you fucking pregnant!"

"It's okay. I told you I don't think I _can_ get pregnant. And even if you did, I'd be very happy!"

"Don't you get it? I don't want children! Did you do this to trap me?"

The look on her face went from one of compassion to complete horror. She said nothing. She picked up her clothing off the floor and began to put them on. _Fuck! Good going, asshole!"_

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." I got off the bed and tried to hold her.

"Don't touch me!" She was beyond angry. She was pissed.

"Gina, let me apologize."

"You know what? If, by some odd chance, you _did_ knock me up, I'll just tell Evan it's his. Case closed. Good-bye, Nathan Downey!"

She slammed the door as she left the room. I stared at the ceiling. "Why me!" I pulled my hands down my face stretching my cheeks in anguish. I didn't know what to do. Should I go after her, or should I do nothing at all? It was obvious that I didn't want a relationship with her. I just wanted her to love me.I am such a selfish bastard!

I climbed into the bed and pulled the blanket over my head. My intentions were to never come out.

The banging on my door woke me up. It was obviously a guy, probably Evan here to kick my ass for fucking his girl and then breaking her heart. _Shit! _At least, with Evan, it would be a fair fight. I was at least going to be ready for him. More banging.

"What?" I hollered.

"It's Ian. You coming to work today?" he yelled from the other side of the door.

I wrenched the door open. "Since when am I your employee?" I snapped.

"Whoa, dude! See what happens when you get laid? As soon as it stops, you get cranky. I know, I've been there."

"Fuck you!" I swung the door closed, but he caught it and came in anyway. I went back to my bed and climbed in.

"Come on, Nate. I thought we were building a relationship here."

"I don't do relationships, remember?" I hissed.

Ian sighed. "Look, I know you have feelings for Wanda. And I'm sorry I teased you about your gypsy girlfriend."

"She's not my fucking girlfriend!"

"Okay! Just come back to work. You'll feel better, I'll feel better. You'll have a sense of accomplishment."

I drew in a deep breath. "Fine. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Okay, if you're not, I'm coming back, and I'm bringing reinforcements. I don't need anyone thinking that I kicked your ass."

I cracked a smile. "You gotta love Maria."

"Yeah, she's a real joy."

"Ten minutes. I'll be there."

Another week went by, and Ian and I worked our asses off along with the rest of the guys on the building. We bonded as a team. It was late afternoon when Burns's phone rang. Burns yelled for us all to quiet down, so he could take the call. It was the authorities in Ford's Station where the campground was. Burn's had just recently spent the night looking for human's, but came up empty handed. He had gone alone, and I was upset about it.

There was a lot of 'yes's', 'I see's', and 'I understands' before he finally hung up. "Humans have been spotted at the campground. The local police are afraid to go in there because they believe these humans are armed, and frankly our local constables are not properly trained in this type of thing. They think there are only two, but it's hard to tell. If I can't get in there and get them, then they are going to bring in the cavalry, and that won't be good for us. I don't want that many seekers in our neighborhood because if they find two, they'll branch out looking for more. I have to go."

"I'm going with you," I said flatly.

"Nate, I don't want to put you in danger."

"I know how to shoot a gun. I'm not letting you go alone."

Ian piped up, "I'm going, too."

"If we took one more, we could search in shifts," I pointed out.

"I'll go," Tom said.

"No, Kim will be pissed enough that I'm going. I'm not going to put the added stress of her husband getting killed. You can be in charge while  
>I'm gone."<p>

Evan stepped forward. "I used to practice with Nate. I know how to handle a gun. I'll go."

"What about Gina?" I asked.

"I'm not married to her."

I looked at Burns. Burns nodded.

"Okay then. We have our four. We leave tonight right after dinner."

We finished up early for the day, so we could prepare for the trip. I went back to my room to get clean clothes for my shower, and I found an empty box of Tampons on my bed. In red magic marker, it said: Fuck you! Asshole!

_Crap. _I wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, but instead my stomach tightened up, and I felt nauseas. I had the distinct feeling that my relationship with Gina had reached an end.

I showered and changed. I met the others in the kitchen, and we packed food and drinks. At the truck, Maria arrived and wished us all a safe return. Gina was wrapped around Evan like a snake. Kim also made a show to say good-bye.

"You be careful. We need a king around here," she said and she hugged me tightly.

Rachel showed up with Rob which surprised the hell out of me. Rob gave us each a manly hug, but Rachel only hugged me. It was a good hug, too. She smashed her boobs into my chest and held me tight for a good minute.

"You make sure you come back. The mountain just isn't the same without you here."

I glanced over at Gina, and she was glaring at me. I think she was hoping I would die on the trip. Well, maybe not death, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have minded me taking a shot to the nuts.

We were enroute to the campground when my phone and Burns's phone went off simultaneously. I handed my phone to Ian knowing his line would be Wanda.

I could hear him tell Jamie that we weren't at the Mountain. It was obvious when Wanda took the phone.

"Hey, Babydoll."…"We've got some trouble."…"Burns got a call from the police in town. It seems the same campground that had the troubles before with the humans is having trouble again. They have spotted two humans scavenging. They can't get near them because they believe they are armed. They told Burns that if he can't round them up in the next week, they are going to call in the big guns. We don't need that."…"Burns asked me to go, and even if he didn't, you know I would have gone. It's me, Burns, Nate, and Evan." That was a lie. Ian volunteered of his own volition. No one was directly asked to go.

"Yes, we are fully armed, but we are hoping we won't have to use them."…"I know you don't. Either way, I should be back when you come home. The bad thing is you can't call me. You will have to wait for me to call you."…"No. We will be out in the woods. A ringing phone won't exactly help us. Promise me you won't call."…"Okay. I'll be shutting the phone off then when I am in the woods if I can't trust you. This is dangerous, Wanderer. Think about how dangerous we humans were to you when you first came to us. Think how dangerous _I_ was to you."…"I love you more."


	25. Chapter 25

**So, I've talked to a few people about ending this story and from those that answered, it seems they like the story. I, personally, like it too. I love Nate to death even with all of his flaws. He's real.  
>I was planning on making this story twice as long as A Soul's Hope—we'll see. <strong>

**In the meantime, I am going to attempt another story in another section of Fan Fic. I am hoping to be able to handle both at the same time. Wish me luck!**

CRACK SHOT

07/02/2002 – I'm hunting humans. I'm sitting in the back of the truck and I'm supposed to be sleeping, so I can take the next shift tonight at six PM. It's hot as hell in here though, so I'm not really able to sleep.

We arrived last night and did a sweep of the area. Then, Burns and Ian both slept for four hours until dawn and we all did another sweep of the area. We found nothing. At noon, I took the first sleep shift. At three, Evan will join me. At six, I will relieve Burns. At nine tonight, Evan will relieve Ian. Six hour sleep shifts, with two out in the woods at a time. The two in the woods will have the phones. The plan is to keep them on vibrate and use them to alert each other of movement.

This is a dangerous mission if we come across the humans. Burns was told that the humans we are seeking are armed. I'm hoping that these humans will see that _we_ are human, and everything goes smoothly. We've been out here since last night, and so far, we haven't seen a thing. The problem is the police know they are out here. If we don't catch them soon, they are going to send in seekers and they will canvas the area, and that could be bad for us on the mountain. We need to catch these people.

Oh, and my fear that I knocked up Gina has been laid to rest. Unfortunately, so has any hope of any kind of relationship including friendship. That sucks.

"Nate, wake up. It's six. Ian is out there. I'll take you to him." It was Burns. Evan was next to me. He rolled over and yawned. "Go back to sleep Evan, you've got another three hours." I climbed out of the truck. I stuck a semi-automatic in the back of my pants against my spine and tied a section of rope to my belt loop in lieu of handcuffs. I followed Burns to the place where Ian was sitting. Burns explained the night time procedure as Ian and he had worked it out.

"He walks ahead of you about fifty feet. When he stops walking, you start. Only one is in motion at a time. You stop when you are about ten to twenty feet behind him. Then he walks another fifty feet. You do this in a wide sweep until you come back to this point."

"What if we can't find this point? It's black as shit out here at night."

"There are markers that are easily distinguishable even in the darkness. You will be moving through the campground. Keep track of where the cabins and the dumpsters are. They are your markers. Each sweep takes about a half hour. When you reach the dumpster area, you will each hunker down for a half hour before continuing on. You should do five to six sweeps during your watch."

I nodded my head. It didn't take long for us to reach Ian. I had grabbed a sandwich and a gator-aid for him since I knew he hadn't eaten in a while. As soon as I spotted Ian, Burns turned and left. He hadn't slept in thirteen hours. I knew he must be tired. Ian had another three hours to go. He opted to go last because he wanted to keep his promise to Wanda. He would have to make it a quick call because we would need the phones in the field.

It was still daylight when we did our first sweep. It was easy to spot the landmarks that Burns mentioned. I wasn't sure how easy it would be once the sun went down. Time passed slowly when we weren't actually moving. The only things we saw in the first sweep were crows and a few buzzards circling high. The second time, the sun sat low in the sky. By the time we got back to our spot in the woods, it was Ian's turn to head for the van for some much needed shut-eye. Evan arrived about fifteen minutes later apologizing because Ian made his call to Wanda. I knew he was going to make the call, so I let him know it was no sweat. He brought me a sandwich and a drink, just as I had done for Ian. We were on watch for the next six hours together. I wanted to make the next sweep while there was still crest of light to the west. By the time we reached the cabins in the campground, the moon had come out. It was a half moon, and the stars shone brightly. As I sat in my hiding place watching for any movement, I daydreamed about making love to Gina under the stars in the special room with a view in the cave. I was so angry with her, but she pushed my buttons until my jealousy forced me upon her. Now, she hated me.

At midnight, Burns joined us. I wouldn't be going to the truck until three AM. We figured that since we all had six hours sleep; we could go nine hours between shifts, so there would always be three of us in the woods. We made two more sweeps and during the second, we heard sounds and everybody froze. I had my hand on my gun when a lone coyote approached the dumpster and sniffed around. He was hell bent on trying to get into the dumpster. Burns picked up a rock and threw it at him, hitting him in his side. The coyote yelped and ran off.

Three AM finally came, and I looked forward to crashing. Ian was snoring lightly in the back of the truck.

"Hey, buddy. Time to wake up. It's my turn to dream about Wanda."

"Real funny."

"Oh, it's not funny. It's some serious stuff. Me and Wanda lying in bed, her sweaty exhausted body draped over mine."

"Shut up!"

He climbed out of the truck, and I backed away.

"Don't forget your gun—and food for the guys," I reminded him.

"Let me take a piss first."

It was chilly, and the sleeping bag was warm from Ian's body heat.

"Hey! You didn't fart in this thing, did you?"

Ian came back, grabbed his gun and the food, turned, farted into the back of the truck, and slammed the doors shut.

"You're gross, you know that!" I bellowed.

It didn't take long for me to pass out.

It was light out when Evan woke me.

"Okay, I'm up!" I mumbled.

Evan climbed into the truck next to me and pulled out a Gatorade. He chugged it down.

"I wonder how Gina's doing?" he said out loud.

"I'm sure she's just fine. Probably plotting ways to piss me off."

"What is up with the two of you? Are you screwing her?"

I was cranky, and I wasn't in the mood to be interrogated.

"What if I was?" I scoffed.

"I'd have to shoot you," he said scornfully.

"I guess I get to live another day then." I crawled out of the truck and slammed the door.

Two hours later, we were all sitting in separate spots. Burns was to my far left and Ian was to my right about twenty feet away. I had my head propped against the tree bored to death when I heard it. The sound of someone walked swiftly through the leaves. It was a kid. He looked to be about ten years old. He whipped out his pecker and took a piss. I looked over at Ian, and he looked at me and nodded. I wasn't sure he could see him because his back was up against a tree as well, and the kid was just behind him. I looked over to where Burns was. He signaled in the other direction. He saw someone, too, but it wasn't the boy. I nodded, and I could see Burns trying to make a wide circle around whoever was on his side. I signaled to Ian, and we both pushed ourselves into a standing position against our respective tree trunks. I indicated to Ian the height of the kid by using my hand as a marker on my chest. Ian nodded. The boy finished urinating and turned slowly. Our eyes caught for an instant, and he started to run. He was heading right for Ian.

"Now!" I yelled. Ian bolted out from the tree to stop him, and a shot rang out. The boy stopped. We both saw Ian's face go blank, and he crumpled to the forest floor. _Shit! _I was frozen in place.

"Get the boy!" Burns yelled out.

Another shot rang out as the child turned to run. I tackled him to the ground and rolled over, so he was on top of me. I used him as a shield.

"Tell them we are human!" I yelled to him even though his ear was only inches from mine. "We don't want to hurt you!"

I pulled the kid to his feet and wrapped my arm tightly around his neck. Ian was lying close by, but he wasn't moving. I backed up to the tree, so I was protected on both sides, by the kid in front and the tree in the back. I grabbed his face and twisted it, so he could see mine. "Look at me! I'm human. Tell them. If you kill us, there will be seekers all over these woods. They won't stop until they hunt you down one by one and discard your useless bodies. They won't put a soul in you. You will be dead!"

"Good. I'd rather die!" he cried out.

"Why die when you can live? Tell them we are human."

"Danny!" A voice called from the underbrush.

"Sissy. I'm okay! They're human!"

Suddenly, Burns's voice came from my far left. "We are here to save you. It's not safe here. The souls are gearing up to send in an army to clean out the campground."

I was relieved to hear Burns's voice because I was afraid the second shot was meant for him. I honed in on Burns's voice, and he signaled for me to keep them talking.

I spoke as Burns moved silently towards the voice.

"He's telling you the truth. We have ways of finding out these things. They are mobilizing even as we speak. In another day, they will be crawling through these woods."

Silence.

"Please, Ian is down. He may be dying. We need to help him. I'm taking your brother with us. Are you just going to abandon him?"

She stepped out from behind a stand of small trees, rifle pointed in my direction.

"Drop your gun," I called out.

"How do I know you won't kill my brother?"

"If I was going to kill him, I would have done it by now. There's still three of us—and only one of you."

She lowered her gun. Suddenly, I heard her scream. "I got her!" Burns bellowed.

"How many others?" I asked the boy.

"None, it's just me and my sister."

"Are you telling me the truth? Burns will kill her if you're lying."

"Yes!" he cried out.

Evan ran up behind the tree I was backed against. "I heard the shots!"

"Bring her out!" I called to Burns. "The kid says it's only the two of them."

"Here, tie him up for me. I need to check on Ian." I pushed the boy to his knees. "Lie down. We just need to immobilize you, so you don't run off on us. A minute later, Burns came out with his arm wrapped securely around her neck. She was still cursing and fighting him, even though he had her hands cuffed behind her back with the cuffs that he alone carried.

I knelt carefully next to Ian. His face was pasty white, and there was a lot of blood coming from his abdomen. I rolled him gently onto his back and carefully lifted his blood stained shirt to get a better look. It wasn't good.

Ian moaned in obvious pain. "It fucking hurts," he muttered.

In the background, I could here the boy's sister screaming. "You lied! You fucking parasite. Kill me! Kill me now!" she demanded.

I turned towards her in anger. "Shut up! You stupid bitch! We are trying to save your ass!"

She spit at me. I wanted to beat the shit out of her.

"Nate," Ian called softly.

I turned back to Ian. "I'm sorry. This is my fault. I shouldn't have made you grab him."

"You couldn't have known they were aiming at me," he said barely above a whisper. "You'll take care of Wanderer? She loves you, you know." He closed his eyes in an effort to handle the pain.

"She loves you, and she needs you. Hang in there, man. We have drugs in the truck."

Evan approached me. "Nate, we need to take the prisoners to the truck, so Burns can get the meds."

I looked up at Evan. "Okay. Give me a minute."

Burns stepped forward. "Ian doesn't have a minute."

He was right. A minute could mean the difference between saving him or losing him.

"Hang tight. I'll see you shortly." I forced a smile on my face, but I felt like I wanted to throw up. A few weeks ago, when Ian tried to kill me, I would have wished him dead, but since we began working together with a common goal, we had come to place a huge amount of trust in each other. In my eyes, he was a part of my clan, my family. I didn't want to bury him, and I couldn't fathom the devastation Wanda would feel. One minute a bride, the next… I stood and ran to catch up to Burns. He finally had the girl under control. I took the boy from Evan. Burns handed Evan the short rope attached to the woman who had pulled the trigger on my friend.

I allowed the boy to walk on his own. His hands were also tied behind his back, and he was no match for me. Burns leaned close to me and spoke low. "Call Wanda. She'll take it better from you. I'm going to run to the truck for the meds.—And knock them out when you get to the truck."

"Sure." I was in a daze. Burns was calm, cool, and collected. He turned and ran at a sprint towards the truck.

"You are a traitor!" the woman growled.

"We are not traitors. We are in hiding just like you. We just have a few souls who sympathize with our plight and choose to help us."

"You are brainwashed."

"Shut up and walk." I shoved her forward which was no easy task. She was taller than me by a good three inches. I'd say she was about six foot of raw muscle. They both looked like they hadn't done anything that resembled grooming in a long time. They made the Gypsies look pristine.

I sighed deeply and pulled my phone from my pocket as we walked slowly to the truck. I punched Wanda's number into the phone because I knew it would take longer than using the contacts, and this was a call I didn't want to make.

"Hello?"

I decided to get straight to the point. "Wanda, it's me, Nate. Ian's been shot."

There was a few seconds of silence. "What? Where is he?"

"We had to leave him."

"What do you mean you had to leave him?"

"We were tracking two humans. One was a boy. Ian was about to grab him when he was shot. I got the kid. There was a stand off. We had to use the kid as a bargaining chip to get her to put down the gun."

"Wh-what do you mean her?"

"It was his older sister. She's in her twenties, I guess. She shot him through the trees at fifty yards!"

"Nate, is he…?"

I didn't want to sugar coat it and give her false hope. "He was alive when we left him. Burns is running to the truck to get the 'Heal'. Evan and I have the prisoners, and we are bringing them back to the van. He's hurt bad, Wanda."

She spoke to Sunny without putting down the phone. "Sunny, go back to the caverns."

I was about to break down, and I had a prisoner to deal with. "Look, I have to go. I'll call you when I have more news."

"Nate, No!"

I hung up.

I took a few deep breaths to fight back the tears, and I saw Burns running back in our direction with the meds.

"Hurry!" I begged him.

When we got to the truck, I pulled the chloroform from the corner and doused the rag.

"What are you doing?" the female demanded. "No!" She kicked at me and tried to run. I knocked her to the ground and fell on top of her. "It's easier this way," I explained, as I shoved the rag in her face. She continued to struggle until the chloroform took effect.

"Victoria!" the boy cried out.

"She'll be all right," Evan assured him. "He just knocked her out."

I stood up and approached him. "Sorry, kid." I pressed the cloth to his face, and in a few seconds, his body went limp. Evan and I loaded the two unconscious bodies into the back of the truck.

I decided to walk back to Ian. I got about fifty yards when my phone rang. It was Wanda. As I picked up the phone, I could see Burns and Ian coming through the trees.

"Hello?"

"Nate?"

"Wanda, I see him coming. He's okay." I felt great relief knowing I could give her good news.

"I know. I just spoke to him. He still has the bullet in him. Please keep a very close eye on him and call me if anything changes. And I mean anything! I can't go through the agony I felt when I thought he was gone again."

"All right, I'll call you if anything changes. I have to go." I hung up and rushed over to help Ian to the truck.

I got up under Ian's armpit and helped him to the truck.

"I'm okay," Ian replied.

"Wanda told me you still have the bullet in you."

"Yeah, but I'll be all right. I just need a little sleep."

It was true that Ian hadn't slept in over twelve hours. He had to be exhausted. We approached the van, and Evan stood up revealing the two sleeping prisoners. Ian saw for the first time the Amazonian female who had nearly taken his life.

"Wait, you didn't get the guy?" he asked.

"No, guy. It was her. She shot you."

"I was shot by a woman?"

"Yeah, at fifty yards. She coulda been SWAT."

"Well, I'll be damned. First you at the pool table and now, this."

"Let's hope we can turn her to our side," Burns remarked. "Get in the truck on the sleeping bag. You need to rest. I have Wanda bringing Doc to the mountain, so he can remove that bullet. You need to be very careful. No swift movements. Okay?"

"Sure. I'm allowed to sleep, right?"

"Sleep would probably be best."

Ian climbed into the back of the truck and sprawled out on the sleeping bag with the pillow. Evan sat up front with a hat and sunglasses. I crawled in between Ian and the prisoners. I propped myself up against the tool box that spanned the width of the truck. I placed my hand on Ian's shoulder.

"I'm glad you're still with us."

Burns pulled out of the campground, and Ian fell asleep pretty quickly. I hadn't felt this guilty since I knocked up Nadia. I pulled out my phone and called Wanda.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me, Nate."

"Is Ian all right?"

"Yes, he's asleep here with me in the back of the truck. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry about what happened. I feel like it's my fault because I was the one who told him to grab the kid."

"I'm sure it's not your fault, but I do wish you would tell me what happened."

"Evan was asleep in the truck. Me, Ian, and Burns were tracking the humans when we spotted them. We thought we had a man and a boy. We split up to try and surround them. We had them on the run. I could see the kid hiding behind a tree very close to where Ian was. I signaled to Ian as to where the boy was and I called out for him to grab him. Ian didn't take more than two steps before the shot rang out, and Ian was down. The kid ran in my direction, and I tackled him. I pulled the boy to his feet and used him as a shield. We still thought the shooter was a guy. It wasn't until she spoke, and the boy called her 'Sissy' that we realized it was a girl. She called out to the boy to make sure he was okay. He's the one who told her we were human. Burn's stayed hidden. He didn't show himself until after she came out and dropped her gun. Man, she was pissed when she saw him. She fought him even though he was holding a gun, and she was strong. This girl is about six feet tall. Burns had quite a struggle just to control her and get her to the truck. I tried to check on Ian, but I had to deal with the kid. I hated leaving him there bleeding like that."

"Nate, I don't blame you. I know if there was anything you could have done; you would have."

"That's just it, Wanda. I can't help but wonder if I would have. So many times, I've wished that he was out of the picture."

"Don't even think that. You would have. I'm sure of that."

It was quiet for a moment. "Well—he's sleeping peacefully right now. I promise to take care of him, Wanda. I love you, and I know that he is your world."

"Thank you, Nate. I love you, too. Never forget that."

"I won't let you."

"Make sure Ian calls me when he wakes up."

"Okay, bye."

It was quiet in the back of the truck. I had served up my pity party. Wanda said she still loved me. That was something. Now, I had to focus on the newcomers. This female was hard core. Sleeping in the root cellar would be no picnic. Ian couldn't do it. Burns certainly couldn't do it. That left me. I would have to deal with the Amazonian female SEAL. I thought of the possibility of bringing in a female to diffuse the situation, but I was afraid, 'Victoria', as I had heard the boy call her would grab her around the throat and use her as a hostage. Plus my female of choice would be Gina, considering she has so many of her own horror stories that could be used to prove that we, and the mountain, were a safe haven for her. Then again, the conversation could turn to us and lord only knows what that might lead to…probably a scream fest between Gina and I. No. It would be best to have Evan stay with me. They had already met him anyway. Gina would obviously be pissed. Well, it would be fun to push her buttons for a change.

I gave the prisoners another light dose of chloroform as we pulled into the campground to keep them down while we prepared the accommodations for them. Burns swung the back door to the truck open as Kim and Gina came flying out of the house.

Gina ran to Evan and flung herself into his arms. Kim looked at the bodies in the back of the truck. Her eyes immediately went to Ian who was soaked in blood.

"Oh my God! Is he…?"

"No, we healed him, but the bullet is still lodged in his abdomen," Burns explained.

Kim looked at me. I, too, was stained with blood from helping Ian to the truck. "Nate? Are you…?"

Gina's eyes focused on me, and she stared into my eyes in horror. "I'm fine. This is Ian's blood."

They both drew in a deep sigh of relief.

It was time for me to take command again. "We need to get Ian into the house. Ladies, can you go and make up four cots in the root cellar?"

Kim answered. "Of course, Nate, right away." She turned to Gina. "Come on." The two of them took off in the direction of the cave to get the bedding needed for four cots.

"Evan, stay with the prisoners. Keep them sedated for now while Burns and I get Ian into the house."

Evan nodded in agreement, and I leaned forward to try and wake Ian.

I shook him gently. "Hey, buddy. Wake up."

He took a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes. "Where am I?"

"We're home. You think you can walk?"

"I suppose."

"Take it slow. Burns and I are here for you."

I helped Ian sit up. He looked over at the drugged prisoners.

"She almost killed me."

"If it wasn't for the 'heal', she _would _have killed you," Burns pointed out. "And you are still not out of the woods."

"I thought we were home?" Ian said with a straight face.

I smiled. "At least you still have a sense of humor."

We helped Ian to his feet and escorted him into the house.

"Bath or bed?" I asked.

"Shower," he answered.

As we entered the bathroom, I addressed Burns. "You got him? I need to attend to the others."

"Yeah, I need to sleep, too. As soon as he's settled, I'll be showering and hittin' the hay."

"Okay."

I ran back to the cave to get some clean clothing for myself in the hopes that I would be able to take a shower at some point, and I ran into Rachel. She was on her way to the house in the hopes of taking a bath. She took one look at me and freaked.

"Oh my god! Nate! What happened to you?"

"Ian was shot. This is his blood. We captured two humans, a woman and a boy."

"What about the guy who shot Ian?"

"Wasn't a guy. It was the woman. She's got great aim. I'm just lucky she wasn't aiming at me, or I might not be here."

"Is Ian…?"

"No. He's alive, but he's still got the bullet in his gut, and we've got Doc from the caverns coming to get it out before it kills him."

I turned away from her because I could again feel the tears pooling in my eyes.

"Oh, Nate." She turned me towards her and pulled me into her arms. "He'll be okay." She pulled back and looked in my eyes. "Does Wanda know?"

"Yeah."

I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her neck. It wasn't sexual. I was distraught, and I needed comforting. Unfortunately, Gina rounded the bend and saw what she interpreted as a public display of affection, and she went ballistic.

"Get your hands off of him!" Gina shrieked, and she physically pushed Rachel away from me.

"What the hell is your problem?" Rachel shot back.

"My problem is you pawing at Nate like he was your boyfriend."

"He's my friend and he's been my friend for a long time—not that it's any of your business."

"I heard about your affair," she snapped.

"Ladies!" I interrupted the tirade. "I have a man who is still in danger of taking a very bad turn for the worse, and a couple of humans who are like ticking time bombs. I am not worth fighting over. Please, save your passion for the men you love."

I kissed Rachel on the cheek. "Thank you for your compassion. I needed the hug."

I turned to Kim and Gina. "Kim, I need those cots ready. I want our guests behind locked doors before they wake up. The female wields a lot of strength and a whole lot of anger."

"Who is staying with them?" Kim asked.

I sighed. "Me and Evan."

"Evan? No!" Gina blurted out.

"Gina, it's an order, not a request. Please, deal with it."

"I hate you! You know that?"

"Yeah, I know." I turned and marched off towards the cave with Rachel at my side.

"I thought you were going to take a shower?" I asked.

"Well, I thought I'd walk with you. I don't really feel like dealing with psycho Gina. Who the hell made her the relationship police?"

"I don't know. I don't have time to worry about it." If Rachel knew the truth, she would know this was all about  
>Gina's jealousy of me. I was glad that Rachel was under the impression that Gina was protecting Rob.<p>

She followed me into my room and sat on the bed while I gathered together the things I needed. Two sets of clothes, toothbrush, hairbrush. I rubbed my face as I tried to think of what else I needed and realized I was sporting a two day beard. It brought back the instant memory of Nadia. I didn't shave during the time that I was there, and I had a three day beard when I returned. I briefly thought about her. I hoped she was doing all right. I picked up my electric razor to throw onto the pile, and Rachel took it from me.

"Come here." She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her.

"Rachel, I don't think…"

She interrupted. "I'm just going to shave your face. You are too pretty to hide behind that beard."

She clicked on the razor and began to shave me. I stared into her eyes, but she didn't stare into mine. She was concentrating on the stubble. When she finished, she ran her hand on my face checking to make sure she had done a good job.

"There, you look better already."

"How come I don't feel better?"

"Because you are worried about Ian, and that is very noble of you considering he almost killed you."

"A noble man would not sleep with a friend's woman," I pointed out.

"Maybe that noble man is more loyal to the woman's friendship than her mate."

"How do you manage to make me look like a good guy?"

"I just shaved your face. The good guy is hiding underneath."

I couldn't help but crack a smile. I kissed the tip of her nose. "Thank you."

I grabbed my laundry basket from the corner and dumped out the dirty clothes onto the floor. I dropped all the items I had gathered into the basket and topped it off with my journal, a book, and my pillow.

"That should do it. Hey, do you have any clean clothes I could borrow? The woman who shot Ian is really tall, but she looks to be about your size. I don't think she's had a real shower in a very long time. I think we need to trash the clothes she's wearing."

"Sure, I'll see what I have."

"Okay, I'll check with Hector. Dean is probably closest to the boy in size."

I picked up my laundry basket and took Rachel by the hand. I led her out of the room and of course, Rob was standing outside my room. Obviously, Gina had ratted to Rob and probably told her god knows what.

"What are you doing in there?" he demanded.

"I'm helping Nate."

"Helping him do what?"

"Oh, for crissakes!" I bellowed. "You want a reason to fight? I'll give you a reason to fight." I dropped my laundry basket, grabbed Rachel by the shirt, and pulled her to my lips. I planted one hell of a kiss on her, tongue and all. She desperately tried not to kiss me back, but she lost the battle, and her lips gave into to me. I pulled back after about ten seconds. "There! Now you can have a fucking battle royale!" I picked up my laundry basket and stormed away, still mumbling under my breath. "I got one man fucking dying, and a six foot bitch ready to kill us all; Gina losing her rock happy mind. I haven't slept in nearly twenty-four hours, and I got to put up with this shit! You've got to be fucking kidding me."

By the time I got to the house, I was calmer. I dropped my laundry basket outside the bathroom door before I realized that I completely forgot about Hector. I peeked into Burns's room and then Ian's room. They were both asleep. I went to the truck. Evan was still sitting with the prisoners.

"When is the last time you dosed them?" I asked.

"A while ago."

"Good, let them wake up. Have you seen Kim?"

"She's with Gina in the root cellar. By the way, what did you say to Gina? She called you an asshole."

"Tell your girlfriend to…" I thought better of it. I shook my head. "Never mind." I was going to be locked up with Evan. I didn't want to spend it arguing with him over Gina. I needed to show Victoria and her brother that we live peacefully on the mountain. The smart thing for me to do right now would be to stay away from both Rachel and Gina.

I marched to the root cellar. Kim and Gina were inside. They had just finished making up the cots.

"Kim, would you please go to the house and get four glasses and a pitcher of iced tea?"

"Sure thing. Are you planning on taking a shower anytime soon?"

"In a minute. I need to talk to Gina."

Kim shot a look at me and then at Gina. "Okay," she said, and then she left and closed the door behind her.

"I can't believe you are fucking Rachel!" Gina cried as soon as Kim was gone."

"A. I'm not fucking Rachel." Okay, it was a lie. But it was only the one time…this year. Whatever. "B. If I was, it's none of your fucking business! You have a boyfriend! You had your chance. You chose him! And C…"

Gina looked like she was going to cry, and it diffused some of my ire.

"C?' she asked.

"Don't ever say you hate me unless you mean it. I still love you, and I care about you, and it hurts me to hear you say you hate me. Now, I've had a really shitty twenty-four hours, and I'd appreciate it if you'd try to show just an ounce of compassion."

"I'm sorry, Nate. I just get so crazy jealous…"

I rushed to her and engulfed her in my arms. "I don't try to make you jealous, but sometimes I need attention, too, and Rachel, well—we do have a past and sometimes we draw on that to help each other." I stroked her hair as I held her. "I get jealous, too. I guess we still have a thing for each other. That's good, right?"

"I suppose."

"Okay, I'm going to take a shower. Go hang with Evan. Once he and I get locked in here, we'll be in for the night. You won't see him until tomorrow."

I took a long hot shower, and it felt great. It helped to relax me, and I left the bathroom feeling rejuvenated. I headed back to the truck. Evan and I tied our two guests to frame of the truck, so they couldn't bolt once they woke up. Evan took off for the shower. Evan asked Gina to get clothes for him, and I asked Gina to find Hector to see about clothes for the kid. I also told her about Rachel and the possible war that I sparked between Rachel and Rob. I still needed those clothes for Victoria. I had no idea what Gina might be walking into, but I hoped they would be civil to each other. Hope was all I had at this point. Shortly after Gina left, Victoria rolled over.

I figured the tender approach would probably be the best way to go. Lord only knows when the last time she felt a gentle touch. I brushed the hair away from her face.

"Victoria, can you hear me?"

"Danny. Where's Danny?"

"He's right here. He's still out. He'll be coming around soon."

"I thought you were going to kill us."

"No. We only kill if absolutely necessary. Our mission is to bring humans to a safe haven."

"I need to go to the bathroom."

I chuckled. "Well, Evan's in the shower, and he's got a pretty jealous girlfriend. You promise not to check him out?"

"I just want to pee. I'll squat in front of the damn truck."

"No squatting. Come on."

I untied the rope from the truck and wrapped it firmly around my wrist.

"Come on. You'll like the bathroom. All the women do."

"How many women are there?"

"Hmm...let's see. There's Maria, Aunt Sue, Miranda, Kim—she's my sister, Rachel, Gina, Holly, Nadine. Megan and Sarah are teenagers, but they still think they are women. And Priscilla, she's my niece. Wanda is Ian's fiancée. She's on her way from the caverns. There's another clan that lives there. It's bigger than our clan. We approached the bathroom door, and I knocked. I opened the door about eight inches.

"Evan, Victoria needs to use the restroom. Do you mind?"

"Sure, I'm done, but I'm waiting on Gina to bring me clothes."

"Well, throw a towel on. I don't need Gina pitchin' a fit because she thinks I'm tryin' to pimp out her man."

"Okay, come on in," he called.

"Um—maybe you should wait in the living room. I'll stay with her."

We entered the bathroom and Victoria stopped dead and stared in astonishment.

"This is a bathroom? I could live in here."

I chuckled. I uncuffed her hands. "I've heard that before. Now, I want to turn my back, but you need to promise you aren't going to hit me in the head."

She didn't answer me. Instead, she rushed to the toilet, ripped her pants down and sat. I immediately turned towards the door.

As she finished urinating, she spoke. "I hope you aren't going to stand there if I have to take a crap."

"That's up to you. Normally, I would have someone standing outside the window in case you decided to make a break for it, but unfortunately, you've incapacitated one of my strongest men, and the other is exhausted."

She walked over to the sink, and I turned to watch her to make sure she wasn't going to do anything crazy. She looked into the mirror. She put her hands on either side of the sink, and she let her head fall. I couldn't be sure, but I thought she might be fighting back tears.

"We have lice you know," she exclaimed woefully.

"Great. I don't have enough problems; I get to have a lice treatment. Oh, joy."

"You think it's easy living in the woods like a wild animal?"

"No, I have a tremendous amount of respect for you and your marksmanship. Where did you learn how to shoot like that?"

"When we first went on the run, my father brought us to an abandoned munitions silo. We practiced every day. My brother is pretty good at it, too. It's just that we only have one gun now."

"I see—and you father?"

"Dead."

"I'm sorry. Let's get back before your brother wakes up. I don't want him to think something happened to you."

She started for the door.

"I need to cuff you, just until we get you into the root cellar.  
>It's just a safety precaution."<p>

She placed her hands behind her back. I cuffed her and led her out of the bathroom. Gina was guarding the kitchen door, so Evan could get dressed.

"Gina, did you get the clothes I asked for?"

"Rachel is bringing them."

"I'm sorry. Gina this is Victoria, sharpshooter extraordinaire. Victoria, this is Evan's girlfriend, Gina."

"The guy in the towel?"

"That would be the one. He'll be bunking with us in the root cellar."

"You never told me your name."

"I'm Nathan Downey, Nate for short. I run this place most of the time."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Never mind." I looked over at Gina. "I need Evan A.S.A.P."

I escorted Victoria out the back door, and as soon as we got to the bottom of the steps, I could hear the boy calling out to her. He was tied to the truck, and he couldn't go more than a few feet. Victoria ran for him, and I kept pace with her. She cuddled up to him and rubbed her face against his.

"I'm okay. How are you doing?"

"I was afraid they hurt you."

"No, they just took me to use the bathroom."

"Sit. I can't manage the both of you at the same time, so I have to wait for Evan."

About five minutes later, Evan and Gina approached us.

"Gina, say good-bye to Evan. They have lice, and I am trying to keep the infestation to a minimum."

"That means you both will get it," she surmised.

"C'est la vie. I'll have Burns go out and get the shampoo tomorrow, and I'll see if Rachel can help me out."

"You want me to tell Rachel?"

"I don't know. How are things with her and Rob?"

"I don't know. I didn't see Rob."

"Terrific. Would you please tell Rachel that I would like to speak with her, and also, I need Carl to stand guard of the door to the root cellar for me?"

Gina looked confused. "They're humans."

"Humans that almost killed Ian," I reminded her.

"Oh."

"Oh, and I also need to see Holly."

"What for?"

"Jesus, Gina. Can you just do as I ask without the twenty questions?"

"Fine!" She stomped off.

I turned to Victoria. "Does that answer your earlier question?" I turned to Evan who was busy watching Gina walk away in a huff.

"I got her. You take the kid."

Evan didn't argue. He untied the boy and walked behind me and Victoria to the root cellar. Victoria balked when she saw the underground room. "What is this? A dungeon?"

"Technically, it is our laundry room and lately, it's become the game room since we got the pool table in the house."

"What is this place? A camp for wayward humans?"

I smiled at her. "It's home."

She stepped cautiously inside with me following close behind. She stopped short and allowed her eyes to adjust. She spotted the four bunks and the lone table. I immediately realized the pummeled bloodied walls would be enough to freak me out if I was in her place.

"This _is_ a dungeon," she cried.

"I assure you, it's no dungeon. I'm sorry about the walls. This is Ian's blood. He and Wanda had a problem, and Ian has some anger issues. I guess he felt punching the wall was better than punching the woman he loved. As for you staying here, it's just a place for you to adjust to your new surroundings until we are sure you aren't going to try anything stupid—like running. If you get caught and they put a soul into you, it could jeopardize us all."

"What if we don't want to stay?"

"Look, I'll make a deal with you. You stay with us for three weeks. If, after that time, you do not wish to stay with us, I will personally drive you far enough away for you to hopefully not be able to pinpoint us if you were captured."

She didn't answer me. I opened the cuffs. "Look, I don't want to do this, but I need to cuff you to the cot."

"I can pick up the cot you know."

"True, but you will be moving a lot slower."

"What's to say I don't smash the cot, and then stab you in the throat with the splintered wood?"

I got queasy just thinking about the fact that she would be capable of such an action.

"Look, I don't know about you, but I am exhausted. I'm going to crash for a few hours. I'm sure they will wake us for dinner." At that moment, there was a knock on the door. Carl entered, followed by Holly.

"Gina said you wanted us?"

"Yes, these are our new guests. Victoria, and I'm sorry, I don't know your name," I said looking over at the boy.

"His name is Daniel," Victoria replied.

"Daniel," I repeated. "This is Carl and Holly."

They all looked at each other in acknowledgement, but nothing was said between them. I was tired, so I got straight to the reasons why I needed each of them.

I looked to Carl first. "The guns are in the truck. I need you to secure the weapons and then stand guard at the door, so Evan and I can get some sleep. I'm hoping our guests will sleep as well. If by chance, they choose to kill us in our sleep, shoot them both."

Both Carl and Holly stood poker-faced. We had never harmed anyone on the mountain, which is why my horrific beating from Ian was such a surprise to the clan.

"Holly, I need someone to keep an eye on Ian for me. He has a bullet in him, and although Burns healed him, he feels that until we can get that bullet out, Ian is still very much in danger. Burns was going to college to be a doctor before the takeover, so I can only assume he knows more about this stuff than I do. I want you to keep a close eye on Ian, and if he shows any sign of weakness, fever, or instability, you find me or Burns immediately. Other than that, keep him on the house."

"Can he walk?"

"Yes, but I would prefer it if he remain as immobile as possible till Wanda and Doc get here."

"I'll do my best Nate." I smiled at her because I knew, like my obsession for Wanda, she was carrying a torch for Ian, and she would do anything to keep him alive.

The two left, and I heard the key turn in the lock. I finally lay back in my cot, and I was out for the count.


	26. Chapter 26

**I hope everyone is having a good Labor Day weekend. I've been doing what I love most—writing. I've taken on a new project since I am now awaiting the publisher to send me a physical copy of "For the Love of Brynn" in the mail. Once I receive it, I will be one step away from being officially published….but I digress.**

**I have been using my free time forging into a new area of FanFic. Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series. I am going to post the first chapter tomorrow. For now, I will only be posting that story once a week, so I can stay on track with Nate's Diary. I hope to hear from you!**

**Oh, and one more thing, if you don't log on and review anonymously, tell me who you are! I got 2 reviews this chapter by people who I think I know through FanFic, but I'm not sure who they are!**

VICTORIA

07/03/2002 – Yesterday, I was hoping to find the humans without resorting to violence. My wish did not come true. Unfortunately, Ian took a bullet that, by all rights, should have killed him. Ironically, only the miracle drugs of the souls, who put us in this predicament in the first place, were able to pull him from death's door. But not before his lover and fiancée, Wanda, was led to believe that he did die. If I put myself in her place, I can't fathom the depths of depression I would feel to lose her.

Ian, although healed on the outside, could still be in imminent danger if the bullet in his gut should shift and pierce an organ or if infection spreads throughout his body. Wanda is supposed to go back to the caverns and bring Doc to us, so he can surgically remove the bullet. I just don't know how far she was from the caverns when she got the call.

Usually, I'm the calm one, but right now I feel a bit nauseous. I look over at the sleeping Victoria, and I worry that she might not fit in with our clan. Maybe the anger she harbors will put our trusted souls in danger. She's incredibly strong. Burns had a hard time controlling her, and with the exception of Ian, he is the strongest on the mountain. I cannot control her with brute strength. I am going to have to use my charm, wit, and the threat of a gun to keep her at bay.

I had words with Gina, and it seems there is a very fine line between love and hate. She's still angry with me, but there is no denying that she still cares about me. It's possible that, like me, she fights with herself, trying to suppress those feelings we both have for each other. Sometimes, I want to kick myself for not snapping her up before Evan did, but then, I remember Wanda. I can't wait to see her.

I was exhausted, but I had so much on my mind that I couldn't sleep, not the least of which was the thought of Victoria stabbing me. I pulled my journal from my laundry basket and wrote for a bit. A light knock on the door interrupted my thoughts and my writing. Carl opened the door.

"I'm sorry to wake you, but dinner is being served. What would you like me to do?" Carl asked.

"What are we having?"

"Lasagna."

"Well, we already have iced tea. Could you possibly get word to Maria to make up four plates and have someone deliver them to us?"

"Sure, do you mind if I go eat?"

"Just make sure you lock the door behind you—and see if Tom is willing to take over for a few hours."

Victoria rolled over in her bunk and stared at me.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.

"I'm always hungry. Food is scarce in the woods. Why do you think we were raiding the campground?"

"Well, we have some excellent cooks here."

Daniel rolled over. "Sissy?"

"I'm here."

"I dreamed I was sleeping in a bed. A real bed."

"It's just a cot, Dan, but I'll admit, it is much more comfortable than the ground."

"And we have pillows!" he sounded excited. It's amazing how the little things we take for granted here on the mountain can mean so much to someone. "I have to go to the bathroom. Should I go in the corner?" Danny asked.

"NO!" I said loudly. "I'll have Evan take you to the house. Can you hold it for just a few minutes?"

"I think so."

I shook Evan. He was a deep sleeper. I knew this from experience. We had gone together on trips before, and he was always the last one awake. "Evan, wake up."

I had to shake him again.

"What?"

"Dinner is coming. Lasagna."

"I'm up."

Everyone loved Aunt Sue's lasagna.

"I also need you to take Daniel to the bathroom."

"Okay," he grunted as he sat up in the cot and tried to come to his full senses.

A few minutes later, I heard the door unlock. Burns and Rachel stepped in each carrying a tray with two plates of lasagna, garlic bread, and utensils.

Victoria, who had been sitting with her legs dangling over the edge of the cot, now stood and pulled the cot into an upright position, ready to use it as a weapon if necessary. Daniel, who was not cuffed to his cot, jumped from his perch and ran behind his sister.

"Relax, Victoria. Burns won't hurt you."

"He's a parasite. They only want one thing, a nice warm body they can stick their friends into."

"We are his friends, and I assure you; I'm not about to give up my body to anyone."

"You can't trust him."

"I am the leader of this clan. The others take orders from me. I trust him with my life." She didn't look convinced.

"Burns, are you carrying a gun?"

"Yes."

"Shoot me."

"What?"

"Shoot me, that's an order."

"Nate, I'm not going to shoot you," he replied.

"But I gave you a direct order."

"I'm not going to shoot my best friend—or anyone else on this mountain for that matter."

"What about her?" I said, pointing to Victoria.

"I don't want to shoot anyone."

Evan interrupted the conversation. "I'm going to the bathroom. Daniel, are you coming with me?"

Daniel slid out from behind his sister. Evan took him by the arm and left the root cellar. I returned my attention to Burns.

"Okay, then kiss Rachel."

The look of horror came over both of their faces.

"You see? They dislike each other," Victoria said abruptly.

"Burns, why won't you kiss Rachel?"

"I don't want to cheat on Lily, and I'm pretty sure Rachel wouldn't want to cheat on Rob."

"Don't look at it as cheating. It's an order from your leader."

"Come on, Nate," Burns pleaded.

"Jesus Christ, I'm just trying to show her that you aren't a threat. Do you want _me_ to kiss you?"

"NO!" Burns said in horror.

"Yes, I'd like to see that," Rachel said simultaneously.

I cracked a smile at Rachel. "You would."

Burns sighed. He wrapped his arm around Rachel's waist and pulled her to his chest. "If I kiss you, you need to kiss me back, or it will feel like I'm forcing myself on you."

"Just pretend it's Vegas. What happens here stays here. Go for it," she replied.

Burns pressed his lips to Rachel. He closed his mouth over hers, and she responded. At first, her hands were dangling in space around his head, and then she grabbed his face and kissed him but good. She shoved her tongue into his mouth and kissed him for about ten seconds before she pulled away.

"Wow. I kissed a soul," she said licking her lips.

Burns released her and backed away. "Thanks, Nate. Now, I feel like shit. How the hell do you do it?"

"Got your heart racin' huh? Yeah, Rachel can do that to you."

My eyes met Rachel's, and she knew that I wished it had been me in that lip lock. Unfortunately, that would have proved nothing.

"I'll be guarding the door until nine. Tom said he'll takeover after that, so I can get some sleep," Burns announced.

"I thought you slept?"

"It's kind of hard to sleep when your bedroom wall is adjacent to the kitchen."

"You could have slept in my room."

"You know I don't feel comfortable in the cave."

"What cave?" Victoria asked.

"I'm gonna go," Rachel interjected before I could explain the cave to Victoria.

"Me, too," Burns replied. "I'll just be outside if you need me."

"Thanks, guys." Then, I remembered the lice situation. "Oh, Rachel."

"What?"

"It seems our guests have a lice problem. Tomorrow, do you think you can shampoo us all and maybe do some magic with your scissors?"

She looked at Victoria's rat's nest of hair. "Absolutely. I love a challenge."

"I'll go in the morning to get supplies," Burns added before leaving the root cellar.

"So, what about this cave?" Victoria asked again as she reset her cot and sat down.

"Eat your food, and then I'll tell you all about us, and how we ended up here on the mountain."

Victoria waited for me to taste my food. Once I swallowed my first bite, she spoke. "Can I have yours?"

It took me by surprise. "Do you think we would poison you?"

She picked up her plate and put it on the folding table. "I'm not hungry," she stated, and she lay on her cot with her back to me.

"Suit yourself, but it's really good."

"I'll die of starvation before I allow you to poison me."

She was such a hardass. I took another bite. "Mmmmm!" I got up and walked to the other side of the cot, so I was facing her. "Come on, Victoria. You can have mine if you want." I cut into the lasagna and scooped some onto the fork and ate it. Then, I scooped another forkful and held it out for her. She reluctantly opened her mouth, and I carefully slide the fork to her lips. I could tell just by the look on her face that I had just given her a bite of heaven. "It's good, right?"

She sat up slowly. "It's better than my mom's."

"Here." I handed her the plate.

I grabbed her plate and sat next to her on her cot. We ate in silence. A minute later Daniel and Evan returned.

"Sissy, did you see the bathroom? It has a Jacuzzi!" he was clearly excited.

"Yes, I saw it," she said calmly.

"Evan said I can take a bath in it if I want."

I hated to spoil his excitement. "I think you should take a shower first, and tomorrow, we'll give you a good haircut, and then you can use the Jacuzzi."

"Can I get a buzz cut?" he said wild eyed.

"Sure, if that's what you want."

Satisfied with my answer, he dug into his food. I looked over at Victoria's plate and noticed that she was just about done with the lasagna, but she hadn't touched her garlic bread.

"You gonna eat that?" I asked pointing to the bread.

"Touch it, and I'll stab you with my fork," she said vehemently.

I smiled at her. "Are you going to stab me in the jugular or the hand? Aunt Sue's garlic bread might be worth a little nerve damage."

The corners of her mouth curled slightly giving the hint of a smile.

After we ate, I told the story of my family, how they came to be on the mountain, and the events that led up to Burns saving me from the well. Victoria seemed more at ease now.

"How would you like to take a shower? Rachel brought some of her clothes for you to change into. You are about the same size."

Victoria looked down at her tattered jeans. "Yeah, except that she's about seven inches shorter than me. Her pants will come up to my calf."

"She didn't bring pants. She brought shorts. It's summer, right?"

Victoria stood. "What about Danny?"

"He can go after you." I uncuffed her from the cot and cuffed her to my wrist.

"Are you gonna shower with me?" she asked as I clicked the cuff to my wrist.

"Do you want me to?" I said, cracking a sly grin.

She looked me up and down. She was checking me out. She sighed and stared into my eyes. "I would, but then I'd have to kill you."

"Ah, the black widow," I joked. I picked up the basket and pulled out the clothes that Rachel had given me, shorts, panties—not to sexy, a knit top, and a bra. I looked at the bra, and then I looked at Victoria. She wasn't exactly well endowed. She was rather flat-chested for a woman of her stature.

"Yeah, leave that here," she said snidely as she tossed the bra back into the basket.

I tried unsuccessfully not to let the corners of my mouth twist into a smile.

"Shut up," she huffed.

"Come on, Xena," I said as I walked towards the door. A quick knock and Burns opened it.

I walked Victoria into the house and directly to the bathroom. It wasn't that I didn't want others to meet her, but I would have rather it was after she showered and looked more presentable. I showed her where all of the toiletries were and reminded her that whatever brush she chose needed to come with us to the root cellar. I uncuffed her and left the bathroom.

Nadine, Megan, and Sarah were in the kitchen finishing up the dishes. I checked each of them out to see who, if any, might be the same bra size as Victoria. Although Nadine was small breasted, she still looked a tad too big for Victoria. Forget Megan, she was well proportioned for a young girl. I'm sure Jamie was grateful. Sarah was thin. She fit Victoria's proportions best.

"Sarah, sweetheart. I have a favor to ask of you."

She turned to me, and she was beaming. "What?' she cooed.

"Do you think you could donate one of your bras to our new arrival? I think she is about your size."

Sarah stuck her breasts out. "I just went up a cup size. I'm a 'B' now. I can't believe you noticed!"

I was stuck. I didn't know what to say to that. If I denied looking at her breasts, she would be disappointed. If I admitted it…_Jesus._

"You know, if you kissed me, I would let you touch them," Sarah announced.

I shook my head. "I am not going to kiss you, Sarah."

"Be that way!" she said in a pouty voice.

"Nate likes them a little bigger—about Wanda size," Megan crooned. "Don'tcha, Nate?"

All this breast talk was becoming too much for me among these three young ladies, and my face burned bright red at the thought of touching Wanda's breasts.

"Look, Nate's blushing!" Nadine pointed out. Then she laughed and taunted me. "Nate is blushing!"

Now I was getting perturbed. "Do I get the bra or not?"

"Yes, I'll bring it to you, later," Sarah answered.

"Bring it to the root cellar."

I stormed out of the kitchen. A group of both adults and children were sitting in front of the TV watching a comedy show. Blake and Carlos were playing pool. Holly came out of the bedroom and quietly shut the door behind her.

"How is he?"

"He's still asleep. I'm worried."

"How's his color?"

"His color is all right, and he doesn't feel hot. His breathing is steady."

"Well I know when Burns healed me after my run in with Ian, I was very tired."

"I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight—if that's all right."

"That's fine. Thank you, Holly."

She was the one person that I never quite felt comfortable touching. I think it was because if Gina saw it, she would probably jump to the wrong conclusion and dealing with Gina's jealousy was difficult enough without throwing her rival into the mix.

I stood up against the wall with my arms and feet crossed in front of me. I watched about ten minutes of the show before Victoria finally poked her head out of the bathroom. The first thing I noticed was her nipples. They were erect, and my dick's response was to mimic her nipples. _Shit! I hate when that happens._

The second thing I noticed was her legs. She had three feet of long slender legs. _Wow…wrap them fuckers around me and I'll show you a good time._

"Victoria, would you like to meet some of the family?"

She stepped out of the bathroom and held a folded towel tightly across her chest. She obviously wasn't comfortable with the headlight effect.

"This is my sister, Kim, and my niece, Priscilla. She is the youngest and the prettiest female of our clan members." I scooped Priscilla into my arms. "Give me some sugar." She kissed my cheek, and I put her down. "You remember Carl. This is his sister, Sue. We call her Aunt Sue. She made the delicious lasagna for dinner."

"Nice to meet you. Dinner was delicious," Victoria said politely.

"That young man over there is Ben. He is the youngest male member of the family. His mother is Nadine. She is in the kitchen with Megan and Sarah finishing up the dishes. The boys at the pool table are Blake and Carlos.

Blake shot a two finger wave. He was being very cool about the whole thing. The three ladies exited the kitchen, and I introduced Victoria to each of them.

"I guess I should get you back to the root cellar, so Danny can shower." I held out my wrist with the cuff on it indicating for her to give me her wrist.

"Is that really necessary?" she asked.

"Humor me, please?" My gaze caught hers and held. Now that the dirt was gone, I could see that she actually quite pretty. She had beautiful cheekbones.

At that moment, Burns entered the back door. He shot a look at Victoria and then to me. I knew that look. It was the 'I'll get condoms on my next trip look'.

"Tom is on watch. I'm going to bed. I would appreciate it all of you would keep the noise down to a low roar."

Several people shouted out, "Good night, Burns."

Victoria and I walked silently to the root cellar. We came upon Tom guarding the entrance, and I introduced him to Victoria as my brother-in-law. Evan and Daniel left as soon as we arrived. We were alone. It was awkward to say the least. I wondered if my erection had been noticeable to Victoria. Some women noticed that shit, and some women were oblivious. I didn't know what kind of woman Victoria was.

"The shorts fit you good," I said quietly.

"They're kinda short for my taste."

"Well, you have great legs."

"I'm surprised you noticed. You practically bore a hole into my chest when I came out of the bathroom."

I could feel the heat in my face. "Sorry about that. I'm a guy. What can I say?"

She lay down on her cot and stared straight up at the ceiling.

"Do you have laws on the mountain?"

"What do you mean by 'laws'?" I asked.

"Like, if a woman gets raped—does she have a leg to stand on?"

"What are you—Wait a minute. If you think…" At that moment my phone rang. It was Wanda. "Hold on. I have to take this."

"Hello?"

"Hi, Nate. How are things?"

"Well, we got back, and we had to wake Ian to get him in the house. He tried to call you, but you must have been in the caverns. He's asleep again. I'm in the root cellar with Evan and our new friends."

"So, is Burns watching him?"

"No. Burns was exhausted. He hadn't slept in twenty four hours."

"Then who is watching Ian?" she demanded.

"I've got Holly sleeping on the couch. She said she will watch over him."

"I know Holly has her own agenda, but tell her I said thank you anyway. We're on the road, and we're driving straight through. We should be there by tomorrow evening."

"Okay, I'll see you then. Be safe."

I disconnected and stared at Victoria. "Why would you think I would rape you?"

"You said you are in charge around here. You made Rachel kiss Burns. How do I know you don't demand sex from these women, and they feel obligated to give it to you because they know if they don't, you'll just take it anyway without fear of retribution?"

"I assure you I would never lay a hand on any female without their consent."

"Well, you looked at me like I was lunch."

"I'm a guy, and your nipples were hard. Am I supposed to ignore that?" I couldn't help but think back to the mines, and the fact that Aleksander used the exact same excuse about looking at Nadia.

The door opened, and Daniel and Evan stepped into the room. All conversation ceased at that moment.

"I'm going to sleep," I rolled over and faced the wall. I was pissed off. I was angry that I had allowed my own selfish pleasures rule my emotions. I was angry that I used the same piggish excuse as Aleksander, and I was most angry that I was just like Niko—looking at her and getting excited. Wanting her.


	27. Chapter 27

**So, I posted the first chapter of Plum Crazy from the Janet Evanovich series. The problem is, from what I can see, everyone in Evanovich land is a Ranger fan. I am trying to buck the system by writing a heart wrenching Morelli story. It's the Nate thing all over again. Everyone wanted Ian and Wanda together and couldn't even bring themselves to like Nate even though Ian and Wanda did end up together in the end. This story was written to show that Nate is not perfect but, Damn it! He's lovable. I hope the JE fans will appreciate my take on Stephanie Plum.**

HEALING PROCESS

07/04/2002 – Today is the Fourth of July. Once upon a time it was known as Independence Day for us humans. The souls celebrate it, but now they call it 'Summer Day'. It's just a reason for them to take off from work and enjoy a nice summer day with friends and family. They still shoot off fireworks because it's fun. Ridiculous.

I fell asleep angry. Victoria had managed to push my buttons by insinuating that I might have the notion to rape her. To add insult to injury, she said I looked at her like she was lunch. Now, I'm afraid to look at her at all. My only solace is that Wanda will be here today.

I haven't seen Ian since we got back yesterday. I only hope he is okay. I'll feel better once I see him. I don't want to be in this root cellar anymore. I need out.

I picked up my phone and punched Burns's number into the phone.

"Good morning sunshine. I'll be right there."

I looked at my watch. It was just after eight. I went to the door, and Burns was there in a minute. He opened the door, and I rushed out.

"Lock it. They're still asleep. I left my phone on the table. I need to see Ian. Is he up?"

"Yes, he's eating breakfast."

I hightailed it to the house and barged into the kitchen. Ian and Holly were sitting at the table eating scrambled eggs and toast.

"Ian, how are you feeling?"

"Well, good morning to you, too," he said with a grin.

"Have you spoken to Wanda?"

"No, it's still early."

"You need to call her. She called me last night, but you were asleep, and I was in the root cellar."

"Oh yeah, how is Rambo?"

"Rambo has lice. So, I guess we'll all be getting a shampoo today."

"That sucks for you."

"It sucks for you, too. You were in the truck with them. You have just as good of a chance to be infested as I do."

"Great."

I slapped Burns's phone on the table. "Call her."

Ian picked up the phone. "Later."

I grabbed a cup of coffee. "I'm going to work on the house. Burns is going into town for supplies. Evan can stay with our guests. I'll get Tom and Rob to help me. Carl can man the door."

"Let me work with you," Ian insisted.

"No! If anything happened to you, Wanda would kill me. I have enough females pissed off at me right now."

"Who's pissed off at you?"

"Rambo for starters."

"How in the world did you manage to piss her off?"

"She took a shower last night. Rachel's clothes fit her, but unfortunately, her bra doesn't."

"Not a lot of chicks could fill out Rachel's bra," Ian admitted.

"So, anyway, she came out sans bra, and her nipples were…"

"Oh shit. Tell me you didn't get a hard-on."

"She said I looked at her like lunch, and then she accused me of wanting to rape her."

Ian started to laugh.

"Stop laughing."

"Why? It's funny."

"Because you might hurt something! She's friggin' three inches taller than me, and she could probably kill me with her bare hands."

"But you'd still do her, wouldn't you?"

"Shut up. I'm going to work. Call your fiancée."

I left him sitting there laughing. I passed Gina on the way to the worksite. She was headed to the house, no doubt to see if she could catch a moment with Evan.

"Good morning," she trilled.

"What's so good about it?" I barked.

She stopped. "Nathan, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just go help Holly take care of Ian."

"It's not anything I did, is it?"

"No, you're perfect," I blurted out.

"Thanks."

I turned to walk away, and then I stopped. "Gina?"

"Yes?"

"Did I ever make you feel like you had to have sex with me because I was the leader?"

"What?"

"Have I ever forced myself on you?"

"No! Why would you even think that?"

"I don't know. Forget it."

"Did you force yourself on someone?"

"No, of course not."

"The new girl?"

"No. I've already got my heart torn between two girls. A third would be too complicated."

"Oh." She paused. "I guess you miss the girl at the mines."

"Gina, I…"

"Wanda's coming though. At least you'll get to spend some time with her. Maybe she'll kiss you again."

She hadn't considered that she was one of the two. I couldn't drag her into my fucked up world again.

"Maybe."

At that moment, Tom and Rob rounded the bend.

"Hey, Burns said you were working today. We're here to help."

"Thanks, I'll be right there."

I leaned in close to Gina and pushed a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. "You know the girl at the mines?"

"Yeah?"

"She wanted me to marry her. I told her I couldn't because I was already married—to you. They all thought I was cheating on you. Funny thing is I called you because I felt guilty."

"Oh." She nodded her head thoughtfully. "Why do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"You try to get close to me, and when I'm ready to cave and give myself to you one hundred percent, you say something to push me away. Then, when I think I might be able to get over you, you tell me something like this."

"I don't know. I want to let you go, I do. I just…"

Gina wrapped her arms around my neck, and I slid my hands around her waist.

She whispered in my ear. "You know what sucks?"

"What?"

"You won't allow yourself to realize that I am the one until after Wanda marries and Ian." She pulled away. "And then it will be too late because I don't deserve to be second."

She stepped back and turned to walk away.

I felt sick at that moment because she was right.

I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon busting my ass building the structure that would smash not one but two of my emotional ties to smithereens. Maria stopped by to announce that Burns was back, and he asked that dinner be served early, so all would be cleared away by the time Doc and Wanda arrived. We knocked off at three o'clock.

After my shower, I retrieved Victoria from the root cellar, so Evan could spend some much needed time with Gina.

It was nearly dinnertime. I allowed Daniel to run loose because I knew he would never attempt to escape without his sister. Besides, he was excited to sit and watch the TV. Victoria and I took a walk. I cuffed her to me.

We walked in silence at first. Finally, I broached the subject that had been weighing so heavily on my mind.

"I want you to know that I'm really bothered by what you said last night."

"Truth hurt?" she said dryly.

"Look, I'm sorry that I leered at you. I appreciate a great body, and you have a great body. Your breasts are smaller than I like, but your nipples in that top last night definitely had me sportin' wood."

"Gee, I'm so turned on," she said sarcastically.

I ignored the comment. "Having said that, I want you to know that emotionally, I am up to my eyeballs in fucked up 'almost' relationships."

She made a face. "What does that mean?"

"It means I'm obsessed with a woman, who is otherwise engaged, and I also love a woman who I can't commit to but seem to have great difficulty in letting go of." There, I said it. My life in a nutshell.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because, even though I think you are on the upward scale of hot, I would never force myself on you or any woman for that matter."

"You told me that last night. Did you think I didn't believe you?"

"You made me feel like a tyrant who had his way with young women! Most of the time, I'm just trying to make everything run smoothly. Then you come along and shoot one of my friends and turn this mountain upside down!"

"I didn't ask you to hunt me down. That was your choice! If you don't want us here, then just drop my ass off somewhere. Me and Danny will be fine!"

"I don't want to drop you off. I just want you to accept me for who I am, Nathan Downey. I'd give you the shirt off my back if you needed it."

She sighed deeply. "Okay." We walked quietly again. "Are you ever going to take this metal bracelet off my wrist?"

"Soon. I promise. When Wanda and Doc show up, all hell is going to break loose, and I'd rather not worry where you are. This way, I know exactly where you are. Is it that horrible being cuffed to me?"

"I'm not answering that question."

I creased my eyebrows at her. "Why not?"

"Because if I say 'yes', then you'll be all mopey again. If I say 'no', then you'll think you have a chance with me."

I huge smile emerged on my face. "You are so stupid."

"You know what's nice?"

"What?"

"Having someone around to call me stupid."

I stopped and undid the cuffs.

"Come on, Xena. It's probably dinner time. "

At dinner, Ian announced that he wasn't going to sit in the house for another minute. He told the boys that baseball practice was on. Burns and I both argued with him, but he was insistent on giving the boys their practice. He didn't look as good as he did this morning, and that worried me.

He rose to his feet to walk out the door, and the color drained from his face.

"Ian, I don't think you should do this," I pleaded.

"I'll be fine."

Burns stepped up. "I'll run the practice. Ian you can run it from the bench."

With that, we all marched out of the house. Rachel and Rob offered to stay behind in case Doc and Wanda arrived. Burns carried the equipment while I propped myself under Ian's armpit to help him walk. I still didn't feel that this was a good idea. Victoria walked next to me. I was glad that she was showing some loyalty to me, but I knew that if she was provoked and her anger surfaced, it would take Burns to subdue her.

I sat inside the dugout with Victoria. Ian opted to sit on the bucket that carried the balls, so he could shout out orders to the kids. Practice got under way, and the kids were very good about paying attention to Ian.

Victoria sat quietly observing the practice. I kept my eye on Ian. We had been there about a half hour when Burns, who had been hitting grounders to the infield, stopped abruptly and stared out at the outfield. I turned, and I could see Wanda running towards us. Ian rose slowly and began to walk in her direction. As she approached him, she slowed, and then she stopped just a foot in front of him. He picked her up, and she wrapped her lags around his waist. I didn't think this was a good idea either. He was weak, and I was afraid he might keel over with her added weight. It was hard to watch them kiss each other. I wanted so badly to kiss her, too, but I knew they needed each other right now. Burns was with them now to assist Ian back to the bench. Wanda followed and knelt beside him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and her eyes met mine for a moment and then shifted towards Victoria.

The next voice I heard was Victoria's. "Hell, you're in love with a parasite? I should have killed you."

Wanda's rage took over. She let go of Ian's neck and lunged off the bench towards Victoria. I popped up to block Wanda. She tried to get past me, but I grabbed her arms and pinned them to her sides. Then I maneuvered my arms around her until she was trapped in a bear hug. In the meantime, Burns moved quickly past me and grabbed Victoria from behind in an effort to restrain her.

My face was just inches from Wanda's. "Wanda, she'll hurt you."

"I don't care. Just give me one shot at her." She was still struggling to break free from my grasp.

I held her tightly. "I can't do that."

She cried out, "Why are you defending her?"

"Wanda, she was protecting her brother. You would have done the same if it was Jamie."

She raised her voice to a squeal. "She called me a parasite!"

I needed to calm her. "Look at me, Wanda." I stared directly into her eyes. "Look at me." She looked at me and our gaze held. "How many people love this parasite?" My lips curled up in a little half smile at the corners.

She relaxed. "Okay." She looked away in defeat. "I'm okay," she reiterated.

I released her.

Victoria sunk back into the wall. She sneered, "God, you love her, too?"

_Shit, is it that obvious? _Victoria was angry now, and I wasn't in a good position to keep her calm.

Ian looked pale. He hadn't moved during the entire ordeal. That was unlike him. Wanda turned to Burns. "Can we get him back to the house please? He doesn't look so good."

Ian protested. "I'm fine."

She took Ian's hand in hers. "Even Superman had his kryptonite."

"Wanderer, I'm fine," he sounded angry.

"Doc asked me to bring you back. Please?" She looked at Burns. "Help him. Please?"

I jumped up. "I'll get him. Burns is the only one who can control Victoria."

I put Ian's arm over my shoulder. Wanda came up on the other side and put her arm around his waist. He flinched, and Wanda moved away from him.

"You lied to me," she barked at him.

"I had to," he lamented.

Blake came running up and took Ian's free arm and placed it over his shoulder. Together, we practically dragged Ian back to the house. Jamie met us at the steps. "Doc said to bring him to the root cellar."

Apparently, Burns had called Sunny's cell and spoke to Doc about Ian's deteriorating condition. They were setting up for surgery in the root cellar.

As we approached, Kyle was coming out. He rushed to Ian and took over Blake's side. "Brother, you look like hell."

"Thanks," Ian muttered.

We entered the root cellar. Our cots we had used for sleeping were stacked in a corner. A cot was set up next to the folding table that doubled as the poker table. It was blanketed with a sheet and laid out with surgical instruments. Sunny entered carrying a large bowl of water. We helped Ian lie down on the cot.

"Everyone out!" Doc ordered.

Wanda grabbed Ian's hand. "I'm not going."

Kyle chimed in. "I'm not going either."

Doc rolled his eyes. "Fine! You two, over there…against the wall. The rest of you can wait outside." He turned his attention to Ian. "Ian, take off your clothes and cover yourself with the sheet. I'll be back in five minutes."

Blake and I left the root cellar quickly. Burns had Victoria by the upper arm. She didn't look happy. I approached him. "Let me take over."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Ian and Wanda are in the root cellar. Doc is going to operate. I'll take the kids back to practice, so they'll be out of the way." I turned to Victoria. "You're not going to beat the crap out of me, are you?" I said it as a joke, but I wasn't joking.

"For what? For being stupid?"

I knew she was referring to my feelings for Wanda. "Touché."

Burns left me standing with Victoria, and a minute later, the kids came bounding out of the house. Burns exited with Daniel at his side.

"I'm going to take him to the cave and see if Kim can shampoo his hair."

"I thought Rachel was going to do it?"

"She's playing pool with Rob. She said she'll cut it for him after Kim shampoos it."

"What about Victoria?"

"She'll go after him."

"Well, then she might as well stick with you then."

"No, if they are together, they could run. She won't run without him."

He had a point. I didn't think Victoria would run, but I couldn't take the chance. Burns was thinking logically.

"Okay, I'll take Victoria with me, and I'll bring her to the cave after practice."

"I don't need a babysitter," she huffed.

"I'd tell you to think of it as a date, but I wouldn't want you to jump to the wrong conclusion."

"Are you flirting with me?"

I shook my head. "Come on, Xena."

I did my best to run the practice, even though I couldn't be as tough as Ian. After an hour, I was anxious to get back to the house because I was worried about the outcome of the operation. I brought the practice to a close. I had Blake and Carlos carry the equipment back to the house while I walked Victoria to the cave. We found Kim shaving Danny's head as he had requested with Burns looking on. I said my good-bye and darted off in the direction of the house.

When I entered the house, it was full of people. Ian was playing pool with his brother, and he looked happy and healthy.

"Ian!" I called out.

"Nate! Look, I'm good as new!" he said as he lifted his shirt exposing a small scar where the bullet had entered.

"I'm glad to hear it. You had me really scared."

"Well, relax. I'm trying to beat the big guy in a game of pool."

"I call winner." I paused and looked around the room. "Where's Wanda?"

"Kitchen," Ian replied.

I made my way into the kitchen and stopped short when I saw Wanda crying. "Wanda, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she croaked through her tears.

I bolted out of the kitchen and headed straight for Ian. "She's in there crying!"

"What?"

"She's crying. I don't know why. I didn't do anything. I swear!"

Ian put down the pool cue and entered the kitchen. I thought I would give them a few minutes. Finally, I popped my head in the door.

"Is it all right to come in?"

Ian answered. "Sure, she's all right. Just a little overwhelmed by everything that's happened."

I creased my eyebrows. "I have an idea." I went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of champagne left over from the engagement party. "How about if we have a little drink to celebrate life?" I flashed a smiled at Wanda. "I hear you _like_ a little wine now and again."

She smiled but answered sarcastically. "Shut up, Nate!"

"You know you're still beautiful even when your face is all puffy and swollen like that."

Ian rubbed his eyebrow with his thumb. He was trying to hide his laugh.

She glared at Ian. "Now, you're ganging up on me."

Ian tried not to smile, but he was indeed smiling. "What? I didn't say anything!"

"What am I going to do with you two?"

Ian answered first. "Well, you're going to marry me!"

I chimed in. "I'm the stand by guy. I'll stand by you as long as Ian lets me."

She got off Ian's lap, walked over to me, and hugged me. "I love you both." I heard the cork pop on the bottle behind me.

"Get some glasses!" Ian called out.

I pulled two small fluted wine glasses and one big wine goblet from the cabinet. "This one's for you!" I teased.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Drink up babe," Ian said jokingly.

We retired to the living room and joined Doc and Candy, Rachel, Rob, Megan, and Jamie who were watching TV. Kyle and Sunny were monopolizing the pool table. Everyone was having a good time when Burns came in with Victoria. The room went completely quiet. Ian stepped out from behind Wanda and walked right up to Victoria.

He was right in her face, and he put his hand around her neck before he spoke. "I can forgive you for shooting me, but, if you ever call my fiancée a parasite again, or if you hurt her in any way; I will snap your neck. Is that clear?" He tightened his grip. Victoria tried to pull his hand off of her neck.

Wanda rushed towards them. "Ian, stop!"

Ian held his free hand out to stop Wanda, but he never took his eyes off of Victoria. "I said, is that clear?"

"Yes," Victoria squeaked out.

As much as I wanted to do some thing, I was frozen in place. I knew firsthand what it was like to be on the receiving end of Ian's wrath.

Ian released her. "Good." He took a breath. His face changed from one of rage to a smile. "Welcome to the mountain. I think you'll like it here."

Ian turned and put his arm around Wanda and led her back to the crowd. Victoria disappeared inside the bathroom.

Wanda leaned in to me. "Where is her brother?"

"He's at the cave with Kim. She's cutting his hair and giving him a treatment. They both have lice. They have been living in the woods for the last three years since their father sacrificed himself, so they wouldn't got caught. Victoria, she's a survivor, just like you. Burns is taking her to Kim next."

Victoria came out of the bathroom, and she and Burns left the building.

The evening ended early for Ian and Wanda. Before she went to bed, she wrapped her arms around me in a heartfelt hug. "Thank you for taking care of him. You're wonderful."

As soon as she disappeared in the bedroom, I grabbed Rachel and dragged her to the cave. I didn't want Kim cutting Victoria's hair. I knew Rachel would do a much better job. When we arrived, Kim was just finishing up the shampoo process. I encouraged Burns to leave, but he still didn't feel comfortable with me handling her with Danny in her presence.

Rachel was combing out her hair.

"Victoria, do you want to leave the mountain?" I asked.

"Why? I didn't do anything. You said we would be safe here."

"Come to me."

Victoria got up and approached me. I spoke low. "Burns still thinks you want to run. I don't know how to prove to him otherwise. I need you to help me help you."

"What should I do?"

"I don't know. Talk to him. Make him believe that I can handle you."

"Okay, but don't make more of this than it is." She turned to Burns. "Nate has been good to me. He's very sweet. I like him, and I trust him, and I hope he can trust me."

Burns looked skeptical. "All right, I'm going to take Daniel with me. He can sleep on the couch in the house."

"I don't want to sleep without Daniel by my side," Victoria replied.

"Take it or leave it," Burns said firmly.

Victoria looked to me in distress. "I thought you were the leader here. Do something."

I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I didn't believe that Victoria would betray me, but Burns was my best friend. How could I override his conviction? Then I remembered Sunny and Kyle. Three souls on the mountain. Only two bedrooms in the house.

"What about Sunny and Kyle? Where will they sleep? And what about Jamie? I can't leave him here in the cave all by himself."

Burns looked perplexed. "Okay, Sunny and Kyle can take my room. Jamie can take the couch. I'll sleep in the root cellar with the three of you."

"Thank you," Victoria said solemnly.

"I'm still going to take him with me. We need to let everyone know what's going on, and I have to set up the cots."

I stepped up and took Victoria by the hand. "Okay, we'll see you in a bit."

I went to my room while Rachel cut Victoria's hair. I grabbed a book for myself and another change of clothes. I picked up 'To Kill a Mockingbird', the book that Gina had returned to me. I sat on the edge of the bed and began to flip through the pages, and before I knew it, I was absorbed in the book. A quick knock on the door brought me back to reality.

Rachel opened the door. "She's done." Rachel held the door open, and Victoria stepped in.

"Wow." She was very pretty. Rachel had cut it into a bob. Victoria had a long beautiful neck. The haircut framed her face perfectly.

"You like it?" Victoria said meekly as she pulled her fingers through her mane.

I cracked a sly smile. "You sure you don't want to sleep here tonight?"

"You see? I told you he'd like it," Rachel quipped.

"This is your room?" Victoria responded.

"Yes, but don't get all excited. No one else has a room to themselves, except Maria. I'm not even sure where I'm going to put the two of you yet."

Rachel interrupted. "I'm going to bed, Rob's waiting."

"Good night, Rachel. Thank you."

"Thank you." Victoria reiterated.

We were alone, and I could feel my body aching to betray me. "Do you like to read?"

"I prefer to draw."

"Really? Are you any good?"

"Do you have a pencil and paper?"

"Sure, sit."

I retrieved a lined pad and a pencil from my desk. "I hope this will do. It's all I've got."

"Sit back on the bed and read. I'll sketch."

"Okay." I sat up against the headboard, and Victoria sat at the bottom of the bed with the pad in her lap. I began to read, and she began to sketch. About a half hour later, she showed me her creation.

"It's a little rough, but you get the idea."

I looked at the picture. "That's me!"

She smiled. "If I had more time and charcoals, it would be better."

"You're an artist?"

"I was going to school. I was a freshman in college. I went to an art academy in high school."

I lay on the bed on my side. "Here, lay down. Tell me about yourself."

Victoria lay on her side facing me, and we told each other all about our past lives before the takeover. At some point during one of her stories, I fell asleep.


	28. Chapter 28

**I just wanted to take this moment to thank those of you who take the time to let me know how you are feeling about the story…especially you, Alexandraa. Every time I read one of your reviews I am thoroughly entertained. You rock! **

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BURGEONING FRIENDSHIP

07/05/02 – Burns is pissed. He woke this morning in the root cellar to find that Victoria and I never made it there. His first instinct was fear. Fear that she had offed me and escaped into the night. His second was anger. I was pulled from my sleep by the words "You are such a male whore. I can't believe you seduced her, too." I may be a male whore, but the truth is I never touched Victoria. We just started talking, and we fell asleep. The funny thing is he didn't blame Victoria at all. Apparently, I was the only one who had the power to seduce.

Wanda and Ian are together. It's weird, but I feel happy for them. I mean, after all, he almost died.

As for Gina, I don't know what's going on with her. At the moment, I have our new guests to deal with, so I haven't had the time to think about her.

"Where is Daniel?" Victoria asked Burns.

"He's in the house with Jamie. I wasn't going to drag him here. Good thing, too."

"Don't be ridiculous. Nothing happened. I have no interest in Nate."

I was wounded. "Thanks a lot!"

"Can we please go to the house?" she replied.

"Sure, Xena. Come on."

We scurried off the bed and hurried to the house. Burns called out to me. "I hope you plan on coming to work today."

"Shit! We need to hurry."

"You know, I wish you would stop calling me Xena. You can call me Tori."

"Don't be offended. I have nicknames for all my girls."

"I'm not your girl, and what did Burns mean by that statement, 'I can't believe you seduced her, too'."

"He thinks I'm a player because the last girl we brought home seduced me in the bathroom."

"You're kidding. Who?"

"I'm not at liberty to say. It was just the one time. She has since found a man."

"It wouldn't be that hard to figure out. All I have to do is ask who the last female you brought home was."

"That is true, but I was hoping you might respect my wishes. Her man does not know about the encounter, and I wouldn't want to put any undue stress on the relationship since she seems to be happy."

"How come you don't have a girlfriend or a wife?"

"Commitment phobia."

"What about Wanda?"

"I don't know. It's a moot point considering she's engaged."

"Have you slept with her?"

"I wish."

At that point, we reached the house. Jamie and Daniel were sitting on the couch just as Burns had said. I pulled Jamie into the kitchen.

"It's not what you think," I said in my defense.

"Hey, I don't care who you sleep with," Jamie replied.

"We were busy talking, and it got late, and we fell asleep. End of story."

"Sure, sounds good to me."

"Listen, I need you to do me a favor."

"What?"

"Mow the baseball field. If you are going to spend time on my mountain, then you need to contribute."

"Okay, can I get some breakfast first?"

"Sure, Wanda will make you breakfast when she gets up. Then, you mow the field. Okay?"

"Fine!"

"I need to get to work. I'm already late. I'll see you later."

I passed Megan on my way out of the house.

When I arrived at the worksite, Ian called out. "You're late!"

Burns grumbled that I was busy trying to seduce the new guest.

"I wasn't trying to seduce her. We were talking about our lives before the takeover, and we fell asleep," I said adamantly.

"Well, if you had been the one to wake me instead of Burns, you would have gotten to see Wanda naked," Ian exclaimed.

My head snapped around. "What?"

Ian laughed. "Burns came into the room to wake me, and Wanda was lying there in her birthday suit without covers."

I looked at Burns. "You suck!"

"Shut up. She's like a sister to me," he shot back.

Ian let out a roar of laughter. "I told her not to worry 'cause I've seen Burns's girlfriend naked, too."

Burns looked at Ian and growled. "You're both assholes." He walked away and began putting up the insulation.

Ian, Kyle, and I were putting up sheetrock when Sunny arrived looking for Wanda. I had left Victoria in the house, and the fact that they were both missing did not go unnoticed by Burns and Ian. I tried to reassure them that Victoria wouldn't hurt Wanda. They reluctantly took my word considering I was probably closer to her than anyone. Ian asked Sunny to bring Wanda to the building as soon as she found her.

An hour later, Wanda arrived with Sunny and Victoria in tow.

"There you are. Sunny told me you left town," Ian exclaimed as she entered the building. He was holding a large piece of sheet rock in place as Kyle and I hammered it in.

"I was doing laundry with Tori."

Ian looked up in surprise. "So, you're okay."

"Of course."

When the piece of sheet rock was secure, he approached Wanda and put his arms around her and kissed her. "So, what do you think?"

"You're talking about the building right?" She giggled.

He smiled. "Yes, I'm talking about the building."

"It's fabulous. I can easily fit the tables I need in here and still have enough room for a dance floor."

"Whoa. You expect me to dance?" He raised his eyebrow.

"I can dance," I called out.

"Yeah. I've seen you dance," Ian responded. I knew he was referring the almost kiss in the root cellar that he had interrupted.

"Superman, I promise I'll teach you dance before the big day." She surveyed the room. "I wish I had some chalk."

Burns answered. "We have chalk line. Will that work?"

"What's chalk line?"

Burns showed her what it was and how it was used. I noticed there was no mention of Burns's accidental voyeurism.

"I can measure out a six foot round table and place an 'X' on the floor to mark the space it would take up."

Ian corrected her. "Make your 'X' eight feet because you need to include the chairs."

"Right."

We went back to work while the ladies marked out their tables.

"Sunny? On Monday, will you come with me to buy tables and chairs in Irving?"

Ian snapped up. "What?"

"I need to go to Irving and get tables and chairs. You told Max and Miranda that they could use it as a school house as soon as you were done. They can't teach without tables and chairs."

"Why don't you take Burns?" he suggested. I knew he didn't like it when Sunny and Wanda were on the loose.

She creased her eyebrows. "Why?"

I thought it might be wise to clear the room for the impending argument that I could feel was about to erupt. "I think I'm going to take a break. Anyone want to come to the house and get a drink?"

"First of all, how are you going to get eight tables plus chairs in the van?" he reasoned.

She scratched her head. "Gee. I don't know."

Sunny intervened. "Ian, how did you and Wanderer get all the building supplies here?"

"So, you plan on staying overnight," Ian concluded.

"Is that all right with you?" she asked.

"And if I said it wasn't?" he replied.

"You'd better have on heck of a reason to back it up. I'm not going to be out hunting armed humans." She glanced at Victoria. "Sorry, Tori."

Ian had no defense. "Okay, you do whatever you have to do."

"Thank you." She turned to me. "You still want to take that break?"

"Well, I can wait until you beautiful ladies bring us out something to drink."

The rest of the day was uneventful. I got my hair shampooed for lice as did Evan. Maria and Aunt Sue washed everything that may have become infested.  
>Also, I managed to set up a baseball game for tomorrow.<p>

Sunday, the game was set for one o'clock. A bunch of us headed to the field an hour early to warm up. Tori and Danny came along with us. Ian told me he wanted to throw some pitches since it had been nearly a week since he'd thrown a ball due to all that had happened. I donned my gear and set up behind the plate. Ian started off with his fast ball. After a few pitches, Burns grabbed a bat and a helmet and went to the plate. Ian threw a few more pitches and then he threw his famous fade ball.

Wanda called Ian over to the bench. Burns and I followed. "Tori knows you," she said to Ian.

"What?"

Tori spoke. "You played for the Arizona Wildcats six years ago."

"You went to the University of Arizona?" he asked. They were near the same age.

"No. I went to school out in Virginia. I was an art major. The best art schools are in the east. I went to Virginia Commonwealth University."

"Then how do you know who I am?"

"My Dad was a scout. He was very excited about you. He used to drag me to games all the time when I was in high school. He used to break down your pitches and explain everything about them to me."

"Huh." Ian turned abruptly and walked away.

"Ian! Aren't you excited?" Wanda called out.

Tori put her hand on Wanda's arm. "It's okay."

"No. He was rude." She marched out to Ian to question his actions.

"You were rude," she scolded him.

He turned to her. "So she recognized me. Is it supposed to make me feel better to know that I _could _have been great? My dreams were smashed six years ago. I'm sorry if I'm not all gooey sweet about it."

"Ian, I…"

"Just let me pitch, okay?" He was upset.

She walked back to the bench and sat next to Tori. We went back to our places, and Ian pummeled me with his pitches. I wanted to say something, but I didn't want to seem like a wimp.

Eventually everyone was present at the field. As usual, Ian and I were the team captains. To decide who would choose first, a coin was tossed in the air. Ian won the coin toss, and his choice was obvious. He chose Kyle which meant the power was definitely in Ian's court. I naturally chose Burns next. In turn, Ian chose his golden boy, Blake. As soon as the power people were chosen; I made a play of my own. I turned to Ian. "You know I'm going to cheat. I pick Wanda."

Ian obviously was not happy. "You keep your clothes on," he said to her.

I put my arm around her waist and smiled. I asked Victoria if she wanted to play, but she said she would rather be the umpire. So she called balls and strikes, and Sunny called the bases.

We were up first. Ian played short as he always did. He put Kyle out at center field. Golden boy Blake pitched. Ian had an interesting transition when the girls were up. Normally, Megan played third, but when Kim came in to pitch for the girls, Ian had Megan go to Kim's left field position, and Blake went over to third base. When the girls were up, all of their strength was in the infield. Normally, Carlos would have been the catcher, but I had chosen him on my team. Ian let Rachel catch. Wanda came up to bat. To my surprise, she bunted and ran like the wind. Rachel was able to get to the ball, but her throw was wide, forcing Evan off the bag for the catch, giving Wanda the opportunity to touch the bag before him.

Ian gave her kudos even though she wasn't on his team. "That was the smart thing to do, Babydoll. Way to use your head."

Wanda was wearing booty shorts today, and she looked extremely luscious. Seeing her bent over, leading off first base was definitely the highlight of my day. Evan was not oblivious to the sight. I wondered if Gina noticed Evan ogling her ass. Ian most certainly did. He yelled out. "Keep your eyes on the ball, head in the game people."

It was my turn to bat. I hit it to Holly in right field, and both Wanda and I were safe. Wanda was on second, and she stuck her ass out seductively as she took her lead. Kyle was behind her in the outfield and he, too, was checking out her gyrations. Burns was up, and he was our best hitter. He hit a beauty to left field right over Kim's head. Kyle took off running for it and snatched it up before Kim got near it. He fired it to Ian on second base. Wanda and I came home. Burns was barely safe at second. Wanda and I gave each other a high five. Our next three players were all out and the side was retired.

Ian's team was up. He put Megan up first. Again, Ian wouldn't allow a girl to pitch to her. She hit off Carlos right at Wanda on third base. It came at her hard and fast. She tried to stop the ball but couldn't get behind it. It passed the bag and went to the outfield. Megan had a two base hit.

Ian was clapping his hands. "That's it Megan. You show 'em how to play."

Blake was next. He hit a beauty to center field, but it was caught by Rob. Kyle was up third. He slammed it to right field. Megan came home, and Kyle was on second. Evan hit a hopper to little Dean on second base. He stopped the ball, but he had a hard time picking it up. Evan was safe on first, and Kyle was now on third. Tom came up next, and he hit it over my head down the first base line. Kyle came home, and Evan went to third. Ian came up. Every one moved back about ten feet. It didn't matter. Ian hit that ball like a rocket. It was gone. By the time Rob got to it, Ian was rounding second, and he had no intentions of stopping. They tried to throw him out at home, but it was no use. Ian crossed home plate on his feet.

By the time the inning was over, it was four to two. I sat next to Wanda in the dugout. "You know I have to make Ian jealous, right?"

"Aw, Nate. Last time you did that he nearly broke your leg!"

"Eh, he likes me better now. I don't know any other way to get him to make a mistake. I need to get his head out of the game."

"I'm not sure about this," she lamented.

"Look, the next time we get a hit, just get up, and we will hug each other."

"Okay, I can do that."

Sarah hit a fly ball to Ian for an easy catch. Rob hit a good one to left field. Wanda and I jumped up and hugged each other. "Ian!" I called out. He looked over, and I planted my hands firmly on her ass. She reacted quickly by slapping me in the face hard. I was rather dumbfounded. I wasn't expecting it, and I staggered backwards.

Ian called out. "Thank you, Babydoll. Now I don't have to pulverize him."

"Oh crap, I'm sorry Nate! Why did you do that?"

"I told you I was going to make him jealous!"

"You said _hug!_ What you did was wrong!" she was yelling. Ian was laughing. He was obviously happy that my plan had backfired, and I was on the receiving end of her anger.

Ian called out to me. "You done pissed her off now!" Even Tori was laughing.

The game was a debacle. Ian had chosen his team well. He chose each player on hitting power, and in the end, his strategy paid off. They beat us seventeen to five.

After the game, I walked out to Ian in hopes of salvaging our friendship. "No hard feelings, right?"

"Hey, you're just lucky she reacted the way she did."

Danny came running up to Ian. "Ian? Can you teach me how to hit?"

"Sure kid," Ian said dismissing the boy.

Danny ran in front of him again. "No, I mean right now?"

He seemed surprised at the boy's enthusiasm. "You want to learn right now?"

"Yes, please."

"Have you ever played baseball before?"

Wanda turned to Ian. "His dad was a scout, remember?"

"I played tee ball for three years when I was four, five, and six years old. Then I played fall ball and one year of spring coach pitch. Then we had to run," Danny replied.

The pain immediately registered on Ian's face. "Okay, kid."

He corrected Ian. "Danny. My name's Danny."

Ian looked at Wanda then looked back at Danny.

"Okay. Grab the bucket of balls out of the dugout."

I needed a shower, so I took my leave and left Ian and his groupies.

After my shower, I plopped on the couch with Priscilla and watched 'The Disney Channel' with her. There was a teen comedy series on. Gina and Evan entered the house. Evan headed for the bathroom, and Gina sat next to me on the couch.

"You know, that stunt you pulled on the baseball field was pretty shocking. I love you, but if you had done that to me in front of Evan, I would have slapped you, too. She must have been really embarrassed."

"You think I embarrassed her?"

"Totally. Did you think she was going to get all hot and bothered?"

"I was just hoping to distract Ian and maybe cop a quick feel."

"Well, I hope you apologized."

"I apologized. Ian said he was just glad she reacted the way she did."

"Did you apologize to _her_?"

"No."

She chuckled. Then she got up, kissed me on the forehead, and muttered, "I still love you." Then, she walked off to the kitchen.

Gina was right. I'm an asshole. I needed to apologize. I'd tell her first chance I got.

As it turned out, I never got the chance to talk to Wanda alone before she and Sunny got on the road. I decided if I was going to do this, I needed to call her. I punched her name on my contacts, and she answered quickly.

"Hello, Nate."

"Hi. I wanted to call to apologize to you for today."

"Is Ian making you call?"

"No. I just—I just couldn't face you. Today I let my—I let my lust for you and the situation get out of control."

She was silent.

"I hope you will forgive me."

"I forgive you Nate," she said quietly.

"Well, you and Sunny have a safe trip, and I'll see you when you come back with the tables. I'll be there to help unload."

"Thanks, Nate. I'll see you soon."

I wanted to feel better, but I didn't. With Sunny and Wanda gone, Burns slept in his own bedroom, Kyle slept in my room at the cave, and Jamie took the couch. I spent another night in the root cellar with Tori and Danny.

The lights were out, but I couldn't sleep. I was still feeling like shit over the ass grabbing incident.

"Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I'm an asshole?"

She sighed.

"Great," I lamented.

"You're not an asshole. I mean, no more than any other guy."

"Burns isn't an asshole," I pointed out.

"Burns is a soul. I don't think he has the emotions that the rest of us have."

"Wanda's a soul, and she's very emotional."

"I've wondered about that. I think maybe Melanie has a lot to do with that. She said that she shared Melanie's body for a long time, and they had to share emotions and feelings for both Jared and Ian. I've never met Jared, but I'll bet she has feelings for him, too."

"Ya think?"

"Yeah, I mean, after all, Ian tried to kill her, and she still fell in love with him. She doesn't like to feel hatred. She hated me, and then a day later she was trying very hard to make me her friend. If I was in love and someone nearly killed my guy, I wouldn't be so quick to forgive."

"But you were trying to protect your brother."

"I'm pretty vindictive. I thought Ian was a soul. I wanted him dead. I wanted you all dead."

"But you're friendly to our souls now."

"Because I have to be. Not because I want to be."

"So, you really don't like Wanda."

She took a deep breath. "You want the truth?"

"If it's not too much trouble."

"I like her as a person. She's really easy to be around, but I hate her as a soul. It's her kind that ruined everything for me—for us, and I can never forgive her for that." Her voice cracked as finished her statement.

I turned on the light. She turned away. I knew she was crying. Big, tough Xena was crying. I got out of my bunk and went to her.

"Come here." I pulled her into my arms and held her. She broke down. "It's okay." I stroked her newly shorn hair. "Let it out." She had a lot of tears to shed. I lay in the cot with her. It was a tight fit, but she was buried in my chest. I kissed the top of her head. "I want you to know that I'm always here for you. You can tell me anything, and I won't judge you, and I'll do my best to never disappoint you."

"Thank you," she muttered into my chest. It wasn't long before sleep overtook me.


	29. Chapter 29

**So, I'm sitting here staring at a book—a beautiful book. I feel absolutely giddy. It's called**

**FOR THE LOVE OF BRYNN**

**Book 1 – Love Comes Easy**

**If you are interested in finding out how you can purchase the book, feel free to send me a personal e-mail. OR you can read the first chapter on my bio on Facebook. Look me up; I am listed under Nancy Bickford LeBrun.**

**In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying my Fan Fic stories!**

MAKING AMENDS

07/07/02 – I fell asleep last night with a distraught Victoria in my arms. This morning, I woke with my face pressed to her chest and hard-on the size of New York City. Needless to say, I quickly got out of her bunk and crawled back into mine before she woke. The last thing I need is for her to think I am going to jump on her. Not that I wouldn't mind it, but she and I have become friends, and I like the fact that we don't have the sex thing between us.

Sometimes I wish that nothing happened between me and Gina because we could have been great friends…but then I remember how fucking fantastic she is in the sack, and I wish I'd never stopped sleeping with her. She was nice to me yesterday. She even told me that she still loved me. Maybe there's still hope for us.

I'm not sure what Wanda thinks about me right now. I embarrassed her in front of everyone. I let my lust for her cloud my judgment and I came up looking like the fool, and I was too stupid to see it.

Victoria is waking up. I guess it's time to start this day.

"Morning, Xena."

"Good morning." She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"You know with that new haircut, you look beautiful even in the morning."

She looked at me incredulously. "Really?"

I closed my journal and got up. "Yeah, it's cute the way it curls around your ears right there." I brushed her hair behind her ear, and it circled her lobe at the bottom.

"Are you trying to flirt with me?"

"No. Not that I wouldn't flirt, but I don't want to ruin our friendship."

"Thanks."

"Wake up sleeping beauty over there, and we can go get some breakfast." I dialed Burns, and he came out to unlock the root cellar. Danny was awake now, and we all marched to the house. Nothing was said about the tender moment that Tori and I had shared the night before.

I brushed my teeth, downed a cup of coffee, and took off with Burns to the worksite.

"You know, you can't keep Tori and her brother locked up in the root cellar forever," I declared.

"You trust her?"

"She cried last night."

"Really? I didn't think she had it in her," Burns replied coldly.

I stopped. "Why do you hate her so much?"

"I don't trust her."

"You're a soul. When the hell did you become so damned judgmental?"

"I don't know. Maybe when I realized that putting my trust in the wrong person could jeopardize us all."

"This is about Lily, isn't it?"

"I love Lily. Who do you love Nate? And don't say Wanda because that's a fantasy. Who would you die for?"

"You don't know anything." I grimaced, shook my head, and walked away.

The truth was I would die for anyone of these people on the mountain which was ironic considering I hated the thought of dying.

Burns caught up to me and didn't say anything. As we started to work at laying more sheetrock with Ian, Kyle, and Evan, I spoke.

"I'm going to clear out one of the smaller storage rooms in the cave for Tori and Danny to use."

"Where will we put the food?" Burns asked.

"In here—for now. The food is non-perishable. Eventually, we can build a small shed behind the house."

"Why can't we keep them in the root cellar?"

I looked Burns dead in the eyes. "Because I won't keep her locked up like a wild animal. She's lived that way for the last six years. She deserves to be treated like any other human on this mountain."

"She tried to kill Ian."

"Ian tried to kill me, and you allow him to sleep in your house!" I said vehemently.

"You told me not to kick him off the mountain!" he replied. A few beats later he asked, "Are you sleeping with her?"

"You didn't ask me if I was sleeping with Ian when I asked you not to kick him off the mountain."

"Come on, the only reason you wanted him to stay was because you want Wanda."

Ian tried to ignore the entire conversation. He was working with Kyle on the other side of the room. Kyle stopped what he was doing and came over to us. "Come on guys. Let's not fight."

I ignored Kyle. "Fuck you, Burns."

"So, you _are_ screwing her."

"Why don't you ask her that? And when she kicks you in the balls, you'll know your answer." I threw my hammer on the floor and stormed out of the building.

"Nate!" Burns called.

"Let him go." I heard Kyle say.

I headed for the house. I went in the back door, marched past the ladies watching TV, through the kitchen, and out the front door, slamming it behind me. I sat on the front steps.

"Fuck!" I was so pissed. I couldn't believe that my best friend had turned on me.

Before I could think another thought, Maria came through the door and sat next to me on the stairs.

"What's wrong, Owlet?"

Owlet was a term of endearment that Maria often used with me. She told me that in her tribe, a mother often used it for her child. She called me Owlet when she was trying to calm me.

"Burns," I replied.

"Burns?" she repeated. "What about Burns?"

"He's pissing me off. He's accusing me of sleeping with Victoria. He hates her for some reason. We were supposed to be accommodating to the newcomers. He didn't treat Holly or Gina or even Ice this badly."

"I'm confused. Are you angry because he thinks you are sleeping with her, or are you angry because you _are _sleeping with her?"

"I'm not sleeping with her!" I barked.

"Okay! So you want to sleep with her?"

"No!—I don't know, maybe." I thought better of it. "No."

She sighed deeply.

"Well, which is it?"

"You know me. I lust after every girl, but our friendship is more important to me than sleeping with her. I admire her." I chuckled softly. "And I fear her. If I ever got into a fight, I'd want her on my side."

"Why do you think Burns dislikes her?"

"I don't know. He says she shot Ian, but you know what? Ian nearly killed me."

"Why did Ian nearly kill you?"

"Because he thought I slept with his girl. Even if I slept with Victoria, she belongs to no one, and Burns is in love with Lily!"

Maria reached out and squeezed my hand. "Why did Victoria try to kill Ian?"

"She was trying to protect her brother. She thought Ian was a soul."

She placed her hand on my face. "And what did Burns encounter when he first returned to the mountain after he was placed in his human body?"

"His mother and sister were souls and his father—killed—them. Shit!"

"Burns loves you. He's just afraid. Make sure Victoria is trustworthy before you set her free."

"Maria, I believe in my heart that she wouldn't hurt any of us."

"Then you do what you have to and prove it to Burns. Just don't make an enemy of him. He's like a brother to you."

I hugged her tightly. "Thanks, Maria."

"I love you, Owlet."

"I love you, too."

She pulled away and went back inside. I sat there for a few minutes trying to process everything in my head.

Before I could get up, the door opened again, and Victoria came out. She sat next to me.

"Hey," she said quietly.

I stared straight ahead. "Hey."

"Evan came in to use the bathroom, and he told me you and Burns were fighting—over me."

I rubbed my hands together and stared at my feet. "Yep."

"I thought he was your best friend?"

"He is."

"I don't want you fighting with him over me."

"Okay."

"Nate, look at me." I didn't want to look at her because my emotions were riding close to the surface.

I tried to summon my poker face and looked at her. "He doesn't trust you, and it just kills me."

"But you trust me, right?"

"I do."

"Then, that's all I need. I don't expect everyone to like me, but as long as I have just one person on my side, I'm doing all right."

We embraced each other, and she comforted me as I had done to her last night. She stroked my hair gently. As we pulled away, she spoke again.

"Now, get to work, or they'll think it's my fault for monopolizing your time."

I smiled and kissed her forehead.

"We'll talk later, okay?"

"Sure."

I got up and walked through the house, waved to everyone, smiled, and headed out the back door. When I reached the worksite, all eyes were on me except for Burns.

"You okay?" Ian asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said solemnly.

I walked up to Burns, who was busy putting in insulation.

"I'm sorry, man. I don't want to fight with you."

"Don't sweat it," he answered.

I started to help him with the insulation. Nothing more was said.

At lunchtime, we headed to the house for lunch. We all sat at the kitchen table. There were six chairs at the table. Gina grabbed the last chair and pulled it up along side Evan. Victoria was in the kitchen. She put glasses in front of each of us and proceeded to pour the iced tea. Burns put his hand over his glass.

"I don't like iced tea," he said solemnly.

"What can I get you?" she asked.

"Coke if you've got it, water if you don't."

"Coke, coming right up."

She went to the fridge and retrieved a can of Coke, popped the tab, and poured it into his glass.

"Would you like ice with that?" she asked.

"No, this is fine. Thank you."

Victoria looked up at me, smiled, and shot me a quick wink. "Okay boys, we have sandwiches. Your choice: ham, salami, and provolone or turkey and swiss. What'll it be?" She went around the table and took everyone's order. She returned with the sandwiches. She put out bowls with mustard, mayo, lettuce, and tomato along with a large bag of chips. Then she sat back on a stool just behind me and picked up the notepad from my bedroom.

"I hope you don't mind, Nate. I went to your room and snagged your notepad."

"No, that's fine," I answered. I knew she was going to draw. I had a sneaking suspicion as to who the subject was considering Burns was sitting across from me at the table.

After a few minutes, Burns noticed as well. "Why do you keep staring at me?"

"I'm sketching you," she said without missing a beat.

"Why me?" he asked.

"I like to draw my victims before I kill them," she answered with a sly smile.

I laughed. Burns didn't.

"Oh, come on! She's messing with you! Victoria, tell him you are joking with him."

She looked him dead in the eyes. "Burns do you want to kill me?"

"No, I don't want to kill anyone," he said in earnest.

"Good, neither do I."

She went back to her drawing. Everyone went back to eating. Ten minutes later, Evan and Gina got up and left the table. I could only assume they wanted a little alone time before Evan went back to work.

Ian and Kyle got up next.

"Ian? Could you wait a minute?"

Ian stopped short of the kitchen door. "Uh—sure. What do you need?"

She dropped the pad on the table and got up. She crossed the kitchen to him. She and Ian were the same height. She looked nervous. She raised her arms as if to hug him and then stopped, bit her lip and tried again, only to stop again.

"I'm really sorry I shot you."

Ian chuckled. "Come here." He engulfed her in his arms.

It was obvious that she was very uncomfortable with the embrace.

He pulled away, and she looked absolutely white. I couldn't help but laugh.

Burns had pulled the notepad across the table and was staring at the picture.

"This is really me," he stated.

"She's good, isn't she?"

Ian and Kyle stood behind the chair to get a glimpse of the sketch.

Burns looked up at me. "You knew she could draw like this?"

"Yes, the night we were supposedly screwing in my room, she was drawing me. Look, it's on one of the other pages."

Burns flipped the pages until he found the portrait of me.

"By the way, considering I have zero condoms, I sure hope that Tori isn't pregnant," I joked.

"Well, if I am, I'm surely not naming it Nate."

I looked at her in shock. "Seriously?"

She laughed. "You're so stupid, and that puts me one stupid up on you."

"Touché."

"What is she talking about?" Kyle asked.

"It's just a thing," I answered. I tapped the tip of her nose playfully. "I'll see you later. I'm going to need your brute strength cleaning out your room."

"What room?"

I left the kitchen. Victoria called out after me. "What room?"

"Later!" I called out as I filed out the back door behind Ian.

We all laughed knowing it was going to be hell clearing out the small storage room. Unfortunately, the laughing took place as we passed Gina and Evan kissing at the bottom of the back stairs. Gina shot me an evil look, and I just grinned at her. I wasn't about to show her that I was jealous. Truthfully, it didn't bother me anymore. She was Evan's, and I accepted that. I didn't like it, but I knew there wasn't much I could do about it without a commitment, so I accepted it. Besides, Wanda was back, and my romantic focus was on her. As for Victoria, I liked her. She was fun to be around.

Everyone was in a much better mood now. We all talked while we worked. It was a few minutes before three when Burns's phone rang informing us that Wanda and Sunny were on their way up the road from town.

We were all standing in the driveway when they pulled up. The truck was pretty full. It took an hour to unload everything from the truck and store it in the first building. It was just starting to rain as we finished.

"By the time we get back to Irving, it will be too late to return the truck tonight. We are going to have to stay there another night," Sunny announced.

"Why don't you just stay here tonight and take the truck back in the morning?" Kyle suggested.

Ian was in agreement. "I like that idea."

Sunny objected. "I was hoping to go out with Wanda. I think after all she's been through this last week that she deserves a night out. Both of you have been to clubs in your day. She's never been given the chance."

"First of all, she's too young to go to a club," Kyle remarked.

"They don't card souls because souls are honest. They wouldn't expect her to be there unless she was twenty one. I should know; I worked in a bar."

"So, what kind of honest souls are you?" Ian asked.

"The kind of honest souls who have been forced to lie every time they leave the humans they love behind. Come on, Ian. I won't let anything happen to her," Sunny pleaded.

"I don't like this," Ian barked.

Wanda walked up to Ian, stretched up on her tip toes, and put her arms around his neck. "Ian, I think Sunny needs this more than I do. Let me do this thing for her. _Please?"_

Ian looked very serious. "I'll let you go under one condition."

"What?" Both Sunny and Wanda answered at the same time.

"You take Burns with you."

My brain exploded and I erupted. "That is so unfair! He gets to see her naked and now he gets to go out with her! Someone PLEASE shove a soul into me."

"Nate, don't you ever say that again!" Wanda scolded. "It's not easy sharing a body. You lose a part of yourself. I need to speak with you alone." She grabbed my hand and led me to the root cellar. Ian stood there in what could only be described as shock.

Once inside the root cellar, she tried to let go of my hand, but I wouldn't let her. "Nate, I wanted to talk about your actions and the phone call today."

I looked directly into her eyes.

"Stop staring at me!" she demanded.

"I can't help it." It was the first time I had been alone with her since she had returned to the mountain, and my heart was pounding.

"Nate, I thought we were past all of this."

"I know. I thought so, too. I know you want to be with Ian, but I can't let go. It's very difficult just being your friend. I mean, half the time you are running around in those skimpy little dresses and looking so damned hot. What am I supposed to do? Poke my eyes out?"

"I'll stop wearing the skimpy dresses."

"No!" I took a deep breath. "I guess—when Ian hated me, at least I knew if I crossed the line, I'd get beat up if not killed, but now he is my friend, and the line gets blurred."

"Nate, if anything happened between us, Ian _will_ kill you. Don't think for a minute that his friendship will change that."

I put my arms around her and put my forehead against hers. "I don't believe you."

At that moment, Ian burst through the door. He stopped several feet from us. "Take your hands off of her," he hissed.

I raised my hands in surrender. "Just put me out of my misery." I waited for the onslaught.

Ian lunged, but then stopped in his tracks. He looked at Wanda. "I can't share you, Wanderer."

"I don't want you to," she assured him.

"I know his pain," Ian whispered.

"Then understand that he might slip. But understand, too, that I will not."

"What if…" Ian started to speak.

"There are no what ifs. Now that I know the truth about Nate, I will be careful. Nate, there are other girls here on this mountain who would love your company. I _wish_ you would at least give them a chance."

I stared at the floor. I didn't want to hear her shoot me down again. "Maybe."

"I'm going to Irving. Try not to kill each other." She left the root cellar. Ian was behind her all the way back to the U-Haul truck.

I sulked back to the cave. I went to my room, turned on the light, scooped up a soccer ball from the corner, and fell sideways on the bed onto my back. I was hurt. I hated that she chose Ian over me. I was tossing the ball into the air when there was a light tap on the door. It was a woman's knock. The question was, was it anyone I cared to see right now? Gina was a definite no. The last thing I wanted right now was to have an argument with her, and when it came to Gina, it was always either sex or an argument. I truly didn't think she'd be offering sex. Another knock.

"Nate?" I heard her call from behind the door.

It was Victoria.

"Come in."

She opened the door. "Mind if I join you?"

"No, I don't mind."

She sat next me on the bed and then lay on her back beside me. I was still tossing the ball, and she reached out to catch it. She tossed it back up and let me catch it. We did this back and forth in silence for a while. Finally, she spoke, but she didn't break the rhythm of the game we were playing.

"I saw you go in the root cellar with Wanda."

"Yeah."

"I saw Ian go in, too."

"And?"

"And I wanted to make sure you were all right."

"I'm here with you, aren't I?"

"I can leave, if you want."

I caught the ball and didn't throw it back up.

"No. Can I tell you something?"

"What?"

"I was glad it was you knocking. You know why?"

Tori rolled over to her side facing me and propped herself up on her elbow. "Why?"

"Because I knew you would be the one person who wouldn't come in here and start an argument."

"I have nothing to argue with you about, but I _do _have a bone to pick with you."

I creased my eyebrows. "About what?"

"You never answered my question."

Now I was really confused. "What question?"

"What room?"

"Oh!" I smiled. "The whole argument between me and Burns started because I told him I wanted to set you and Danny up with a room here in the cave."

"He doesn't want me in the cave?"

"He doesn't think you are ready, but I think you are."

"Okay," she said meekly.

I sat up. "The room needs to be cleaned out. Right now we are using it as a storage room, but there is no place left to put you."

"I don't know. This bed is kind of comfortable."

"I'm not giving up my bed or my room."

"You could share," she said in a flirty voice.

"If I share my bed with you, you will be naked in it." I plopped on the bed and put my arm around her waist. "And so will I."

"I don't think so." She pulled my arm away from her.

"You don't think I'm good enough for you?"

"I think you are stuck on Wanda, and I don't play second fiddle."

I rolled onto my back. "Oh well, your loss. I'm great in bed."

"Then I guess one of us is stupid."

"Stupid is as stupid does," I replied. I bounced off the bed. "Come on, Xena. Let's go work on your room."

I took her by the hand and pulled her off the bed. She followed me to the main cave where I grabbed a lamp. I took her hand and led her down the long hall deep into the cave.

"It's quiet back here and it's colder, too," she complained.

"Would you rather stay in the root cellar?"

"Well, it is nice in there."

"It'll be cold in the winter, and people will be roaming in and out. Besides, once the bunkhouse is finished, people will have the option to move in there. You might be one of the lucky ones, and even if you aren't, someone else's room will open up."

"So this is temporary?"

I hooked my finger into her button down blouse. "Unless you want to get naked."

"You'd have to work harder than that," she declared.

"Oh, I can be very hard."

Victoria burst out laughing.

I was trying to contain my own smile. "It's no laughing matter."

"You—are—so—STUPID!" She laughed uncontrollably.

"You know if you weren't bigger than me, I'd kick your ass right now."

"Stop it! You're killing me!" She bent over still laughing.

I folded my arms across my chest. I was amused that I had her laughing. I wondered when the last time she had laughed so freely.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself at my expense."

"I'm sorry," she said as she pulled herself back together. "Nate, I like you, I really do—But I don't see us as lovers."

I cocked my head. "Is that a challenge?"

"No. Not that I don't think you'd be _up_ for the challenge." She started to giggle. "Oh shit! I did it again!" She broke down in a laughing fit again.

Even I couldn't control my laughter. A minute later, I composed myself. "Okay, no more dick jokes. Let's get to work."

"Where are going with this stuff?" she asked.

"Well, I guess we could start by getting it all into the main part of the cave in the big room. Then, we'll have to carry it to the new building and put it in there. I suppose the wheelbarrow would work best when we move it there."

"Maybe we should get help."

"I don't really want to see Ian right now. I think he's a little pissed, and I'd like to give him some time to calm down."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing!—Much."

She was serious now. "I've felt his power. He can hurt you, Nate."

"Don't I know it? He almost killed me once. Broke my jaw and my nose."

"What?"

"Yeah. Wanda and I had an intimate moment that I initiated. She freaked and took off. Ian wasn't around. He was off buying an engagement ring with Burns, only Wanda didn't know it. When he came back, the others said they weren't sure what happened, but that she told them she ruined everything and she took off. Ian immediately jumped to the conclusion that I slept with her, and I didn't have a chance to deny it before he pummeled me. The first punch broke my jaw, and I couldn't talk at all after that." I shuddered at the thought of the pain I felt that day.

"Oh my god! How long ago did this happen?"

"I don't know. About six weeks ago, more or less."

"And you've healed already?"

I laughed. "I healed in minutes, once they used the 'no pain' and the 'heal'."

She creased her eyebrows.

I took her hand in mine. "Victoria, the souls have wonderful drugs. They can heal just about anything. How did you think Ian healed so quickly?"

"I don't know. I figured he was bandaged and the Doc from the caverns took the bullet out of him. I just assumed the injury wasn't as bad as everyone had thought."

"Victoria, Burns healed his wounds at the campground. He didn't have time to get the bullet out. If he hadn't healed him right there, Ian would be dead. That was a fatal gunshot wound."

Victoria fell back against the wall. She was staring at the ground. "I didn't know."

I placed my hand gently on her neck. "It's okay. He survived."

She swallowed hard. "I don't feel so good."

"You want to lie down?" I was worried about her.

"No, I have to go see Ian."

"You already apologized to him today in the kitchen."

"That was before I knew that I almost killed him!"

"Fine. He's probably working on the building. Let's at least carry some of this stuff there."

We each took a box of food. I gave Victoria a twenty-four pack of Gatorade and a box of assorted sundries. I took two cases of Gatorade. It was heavy and it got heavier during the half mile trek to the building. Victoria was a trooper. She never complained, and she never slowed down. She was like a friggin' pack mule. We entered the building and Victoria cried out, "Where?" indicating that she wanted to put her load down.

Kyle pointed to an empty corner where the sheetrock was complete. "There."

She rushed to corner and dropped everything. "Thank God!"

Ian looked at me as I dropped my load next to hers. "Are you crazy? Are you trying to kill her?"

I pulled on my arms to stretch my shoulders. "It was either her or me."

"We're cleaning out my room," Victoria replied. "Ian I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay, talk."

"I swear to you, I didn't know that my bullet had nearly killed you. I thought it wasn't that bad. I didn't know about the healing power of the drugs until Nate told me. I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay. When I first met Wanderer, I want to kill her, too. She forgave me and I forgive you."

"If I had only known you were human."

Kyle shot me a look.

"Kyle, she was on the run for six years. They took her father from her one night. He gave himself up, so his children could escape."

Victoria's eyes filled with tears, and she began to hyperventilate. Ian stepped forward and pulled her into his arms.

"It's okay. We've all been through some shit," Ian said softly.

"Even Burns," I replied. "He lost his whole family. He had no one until he found us."

"I'm okay," Victoria said, as she wiped away the tears.

Ian released Victoria. "Hey, you guys need some help cleaning out that room?"

"If it's not too much trouble—right Nate?"

Here's the thing. The last thing I wanted to do was hang around with Ian. I liked hanging with Tori. I liked flirting with her even if it wasn't going to go anywhere.

"Sure, that would be great," I said trying very hard to sound enthusiastic.

"Nate, why don't you go get the wheelbarrow out from under the house?" Ian said as a suggestion, but to me it was more like an order.

He marched off towards the cave with Tori in tow. I shook my head and left the building in search of the house. Lots of thoughts rambled through my brain; most of them consisted of words like _dickhead, fucking Neanderthal, and asswipe._

Evan caught up to me. "I think she likes him."

"No shit," I said sarcastically.

"You're jealous. I knew you were screwing her."

"I'm not screwing her. I just like hanging with her. She doesn't judge me like some people."

Evan didn't answer. I crawled under the house since my height made it easier for me and pulled the wheelbarrow out.

"Here, you take it to them. I'm going to take a nap."

"Where?"

"Burns's room." I stormed into the house, crossed the living room to Burns's room, and shut the door behind me. I plopped on the bed. I was aggravated and generally pissed off. I kicked off my work boots and snuggled into the pillow. My mind went from Victoria, to Gina, to Nadia, and finally to Wanda. Wanda was the one I wanted most, and she was the one I couldn't get near. Maybe Ian and Victoria would hit it off. That would be good, wouldn't it?

"Hey, hotstuff. I'm naked and I'm coming in."

"Gina?"

"Gina? Oh, you've got to be kidding me. You asshole!"

_Shit! _It was Victoria. _Cover your ass._

"Ha! You are so stupid! I got you!"

Victoria punched me lightly in the chest. "You jerk. You had me going." She plopped on the bed next to me. "Why did you bail on me today?"

"Hey, you had the two strongest guys on the mountain to help you. What did you need me for?"

She rolled towards me and grinned evilly. "You gay guys have such a flair for decorating."

"Screw you!" I barked.

"I think Burns is more your type," she joked.

I grabbed her wrist and pinned it behind her head. "Believe me, sweetheart. You have a piece of this, and you'll be wishin' that I never leave your bed."

She laughed. "You are so stupid!"

I jumped up and straddled her pinning both of her wrists.

"Nate, stop," she said nervously.

"Why should I?" I said as I leaned towards her lips.

"Because we're friends."

"And?"

"And I'm not Wanda."

The voice of reason had stopped me cold. _Shit!_

I got off the bed. "You're right. I'm sorry." Then, a thought flashed into my head. "Then, why did you flirt with me?"

"Because it's fun. You did it to me," she pointed out. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, but I don't do relationships."

"Friendship is a relationship. Don't you want to be my friend?"

"Yes, that's why I was angry today."

"You were jealous of Ian."

"Why do all the girls flock to him? I'm good looking, and I bet my dick is bigger than his," I ranted.

"Okay, I'm not going there, but you are the closest thing to a friend that I've had in six years, and I don't want to jeopardize that over the likes of a man who's in love with a soul."

"I'm in love with a soul," I reminded her.

"I'm trying really hard to overlook that."

"Thank you.—I think." I reached out for her hand and pulled her off the bed. "I smell food. Come on."


	30. Chapter 30

**It's been really quiet on Fan Fiction. I used to get all kinds of reviews and people talking to me telling me about their lives. I guess everyone is too busy to talk. I've been crazy writing this story and Plum Crazy for the Janet Evanovich area. I need to finish reading For the Love of Brynn to give it my final seal of approval…and Book 2 just got back from the editor. I need to work on the suggestions the editor made. Couple that with work and a trip to New Jersey to meet up with old friends (I mean really old, I haven't seen them in more than 30 years) and to promote my book…(sigh)…yeah, busy. Anyone like to maybe clean my house?**

MISUNDERSTANDINGS

07/08/2002 – I finally got to sleep in my own bed again. The fact that I was alone made it even better. Burns is supposed to go to Irving soon and get a backhoe so we can start digging the hole for the septic tank for the second building. The sheetrock is almost complete. The first building will be much easier than the second because it is one big room. Once we finish sheet rocking the walls, we need to put in the windows and the doors. The roof needs to be insulated and a drop ceiling put in.

Victoria and Danny have a room to themselves, but it is the coldest room in the cave. I only hope she has enough blankets. I need to check on them before I head off to the house for breakfast.

Wanda and Sunny and Burns are in Irving. Apparently, they went out last night which pisses me off. The other day, Burns happened to see Wanda naked when he went to wake Ian for work. Now, he is in a hotel room with the woman I love, and he got to party with her last night. My moons must be out of line or something. I'm not having any luck at all on the feminine front with the exception of Tori, but she's fast becoming a close friend to me. Although, I do have to admit it bothered me yesterday that she took off with Ian when I was the one who made her getting a room happen. I hate that it still bugs me. Stupid as it sounds, my head is screaming, "Hey you've got Wanda! Keep your man paws off my girl." I know. I'm an idiot.

I closed the journal and schlepped out of bed. I grabbed the jeans I had put on yesterday after my shower and slid into them. The news said it would be hot today—in the eighties. That was hot for us in the mountains. Short sleeve cotton shirt and workboots. I needed to do laundry—maybe later.

I wanted to check on Victoria and Danny. I walked quietly down the natural hallway that led to the room they were using. I had an electric lamp with me. I didn't want to wake them, but there was no natural light. My intent was to peek into the room.

No sooner did I turn the corner, Victoria looked up at me.

"Who is it?" She couldn't see who it was because her vision hadn't adjusted to the light.

"Sorry, it's just me. I wanted to check up on you."

"What time is it?"

"It's early. I was going to head up to the house for breakfast before we started work."

"I'm freezing," she blurted out.

"Didn't I give you enough blankets?"

"I gave Danny my extra blanket. I didn't want him to be cold."

I stepped towards her mattress and dimmed the lamp. I kicked off my shoes and climbed onto the mattress.

"Move over Xena. I'll warm you up."

"You're not gonna try anything, are you?"

"Tempting, but no. This is a mission of mercy."

I pulled her into my arms. The tip of her nose touched my face. "Jesus! Your nose is cold."

"Sorry."

"Tuck your face into my neck."

"You're warm," she muttered.

"I thought I was stupid."

"That, too."

"I'm not stupid enough to give away my blanket."

"I got you in exchange, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you got me."

I closed my eyes and before I knew it, two hours had passed. Daniel was standing over us with the lantern on full blast. "What are you doing to my sister?"

Tori and I were still in an unbreakable embrace.

"Danny, it's okay. He was keeping me warm."

"I'm sorry, I must've fallen asleep. What time is it?"

"I don't know," Danny replied.

I pulled my cell phone from my pocket.

"Shit! It's after nine. I was supposed to be at the worksite at seven. So much for my breakfast—I gotta go."

I scrambled out of the bed and pulled on my workboots. "If you're still tired, you can go to my room."

I bolted down the corridor before anything else was said.

I arrived at the worksite and was immediately verbally assaulted.

"Where the hell have you been? We've been looking all over for you," Ian called from the roof.

"I had something come up this morning," I called out.

"I sent Rachel to look for you, and she couldn't find you. She said you weren't in your room. You shacked up somewhere?"

I ignored the comment and got straight to work. I climbed the ladder and joined Ian and Tom on the roof. Kyle, Rob, Evan, and Carl were putting on the vinyl siding. We chose a sandy brown in the hopes the house would blend better with the woods if seen from far away.

"I hope Burns gets back soon. I'd like him to go to get that backhoe today."

"I wouldn't expect Burns to be any use to you today. They were out partying till two in the morning," Ian stated with just a bit of ire in his voice.

"No shit?"

"She hung up on me last night, and then she shut the phone off."

"Was she drunk?"

"I don't know. She didn't sound drunk."

"I'm sure everything is fine. I mean, Burns is with them. He would never let anything bad happen."

"I'm sure you're right, but I'm pissed that she didn't check in with me all night and then she yelled at me and hung up." He started hammering the shit out of the roof. I figured it was best if I didn't say anything. I kept my head down and hammered the shingles in the area I was working on.

About a half hour later, I heard my name being called from below.

"Nate!"

It was Victoria. I looked down. She was standing there with a cup of coffee and something wrapped in a paper towel.

"I'm sorry you missed your breakfast. I brought you coffee and a bagel."

I heard several comments from the guys putting up the siding.

"Ooooo!"

"So that's what he meant when he said 'something came up'," Rob joked.

"I bet it did. Two hours worth of up!" Kyle joked.

Ian shot me a look and smiled. I shook my head in denial and began to climb down the ladder.

"Shut up, Dork! He was keeping me warm," Tori growled.

"I _bet_ he was," Rob shot back.

"If you weren't such an asshole, maybe your girlfriend wouldn't cheat on you!"

_Christ! Where the hell did she hear that?"_

Rob flew down the ladder and got in my face. "You son of a bitch! Are you sleeping with her again?"

"NO! I'm not sleeping with her. I don't know what the hell she's talking about!"

"I'm talking about Burns," Victoria replied.

Rob's head snapped around, and he looked shocked. "Burns?"

Then it hit me. The kiss in the root cellar that I initiated.

"Whoa! It's not what you think!" I said in Burns's defense.

"What do you have to do with this?" Rob said turning to me.

"Calm down, Rob."

"I will not calm down! First you make out with her right in front of me, and now, something is going on with Burns?"

"Oh, this is getting good," Kyle said.

By now, everyone was standing in a circle around me and Rob. Rob was about to blow. I went into defense mode.

"I kissed Rachel because you were accusing her of shit she didn't do! I was upset that Ian was fucking shot, and I felt like it was my fault. She was just trying to comfort me. Just because she's your girlfriend doesn't mean she's not my friend—and as for Burns, I was trying to prove to Victoria that Burns wasn't a threat to her or anyone else on the mountain. He didn't want to kiss her. I ordered him to. It could have been any female. She just happened to be the one there at the time. Christ, Rob! You need to get over your fucking insecurities!"

I turned to the crowd. "Everyone take a break. That's an order!"

"Okay, break sounds good to me," Ian agreed.

The guys headed for the house. Victoria stood there with the coffee and bagel.

"I fucked up, huh?"

"Yeah, you fucked up. We need to have a little talk."

I entered the building and set up two folding chairs.

"Sit."

I took the coffee from her and sat next to her. I was angry, but I couldn't be too mad at her. She was new to the mountain, and she couldn't possibly know the history between me and Rachel. I shot her a smile to let her know this wasn't going to be a lecture.

"Thank you for bringing me breakfast."

"Maybe I should have stayed in bed."

"You know that I'm in love with Wanda, but it wasn't always that way. I've only known her for a few months. When it comes to my relationships, I try to keep them very private. Most people on this mountain have no clue as to who I've bedded. I'm the leader, and I try to keep my focus on what's good for my clan, my family. A few years ago, Rachel and I—well, we fell into an affair. It took a while for Rob to find out, and when he did, he took off on his own. He's not like you. He has no clue how to survive out there. When we found him, he wasn't in very good shape. He was suffering from hypothermia. He was lucky he didn't lose his toes. Rachel was a mess. She swore to him she would never cheat on him again. She's kept that promise, but he still is very insecure especially when it comes to me. So, when you said that today…"

"He thought she was cheating with you again."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, Nate."

"I like you, Victoria. It would be nice to have a female friend I can confide in that isn't hooked up with anyone else."

"I'd like that."

"Good. You want half of my bagel?"

"Sure."

We ate in silence for a bit.

Victoria broke the silence. "I guess I was pretty stupid."

I smiled at her. "I didn't want to go there, but now that you mention it…." I mussed her hair.

"Hey!" she cried. "Don't mess with the 'do'!"

"You don't like me messing with your hair?" I reached out to touch her hair, and she shot off the chair.

"I'll kick your ass!"

"Yeah? Come on. Give it a whirl, Xena!" I bent over exposing my butt to her. She raised her foot, and I scooted away before she could make contact. I reached up and wrapped my arm around her neck, pulled her into a bent position, and messed up her hair.

"Stop it!" she yelled.

I looked up. Ian and Kyle were standing in the doorway. "You ready to get back to work, boss?" Ian asked, sporting a huge grin on his face.

I released Victoria. "Yeah, I'm ready to get back to work."

Without warning Victoria punched me in the arm—hard. "Ow!" I cried as I reached up to rub my arm.

"Jerk," she said flatly.

"Amazon," I shot back. I couldn't keep the smile from my face. "I'll see you later."

The rest of the day went pretty smoothly, although I did garner a few stray remarks from the O'Shea boys. I didn't see Victoria for lunch. I heard from Maria that she was with Danny checking out the school curriculum with Max and Miranda. She wanted Danny to get with the program as soon as possible. I thought that was good thing. It indicated to me that she liked being here. Ian tried to call Wanda, but the phone went to voicemail. Ian said a few choice words and threw the phone at me. I caught it before it flew past me.

It was nearly dinner time, and we getting close to knocking off for the day when Jamie came running to the building. "They're back!" he bellowed.

Ian shot off the roof onto the ladder and was out of sight in a minute.

"I guess we're done for the day!" I called out to the others. I was the first one down the ladder. I was standing at the bottom as Kyle was coming down. He had a screwdriver clipped to his belt when Evan asked him a question. Kyle pivoted on the ladder to answer him and the screwdriver got caught on the ladder, pulling it from Kyle's belt. I was looking up at Kyle. It all happened so fast. The butt of the screwdriver hit me right in the face. To be specific, it hit me in the cheek just below my eye. I stumbled away and grabbed at my face.

"Damn it!" I cried out in pain.

"Shit!" Kyle replied. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it!"

Kyle jumped off the ladder and came to me. Kyle pulled my hand away, so he could see the damage. "Well, it didn't hit you in the eye. You got a shiner though."

"Am I bleeding?"

"Yeah, it cut you right there."

"What the hell is with you O'Shea's and my face?"

"I guess you're just too pretty," he joked.

"Hey, the girls like this pretty face."

"Like I said, you are just too pretty. Let's go up to the house, and we can heal it."

"Later. I need to get back to the cave, so I can gather my laundry or I'll be working in my birthday suit tomorrow."

"You sure you're all right?"

"Yeah, I'll live."

I made my way back to cave without being spotted by anyone. I had my laundry, and I was making my way to the root cellar when I ran into Jamie and the bopsy twins.

"Hey, what happened to your face?" Jamie asked.

"Runaway screwdriver."

"You should heal that," Sarah replied. "I can do it."

"Later. I need to get this laundry started."

"Well, dinner is ready. That's where we were headed," Megan announced.

"I'll see you in a bit."

I dumped my clothes into the washer and headed back to the cave. Everyone was there. My eyes immediately honed in on Wanda and that is where I went. She was filling her plate with meatloaf when I can up to her.

"Hello, Beautiful!"

She looked up at me and her face I transmitted horror. "Ian!"

"I didn't do it!" he protested.

I placed my hand on her face and kissed her forehead. "Welcome home. Ian didn't hit me. I caught myself in the eye when a screwdriver fell off the ladder."

"Ow! You could have lost your eye."

"I didn't, but I did learn one thing. Don't look up when you are under the ladder."

"Point taken."

She followed Ian to a table and sat down without so much as a 'see you later'. I had to admit I was a little bit crushed. I noticed that Victoria was giving me a wide berth as well. I could only assume it was because Wanda was back, and Victoria didn't want to give anyone a reason to proclaim a romantic relationship between us.

After dinner, I went back to the laundry room and threw my clothes in the dryer. I also pitched in with dish duty. Most of the younger crowd was at the field for baseball practice including Wanda, Ian, Kyle, Sunny, and Victoria. With the completion of dishes and laundry, I decided it was time to shower and shave. I thought about using the heal but figured it would be better to save it for someone who might really need it. I'd survive.

That evening, Burns set up a few tables in the new building, and when I wandered in, there was a poker game going on. I wasn't much on poker, but Victoria was playing, so I decided to join. There was no money involved, just poker chips and a lot of ego. Victoria was good at the game…and lucky too. I saw no sign of Ian and Wanda. Doc and Candy were playing with us.

Maria sauntered in with a thousand piece puzzle, and it wasn't long before Candy dropped out and opted for the puzzle instead. Blake had entered the building and was quick to replace Candy.

At the end of the night, I walked Victoria back to the house for a last bathroom run and to get her an additional blanket. On the walk back, the sky rumbled and there was lightning in the distance.

"It's going to rain."

"Yeah, we better hurry."

We picked up the pace until we were close to the cave.

"I fun tonight."

"I did, too. I forgot what it was like to be able to relax and enjoy myself."

"As long as the outside world doesn't discover us, you will be safe here," I replied in earnest.

"Thanks, Nate. I'm glad you caught us."

"I'm just glad you didn't shoot us all."

I walked her to Megan's room where I knew the teens would be hanging.

"Jamie, it's getting ready to storm. Maybe you should stay in the cave tonight. You can sleep in the main cave with Doc and Candy. I'll call Burns and let him know."

Victoria retrieved Danny, and the three of us headed down the dark corridor towards their room.

"Are you going to sleep with my sister again tonight?" he asked.

"It's not like that," I responded. "I checked on her this morning, and she was cold. I was just trying to warm her up since you were snug under three blankets."

"He gave me an extra blanket, see?" Victoria held out the blanket she had been carrying.

At the entrance to the room, I pulled Victoria into my arms and gave her a heartfelt hug. "I'll see you in the morning."

The following day, Burns took the trip into Irving to rent the backhoe. The rest of us took the day off since Kyle, Sunny, Doc, and Candy were slated to leave tonight. I took the opportunity to sleep in.

When I woke, I pulled my journal out and was about to write in it when I heard a knock on the door. I figured it would be Victoria, and I didn't want to answer her in my shorts and give her the wrong impression. I slipped out of the bed and pulled on my jeans before answering the door.

I was surprised to see who it was.

"Rachel! What can I do for you?"

She placed her hands on my bare chest and backed me into the room. "I came to find out what is going on between you and the new girl, Victoria."

"Nothing's going on."

"Good." She raked her fingers through my hair.

I had to admit I was more than just a little bit flustered by her attention.

"Where is Rob?"

"He went fishing with Evan. They'll be gone all day," she whispered as she caressed my face.

Now, here's the thing. I like Rachel, I really do. A guy would be a fool to not want to make love to her. I had several obstacles that stood in my way of doing this, not the least of which was the fact that Rob was watching her like a hawk ever since the day of Victoria's arrival when I made out with Rachel in front of him. There was also the fact that I told Victoria that I hadn't touched Rachel in several years. The last thing I needed was for Victoria to knock on my door and find out I was in here 'puttin' it' to Rachel. She would undoubtedly brand me a liar and possibly stab me in the back—figuratively speaking. And then there was Gina. She had steered clear of me as of late, but I could never count out that whole debacle if she caught us.

"Rachel, I don't think we should do this," I said weakly. My mind was saying 'no' but my body was screaming 'hell yeah!' It had been two weeks since I had made love to Gina, and then I screwed it up by accusing her of trying to get pregnant. Truth be told, I wouldn't mind fucking Rachel but Gina—I wanted her. And if I screwed up her relationship with Evan, I was ready to step in and be her guy—I think.

"Nate," she whispered as she kissed my lips. "You look like you are a million miles away." She wrapped her arms around my neck.

I summoned every bit of strength I had in me and pulled her arms from around my neck. "You don't understand. Rob is watching you like a hawk. Don't you love him?"

"Of course I love him, but this isn't love. This is just sex."

She reached down and rubbed my package which had already betrayed me and was standing at half mast.

Suddenly there was another knock at the door. It was the knock I had been expecting.

"Victoria! Come in!" I sang relieved that she had stopped me from doing what I knew I would have done had she not arrived.

"Um, am I interrupting something?" she asked in a tentative voice.

"Not at all! Rachel was just looking to borrow a book while she sits in the sun and bakes. Rob went fishing for the day." My back was to Rachel and I shot Victoria a look. I only hoped she got my meaning.

"Oh, well, you said you wanted me to stop by when I was ready for breakfast. I know it's late, but I was snug as a bug in a rug with that extra blanket you gave me."

"I just rolled out of bed myself."

Victoria was staring at my chest. I wasn't sure if it was because she liked what she saw or if it was because she was wondering if Rachel and I had already done the deed and she had interrupted our good-bye.

"Victoria, sit. I'll be ready in a minute." I walked over to the bookshelves and searched for a book.

"Here you go. Try this. 'Girl with a Pearl Earring'. You might like it. Doesn't hurt to expand your horizon."

Victoria piped up. "Really? I read that. Can I borrow that when you're done with it?"

"Um, sure. I didn't even think about the fact that it's about the painting."

Rachel took the book and left. I couldn't be sure, but it seemed that she may have given Victoria the evil eye as she left. As soon as the door closed, I knocked Victoria back onto the bed. "You know, you just saved my ass."

"Did I? That's good. Your pants wouldn't be much to look at without that fine ass."

"Why, Xena. Would you be flirting with me?"

"Would that be a bad thing?"

I thought about kissing her, but I thought better of it. Besides the fact that I hadn't brushed my teeth, I wasn't sure I wanted to cross that line. I liked this flirting thing. I did a push up off the bed.

"The cavern people are leaving tonight," I reminded her.

"Wanda's going?" she asked.

"No. She's staying behind another week with Jamie. Burn's will take her back and visit with Lily for a bit."

"Tell me about Lily."

"She's young and pretty. I was very surprised they got together. Burns had never been with anyone since I've known him. I think when we ran into the cavern people and saw Wanda, we, here on the mountain, all thought she would be a perfect match for him. We didn't know that she and Ian were a couple, at first. We were pretty closed minded about the whole idea of humans and souls getting together in a romantic way. Wanda was the one who nudged Burns and Lily together. She was in town at the mall and she bought a couple of lacy tops. They were summery and pretty. Anyway…"

"Oh!" Victoria jumped off the bed. "How do you like my new outfit? Wanda got it for me!" She was wearing a cute little floral skirt with a salmon colored button down top. She twirled in a circle to show it off.

"It's very pretty. You make the clothes look good." An old trick I learned in college. Clothes don't make the girl, the girl makes the clothes.

"Nate, that's so sweet of you to say."

I pulled a V-neck T-shirt out of my dresser and slipped it over my head.

"So, finish telling me about Burns and Lily."

"Wanda bought three tops. She got one for herself, one for Sunny that she said was a gift from Kyle, and another for Lily. She told Lily that Burns asked her to get something nice for her as a gift from him. It was a lie, but Lily bought it. It gave her a reason to notice him and him to notice her. Lily was totally open to dating a soul. After all, her ex was dating a soul, and he seemed pretty darn happy."

"Wait, Ian and Lily were a couple?"

"Yeah, he dumped her when he realized he had feelings for Wanda back when she was still in Melanie's body."

"Oh my god! She must hate Wanda!"

"No, Wanda didn't even know about them. She was too busy just trying to stay alive."

"Wow."

"So, you see. She's a lot like you. She's a survivor." I skipped a few beats and added, "And pretty."

She was quiet.

"Come on, Xena. Let's eat."

The kitchen was empty except for a few stragglers. Uncle George was drinking coffee with Hector. They were the two senior males and they hung a lot together. We rarely asked them to do any work. They both had health problems. Aunt Sue always took care of Hector. My sister Kim was the unofficial guardian of Uncle George since I was in charge of everything else.

"Hey, Uncle George, we are taking a day off today from the building. You want to play a game of chess later?"

"Sure, how about right after lunch on the playground?"

"Well, you know, they set up some tables in the new building. We could play in there if you want."

"No, I like to get out in the sunshine."

"Okay, I'll see you then. You better bring your 'A' game. I'm feeling lucky."

"It's gonna take luck to beat me. I got some new moves," he said with confidence.

"Okay." I smiled at him before turning to help Victoria.

"What's for breakfast, Xena?"

"I hate when you call me that."

"I know. That's why I do it."

"You know I could knock you out with this frying pan."

"True, but you won't."

"What makes you think that?" she said, hands on hips.

"'Cause I'm your best friend."

Her face fell, and she looked like she was going to cry. "Tori, what's wrong? You don't want me to be your best friend?"

"I just never thought I'd be able to say I have a best friend."

"Well, you can and you do." I pulled her into my arms and gave her a good squeeze. Gina entered the kitchen at that moment. Victoria's back was to her, but I could see her. If looks could kill, I'd be a goner. I knew I had to smooth her ruffled feathers. "Hey Angel! Have you eaten breakfast?"

"No. Evan went fishing. I slept late."

"Yeah, we slept late, too," I responded without thinking of the implications of the words.

"Wait, are you two sleeping with each other?"

I flashed a brilliant smile. "No. of course not! I just meant that, like you, we each happened to sleep late."

Victoria rolled her eyes. "Jesus, you've got to be kidding me. I'm outta here."

She barged out of the kitchen. "Victoria!" I called out in an effort to pull her back.

"She's pissed because you are sleeping with her, and she doesn't like that fact that you are keeping a secret, Gina surmised."

"I don't know why she's pissed, but I assure you we are not sleeping together."

"Well then who _are _you sleeping with?"

"NO ONE!" I threw up my hands and stormed out of the kitchen in search of Victoria.

I found her in the root cellar. She was sitting on a cot staring at the wall and sketching on the pad that Wanda had gotten for her.

"Do you mind telling me what the hell that was all about?"

She turned and glared at me. "You're sleeping with her."

_Jesus. How many people are going to ask me that today?_

"I'm not sleeping with her."

"Don't bullshit me. It was written all over her face. She's in love with you!"

I sighed deeply. "Remember when I said I love a woman who I can't commit to but seem to have great difficulty in letting go of?"

"Gina? She's not even that pretty."

"Victoria, are you jealous?"

"No!"

"Let's just say there's more to Gina than meets the eye. She's with Evan now, and I am trying very hard to give her the space she needs to have the kind of relationship she deserves."

"Why couldn't she have a relationship with you?"

"Because as much as I love Gina, Wanda will always outrank her."

"She must hate Wanda."

"I guess you and she have something in common."

"I don't hate Wanda. I hate what she has to do to be here," Tori declared.

"Sometimes I think that Wanda and Burns and Sunny struggle with that every day. What must it feel like to want to be a part of a community and know that you've had to destroy the human inside in order to become one?"

"Good point."

I gave her the puppy dog eyes. "Are you still mad at me?"

"No. I just wish you had told me about her."

"I told you. I try to keep my relationships very close to the vest."

"So, why are you telling me?"

I put my hand on her shoulder. "I thought I was your best friend."

You place her hand over mine. "You are."


	31. Chapter 31

**Okay, I like this chapter. I've been writing so much, I'm feeling a bit burned out. My book is finally out. Now, I have to sell some which means doing some leg work. I'll be heading to New Jersey the first weekend of October so I may fall behind in the writing. If, by chance, any of you are interested purchasing the book, the info is on my profile page. Enough said. I hope you enjoy Angels.**

ANGELS

07/17/02 – Kyle, Sunny, Doc, and Candy left a week ago. Me and the guys finished the first house. Burns spent the last week digging the hole for the septic tank for the second building which we have dubbed the 'bunkhouse'.

The scary thing is while we all work, the four women in my life are spending time together: Rachel, the girl I had a sorted affair with, who still wants my body when she can get away with it. Gina, the girl I love and lust after, who I could be in a happy relationship with if I wasn't such a yutz. Victoria, my new found friend who I could lust after if I allowed myself to go there, and finally, Wanda, the beautiful porcelain doll who has become my obsession. I am scared to death that they might get to talking, and Wanda will find out all my dirty little secrets. That could be disastrous. I only pray the other three will keep the things they know to themselves, especially Tori, who knows pretty much everything. I am putting a ton of trust in her hands. I only hope she will be loyal.

Wanda and Jamie are leaving today with Burns. She said she'll be gone about a month or so. She wants to purchase an outfit fit for a wedding for all of the clan members in the caverns as well as the dresses for her herself and the wedding party.

I will miss Wanda, but I have to admit, she and I haven't been spending a lot of time together lately. I'm not sure if it's because she wants to focus her precious moments on Ian or if it's because she is afraid to be with me. At any rate, I am trying to be the good guy and allow her to come to me when she feels like it.

Life, for me, has fallen into a daily routine. There is no romance and no sex, only friendships and hard work.

Burns, Wanda, and Jamie left after breakfast. It was a tearful good-bye. As soon as she left, Ian took off for the baseball field. He was in a mood, and I wasn't about to piss him off. I had laundry to do anyway.

In the evening I hung out with Victoria in the house playing pool. I was trying to teach her to hustle. Since she was such a great aim with a gun, I knew she would be easy to teach. She picked up the technique quickly. Tori and I hung out most nights and most nights, we usually playing cards.

I walked Victoria to her room as I had done every night over the last two weeks. We hugged each other good night, and I sauntered off to my room. We hadn't worked on the buildings today, but I was still tired. I guess it was the last two weeks of hard work sneaking up on me.

I entered my room and turned on my electric lamp. To my surprise, Gina was lying in my bed, asleep. She was fully clothed and curled up in the fetal position on top of my blanket. I hadn't seen much of her lately which saddened me, but I figured she must be happy with Evan. Her presence here, tonight, left me perplexed, to say the least. I sat on the edge of the bed and gently pulled the hair from her face. Victoria said that she didn't think Gina was pretty, but in eyes, she was nothing short of beautiful.

"Gina, Angel, wake up," I said softly, as I rubbed her arm.

She opened her eyes and as soon as recognition registered, she spoke. "Oh, Nate, me and Evan had a huge fight!" she lamented.

"What did you fight about?" I asked calmly.

"It started when I complained that every time he has a day off, he goes fishing with Rob instead of spending the day with me. He told me if I wanted to spend time with him, I should come fishing with him. I don't _like _to fish!" she whined. "Fish are icky!"

I couldn't help but smile. She was so adorable. "Sweetheart, that's not a reason to fight. Just go with him. You don't even have to touch the fish. Just hold the pole and if you catch one, let him take it off the line."

"He said I was controlling. He said we never have sex when he wants it. He said we only have it when I want it."

"Don't, you want to have sex with Evan?"

"Sometimes, but he thinks that just because he's horny, I'm supposed to jump on him."

"So, what did you say to him?"

"I told him that you told me that I didn't have to do anything that I didn't want to do."

"Oh shit!—what did he say to that?" This was serious to her, but I thought it quite humorous. I tried to hide my smile.

She started to cry. "He said maybe I should go and fuck you."

My smile disappeared. I pulled her into my arms and let her cry.

"I'm sorry, Angel."

She looked at me. "Do you think I'm controlling?"

"Yes, but it's one of the things I love about you."

"What should I do?"

"I'd say leave him and stay with me, but after a week, you'd probably be very disappointed."

"Why do you think I'd be disappointed?"

"Because I'm still obsessed with Wanda and truth be told, if given the chance, I'd stray if the opportunity arose, and you deserve better than that."

Her head was pressed against my chest as she spoke as if she didn't want to see my face when I answered her next question. "But—you'd make love to me right now if I asked you to?"

"Angel, never underestimate my lust for you."

She lifted her head from my chest and her eyes met mine. "Make love to me."

"What about Evan?"

"I'm just following orders," she whispered.

I held her face tenderly in my hands. "Angel, I would, but I don't have any condoms and I don't trust myself to pull out in time."

She reached into her pocket and produced three small square packages. "I do."

I stared into her hand as I spoke. "I know I should say 'no', but I don't want to." In the next second, my lips were pressed to her lips and the electricity was palpable. I slid my hand under her shirt and cupped my hand under her breast. I was extremely happy to be given the chance to touch her again. I plunged my tongue into her mouth and tasted her sweetness. My dick responded immediately and I decided, at that moment, that nothing would stop me from satisfying her.

I stopped kissing her just long enough to pull her shirt over her head. I kissed her again as I reached around and undid her bra. I pulled back before removing it because I wanted to see her breasts as they emerged from her bra. I was not disappointed. I stared at her marvelous globes with the perfectly placed nipples like a kid staring at the sweet confections in a candy shop.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful your breasts are?"

She smiled. "As a matter of fact, I think you have. Evan is not a breast man, He likes my ass. He prefers to do it doggie style. Maybe that's why I don't enjoy the sex as much with him as I do with you."

"He doesn't know about your past?"

"No, and I don't want him to. If he falls in love with me, I don't want it to be because he feels sorry for me."

"Let me make love to you."

I backed off the bed and stripped my clothes off. She did the same. My dick was now only at half mast after the reminder that she disliked doing it doggie style for reasons I didn't like to think about. I crept over the top of her and kissed her gently before moving to her breasts where I spent an inordinate amount of time kissing, licking, and suckling on them.

"Nate?"

"Yes, my angel?"

"I want to make you happy."

"You do make me happy."

"No, I want to suck your dick."

I chuckled and smiled broadly. "Those words are like magic to my ears."

"I want you to stand while I do this."

"You sure are controlling," I joked.

"Ha ha! Very funny."

I practically jumped off the bed. Gina followed and placed my pillow on the floor at my feet. She kneeled on the pillow and looked up at me.

"I'll try not to spill any this time."

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about it."

"But it's your pillow!" she pointed out.

"I can change the pillow case, babe."

She seemed satisfied with my answer and she went to work on me. I can only assume that the men she pleased in the past had taught her all the tricks of the trade, and she had me fighting the urge to ejaculate pretty early in the game. By the time she was done with me, I was incredibly satisfied. No other female in my life experiences seemed to love pleasing me the way she did.

I took her hands and helped her to her feet. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her passionately. "Now, how am I supposed to satisfy you?"

She gave me a sly look. "We have until five AM."

"You don't have to leave if you don't want to."

She shook her head. "You set the rules and I intend to abide by them."

I lay on the bed and she cuddled into me. I slowly brushed the tips of my fingers along her breast. The prior conversation crept back into my head.

"Do you think that I love you because I feel sorry for you?"

She lifted her head and looked at me. "You love me?"

"Of course, I love you. Why do you think I've been trying to let you go? I hate hurting you."

"Doesn't it hurt you to know that I'm in a romantic relationship with Evan?"

"Yes, but I can take the pain. You've had enough pain in your life."

"Don't hate me, but I wish Wanda never came back."

We lay in silence for a while. Finally, I kissed her forehead.

"Tonight, it's just you and me, and I haven't satisfied you yet."

"Oh, Mr. Downey, I look forward to it."

I spent the next twenty minutes between her legs teasing her, licking her, and nibbling at her G-spot as I listened to her coo and moan. I used my finger to penetrate her just enough to make her squirm. Her warm fluids dribbled down my finger and I could taste her sweet ambrosia. The sound of her angelic voice excited me, and by the time she cried out in ecstasy, I was ready to take her. I scooted to my knees and straddled her.

"Are you ready?"

"I'm going to be tight. Evan's not like you."

"Just tell me to stop if I hurt you."

"Come on, big boy. Give me all you've got."

With that, I parted her legs and let my big boy tunnel his way into her warm, tight pussy. She felt damned good. Just as I was getting my groove on, I looked at her face and tears were forming in her eyes. _Shit!_

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Nothing, I just—love you," she said softly.

"I love you, too, Angel."

I leaned down and kissed her to reassure her. I had lost the rhythm, but she grabbed a firm hold of my ass and pulled me into her until I was focused again. I tried like hell to keep myself from coming, but those beautiful breasts were standing at attention and my body was betraying me.

Suddenly, without warning, she cried out. "Oooooh, my—God!"

That was it. I lost it in one glorious shot of jism that sent a shiver through my body. I let out a low guttural groan and then collapsed on top of her. She recovered before I did, and she was giddy.

"Let's go to the house and get something to eat!" she squealed.

"You can't be serious!" I said as I rolled off of her.

"I'm hungry! Aren't you hungry?"

"No, I'm just tired. I have to be at the worksite at seven."

"Oh, please, please?"

She was so exuberant. How could I deny this wonderful creature?

I sighed. "Put your clothes on."

"Thank you, Nathan!" She leaned in to kiss me quickly, and I pulled her back to kiss her passionately. She pulled away still tasting her lower lip.

"Nothing fancy. Something quick, and then we're out."

"Are you afraid someone will see us?"

"No, but when I came to my room tonight, my intention was to sleep. You changed that."

"Forget it then, we don't have to go," she said in a pouty voice.

"No way, Miss Martyr. You want food—we'll get food."

It was a cool night for July. The night creatures were chirping and croaking. The stars were shining brightly, and the moon was nearly full. It was a beautiful night, and I was happy to have this lovely lady on my arm. As soon as we got in the house, we tiptoed through the living room. Burns and Wanda were gone. Only Ian remained in the house. Once we were in the kitchen, Gina went straight to the freezer and pulled out the ice cream.

"This is what I missed most when I was on the run." She took two bowls from the cabinet and filled them. She took a bite of the frozen treat, and her face transmitted what appeared to be yet another orgasm, albeit one of a different kind.

"My favorite is mint chocolate chip, but Burns never gets that flavor." She took another bite and spoke with her mouth full. "This is good, too."

"All you have to do is ask him to get it for you."

"I never know when he's going, so I always forget to ask."

"I'll make sure he gets it on his next trip."

"Thank you, Nathan."

Suddenly, her eyes blew up like saucers. "Oh, you know what?"

"What?"

"Burns's room is empty!"

"It is."

"Make love to me in his bed!"

I creased my eyebrows. "When?"

"Now!"

For a second, I thought I was with Nadia. Gina was full of energy and ready for more sex.

"Gina, I don't think…"

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun! Have you ever made love to anyone in his bed?"

"No, but it's _his _bed."

"Nate, please?" She was back to giving me the pouty face.

"You just finished telling me that you and Evan fought over sex, or in his opinion, the lack thereof. Is this to get back at him because I don't want him to know about tonight."

"Tonight, there is no Evan. It's just you and me. I don't know when I'll get to make love to you again, and I don't want to waste a minute of our time together."

I thought about it for a minute. I knew from my experiences with Nadia that I could easily go another round with Gina. If we went into Burns's room, I could leave her there, and Evan could assume that she spent the whole night there alone, pining for him.

"Under one condition." I tucked my hand under her chin and looked directly into her eyes. "You spend the rest of the night in Burns's room, and in the morning, you try to makeup with Evan."

"What if I don't want to make up with Evan?"

"Gina, I love you and I love making love to you, but I would be lying if I said I wanted to go public with a relationship. I'm pretty sure Evan will have a change of heart and want you back."

"Okay, I'll stay in the room, but I'll decide what, if anything, I want to do about my relationship with Evan."

"Fair enough."

She placed her arms around my neck. "You can do me doggie—if you want."

"Sorry, I prefer to see your beautiful face." Okay, so it was her breasts I loved to look at, but it never hurts to compliment a girl on what she deems to be her worst asset. I scooped her into my arms and carried her into the bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and took stock of the room.

"Gee, I've never been in Burns's room before. It's pretty plain."

"Burns is a humble man. I don't think he would want to flaunt his lifestyle over the humans on the mountain."

"I suppose."

I set the alarm for six and then locked the back door. When I returned, Gina was lying seductively on the bed in her panties. My clothes were on the floor in seconds flat. After another hour of foreplay and lovemaking, we were finally tucked into bed in a spoon position. The last time I glanced at the clock, it said one forty-eight.

Six AM is really early when you've had a marathon night of sex. I knew the guys usually started arriving to the kitchen around six-thirty, so I needed to vacate Burns's room before I literally got caught with my pants down.

I shook Gina awake. "Gina, angel, I have to go to work."

"What time is it?"

"Six. I just wanted you to know that I'll treasure last night, and no matter what happens between you and Evan, I'll always love you."

She pulled herself to her knees and I held her. She started to cry. "I hate this."

"I know you do. That's why I tried to give you the space you need."

"This is _not _good-bye," she lamented as I wiped the tears from her face.

"I hope not. Let's just say, 'until our paths cross favorably again'."

"I love you, Nathan Downey."

"I know."

I went to the bottom drawer and pulled out a set of clean clothes that I kept as a spare in his room. I also made it a point to take the trash bag with the condom from his waste basket.

It was still quiet in the house. I unlocked the back door and headed into the bathroom for a shower. Once I was alone and under the water, my emotions finally got the better of me. Sadness crept over me, and I stood under the shower until the water ran cold. I knew if I had a half a brain in my head, I would go to her and claim her for my own and forget about Wanda. My problem was Wanda had professed her love for me, and I clung to the outside chance that Ian would do something stupid like cheat on her. I knew that Holly had a huge crush on him, but I had also seen Victoria focused on him on more than one occasion with her sketchpad during baseball practice. Victoria was my best friend with the exception of Burns, and it wouldn't kill me to see her happy with the likes of Ian. As a matter of fact, physically, she could probably handle him.

After my shower, I smelled coffee coming from the kitchen. I figured Ian was up. I sauntered in and was surprised to find Victoria pulling bacon and eggs out of the fridge.

"What are you doing up?" I asked.

"I had a nightmare. I couldn't go back to sleep."

"Need a hug?"

"No, I'm okay now. I went to your room, but you were already gone."

"Yeah, I got up early, so I could shower."

She looked at me with skepticism. "I thought I'd make breakfast for the crew."

Now, I looked at her skeptically. After all, Wanda was gone, and Ian was all alone. I grinned at her. "You have a thing for Ian, don't you?"

"No, I don't!" she snapped back.

Before I could reply, Evan came flying into the kitchen. He was pointing at me in a threatening manner. "You son-of-a-bitch! I'll kill you!" He looked around the room. "Where is she?" he bellowed as he came at me and shoved me backwards up against the kitchen counter.

I defended myself the best that I could under the circumstances. "What is your problem?" I said as I pushed back at him. "She came to me and said you had a fight. I told her to sleep in Burns's room."

"I checked your room late last night and you weren't there. I knew you were fucking her!"

At that moment, Victoria stepped between us. She was taller than both of us and she spoke with authority. "If you must know, the reason he wasn't in his room is because he was with me." She placed her hands on her hips for emphasis. Then she turned to me and spoke. "I'm sorry, Nate. I know you didn't want anyone to know, but I'm not going to let you get into a fight because he thought you slept with his girl."

She amazed me. She figured it out and protected me. I reached out and took her hand in mine. "It's okay. I hope Evan will respect our wishes and keep this quiet." I stepped forward and addressed Evan. "Victoria and I are not a couple. We are just friends."

Evan looked at us long and hard. He spoke in a normal manner. "Gina's in Burns's room?"

"Yes."

Evan turned and left the room. Victoria had saved the day.

She shook her head at me. "I can't believe you."

"What?' I said innocently.

"You are so stupid."

I grinned. "Stupid, but very happy."

"Why don't you just ask her to be your girlfriend and forget Wanda? You know Wanda is never going to leave Ian."

The pain and anguish from the shower returned to my face. "It's like you said, 'I'm stupid'. Can we not talk about this anymore?"

"Fine." She placed her hand on my face and kissed me on the cheek. Then, she turned and began placing the bacon in the pan.

I put my arms around her from behind and squeezed her. "That you for saving my ass," I whispered.

"You're lucky you have a nice ass," she reciprocated.

"I didn't know you noticed."

"I noticed."

At that moment, Evan reentered the room and caught me with my arms wrapped around Tori's waist. It was perfect. It cemented the idea that something may be going on between us.

I backed away and faced Evan. "So?"

"So, she said she's sleeping and she wasn't in the mood to be bitched at."

"Do you bitch at her?"

"No! She's the bitchy one!"

I had witnessed Gina's mood swings first hand, but I also knew that with me, it was because she wanted us to be a couple. I couldn't imagine her reasons for bitching at him—unless it was because she was frustrated by the fact that she couldn't be with me. "Yeah, I wouldn't tell her that if I were you."

"She said she doesn't want me to go fishing. I happen to enjoy fishing."

As much as I wanted to throw my two cents in, I knew it would only lead to a path that would bring us right back to Gina's obsession with me.

"I don't know what to tell you. I don't have much experience with girlfriends."

"Yeah, why is that?" he asked.

"I guess I like my freedom."

As the words came out of my mouth, I realized that I might have planted the idea of freedom in his head. Victoria shot me a look, and I shut up.

"Need some help?" I asked as I turned my attention back to Tori.

"Yes, if you could make toast, that would be great."

And so, I helped Tori prepare breakfast for the guys. We were down two good men with the departure of Burns and Kyle. The first building was complete. That left six of us to work on the second building.

Ian entered the kitchen, and he looked like shit.

"You okay?' I asked.

"Yeah, couldn't sleep."

I grinned. "Well, we'll work you extra hard today, so you'll sleep like a rock tonight."

Rob and Tom entered the room.

"About that, I need to talk to all of you."

"O-kaaay." I said. "Carl should be here soon."

A minute later, Carl entered and Victoria handed out the first two plates of food to me and Evan. As we sat, Ian stood at the head of the table and spoke.

"There's a reason why Burns didn't return the backhoe. I spoke to him, and he has given me permission to build a house for my bride on this land. So, if you don't mind, while you guys are working on the second building, I am going to take the backhoe behind the baseball field and begin clearing the land."

My brain nearly exploded. "Why didn't I know about this?" I demanded.

"Honestly, I thought that Burns had told you."

I was livid. "You know, it's really pissing me off that these things are not cleared through me. Maybe you don't want me as your leader anymore."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go behind your back. You just haven't been around much, and I couldn't say anything with Wanda around."

"But you managed to find the time to talk to Burns!" I argued with my fork in my hand flailing through the air.

"Because we live in the same house! JESUS! Forget it! I won't build the damn house!" With that, he stormed out of the kitchen.

Victoria glared at me. No words needed to be spoken.

"All right! I'm going!" I responded to her.

I caught up to him on the path to the buildings.

"Ian! Wait up!"

He turned viciously. I stopped abruptly knowing the effects of his wrath first hand.

"What, Nate? I'm pissed right now. I really wanted to do this."

"I don't want you to _not _build a house for Wanda. I just hate that my opinion was left out of the equation."

"Again, I'm sorry. I just went to Burns in his room out of the blue while Wanderer was showering. It was just a few days ago. It was a quick conversation."

"How do you expect to complete the house and the second building before the wedding?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm hoping that the fact that I started it will be enough to make her happy."

"Why do you think you need a house to make her happy?"

He sighed heavily. "It's just that—I guess I feel like one false move, and it could all come crashing down, and I could lose her to you."

I creased my eyebrows. "I've barely even talked to her these last two weeks!" I said in my defense.

"It doesn't mean she doesn't think about you," he lamented.

"She thinks about me?"

"I don't know, but I could see that she's been avoiding you, and it wasn't by my order. I can only assume she does it because she doesn't trust herself to be with you—and that scares the shit out of me."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I know you love her, and I want you to help me build the house."

"You can't be serious."

"Serious as a heart attack."

"Shit, Ian! You're asking for a lot."

"I know, but if we can do this, maybe the next house we build will be for your sister and Tom and little Priscilla."

He would have to say that, especially since Kim told me she wants to have another baby. A house would be awesome for them.

"Okay, but you promise the next house is Kim's?"

"Deal!" He held out his hand and we shook on it.


	32. Chapter 32

**I've spent so much time writing this story. I don't have the greatest following and the reviews are few and far between, but I love Nate and I love this story. I hope those of you who are reading love it too.**

THE NAKED TRUTH

07/31/2002 – It's been two weeks since I promised Ian I would help him build a house for Wanda. Since that time, he and I have been spending our days working with the others on the second building, and then we head to the place behind the baseball field where we have been working through dinner until seven clearing the trees he knocked down with the backhoe, as well as the rocks and underbrush. Then we eat dinner, and he manages to coach the kids most days. Even the rain hasn't stopped us. Twice we worked in the rain, pulling rocks from the mud.

I haven't seen much of Victoria and even less of Gina. It took her a few days after that perfect night of lovemaking to let Evan back in her good graces, but the point is; she did take him back. I imagine that if I had gone to her then, she would be in my arms now. Another missed opportunity on my behalf. I tried to rationalize in my mind that I was helping Ian because in the end my sister, who I loved dearly, would benefit from all of this, but the truth was I wanted Wanda to know that I had a hand in giving her all the creature comforts I could provide for her on this mountain.

Speaking of Wanda, she always called Ian on my phone; even though Burns returned a week ago. This gave me the chance to talk to her as well. I always called her Beautiful. She always asked about Ian. I guess she saw me as her spy. I told her that Holly was again spending as much time with Ian as she could; however, I also said that Tori seemed to make it her job to make sure Holly didn't get too close. I remember on one occasion, a cold front had come in suddenly. Holly looked to Ian for warmth. She wrapped herself around him as they walked from the field back to the house. Tori had been wearing a sweatshirt, and she took it off, offered it to Holly, and managed to get between Holly and Ian. It was obvious to all of us who were walking back to the house that Tori had been protecting Wanda's interest.

Victoria has been making friends and keeping busy. She asked me if she could paint the insides of the dugouts. I told her to have at it. I still try to walk her to her room whenever I'm still up. It gives us a chance to talk. The few nights that I haven't been dog tired, I managed to play a little pool with Rachel. She and I still exchange glances now and then when she uses her pool cue in a suggestive manner, like sliding it up my leg when no one is looking. I know she is just waiting for the perfect set up to jump my bones again, and I hate to admit it, but I'd welcome it.

It's been a month since I've been to the gypsies and I seriously need to make the trip. I'm worried about Nadia. I'm also curious as to how I will be received now that they, with the exception of Klaudia, think I'm married. I suppose I could tell them that things aren't going well and at the moment we are not sharing a bed. It would give Nadia a ray of hope and it would get me into Nadia's bed.

I met the rest of the guys for breakfast as we had done every day over the last two weeks. We hadn't taken a single day off, and I could see the wear on everyone's faces. I thought the announcement of my trip to the gypsies might be cause for a day off for them. Victoria and Gina were both in the kitchen rustling up some breakfast for us. It had become their normal routine.

"Okay, guys. I have an announcement to make," I said rubbing my hands together. All conversation stopped and all eyes were on me. "I need to take another trip to the gypsies, and I'd like to go tonight if Burns can get me the supplies I need today."

Ian smiled. "You going to see your little girlfriend? I hear she's young."

I could feel the burn of the eyes behind me belonging to Gina and Victoria.

"She's not my girlfriend, and she's not that young." My eyes bore into Ian. "Your fiancée is barely legal." I turned to Evan. "And your girlfriend is all of twenty." I stepped back. "Every one of you guys with the exception of Carl has female companionship on a regular basis. Don't harass me if I happen to get lucky once in a while." Then I leaned across the table at Evan. I gave him the most evil look. "Maybe you'd like to go in my place."

He raised his hands and shot a look at Gina. "No, I'm good."

"Carl? You want to take the trip?"

"Hell no. She almost killed me the last time I went. I can't keep up with that!"

I put my fingers over my mouth to contain the smile that was fighting its way to my lips.

"I'll go with you," Gina said from behind me.

I looked at her in shock. Then I remembered the conversation with her. She knew I had told the gypsies that I was married—to her.

"If she goes, then I'm going, too," Evan replied.

"Fine, you two go. I'll stay here. Say 'hi' to Nadia for me." It took only the briefest of seconds for Evan to figure out that if he took Gina with him, it would only serve to piss off Nadia. Nadia would expect to jump him, and if she couldn't, she sure as hell would let it be known that she had in the past. That could ruin his relationship considering the last time he went, he was already seeing Gina. He was screwed.

In Gina's mind, Nadia would go without if she went. She knew that Nadia thought we were married, and knowing Gina, she would play that for all it was worth.

In my mind, I would get on top of Nadia one way or the other. I knew I could count on Klaudia for that. Gina would get a piece of me, too. This could be win-win situation for me. I just needed to get Gina on board.

"I should go alone. It will be quickest that way," I said knowing full well Gina wasn't about to back down.

"No. I really want to meet the gypsies," Gina reiterated.

"I don't want you going," Evan declared.

"You do not own me. I can do whatever I want, right, Nate?" she asked turning her head from Evan to me.

"I told you when you came here that you make your own decisions," I reiterated.

"Where the hell will she sleep?" Evan asked.

"I'll stay with Nadia, and Gina can take the couch in the main part of the mine." I turned to Gina. "Are you okay with that?"

I knew Gina was weighing this option even if she didn't think this would actually play out in this manner. "Sure."

"I have to warn you. They live in squalor. It's not very comfortable."

"I've lived in squalor before. I've lived in a drainage pipe," she declared.

"It's settled then. We leave tonight after dinner. I think we should work only a half day, and you all should take tomorrow off. You all deserve a little time off."

"I get a day off, and you're not going to be here?" Evan complained.

Gina looked straight at him and without missing a beat she said, "You can go fishing."

It took everything I had in me to not burst out laughing.

That evening, as Burns and I loaded the coolers and the food into the van, Evan pleaded with Gina one last time not to make the trip. I had a full box of condoms in my bag. At this point, I wasn't sure who I would be using them on, but I was just hoping to use them. My preference was to use them with Gina, but I needed to make sure that Nadia had just enough of me to keep her away from Niko.

Before we got in the van, I gave Gina one final warning.

"I need to warn you that any time we leave this mountain we are taking the chance of getting caught," I said sternly.

"I know."

"Okay, let's go."

We drove in silence for the first half hour. I was the one to break the silence.

"So, tell me the real reason for wanting to take this trip."

"I'm your wife. Why wouldn't I want to go?" she said bluntly.

"About that. You know, I am still going to sleep with Nadia. What I didn't tell you was that Klaudia knows the truth. Nadia's nephew, Niko, is seventeen and his hormones are raging. The only single girl in that clan is Nadia. He's been watching her. Nadia has a very strong sexual appetite. I don't want her to hook up with him. If she gets pregnant, lord only knows what the child may be like. Their blood lines are too close."

"Do you want me to sleep with him?" she asked.

"What?"

"This Niko. Do you want me to sleep with him?"

"God, no!"

"Well, you are sacrificing yourself for her. I thought you wanted me to do the same."

"No. I would never ask you to prostitute yourself out. All the gypsies with the exception of Klaudia think we are married. Tomorrow, I want you to take a long walk with Klaudia claiming that you always take a one to two hour hike every day on our mountain to stay in shape and you want to see the countryside. That will give me enough time to satisfy Nadia before you get back."

Gina's face fell and she looked angry.

"Come on, angel. I have to deal with you and Evan every day. This is a one shot deal for the sake of an innocent. We will have two nights together."

"She doesn't seem very innocent to me."

"Just because she is sexually active doesn't mean she isn't innocent. Their clan is very small and Stanislaw rules them his way." I proceeded to give Gina the breakdown of the family and my plan of taking Niko and hopefully Nadia back to the mountain once Niko turned eighteen. "So, you see, my bringing you with me will only help to prove to them that living on the mountain is a good thing. You can tell them about how you lived before you were captured, and Burns and I came to get you. I need you to get Ludmila on board." I placed my hand gently on her neck. "Will you do that for me?"

"We'll be sleeping together like a real husband and wife?"

"Yes, you will have me one hundred percent, but I need you not to be all clingy in front of the others."

She took my hand in hers. "Okay."

Gina eventually fell asleep. I woke her as we pulled into the clearing in front of the mine.

"Gina, sweetheart, wake up. We're here."

"I'm awake." I leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. "Now, I need you to get out of the van slowly and follow me. When we stop walking, I need you to do several things. First, you need to take off your shirt and throw it on the ground in front of you. Then you need to pull down your pants."

"I'm wearing a thong."

"That's just fantastic. Everyone will get to see what a great ass my wife has."

"I didn't know!" she said in her defense.

"Okay, once your pants are down, put your hands behind your head like this and turn slowly in a complete circle." I raised my arms behind my head as one would do when they were being arrested.

"Why are we doing this?" she asked.

"They are very careful. This let's them know who we are, and that we are not carrying any weapons."

"Okay."

We exited the van and Gina mimicked everything I did as the heavy duty flashlights shone upon us. As we turned, the cat calls came from the darkness.

"Can you turn around again?"

"Come on, Dominik! Give me a break. That's my wife you're gawking at."

There was laughter beyond the light. "Hey, we don't get to see many bodies like that!"

"I'm sure Klaudia will be happy to know you are staring at another naked woman."

"She's not naked, but we can wait."

I leaned to Gina. "Pull up you pants."

I pulled up my pants and Dominik and Niko stepped from the shadows.

"Fuck! Niko's with you?"

"Yep, and look! He's sportin' wood."

"Shut up!" Niko croaked.

I reached down and picked up Gina's shirt. I pulled it over her head. "I'm sorry about this," I said to her.

"It's okay, he's cute," she responded.

"See that?" Dominik said to Niko. "She thinks you're cute."

"This is my wife. She thinks I'm cute," I blurted out. It was jealousy, plain and simple.

"Chill, man. No one is going to jump your wife."

I reached out and took Gina's hand. "Sorry, I'm exhausted. I need to sleep."

"Are you going to introduce us?"

"Right. This is Gina. Gina, this is Dominik and Niko."

"Well, come on. I'll put Nadia in with Klaudia and you can take her room." He turned to Niko. "Go tell Nadia that Nate and his wife are here, and she needs to give up her room."

"I brought sheets and pillows. They're in the van. I thought you all might need some new ones." I went back out to the van and grabbed the two sets of sheets and the pillows. I handed one set to Dominik and carried the other to Nadia's room. I knew she wouldn't have sheets on her bed. I was surprised to find that she did. I handed the sheets to Gina and she placed them over the existing sheet. The pillows already had the pillow cases. I had brought a light blanket as well. I wondered what Nadia's reaction was to hear that I had brought my wife with me. I figured she was probably pissed.

The light in the room was dimly lit. I stripped down to my boxers and collapsed onto the mattress. I really was tired.

Gina stripped down to her panties and climbed in next to me. She snuggled up to me. "Are you too tired to make love to me?"

"Angel, I'm pretty tired."

"Is it that you're too tired or would you rather be here with Nadia?"

"Gina, please. If I didn't want to be with you, then I wouldn't have let you come."

"I thought you needed me to help convince the elders to let your girlfriend come to the mountain."

"I'm not going to fight with you." I got up from the mattress and grabbed the lamp.

"Where are you going?" she demanded.

"To sleep on the couch."

"Why?"

"Evan was right. You're too controlling."

"I'm not controlling! You said I would get one hundred percent of you, and now you are going to run out on me?"

"I don't know! Listen, I have to go talk to Nadia."

"Evan!" she blurted out.

I stopped dead in my tracks. "Evan?"

"You're acting just like him!"

"Oh yeah? Tell me what would he do now?"

Gina pulled her legs in, so she was sitting Indian style, and she pulled her pillow to her chest. She started to cry. "Go. Go be with her."

I took two steps towards the door and stopped. "Gina, give me five minutes, okay?"

She continued to cry. I headed for Klaudia's room.

As soon as I entered, I called out to Nadia.

"Nate?" she replied.

"Listen," I said as I kneeled on the mattress. "I wanted to explain why I brought Gina. I think that she can convince your family to seriously consider allowing you to come to the mountain."

"But I can't spend any time with you," she lamented.

"We'll find a way. Maybe Klaudia can help keep her away for a bit tomorrow. Gina likes to take long hikes."

"I'll see what I can do," Klaudia said from the far side of the bed.

"Good, do you have any condoms?"

"Yes, you left some here," she said cheerfully. I leaned forward to give Nadia a peck, and she wrapped herself around me like a snake. She pressed her lips to mine and kissed me long and hard.  
>Her breath was not its best. I pulled away. "I have to go. She's waiting for me."<p>

I found my way back to Nadia's room, and Gina was lying with her back to my side of the bed. I could see her body hitch, so I knew she was still crying. I lay back in the bed and wrapped my arm around her. "I'm here for you, angel. Do you want me to make love to you?"

Her back was still to me. "No, you need your sleep," she answered without turning around.

"If you don't want this, then we'll sleep. I won't force myself on you."

She rolled towards me. "You said you were tired." She looked so pathetic. There was something about Gina that always made me feel like I was looking at a little girl, and it made me smile to be able to take her out of her sadness. If I could turn that frown into a smile, I would feel like a hero. Stupid, I know, but that's the best way to describe it.

"I'm getting my second wind," I whispered. I slid my hand up to her magnificent breasts and waited for her response.

She ran her fingers through my hair. "You really want me?"

Rather than answer, I leaned in and closed my lips over hers again and again. I wrapped my arms around her and rolled onto my back so she was on top of me. "Mmmmm, this is much better," I murmured.

She smiled, and my world got just a little bit better. I made love to Gina and more importantly, she made love to me. She was tender, and her touch filled me with emotions that no other woman had ever managed to invoke. When I was inside her, I felt like I was truly hers. The bad part was she belonged to Evan and returning her to him would leave yet another scar on my heart.

It was early in the morning when Gina and I fell asleep desperately clinging to one another.

When I awoke, I was alone. I dressed quickly and headed to the entrance of the mines. I found Gina sitting with all of the elder gypsies.

"Nate!" Ludmilla called out. "Come and join us. Your lovely wife has been telling us about how you met."

"I will. I need to relieve myself."

I walked off towards the woods to find a tree to do my business. When I returned, I saw that Stanislaw who had previously been sitting next to Gina had moved leaving a spot for me. I stepped into the circle and sat cross-legged next to Gina. I kissed her gently. "Are my friends treating you well?"

"Yes. I understand how these people invaded your heart."

I couldn't keep the genuine smile from my face. "So, what have you been telling them?"

Ludmilla handed me a cup of coffee.

"She told us that the day she was captured by the souls, she thought her life was over, and instead she met her savior," Klaudia said boldly. "It's obvious how much she loves you." Klaudia's eyes met mine conveying the truth in her statement.

I pulled Gina's hand to my lips and kissed it. "She holds my heart as well," I replied sincerely.

I realized that Nadia was missing, and so were Niko and Roman. "Where are Nadia and Niko?"

"Nadia is taking her bath. Niko and Roman are off somewhere."

I couldn't hide the concern on my face that Niko was hidden in the shadows watching his aunt as he satisfied himself. Gina placed her hand lovingly on my thigh.

"So, continue your story," Edyta urged. "You were saying that you left with your teacher."

Ludmilla handed me a plate filled with the spoils from the cooler, bacon, sausage, eggs, and bread. "This looks delicious," I said, directing my comment to her.

As I ate, Gina told them her story. She included the part about being raped at the tender age of fourteen for the first time by John, the leader of the small clan she had aligned herself with. It was difficult to eat because my stomach tightened as I heard her words. She was strong, and she spoke of her atrocities as if they were but a distant memory. She mentioned that when she arrived on the mountain and found out how many men were there; her fear was that she would again be passed around like a play toy. She smiled brightly when she announced that everyone on the mountain treated each other as family, with respect and dignity.

Nadia appeared from the woods as Gina sung her praises of the mountain. She was wearing a pretty floral dress that flowed loosely from her bare breasts. Nadia rarely wore any undergarments, at least in my presence. Gina's hand was still resting on the inside of my thigh and I felt her fingers dig in.

"That's a very pretty dress," Gina said calmly.

"I love dresses!" Nadia crooned. "Niko got this for me last week when he and Aleksander went on a raid."

My eyes caught Nadia's, and I hoped that this gift was not in exchange for services rendered. She did look beautiful in the dress, and I imagine Niko was pleased with himself.

"Nadia, sit. Our guest is sharing her stories with us," Stanislaw ordered.

Nadia did as she was told. She sat next to her father, and I saw her eyes fall to the hand that tightly clutched at my thigh.

"Continue, please," Stanislaw again commanded.

"Well, I was saying that Nathan rules his mountain with compassion and love. His people respect him, and he never makes a decision without considering the others. He told me that I never had to do anything that I didn't want to do. It was refreshing to have control of my own life again."

"Then why did you give up your control to Nate?" Nadia asked.

She creased her eyebrows together. "I didn't give up control."

"Sure you did, as husband, he gets what he demands," she replied.

I could see that this was a recipe for disaster. I interrupted the impending feud. "I would never expect Gina to do anything she didn't want to do. Anything she gives me, I take as a gift of her love."

"Do you think Nadia would find a husband if she went to the mountain?" Edyta asked.

"There are several young men on the mountain that are single. Blake and Carlos come to mind, and I am told that there are others in the caverns in the desert although I haven't met them."

"What about Evan? He is a good lover, and I think I could marry him," Nadia crooned.

I'm sure Nadia said it to try and make me jealous, but Gina's face changed in a moment to shock. I knew she was working hard to reel in her emotions.

I spoke the words that she could not. "He's been seeing someone these last few months."

"Oh—that explains it."

"Explains what?" Gina replied.

"The last time he was here. When we fucked, I knew his heart wasn't in it."

Gina's face turned bright red. She was about to explode. I got to my feet and pulled Gina with me. "Let's go wash up and brush our teeth."

Gina was silent. I think if she spoke, it would be nothing short of screaming. I dragged her to Nadia's room where our bags were. I turned to her and took a deep breath.

"Now, before you freak out…"

I got no more out. Gina went ballistic. "He fucked that tramp while he was seeing me? That son-of-a-bitch! I'll kill him!"

"Listen, I sent him here. I knew Nadia would expect him to sleep with her. I was pissed off at you, and I wanted to see if he would do it. He hadn't even slept with you yet. I had Ice to deal with, and Burns was at the caverns. You were being a bitch..."

She hauled off and slapped me in the face. "I hate you!" She tried to leave the room, but I grabbed her by the wrist.

"You hate me?" My mind immediately went back to the last time she had uttered those words.

"Let go of me!" She ripped her wrist from me and stormed out of the room.

"Fuck!" I raked my fingers through my hair. "What the hell was I thinking bringing her here with me?" I muttered to myself. I considered telling them the truth. I was not in love with Gina, and I wasn't married to her or anyone for that matter. The truth was I didn't want to be beholden to any woman, EVER! I snatched my bag off the floor and retrieved my toothbrush, soap, and towel. I needed a little time to myself. A bath would help.

I walked into the bright sunshine and I was blind for a few seconds, but I could hear Gina's voice.

"Nate told me that you like to run around the lake. Can you still run? Or we could take a long hike."

My sight returned and I glanced at Gina before I continued towards the lake. "Have a nice walk, honey," I called over my shoulder.

I bathed quickly and returned to the mine. Nadia was sitting seductively on the bedraggled couch in the living area of the mine.

"She's gone," Nadia said as she pulled up her dress revealing her pussy.

I scooped her off the couch and carried her to the room where I had made love to Gina only hours before. I should have felt guilty, but the argument had left me feeling vengeful. I dropped her gently on the bed. She was smiling. I stood above her and opened my pants. My dick was limp. "Nadia, I am going to need a little help here."

She scooted to her knees as I took off my pants. There were no words spoken. She took my cock in her hands and began to lick it. I closed my eyes and tried to empty my mind of all things Gina, and only concentrate on the feel of her lips and tongue caressing my dick. It felt good. My erection began to grow. Now if this had been Gina, she would have kept it up until I exploded in her mouth, but Nadia was a selfish creature. She wanted me to please her. The first time my dick slammed her in the back of the throat, she stopped and fell back on the bed. "Fuck me, Ogier."

I sucked in my breath and lower myself to the mattress. I hadn't kissed her and I didn't really want to. Unfortunately, this had become a mission and kissing her would make it too intimate. I pushed my hard on into her. She cooed with delight. In all the years that I had fucked Nadia, I hadn't felt like this since the first time when I was afraid that after she had her way with me, her brothers would kill me. I didn't want this right now. I was performing a service, like a male whore, nothing more. I lasted a long time because I was having a hard time bringing myself to orgasm, and the condom only added to the desensitization of my hard-on. She was thoroughly enjoying herself. She was well on her way to climaxing.

"Kiss me, Ogier."

I obeyed her and kissed her, but there was no passion to the kiss. It was mechanical. Luckily, Nadia attributed it to my nervousness at the possibility of being caught should Gina and Klaudia return early. I felt her pussy tighten as she reached her climax, and she cried out loudly. She hung onto my ass and pulled me into her with a vengeance. I pounded my way into her, and finally, my body overrode my mind, and I shot my wad. I was lying in a pool of sweat.

"Ogier, you are like no other," she crooned.

_No, shit. Only a bastard like me could do this to Gina._

"Hurry, you must go before she returns. I'm going to take a nap."

"Okay. Next time you will come alone, yes?"

"Yes."

She kissed me long and hard and then she was gone. I rolled to my side and curled up in a ball. I felt like shit. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Gina, and I had destroyed her. I destroyed us. I could feel the lump rise up into my throat. The tears pooled in my eyes. I fought it, but I lost the battle. I was crying. I hadn't cried since my mother had passed away. I hated feeling like this.

"Nate?" It was Gina.

I tried to hold in my sobs, but my body betrayed me. My body hitched, and the sob escaped my lips.

Gina knelt next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. "Nathan, what's wrong?"

I turned to her, my tears spilling down my cheeks. "I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to hurt you," The words were barely discernable through my tears.

"It's okay," she said softly.

"It's not okay. You hate me, and I deserve it," I blubbered.

She pulled my head into her chest. "I don't hate you. I'm in love with you."

I buried my face in her breasts and cried. I needed to let it out, and she was gracious about it. After about ten minutes of holding on to her, I lifted my head to hers and kissed her. I held the kiss for several seconds savoring her luscious lips.

"Maybe, we could try it, you and me," I said, barely above a whisper.

"What about Wanda?"

"I don't know."

"Listen, I had a chance to think while I was running with Klaudia. She's pretty awesome, you know?"

"She's a good woman. Dominik is lucky to have her."

"You have unresolved issues with Wanda. I have to admit that I love Evan. It would be wrong of me to leave him only to be hurt by you. I love you and I love it when we are together, but I don't think we should change things right now. Nadia needs you, and my involvement only convolutes things."

"Convolute? Really?" I let a small smile escape from my lips.

"I learned it last week in school," she said proudly.

"I'll always love you. You know that, right?"

"Even if by some strange turn of events, you ended up with Wanda?"

I took her hand and placed it upon my chest. "Even if I had a long and happy life with Wanda. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you taught me how to love." I cradled her face in my hands and kissed her. The kissing escalated and before I knew it we were naked in the bed. I gave myself to her willingly, and there was pure joy in the orgasm that followed.


	33. Chapter 33

**Okay, I have a lot to say. First, I want to thank Toalli and Azreal for buying my book. I am humbled that you spend money on me. I hope you like BNrynn, Gavin, and Wes. Toalli, I can't believe you read the first 142 pages in one night. **

**Next, Wondering through the Stars. I loved your review! And I would certainly check out your book, but I don't know who you are! Your review was anonymous and I couldn't search you.**

**laneykel, I thank you for your review as well. I wanted to talk about Nate, but you blocked you PM's!**

**And finally, thank you to my loyal reviewers, Ladaane, You almost bailed on me….never try to second guess me. Did ASH end they way you thought it would? Did you think Ian and Nate would be implanted? My ideas often come out of left field. Just enjoy it!**

**Thank you luxraybite, Lila, SSRAINES, and of course, Barbie. You are my loyal fans. I love you guys.**

**I'll be in New Jersey for the next 4 days, but I am going to upload the next chapter, so all I have to do on Sunday is release it. I hate to disappoint my readers….**

FRIENDS AND LOVERS

08/03/2002- I'm here at the mines with the gypsies, but I did not come alone. Gina is with me. On the one hand, it was a blessing because Gina spent the last evening telling them of her past life, and how the mountain has saved her from a life of running, starvation, and fear. Fear of being captured and fear of being raped. She and Klaudia seemed to bond quite well. Nadia probably could be great friends with Gina if it wasn't for the fact that she thinks Gina is my wife, and Nadia is so fixated on me. She follows me, trying to capture even a moment of my time. I had sex with her. I didn't say 'make love' for the simple fact that I know now that when I am with Gina, I 'make love'. With Nadia, it is a sexual act of satisfying her. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy satisfying Nadia, but the guilt is crippling. This trip has made me realize that I love Gina. It's real and it's true. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle knowing that Gina will fall back into the arms of Evan when we return to the mountain.

After two days and two nights on the mountain, Gina and I said our good-byes to the gypsies. They graciously invited Gina to return anytime. Gina replied by returning the invite to the mountain. Klaudia asked if it was at all possible to get a new mattress. She said that with the pregnancy, her back was bothering her on the mattress she and Dominik were using. I told her that I was pretty sure I could accommodate her wishes. I had managed to satisfy Nadia twice during our visit, both times when Klaudia and Gina went off together. The second time was less emotional for me, since I had Gina's blessing. I still felt guilty. I don't think Nadia felt any guilt at all. I'm not sure if it was because Nadia thinks of me as hers or if she doesn't understand the concept of guilt. She's had her way with any man that set foot in the mines from our mountain.

We arrived back at the mountain at three in the morning. Rather than wake anyone, we made the executive decision to go back my room and sleep there. I was extremely tired from the drive, but Gina had slept most of the way. She was awake now and desperate for me to make love to her one last time before our lives went back to what they were before we left the mountain. I wouldn't say 'no', I couldn't say 'no'. We were extremely gentle and passionate. Afterwards, I put on my boxers and a T-shirt. I made sure the condom that I had used was wrapped up and placed behind the dresser in case Evan had the mind to check my trashcan for evidence of our lovemaking. Gina donned her shirt and underwear. I spooned her, and that is how we fell asleep.

We were pulled from our peaceful sleep only four hours later by a loud, pounding on the door. Evan burst in as I became coherent.

"Get the hell out of his bed!" Evan roared.

"Jesus, Evan! We were asleep!"

"Yeah, in your bed!"

"We got back at three in the morning. She didn't want to wake you because she knew you needed to get up early to work with Ian," I said in her defense.

"You could have slept on the couch in the house," he pointed out.

"I slept on a dirty, lumpy couch for two nights. I'm sorry if I wanted to sleep in a comfy bed," Gina shot back.

"Is it that you wanted to sleep in the bed or did you want to sleep with him?"

She ripped the blankets off of her revealing her state of semi-undress. "I can't even believe I missed you. You're such a jerk."

"I'm a jerk? You are in the bed with Mr. Hard-on!"

She climbed on top of me. I was still under the blankets. She put her arms around my neck. "Make love to me, Nate."

I was caught between desire and fear. Fear that if I did this, Evan would never take her back, and she might hate me for it.

"Gina, we are just friends," I reminded her.

"That's it! We're through!" he bellowed.

"Good. Nadia said to say 'hi' and she misses your beautiful dick. She wants you to go next time. If my memory serves me, we were a couple the last time you went."

He stormed out of the room leaving the door open. Gina was still lying on top of me.

"Gina, what are you doing?"

"I may be guilty, but he has no right to pull the saint card on me."

"You need to go and make up with him. As far as he knows, I slept with Nadia, and you slept on the couch. Hang onto that, okay?"

"You're right. Are you going back to sleep?"

"I'd like to, but I'm afraid my brain isn't going to let me. I guess I'll get up, too." Gina slid off of me, and I pulled the blanket back revealing the hard-on that had been hidden under the covers.

Gina smiled, "Morning wood?"

"More like Gina wood. Now, get out of here."

"I love you, Nate."

"I know." The problem was she didn't love me enough to dump Evan.

The next several weeks, Gina and I remained cordial. She and Evan eventually got back together, but not without several days of volatile fights. Evan suspected that Gina had slept with me, but he had no proof. Gina, on the other hand, knew for a fact that Nadia had spent time with Evan when they had first started seeing each other. I tried to stay out of the way and poured myself into work. By day, we all worked on the bunkhouse. It was coming along nicely. Ian and I worked on the house for Wanda later in the day and evening. We were building a fireplace out of stone. It was hard work, but we placed each stone with love for Wanda. It took three weeks to complete the fireplace. It was the end of August. Wanda had been gone for six weeks, and Ian's depression was beginning to manifest itself. We were working on the house together installing the septic tank in the huge hole he had dug so many weeks ago.

"I'm worried," Ian said out of the blue after a long bout of silence.

"About what?"

"Wanda."

"Why are you worried about Wanda?"

"She's been gone six weeks. Every time I ask her if she's coming back, she comes up with some excuse not to come. It's always 'I have to get this for the wedding or I have to get that for the wedding'. Seriously, how much shit does she need?"

"She's a girl. She just wants everything to be perfect."

"Well, right now, she's off somewhere by herself. She didn't take Sunny with her. I talked to her, and she said it's a surprise. What am I supposed to think about that?"

"I don't know. Maybe she's on her way here, and she wants to surprise you."

"She left the caverns three days ago. If that was the case, she would have been here by now."

A natural fear crept inside of me. "You don't think she would turn us in, do you?"

"No, but what if there was someone out there that she met who she feels compelled to see? What if there is someone else in her life?"

"I think you're letting your imagination run away because you miss her. I miss her, too."

Another week went by. Ian borrowed my phone to call Wanda but got no answer. I imagine he assumed that she was at the caverns. Everything fell apart when Jamie called to talk to Megan. Ian and I were playing pool when the call came. He took the phone from me and asked where Wanda was. Jamie told him that Kyle and Wanda took off, and they left Sunny behind. He said they had been gone for several days. Ian ordered Jamie to go back to the caverns to get Sunny because he wanted to talk to her.

I could see the color rise up into his face. I needed to get the phone away from him before he destroyed it—again.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know, but I don't have a good feeling about this."

Victoria entered the house. "Nate, you owe me a game of backgammon."

Ian rubbed the back of his neck. "You go ahead. I need to cool off. I'm going for a walk."

"Okay, I guess I'll see you in the morning."

Victoria and I walked towards the first building that we affectionately dubbed 'the funhouse'.

"Gina and Evan seem to be getting along really well."

"Yep."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I miss her."

"That's it? You miss her?"

"What do you want me to say Victoria? I blew my chance to have her. I want her to be happy, and if Evan is that guy, then I respect that."

"Wow, that's rather gallant of you."

"I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. I'll pursue you instead. At least you're single." I said, as I hip checked her.

"Gee, I feel so special!"

"Truthfully Victoria, you've been here a few months now? Are you interested in anyone?"

"Are you asking me if I'm interested in you?"

"I don't know. I haven't had sex in awhile and I guess I'm feeling needy."

"I hear you."

"I just don't want to ruin our friendship."

"Sex would definitely change things."

"Yeah."

We entered the building and sat down to play. It was crowded. Most of the adults were either playing cards or building a puzzle. I noticed that Victoria took a good long look at Blake. He was only seventeen, but he looked older than his years. The younger crowd was at the house watching TV. It was a popular night for comedy series. Tori and I were just about finished with our first game of backgammon when my phone rang. It was Wanda.

"Hello, Beautiful!"

"Nate, where's Ian?"

"What? I don't even get a 'hello'?"

"This is an emergency. Find Ian now!"

"What's wrong? Are you all right?"

"Kyle told him that we got married."

"Oh, crap. You married Kyle?"

"NO!"

"Then why did he tell him that?"

"Cause he's stupid! Just find Ian PLEASE!"

"Okay, let me call you back."

"Hurry!"

"What going on?" Victoria asked.

"I don't know. Ian tried to call Wanda and she didn't answer. Jamie called here and told Ian that Wanda was off somewhere with Kyle. Now, Wanda is saying that Kyle told Ian that he married Wanda."

"Are you serious?"

"Kyle didn't marry her. He was just screwing with Ian's head. I need to track Ian down before he does something stupid."

"I'll come with you," Tori offered.

"No, stay here. I'll be back."

I took off to the house. I figured if Ian talked to her he must have used Burns's phone, and Burns had been in the house with the kids watching TV when I last saw him. I found Megan and Sarah in the house. They gave me the news of Burns and Ian's sudden departure. I was about to call Burns when Megan held out Burns's phone to me. _Fuck! That damn Neanderthal destroyed it._

I dialed Wanda. She answered immediately.

"Hello?"

"He's gone."

"What do you mean he's gone?"

"Megan and Sarah were in the house watching TV. They said Ian came in like a wild man and demanded the keys to the truck from Burns. Of course, Burns wasn't going to just give them to him. Ian said if Burns wouldn't give him the keys he would hot wire the truck."

"Why didn't Burns call me?"

"He couldn't. Ian destroyed the phone. I'm looking at it now. He tore it in half."

"Oh my God."

"Burns decided the only way to appease Ian was to take him to the caverns. Megan said they left in a hurry. Ian practically pushed Burns out the door. So, I guess they are coming your way, and there is no way to reach them."

"Great, then there is no way to diffuse him before he gets here."

"Sorry, Beautiful, I wish I could help."

"Nate, I gotta go."

"Call me."

"I will." She disconnected.

There was nothing left to do but wait. Hopefully, Burns could talk some sense into him. I went back to the funhouse, and Victoria was sitting alone playing solitaire. She smiled when she saw me enter.

"The king returns," she said nonchalantly.

I flashed a smile at her. "I'm all yours."

"Did you solve the crisis?"

"No. It seems that Conan destroyed Burns's phone and then forced him to take him to the caverns. They are both gone. I can't reach them, and I have no clue when they'll be back."

"By Conan, I assume you mean Ian. He really needs to get that temper of his under control."

"Yeah, tell me about it. I worry that one day he'll turn that temper on her."

"I think that he just misses her. I bet as soon as they see each other, all will be forgotten."

"I don't know. Kyle knows how to push Ian's buttons. I think that whatever it is started long before the takeover. Besides, I've seen how Wanda can be with Kyle."

"Well, it's out of your hands. Maybe tomorrow, you guys can skip work and we can hang out? It's supposed to be a nice day."

"I have an idea. How would you like to go to on a picnic with me, and I can introduce you to my mom."

"I thought your mom passed away."

"She did. Sometimes, I pick wildflowers for her grave, and I visit her. I tell her what's happening in my life. I like to think she's listening."

Victoria placed her hand gently on my cheek. "I'm sure she is."

It was a tender moment between us that easily could have escalated.

_Don't do it, man. You'll just break her heart. _

"So, are we going to play some Backgammon or what?'

In the morning, I made sure I showed up at the house on time, so I could explain to the others that Burns and Ian had gone to the caverns unexpectedly. I was hoping to still work at putting the roof on the 'bunkhouse'. Evan, Rob, Carlos, and Tom were agreeable, especially when I announced that we'd all knock off at one.

Victoria showed up at the worksite around ten with Gina and Rachel in tow. We decided to take a break. Gina's eyes locked on mine for a few beats, and then she continued towards Evan.

I smiled as Victoria approached me.

"So, are we still on for that picnic?" she asked.

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Good, I'll pack us some sandwiches, so you can take a shower. You don't want your mother to see you all stinky and sweaty," she quipped.

I smiled at her. "We wouldn't want that."

We caught up to the others at the house. Everyone grabbed a drink and hit the bathroom. Evan took his turn, and Gina grabbed me by the hand.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure."

She led me outside. We walked back towards the bunkhouse.

"How have you been?" I asked.

"Um, good," she was hesitant.

"What's wrong?"

"I think I might be pregnant."

I stopped dead in my tracks. "You're serious?"  
>"I'm not sure. I just know I'm late."<p>

"Is it…?" I didn't dare say the word.

"Yours? No. We always used a condom. When I came back from the gypsies and Evan and I were fighting, we had one of those crazy make up sex episodes. He ran out of condoms."

I stared into her eyes. "You're sure?"

"I just told you I wasn't sure."

"I meant are you sure if you are that it isn't mine."

At that moment, the others caught up to us.

Gina smiled at me and nodded. "It's cool," she said nonchalantly.

"What's cool?" Evan asked.

"Hey, do you mind if I talk to Gina for a minute? I need to ask her something."

"You have something to say, you can say it in front of me," he said adamantly.

I glared at him. "I need a woman's advice on something."

"Evan, don't be a jerk," she warned.

"Fine. You have two minutes."

Evan continued towards the building. "He sure is possessive, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he doesn't trust you."

"It seems to me that he doesn't trust you. It's not as if I was going to rape you."

"He knows I still have feelings for you."

"Does he know about the pregnancy?"

"No. I don't want to tell him until I'm sure."

"But you told me."

"I'm scared."

"You'd be a great mom." I said in an effort to reassure her even though my heart was breaking.

"I know. I'm afraid of what happened last time."

"Think positive. I'm here if you need me."

I hugged her. "I love you, angel." We parted ways and I headed for the building. I was quiet the rest of the morning as we worked on the roof. I almost wished it was mine. Then I would have a reason to come to terms with my stupid obsession with Wanda. Gina would be the mother of my child, and I would have every reason to love her. I tried to think of other things like whether Ian and Wanda had made up, but my mind went back to Gina.

At one o'clock, I headed back to my room and grabbed clean clothes. I was hoping my afternoon with Tori would help alleviate my anxieties.

I showered quickly, and as I stepped from the bathroom to the living room, Victoria was sitting on the couch waiting for me. She rose when she saw me. She looked beautiful. She was wearing a cute mini skirt that showed off her long, shapely legs, and she was wearing make-up.

"Wow! All this for me?"

"Maybe, it's for me. Maybe it's so I won't lose your attention to every other woman on this mountain."

"Or maybe, you are trying to capture someone else's attention?"

"Who?" she asked obviously flustered.

"Someone younger than me," I said without getting too specific.

Victoria's face showed the faintest tinge of pink.

"Ah ha!"

"Come on," she said changing the subject. "This is our day."

I carried the basket that she had packed, and we walked into the woods. I had a route that I usually took, and it was marked in red marker as Maria had taught me, so we wouldn't get lost. These woods went on for miles.

"So, I guess you are starting to like it here?' I asked off the cuff.

"Yeah, it's all right. I think Danny really likes Ian."

"I think everyone likes Ian. Hell, he nearly killed me and still everyone voted to let him marry Wanda on the mountain."

"From what I've heard, I think that was more about the new buildings."

"Maybe."

"Is Ian younger than you?" she asked.

"By a year."

"He's not the one I'm interested in."

"I know."

She stopped and turned her head to look at me. "How do you know? I haven't told anyone."

"I watch you. I see the people you look at."

"You _watch _me?" she said.

"I'm not a stalker. I watch because I want to see how you are getting along with the others. I just notice things that others may not notice."

We walked in silence for a while.

"My mother's grave is just up ahead."

"We didn't pick any wildflowers!"

"We can pick them after we eat."

We approached my mother's grave. It was marked by a simple flat piece of shale that had been hammered into the ground. Nothing was written on it. It was merely a marker.

"Hi, Mom. Sorry, I haven't been here in a while, but life has been pretty crazy. We're building two new buildings on the mountain, and we have two new members of the clan. I brought one of them with me. I'd like you to meet Victoria. She's become a close friend of mine."

Victoria seemed nervous about talking to a grave marker. "Hi," she said meekly.

"It's okay," I reassured her. "You don't have to talk. I just wanted her to meet you."

"Don't mind me. I talk to my dad sometimes, too. I just think you should be able to say what you want without me hearing your thoughts. I'll just be over here." She pointed to a large rock about twenty feet away. I turned back to my mother's grave. She was right. I had a lot I wanted to tell my mother.

"Mom, things have been really crazy in my life. Wanda is gone—but I still think about her every day. Something's going on though, and it worries me. Ian took off like a bat out of hell after his brother told him over the phone that he and Wanda got married. She and his brother have been MIA for several days now. I honestly can't believe that she would dump Ian for Kyle, but I have to admit I've seen them interact together, and they are close—maybe too close."

I paused and looked back at Tori. She was sitting quietly on the rock. I looked back at the grave. "Gina and I got real close on a trip to the gypsies. Stanislaw has been pushing me to marry Nadia again. I know what you're thinking—and no, I didn't get her pregnant. I want to bring her to the mountain because there is no one for her at the mine. I think her life will be so much better if she comes to live here. Stanislaw was insisting that I marry her first, so I had to lie. I told him I was already married, to Gina. I brought her with me on my last trip to the mine. I hoped that her stories of how much better life has been for her since she arrived at the mountain would instill some compassion for his daughter. What really sucks is I genuinely love Gina. If it wasn't for my obsession for Wanda, I'd probably be in a happy relationship with her."

I took a deep breath. "And then there's Victoria here. She's beautiful, isn't she?" I said as I glanced over at Victoria still sitting coyly in her summer skirt. "You'd never know that she could probably out-shoot Rambo. Seriously, she put a bullet in Ian at thirty yards. He damn near died. I never thought she'd be someone I could get close to, but honestly, she challenges me. I like hanging out with her. I promise I'll try to be good."

I turned and waved Victoria over. "Mom, we'll be back in a bit. Victoria and I are going to eat lunch and pick some flowers for you." I kissed the tips of my fingers and touched them to the top of her gravestone.

Tori was standing behind me with the picnic basket. "I'm hungry," I said with a smile, as I took the basket from her. "I know the perfect place." We walked together to a little clearing under a stand of pine trees. The ground was matted with pine needles making it the perfect place to spread the blanket. Tori cautiously knelt down in an effort not to give me a free show.

"If I sit over here next to you, you can sit more comfortably."

"Thanks," she replied.

Victoria got comfortable, and I pulled the sandwiches, pickles, chips, and Gatorade from the basket. "This looks good," I commented.

"Mom used to always say, 'I made them with T-L-C'."

"I'm sure your mom would be very proud of you, the way that you protected your brother for so many years on your own, but you know what?"

"What?"

"You don't have to do it alone anymore."

"Nate…" I could see she was fighting to stay in control of her emotions. "Everyone has been so nice—and you—I really care about you Nate. You're like a big brother."

I smiled weakly. "A big brother, huh?" I had to admit, I was a bit wounded.

"Nate, it's not that I'm not attracted to you, but…"

"Tori, it's okay. You don't have to explain. I feel the same way."

Tori leaned into me, and I wrapped my arms around her.

"For six years, I never left my brother's side. I was afraid if I did, I might never see him again—and now, he's off playing with his friends. Nate, you gave us our lives back."

I had to take a long deep breath because she was making me cry. I kissed her forehead. "We are fortunate to have the both of you here."

We took another minute of silence before I released her. "Let's eat," I said barely above a whisper. We ate in silence. I think we were both afraid that words would ruin this perfect moment. We appreciated what each of us had to give. Our friendship had reached a new level.

When we finished our lunch, Victoria pulled out her sketchpad from the basket. "Mind if I draw for awhile?"

"No, go ahead. I'll just get comfy on your lap. We moved the blanket close to a tree so Tori could lean against it. I laid my head in her lap and closed my eyes. I nodded off pretty quickly.

"Nate," she said, pulling me from my slumber.

"Sorry. Was I snoring?"

She chuckled. "No. I wanted to ask you if it would be all right if I painted the inside of the dugouts."

"You want to paint the dugouts?"

"Yeah, I wanted to paint a portrait of Ian since he's the coach. I know he's real disappointed that he never got to live out his dream of being a pro-ball player."

"Are you sure you don't have a thing for him?"

She hit me with the sketchpad. "You are so stupid. He is an interesting subject. He has great features."

"I don't have great features?"

"You know you just kill me when you get jealous of Ian. You can have almost any single girl on this mountain and you pine over a girl that is engaged to him, and then you pull the insecurity card. Seriously?"

"You called Wanda a girl."

"Regardless of what's inside, her body is still human, and no matter what you think, she still makes love like a human. You might find yourself disappointed if you ever get the chance to bed her."

"You know, my mother always wanted to go to Hawaii. She met a few people who had gone, and they told her it wasn't so great. She said, 'I'd like to make up my own mind'. That's how I feel about Wanda."

"Fine," she said curtly. "You want to pick those flowers now?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, of course not. I just think you're setting yourself up for a world of hurt."

"Well, you'll be there to rescue me, right?"

"Count on it."

I brushed the hair from her face and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you."

We spent the next hour picking wild flowers. I told her the names of all the flowers we picked. Unlike Nadia, Tori knew the names of some of the more common flowers, like goldenrod and Queen Anne's lace. We picked two bouquets, one for Tori, and one for my mom. When we returned to the grave, Tori told my mother that she wanted to paint a bouquet of flowers on a bigger tombstone, so she would always have fresh flowers to look at. I thought it was sweet of her.

We spent the rest of the day together, and it did not go unnoticed by Gina, especially when she and Evan came into the house and caught the two of us lying on the couch watching a movie together. I was behind Victoria, and she was nestled comfortably up against me. It was totally platonic, but I'm sure Gina didn't see it that way.

That night, I walked Victoria to her room and hugged her like I always did. There was a moment when she looked in my eyes, and I thought she might kiss me. I must have looked like a deer in headlights because she turned away abruptly and simply said 'good night'.


	34. Chapter 34

**I'm in NJ…hoping to sell lots of books. I preloaded the chapter, so I could release it today. I hope I will come home to lots of reviews!**

**I loved the reviews I got in the last chapter. It's fun to hear who you want Nate with and your reasons why…If I stuck you all in a room, it would be mayhem, which is not such a bad thing! Love ya!**

DISTURBING NEWS

09/05/2002 – Yesterday, I spent most of the day and evening with Victoria. I enjoy the time I spend with her. She reminds me of Maria in a lot of ways. She looks out for me, and she tells me the things I don't necessarily want to hear. She brings me back to reality by reminding me that hanging onto an impossible dream could only lead to disappointment. I sometimes diffuse her when I remind her that a few short months ago, she and Danny were living like wild animals in the woods, and now she was wearing a pretty skirt and doing the thing she loves most, drawing and painting.

Sometimes she looks at me, and I wonder if she wants to take our friendship in another direction. She's pretty enough and she's got those damn long legs, but she's lacking in the breast department. Now that I think about it, Wanda isn't the most full breasted woman either. I guess Gina's perfect breasts have me spoiled.

Ahhh, Gina. Last night she gave me the dirtiest look when I was lounging on the couch with Victoria. It was innocent, but I know she was jealous. I don't mean to torture her and I know she doesn't mean to torture me, but we do it just the same. I caught a glimpse of them making out in the cave on my way to bed, and my stomach tightened into a knot. Maybe one day, Gina and I will be in a place where we can appreciate everything about each other without wanting another.

Which brings me to Wanda. Ian left three days ago, and I haven't heard anything from anyone. I can't get through to anyone unless they are away from the caverns, so I can only assume that everyone is there enjoying each other, while I sit here pining away for her. I miss her smile, the sound of her voice, and how I can wrap my arms around her tiny waist so easily.

Me and the boys worked on the bunkhouse. We began putting up the framework for the inside walls. We were building four inside rooms and a bathroom. Besides the bathroom, the biggest obstacle was going to be the electricity because we were running everything off the one line that fed into the main house.

We knocked off at four o'clock, and I was greeted at the cave by Maria.

"Hey stranger. Haven't seen you in a while."

"I know. I'm sorry. Did you have something you need to see me about?"

"How about your life?"

I smiled. "Wanna take a walk?"

"You have that much to tell?"

"Not really. Things have been pretty calm for the most part. You know about Ian leaving in a hurry because he was under the impression that Wanda married Kyle, right?"

"Yeah, that's just stupid."

If I had closed my eyes I would have sworn I was talking to Tori.

"Before Sunny was proven to be trustworthy, Kyle always went with Wanda when she went off to get supplies for the caverns because Ian has been up here on the mountain. They've shared the same bed, and Kyle has been known to steal Ian's girlfriends in his youth. I guess Ian has an inferiority complex when it comes to Kyle."

"And you," she reminded me.

"Yeah, I don't get that. The last few weeks before Wanda left, she and  
>I didn't spend much time together at all."<p>

"I'm sure it wasn't because she didn't like hanging out with you."

"That's what Ian said."

"Hmm. So what's going on with you and Victoria? You too seem quite chummy."

"We are. It's not what you think. We're pals. She reminds me of you. She's the voice of reason."

"Do you listen to her?"

I gave her that look. "Do I listen to you?"

"I know you hear me, but you never listen. Gina seems good these days."

"Gina and I—we try to stay away from each other but…"

"Don't tell me you're still sleeping with her!"

"It's not like I seek her out! It's just…" I bit my lip.

She cocked her head. "It's just what?"

"I don't know. I…"

"Nathan, you gave her up. Don't destroy what she and Evan have built."

I took a deep breath, and my body hitched.

"Are you saying you love her?"

I looked at the ground.

"I love you to death, but you are such an idiot."

"The thing is, even if she wasn't in love with Evan, I know that Wanda could destroy her happiness just like that." I snapped my fingers for emphasis.

"Are you still hanging onto that pipe dream?" she snapped.

"They're not married yet."

"They're engaged, Nathan."

"Yeah, he's asked her three times, and they've yet they're still not married!" I shot back.

"You're impossible!"

"I asked Gina if she wanted to give it a go, and she doesn't think it's a good idea. She doesn't want to get hurt, and I don't blame her. She's been hurt enough."

"So she cheats on the one guy who's willing to give her the chance and you welcome it."

"I'm an asshole. I know."

"I'm disappointed in you, Nathan."

"I'm sorry." I turned and walked away. I hated disappointing Maria, but the truth was I needed Gina. She helped me keep my sanity in the face of everything that was going on. There were moments when I felt like the power I had over my clan was slipping away, and that I was nothing but a shadow in the face of people like Wanda, Burns, and Ian. Gina treated me like a prince. I marched off to the dugouts hoping for a quiet place to let the tears I had been holding for Gina out. I had my hands folded behind my head, and I was breathing erratically. I was surprised to find Tori in the dugout. She was painting the wall.

"Shit!" I croaked and tried to hightail it out of there.

"Nate! What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said hiding my head from view.

"Something's wrong."

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so screwed up inside. I try to do the right thing and let Gina go, and then I'm so fucking depressed. All she has to do is ask, and I'm on top of her. She cheats on Evan with me, and I don't even care. I act like she's mine to take whenever I want her. The worst part is I can't tell if she's with him because she really loves him or if it's because she wants to make me jealous or if it's just because she wants _someone_ to love her."

"Well, I can assure you if she's cheating on him, she doesn't love him."

"She tells me she does."

"She tells you that because she thinks it's what you want to hear. She's keeping him as a lifeline because she knows she can't keep you. Don't doubt that it's you she wants. You said she's been hurt in the past."

If she only knew of the horrors Gina had to deal with during her time on the run.

"It's easier for her to feel like she has some sort of control in her life than to give it up to you and have her stomp on her heart."

"What are you?—a psychiatrist?"

She chuckled, "My mother was a psychologist."

"Tell me then, what do I do?"

"Do you want to have sex?"

"Do you think it would help?"

"Not at all."

I looked at her and cracked a smile. "You're fucking with me!"

"I got you to smile. Didn't I?"

"Yes, but you didn't help me with my dilemma."

"I don't know what to tell you, Nate. If the world wasn't so damned messed up to begin with, I suppose I would have the answers for you. Gina is wrong for what she is doing to Evan, but tomorrow the souls could discover us, and our lives would be over, and then what would it matter if she loved you or Evan or half the guys on this mountain?"

"I suppose you're right."

"And if being with her once in while is enough for you, then who am I to tell you that it's wrong. Are you happy when you're with her?"

"Yes."

"Then, that's all that matters. I think Maria worries more that something you do will get you into trouble like it did with Ian."

"I don't think so."

"She can't live your life for you, and she can't see into your heart."

"Can I get a hug?"

She opened her arms and invited me in. I held on to her for a long time. "This feels good."

"Yeah, too bad you don't smell better."

I backed up and laughed. "I guess I should shower."

"Ya think?"

"Meet me for dinner? And then we can maybe play some pool after I help with the cleanup?"

"Why, Mr. Downey. My ears must be playing tricks on me. Is the most eligible bachelor on the mountain asking me on a date?"

"You know that might sound good if I wasn't the _only_ single guy on the mountain."

She shook her head. "Go take a shower."

That evening Tori and I were in the house drinking and playing pool. I went into the kitchen to get a refill for each of us while she re-racked the table for a new game. Gina barged into the kitchen and faced me.

"What's going on with you two?" she demanded.

"We're hanging out. Burns is gone, and I'm not exhausted for a change."

"Are you seeing her?" Technically Gina had no right to ask because of her relationship with Evan, but I knew she loved me and I loved her—and if I _was_ in a relationship, she deserved to know.

I tried to be firm but not defensive. "We are friends. Our relationship is completely platonic. Besides Burns and Maria, she is the only one who knows about us."

"So, you're _not_ interested in her?"

"I like the friendship we have developed. I wouldn't want to screw it up by having sex."

Her face twisted into a scowl. "So, you _are _interested in her."

I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out the front door to the porch. "Angel, I'm going to tell you this once, and then I'm going back inside to Victoria. I have slept with quite a few women in my life, but none excite me the way you do. Evan is a lucky bastard." I kissed her tenderly. "I miss you." I turned and left her on the porch. Evan was just entering the kitchen.

"Where's Gina?"

"Porch," I said coldly. I grabbed the beers and continued toward the living room. I didn't know what excuse she would give him for being alone on the porch with me, and I honestly didn't care. In my opinion, it was personal. Tori was right. Everything we had here on this mountain could be taken away in the blink of an eye.

They were in the kitchen for a long time, so I imagine it prompted an argument. I was tutoring Tori on the bank shot when Gina and Evan exited the kitchen. I ignored them. I was waiting for Evan to start something, but he didn't. He sat on the couch, and Gina sat next to him. He draped his arm over her shoulder and flipped the channel to a movie that seemed more his type of flick than hers. It was an action adventure movie, made before the souls had taken over. These days, action movies had plenty of stunts but no physical violence or death. Not only did the hero escape unharmed, so did everyone else. Only in the last two years did they begin to show some of the older movies that did have more violence in them. I could only assume all the syrupy goodness that souls possessed was slowly wearing away in these human bodies. When I thought about it, it seemed the planet we were most like was the bear planet and Wanda herself had used violence to save herself and her friend.

Gina seemed more interested in our game of pool than the movie.

"Gina, would you like to play the next game against Tori?"

"I don't really know how to play," she answered.

"I'll teach you if you want."

"Really?" she sounded excited.

"Sure, we'll be done in a few minutes." Victoria completed her turn. I sank my last two balls and put the eight-ball in the corner pocket ending the game. "Come on, Angel."

Gina sprang from her seat. I noticed Evan was quiet. I was sure he was suppressing the urge to order her back to his side. I let Tori break. She was really picking up the tricks of the game.

"Tori, don't bury the cue ball, okay?"

"Got it, boss," she said confidently. She sank a stripe and left the cue ball in a good spot.

"Okay, first you need to learn how to hold a pool cue. Watch how I do it." I demonstrated for her. "Now, you try."

She took the pool cue and imitated my movements. "Like this?"

"Good. Now, Tori sunk a stripe when she broke the balls and then she sunk another, so she has chosen stripes which are all the high numbers beginning with nine and ending in fifteen. That makes you solids, which are all the low numbers before the number eight. Look at the table and see if there are any solids that look like you might be able to hit with the cue ball and put it into one of the pockets."

Gina looked over the table and picked out the obvious choice.

"Okay, try it."

She set up her shot, but she was nervous, and the cue tipped the cue ball barely moving it a few inches.

"I can't so this!" she cried.

"Sure you can. Let's try it again." I got up behind her and leaned over her. I placed my hands over hers and guided the stick cleanly to the cue ball. I tapped it hard enough for it to hit the ball she was aiming for, and it went into the corner pocket.

"I did it!" she said with glee.

When Gina was happy, it always made me smile. "Yes, you did it. Now, what ball are you going to choose next?"

"Number seven."

"Why number seven?"

"Well besides the fact that it's my favorite number?"

I chuckled at her reasoning. "Yes, besides the fact that it's your favorite number."

"It's near that hole, and the white ball is close to it."

Again, I couldn't contain my smile. "The _hole_ you refer to is called the pocket and the white ball is the cue ball. Can you remember that?"

"Sure, I can remember that."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it. I liked interacting with her. I just hoped that Victoria wouldn't feel slighted.

"Okay, there's another ball _way_ down there by the corner just begging to be tapped in. You see it?"

"Oh yeah, but that's a long way away," she declared.

"True, but in all honesty, it will be the easier shot because the side pocket is harder. It doesn't 'funnel' like the corner does. Very often, the ball will bank instead of going in."

"So, you want me to do the corner?"

"It's your game, it's up to you."

She looked unsure of herself. "But, um—you said that ball is begging to get knocked in. Wouldn't it make sense to go for the harder shot first because I can hit that corner ball from anywhere on the table unless it's blocked by another ball. I might not get another shot to the side hole, um—I mean—pocket, right?"

I wanted to kiss her. She was thinking ahead.

"You know you are not only beautiful, but you are smart."

She beamed at me.

I nodded to ball number seven. "Take the side shot."

"Will you help me?" she asked.

"I'll help you with the hard one, but you have to take the corner on your own. Okay?"

Once again, she leaned over the pool table. And I leaned over her. My lips were close to her neck, and I could smell the faint scent of perfume. I closed my eyes for a moment and drew it in. My dick started to respond to being so close to her. _Concentrate! Her boyfriend is right on the couch!_

I took a deep breath and helped her to line up the shot. "Now, we're going to do this nice and easy. You feel how I'm gliding the pool cue?"

"Yes," she said barely above a whisper.

"Here we go." The cue tapped the ball and lucky number seven flipped into the side pocket.

Tori broke the tension between us. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"Sure, you want us to wait?" I said, as I regained my composure.

"No, but remember, you said she had to make this shot on her own."

At that moment my phone rang. It was Wanda.

"I need to take this. I'll be right back." I hightailed it through the kitchen and out the front door.

"Hello, Beautiful!"

"Hi, Nate."

"How are things with my favorite girl?"

"Not so good."

"What's wrong?"

"Ian tried to strangle me."

"What?" I was in a state of shock.

She started to cry as she told me the story. "When he got back to caverns, I ran outside to tell him that I didn't marry Kyle, but I never got the chance. He strangled me, and I couldn't talk." Her voice was quivering by the end of the story.

I felt queasy at the thought of Ian hurting her. "Oh, Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I wish I could be there for you."

"I'm glad you are where you are. You are safe."

"He apologized though, right?"

"Yes, but….."

The memory of Ian doing himself harm in the root cellar came flooding back. "He didn't hurt himself did he?"

"No. Thank god. I just don't know if I can forgive him. I'm afraid of him."

I blew out my breath to keep from getting dizzy. I needed to offer her support without sounding pushy. "If you need to come here to sort things out, you know that you are always welcome, both of you, whether you are apart or together."

"I know. This whole thing has just gotten me thinking."

_This is it. Ian screwed up. _"About what?"

"About how I've never really given you the chance you deserved."

My heart sped up. "Don't play with me, Wanda. You know how I've wished that Ian was out of the picture. I never wanted him to hurt you."

"I know. I haven't made up my mind yet. It's difficult because I still love him." _How does a guy who tries to strangle his fiancée ever deserve his love?_

"Right. Sure, of course you still love him. I'm here for you in whatever capacity you need me to be."

"Thank you, Nate. I'll call you soon."

"I'll sleep with my phone on the pillow."

"Bye," She disconnected.

I stood on the porch for a few minutes running the conversation through my head. There was a chance she would be coming back, and if she did, I might get the chance I've been waiting for. _She said she's thinking about it. Don't make more of it than it is._ As I passed through the kitchen, I grabbed another beer.

As soon as I entered the living room, Gina ran to me and threw her arms around me. "I did it! All by myself!"

I placed my hand under her chin. "Of course you did."

I looked up and Victoria was staring at me. Evan looked as if he was ready to pounce.

"Look, ladies, I think I'm going to bed."

"It's only eight thirty!" Gina complained.

Victoria didn't fight me on it. "I'm gonna head to the funhouse. I'm pretty sure there's a poker game going on."

"I'll walk you there on my way back to the cave."

"Sure," she replied.

I knew Victoria was hoping for information about the phone call. I think Gina believed we were going to hit the sack together. I had already reassured Gina once tonight. I was too freaked out about Wanda to do it again. Besides, Evan was barely holding it together as it was. Another private moment with Gina would surely send him over the edge.

"Angel, We'll continue the lesson another day, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." She sounded disappointed.

I wrapped my hand around the back of Gina's neck and kissed her forehead. "You be a good girl."

I smiled weakly at her, and Tori and I left the building. As soon as we hit the bottom of the steps, Victoria began the interrogation.

"So, what was the phone call about?"

"The bastard did it. He hurt her."

"Ian hurt Wanda?"

"She said she was waiting for him to come, so she could explain the Kyle thing, and before she got a word out, he tried to strangle her."

"What do you mean he tried? Who stopped him?"

"I don't know. She didn't say. She just said that now she's afraid of him, and she's been thinking about the fact that she never gave me a chance."

Victoria's face fell. "She's coming here?"

"She didn't say. She said she still loves him. How can she love a man who tried to kill her?"

I blew out another breath. My heart was hurting for her.

"What are you going to do if she comes here?"

"What do you think I'm going to do? I'm going to try my damnedest to take her from him."

Victoria looked very stoic. "I see."

"Victoria, this changes nothing between us. We are still friends. Nothing will change that."

"Right." She was staring off into space.

"Tori, please. I need you."

"I just—thought…"

I pulled her into my arms. "I'm always here for you. I just hope you'll still be here for me."

"Sure, Nate."

"I'm going to bed. I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast?"

"Sure." Victoria turned in the direction to the funhouse, and I watched until she entered the building. I went back to my room and lay on my bed. I tried to sleep, but my head was full of possibilities that kept rolling around in my brain.

It was a few hours later when I head the door to my room open.

"Nate?"

It was Victoria's voice. I didn't want to answer her. She waited a few beats, and when I didn't answer she closed the door quietly and went on her way.


	35. Chapter 35

**Okay, so I spent 4 days in New Jersey visiting with schoolmates I haven't seen in 35 years. I had a blast and practically no sleep, and I've been trying to recuperate all week. Unfortunately my writing suffered and I am way behind in bother Nate's Diary and Plum Crazy. I barely managed to finish this chapter on time. I'm also trying to sell my books, so I can finish publishing the next book in the series.**

**Anyway….I am thrilled to see some reviews from old friends I haven't seen around lately…you know who you are Pipes (or whatever you are calling yourself these days), Alexandriaaa, and Stubborn Pear. Wandering Through Stars..I have no clue why you can't secure an account. Makes no sense to me.**

**And the rest of you regulars…thank you lila, Barbie, Ladaane, Azreal, and Siren Renee. Love you ALL!**

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

09/07/2002 - I had the most disturbing phone call last night. Wanda called me to tell me that Ian tried to strangle her. She was hoping to diffuse his ire, but unfortunately he acted before she had the chance. I don't know who or what stopped him, but I am very worried about her. She was so shaken that she is considering coming back to the mountain—alone. She mentioned that she never gave me a chance. I'm thrilled to hear her say this, but I'm upset that Ian has laid his hands on her. If I could, I would leave right now and go get her. My only solace is that Burns is with her. I think if things were really bad, he would have called me himself. Who knows, she may have changed her mind and made up with him by now.

Victoria knows what is going on. She was very cryptic about her emotions. I'm not sure why. Sometimes, I get the feeling that she likes me as more than a friend and other times, she's very protective, much like Maria. She didn't sound happy about the prospect of Wanda's return.

I can't even tell Gina what's going on. She said that she wished Wanda never came back. Until I know definitively that Wanda's coming, I'll keep this latest development from her.

For now, I'm going to try and keep things business as usual. The guys will be working on the bunkhouse today. I'll have outhouse duty. It is once again my turn to dig a new hole for the bathroom just outside the cave. I think that while I'm at it, I'm going to use the backhoe to dig a hole big enough for a septic tank. After all, we've built a couple of buildings. Why not build a public restroom?

I closed my journal and climbed out of bed. I hadn't slept well. I was worried about Wanda. I was glad that I would be working with only Tom today. I didn't really feel like talking to anyone right now.

I entered the house, and Victoria was no where to be found. I thought maybe I should have gone to wake her this morning. I didn't want her to think I was bailing on her.

The rest of the guys showed up at their usual time and noticed that Victoria was missing.

"Did you have a fight with your girlfriend?" Rob asked.

"If you are talking about Victoria, no, I didn't have a fight with her, and she's not my girlfriend, at least, not in the sense you are thinking."

"Well, where is she then?"

"I guess she slept in this morning."

I spent my morning working with Tom digging the hole for the latrine. We moved the out house, and I sent Tom to go eat lunch while I used the backhoe to fill in the old hole as I dug the hole for the septic tank. I was engrossed in my work when I heard someone calling out my name. I shut down the backhoe and turned to see Victoria standing out of range holding what could only be lunch. I climbed down and walked toward her.

"Hey, I missed you at breakfast," I remarked.

"I had a few beers after you went to bed, and I slept it off this morning."

I looked at her with concern. "You all right?"

"Yeah. I was just confused."

"About what?"

"Why don't you come over to the picnic table and eat your lunch," she said in an obvious attempt to change the subject.

"Sure." We walked to the far side of the cave and took a seat. I opened my lunch to find a meatball sub. "Looks good."

"I didn't think you'd want to miss out."

"Thanks." I took a bite. "So, tell me. What were you confused about?"

"Nothing."

I creased my eyebrows at her. "Come on. I think I know you better than that. Are you upset that Wanda might be coming back?"

"With the exception of Gina, I thought we had a good thing going, you know?"

"We do."

"If Wanda comes back, you'll forget about me."

"Is that what you think?"

"You said it yourself; you are going to do everything possible to take her from Ian. That means she is going to get one hundred percent of your attention."

"Victoria, I won't deny that if she comes back, I am going to devote as much time to her as possible, but I won't forget you. We'll still be friends."

"Remember when you said that the reason you liked hanging out with me was because I don't have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah?"

"The truth is the reason you hang around with me is because you don't have a girlfriend."

She was right. We hung out with each other because we were both unattached. A change in status for either of us would change everything.

I pulled her into my arms. "I love you, Tori. Never forget that." I stroked her hair for a few moments. "Besides, we don't even know if she's coming."

That evening, Tori and I were inseparable. As I walked her back to her room, I hugged her good-bye like I always did. As I turned and walked away, she called me back.

"Nate?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask a favor?"

"Anything."

"Will you kiss me?" She caught me by surprise. "Before I lose you to Wanda, I'd really like to know what it's like to kiss you."

"You sure about this?" I asked as I approached her.

"Uh huh."

I placed my hand on her cheek. I had thought about this before, but I always dismissed it figuring she would never want to ruin our friendship. I could only assume that in her eyes, the return of Wanda would ruin the friendship anyway.

"This changes nothing, you know."

"I know. You'll still run to her."

"That's not what I meant. I meant we will still be friends, no matter what."

I leaned closer to her lips.

"Will we?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes." My lips brushed hers. She stood frozen. I slowly closed my lips over hers. She sucked in her breath. I closed them over her lips again this time tasting her. She reciprocated. I raised my hands up to her long neck, turned my head, and parted her lips with my tongue. Our tongues met just inside of her mouth. I could tell she hadn't kissed anyone in a long time. She seemed nervous and tense. I didn't stop. I kissed her for several minutes until her body relaxed, and she enjoyed the kiss. I finally pulled away.

"Still friends?" I asked.

"Best friends," she answered.

I smiled and pulled my hands from her neck. "Good night."

I walked away. It would have been so easy to jump into her bed if it weren't for the fact that Daniel was asleep just a few feet away.

I woke early, still unable to sleep. It was my day to do laundry, so I decided it would be better to do it early. That way, I could still work with the guys on the bunkhouse. I gathered my clothes together and dropped the basket near the entrance to the cave. It was raining. I walked down the long corridor to Victoria's room. I dimmed my light as I entered. I sat on the edge of her mattress. I ran my fingers gently through her hair. She opened her eyes and looked up at me.

"Hey," I whispered hoping not to wake Daniel.

"Hey," she replied.

"It's early. I'm going up to the root cellar to do some laundry. I just wanted you to know in case you went to the house and I wasn't there."

"Nate, you don't have to check in with me, you know."

"I know." I curled my fingers and brush them across her cheek. I got to my feet and headed for the door. "Oh, by the way, it's raining."

"Okay, thanks."

I headed for the root cellar. While I was en route, my phone rang. My heart jumped because I knew it was Wanda. The fact that it was daytime meant that she was out somewhere, and my hopes were she was coming home. I dropped the basket and stood in the rain as I answered the phone.

"Good morning, Beautiful. You must be coming home."

"How did you know?"

"It's daytime. Your calls are always at night unless you are on the road. I just hoped you were coming this way."

"Well, I _am_ coming your way."

"Anything I can do for you before you get here?"

"No. Just know that it was a very emotional good-bye."

"I understand that. I'm not going to pounce on you. I've got a little more class than that."

She sighed. "Have you got any ice cream? I think I could eat about a gallon."

"Your wish is my command—I was just thinking."

"What's that?"

"It's good to be king."

She laughed. It was good to hear her laugh.

"How soon before you get here?"

"We left last night, and I'm driving. Burns is supposed to be asleep, but he's listening to our conversation."

I heard him in the background. "Am not!"

"Anyway, we should be there tomorrow night some time because I want to stop and get a decent night's rest if that's possible."

"Your chamber shall be ready, my lady."

"Bye," she disconnected.

_She's coming home! _I did a fist pump in the air. My adrenaline started flowing. I picked up my laundry and entered the root cellar. As I flipped on the light, my heart sank. _Shit! _The bloodied holes that Ian had made were still here, reminders of his violent behavior. I needed to fix this immediately.

I started my laundry and headed for the house. The others were there eating breakfast. I decided to make an announcement.

"Guys, I have some news," I said solemnly. "Wanda and Burns are coming home."

I waited for the obvious question. It was Rob who asked it.

"What about Ian?"

I took a deep breath. "It seems Wanda and Ian are taking a break. Wanda said she needs time to figure things out. I don't want her to see the root cellar the way it is. I need you guys to help me bring some of the dry wall to the root cellar, so I can replace the walls."

After breakfast, the guys helped me carry the drywall from the bunkhouse to the root cellar. Tom stayed behind to help me. Victoria entered the root cellar as we finished putting up the first wall. She glanced around the room.

"I guess she's coming back," she surmised.

"Yeah, she and Burns are on their way."

She sat on the floor and folded her legs in front of her. She kept staring at the completed wall. "Can I ask a favor?"

The last time she asked me a favor was last night, and that was a kiss. I was almost afraid to answer considering we weren't alone. I sucked it up and answered her. "What do you need, Xena?"

"I'd like to paint a mural on that wall."

"It's not going to be another portrait of Ian, is it?"

"You jealous, Nate?"

"Nah, I know you love me," I joked.

"You gonna let me paint the wall or not?"

"Did you need to even ask? I'm your biggest fan."

She sprang to her feet. "Great! I'm going to go get my paints," she said enthusiastically.

"Whoa, sister! We haven't even spackled the seams yet."

"You don't need to. It's perfect just the way it is!" she called out as she exited.

I was happy that she would have something to keep her busy when Wanda returned. I knew she was right when she said I wouldn't be spending much time with her.

Tori returned with a basket filled with art supplies that she had accumulated from every visit that Burns had made to town in the last few months. She also carried in one of the electric lamps. When she turned it on, the entire room was ablaze with light.

"Wow, it's like a thousand watts in this room now!" Tom declared.

"The overhead light casts a shadow. This brightens up the room making it easier to paint."

"Personally, I think you brighten up the room," I said with a smile.

"You are so stupid!" she shot back.

"Whatever!" I joked.

We spent the rest of the afternoon finishing our project, and Victoria started her new mural.

I got to bed early because my plan for tomorrow was to get Wanda's room ready before she arrived. I had all these plans running through my head. I had to keep reminding myself that she might not be in such a great mood. After all, she just walked away from the man she was going to marry. As much as I wanted to whisk her away and make her forget about Ian, I needed to pace myself and not seem too eager.

The following day I incorporated Maria's help in cleaning the linen from Ian's bedroom. I had one chore I still needed to accomplish that I was not looking forward to—telling Gina.

It was late afternoon when I found her sitting in the funhouse doing her homework. She wasn't alone. Megan and Sarah were in there as well.

"Gina, can I talk to you—alone?"

She obviously knew Wanda was coming home because Evan was one of the guys in the kitchen when I had broken the news yesterday. I'm sure he took the opportunity to inform her. She rose from the table and escorted me outside.

"Wanna take a little walk?"

Instead of answering, she clamped onto my arm and put her head on my shoulder as we walked.

"Evan told me she's coming, and she's coming without Ian."

"Yes." We began to slowly walk toward the baseball field.

"I know she's coming for you."

"How did you know?"

"Ian is the one who loves it here. He should be coming back here without her, unless she has a reason to come back here without him."

She was shrewd. "She only said that she's unsure of what she wants, and she wanted to give me the chance that I deserve."

"This is killing me," she croaked.

"You don't think that you having Evan's baby isn't killing me?"

"I'm not having Evan's baby." She stopped and faced me. Her lower lip quivered. "I'm not having anyone's baby," she croaked.

"I'm sorry."

"Are you?"

She caught me. I was sorry that she was hurting over it, but in all honesty, I was relieved. I didn't want anything to ruin that perfect body.

"The truth?"

"You don't have to lie to me."

"I'm sorry you're hurting. I wish that if you did have a baby that it might be mine, but I don't think you are ready to be a mother yet. And I know I'm not ready to be a father. You should enjoy life first."

"You wouldn't be saying that if it was Wanda who was knocked up with your baby."

I tapped her on the tip of her nose. "Wanda is on birth control."

"So that's why you want her. You can have sex without the condom."

"Gina, that reasoning has never entered my mind. You know how I feel about her."

"You love her."

"I do."

"But you said you love me."

"I do love you, angel."

"If you really loved me, you wouldn't be pursuing her."

"I have to do this."

"So, it's over between us?"

"Maybe."

Her face turned cold. "I want you to know that if this thing with you and her doesn't work out, I won't take you back. I'll never be in your bed again."

Her comment was well deserved, but it still cut me like a knife.

I stared into her eyes.

"No…" She backed away and ran toward the cave. I let her go.

I didn't see Gina for the rest of the day. I did, however, see Victoria. She wished me luck and reminded me that we were still best friends, and I had better _not_ forget it. It was an emotionally exhausting day for me. As excited as I was at the prospect of seeing Wanda, I had a headache over losing Gina. I decided the best thing was to go to bed early. It made sense when I thought about it. Wanda wouldn't feel like I was stalking her. I left a note on her bedroom door. It read:

Dear Wanda,

I had a busy day today preparing for your arrival. I decided that I should get my rest, so I would be fresh when I see you. Take a long hot bath. It will help. I hope you sleep well. I'll see you in the morning.

Love,

Nate

I tried to sleep but it was difficult. I was torn. I was absolutely thrilled that Wanda was returning, but the joy was tempered by the loss of my angel. It was still early when I crawled out of bed. I grabbed clean clothes and headed for the house. I was excited when I saw the van in the driveway. They were home. I entered the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. I had proclaimed the day off, so I wasn't expecting anyone to show up. I took my time in the shower. When I came out, I was surprised to find Danny and Dean watching cartoons.

"You guys are up early."

"It's Saturday. All the cool cartoons are on today," Danny chirped happily.

"Is your sister still asleep?" I asked.

"Nah, she's in the kitchen," he replied.

I entered the kitchen, and Victoria was putting cream cheese on a bagel.

"You didn't need to get up early. I gave the guys the day off."

"I know, but if I didn't get up then Danny would skip school and watch cartoons all morning."

"Well, it _is_ Saturday."

"I don't think Max and Miranda would appreciate truancy. They only go to school for half a day as it is."

"True."

"Would you like me to make you a bagel?"

"No, thanks. I'm going to make Wanda breakfast later. I'll make myself something then."

"Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What?" I reiterated.

"You've never made me breakfast."

"I'll make you breakfast right now. What do you want?"

"I don't want anything. I just wanted to hear you say that you would make me breakfast."

"Xena, all you have to do is ask."

"Ditto." She sat and ate her bagel. As soon as she finished, she said, "Well, I'm off. Will you make sure those boys get to school on time?"

"Where are you off to?"

"Root cellar."

"Have fun."

I was leaning against the kitchen counter. She flitted across the room and kissed me on the cheek. "Later," she said nonchalantly. I wondered if she was hiding her true feelings.

At nine o'clock, I sent the boys off to school, and Burns appeared minutes later.

"Good morning," I said cheerfully.

"Morning," he replied.

"I have a ton of questions."

"I bet you do. Let me get some coffee, and I'll tell you everything."

I followed Burns into the kitchen. He poured himself some coffee and took a seat. I sat across from him, and he had my undivided attention.

He took a sip of his coffee, placed the cup on the table, and began slowly. "I was in here watching TV. Ian came in screaming. He tossed my broken phone on the coffee table and said he was going to the caverns. I told him he couldn't take off by himself. He said that I had better go with him, or he was going alone. He said wild horses couldn't keep him here. I asked him what was going on. He said Kyle and Wanda took off for four days, and Kyle told him that he met her mother and they got married."

"Her mother would be a soul. She wouldn't allow a human to go free."

"Why not? I did."

"You're different."

"If Wanda told her mother she was in-love, what makes you think that her mother wouldn't accept a human if it meant getting her daughter back?"

"It just sounds so…"

"Unbelievable? I know, but again, I could have turned you in and had the whole mountain searched for humans."

"Okay, point taken."

"Ian was so freaked out, he couldn't sleep. By the time we got there, I think he had lost his mind. Wanda came running at him, and he reacted. It happened so fast. I was barely out of the van, and Ian had his hands wrapped around her throat. Jeb had his gun, and he ordered Ian to put her down. He told Ian that Wanda didn't marry anyone. The trip they took was to kidnap Ian's parents."

"Holy shit!"

"No kidding. It seems the first trip she took on her own was to scope out the parents. She believed that his human parents were still in there just like Melanie was. She talked Kyle into going with her the second time. They went alone because it was dangerous, and they didn't want to put anyone else in danger."

I was shocked. "So, let me get this straight. Wanda went to do something nice for Ian, and he tried to kill her because Kyle fucked up the surprise by being an asshole?"

"That's about right."

"So, did Ian apologize?"

"Well, in the beginning, she lay in the bed in Lily's room and cried through the entire day and night. I kept him away."

"When he finally saw her, she didn't want him anywhere near her. They were on their way to making some progress when I had to go into town. She offered to go with me. That's when she called you the first time."

"Yeah, she told me she was unsure of what she was going to do. She said she was afraid of him."

"Well, we got back, and Kyle had a split lip. He claimed he asked Ian to hit him, so Sunny would forgive him for making the phone call that started this whole thing. Wanda didn't want to hear it. She told Ian she was coming back to the mountain without him."

"How do you think I should handle this?"

"I don't know. She still loves him. We were on our way to the garage in the desert, and he caught up to us. He kissed her, and she fell apart. She changed her mind, but he made her go. He said he wants her to be sure."

"So, am I just a pawn in all this?"

"I don't know. You'll have to ask her."

"I've lost Gina over this."

"When did you become a couple?"

"We're not."

"So how could you lose her if she's not yours to begin with?"

I frowned. "It's complicated."

"I guess you need to make a decision."

"I can't take the chance of letting Wanda slip away from me again."

Burns nodded that he understood.

He got up and announced that he was off to do his laundry. I washed the dishes left behind by the boys and went about setting everything up to cook breakfast. Afterwards, I sat on the couch and waited for Wanda to get up. At eleven o'clock, she still didn't appear, so I decided to wake her. I knocked gently on the door.

"Wanda, it's Nate. Are you all right?"

"Nate, come in," she called out.

I opened the door and stepped into the bedroom. She was like a breath of fresh air. Her hair was a ball of curly mess and it framed her face in an angelic way.

"It's eleven o'clock. I was afraid something might be wrong. Burns has been up for two hours."

"No. I'm fine. I guess I just needed the sleep."

"Well, the thing is—I was planning on making you breakfast."

She yawned.

"But if you're still tired, I can come back later." I had been dying to see her, and now I just felt bad for waking her up.

"No, you go ahead. I'll be in the kitchen in a few minutes."

"I was going to serve it to you in bed."

She pulled her fingers through her matted hair. The first thing I noticed was that she was still wearing his ring. "I don't think that is such a great idea."

"Why?"

"The last time you did this, it was for me and…"

_Ian! _"Oh, I'm so stupid."

"It's okay. I'll be there in a few." She forced a smile.

"Okay. I'll be waiting."

She had been awake all of a minute, and I already had her thinking about Ian. _Smooth move, moron!_

I started a fresh pot of coffee in the kitchen and began cooking the bacon and sausage. Wanda sauntered into the kitchen wearing her robe. As soon as the coffee finished brewing, I poured Wanda a fresh cup.

"Have a seat. This one's on me," I said in the hopes of getting her to think about me instead of Ian.

I made a breakfast fit for a king—sausage, French toast, eggs, and bacon. I laid the plate on the table in front of her. Her eyes blew up like saucers.

"You expect me to eat all this?"

"Well, I wasn't sure what you liked, so I thought whatever you didn't want, I would eat."

"You really covered all your bases, didn't you?"

I creased my eyebrows. "Is that bad?"

"No. Of course not. You're just so thorough."

I sat in the chair across from her and watched her eat.

"Aren't you going to eat?" she asked.

My lips twisted into a small smile. "I'd rather watch you eat."

"Nate, you're creeping me out."

"Sorry, you're just so beautiful."

She looked pensive. "You know, I've been thinking about that."

I chuckled. "I think about it all the time."

"That's what I mean. What if..." She took a bite of sausage before she finished her sentence. "What if I traded this body in for something a little older and a little more—you know—normal."

_I'd knock you out and put you back in this body. _"Why would you do that?"

"Well, Ian has always been so jealous. If I became _your_ girlfriend, what's to say you wouldn't be just as jealous? If I was a little less appealing, then maybe I could actually have a normal relationship."

I loved Wanda just the way she was, and she was talking like a lunatic. "That's crazy. Maybe you should go back to bed."

"Okay. You're right. I'm going back to bed," she sounded almost like she was flirting.

I raised my left eyebrow. "You want me to come with you?"

"I thought you weren't going to pounce," she replied without missing a beat.

"Well, if you're inviting me, then that's a different story."

"I'm not inviting you. I'm just going to get dressed."

_Okay, don't push. _"Good. I want to take you out to the schoolhouse, so you can say hi to the kids and check it out."

"Okay."

I cleaned up the kitchen while Wanda got ready. As we walked to the new building now dubbed the schoolhouse by day but still the funhouse by night, I kept the conversation pleasant and light. I wanted to scoop her up and carry her off to the bedroom and have my way with her, but I suppressed my primal urges. When we entered the schoolhouse, Maxim was teaching the older kids algebra and Miranda was working with the younger kids on a project.

I knocked before we entered. "Excuse us, mind if we come in and observe?"

"No Nate, come on in," Miranda said cheerfully.

When we entered, my eyes immediately focused on Gina. Her eyes met mine for a split second and she went back to her work. The kids all looked surprised to see that I had Wanda with me. Blake spoke up. "Wanda, is Coach back?"

I answered the question for Wanda since I knew this was a touchy subject for her, and her emotions were still swimming on the surface. "Sorry kids. Coach is visiting his parents back at the caverns. He'll return soon enough."

Their faces dropped in disappointment. The room fell silent. I walked around the room and told Wanda some of the things we had done to create a space that was efficient, but she looked like she was a million miles away.

"Wanda?" I said bringing her back to reality.

"Sorry, Nate."

"Where were you?"

"Nowhere, I'm fine."

I thought I should get this whole thing out in the open quickly. "Would you like to take a walk?"

"Sure."

I glanced over at Gina before we left but she wouldn't look up. We left the schoolhouse and walked into the woods. We came to a little creek, and I took her hand and her elbow to help her safely across. Just the feel of her delicate fingers was enough to raise my blood pressure. After a while, we stopped and I leaned against a tree and folded my arms loosely across my chest. We were alone, and this was the best place to get some answers.

"So, what is your purpose here, and what exactly is my role in all of this?"

"Hmmm. My purpose here is to figure out what I want," she said thoughtfully.

"And my role?" It was a loaded question.

"I don't know. I guess I'm giving you the opportunity to pursue me—if that's what you want."

"What is your status with Ian?"

"My status—that's a good question," she tried to cover the pain she was feeling, but I saw right through it.

"Well, you _are_ still wearing your engagement ring."

She looked at her hand.

"So, did you break off you're engagement?" I asked.

"I didn't exactly say that in so many words. He did ask me if I was breaking up with him."

"What did you say?"

"I don't remember. I know he cried and I cried. I told him I needed to come here, and he needed to stay there. He knows I am here with you. He knows I am giving you your chance."

"It's difficult for me to approach you while you are wearing that rock."

She took the ring off of her left hand and put it on the right hand. "Is this better?"

"For now. Maybe you would consider leaving it in your room."

Wanda was perched on a large fallen tree trunk. I approached her and held out my hand. She reached out and took my hand in hers as we walked back to the house. I wanted so badly for her to want me the way I wanted her, but my head was screaming, 'don't push!'. When we got to the back steps I stopped. "I have some things I need to attend to. I'll see you at dinner if that's okay with you."

"Sure, dinner." I was holding both of her hands in mine. I leaned in to kiss her and she froze. I hesitated, then smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

As I walked away, I turned back to her. "I'll teach you how to play pool!"

I took off in the direction of the root cellar. Victoria was there just as I had suspected. She was working on her mural. I could see the theme now. It was two aged women standing in colorful skirts and tops standing on a mountain.

I walked up behind her and stood with my hands on my hips. "Who are they?"

"They are two women I met when I went on a trip with the college to Guatemala. We were going to bring art into their lives." She paused before continuing. "Seems silly now."

"I don't think it's silly. You make life beautiful. Why wouldn't you want to share that?" I placed my hand on her shoulder.

"Thanks, Nate. How are things with Wanda?"

"I'm not sure. I can't tell if she really wants to give me a chance or if this is just a place for her to get away to sort out her feelings for him."

"Did you really think she was going to come here and just throw herself at you?"

"No."

"Well, you need to go out there and woo her. Be cute and sarcastic like you are with me."

"You think I'm cute?" I joked.

"I think you're stupid."

"But cute stupid, right?"

"Get out of here. I'll talk to you tonight."

I kissed her cheek. "You're not stupid. You're just cute—extremely tall, but cute."

I felt better now that I had talked to Tori.

Dinner was served in the schoolroom which was now the dining hall. I sat with Wanda and Burns, Megan and Sarah, Victoria and Danny. Sarah sat next to me and tried very hard to monopolize my time. I had been ignoring her for the last few weeks, and I didn't want to hurt her. I put my arm around her and kissed her on the forehead. She just about exploded with excitement. I thought this might calm the jitters that Wanda seemed to have earlier if she saw me being sweet to Sarah. After dinner, Wanda volunteered to help with the dishes. I headed up to the house with Sarah and Megan to watch TV with them. Wanda arrived about a half hour later.

"Ah, there you are. Let's go play some pool," I suggested.

The day before Wanda arrived; we moved the pool table out of the house and into the 'funhouse'. We headed back to the new building and once again Wanda seemed to be in another place.

I finished racking up the balls. "So, now I'm going to teach you how to smoke a pool table."

With each shot, I stood behind her and maneuvered the pool cue to show her the angles she needed to use. I breathed in her scent and my body betrayed me. My dick was standing at attention. I tried to stay close so she couldn't see my excitement. I brushed her hair over her shoulder as I leaned over her. I wanted to kiss her neck. _Come on, buddy. Stay in control. You are the king of control. You can do this. _I tried to keep the conversation light and easy. At the end of the evening, I walked her to the front porch of the house because Burns as still up watching TV in the living room. We sat on the porch.

"You know the last time we sat on this porch I kissed you."

"I remember."

"You ran away. Why _did _you run away? You could have just kept your mouth shut, and that would have been the end of it."

"I ran away because I felt guilty."

"Why did you feel guilty? I kissed you."

"I felt guilty because I liked it."

I cocked my head to the side and smiled. "So, you liked it?"

"That's what I said."

_Stay in control. _"Well, maybe you'll get lucky, and I'll kiss you again," I said, as I tapped my hand on her thigh. "I'll see you in the morning. It's your turn to make breakfast. I like pancakes." I rose and walked off into the darkness.


	36. Chapter 36

**I want you all to know that I spent pretty much the entire weekend trying to play catch up with this story and also Plum Crazy. I'm amazed that I was able to pull it off. Ladaane, you were right in your last critique. I tried to embellish the parts that I took directly from ASH in order to understand the things that Nate was feeling. Then, I missed a huge part of the chapter because I have been following the original manuscript. I had added the parts you addressed when I posted the story on FanFic. I learned a lesson. I need to follow the Fan Fic chapters, not the original manuscript. I hope you will forgive me.**

**Lila, Barbie, and Ladybug- I appreciate the reviews from each of you. I wish that others would take the time to express their opinions and feelings about the story. Sometimes, I feel like I'm writing the story for five people because they are the ones I hear from. It's a little frustrating writing 5000 words and getting no words in return.**

**I hope whoever is reading it at least liking the story….**

THE COURTSHIP

09/11/2002 – Wanda is back. I'm thrilled beyond belief, but I'm also extremely nervous. She seems tentative at best about being here with me. I know she still loves Ian, and I don't want to rush things, but I don't want to go too slow either. It's a perilous tightrope I walk with her, trying to find the perfect pace that will neither scare her away nor bore her to death. I guess today I'll play it by ear and see if the right moment comes when I should kiss her.

Victoria has been very gracious. I try to spend as much time with her as I can. Yesterday, I ate dinner with both Victoria and Wanda, but the one who commanded my attention was Sarah. It actually worked out perfectly. I didn't make Wanda uncomfortable by being too pushy, and Tori wasn't privy to seeing me dote on Wanda. Sarah got the attention, which pleased her to no end, and the ladies found it no less than amusing.

I didn't see Gina at all. I think she's purposely avoiding me. I'm not sure if that is a bad thing. I have to admit it is easier for me to concentrate without her around.

It's early, but I can't sleep. I guess I'll get up.

It was quiet in the house. I took a quick shower, made coffee, and plopped on the couch. I watched the news, and I noticed that there was actually real news to report. There was a domestic dispute that escalated to name calling, which caused the neighbors to call the police. There was also a motor vehicle accident that also brought out emotions between the two drivers. It seemed to me that the peaceful souls were beginning to become a bit 'human'.

Suddenly, Burns entered the living room from Wanda's room wearing only his boxers. "Whoa! What the hell are you doing in Wanda's room?" I demanded.

Burns drew in a deep breath. "It's not what you think. Wanda had a bad dream. She was screaming. When I went in to check on her, she asked me to stay with her. I slept on top of her blanket," he said in an effort to reassure me.

"I wonder what the bad dream was about?"

"She didn't say, and I didn't want to push her. I'm gonna get dressed and head out to the bunkhouse."

"Okay, I'll be there later."

Ten minutes later, Burns was out the door, cup of coffee in hand. It was only a few minutes after that when Wanda shuffled into the living room in her robe.

"Good morning, Beautiful!"

Her hair was a mess, and she still looked sleepy.

"You're up early."

"I'm waiting for my pancakes."

She went to the bathroom and then headed back to the bedroom. She reappeared wearing pink sweats. As she passed through the living room, heading for the kitchen, she announced, "I'm really not opposed to help."

I jumped off the couch. "Your wish is my command."

I had already set up the bowl and the pancake mix. The water was sitting in a cup ready to be poured into the bowl. The pan was on the stove.

She placed her hands firmly on the counter. "You covered all the bases again."

"Yeah, can't help it. I'm the proverbial planner and schemer."

I slid up behind her, wrapped my arms around her waist, and put my chin on her shoulder. "You're having nightmares?"

"How did you know?"

"I saw Burns come out of your room this morning wearing only his boxers. It kinda caught my attention."

"I was upset. He stayed with me."

"Well, I could stay with you tonight—if you want." I turned her around to face me and pulled the hair away from her face. "You know—to protect you from those bad dreams."

"I made a promise. You'll never sleep in that room."

"Who said anything about sleep?" I said jokingly.

"Nate, stop." She pushed me in the mid section gently and turned back to the pancakes.

_You're pushing too hard. Back off. _I clapped my hands together. "O-kay—how about some coffee?"

After breakfast, we went on another little walk in the woods. This time I held her hand as we walked. I kept the conversation light. I pointed out things in the woods like nests and dens and snake holes. I steered clear of my mother's grave. She had enough sadness right now. When we got back to the house, I again took her hands in mine. "I'm going to go help the guys with the second building. We've decided to make four rooms and add a bathroom. I'll see you at dinner?"

"Sure. I've got some things to do today. I actually have a lot of dirty laundry I brought back with me."

"Good." I nodded my head, but I couldn't stop staring at her lips. I hesitated still not sure if I should kiss her. I wanted kiss her so badly. I leaned in slowly to see her reaction. She leaned toward my lips, and I kissed her. It wasn't a peck, but it only lasted a few seconds. As I pulled back, I licked my bottom lip to savor the taste. It took everything I had in me to stay in control. "Later, then."

I was on cloud nine as I walked away from her. The wall had been breached.

That evening we were supposed to have baseball practice, but it rained, so Wanda and I watched TV on the couch with some of the others. I draped my arm around her, and she snuggled into my side. It was nice. I saw no sign of Gina. I knew Tori was in the funhouse playing poker. There was no sign of Blake, so I figured she might be trying to cozy up to him. Tori's way of flirting was sarcasm, which worked great on me, but I wasn't sure if Blake would catch the subtle hint. The others didn't seem to notice my casual hold on Wanda probably because it wasn't unusual for me to snuggle up to someone. Just the other day, I was lying on the couch with Tori watching TV. It was Saturday night, so some of the older kids were staying up to watch a late movie. I was tired, and so was Wanda. She walked me out the back door into the cool night air to say good-bye.

When we got to the bottom of the steps, I put my arms around her waist, leaned back, and looked intently at her.

"What?" she asked.

"You're not ready to give up that ring yet, huh?"

"I'm sorry. It's _such_ a beautiful ring," she said in her defense.

"It _is_ that." I smiled at her.

"I'll see you in the morning?"

"Try and stop me." I backed away and took her hands. I pulled each of them up to my lips and kissed them. I released her hands, did a half bow, turned, and walked away.

I popped into the funhouse to check on Victoria. Rob said she went to bed. Gina kissed Evan on the lips and whispered something to him and bolted out the door ahead of me. I thought she might be waiting to interrogate me or even to yell at me. I exited the building and saw that Gina had taken off at a flat run.

"Gina!" I called.

She never looked back.

In the morning, I had breakfast waiting. After breakfast, I walked Wanda to the baseball field rather than the woods. It was a nice day, and we would most likely have practice later.

Before we entered the first dugout, I turned to her. "I wanted you to see this because I didn't want you to be surprised at practice."

"What?"

I held her hand and led her into one of the dugouts. On the back wall, Victoria had drawn a portrait of Ian holding a bat. It wasn't the best picture, but considering she had drawn it from memory, it was pretty good. It was obviously Ian. Wanda took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I told her she could do whatever she wanted," I explained.

"It's okay. I guess he _should_ be on this wall. This is _his_ field."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay."

She didn't look okay to me. I took her hand and walked her back to the house.

"Burns wants you to go with him to get some groceries, and after dinner, we were going to have practice. Burns is going to stand in as coach."

"That's why you showed me the picture."

"Yes. I figured you'd want to practice with the kids. Show your commitment to them." I smiled. "I'll see you when you get back?"

"Sure, are you going to work on the building?"

"No, I have other commitments today. Besides, Burns needs to get some supplies for the building as well."

I kissed her quickly on the lips and walked away. I turned around in a full circle to smile and wave at her. I was proud of myself for holding back. I wanted to give her just enough to let her know that I was still interested.

While Wanda was with Burns, I played chess with Uncle George. Then I did a physical inventory of the store rooms in the cave. Gina came to me while I was doing inventory.

"Nate?" she called from behind me.

"Gina!" I smiled broadly. I missed her, and I hated that she was angry with me. "What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to know if I could borrow a book."

"Of course, you can have any book you want."

"Thanks." She turned to walk away.

"Hey…" I called out. "I asked Burns to bring back some mint chocolate chip ice cream for you."

She forced a smile. "That's nice of you."

"Gina, I don't want you to hate me."

"I don't hate you. I'm just sad." She walked away.

After dinner, practice went smoothly. Burns wasn't as tough on the kids as Ian was, so they had a habit of goofing off. A few times, Wanda had to get them back in line citing that they wouldn't want her to call Coach and report their bad behavior. Most of the kids didn't know about me and Wanda as a couple. They assumed the snuggling on the couch was just friendship. Anything else we had done was when we were alone. I was very careful not to flaunt our relationship, although up to this point, there really wasn't much of one. After practice, we went to the game room and played poker with some of the regulars which included Victoria and Holly. Holly kept giving Wanda weird looks. Holly had not been informed of state of affairs between Ian and Wanda. It seemed as though she was trying to piece together information.

At the end of the night, I walked Wanda to the front porch again. It was a chilly night; a sign that fall was almost here. I didn't sit but walked to the top of the stairs towing Wanda behind me. "Today was a good day."

"Yes, it was."

I needed to come clean. "I've been trying really hard to give you time to heal. Every time I'm with you it's a battle to not kiss you. Wanda, I'm losing this battle."

I pulled her hair way from her face and tucked it behind her ear. I leaned in slowly. I pressed my lips gently to hers. Her lips were warm, and I felt a jolt of electricity jump through my body. As I opened my lips to kiss her again, she put her arms around my back and pulled me towards her. My lips erupted in passion. I ran my fingers through her satin hair and held the back of her head. My tongue pierced her lips, and I slowly circled the tip of my tongue around hers. My dick was standing at attention in the hopes that he would get a little action as well. I was enjoying the moment. Slowly, I brought the kiss to a close.

I looked into her beautiful blue eyes. "Do you want to run away?"

"No."

"Good." I kissed her again. As I kissed her, I let my hand fall to her breast. They were small compared to Gina and Rachel's, but it just enough to fill my cupped hand. She raked her hands through my hair and pulled my head even tighter to her lips. I let my tongue dart around hers as I savored her sweet flavor. When we stopped, we were both panting and clutching each other.

"How would you feel if I made love to you right here on this porch?" I asked.

"Cold?"

I laughed. It wasn't the answer I expected, but I was glad that she was in a good mood. The moonlight that filtered onto the porch softened her already delicate features, and she looked almost like a ghost. My fear was that ghosts fade away. "Well, I guess I can wait another night." I kissed her one more time but kept the passion to a minimum before I whispered, "Good night, Beautiful."

I left her feeling good about the progress we had made. She didn't stop me because of Ian. I remained in control, and I felt that I had done just enough to keep her interested.

I didn't stop at the funhouse. I was feeling on top of the world, and I didn't want to see Gina. The sight of her would just bring me down. I settled into my bed and fell asleep quickly.

I slept well. I had high expectations for the day, and I couldn't wait to get on with it. I changed quickly and hightailed it toward the house. The smell of breakfast assaulted my nose as I entered the back door. I heard voices in the kitchen, so I knew that Wanda was already up. It sounded like Burns was in there with her. I went to the bathroom to do my morning routine before entering the kitchen.

"You were so excited to see me you couldn't sleep?" I said cheerfully.

"Yes, I miss your charm and wit," she replied with a smile.

"Well, you look beautiful today as always."

I sat in the chair, and as she walked past me to the sink, I couldn't resist the urge to hold her. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into my lap. I decided it was time to push the flirtation to the next level. "Tonight, I am going to cook you dinner, and dessert will be at my place, so please dress appropriately."

"That's a little demanding, isn't it?"

"I think it's my turn to be demanding, but I promise you'll make out in the long run."

"Okay. Are you going to work on the building today?"

"If it's okay with you."

"It's okay."

"Good. I have to get going since I'm leaving early to cook your dinner. I hope you like Italian food."

"I guess I'll find out."

She got off my lap, leaned over, and kissed me on the lips. She tried to pull away, but I grabbed her face and kissed her again. It was a great feeling. I really didn't want to leave her to go to work, but I told myself that those buildings could be for our wedding.

The day dragged by. My thoughts were not on creating the framework for the rooms in the bunkhouse. My head was filled with thoughts of Wanda. Tonight, I was hoping to seal the deal, but if I couldn't, I would at least want to try to strengthen the relationship. It wasn't as if Wanda and I were strangers in a new relationship. We had traveled down this road before. The big difference was she didn't have to feel guilty about her attraction to me. My problem was I was afraid that she still would. At four o'clock, I knocked off leaving the others as they continued to work. They suspected there was something going on between me and Wanda, but they couldn't be sure exactly what. I showered and dressed in a pair of black pants and a button down dress shirt.

I entered the kitchen and began pulling out the ingredients I would need to make baked Ziti. I was pleasantly surprised when Wanda entered the kitchen wearing my favorite black, gray, and white, three tier, babydoll dress.

"You're early. I haven't even started dinner yet." I skipped a few beats as I admired her beauty. "Although, I must say, you look good enough to eat."

Her face turned a faint shade of pink. "I wanted to help. You don't mind, do you?"

"You're asking me if I mind spending time with you?"

"I guess I am."

I walked up to her and took her hands in mine. "Sweetheart, every moment I get to spend with you is like a little moment of happiness that's wrapped up in a tiny bubble. I'm hoping to fill an Olympic sized pool with those bubbles."

"How do you always say the right things?"

I placed my hands on her face. "What makes me happy is that you think they are the right things to say." I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers, and the jolt of electricity went through my body like a Tazer. We stood in the kitchen kissing for several minutes before she brought me back to reality.

"Nate," she managed to say in between kisses.

"Yes?" I kissed her again.

"Dinner?" I kissed her again.

"Right," I said as I pulled away.

"One more," she said, as she pressed her lips to mine and pushed her delicate tongue into my mouth. "Mmmmmm," she hummed.

"Okay," I said as I licked my lips. "We are making baked Ziti."

We cooked together, and it was fun. There was lots of touching and flirting and the cooking was peppered with little kisses as well the occasional make out session. When we placed the Ziti in the oven to bake, we started to make a salad, but I ended up pushing her up against the counter. I kissed her again passionately. "Do you have any idea how much I want you right now?"

"Can we eat dinner first?"

I laughed. "Sure, but I'm looking forward to dessert."

Dinner was delicious. After we cleaned up, she took my arm, and we walked to the caves. I led Wanda to the place where the stars were. I had my partner in crime, Victoria, lay out a picnic basket and a blanket. I bade Wanda to sit on the blanket, and I sat next to her.

"In case I didn't say it before, you look ravishing tonight." I opened the picnic basket and produced a plate with fresh strawberries and whipped cream.

"Now I brought dessert, but the rule of thumb is that you can't feed yourself. You can only feed me, and I can only feed you." I picked up the strawberry and dipped it into the tub of Cool Whip. "Open up, Beautiful."

She opened her mouth, and I held it to her lips. As she bit down on the strawberry, some of the whipped cream smeared onto the tip of her nose.

"Let me get that," I said as I used my finger to swipe the cream away. I licked my finger. "Mmmm, tastes almost as good as you," I quipped.

"Now your turn," she said before I could feed her another. Just as I had let the cream wash over her nose, she did the same to me. Instead of using her finger, she leaned forward and licked it away. She was being playful, and I wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to make the most of it. I leaned forward and kissed her. She didn't fight me on it but placed her hand on my face welcoming the kiss. I slowly pushed her down onto the blanket and hovered above her. The make out session began. Her skin was so soft—like silk. I gently ran my fingers along her face. Her full lips caressed mine, and the thoughts in my mind began to swirl around as I fantasized about how I wanted this night to end. After a while, I finally stopped kissing her because another minute and I would literally be tearing her clothes off. My dick was screaming to get at her. I lay next to her on the blanket. We were facing each other staring into each other's eyes.

"Wow," she whispered.

"Did you like that?" I asked still caressing her face with my knuckles.

"Uh-huh."

"Good." Silence followed, and we rolled onto our backs and stared out at the stars. After a few minutes, I rolled towards her and spoke. "I wish I could see the real you."

"You might not like it."

I stroked her hair as I spoke. "I've been thinking about that actually. On earth, we've always thought of the soul as the life force of the body. It is not something you can touch, but without it, there would be nothing but an empty shell. It's what makes a person who they are. If they took you out of that body, would the body come back to life?"

"No."

"Then I would see a true soul, and it would be real. How could that not be beautiful?"

"Kiss me," she said softly.

I did as I was told. I let my hand travel to her breast where I caressed her over her bra. This went on for a while and again my male member was crying to be released. I had to stop.

"I need to get Cinderella home before I turn into an ogre." I got up and pulled my beautiful porcelain doll to her feet.

"Why? I was having a good time," she protested.

"Because—another five minutes and I'll be ripping your clothes off. I have only but so much control."

"Thank you for being honest about it."

"Thank you for giving me tonight."

I walked her to the back steps. The house was jumping because it was Saturday night, and the kids were up late watching a horror movie.

"I should take my leave," I said still being careful not to broadcast our budding romance. "I'll see you at breakfast?"

"Sure but no pancakes."

"No pancakes?" I gave her the puppy dog eyes.

"How about omelets?"

"I'm hungry already." I smiled and kissed her palms. "Good night, Beautiful."

"Good night."

The next few days with Wanda were filled with tender moments. We took turns preparing breakfast for each other. We always made sure the other guys were gone before we had our private meals in the kitchen. The others around the mountain were beginning to realize that there was more than just friendship between us. We were caught more than once in a lip lock, and it was usually while we were in the kitchen.

I made sure I had showered and shaved before dinner each day, so the rest of the night would belong to Wanda. Unfortunately, Victoria was right. She was being ignored for the most part. Gina looked like she was going to explode when she caught us in the root cellar making out while doing our laundry. I had to give Gina credit though. She never gave away the fact that she and I were lovers. She merely excused herself citing she thought the laundry room would be empty. I recognized the agony in her eyes, but I think Wanda saw it as disappointment that she couldn't do her laundry at that moment.

We spent most nights in the game room playing pool. I enjoyed these moments because I got to touch her. Anytime I had my body against hers was a good moment for me. Sometimes, we played cards with some of the others. These were the times when I got to hang with Victoria. I often joked with Tori, and I could almost detect a twinge of jealousy on Wanda's part.

It was Wednesday evening. Wanda and I were in the game room playing pool when her phone rang. She immediately went into a panic thinking it might be something bad. I stood by as she answered the phone.

"Hello?"…"Hi, no I wanted to call you, but I knew I wouldn't get through." She placed her hand over the phone and said, "It's Sunny," as she left me standing at the pool table and exited the building. Wanda returned after a few minutes. She looked distressed. She approached me almost cautiously. "I'm going to call it a night."

I could read the panic on her face. "Did you talk to Ian?"

"No, I couldn't."

"You should have."

We walked outside and continued the conversation.

"Why? I'm here with you," she replied trying to justify herself.

"Are you? You just said you were calling it a night."

"Ian. I'm doing the best I can."

_Ian? She called me Ian?_

"I'm not Ian."

"Crap! I'm sorry!" She turned and bolted for the house.

"Wanda!" I called out but she didn't stop. _"Fuck! One phone call, and she's reverting right back to where we started!_

I debated on whether or not to go after her. I couldn't beg. I could flirt with her and I could court her, but I couldn't beg. It had been a perfect week, and Ian destroyed it in one phone call.


	37. Chapter 37

**Here's the next chapter. I'm sure I'm going to hear lots of crap over it. I'm sorry, I'm having a crappy week. I've written 38 chapters and put my heart and soul into it because I love Nate, and I get bitched at because there's not enough emotion. Maybe it's because deep down; Nate knows who really loves him.**

BROKEN DREAMS

09/16/2002 – Last night I didn't sleep well at all. I have spent the better part of the last week wooing the love of my life. Things were going really well. Then the Neanderthal called her. During a five minute call, he managed to invade her thoughts to the point where she actually called me Ian. What an insult. She called it an early night undoubtedly, so she could pine over him. I don't know what to do. I can't ignore the fact that she walked away from me and left me standing in the dark, both literally and figuratively. Usually, I go to the house after the guys have left for work to spend some quality time making breakfast with Wanda, but right now I'm—aggravated. She needs time to think about what she wants and I, well, I'm not going to crawl up her ass. I'll just go to work on time today and give her some space. Maybe I'm smothering her.

It was still early. The guys were surprised to see me at the breakfast table.

"Where's your girlfriend? And don't tell me she's not your girlfriend because Gina told me she saw the two of you making out pretty hot and heavy in the root cellar," Evan declared.

"You know, I don't think Gina tells you these things, so you can blab it all over the mountain."

"What? Another secret affair?" Rob replied. It was meant to be a stab in the back.

"No, not an affair. She's broken things off with Ian."

"So, then why the secrecy?" Rob pressed.

"It's for her sake. She hasn't made any commitment to me."

"Guys!" Burns interrupted. "If your girl broke up with you, would you want it all over the mountain that she started seeing someone else if you were hoping for a reconciliation?"

The guys all got quiet. I was glad that they had shut up, but I wasn't thrilled with Burns's assessment of my relationship. We finished our breakfast and headed off to the bunkhouse. Burns and I were hoping to start work on the bathroom. He and I had installed the Jacuzzi in the house, so we had an idea of what we were doing. We began by putting up the framework. It was a relatively small room, so we cut the lumber to fit first and then began hammering the wood in place. Burns, Evan, and I were hammering the framework in place when I heard my name.

"Nate!" It was Wanda.

I looked up and saw her standing about ten feet away. I had nails in my mouth which didn't make it easy to answer her. "In a minute," I called back, the nails still secure between my lips.

I finished hammering the last two nails and then approached her. I raked my fingers through my hair in an effort to look presentable.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. "I'm sorry for acting like such a jerk last night."

I felt relieved, and my anger dissipated quickly.

"It's okay. You said you wanted to call it a night. You needed some space. I get that."

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" she said, as she leaned back to stare at my face.

"You mean besides steal my heart?"

She kissed me hard in front of Burns and Evan, which only cemented what Gina had told him.

"You missed breakfast," she whispered.

"There's always lunch."

She smiled, and my whole day got brighter. "Lunch is on me," she trilled as she released me. "Bring your friends."

I smiled brightly as I stood there and watched her walk away.

The next two days we were very playful. We even danced one morning while we cooked breakfast. She knew how to dance. It turns out the soul who had preceded her in this body had taken dance classes as a kid and was quite good. She said her father wanted her to pursue dance, but Pet liked hanging with her friends. She admitted that 'Pet' was a rather spoiled child. That night as we sat on the front porch snuggling in the moonlight, I spoke candidly. "I could get used to this."

"Me, too."

"Tomorrow, I want to have dinner with you."

"We have dinner every day together."

"No, I mean like a date—a real date. In the dining room at six?"

"Everyone will be there."

"No, I mean the dining room in the house."

"Your wish is my command," she giggled as she said it.

Wanda and I spent the evening with Kim and Priscilla, and Nadine and Victoria watching Dancing with the Stars which was very popular among the souls.

I had fun trying to mimic the stars. I danced with each of the ladies. Of course, Wanda was the best because she was comfortable in my arms. It was a good night. Wanda let me walk her to her room, but she wouldn't let me kiss her good-bye inside the bedroom. I wasn't sure if it was because she was afraid she might lose control or if she was still worried about breaking her promise to Ian. It bothered me, but I didn't dare show it. It held her in my arms and kissed her. "I'll dream of you."

"You can't control your dreams," she pointed out.

"Sure, I can. I just won't let anyone in the dream. Then it will be only you and me."

She looked worried.

"Is everything all right?"

"I wish I could control my dreams."

"Just think happy thoughts." I kissed her one more time and said good-night.

I was about to leave the house when Gina walked in. It was an awkward moment as my eyes met hers.

"Hi," I said meekly.

"Hi," she said back to me.

I was so in love in Wanda, but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of heartache at losing Gina. I was a bitter pill to swallow. I understood how Wanda must feel about Ian. I felt this guilt when Gina and I were merely lovers. Wanda and Ian had been altar bound.

"Gina, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Um—I have to go to the bathroom," she replied.

"I'll wait for you outside."

She passed me with her eyes on the floor. _I hate this! _I was originally going to ask her about the song she was singing, but I realized it would be too painful of a subject for her. It was obvious to me that Victoria was once again correct in her assumption. I debated on whether or not to just leave, when I remembered something else. It was a good reason to talk to her. The door opened, and Gina appeared at the top of the steps. It was a cold night, and she was wearing a jacket with a hood.

"Are you headed back to the cave?" I asked as she walked down the steps toward me.

"No, I was going back to the game room."

"You mean the funhouse," I said with a smile.

"The what?" she asked.

I stood squarely in front of her and pulled her hood up over her head. "The funhouse. That's what me and Victoria call it." I let my warm hands linger on her cold face for a moment.

"Oh…" she said as she wrapped her cold hands around mine and pulled them away from her face. "What did you want, Nate? Isn't Wanda enough for you?"

"Gina, I just wanted to thank you."

"For what?"

"For not giving our secret away in the root cellar."

"I might be a bitch, but I'm not a tattletale."

"I don't think you're a bitch."

"Sorry, wrong lover."

"What does that mean? Wait, does Evan call you a bitch?"

"I have to go."

"Gina!"

Gina took off towards the game room. I ran after her and grabbed her by the wrist to stop her. "Is he hurting you?"

"No, sometimes he gets angry, but hey, we all do, right? I'd rather be called names than punched in the face."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

"Absolutely not! You're the reason I'm a bitch. I don't deny it."

I reached for her face. "Angel."

She stepped backward. "Don't."

"What do you want from me Gina?"

"Nothing. I wanted you to scream from the mountaintop that you loved me, and I wanted you to ask me to marry you. But now, I don't want to be your girlfriend. I don't want to be you lover. I just want to live my life with the hand I was dealt. Evan is good to me most of the time. It could be a lot worse." Her voice was as cold as the night air.

"If he hurts you, I want to know."

"He could never hurt me as much as you did. Now go back to Wanda."

I swallowed hard because she said it with such conviction. She turned away and left me standing in my own self-pity.

I returned to the cave and headed for Victoria's room. I didn't think she'd be there, so I wasn't surprised when she wasn't. I returned to my room and was very surprised to see Victoria sitting on my bed reading.

"I was looking for you."

She snapped the book closed. "Well, you found me."

"What are you doing in here?"

"I came to borrow a book. You never said your room was off limits."

"What if I was in here with Wanda?"

"I knocked first. Are we going to argue about the fact that I'm in your room?"

"No. I'm sorry. It's been a rough night."

"Care to share?"

"I'm afraid that Wanda may be having second thoughts."

"Because…"

"Because she spoke to Ian yesterday, and now she's been acting distant."

"I thought she came to apologize to you."

"And who told you that?"

"Are you kidding? You're love life is like the new 'Days of Our Lives' around here."

"That's just great. No wonder Gina acted the way she did."

"Yeah, she's been a bit cranky since Wanda came back."

"She basically wrote me off, and she wasn't very nice about it."

Tori shrugged her shoulders. "She's hurt. What did you expect—balloons and ticker tape?"

"I don't know. Tell me something, have you ever seen Evan lay a hand on her?"

"No. I've seen them fight though. He's quite the charmer."

"What do you mean?"

"He's one of those guys who likes to get in your face to make a point. You know? Like this." Victoria slid off the bed and got in my face and waved her finger at me. "If you weren't such a bitch, then maybe we could spend just one night without you complaining about one thing or another."

"He called her a bitch?"

"I don't know. I don't remember." She shook her head. "Maybe."

"I should talk to him."

"Nate, it's her relationship."

"What if he's hurting her, you know, I mean physically?"

"I didn't see any of that. She just turned her back on him, and he walked away in frustration."

"Would you do me a favor and just keep an eye on her for me? Maybe engage her in conversation and see if anything is going on?"

"I don't think Gina would be the type to allow a guy to beat on her."

_If you only knew, baby, if you only knew._

"Anyway, what book did you pick out?"

"I got the book I was looking for, Girl with a Pearl Earring. It was back on the shelf."

"Good. Would you do me a huge favor tomorrow?"

"What?"

"After dinner, would you retrieve the box of Baklava and the bottle of champagne I plan to have Burns get for me and bring it to my room? I want to surprise Wanda tomorrow."

She huffed out a breath. "Sure."

"Thanks, Xena."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going to bed."

I stretched out my arms and Tori entered into them. I gave her a nice heartfelt hug.

I went to sleep feeling conflicted. I loved Wanda, but I wasn't so sure she loved me. Gina loved me, but I wasn't so sure I loved her. I mean. I love her, but am I "in" love with her? Is it possible to love two women at the same time? _Fuck, I don't know._ I drifted off to sleep.

I woke at my usual hour. I dressed quickly and headed for the house. I did my morning routine in the bathroom, and as I entered into the living room, I ran into Burns leaving Wanda's room in his boxers.

"What the hell? Are you sleeping with her?"

"Not in the sense you mean. She had another nightmare last night."

I sighed deeply. "Maybe I should start sleeping on the couch."

It's not the worst idea you've ever had," Burns replied.

"I'm going in there."

"Just be careful. Don't do anything to upset her."

"I won't."

I entered the bedroom quietly, and Wanda was curled up on her side asleep. Her hair looked golden in the sunlight. Her lips were pouty. She was beyond beautiful. She was—angelic. I sat on the bed next to her and stroked her hair. I wanted to climb in with her.

She stirred and then opened her eyes. "Nate what are you doing here?"

"My best friend is running around in his boxers again. Still having bad dreams?"

"Not as often."

I wanted to hold her, but I remembered her promise to Ian. I thought it best not to cross any lines. "You get dressed. I'll make the coffee."

She entered the kitchen a few minutes later dressed in jeans and a sweater. It was a chilly morning.

"There's my girl." I crossed the kitchen and kissed her gently. She still seemed tired.

"Nate, are you going to work today?"

"That was the plan. I thought we'd eat dinner after the others had eaten, that way we can be alone. Why?"

"Because Burns told me he needed to go to town today, and I want to go with him."

"Do I need to worry about you and Burns?"

She giggled. "No, he's like my brother. I think it's cute that you're jealous."

I wrapped my arms around her waist, and she placed her hands on my chest.

"I want to go see Fluttering. I haven't seen her in a while, and I need a haircut. I figure if I tell her that I just stopped in to see her because I'm leaving soon that she won't make a trip up here."

"That's sounds like a good plan."

She pressed her lips to mine gently. Once, twice, three times. "I'm hungry."

I went to work preparing breakfast while she washed up the dishes left in the sink by the others who had eaten breakfast.

After breakfast, she shooed me out of the house saying she'd clean up. Another kiss, and I was off to the worksite.

At the end of the day, I showered and dressed up in charcoal grey dress pants and a slate blue, dress shirt unbuttoned at the collar. I headed for the kitchen to start dinner. I hadn't seen Wanda since this morning, but I knew she and Burns were back.

When she entered the kitchen, my eyes widened. "You look beyond beautiful. Stunning," I said with enthusiasm.

"Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself."

I rolled up my sleeves and got to work. I prepared steaks complete with side orders of onions and mushrooms along with baked potatoes and asparagus. Wanda wanted to help, but I insisted that she just keep looking beautiful. Dinner turned out perfect. She ate every bit of it. After dinner, I suggested we take a walk to help digest dinner.

"I have dessert planned as well. I have it in my room if you don't mind."

"No, that sounds wonderful."

Luckily, Victoria was still on my side, and she had taken the baklava and the champagne that I had Burns buy when he was in town to my room. When we entered, Victoria had the baklava set on a try on the bed, and the champagne was chilling in a bucket of ice. It wasn't a silver bucket, but it served its purpose.

"Now I know you are only eighteen but..."

"Seventeen," she said calmly.

My head snapped around. "What?"

"I don't want to enter into anything under false pretenses. I'm seventeen. There's only one other person who knows that."

I was blindsided. Wanda was still technically a kid. "Well, now that changes things. That makes me a pedophile." I felt like the wind had been knocked out of my sails.

"You want to wait till I turn eighteen?"

"When will that be?"

"March," she said as a matter of fact. I stopped and deliberately counted the months on my fingers. _September, October, November, December…shit! I can't wait that long! Hell, Ian's already taken her virginity. She's not a child. She's thousands of years old, right?_

"Ahhh, I don't think I can wait that long." I handed her a flute of champagne. "Seventeen? Really?"

"Really."

"I'm going to hate myself in the morning."

After we ate dessert and drank our champagne, I took off her shoes. She scooted back on the bed. She still reminded me of a porcelain doll.

"You really are beautiful." I knelt onto the bed and leaned in to kiss her. I slowly pushed her back as I kissed her. I unbuttoned my shirt with a skillful hand. "I've waited a long time for this," I whispered as she ran her hands over my chest. Her touch sent heat through my body straight to my dick. It pressed hard against my pants. I was dying to free him. My lips went to her neck. She smelled so good. She was unlike any other woman I had been with. I couldn't be sure if it was because I had waited so long, or if it was her youthfulness, or if it was the fact that she was technically an alien. Maybe it was a combination of all three. I only knew there was nothing to stop me now. I was home free, and I was loving every second of it. I brushed my lips against her collarbone. She seemed receptive to my every move. I pulled her babydoll dress over her head and discovered that this was actually a two piece outfit. The tiers gave it the allusion of being a dress. I tossed the shirt over the side of the bed and undid her bra. All the while, she kissed my chest. "I want you so bad." I pushed her back onto the bed and continued my sensual attack on her body. I placed my lips over her breasts which were perfectly proportioned for her slender body. I licked her erect nipples and caressed her upper body. I let my hand slide from her breast to between her legs. I felt the satin smoothness of her panties.

"No," she whispered.

"It's okay. I won't hurt you," I whispered. I went back to kissing her soft neck, but I continued to caress her pussy over her panties.

"Nate, stop."

I was too invested in this to stop now. "Come on, Wanda. You know you want this." I pressed my lips to hers. She didn't reciprocate.

"Get off me!" she screamed. She pushed me hard, and I rolled off of her. _She stopped me. Why? _I knew why. Her love for Ian and her guilt had stopped her from enjoying my touch. I lay on my back and used both hands to pull my hair back off of my face.

"I thought you were ready for this!" I lamented.

"I thought so, too. I can't. I can't do it."

"It's him, isn't it? I knew that ring meant just a little too much to you. I should have trusted my instincts." I was the pawn just as I had suspected right from the beginning.

She started to cry. "I'm sorry."

I blew out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry, too. I would have given you everything. You would have been my queen."

"Nate, I love you."

"Was there even a moment that you didn't think of him since you came?"

"Yes. I love kissing you. I didn't think of him then."

"You just couldn't give _his_ body to me." I was devastated. I had been waiting, hoping Ian would do something wrong, and he did. He did the worst thing a person could do, even worse than cheating, and she still wanted him.

"Do you hate me?"

I couldn't hate her. "I'm glad for the opportunity to try. At least this time it wasn't over after one kiss."

She got up and put on her bra and shirt. I remained on my back on the bed with my hand draped over my forehead.

"I can't help but wonder if I had waited another week if things might have been different."

"The dreams wouldn't have stopped," she replied.

"You were still having nightmares?" I was unaware of this. I knew about the two nights that Burns stayed with her, but I had no idea they were a nightly occurrence.

"Yes, every one of them was a variation on my walking down the aisle to Ian, and me betraying him to be with you. I woke up screaming each time. Burns said I couldn't stop my conscience as long as I loved Ian, and he was right."

_Just put me out of my misery. _"So, I suppose you'll go back to him, and the wedding will go off as scheduled."

"I'll go back to him, but I don't think the wedding will go off as scheduled. Just because I love him doesn't mean I still don't fear him, and I can't marry him if I'm afraid of him. And who's to say I won't still have nightmares when I go back?"

I sat up and reached for her hand. "I'll always love you."

"I know, and I'll always love you, and I'll miss your kisses."

I pulled her into my arms. "One more for old times sake?"

I pressed my lips to hers and kissed her passionately. She kissed me back with enough passion to get me going all over again. As I pulled away, I sighed heavily. "Maybe I should piss off Ian and let him kill me."

"You'll do no such thing, you hear me?"

"Your wish is _still _my command." I got on my knees and put her shoes on her feet. I grabbed her hand and walked her back to the house. I felt like I was walking to my death. My heart was broken into a million pieces.

I stopped at the steps. I could go no further. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She hugged me quickly, and I saw tears in her eyes as she turned away and walked up the steps. I had managed to hold in my own tears, but as I walked back to the cave, my body betrayed me, and my tears came full force.

I was in a flat out run when I passed Victoria on her way from the cave.

"Nate?" she called out.

I didn't stop. I ran past her and continued to my room. She was behind me calling my name.

"Nate!"

I got to my room and slammed the door behind me. I picked up the ice bucket with the champagne and threw it against the wall. I was angry and hurt. When the bottle shattered into pieces, Victoria pushed the door open and barged in.

"Get out!" I screamed.

"Nate, I'm sorry."

"She doesn't want me. She wants him, a fucking violent murderer! I'm just a two bit loser who thinks I'm special because I am the so called leader of a bunch of rag tag renegades!"

Victoria came to me and took my hands in hers. "You're not a loser."

I pulled my hands away from her. "Leave me alone."

"I'm here for you, Nate."

"Why? Why are you here for me? I dumped you just like I dumped Gina."

"Nate, you didn't dump me. We are friends." She pulled me into her arms, and I began to sob.

"It's not fair," I cried.

"I know."

She half pulled, half dragged me to the bed and lay with me. She held me while I cried. At some point, I fell asleep in her arms.


	38. Chapter 38

**If anyone has bought my book on Amazon since October first, would you please let me know? I am not seeing any sales on that sight, and I don't want to confront them unless I can prove that someone has indeed purchased the book since that date.**

**Other than that, please enjoy the story. And please review. I've been having a crappy week, and a kind word about my story would mean a lot right now.**

COMFORTABLY NUMB

09/14/2002 - I just woke up and according to the clock, it's only five thirty. I feel like shit. I thought I was going to have the love of my life in my arms this morning, and instead, I am alone. She broke my heart. I think I finally understand Ian's insanity at the thought of losing her. Her lips were so ideal, her skin so fair, her hair so soft, her body so young and so perfect. I am crushed.

I have cried so many tears. Now I am just numb. I don't want to do anything. I wonder how long I could lay here before I would have to leave this room. I could piss in the bucket that once cradled the bottle of champagne that I had brought to drink in celebration of my budding romance with Wanda. What a joke. I'm a joke.

I was lying in the darkness contemplating my pathetic life. No Wanda. Not even Gina. I ignored the knock on the door. It was peaceful in this room in the dark, much like a tomb. _If I died in here, I wonder if anyone would notice._

The knock on the door was more deliberate this time. "Nathan Downey. I know you're in there." It was Gina. "You are not aloud to feel sorry for yourself! You set yourself up for this!"

I could not face Gina right now. She was right. I set myself up for this. The problem was I knew I would do it again. I loved Wanda. I loved Gina, too, but she told me straight up that we would never be bed partners again if I did this thing with Wanda. I sure as hell didn't need her 'I told you so' speech.

She finally gave up and went away. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was about a half hour later, when I finally drifted off to sleep again. I was awakened when the light clicked on. I was afraid it might be Gina coming to exact her revenge. It was Victoria.

"Hey, handsome. You gonna sleep all day?"

"Is it still today?"

She walked to the bed and passed her fingers through my hair. "You'll feel better if you get up."

"For what? So I can say good-bye to Wanda?"

"No, but I remember a sweet guy telling me that when the bunkhouse is finished, I might get lucky enough to appropriate a room, so I won't have to freeze why ass off in the belly of this mountain."

"If I finish the bunkhouse, Wanda and Ian will get married."

"Wanda and Ian are going to get married regardless of whether or not the bunkhouse is finished. You know, bitter doesn't suit you."

"Tough shit."

"Fine. You want to be selfish. Go right ahead. You had Rachel cheating on her high school sweetheart for how long? Tell me she didn't have feelings for you. Oh, and Nadine. She won't even look at another guy. She's bound and determined to spend her life alone. Nadia waits and waits for you to show up, and it's not just to fuck you, you know. She loves you. Why do you think her father pushes you to marry her? A parent can always tell when their child is in love. And last but not least, Gina. She pretends to be happy with Evan. If she knew you could love her and only her—hell she'd drag you down the aisle."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do you love me Victoria?"

"Not because I want to. I am just sensible enough to keep my heart at bay. I'd do anything for you Nate. You saved my life. Now, save yours. Get up and go to work. Don't let Wanda see how she's destroyed you. After she leaves, you can dig a hole and crawl into it, but don't let her see you like this."

Tori was right. I didn't need to give Ian the satisfaction of knowing that Wanda had broken me. I climbed out of the bed and remembered that I was fully clothed when I climbed in.

"Did you undress me?"

"I didn't look at anything, if that's what you are implying."

"It's not much to see anyway." I said it as a test because I knew I was the best built man on this mountain.

"I guess I haven't seen that many dicks then."

She made me smile. "I knew you looked."

"You are so stupid."

"No argument there."

"Go to work, Nate." Victoria headed for the door.

"Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"I told you I'd have your back."

I dressed and headed out to the bunkhouse. The others were already there. All conversation stopped as I entered the room they were working on. Evan and Rob were running wires through the framework of the rooms. Tom was trying to hang sheetrock with Carlos and they were having a hard time of it. I immediately went over and helped. We were working nonstop for about two hours when I heard my name being called. I looked up and saw Wanda standing just inside the doorway holding a cup of coffee and a plate with a bagel on it. I continued to hammer the sheetrock into place.

"Nate!" she called out. "Can I see you for a minute?"

I kept hammering. The pain in my chest was so great. It felt like every time I slammed the hammer down on the nail, it was like hitting myself in the chest. I heard a weird squeak, and I looked up to see Wanda's face streaked with tears. She put the coffee and the bagel down on a table and ran from the room.

"Wanda!" I called out, as I dropped the hammer and ran after her.

I caught up to her, and she was sobbing. "I didn't want you to hate me."

"I don't."

"Just because I can't spend the rest of my life with you doesn't mean I don't love you because I do."

"Humans only love one person at a time. It's hard for me to accept that you could love both of us." This was biggest bunch of crock because I myself loved Wanda and Gina and maybe even Victoria. It was just different kinds of love.

"Well, I do. And I want you to know that when I go back to Ian, it will be with the understanding that I will always love you, too. He can't change that. I won't let him."

"No. He could just kill me. That's one way to take care of the problem."

"Stop that. I told you I love Ian, and he is the one I want to commit to, but this time, it has to be on my terms. I won't settle."

"Well, I wish you the best of luck. He is the prince of violence. Remember I am here for you always, and I will never hurt you."

We hugged for a long time. I didn't want to let go, but I needed to let her go with a little dignity. I finally pushed her back. "Call me, okay?"

"I will."

As she backed away, the lump in my throat returned, and I watched her until she was out of sight. I couldn't go back to the worksite and have the guys see me crying like a blithering idiot. I headed off into the woods. I needed to clear my head. I had been walking in the direction of my mother's grave. I thought if I could just talk to her, it might be of some help to me. I wasn't far from my mother's grave when I heard singing. I knew that voice anywhere. I stood still and listened.

"For whatever my man is—I am his—forever more. Oh, my man, I love him so—he'll never know. Oh, my life is just a spell—but I don't care."

I was drawn towards her. I stepped slowly toward her.

"When he takes me in his arms—the world is bright…"

I stepped on a branch, and it snapped. Gina stopped singing and turned towards me. Our eyes met.

"Barbra Streisand, right?"

"Right," she said in a quiet voice.

"It's beautiful. Your voice is beautiful."

"What are you doing here?" She seemed like a frightened rabbit.

"I was walking in the woods trying to straighten out my head. I heard your singing. I'm sure Evan knows you love him."

"I have to go," she croaked as she stepped past me.

"Gina!" I called out.

She stopped momentarily. "The song is about Evan, right?"

She nodded her head slowly. "Yeah, it's about Evan." She turned and walked quickly back towards the cave.

At that moment, I felt so alone. I made my way to my mother's grave. I was shocked to see a second flat stone lying in front of the stone that served as a marker. On it was painted a beautiful bouquet of flowers. It had roses and daffodils and baby's breath and ferns. It was almost as of she had taken the memory of a mother's day bouquet and painted it on the rock.

"Hi, mom—I see Victoria has been here. One thing I have to say about her is that she is true to her word, and she's a hell of an artist. My life is a huge mess." The tears began to pool again in my eyes. "I love her, Mom. I know it's a lost cause, and I should just let her go, but I can't. The week she was here was the happiest of my life. I feel like she died, and she took a piece of me with her. How did you deal with it when Dad died?"

My mother never loved another man after my father died. She dated on occasion, but she never got serious with anyone that I knew of. Was I destined to never love another woman?

"Mom, I love you, but I don't want to be like you. I don't want to be alone. I'm not getting any younger. I could love Gina the way she wants, but she loves Evan. I don't know." I began to sob. "I wish you were here, Mom. I need you." I fell to my knees and lay on her grave. "I'm so tired." My exhaustion took me, and I fell asleep on my mother's grave.

"Nathan, wake up."

I opened my eyes and Maria was staring down at me.

"Maria?"

"Yes, Nathan."

"I'm such a fool."

"Falling in love is not foolish. The fact that your heart still can feel these feelings, after all that's happened in this world, makes you a wonderful human being."

I rose to a sitting position, and Maria pulled me tightly into her arms. Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement. I turned my head and saw Victoria standing a few feet away. "Tori."

"I knew you'd be here," she said quietly.

"The flowers are beautiful."

"I'm glad you like them."

"I did as you said. I let her go with dignity, but it hurts."

"I know it does. How about we get you back to the house? You can take a long hot bath."

She offered me her hand and pulled me to my feet. Each lady took an arm and together the three of us marched bravely back to the house.

Maria offered to run my bath. Victoria said she'd run back to the cave and get some clean clothing for me. I climbed into the whirlpool, and my entire body relaxed. I draped my arms over the back of the tub and tried to put myself in a good place. I told myself that losing Wanda wasn't the end of the world. After all, she said she still loved me. She just wasn't 'in love' with me. How many women had I said that to? _All of them—except—Gina. _The encounter in the woods left me scratching my head. It was the words to the song that got me. 'My man, I love him so—he'll never know'. How could Evan not know that she loves him? She's in his bed every night. Unless—_she was singing about me._ Her reaction made sense, but why lie? She knew that Wanda had rejected me. She knew I had been released from…She wouldn't take me back. She couldn't take me back. I had humiliated her. I blew out a deep sigh.

There was a knock on the door. It opened a few inches. "Mind if I come in?"

"No, I'm in the tub. You can come in if you want."

Tori stepped into the bathroom cautiously. "I brought your clothes."

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you and Wanda."

"I don't want to think about it right now. I feel numb, and I have to admit it's better than crying."

"Okay, I'll be in the funhouse, I guess."

"Don't go."

"You want me to stay?"

"You can join me."

"Um…"

"Tori, you don't have to get naked. You can wear your bra and panties."

"Okay."

She was so nervous. It was refreshing to see. Wanda was only seventeen, and she wasn't nervous. Guilty, but not nervous. Victoria was adorable. Here she was twenty-four years old, and she seemed almost virginal. It made me wonder if she _was _a virgin.

She peeled her sweater off of her. She was certainly small breasted, smaller than even Wanda who was such a tiny girl to begin with. Although Tori was thin, her height and stature should have warranted at least a 'B' cup. She looked to be more of an 'A' cup. As she slid her jeans off, her long, gorgeous legs got my attention. She reminded me of a book I had read just before the takeover. It was called 'Avatar'. In it, the author described the inhabitants of the planet as slender, ten feet tall, long limbed, beautiful, and blue. Okay, Tori wasn't blue, but she was tall, long limbed, and beautiful.

I slid from my seat to reach out and help her into the tub.

"Don't get up!" she said in a panic.

"You've already seen it, remember?"

"I'm not proud that I peaked at your member."

I burst out laughing. "My member?"

"Shut up."

I was enjoying the fact that she was clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

"You can touch it if you want."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"As a matter of fact, I'd like it a lot."

She didn't answer me. She sat beside me, but she kept just enough distance between us to keep me at bay.

"Tori, can I ask you a question?"

"What?"

"Are you a virgin?"

"No! I'm not a virgin!"

"But you're afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you."

I reached out and stroked her face. "Then what is it?"

"I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid of that thing. I know it's been a while since I've had sex, but I don't think I've ever been with someone…"

"I'd never hurt you, but I respect you. I won't push. I'm just glad you're here."

"You scared me to death when you disappeared today."

"I just needed some peace and quiet, you know?"

"That's what I love about painting. It's just me and my brushes. I don't have to talk to anyone. I just let my imagination take me."

"You are definitely an artist. You know who else is an artist in her own right?"

"Nadine?"

"No, why Nadine?"

"Make up."

"Oh, no I was talking about Gina."

Tori creased her brow. "Gina? Why Gina?"

"She sings like a bird. It's beautiful."

"Really? I didn't know."

"I came upon her in the woods today. She was singing a song from an old Barbra Streisand movie. She acted strange when I came upon her. It's not as if I'd never heard her sing before. It was like I caught her."

"Maybe it was the song. Maybe it meant something to her."

"That's what I thought. The words were oh, my man, I love him so. He'll never know."

"Jesus, Nate. You are so stupid. She was singing about you."

"She told me before Wanda came that if I pursued Wanda that it was over between me and her. She said she'd never come to my bed again."

"It doesn't mean she doesn't love you. It means she doesn't want to put herself in the position of losing you again."

"Hmm."

I sat in silence for a few beats. "I guess I'm hard to love."

"Loving you is the easy part. It's getting that love in return that's a real bitch."

Her comment hit me like a ton of bricks. "What are you saying Victoria?"

"Too much. I'm sure. I have to go check on Danny."

She got up to climb out of the tub. I grabbed her by the arm. "Tori, are you in love with me?"

"No."

She pulled away and climbed out of the tub. I stood up and faced her.

"Here, cover yourself. You're erect," she said holding out a towel.

I didn't have the heart to tell her I was only halfway there.

"Tori, why won't you talk to me?"

"She turned to me in anger. "Because you are in love with Wanda. Gina can't handle it, and I don't think I can either. You have so many women that want you, but you choose the one you can't have. You're not stupid! You're an asshole!"

"Fine! I was perfectly happy wallowing in my room!"

"Fine!" With that, Tori stomped out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and carrying her clothes.

"Women! What the fuck!" I dressed and stomped off to the kitchen. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote in big black letters. 'DO NOT DISTURB—THIS MEANS YOU!' I put two pieces of tape on it and carried it back to the cave. When I got to my room, I slapped the sign on the door and slammed it behind me.

I rubbed my face and realized I had a five o'clock shadow. _Fuck it. Maybe I'll just grow a beard._ I stripped down and beat off. I needed the release. The problem was my brain kept switching from the beautiful porcelain skinned Wanda to Gina with the perfect body and those stunning breasts to Victoria with the beautiful legs and the neck to match. My imagination had the best of all worlds. I decided I wasn't leaving my room—ever.

Luckily, the events of the day and the sleepless night had left me exhausted. I slept like a rock. When I woke, it was ten o'clock which for me was late. I dragged myself out of bed, dressed, and went to the bunkhouse to work. No one spoke to me and I spoke to no one with the exception of my brother-in-law, Tom. The others were probably relishing in the fact that I got burned considering I had both of their girlfriends.

"You doing okay?" Tom asked, as he and I went to the far wall to run electrical wiring.

"Yeah."

That was about the extent of the conversation. The guys broke for lunch. I stayed behind and worked. When they returned, Tom brought me a Gatorade and a sandwich. I ate it quickly and returned to work.

I overheard Evan talking to Rob. They were talking about children. They both agreed that it would be nice to have children in the future. Rob said that after this wedding he was thinking of asking Rachel to marry him. Evan said that he would wait another year, and if he and Gina were still going strong, he would most likely pop the question. He said he didn't want to push for kids because Gina was still only twenty years old. He also said that she didn't seem too interested in children—if he only knew.

After work, I went back to my room and sprawled out on my bed and began to read Pride and Prejudice. I had read it before, but it had been a while. I skipped dinner on purpose because I didn't want to face anyone. I wanted to wallow in my own self pity. I got up at nine o'clock and snuck quietly into the house. The kids were in the living room watching TV. The rest of the mountain was obviously in the funhouse. Priscilla turned to me when she saw me enter.

"Uncle Nate, Mommy says you are sad, and I'm not supposed to bother you."

"I'm okay, and you, my princess, never bother me."

She got up from her spot on the floor. "Good, because whenever Mommy is sad, Daddy always gives her a hug. Can I give you a hug?"

"Sure you can."

"She came to me and holding that little girl in my arms reminded me of Wanda. My eyes filled with tears, and she saw them as the first tear fell."

"Don't cry, Uncle Nate."

"I'm sorry. I've just lost a lot of friends lately."

"I'll be your friend," she said sweetly.

"I'll be your friend, too." Sarah chimed in from the carpet.

"Me, too." Megan added.

"You ladies are great."

"I saw Gina today. She was sad, too," Priscilla said innocently.

"She was?"

"She was in the root cellar crying."

"Maybe she and Evan had a disagreement."

"Maybe."

I put Priscilla down, and she scurried back to her place in front of the TV. I entered the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge for leftovers. I heated them in the microwave and ate it quickly. I used the facilities and headed back to the cave.

My intention was to go back to my room, but my curiosity got the better of me, and I veered off in the direction of the funhouse. I stepped inside, and all eyes were on me. Rachel and Rob were commanding the pool table.

"I call winner," I said nonchalantly.

I noticed there was no sign of Evan and Gina. I guess whatever she was crying about was being smoothed over by Evan. Victoria was sitting next to golden boy, Blake, and they were playing poker. Kim was playing crazy eights. She got up from the table and said she'd be back. She walked directly to me and took my hand. She dragged me out the door into the cool night air. She wasn't wearing a coat. I took off mine and wrapped it around her.

"What's up?" I asked.

"You look like shit. When is the last time you shaved?"

"Shaving's overrated. I'm thinking of growing a beard."

"Why do you want to cover up your pretty face?"

"You know, the other day, Wanda asked me what I thought about her trading in her body for an older less attractive model. At the time I thought she was crazy, but I'm beginning to see her point. If no one is attracted to me, I can live my life as a hermit and not have to worry about getting my heart stomped in."

She took a deep breath. "Do I have to put you on a suicide watch?"

I chuckled. "No. I'm not suicidal, just tired of trying to figure out what everyone wants from me. I try to be a pretty straight forward guy. I lay it all on the line. Wanda is my dream girl."

"Well, we can't all get our dream girl or guy, or I would have married Johnny Depp."

"Well, there are two other girls I'm interested in, but neither of them wants to talk to me right now, and I'm sick and tired of trying to figure out what the hell is going through their minds. I'd rather be a long haired hippy freak and beat off into a sock every night. At least I don't have to argue with a sock, and if Wanda shows up, the sock is trash."

"That's disgusting."

"Are you gonna tell me Tom never beats off?"

"No! He has me!"

I just shook me head and laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"Sis, go back to your happy life and leave me alone."

I decided to forgo the pool game and stomped off into the darkness.


	39. Chapter 39

**Let me tell you how much I love you guys who read Nate's Diary. I have another story called Plum Crazy. It has a ton of readers compared to this story, but literally no one reviews. Tell me how 200 people can read a story and only 2 review. That's 1%. This story only has like 35 readers, and I get an average of 5 reviews per chapter. That's like 13%. In a perfect word, everyone would review, but I guess it's not a perfect world, and this isn't a perfect story….**

TORI ON MY MIND

09/16/2002 – I've given up on life. Maybe the gypsies have the right idea. Live in a small group and be leery of all who approach you. That's my new philosophy. I'm tired of being a player. That's what I am. It's not intentional. It seems every woman I bed has been purely for the purpose of getting laid. I have tried to make this perfectly clear to every woman I have been with and yet, with the exception of Rachel, I always end up in the middle of a jealous tirade. Hell, I haven't even slept with Victoria, and I'm already getting it from her. I mean, shit, I'm not jealous of Evan. Okay, I'm jealous of Ian, but that's because I love Wanda.

I stopped writing and threw my head back. I knew exactly how Victoria felt. I hadn't slept with Wanda, but I was still in love with her. I would do everything I could to remain her friend in the hopes that one day, she might take the chance on me. Victoria was my best friend, and she was always there for me, and instead of seeing that she loves me, I use her. I am just like Wanda.

Victoria wants to go to the next level, but she's afraid, not of my physical prowess, but of getting her heart broken. Gina's heart is already broken. I was sure that Priscilla had caught Gina in the root cellar shortly after our chance meeting in the woods. Victoria was right. Gina was singing about me.

I picked up my pen and continued the entry into my journal.

I am living my life as a hermit right now, but I can't stay holed up in my room forever. I need to make some decisions.

There are three women in my life: Wanda, Gina, and Victoria.

Wanda is the love of my life. I know I would do anything for her. The problem is although she loves me, she's 'in love' with Ian. Nothing is going to change that. I need to accept that. I need to move on with my life and keep my love for her tucked away in my heart. I will be there for her when she needs me and never lose the hope that one day, far in the future, I might get lucky enough to once again command her attention.

Gina. What I have done to Gina. She gives me her heart and her beautiful body, and I continually pull her into my world only to smash her dreams. I need to let her go as well. Evan is good for her. It hurts me to let her go. I only hope I can. They say the flesh is weak, and Gina's flesh is fucking fantastic. Think with your head, Nate not with your dick.

Victoria has become my best friend. Burns is like a brother to me, but since he has found Lily, his attention is drawn to her. I can't blame him. They say the person you marry should be your best friend. I'm not ready to marry, but if there is any constant in my life right now, it's Victoria. I need to apologize to her. And I need to find out what is going through her mind.

I closed my journal and dropped it on the floor. I felt my face. My five o'clock shadow was becoming a two day rag. _Maybe I'll shave it tomorrow. _I got up, threw on my work clothes, and headed to the house for breakfast.

Again, I found Danny and his partner in crime in the living room eating cereal and watching cartoons. I quickly made my way to the bathroom for my morning ritual. As I stared at myself in the mirror, I thought the beard didn't look so bad. Maybe I could get Rachel to trim it up for me.

When I entered the kitchen, I saw that coffee was made. There was also fresh blueberry muffins still warm wrapped in a towel in a basket. I left the kitchen and approached the boys.

"Danny, where's your sister?"

"Um—I don't know. I think she went to the root cellar, but I'm not sure. She just told me not to miss school."

"Thanks."

I went to the root cellar, but she wasn't there. Her mural was coming along quite nicely. _I wonder where she is? _I went back to the house and was greeted by Rob and Carl who were munching on the muffins and coffee. Evan and Tom showed up a few minutes later.

"What's with the beard?" Evan asked.

"New look," I replied.

"It makes you look older," Tom replied.

"Does it?"

"I didn't want to say anything," Carl added.

"Hey, any of you seen Victoria this morning?"

"Nope. I figured she made the muffins and headed off to paint."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

We spent our day finishing up the wiring in the bunkhouse. At lunch, I saw Gina. I had no idea what to say to her, so I just acted cordial and greeted her as I would any other female on the mountain.

"Good afternoon, you look lovely as always."

Her response was, "You're growing a beard. I'm not sure if I like it. It makes you look older."

Considering that I already had six years on her, I guess she wouldn't want me to look older, but I had to keep in mind that she was Evan's girl, and I wasn't trying to impress her. "I'll take it into consideration. Thanks for your input."

It was such a plastic reply. Even Evan looked at me funny. There was no sign of Victoria. I was beginning to worry. At lunch, I asked several others if they had seen Tori, and no one had. She wouldn't take off without Danny, would she?

That afternoon, we began hammering the sheet rock in all of the rooms. The place was starting to look like a real house. I was pretty impressed with the work we had done. After we finished for the day, I decided I needed to find Victoria. I headed back to the cave. The first place I went was Tori's room. It was empty. Her bed was neatly made, and her clothes were neatly stacked on the shelves that I had given to her on the day we set up the room. Danny's bed was not made.

I headed back to my room. I ran into of all people, Blake.

"Blake, have you seen Victoria?"

He scratched his head. "No, I don't remember seeing her at all. I should see her tonight. She plays poker with us."

"Thanks." I moved quickly to my room. The 'Do not disturb' sign was still on the door. I ripped it off and crumpled it in my hands. I grabbed clean clothes and bolted for the house. As soon as I got inside, I searched for Victoria. Maria and Aunt Sue were in the kitchen cooking up a storm. Nadine, Hector, and Uncle George were watching Fiddler on the Roof.

"Have any of you seen Victoria today?"

I got the same answer over and over again. No one had seen her. _Damn it!_

"If you see her, would you tell her that I am looking for her?"

"Sure," they all replied in unison.

I checked the root cellar again. Miranda and Kim were doing laundry.

"Hi, have any of you ladies seen Victoria?"

Miranda answered me quickly and went back to folding her clothes. Kim, on the other hand, knew by the tone of my voice that something was wrong. "Is she missing?"

"I don't know. I only know that I can't find her, and no one has seen her all day."

"Did you look everywhere?"

"Everywhere I could think of. Listen, I'm going to Mom's grave. Tori knows where it is, and I'm hoping that maybe she just took a walk."

"All day? It will be getting dark soon."

I swallowed hard. "I know. If you see her, please tell her I'm looking for her."

"I will. Nate?"

"Yeah?"

"Be careful out there. Remember the bear from a few years ago?"

That was the last thing I wanted to hear. I knew that Victoria was capable of taking care of herself, but I doubted that she would have had the forethought to take a gun with her. I took off at a sprint into the woods using the markers that I had shown Victoria. It took a half hour to get to the grave. There was no sign of her.

"VICTORIA!" I yelled.

Again and again I called her. My heart was racing now. I was in a dead panic. _Please, if there is a god, don't let anything happen to her. _I walked back to the house calling her name the whole way. I trudged up the back steps to the house. When I entered, I announced to kids who had once again taken over the TV, "I can't find Victoria!"

Carlos turned to me. "She's in the bathroom taking a shower."

A flood of emotions took over, relief being at the top of the list. I walked into the bathroom without knocking.

"Victoria!"

"Nate, get the hell out! I'm taking a shower!"

I opened the shower door. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Where the hell have you been?"

"I was at the ball field painting. Now get out!"

I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of the shower. I threw my arms around her and pulled her tight to my body. "You scared me to death. I've been looking for you all day. No one has seen you. I thought something happened to you. I even went to my mother's grave looking for you!"

"Nate, I'm wet."

"I don't care." My body hitched as my emotions gave way to tears.

Tori pulled back and looked into my eyes. "Nate, are you crying?"

"I'm sorry, you were right. I'm an asshole."

"Can I finish my shower?"

"You're beautiful. You know that?"

She looked at me sideways. "You're crazy."

"We need to talk."

"I feel a little awkward right now. I mean, I'm naked and wet."

I smiled for the first time since I had entered the room. "It's not a bad look for you."

"We can talk later. I'll meet you in your room. We can talk then."

I brushed the wet hair behind her ear and caressed her face. "Sure." I let my hand slide to her ass. She had a great ass. All the years she spent in the woods running had kept her muscles lean and hard.

Victoria grabbed my hand. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Is it working?"

"Nate," she protested.

"I haven't eaten. I'm starving."

"Then you should go eat."

"Thank you for the invite." With that, I got down on my knees. I tried to part her legs.

"Nate, what are you doing?"

"What I should have done a long time ago." I began to kiss her beautiful thighs.

"Oh—my god! You are really going to do this!"

I kissed the soft hair as I pushed her legs apart. I let my tongue tickle her labia.

"Shit!"

"Mmmmm," I hummed as I pushed my tongue to her g-spot. I felt her legs go weak.

"I—I don't know if I can do this."

I stopped. "What? You don't like it?"

"I'm gonna fall on my ass."

I smiled. "Maybe you should lie down." I grabbed a towel and laid it on the floor. I bade her to lie on it. I got on my hands and knees and leaned over her. I kissed her on the mouth. She reciprocated. I brushed my lips across the nape of her neck and slowly moved south, caressing her body with my tongue and my hands. I felt the soft curve of her breasts and caressed her ribs as I tasted her nipples. My dick was tight in my pants, but this wasn't about me. This was something I should have done for her weeks ago. She was like a loyal servant to me. She had saved my ass so many times. It was my turn to serve her. I kissed her flat stomach and her perfect belly button as my hands slid further south preparing her for my oral onslaught. She tried not to moan, but when I pushed my finger into her vagina, she cried out.

"Ohhhhhh," she moaned quietly. She pulled her fingers through my hair and caressed my scalp. Her body began to gyrate in time with my finger gently moving in and out of her. I let my tongue and my teeth do their magic. It took less than ten minutes for her to climax. Her body convulsed, and she cried out.

She pushed me away from her and clamped her legs closed as she rolled to her side.

I leaned to her face and kissed her gently. "I'll see you later."

"Wait, where are you going?"

I stood up and looked down at her long, lean body.

"I'm going to get some dinner, and then I'm going to play a little pool, and then I'm going to bed."

"But—what about you? Don't you want me?"

I smiled broadly. "Sweetheart, I've had you, and you taste delicious. I'm satisfied knowing that you are still my best friend because the truth is I need you."

I left the bathroom and headed to the kitchen. There was a ton of leftovers. Chicken with mashed potatoes and green beans. Kim had made a plate with my name on it. I tossed the plate into the microwave and stood in the kitchen reveling in what had just happened. I felt good about myself. I didn't know how long it would last, but at this point I was taking my life one minute at a time. After I ate, I sauntered off to the fun house. I entered the building and took command of the room.

"Who wants a pool lesson?"

"I do!" Sara called out.

"Come on, sweetheart."

It was about a half hour later when Victoria entered the funhouse. She stepped in slowly and stared at me.

"Hey, Xena," I said to her with a smile.

"Hey," she passed the pool table and sat down at the poker table.

I spent the rest of the night giving my undivided attention to Sara. She was thrilled to get my attention. At ten o'clock, I announced my departure.

"I'm off to bed." I turned to Carlos and Rob who had been taking turns playing against Sara while I taught her to play. "The table's all yours. I'll see you in the morning."

Everyone yelled out good night including Victoria. That night, I beat off again. I thought about Victoria lying in the bathroom. With the exception of her boobs, the rest of her was pretty fucking hot. I slept well that night. It felt good to know that I had finally satisfied someone besides myself. I thought about Nadia. It had been nearly six weeks since I had gone to the gypsies. I decided I would go as soon as Burns returned from the caverns.

The following morning, I got up early and went in search of Maria. It had been a while since we had a heart to heart, and I knew she was worried about me. I found her sitting in her chair wrapped in a blanket staring off at the trees. I still hadn't shaved and inevitably it was the first thing she mentioned.

"Did you come to me to get a shave?"

I stroked my beard. "No."

"Good, because I would probably tear up your face. I have a hard time shaving my own legs."

"Then don't shave them."

"What if I run into a handsome rogue who wants my body? How would it look if I had hairy legs?"

"Does that happen?"

"It happens to you, doesn't it? Why wouldn't it happen to me?"

I leaned in close and whispered. "I thought I was the only handsome rogue on the mountain."

She laughed. "My rogue will come. Mark my words."

The ground was cold, so I sat on the wooden armrest. "I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I was all right."

"Are you?"

"The truth?"

"Nathan, you never have to keep the truth from me."

"I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of dying alone."

"Nathan, there are two things I know in this world. One is you come into this world alone. The other is you die alone. There's no gettin' around it."

"Gee, was that supposed to make me feel better?"

"No, the part that's supposed to make you feel better is the part where you spend the time you have on this earth with the people who make you happy."

"What if it takes you your whole life to figure out who makes you happy?"

"Then you're thinking about it too hard. Who would make you happy right now, right this minute?"

"Wanda, but she's not an option."

"Who else? Don't think about it, just answer quickly."

"There's you."

"You thought about that answer, and while I am flattered that you are trying to make me happy, this is not about my happiness. It's about yours. Quickly. Who?"

"Gina."

"Ahhh, still got a thing for the rape victim."

"Yeah, but I closed that door but good when I spent my time courting Wanda."

"Sounds like you are all alone all right."

"There's Victoria."

"It took you long enough."

"What?"

"She's very concerned for your welfare."

"I'm concerned for hers as well."

"Does she make you happy?"

"Yeah. I'm comfortable with her.

"Good friendships are hard to find."

"True. Well I've got work to do. Have a good day."

"It's going to rain."

"It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day."

"My knee tells me otherwise."

"We'll see." I leaned over, kissed her on the cheek, and went on my way. I entered the kitchen, and Victoria was making sausage and eggs for the guys. She was never asked to make dinner because she always made breakfast.

"Good morning all. Good Morning, Xena." I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. She blushed.

She turned to me. "Just so you know. I will be at the baseball field again painting the inside of the dugout."

I tapped her nose. "Thank you. I worry when I don't know where my friends are."

I tried to remain in an upbeat mood for the rest of the day. The building was coming along nicely. That evening after dinner, I took a nice long hot bath. I tried not to think about Wanda, but I knew she must be home by now. I hadn't heard from Burns, so I imagined that the reunion probably went well. I suddenly got the sick feeling that she and Ian may have already tied the knot. After all, it was Jeb who was going to perform the ceremony. My good mood dissipated. After my bath, I headed back to my room, so I could resume reading Pride and Prejudice. I had only been reading about a half hour when there was a knock on my door.

"Come in," I called out.

It was Victoria.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I've been thinking about you all day, and I don't know how I am supposed to feel."

"About what?"

"About what you did to me last night."

I creased my eyebrows. "Try happy."

"Are you happy?"

"No. Right now, I'm not happy."

"I want to make you happy."

"Gina, it's not necessary."

"Gina? Is that who you are thinking about? Has she been here screwing you?"

"I haven't been screwing anyone. You are the only person I've seen naked lately."

"I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment."

"Tori, you are not a disappointment. I just don't want to use you."

"Then why did you do that to me last night?"

"I wanted to make you happy."

"What would have made me happy would have been to spend the rest of the night with you. Instead you take off and hang out with a fifteen year old!"

"I didn't think you were ready for all that."

"Did you even ask?"

"Look, I still love Wanda. Anything we have would be purely physical."

"Seriously, I mean that little to you?"

"No." I put the book down and got off the bed. "I didn't mean it like that. We have a friendship. It's a good friendship."

"Then why did you cross the line?"

"I thought you needed it."

"I did." She skipped a few beats. "I do." She turned away. "Fuck!" She bellowed. "I wanted to be here for you to help you get past this Wanda thing."

I approached her and turned her toward me, so I could look into her eyes. "I don't like to broadcast my relationships all over the mountain."

"Are you kidding? Everyone knew about you and Wanda!"

"And now they are all treating my like a leper. I wish no one knew about me and Wanda."

"No on is treating you like a leper. They just feel sorry for you."

"I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me!"

At that moment, my phone rang. "It's Wanda."

"Well answer it."

I shot her a look that I wanted to be alone for this. "Fine. But I'm coming back. This conversation is not over."

Tori silently slipped out of the room as I greeted Wanda over the phone. "Hello Beautiful!" I tried to be upbeat.

"Hi, Nate. I'm glad to hear that you can still call me Beautiful."

"Well, you'll always be beautiful. Nothing will change that."

"Old age?"

"You know, I think you could push out twenty kids, and you'd still be beautiful."

"Twenty kids, Nate? Come on. Don't even wish that on me."

"Well some of them would be mine of course."

"That's not even funny. You know, you're not so bad looking yourself,"

"Thou doest flatter me, milady."

"You seem to be in a good mood."

"That's only because I'm talking to you. The rest of the time is a very good façade, but _you_ sound happy." She thought I was joking. If she only knew the truth.

"I didn't sound happy when I was with you?"

"No, you did. I guess I should say you sound happier."

"Well, I _am_ happy—for now. It seems we are in the honeymoon stage."

"So, you haven't told him about what happened with me?"

"No. I think we are both avoiding the 'talk', but it's got to happen soon or the whole relationship will be a sham."

"Well, just make sure you tell him that I stopped when you told me to, and believe me; I did _not_ want to stop."

"I know. I'm sorry about that. I really thought I was ready to take the next step."

"I knew you weren't, but I so wanted you to be, that I lied to myself. I am just as much at fault."

"It doesn't matter. The truth is we have feelings for each other, and no matter how much I love Ian, nothing is going to change that—at least for me."

I was silent. If she loved me, then why didn't she give us a little while longer? A week, even. I may have been able to change her mind.

"Nate?"

I didn't know what to say. I felt claustrophobic. I had to get out into the fresh air.

"Nate?"

I was trying to force back the lump in my throat. "I'm here."

"Listen, Jamie is with me, and he wants to speak to Megan. Maybe you could look for her while we talk."

"Okay, she's in the house with Sarah, I think."

"Where are you?"

"Um…" I panicked. I didn't want her to know that I had been holed up in my room sulking. "I'm in the second building. I was in the game room, but it's quiet in here. It's cold out tonight. I can't believe it's almost October."

"Oh, crap!"

"What?"

"Ian's birthday is next week!"

"So? You have plenty of time to plan a party."

"That's not it. If we have 'the talk' now, I could ruin his birthday."

"So, you're going to wait another week?"

"I don't know."

"If it were me, I'd rather know the truth as soon as possible, so that I could move on," I said flatly.

"You think he'll leave me?" There was panic in her voice.

"I meant move on with the relationship."

"Oh." There was silence between us. I was moving quickly toward the house.

"Well, you do what you think is right. I'm always here for you if you need me," I reassured her.

"I know that."

"And for the record, I'm still in love with you."

As luck would have it, I ran into Megan on the path to the house. I signaled to her, and she stopped immediately when she saw me on the phone.

"Nate, you're going to make me cry!"

"Don't cry, be happy. Megan is right here chewing at the bit to talk to Jamie."

"Okay, I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye, Beautiful." It hurt like hell to say good-bye.

I handed the phone to Megan "Leave the phone on the kitchen table. I'll get it in the morning."

I turned and headed back to my room. I hoped Victoria wouldn't return. I wasn't in the mood for her pity, and I certainly didn't want to have to defend my sadness. I stripped down to my T-shirt and boxers, climbed into bed, and pulled the covers over my head. I lay there for a good half hour trying to come to grips with the fact that she was lying in Ian's bed giving him the love that in my opinion, he didn't deserve.

There was knock on the door. I didn't answer. The door opened.

"Nate?"

It was Victoria.

"Go away."

I heard her enter and shut the door. She didn't turn on the light. It was pitch black in the room. I could hear her moving cautiously towards the bed.

"Victoria, I told you to go away!"

"No," she replied softly.

I was waiting for her to find the light and turn it on. Instead, I heard her kick off her shoes. Then I heard her unzip her pants.

"Victoria, what are you doing?"

I reached over and turned on the light. Tori was in a state of semi-undress. She pulled her T-shirt over her head revealing her bra and panties. She walked around the side of the bed and lifted the blanket. "You can pretend I'm Wanda." She turned off the light and climbed in.

"I'm not going to pretend you're Wanda."

"Look, I'm giving you 'carte blanche'. You can roll over and go to sleep, or you can hold me in your arms, or you can have your way with me."

"Victoria," I scolded.

"You need this. Don't tell me that you don't. Call me Wanda if it makes you feel better. You can even call me Gina again if you want."

I reached over and turned on the light. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust. "I'm sorry I called you Gina."

"You're forgiven. Now turn off the light."

"I'm not going to screw you," I said with conviction.

"Fine, then we'll go to sleep." She leaned over the top of me to turn out the light. Her breast hovered inches from my face. The room fell into darkness, and Tori snuggled into my chest. No words were spoken. We lay quietly. I could smell the fragrance of perfume or body lotion that Tori was wearing. It smelled light and sweet, like her. It was nice. I draped my arm around her shoulder. After a minute, she slid her hand under my T-shirt and let her hand glide slowly across my abdomen. My muscles contracted from her touch, and I felt my dick twitch involuntarily. My body had become tight in the past months from the physical labor we were doing on a daily basis. She seemed to enjoy the definition in my abdomen.

I allowed my hand to travel down her arm to her elbow and back again. I did it again, only this time, my fingers grazed the curve of her breast. She stretched, and her hand passed over the top of my boxers caressing my semi-hard dick. I sucked in a deep breath in response to her touch. I slid my hand down her arm, over her hip, to her ass. Her skin was smooth and tight.

"Oh, hell," I murmured as I rolled towards her. "You really want this?"

"Do you?" she asked.

I turned on the light, so I could see her face. "No commitment, right?"

She bit her lower lip before she answered. "We'll still be best friends?"

My lips curled into a smile. "Absolutely." I leaned in a gently grazed her lips with mine. I pulled back and focused on her breasts. I brushed my fingertips across the top of her bra line.

Her face suddenly changed from a sweet smile to one of panic.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"You have condoms. Right?"

I smiled slyly. "Absolutely."

I leaned to her and engulfed her lips. She tasted as good as she looked. Between the kissing, she managed to speak. "Take off your shirt," she said softly.

I sat up and pulled the shirt over my head.

"Better?"

"Absolutely," she said with a sparkle in her eye.

I let out a quick chuckle and leaned to her lips again. She laid her hand on my pectoral muscle.

"You have great muscles," she acknowledged.

"Sweetheart, you ain't seen nothin' yet."

With that I slid my hand between her legs. Her pussy was warm and wet. I teased her as she grabbed hold of my cock and stroked it. After a few minutes, it seemed we were both eager get on with it. I rolled over and opened the drawer to my nightstand. I pulled the condom from its wrapper and placed the condom over my swollen dick with finesse. I scooted down to her pussy and used my tongue to pleasure her. She knew what to expect now, and she welcomed it. She was hyper-sensitive, so it took her no time to orgasm. Her moaning was followed by uncontrollable giggling. I was all business now. I wanted to be inside her.

"I'll try not to hurt you." I knew she would be tighter than both Gina and Nadia since they both had been sexually active for a long time. Taking Victoria would be damn close to taking a virgin. She opened her legs, and I angled my way in, slowly, and cautiously. She had her hands on my shoulders, and her hands tightened on me as I slid deeper and deeper.

"You okay?" I whispered.

"Uh-huh."

I started off slow and after a minute she started to move in time to the rhythm. She was starting to relax and enjoy it.

"That feels good" she cooed.

I smiled at her. "I was thinking the same thing."

I got up on my knees and pulled her long gorgeous legs around my neck. I stroked her legs as I pumped, and all the while, my cock was coming closer and closer to climax.

"Tell me if you get tired."

"Mmmmmm." I took that as a good sign. I kissed her beautiful shins and then my body told me that it was time to get serious. I leaned toward her and kissed her nipples. They were small and delicate. I started to increase the drive of my dick, and soon I was in a frenzy. Tori was hyperventilating. Now was the time I should be asking her if I was hurting her, but at this point, it was all about me. Two more thrusts, and I cried out. There were no words, just a guttural sound that reminded me of a barbarian. My body quivered.

"Wow," she said with a sigh.

"Wow? Really?"

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't know. How about 'you are the best lover I've ever had'."

"Gee, your head's not too big, is it?"

"It's about as big as my 'member'." I couldn't help but laugh.

"You are so stupid!"

"Yeah." I suddenly became serious. "I want to thank you."

She stroked my face. "You don't have to thank me. I enjoyed it—probably too much."

"Tori, I don't want to lose our friendship."

"Why would you think we would lose our friendship?"

"This tonight—was good. I mean it was great."

"Okay. No argument there."

"I want to do this again."

"Okay, still no argument."

"I don't want anyone to know about us. What happens in this room stays in this room."

"Oh."

"And there's another thing."

"I'm afraid to ask."

"I'm going to see the gypsies as soon as Burns gets back."

"O-kay…"

"That means I'm going to see Nadia."

It was as if the light bulb went on in her head. "Nadia is the girl who wants you to marry her."

"I'm not going to marry her. I don't love her like that."

"But you're going to…"

"Yes, she and I have been—you know—for years."

She covered her eyes with her fingers. "God, why did you have to be so fucking good?"

I smiled. "I'm good?"

"Nate! I don't want to lose you as a friend either."

"So?"

"We can still hang out in public, right?"

"Ab-so-lute-ly."

"I guess I should go back to my room."

"I'll set my alarm for five."

"Good, I don't want Danny to know I spent the night."

I turned out the light. She snuggled into my chest, and I kissed her forehead. I smiled. _This is going to be just perfect,_ I thought to myself as I drifted off to sleep.


	40. Chapter 40

**Okay, I understand that everyone is busy with school and activities and what not. I work 40 hours a week. I go to Jazzercise 4 days a week and I bowl on the day I don't do Jazzercise. I spent all of Saturday between selling my books at a craft show from 9-3, and then I had to get to my daughter's high school located an hour and a half away for her fall production of Cabaret. We got home at eleven thirty. The thing is, in my mind, I made a commitment to post Nate's Diary every Thursday and Sunday and Plum Crazy every six days. My rant is lack of reviews. Even my best friend uses the excuse that went she gets home from work, she's too busy to post a review, but she's not too busy to read it.**

**I'm setting up a contest between the two stories to see which story actually means more to the readers. I hope you will support the story of your choice, because right now, I may lose that will to post and go back to editing book 2 of For the Love of Brynn. For those of you who do review regularly, this is no reflection on you.**

**I'm just becoming depressed with all that is going on with the loss of Casey and trying desperately to sell my book. I thought it would take off on Amazon. I thought my FanFic fans would jump to buy a book. It's not happening…**

**My husband says why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? I tried to explain that it's not milk and each story is unique in its own way. I guess I'm just not that good of a writer….**

JEALOUSY

09/18/2002 – So, last night was a huge surprise. I've been wanting to hook up with Victoria for a while, but I could never be sure of what she wanted. I can only guess that the treatment I gave her in the bathroom was enough to make her crave all of me. It's a good feeling. I'm not in love with her, but I love being with her, and her body ain't half bad either. She has tiny breasts, but they're cute. Perky, I believe is the word I would use to describe them. We came to an agreement that we would be friends with benefits. This morning when the alarm went of at five, I almost slipped up and called her Gina. I covered my ass, though. It came out 'Gee, is it five o'clock already?' I miss Gina. She had a way about her.

Wanda's back at the caverns with Ian enjoying life. She called it the 'honeymoon' stage. To top it all off, he has his parents back. Wanda did the unthinkable. She took off with Kyle and kidnapped Ian's parents. They plucked out the souls, and voila, Ian's parents were still in there. After six years, they hadn't given up. I don't know what kind of shit the O'Shea's stepped in, but I wish I had a pile of it in front of my door. Maybe it's just the luck of the Irish. Just my luck, I'm Scottish.

I closed my journal. I felt good this morning. As usual, Victoria was right. I needed her last night. I wanted to do something special for her, but I didn't know what. I didn't want people to catch on to our 'new status'. This morning I kissed her good-bye but since neither of us had brushed our teeth, we were both very careful not to open our mouths. I climbed out of bed, dressed, and headed quickly to the house. It was still early, and I knew I would most likely be the first one there. I was taken by surprise when I entered the house and saw Gina asleep on the couch. She was still wearing her coat, and she had no blanket. I went to the bathroom and skipped my usual primping because I wanted to find out what was going on.

I leaned over her and shook her gently.

"Gina?"

"Go away, Evan. I'm trying to sleep."

"Gina, angel, it's Nate."

She opened her eyes and looked up at me. "Nate?"

"Yes, why are you sleeping on the couch?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

At that moment Victoria entered the back door. I looked up at her and smiled. "Morning, Xena."

"What's with her?" Tori asked, as she nodded her head towards Gina.

"Not sure."

Tori rolled her eyes, shook her head, and stomped off toward the kitchen.

"Gina, did you have a fight with Evan?"

"A fight would indicate that we would make up. No, we broke up last night."

"Why? I thought you were happy?"

"He called me a bitch again—and he did it right in front of Rachel and Rob! Tell me why would someone who supposedly loves me call me a bitch?"

"I don't know, Gina. Why did you sleep on the couch? You could have used the spare room. It's empty."

"I am not sleeping in the same bed that Wanda's slept in." She shot me an evil look. I wasn't about to argue with her. She looked like she had been up half the night.

"Okay, why don't you lie down in Burns's room then? The guys will be filing in for breakfast soon, and the kids always watch TV before school."

"I could do that if you think it's all right."

"Come on." I pulled her off the couch. I took her hand and led her to the bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the floor. I helped her off with her coat. She looked up at me, and her eyes pooled with tears.

"What's wrong with me, Nate?"

"Nothing."

"Why can't I find a man to love me?"

"I love you, angel." I pulled her into my arms and held her. It felt good to hold her in my arms again.

"You say you love me, but you don't mean it." Her voice hitched as she spoke the words.

"I'll always love you, Gina, but I'm not right for you."

"Rachel told me she would never allow Rob to call her names."

"That's because Rachel has the power in that relationship. You need to tell Evan about your past."

"No, I don't want him feeling sorry for me."

"You told me."

"And look how it turned out. You only care about me because you feel sorry for me. If I hadn't told you, you wouldn't have looked twice at me. Admit it."

"Gina, that's not true. Just because my heart hurts for the things you went through isn't the reason I fell in love with you. And you know the reason I couldn't commit to you."

"Fucking Wanda—I wish he'd just marry her already."

"Gina."

"I'm sorry. It's not fair. I have given you all of me and all she's done is nearly get you killed." The tears burst onto her cheeks. She quoted my exact words the night I broke down in front of Victoria. _It's not fair._

I felt helpless. "What do you want from me, Gina?"

"I want you to go away and leave me alone."

I wanted to climb into the bed with her the way Victoria did with me, but I knew it would only cause more harm than good—for both of us.  
>"Okay, you sleep. I'm here if you need me." She lay back in the bed, and I covered her with the blanket. She was sobbing, but I wasn't sure who she was crying over, me or Evan. I leaned down and kissed her on her forehead. "I'm available any time you need me."<p>

I stepped out of the bedroom and heaved a sigh. _Why couldn't this have happened yesterday before I slept with Victoria? _I headed to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and made myself presentable. I managed to force a smile as I entered the kitchen even though, inside, I was hurting for Gina. Rob and Carlos were in the kitchen with Victoria. I walked up to Victoria and kissed her on the cheek. "Good morning, Xena."

She turned abruptly. "Do you have to call me Xena?"

Okay, this was the exact thing I was hoping to avoid. "Sorry, I thought you liked it when I call you Xena."

"No, _you_ like it when you call me Xena. My name is Tori. T-O-R-I. And when are you going to shave that beard? You look like crap."

Carlos, who was not usually around for breakfast, responded to her tirade.

"Wow, did someone get up one the wrong side of the bed this morning?"

"Listen, you little pip-squeak!" She walked towards him with the spatula in her hand.

"Whoa!" I said, as I got between them. "Something's obviously bothering you. You want to go for a little walk and talk about it?"

"No, I don't want to go for a little walk! When is Burns coming back?" She was venomous.

"I don't know—soon, I suppose."

She turned her back to me and started scrambling eggs in a bowl. I figured that Victoria asking about Burns was a dig that she wanted me to leave. After all, I did tell her I was going to see the gypsies as soon as he got back. As much as I wanted to comfort her on this obviously jealous rant, I didn't want the others to find out that I was sleeping with her. Instead, I shut my mouth like a coward and sat next to Rob.

Evan swung the door open and stepped into the kitchen. He looked like shit. He sat across from me. "Women!" he grumbled.

"Tell me about it," I said in disgust.

"Gina broke up with me."

I nodded my head. "I heard."

He stood up and faced off with me. "I knew she'd run to you. Did you fuck her brains out?"

"No, but I can give it a whirl if you want!" I shot back.

"Knock it off! Both of you!" Tori scowled.

I reeled in my emotions. "I found her sleeping on the couch when I came in this morning."

"Likely excuse."

"Ask Victoria, she was with me when I found her."

Tori turned back around to face us. "Who wants eggs?"

"How about a date?" Evan asked.

"Do you want the damn eggs or not?" she blasted.

"I'll take the eggs," I said, as I got up to retrieve the plate. Our eyes met, and I tried to relay to her that she wasn't about to get ejected from my bed. I placed my hand over hers and gave it a little squeeze before I pulled the plate from her hand. I thanked her, sat quietly, and ate my eggs. She scrambled them with cheese and mushrooms and served them with English muffins. "These are good," I mumbled as I shoved another forkful into my mouth.

She placed a plate in front of Carlos.

"Why aren't you in school?"

"School hasn't started yet, and I don't have to be in till later. Max and Miranda are giving midterm exams. I'm exempt on account of I'm so smart."

"Where's your buddy, Blake?" That was a stab. I played it cool.

"He had to take the test."

"What was the test on?"

"Math. I've got Advanced Algebra. Blake's got Geometry."

"I love Algebra," I said in an effort to contribute to the conversation.

"I hate Math," Tori replied.

"Do you like anything?" Evan said in an obvious effort to push her buttons.

"I have very specific tastes. I _don't _like you, and if you call _me_ a bitch, I _will _take you down. You can bet on that." She turned to me. "Which reminds me, I haven't shot a gun in a while. I'd like to get in a little target shooting. Do you mind?"

I swallowed hard. "Um, you are only going to shoot at inanimate objects, right?"

"Yeah, so you better keep your asses moving," she said sarcastically.

"You're funny," I said nervously.

"Are you going to give me a gun or not?"

"Should I come with you?"

"Only if you have a death wish."

Tori served up the last of the eggs. "I'll clean up later. How about that gun?"

"Come on."

I led Tori out of the house toward the cave. We got out of earshot of the house before I went on my own little rant. "What the hell was that all about in there?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Bullshit. You pulled a major attitude as soon as you saw me talking to Gina on the couch."

"She's single now. You can dump me and run to her. No harm, no foul. It's what you're planning on, isn't it?"

"You promised me this sex thing wasn't going to ruin our friendship!"

"It won't as long as you're fucking me!"

I pulled her off the trail. I was about to blow. "Sit!"

"What?"

"I said SIT!"

She sat on a rock. I squeezed the bridge of my nose trying to get a grip on my emotions. I took a deep breath, was about to speak, and took another deep breath. I wanted to weigh my words carefully.

"Victoria." I used my hands to express my emotion. "I love spending time with you. You're smart and logical, funny and cute. You understand me. I've wanted to jump in your bed for a while now, but I was afraid that sleeping with you would ruin the perfect relationship we had. You—you sent me mixed signals. Sometimes I thought you were in love with me, and other times, I thought you really just wanted to be friends with benefits. Which is it Victoria? I need to know."

"I don't know. I love you, and I care about you. I just got you. I don't want to lose you just because Gina decided to dump her boyfriend. I can be your friend, but at the end of the day, if you're horny, I want you to come to me for satisfaction. Is that wrong?"

"No. I just can't have you going crazy every time I talk to Wanda or Gina."

"What do you want me to say? I'm not sorry. I was pissed off. I'm still pissed off."

"If I give you a gun, you promise you are not going to shoot anyone? Especially me?"

She smiled. "I promise. I'll take it in the woods."

We entered the cave, and I brought her to the stash of weapons. She chose two guns. One was a rifle with a scope, and the other was the Glock. "This is pretty."

I made a face. "You know, I don't think I know a woman who would call a gun pretty."

"I guess that's what makes me special." She pulled out a box of ammo for each gun. "That ought to do it."

"Don't kill half the forest."

"Maybe a squirrel or two. They actually make pretty good stew."

"Yeah, I don't think Maria and Sue would agree."

"I'll just chop off the tails and leave the bodies for the buzzards."

"You know you really scare me sometimes."

"Fear is good," she said with an evil grin.

"Not when you're the one playing with my dick."

She gave me a shove. "Shut up."

"Can I get a kiss before we go back into the public eye?"

She walked over and kissed me briefly.

"Seriously? All that freaking out this morning over Gina, and that's the kiss I get?"

"I still don't believe that you aren't going to run into her arms."

"Even if I did, I wouldn't forget about you."

"Seriously, you're going to say that while I have a gun in my hand?"

I took the gun from her hand and placed it on the ground. "Come here, Xena." I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her on the lips. It was a passionate kiss, the kind of kiss that would get your engine going. It certainly got mine going. I took her hand and placed it over the bulge in my jeans. "See what you do to me?"

"Just so you know, if I had a penis, it would be hard, too."

"Will you come to me tonight?"

"I don't know. Let's play it by ear," she said tentatively.

Tori picked up her guns and her ammo, and we headed out of the cave. "Have fun Rambo, see you at lunch."

"MY NAME IS TORI!" she yelled from the path to the woods.

I went straight to the bunkhouse and began helping Evan with the sheetrock while Rob and Carl began spackling the seams. It wasn't long before I heard gunshots. Carl stopped and looked at me. "Don't worry. It's just Victoria getting in some target practice."

"You gave her a gun?"

"Two, actually."

"She shot Ian and almost killed him."

The thought in my head was _Yeah, I'm hoping next time she hits him in the heart, _but then I berated myself for thinking such a thing.

"She likes guns. She just wanted to keep her skills honed. If we ever had an encounter, I sure as hell would want her on my side."

I resumed my hammering, and a minute later, Blake appeared in the doorway out of breath. "Gunshots," he said panting. "In the woods." He paused to suck in air. "Miranda sent me."

"It's Tori. Didn't Carlos tell you?"

"Carlos isn't with us. We had testing."

"Oh, right. Tell Miranda not to panic. Victoria just wanted to do a little target practice."

He stood up straight and made a face. "Seriously?"

"Seriously, she's a crack shot. She could probably shoot your eye out at fifty feet."

"Wow, you think she'd teach _me_ how to shoot?"

"Why don't you ask her?"

"Yeah, I think I will."

I suddenly realized that this could be the thing that brings them together. I felt a little queasy at the thought of losing my beautiful, long-legged buddy. The shooting continued for the better part of two hours. I wondered what she was shooting at. Nadine also ran in to inform us of the shots in the woods. I asked her to inform everyone on the mountain that Victoria was target shooting.

We broke for lunch at one o'clock when the kids got out of school. I was sitting at the table with Blake, Gina, who apparently had slept till noon, Carlos, Megan, and Sarah when Tori came into the kitchen. She pulled two squirrel tails from her coat pocket and dropped them on the table.

"EW! That's gross!" Sarah cried out in disgust.

"Cool!" Blake trilled with enthusiasm.

"Did you have to put them on the table? We're eating here." Gina scolded.

"What? You don't like squirrels?" Victoria said taunting her.

"Squirrel is okay. I much prefer rabbit and rattlesnake."

I looked over at Gina in amazement.

"What?" She replied. "I was one of two females. I had to cook. You learned to make due with what was caught."

"Wow, I feel like a punk next to you two ladies."

"You _are_ a punk!" Tori replied.

"Hey, did you return the guns to the cave?"

"No, I left them in Ian's room. I figured no one would go in there. I'll return them after lunch."

"Okay, how many rounds of ammo did you use?"

"You don't want to know."

"I heard the shots. I need to know, so Burns can replace it."

"I'll tell you later. I don't like getting yelled at in front of a crowd."

"I wouldn't yell at you, Xena."

"Hey, can I keep one of these?" Blake asked.

"Sure, consider it s gift."

"Thanks, I have another request, if you don't mind."

"What do you need, Blake?"

"Can you teach me how to shoot?"

Tori looked squarely at me. "Nate?"

"Clear it with Rachel. She's his guardian."

She looked at Blake in shock. "You mean you're not eighteen?"

"I'll be eighteen next month."

"I never would have suspected. You look older."

Blake sat up straight and tall. "Thanks."

After lunch, everyone went in different directions. I noticed Evan hung back, so he could speak to Gina. He arrived at the bunkhouse about ten minutes later, and he didn't look happy. He went to work taping and spackling the seams of the drywall.

I sauntered up to him. "I guess the talk didn't go so well."

"She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with an arrogant asshole."

"Hmm. Imagine that."

"Yeah, I'm not arrogant."

"You know, it's time to make a run to the gypsies. I was planning on making the trip, but you can go if you want."

"Are you insane? Gina will never take me back if I go—wait a minute. You were planning on stealing her from me. That's why you want me to go."

"While I admit that I care for Gina, I wouldn't pursue her unless I knew that what was between you two was over and dead. I learned my lesson with Wanda."

"So, you admit that you have a thing for my girl."

"I'm not going to lie to you. I was the first person on this mountain to get to know her, and yes, she holds a special place in my heart, and if I ever find out that you have laid a hand on her to harm her, I will be more than inclined to allow Victoria to take a pot shot at you. Of Course, I'd tell her to maim you, not kill you."

"Whoa! Why would you think that I would hurt her? Is that what she told you?"

"No, but I don't know that she would. There have been several people who have complained to me that you have referred to Gina in words that are not so nice. Words like that should be stricken from the English language."

"I know. I don't mean to call her those names, but sometimes, she just pushes my buttons."

"Then go to Maria or Miranda for counseling. Whatever your issues are, you need to get over it, or you won't have a relationship with Gina."

"I don't have a relationship now!"

"If that's how you feel, then go visit Nadia."

He sighed. "I'll talk to Maria after dinner."

The rest of the afternoon went without any unforeseen drama. Evan kept his word and spent the evening talking to Maria on the front porch. Victoria and I helped clean up the dinner dishes with Kim. By the time we entered the funhouse, it was already packed. Poker at one table, crazy eights at another, a puzzle sprawled out on a third.

"Tori! I saved you a seat!" Blake called out.

I shot Tori a look and gave her a forced smile. I wasn't about to show any jealousy even though I had to admit to feeling just a twinge. Gina was playing crazy eights with the younger crowd. Hector was a surprise to see. He was playing pool with his son, Carlos.

"I hate to break up the father/son duo, but I call winner."

"That's okay," Hector replied. "I'm tired of kicking his ass."

"Don't worry Dad. You're in for a butt whoopin'," Carlos replied.

"We'll see," Hector said confidently.

Hector finished off Carlos in short order.

"You want to rack?" I asked.

"No, you go ahead. I'll break if you don't mind."

I racked the balls, and Hector took the first shot. For an old guy with chronic health issues, he sure had a lot of power. He was like George. He wanted nothing to do with the souls' miracle medicines.

"Maybe you should be helping with the bunkhouse." I stated. "You seem to be pretty strong."

"My strength is short lived, but I'd be happy to help paint."

"You know that would be awesome. We'll be ready to paint in about a week. I only hope Burns comes home soon, so he can get the paint we need."

Hector took his second shot. He definitely knew what he was doing. He left me with nothing to shoot for. I figured I'd return the favor. Instead of trying an impossible shot, I buried the ball in a pile of solids which just happened to be mine. He would have to scatter my balls to get the cue ball out.

"You sneaky bastard!"

"Hey, you left me with nothing."

"Well, I won't leave you with nothing this time."

"That's what I'm hopin'."

He ended up sinking the cue ball trying to get around my balls.

"Son-of-a-bitch!"

"_That's _what I'm talkin' about!"

Now I had a choice of shots to choose from. I decided to take a more difficult shot that would leave me set up for an easy second shot, and that shot set me up for a third. After the third ball, I was without a clear shot. Hector had a few balls in a good position, so I opted to block the shot. It was iffy at best because if I hit the ball too hard, I could end up sinking the cue ball. I bent over to take the shot, and I saw Gina get out of her chair and approach me out of the corner of my eye. I stopped and straightened up. She stopped and clasped her hands in front of her indicating that she wasn't going to interfere. I went back to it. I tapped the cue ball and prayed. It slid behind his stripe just outside the hole giving him only one choice.

"Damn!"

"I told you, Dad!"

He managed to knock the ball out of its spot, and by sheer luck, it hit another of his balls into the pocket.

"Yes!" Carlos yelled and pumped his fist.

I was perturbed, but I didn't let on. Gina was still standing in the same spot looking like a little girl who was watching something in a place she wasn't supposed to be in. She was adorable. I waved her over.

"Will you teach me how to play again?" she asked in a sweet voice.

"Sure, angel. Let me finish this game."

"Thank you!" she said enthusiastically. _Oh my god. _I felt the hair on my arm stand on end at her cuteness.

I beat Hector, but not by much. He was, by far, the greatest competition I had on this mountain. Hector decided to retire for the night relinquishing his lucky stick to Carlos. I decided to teach them both. The good thing about this plan was I wouldn't be focused solely on Gina.

I let Carlos break. He sunk one by luck and missed the next shot.

I turned to Gina. "Now, remember what I taught you?"

"Uh huh. Look at the shot I leave myself before making a decision."

"Good girl."

She chose her first shot and explained her reasons for the choice. I leaned with her to help her get the angle of the shot. The sweet smell of her hair and my dick resting up against her ass left me wanting to take her right there on the pool table. After the shot, I noticed Victoria was watching.

"I feel like a beer," Tori quipped. "Is there any left in the fridge?"

"I think there was a twelve pack left in the bottom in the back," Kim replied from the puzzle table. "I'll go check if you want."

"Thanks," Tori replied.

I helped Carlos set up his shot, but I didn't lean over him like I did with Gina. The game continued in this manner until Kim returned with the beer. Tori took the opportunity to leave her seat and bring me a bottle. She leaned into my ear.

"She's flirting with you."

"Is she?" I asked innocently.

"You're so stupid," she said aloud.

"No worries." The truth was I would bed Gina in a hot minute, but I knew Evan would show up before the end of the night—and he did.

I was leaning over Gina, and my lips were right by her neck. My defenses were weakening.

"I bet you taste as good as you smell."

That was the moment Evan chose to enter the building. Of course, I was practically lying on top of her. We made the shot, and Gina turned beet red when she saw Evan eyeballing us. I immediately walked over to Carlos and helped him with his shot.

"Aren't you gonna lay on him?" Evan said sarcastically.

"No, he's not my type. You can have a crack at him if you want."

"Hey!" Carlos called out.

We finished our game while Evan watched. I still helped with the shots, but I was careful about how I positioned my body. The last thing I needed was for Evan to catch me sportin' wood for his girlfriend.

After the game, Evan asked Gina if they could talk. She reluctantly agreed, and they left the building for some privacy. Carlos decided to call it a night as well. So, the pool table was officially shut down since there was no one left to play. I sauntered over to Victoria and began to massage her shoulders.

"Now you give me attention? Now that your little crush has left the building?"

"Oh, come on, Xena. It's not as if it was going to go beyond a little harmless flirting."

"She'll be back," Tori answered defiantly.

"She left with Evan. She's not coming back."

"Trust me. She's pissed at Evan, and she would like nothing better than to get back at him. She'll be back."

She was a little too sure of herself. "How much do you want to bet she won't?"

"What do you have to offer, stud?"

I leaned down behind her and embraced her. I put my lips by her ear. "Whaddya say—I win–you spend the night with me in my bed." I thought this would be a good bet because if I won, everyone would assume that it would be a one night stand to pay off the bet.

"And if I win?" she shot back.

"If you win, you can spend two nights in my bed," I cooed in her ear.

"Hah! As if!" She pushed me off of her and turned to face me. "If Gina walks back in that door in the next hour, you have to make me breakfast for the next week."

"Fine, and if I win, you sleep in my bed tonight—without clothes."

"No problem, but I'm going to win this bet," she stated adamantly.

"So _you_ say."

I grabbed the last beer and sat behind Victoria. It was my third bottle. I thought it might be fun to taunt her.

"You know you want me," I teased.

"You're too old for me," she retorted.

"I'm only three years older than you."

"Right, I like my men younger. They have more energy," she shot back.

"Are you insinuating I don't have enough drive for the likes of you?"

Blake broke up the banter. "Shit, I'm getting horny just listening to this conversation," he admitted.

"See? That's drive for you—and he's younger than me. Perfect."

Carl had been tipped back on his chair. Now he let the chair fall forward with a slam. "Are you guys here to chit chat or play poker?"

"I'm here to chit chat," I replied casually.

"I fold," Tori said in disgust. She turned towards me. "Would you get away from me? You're ruining my mojo."

My brother-in-law, Tom, had previously been quiet. Now, he chose to make a comment. Unfortunately, it was the comment that led to disaster. "You guys are funny. You sound like an old married couple."

"Aw! You hear that?" I nudged Tori. "We're like an old married couple."

"A. You're the old one. B. The only girl you'd ever commit to is in a cave right now probably screwing the brains out of Ian O'Shea."

The problem with Tori's statement was not only did it sting like a bitch for me, but Gina walked into the building just as she said it. Gina saw the pain shoot across my face and stopped dead in her tracks. Gina's face fell, and she turned and bolted for the door.

Tori realized as soon as the words were out of her mouth that she had hurt me. "Shit, I'm sorry, Nate. I didn't mean that."

I knew why she said it, but it still hurt, just the same. I wanted out, just like Gina. I bolted for the door as well. I followed behind Gina, not because I wanted to chase her. I just wanted to be alone. I ducked into the bunkhouse. I heard Tori call my name. I hoped she didn't see me. I was angry with her, and I didn't want to face her right now. The very thought of Wanda making love to that prehistoric criminal brought tears to my eyes. "Why him? Why fucking him?" I said out loud. My anger came full circle. I punched the new drywall. "Fuck!" I clutched my wounded hand as I looked up and saw the gaping hole in the wall. Now I knew how Ian felt in the root cellar although one punch dealt me enough pain to keep me from doing it again. I sat against the wall and wept. It was terrible, this feeling inside. In my mind I pictured Wanda being strangled by Ian, the color draining from her face as she tried desperately to take a breath. I knew this feeling. He had tried to strangle me, and he probably would have succeeded had it not been for Burns and Ice. Now, those same hands were touching her, caressing her. It was too much for me to bear.

I sat there for about a half hour before I was able to calmly get up and walk to the house. It was quiet. Everyone had gone to bed. I went to the bathroom and washed my face. My beard was getting raggedy. I would shave tomorrow, most definitely.

I peaked into Burns's room and saw that Gina was in bed. I was about to close the door when she called out. "Nate?"

"I was just checking to make sure you were all right."

"I'm not all right. The guy I love is in love with somebody else, and my boyfriend, who thought I loved, treats me like crap. What am I supposed to do Nate?"

"You could try to be on your own. Get yourself some self respect."

"You know that's easy for you to say. You haven't spent most of your life at the mercy of men who only care about you because as long as you open your legs, you are of value to them."

"That is precisely why I think you need to be alone."

"I've been alone my whole life because no one has ever cared about me and loved me as a person with the exception of Kevin, and he's dead."

"I love you, Gina."

"You feel sorry for me."

"You're wrong."

"You love Wanda. You don't feel sorry for her. You want her because she's beautiful and sexy, and she's adventurous, and she's a fighter. She's all the things I'm not."

"Gina, you are a survivor. You did what you had to do to stay alive against all odds. You didn't get caught by the souls, and the humans you were with weren't looking out for your best interest. When you got here, you put your trust in me very early on, and you even went back to school. That is so admirable. And as for beautiful and sexy, I get a hard-on just thinking about you, so don't ever think that you are not good enough to be loved. Evan wants you back, and I'm not going to stand in the way of that. Now, go to sleep, angel."

I was still standing next to the bed. I leaned in and kissed her full on the mouth. I tasted her luscious lips. "You will always have a piece of my heart. Never doubt that." I was so tempted to climb into bed with her. Right now, I needed as much consoling and reassurance as she did. _No, it would be wrong in so many ways. Stay strong. Leave her be. You have a good thing with Victoria. _I pulled the blanket over her shoulder and stroked her head. "Give Evan a chance to prove himself." It took everything I had in me to close that door.


	41. Chapter 41

**Sorry it's late, I literally just finished it.**

STILL FRIENDS

09/19/2002 – Last night I nearly made a huge mistake. I almost let Gina back into my bed. Okay, so it was more like I almost invaded Gina's bed. The point is I did the right thing. I walked away. Gina and Evan may have broken up, but deep down inside, I think she is really happy with him. Happier than I could ever make her.

Besides, I've just started this thing with Victoria. She's not a bad lover. She's not Gina, though. But that's a good thing because I can enjoy Victoria without loving her. I mean, I love her, as a friend. It's just not the same feeling that I get with Gina or Wanda. Let me try to explain. With Victoria, it's kind of like when you're at a party. You've had a few drinks, and you've been eyeballing this one girl all night. For me, that girl is Wanda. The girl doesn't give you the time of day, but your neighbor is there. You've been friends with her for a long time. She's cute, but you know her. You know the things she likes, and they aren't the same things you like, but sometimes it's fun being around her because even when she treats you like shit, you know she's only playing. So, you think to yourself, maybe, Victoria will give me a tumble. I've always wondered what it would be like, and then you think back to when you were thirteen, and you got your first hard-on watching her catch lightning bugs in her babydoll nightgown. You know you'll never love her, but you want her just the same—for now. So, you hit on her and before you know it, she's your secret lover. No one at school knows because you both think you are too good for the other…or maybe it's the other way around. At any rate, you know you don't really belong together. You just are.

Damn! I forgot. I need to make her breakfast for the next week, or was it two weeks? I don't know. I suppose I should get my ass to the kitchen. I need to let her know that I'm not mad at the remark she made yesterday. I was mad then, and it sent me into a tailspin, but what she said wasn't exactly a lie. She just blatantly stated the obvious.

I wanted to make amends with Victoria. Right now she was my main priority. I closed my journal and sprang from the bed. I threw on my work clothes and bolted for the house. I reached the house, and Victoria was sitting on the back steps.

I approached her with caution. "Were you waiting for me?"

"Waiting? More like hoping."

"I lost the bet. Did you think I wouldn't keep up my end of the bargain?"

"Who cares about the bet? I was afraid to go in the house and find you with Gina."

"I didn't sleep with her."

She looked into my eyes. "You didn't?"

"No."

"I'm sorry, I hurt you last night. I was jealous, and the words came out and…"

I took her face in my hands and pressed my lips to hers. "I knew your motivation. I understand about jealousy. Still friends, right?"

Tori pressed her lips to mine and let them linger before she pulled back. "Still friends."

"I need to use the toilet. Then I'll start your breakfast while you make yourself pretty."

"Look who's talking. I'm not really a fan of that beard."

"Tell you what, I'll make you a deal. I'll shave the beard, but you need to promise not to disappoint me tonight no matter who I flirt with?"

"You could just flirt with me."

"I could, but I don't want to make the 'little thing' we have obvious."

"Well, if you think about it, wouldn't it be even more obvious if I'm the only girl on the mountain you ignore?"

"You have a point."

The guys began sauntering in as Tori and I sat eating the breakfast of French toast and bacon. Rob looked at his watch.

"Am I late?"

"No," I replied. "I just have a debt I have to repay, so I'll be making breakfast this week." I stood up and approached the counter, so I could scramble some more eggs for the French toast.

Victoria came up behind me and gently pushed her way towards the stove. "You eat. I've got this."

"I've got it. I'm making breakfast this week."

"The bet was you make breakfast for me, not the guys."

"Victoria, I'm in a good mood. Don't ruin it."

"Fine!" She plopped back into her seat and shoved a forkful of French toast into her mouth.

I placed four pieces of egg coated bread into the pan. Then I turned and leaned against the counter. Victoria was being to quote Evan 'a bitch', but I surely wasn't about to call her one. I took a more subtle approach; at least it seemed to me.

"You sure have been cranky lately. Perhaps, I could set you up with Blake. After all, didn't you say that you like them young?"

"I don't want anyone setting me up with anyone!" she growled.

Gina entered the kitchen looking especially glum as Tori had spit out her reply.

"I wish someone would set me up with someone," Gina muttered as she opened the fridge.

"Have a seat, angel," I said as I guided her from the fridge to the chair. "I'm making French toast."

"I don't have time. I have school."

"You have time. I'll write you a note."

"What are you, my father now?"

"No. I'm not your father, but considering what you've been through, I'm pretty sure Max and Miranda would understand your need for nourishment."

"Oh, Jesus," Tori scowled. "Look at the time. I have to go paint," she said sarcastically. She rose to her feet and headed for the door.

"Thanks for the breakfast, Nate! It was fantastic!" I said in a mocking tone to her.

She stopped and turned to me. "Thank you for breakfast. It was good. Tomorrow I want eggs—if it's not too much trouble."

"No trouble. Victoria?"

She looked up, and I tapped my cheek. "Don't I get a kiss?"

"I am not kissing that beard!" she protested.

I gave her the puppy dog eyes.

"God damn you!" she grumbled. She walked over and kissed me quickly on the lips.

"Even better," I said with a smile. "I was gonna shave the beard today, but now maybe I won't."

"You look like a damned Arab!" Tori ranted as she again paced towards the door.

"What's wrong with Arabs?" I called out as she disappeared. I finished the last pan of French toast and served it to Gina as Evan entered the kitchen with Holly by his side. _Aw shit. This can't be good, _I thought to myself.

Gina glowered at Evan. "I'm outta here," she said bluntly.

"No," I said blocking her exit. "You sit right down and finish your breakfast."

The guys all stood up and vacated the room leaving only me, Gina, Evan, and Holly. It was silent for a moment.

"Holly—Evan—would you like some French toast?"

"Sure," Holly replied.

Evan pulled out the chair for Holly and then served her a cup of coffee.

"I have to go," Gina said once again rising from her seat.

I looked at Evan sternly. "Aren't you going to do something?"

"What do you want me to do?" he bellowed with his arms raised.

"Jesus Christ!" I grabbed Gina by the hand and pulled her forcefully into my arms. "Who do you want to kiss—me?—or Evan?"

I don't want to kiss anyone," she answered adamantly.

"Wrong answer." I wrapped my hand around her neck and leaned in to kiss her. I enclosed my lips over hers and tasted her sweetness. I did this several times. Unfortunately, I was starting to enjoy it a little too much. I had to stop myself from letting it escalate into a full on makeout session. I pulled away. "Now get to school." I slapped her ass.

"What the hell are you doing?" Evan blasted.

"Do you remember our conversation yesterday?"

"I remember our conversation, and my relationship with Gina is far from over!"

Gina stopped dead in her tracks.

I stroked my beard. "Hmmm, good to know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to shave."

I smiled at Gina as I passed her in the doorway. I stepped into the living room and found Rachel lounging on the couch. The kids had gone off to school, and she had the TV to herself. I plopped onto the couch next to her and laid my head in her lap.

"How would you like to help me out?"

"Good God! What is that growth on your face?"

"It's a beard."

"It's a mess."

"How would you like to shave it off?"

"Now?"

"If you don't mind. I have a hot date tonight."

"With who?"

"I haven't made up my mind yet. It could be you."

"Ugh! Come on!"

Rachel dragged me back to the cave where she kept her tools of the trade. First, she used her scissors to cut the beard short enough to shave it. Then, she proceeded to give me a nice close shave.

"How are things with Rob?" I asked making conversation.

"Things are good. He's been really sweet, especially after he heard Evan call Gina a bitch. He was really shitty to her."

It broke my heart to hear this considering I was doing everything possible to push them back together.

"He's going to Maria for some counseling," I said in his defense.

"Well, I hope she makes him sweat before she takes him back."

I didn't answer. I knew if that was her intention, I would be her choice to make that happen. I was quiet for a few minutes contemplating what I would do if Gina did try to seduce me. I wanted to be that person, but then again I didn't. I knew if Gina set her sights on me, I was done for. She knew exactly how to seduce me. I was brought back to my memory of her lying on my bed in nothing but her panties doing her homework. When she rolled over and flashed those magnificent breasts at me, my dick took on a life of its own.

"You're being awfully good," Rachel said pulling me from my trance.

I had my hands in my lap because my thoughts of Gina had already had an effect on my physical status.

"What do you mean?" I said defensively.

"Usually, by now, you would have taken a cheap grab."

I chuckled. "Yeah, I guess I'm tired of pissing off the guys I have to work with on a daily basis."

"If I wasn't so damn happy with Rob right now, I might be disappointed in your lack of enthusiasm."

"I'm glad you're happy, Rachel."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Don't tell me you're pregnant?"

"No, but we have talked marriage."

I knew of Rob's intentions from the conversation I overheard between Rob and Evan. "That's wonderful!"

"We've talked about children, too. In the past, Rob and I were both pretty adamant about not wanting to bring a child into this world. Now that we know there are souls out there that are sympathetic to our plight, we both feel that bringing a child into this world may help to keep our race alive."

"That's a beautiful way to look at it. There a lot of humans still out there. We are not going to give up and surrender. I just hope that one day, we can share this earth."

"I hope so. We've made enough sacrifices."

She put her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. It wasn't a romantic hug but one of solidarity. We were separate, and yet, we were one.

"Okay, finish carving up my face, so I can go to work, before I forget my manners and ravage you."

She smiled. Ten minutes later she wiped the last of the shaving crème from my face.

"There, look at you! All handsome again."

"Thank you, sweetheart."

"Hey, do you really have a hot date? Cause Gina is single these days."

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I would!"

"I'm just keeping my options open."

I kissed her on the cheek and bolted from her room. I made my way quickly down the path towards the bunkhouse. I entered the room, and all eyes turned to me.

"Hmmm," Tom said. "Welcome back to the world of the living."

"Yeah, I was getting tired of being told that I look like an old Arab. I had a professional do it. I hope you don't mind, Rob. Rachel and I had an interesting conversation."

"Interesting, how?"

"Let's just say she's very excited about her future with you."

"Is she?"

"If I could only use one word, I would say she was exuberant."

"Do you think Burns would do for me what he did for Ian?"

"I don't know. I guess it couldn't hurt to ask him."

We ended up cutting our workday short because we literally ran out of supplies. The sheet rock was gone and so was the spackle. There was nothing more we could do without Burns. I guess the guys could take a much needed vacation until Burns got back. I hoped he would call soon.

Tori didn't show up for lunch, but I knew she was in the root cellar working on her mural. I was in the kitchen playing chess with Uncle George when Tori came in to wash out her brushes and grab an afternoon snack. She smiled when she saw my clean shaven face.

"Now that's the Nate I know and love," she said sweetly.

"I'm glad you approve."

She came up behind me, bent low, and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you," I said enthusiastically.

George and I finished our game. I went back to my room to catch up on some reading until dinner. The wind had changed, and a cold front moved in. It was a sore reminder that winter was coming. There was no heat in the bunkhouse yet, and this worried me. No one would sleep there if we couldn't install the heat in time for the nuptials. The funhouse had heat, but the problem was it was one large room. The door constantly opening and closing allowed the wind and the cold air to flood the room. This caused the temperature to drop dramatically. I made a mental note to have Burns pick up a storm door for the building to help alleviate the problem. It was rather chilly during the dinner hour and most of the people wore their coats through dinner.

After we helped carry the dirty dishes to the house, Victoria and I headed for the cave for our 'date'. I was freshly showered and clean shaven. I was looking forwards to my night of debauchery with my Amazon princess. I got the feeling she was excited, too. What we hadn't counted on was Gina. We ran into her just after we entered the cave.

"Where are you two going?" she asked.

"My room," I answered. "To play scrabble."

"Can I come?' She seemed rather desperate.

I looked at Victoria because I didn't know what to say.

"Sure," Victoria said rather flatly.

Gina smiled. "Thanks. I was hanging out with Nadine, but she wanted to read. I finished my homework, and I was going to go to the game room, but I don't really want to deal with Evan right now."

We entered my room, and I pulled the game from my book shelf. We picked a spot on the bed and sat. I opened the game, and everyone began flipping the letters face down in the box.

"Speaking of Evan," Tori interjected. "Are you gonna take him back or what?"

Gina shot me a look which did not go unnoticed by Tori. _Fuck! Tori's going to think that something is going on._

"I don't know," Gina replied. "I want to, but…"

"But what?" Tori pressed.

"I was thinking…"

"Come on. Choose your letters," I instructed in an effort to change the direction of the conversation. We each chose seven letters, and the game began. A few minutes into the game, Tori revisited the subject.

"So, Gina, What were you thinking—if you don't go back to Evan?"

"Well…" She shot another look at me. "I was thinking there's a good looking guy who lives with the gypsies…"

"Niko? Are you crazy?" I snapped.

"Why is that crazy?"

"He's only seventeen!"

Here's where I got myself into a shitload of trouble. Tori shot me a look of 'if looks could kill, I'd be dead'.

"I'm only nineteen. That's only a two year difference. You said that you wanted to bring him back to the mountain."

"Gina, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why is it okay for you to go screw Nadia, but I show a little interest in Niko, and you're jealous?"

"Whoa," Victoria interrupted her tirade. "If you two want to be alone, I can leave."

"No, Victoria, you were invited."

"Right, and I wasn't. Fine! I'll go back to Evan. After all, abuse is nothing to me!" She was off the bed and heading for the door.

"Gina!"

She was gone before I could stop her.

"GOD DAMN IT!" I was pacing the floor and holding my head in an effort to keep it from exploding.

Victoria began to put away the game. "Maybe you should go to her," she said calmly.

I was trying desperately to compose myself. "No. I'll deal with her tomorrow."

"Are ya sure? I mean if you're not in the mood, I understand."

I sat on the edge of the bed and sulked. Victoria silently slid off the edge of the bed.

"Breakfast tomorrow?" she reminded me.

I took her hand and pulled her to me. I was still sitting on the bed, and she towered over me. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

She caressed my face. "And you shaved, too."

"I shaved for you."

"I hoped it was for me."

I slid my hands slowly up the back of her legs to her ass. "Stay for a while?"

"I'll stay all night if you ask me to."

I lay back on the bed and pulled her to me. She climbed carefully over my body and hovered above me.

"Nate, you really don't have to do this."

"Tori, do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Shut up and kiss me." I slid my hand under her chin and pulled her face to mine. I lifted my head to meet hers. Our lips melted together. It was cool in the room, but her lips were soft and warm. My hands slid to her breasts, and I used my thumbs to caress her nipples. She was in control since she was on top. She tasted my lips and teased me with her delicate tongue. I tried to push my tongue into her mouth, but she wouldn't let me. She kept pulling away, and then she'd kiss my lips again. I was getting frustrated. Finally, I grabbed her by the hips and flipped her off of me.

"What are you doing?" she asked obviously taken by surprise.

"Are you trying to drive me insane?"

"What do you mean?" she said innocently.

I straddled her and unsnapped her jeans. I backed off the bed and practically ripped her jeans off of her as I went. She literally bounced on the bed as I viciously pulled them to her knees. I hadn't even gotten the jeans off when I went for her panties.

"Wait!" she cried.

"What?"

"Don't rip them. I don't have a lot of clothes." She scooted her feet onto the bed and lifted her ass, so she could easily glide the panties over her hips. I pulled the panties together with the jeans to her ankles and carefully removed them. I tossed them to the floor.

"Mmmmm." I began to kiss her long legs.

"Wait!" She stopped me again.

"What now?"

"Aren't you going to take your clothes off?"

"Eventually."

"No, do it now," she pleaded softly.

I kicked off my shoes, unsnapped my jeans, and slid them off.

"Everything," she reiterated.

"You like my junk?"

She smiled sweetly. "Very much," she replied.

"Maybe you can show me how much."

"I've never really done that before."

"Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

_Shit, she's practically is a virgin. _"I thought you weren't a virgin."

"I'm not, but I was still pretty young. I didn't do a whole lot of experimenting."

I had to admit, a great deal of my experimenting was done with Nadia over the years. This is why she was so free with me. "I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do."

"I want to do it. I just don't know how to do it."

"Tell you what. You let me take care of you, and then I'll talk you through it."

I climbed over the top of her and pressed my lips to hers. I was in control now. My lips caressed hers, and I slowly pushed my tongue into her mouth. Our tongues circled each other playfully.

"Victoria, thank you for being patient with me tonight. I promise you won't regret it."

I proceeded to kiss her neck and fondled her breast as I moved to her collarbone. She was so lean and muscular. I sucked on her breast which was actually quite pleasing. When I moved to her wonderfully flat belly, my dick responded. I kissed her muff as I parted her legs. The taste of her pussy brought me to full attention. I teased her with my tongue, and she began to squirm. She was very quiet. She moved her hips in a circular motion, and with each complete circle, she opened her legs more as if begging me to be taken. I pushed my finger into her. She was hot and wet.

"I want you to fuck me," she pleaded.

I ignored her and continued. I pushed a second finger into her. Less than a minute later she arched her back and let out long low moan.

She spoke quietly. "God, Nate! How do you do that?"

"I like to please. Are you ready to please me?"

"I want to, but I'm not sure I can."

I lay back and propped myself up by my elbows. "Go ahead. Touch it. Look at it. Examine it if you want. Get comfortable with it."

She scooted to her side and lay across my legs. "Your dick is like—Wow, but your balls are kinda gross.

I laughed. "My balls are like an ugly dog. Nobody likes them because they're ugly, but they are actually very sensitive, so you should treat them with care."

"You might not believe this, but I have never kicked a guy in the balls."

"You don't have to. You'd probably just shoot them."

She laughed quietly. "You have a point. Oh, look! You're not hard anymore," she groaned.

"Well, you can make him hard again like this." I took her hand and wrapped it around my dick, and showed her the technique I used when I beat off. She caught on quickly.

"Go ahead. Taste it. Pretend it's an ice cream cone."

She proceeded to lick the tip of my penis, and I was hard again in no time. It wasn't the best blow job I ever had, considering I had Gina's, but she took direction well, and she was eager to please. Talking to her and giving direction actually was pretty erotic. I was very verbal about what I liked, and Victoria seemed to get a kick out of hearing me talk dirty to her. The minutes passed, and I could feel the urge to ejaculate pulse through my body.

"Victoria, you can stop now."

She stopped and looked up at me. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"No, sweetheart. You are doing it right. It's just that I'm about to cum, and most girls don't really like the taste of cum."

"Oh," she said innocently.

I reached to my nightstand and grabbed the condom I had laid out. I slid it quickly in place and invited Victoria to climb aboard. The thing about Victoria was she wasn't very vocal. She seemed almost afraid to let the pleasure take her, and the fact that she was sitting in an upright position seemed to make it all the more uncomfortable for her.

"Victoria, aren't you enjoying yourself?"

"No, I am," she said nervously. "It's just that the light is on, and you're staring at me."

"I'm staring at you because you're beautiful."

"Nate…" She blushed and looked away.

I lifted her off of me.

"What are you doing?"

I rolled on top of her. "I want you to enjoy this as much as I do, and if you are more comfortable on your back, then so be it." I leaned forward and kissed her. "Better?"

"Thank you." She kissed me back, and I plunged my dick into her. I was in control now, and I held out for as long as I could before I exploded. She didn't really make any sound until the very end. She tried to hold back, but her body betrayed her, and she couldn't help moan.

I rolled off of her and to my feet to deal with the condom. By the time I turned around, she had scooted under the blanket. I pulled on my boxers.

"You know, I wish you wouldn't hold back when we have sex."

"What do you mean?"

"You were so quiet, and you were obviously uncomfortable on top."

"You have so much more experience than me."

"Is that why you like the younger guys?—like Blake?"

Her face gave her away.

"You know these younger guys are going to want to admire your body as much as I do."

I pulled the blanket back exposing her. "Nate, stop!"

"No! Look at you. You are fucking hot!"

"Don't be stupid. I have no breasts."

I chuckled. "You had enough for me to suck on. Besides, you more than make up for it in ass and legs."

"Are you a leg man?"

I shot her a sly smile. Truth was I was a breast man. Gina and Rachel both had the perfect breasts. Unfortunately, Rachel knew how to show them off, and that's how I got into trouble with her in the first place. I slid into the bed and pulled her to my chest.

"I promise I'll try not to be so aware of my faults," she said with sincerity.

"Your only fault is you need to learn to relax and enjoy it."

"I do."

I grabbed her chin, lifted her face to mine, and kissed her. In the middle of the kiss, my phone started to ring. I broke the kiss. "Must be Burns. Maybe he's coming home." I checked the screen. It was Wanda.

"Hello, Beautiful!"

"Hi, Nate."

"How are things with my favorite lady?"

"Things are good, better than good actually."

"So, I take it that you haven't said anything to Ian about our time together."

"Actually, we had a very good talk. He was incredibly understanding about the whole thing."

"Really? What exactly did you tell him?"

"I told him the truth. I told him that we got very close, but that I couldn't betray him. I told him about my nightmares. And I told him that I was still in love with you."

"He was okay with that?"

"He expected it."

"Wow."

"I know. I was pretty shocked myself. He asked that I think about where he is when I am with you because he doesn't want to see any physical affection between us simply because he can't promise that he won't lose it. He's really trying, Nate. He's been so wonderful these last few days. He's even taking dance lessons."

"I'm so jealous." Tori got up and gathered her clothes. She pulled on her panties and her shirt as I talked.

"I'm not saying this to hurt you. That's never been my intention. I just wanted you to know that I am in a good place right now."

"No. I know."

"Burns is on his way home, too. I told him to take care of you."

"Thanks."

"Maybe you should ask Holly out for a dinner date?"

"Killing two birds with one stone, eh?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, find a girl for me and take Holly out of the 'Ian' equation."

I reached out for Tori and pulled her back to the bed.

"Nate! Holly is no threat to me. I just thought you might keep each other company. I'm not telling you marry her!"

"I'll think about it. My other line is ringing. It must be Burns."

"I'll let you go then. I love you."

"Love you, too. Take care, Beautiful." I pulled back the blanket beckoning Tori to get in as I clicked over to the incoming call.

"Hey, buddy! I heard you were coming home."

"Wanda called you, huh?"

"Yeah, she just called. So, I guess the wedding is back on, huh?"

"Well, not officially. She's still wearing her ring on the right hand, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time."

"Yeah, that's what I figured," I said sullenly. Tori ran her fingers gently though my hair. "At least you're coming home. We need supplies for the bunkhouse, and I need to go to the gypsies. I hate to make it sound like we just want you back because we need you but the truth is—we need you man."

"It's okay. It's nice to feel wanted again."

"Doesn't your girl make you feel wanted?"

"Of course she does. This is just different."

"Yeah, I know. I'll see you tomorrow night?"

"Absolutely."

I hung up and tossed the phone on the table. "Burns is on his way home," I said as I turned back to her and snuggled up against her. I was hoping I wasn't going to get into an argument over Wanda. I had my head on her shoulder. I reached up and touched her nipple through her shirt. She didn't respond. She stared straight ahead.

"Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"Still friends, right?"

She scrunched down on the bed, so she was lying on her side. I scrunched down next to her and reached over to turn out the light. She rolled toward me in the darkness and laid her head on my chest.

"Forever." 

11


	42. Chapter 42

MY WEAKNESS

09/24/2002 – Last night proved to be very interesting. This morning, my alarm went off at five o'clock and Victoria discreetly got out of my bed, donned her clothes, and kissed me gently. She reminded me that she wanted an omelet for breakfast before she left me.

The nice thing about this setup was she wanted to be safely tucked in her bed before Danny woke up, so he would think that she just came in late.

It turns out Tori is not very experienced, which is not a bad thing. The bad thing is she's not very comfortable in her own body. I hope that time will change that. Things will be great as long as Tori doesn't fall in love with me.

My big fuck up of the night was once again Gina. Why couldn't I learn to just keep my mouth shut? But seriously, Niko? I don't want her with him. I love her, damn it. Somewhere in the back of my sick mind, I know I could take her from Evan if I had the mind to. She went to Evan because he was really the only eligible bachelor on the mountain over the age of eighteen. The fact that Niko caught her eye scares me. I have no right to be jealous, but the truth is…I am.

There was no need to get up early. There was no work to do. I woke at eight and laid in the bed for another half hour thinking about Gina. I needed to come clean to her. There was really no other explanation I could offer to her as to why I was so opposed to her having a relationship with Niko.

I finally crawled out of the bed and dressed. I figured I'd check on Tori before heading for the house. I strolled quietly down the dark hallway that led to her room with my lantern turned to dim. I turned the corner leading to her room, and I saw immediately that it was vacant. She was already up and gone. "Shit! I was supposed to make her breakfast." I said to myself.

I turned quickly and headed out of the cave and to the house. I entered the house and Maria, Aunt Sue, and Hector were on the couch watching an old black and white movie. I barely acknowledged them as I headed directly for the kitchen expecting to find her cooking. The kitchen was empty. I did a U-Turn and revisited the trio on the couch. "Did you see Victoria?"

Maria answered. "She came in her looking for you about an hour ago."

"Do you know where she went?"

"She was carrying laundry."

"Thanks."

I bolted out the back door towards the place where we did our laundry. I entered the root cellar, and Tori was lounging on a cot reading a book.

"Good morning, my leggy warrior princess."

She stopped reading, rolled to her side, and struck a seductive pose. "Good morning, handsome."

"You look especially delicious this morning."

"I feel rejuvenated."

"I feel hungry. You haven't eaten yet by any chance, have you?"

"No, I wasn't about to cook breakfast. The guys are all off, and my slave is supposed to cook my breakfast."

"So, now I'm your slave?"

"Yes, you're lucky I don't make you carry me."

I laughed. "Honestly I don't know if I could pick you up!"

"Are you saying I'm fat?"

"Hell, no. I'd just be afraid part of you would be dragging on the ground!"

"So, is my breakfast ready?"

"I'm on it. I just wanted to make sure I didn't disappoint you."

"Believe me, you are no disappointment."

"I was talking about breakfast."

"So was I." She flashed an evil smile.

"Come on. You can keep me company while I make your breakfast."

We left the root cellar and started towards the house. All of a sudden, Tori got behind me and jumped on my back. "Carry me, slave!"

Her sudden unexpected weight left me weak kneed. It took brute strength to keep from going down. "You're killing me, Xena."

She giggled. "See, I knew you could carry me."

"It's not the same. This is piggy back." I dropped her on her feet.

"Hey!"

I turned and swept her off her feet. "I meant like this. Your legs are so long and beautiful."

"Mmmm, I could get used to this!"

I slowly climbed the steps to the back door. "Let's hope no one opens the door or we're toast!"

She giggled again. She reached down and opened the door. I stuck my foot in to keep it from closing. It was so awkward we were both laughing as we maneuvered our way through the door. Everyone in the living room turned to look at us. The bathroom door opened. Just my luck, Evan and Gina stepped out looking like the cat that ate the canary.

I was stopped cold. It was a combination of guilt for having so much fun with Tori and seeing Gina with Evan coming out of the bathroom where she obviously had an erotic moment with him. I think I stopped breathing for a few beats. I smiled at Tori and kept eye contact with her as I placed her back on her feet.

I swallowed my pride as I turned back to Gina and Evan. "Good morning. Nice to see you enjoying this beautiful day."

Gina didn't say a word. Evan spoke for both of them. "This day is getting better with each minute that passes."

Then the worst thing possible happened. All of us stepped towards the kitchen. _Shit. They are going to get breakfast, too._ If I wasn't with Victoria, I would have grabbed a glass of orange juice and bolted.

As we entered the kitchen, Tori announced, "You were right. There's still coffee left in the pot. We need to grab a cup and go because your sister told me she was doing her laundry at nine, and that's in just a few minutes. We can eat after we're done."

She did it again. She saved my ass. I wanted to kiss her. Instead I played along.

"Sounds like a plan, Xena."

We each poured ourselves a cup of coffee and skedaddled out of there while Gina and Evan had their heads in the refrigerator trying to decide what they were going to eat.

As soon as we got outside, I took Tori's hand in mine. "You were amazing in there."

"Friends, right?"

I kissed her cheek. "Without a doubt."

"I still want my breakfast."

"You will get a breakfast for a queen. I promise you."

The rest of the day was perfect. I cooked a breakfast fit for a queen and served it to my warrior princess. I cleaned my room as well as Burns's room in preparation for his return. I washed his sheets and mine. I played a game of chess with Uncle George who asked me about my status with Tori. I told him she is the best friend a guy could ever hope to have. He raised his eyebrow at me and shot me a smile that he usually reserved for the ladies.

That evening, I ran into Evan in the cave. He was on his way to the fun house as was I.

"Nate, I don't know what you said to Gina, but she has done a complete about face. Last night she came to me, and I swear she gave me the most amazing head I have ever gotten in my life!"

I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart. She had held back with him for so long. It was how I knew that it was my heart that she held closest to her.

He held out his hand to me. "Thank you, man. I owe you."

"Just treat her right."

"I will."

When we got to the turn off for the fun house, I continued straight on the path towards the house.

"I thought you were going to the gameroom?" Evan asked.

"I am. I just have a quick stop at the house."

"Oh, okay. I'll see you later?"

"Sure."

I rounded the house and sat on the front porch. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. It was hard enough losing Wanda. I always knew deep down that having Wanda in my bed and my life was really a pipe dream. Trying to top the physical good looks of Ian was something I could never pull off, but losing Gina…this just destroyed me. The worst part was I brought it on myself. I pushed her away. The tears stung my cheeks in the cold night air. I sat on the porch steps as the sky opened up and wept with me. I was getting wet quickly, but I didn't care. At this point, I felt like…_could things possibly get any worse?_

After a half hour of lamenting over my self inflicted loss, I got up and took a shower. I needed to get out of my wet clothes. I hadn't even thought about dry clothes. I always kept a spare set of clothes in Burns's room. I exited the bathroom wrapped only in a towel. Gina was standing outside the bathroom waiting to get in.

I sucked in my breath. "Gina."

She leered at me and pushed her way past me.

The others were too caught up in the TV to even notice me. I walked into the bedroom to change. I pulled the clothes from the dresser and dropped my towel. I pulled on my boxers and just about had my jeans on when Gina barged into the bedroom.

"I hope you're happy now," she growled.

"You mean that you have gotten back with Evan? You mean that he's getting the perfect blowjob that I used to get? I'm fucking ecstatic!" I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster.

"You kicked me out of your room last night!"

"You said you wanted to fuck Niko!"

"I said that because I was hoping you would put a claim on me. I didn't know Tori was your type."

"Don't you see? I do these things to make you happy. You will never be happy with me, not as long as Wanda walks on this earth."

"And you think that Evan will make me happy?"

"I think after your little demonstration last night that he's going to try really hard."

"I did it 'cause I was pissed at you."

"Well, you can't take it back now. He's knows what you are capable of, and he's going to expect it from now on. I hope you don't let him down."

"So, we're done?" she croaked.

I couldn't answer her. I grabbed my shirt and slipped it over my head. "You should go."

"Why? Why can't you just love me?" She cried as the tears broke through.

"I don't have the right to love you."

She broke down. She was hyperventilating. "I love you Nathan."

I walked up to her and the pain in her eyes was comparable to my own. Something inside of me snapped. I shoved her up against the wall, and I pressed my lips to hers. I was like a dog in heat. I kissed her with a hunger. I wanted her. She reciprocated. She grabbed my face and kissed me with just as much emotion. I pulled her shirt over her head and grabbed her bra strap, peeling it back to expose her breast. I rubbed my face on her beautiful breast and licked it. _These were mine—damn it!_ She pulled my face back to her lips. I kissed her again as I tore at the zipper on her jeans. She did the same. I picked her up and carried her to the bed. There was no foreplay. This was me taking what was mine. I wanted in her and I wanted it now. It was almost like rape—only she wanted it as much as I did.

I pushed my way inside of her. She was holding onto my neck. "Yes," she whispered. "Show me who's boss." I rammed my hard dick into her again and again. The pace was furious. I screwed her until I was covered in sweat, and she was gasping with each thrust. She cried out in ecstasy when she came. I followed a minute later as I shot my load into her.

I collapsed on top of her, and we were both sweating and breathing hard. I needed another shower. "I do love you, Gina. It hurts not being with you, but if I know you love me back, I can bear the pain."

"Nathan, you didn't use a condom."

I laughed. "Your boyfriend could be standing outside that door, and you're worried about a condom?"

"What if I get pregnant?"

"I'll hope it's mine."

"What are we going to do?"

"You are going to go back to Evan, and I am going to go to the gypsies."

"What about Tori?"

"Tori and I are friends. She knows I'll never love her the way I love you and Wanda. She accepts that. Besides, she has her eye on someone."

"Who?"

"It's a secret that I intend to keep."

"So, are you going to tell her about what happened tonight?"

I tapped her on the nose. "That, too, is a secret I intend to keep."

"Why can't we just be together?"

"Because you want more than I can give."

"And if I'm pregnant?"

"You said you don't think you can get pregnant."

"I don't think I can, but it doesn't mean I can't wish for it."

"You really should go."

"I don't want to."

"Evan is probably wondering where you are."

"What am I supposed to tell him?"

"Tell him you were helping me clean out the refrigerator."

"Seriously?"

"Well, Burns is coming home, and he will be going out on a food run, so it makes sense to clean out the fridge."

"Then why don't we do that?"

"We could do that if you want."

So, we proceeded to get dressed, and we headed to the kitchen. I was sure that some of the couch potatoes took notice of us leaving the bedroom, but nothing was said by them or us. Luckily, Evan wasn't in the house. Once we were in the kitchen, we got right to work throwing away rotted food in containers, and in some cases, we just chucked the whole container. The kitchen table was soon covered with the food we were salvaging, and I was cleaning the lower shelves as Gina cleaned the upper shelves. Considering we were working, we were really having a good time just being with each other. We were laughing and joking at the gross and disgusting things we found forgotten in the back of the refrigerator.

I was sitting on the floor, and Gina was straddled across my back cleaning a shelf when Evan entered the kitchen.

"Gina?"

"In here!" she called out cheerfully.

"What are you doing?"

"I wanted to talk to Nate. Nate said he needed to clean out the fridge because Burns is coming home and he'll be sent out to shop for supplies. I decided to help him."

"That's sweet of you," he said tentatively.

"I'm a sweet girl," Gina answered with confidence.

He seemed nervous. "Well, I'll be at the game room if you decide to join me."

Gina backed away from me sponge in hand. She flitted over to Evan and kissed him briefly on the lips. "I'll be there in a bit, okay?"

"Sure." He turned and walked from the room.

"You handled that pretty nicely."

"He's really been sweet."

We were putting the food back into the refrigerator when I heard the van pull into the driveway. "Burns is back!"

I jammed the mayo and ketchup into the door and ran out of the kitchen. "Burns is back!" I called out to the couch potatoes as I flew out the back door. Burns was exiting the van as I reached the driveway. "I'm so glad you're home. I missed you!"

"Wow, are you out of condoms?" he joked.

I laughed. "No! Down a few maybe, but not out!"

We came together in a manly embrace. We slapped each other on the back. "A lot of shit has happened while you were gone."

"I've only been gone a week."

"Well we've been working on the bunkhouse."

Burns went to the back of the van and pulled out his bag. We entered the house, and the group that was still entranced in the movie turned to greet him. Maria got up off the couch and hugged him.

"Good to have you back. Maybe you can keep this one honest."

I blushed. I knew she was referring to the earlier stint in the bedroom with Gina. Megan was snuggled under her father's arm. She ducked out from under it and gave Burns a hug. Carl called out his getting from the couch as did Max and Miranda. I hoped this group would keep their suspicions about what they may have heard earlier to themselves. Unlike Tori, Gina was very vocal when she liked something.

"Come on. Let's go to the gameroom. I'm sure the others will be happy to see you."

"Hey!" Gina called out as she came from the kitchen. "Did you forget about me?"

"Shit. I'm sorry, sweetheart."

She entered the living room and gave Burns a hug. Burns shot me a look as she hugged him. I shook my head back and forth to let him know that we weren't a couple.

We walked quickly in the cold night air to the gameroom as I explained to Burns that we had been working on the bunkhouse everyday until we literally ran out of supplies and could do no more. The only thing we hadn't completed was the heat since none of us possessed the skills or the knowledge to install heat. He replied that he would pick up some books on heating and air conditioning on his trip into town.

Burns entered the gameroom first and a roar went up from the crowd. "Burns is back!" several people said in unison. Most of them came up to greet him. Gina stepped in before me, and I followed. Gina made a beeline for Evan who was sitting at the poker table with Victoria, Blake, Tom, and Rob. Rachel was playing pool with Hector. I walked over to the pool table. "How's it goin'?"

Rachel answered. "He's almost as good as you. We've played four times, and I beat him only once."

"Well you had better beat him this time if you want to play me. I call winner."

I sauntered over to my sister who was still diligently working on the same puzzle she had been working on for the last week.

"Hmmm, you're almost done. Now that Burns is back, I'll have him get a new one."

She waved me in to come closer. I leaned into her. "Victoria has been watching the door all night."

I smiled. "Has she now?"

"Yes, she has. What have you got going on with her?"

I tapped the tip of her nose. "We are just friends."

She stared into my eyes. "Right and souls are a figment of our imagination."

I stood upright and looked over at the poker table. Burns had slid a chair between Tom and Rob and had joined the game. I walked around the table until I got to Victoria. I placed my hands on her shoulders and began to knead them.

"Gina and I cleaned out the fridge," I announced. "I can't wait to see the look on Maria's face when she sees how empty it is."

"There was some pretty gross stuff in there. Nate, I left the containers soaking in the sink."

"Thanks, angel. I'll get them in the morning when I make breakfast for Xena here."

Tori finally spoke up. "I wish you would stop calling me Xena."

"Okay, I'll just call you legs."

"Can't you just call me Tori?"

I leaned down to her cheek. "Tori." I kissed her on the cheek.

Hector beat Rachel at the pool table. "Next!" Hector yelled.

I played Hector and beat him. Again, it wasn't an easy win. I noticed he was studying my shots. He was learning. My advantage was I was young and my hand/eye coordination was better than his. After I beat him, he decided to take his leave. Rachel came up to play. She flaunted her breasts, but it was more to distract me than to flirt with me. I gave her the attention she was seeking by letting her think that she caused me to miss my shot. I deliberately missed my shot twice, and she seemed pleased with herself.

Near the end of the game, Tori rose from her chair and grabbed her coat off the hook on the wall.

"Whoa, Tori, hold up. I'll be done here in a few minutes, and I'll go with you."

"I'm going to the house first to use the bathroom," she announced.

"That's fine. I need to use the bathroom, too."

She stood near the door holding her coat. I sauntered over to her while Rachel lined up her shot. I put my arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. "You okay? You seem down."

"I'm worried about Danny. He said he wasn't feeling well at dinner. Was he at the house tonight?"

"I didn't see him. We can pick up some 'heal' at the house if you want."

"Does that stuff work on a head cold?"

"I think it works on everything except old age. And a virus. We had a virus hit everyone on the mountain about a year ago. The 'heal' didn't work. Burns went to a healer and asked why it wasn't working. He was told that a virus is dependant on a host just as souls are. The only way to stop the virus is to kill the host. Therefore, it needs to run it's course, but 'no pain' helps to alleviate the symptoms. That's the way he explained it. I personally don't know a lot about science. Literature and government were my strengths."

It was my turn at the table. I sunk two more of my balls leaving only one plus the eight ball. Rachel made a valiant effort, but in the end, I beat her pretty easily. "Thank you, my dear," I crooned as I kissed her on the cheek. I turned to the rest of the crowd. "I'm out. I'll see you in the morning."

Gina looked up at me and replied. "Love you, Nate. Have a good night."

It took me by surprise considering Evan was sitting right next to her.

"Love you, too, angel. Be good."

Tori rolled her eyes at me as I joined her. Once we got out the door, she confronted me. "Did you sleep with her?"

"Who me? No." I said just a little too defensively.

"I can't believe you! Am I not enough for you?"

"Tori, you are not my girlfriend. Don't pull the jealousy card on me."

"Is she that good in bed?"

_Yes!_ That's what I wanted to say."I told you I didn't sleep with her. We cleaned out the refrigerator, and we talked. It was a good talk." _And great sex. _It was the first time I had ever lied to Victoria. It was almost eleven when we reached the house. Only Maria and Megan were left. They were watching an old horror movie. I thought it odd that souls, who were supposedly so peace loving, seemed to buy into the whole horror thing. I hated horror movies. I felt like our lives were a horror movie, why on earth would I want to watch one?

"Maria, do you know where the 'heal' is?"

"Yes, it's in the kitchen."

I followed Maria into the kitchen while Tori used the bathroom. She opened the cabinet where the medical supplies were kept.

"What are you doing, Nathan?"

"I'm getting some 'no pain' and 'heal' for Danny. Tori says he's not feeling well."

"That's not what I'm talking about. You're playing both sides of the fence. You're going to get caught, and all hell is going to break loose."

"No, I'm not. I'm friends with Tori, and Gina and I only talked."

"Next time you and Gina talk, you should put a pillow over her face when she climaxes."

I could feel the heat rise up into my face.

"This is a dangerous game you're playing, Nathan."

"She's going back to Evan. She belongs with him."

"But she lusts after you."

"I lust after her."

"Why don't you just forget about Wanda and commit to Gina?"

"I can't."

"Can't or won't?"

Victoria entered the kitchen. "Did you find the stuff?"

"Yeah, I got it right here. Let's go check on Danny." I kissed Maria on the forehead. "Don't worry about me, mom. I know what I'm doing."

Tori and I walked back to the cave. We found Danny in his bed trying to sleep. He complained of a sore throat and a cough. I gave him a dose of 'no pain' and 'heal', and he felt better instantly. Tori walked me into the dark hallway.

"I'm sorry we didn't get to spend much time together tonight," I tried to sound sincere.

"I am, too," she replied. "I guess I'll see you at breakfast."

"I'll come and get you before I head up to the house."

"Okay."

I leaned toward her in the darkness and gave her a proper kiss. She kissed me without holding back. I walked away feeling like a schmuck.

I woke with a start. _It was only a dream. Jesus!_ I dreamed that Evan found out about me and Gina, and he told Victoria. She went to where the guns were kept, and the two of them tracked me down. She shot me in the leg. I tried to get away. I ran into the woods. They used Gina as bait. They tortured her until she screamed in an effort to flush me out. They made her stand there and watch. Victoria raised the rifle. She pulled the trigger, and I woke up.

It was at that moment that I realized I needed to tell her the truth. I dressed quickly and went to her room. She was still asleep. I sat on the edge of her bed. The movement caused her to stir. She opened her eyes.

"Nate? What time is it?"

"It's early. I need to talk to you. I'll wait for you in my room."

"Now?"

"No, you sleep. I'll wait."

I kissed her forehead and rose to my feet. Back in my room, I was pacing back and forth wondering and worrying how she would take the news of my blatant lie and my infidelity. Only it wasn't cheating because Tori and I weren't a couple.

"It was only ten minutes later when she knocked lightly on my door. I opened it and bade her to come in. I shut the door and walked past her. I couldn't face her.

"What's wrong, Nate?"

"I lied to you," I lamented with my back still to her.

"About?"

I turned to her. "I slept with Gina last night."

"When?"

"At the house, before we cleaned out the refrigerator."

She sucked in her breath and backed up.

I needed to stay strong. "I'm not sorry for sleeping with her. She and I, we have this—attraction."

The pain on Tori's face was killing me.

"I _am_ sorry that I lied to you. I should have told you the truth. You are my closest friend next to Burns, and I don't want to ever lie to you. I'm sorry, Tori."

"I have to go," she croaked. I could see that she was holding back the tears.

"Please don't cry." I reached out to touch her face.

"No!" she slapped my hand away. "You know, maybe you don't need me, but I needed you."

"Tori, I do need you. It's not about you. I just can't say 'no' to her!"

Now she was angry. "So, if you were in a relationship with your beloved Wanda, and Gina came to you all boo-hoo faced and wanted sex—are you saying you would cheat on Wanda with Gina?"

I didn't say anything. I had never made love to Wanda. I didn't know if sex with her would be the way I always imagined it would be in my head, or if Gina would still be the best lover I'd ever had.

"Answer me!"

"I don't know!" It was the most honest answer I could give.

"I hate you," she croaked.

"No. You don't mean that."

She tried to go out the door. I grabbed her and held her tight to me.

"Let go of me, Nate!"

"No. I won't. I care about you, and I don't want to lose you as a friend."

"No, you just don't want to have sex with me."

"I love having sex with you. I just think that you are making more out of it than I am. It's more important for me to be your friend than to be your lover. I can be both, but I don't know if you can."

She broke down and cried.

I stroked her hair. "Gina and I, we try to stay away from each other, but after a certain amount of time, desperation kicks in. The emotions run high, we fight, and it happens. I know I should feel guilty about it, but I don't. I can't explain it. I can't commit, and it's what keeps us apart."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. I'm angry and I'm hurt, but I know you've never promised me anything more than friendship."

"You can feel hurt, but please, don't hate me and don't walk away. The reason I didn't try to sleep with you sooner was because I was afraid this would happen."

"I don't know, Nate."

"Why don't you let me make you breakfast? I haven't finished paying off the bet." I wiped the tears from her cheeks and kissed her forehead. "Please? I'll even carry you piggy back."

She laughed through her tears. "You're so stupid."

"We can take a walk after breakfast if you want."

We reached the edge of the cave and it was raining—hard.

"Tori, why don't you stay here? I'll make breakfast, and I'll bring it back to you."

"You know what? I just want to go back to bed. Don't worry about breakfast. There's always tomorrow."

"Tori, are you gonna be all right?"

She had that sad look on her face again. "I don't know."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No."

She turned and walked away.


	43. Chapter 43

**Tori, thank you for the kinds words. I want you to know that I do not intend to stop writing Nate's Diary anytime soon, but I couldn't keep up the frantic pace that I pushing on myself. I actually managed to edit 80 pages of the book that "no one cares about". I felt good about it because I had been neglecting it for 6 weeks. I also spent a lot of time this weekend searching for a replacement for my beloved 'Casey' although I didn't find what I was looking for. When the right fuzzy baby comes along, I will know it. **

**I also write Plum Crazy here on FanFic, so I've decided that I will write a chapter of ND and then a chapter of PC without putting myself on a specific time schedule. I promise you I will continue to write every day, and I will crank it out as quickly as my brain will allow. Thank you, again….**

**EMERGENCY**

09/25/2002 – I fucked up. I slept with Gina. I don't feel bad for sleeping with her. She needed me and I needed her. I feel bad because I may have destroyed a perfectly good friendship over it. I don't know. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut. I felt like I needed to come clean to Victoria because I didn't want our friendship to be based on a lie. Tori was hurt. I can't blame her. Yesterday, she asked me straight up if I had slept with Gina, and I said that I hadn't. This morning I recanted. I don't know which was more stupid: sleeping with Gina, sleeping with Tori, lying to Tori, or telling the truth after I lied. What irks me the most is Maria called this one. She was right on the money. I hate it when she's right, and she's always right. Sometimes I think she's a damn psychic. I only hope Gina doesn't make the same mistake that I did. I'm not sure exactly where her relationship stands with Evan right now, but I'm pretty sure screwing me wouldn't score her any points.

I guess I could go back to the house and make Tori a nice breakfast and bring it to her as a peace offering. She can't sleep all day, right?

I closed my journal and left it on the bed. The rain had eased up. It was only sprinkling now, but it was cold. I passed a bunch of people on the path headed back from the house.

"Are you coming?" Sarah asked as she passed me.

"Coming to what?"

"We're going to the main cave to play charades!"

"Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"Max and Miranda decided to give us the day off because it's too cold in the gameroom. Come play charades with us!"

"Maybe later. I have something I need to attend to."

The house was empty except for Aunt Sue, Hector, Maria, and Uncle George. They had taken over the TV. The kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it. I didn't want to leave the mess for the ladies in the living room. Maria took little to no time off as it was. I washed the dishes and cleaned the stove and countertops. I rummaged through the kitchen for something to make for breakfast. We were out of eggs. I found a box of BisQuick, and there was plenty of ham left over from last night's dinner. I made a dozen fresh biscuits and sliced up some ham. I heated the ham and made ham biscuits. I gave one each to Maria and her cohorts. The rest, I wrapped individually in tin foil. I grabbed a carton of orange juice and a couple of paper cups and placed everything into the same picnic basket Tori and I had used on our picnic in the woods. The wind was picking up, so I ran quickly back to the cave. I passed the crowd playing charades and headed straight to Tori's room. She wasn't there. _Damn! _I went to my room on the off chance that she might be waiting for my return. She wasn't there either. I left the basket in my room and went back to the main cave. Danny was with the others. I pulled him aside.

"Have you seen your sister?"

"Yeah, she said she was going to talk to Maria."

"I just came from there. She's not in the house. Are you sure she said Maria?"

"Well, she said, 'I'm going to talk to Nate's mother'. I figured that meant Maria."

"She went to my mother's grave," I mumbled to myself.

"Huh?"

"Never mind. I'll be back. I know where she is."

The temperature was dropping. I went to my room and pulled a wool blanket from the shelf in the corner. I donned a knit cap and a pair of gloves before I darted out of the cave and into the woods. The rain was steady again. _Why would she go out in this mess? _I draped the blanket over my shoulders, but continued to run in the direction of my mother's grave.

"Victoria!" I called out hoping she would hear me.

I reached the gravesite, and she wasn't there. "Victoria!"

Suddenly a shot rang out. "Jesus Christ!" I practically crapped my pants. My nightmare was coming true. "Victoria, don't shoot!" I cried out, pleading for my life.

"Nate?" she called from beyond a stand of trees. "What are you doing here?"

"Mostly, I'm trying not to die!" I called back to her.

"Nate, I'm not going to shoot you," she replied as she approached me.

"Well, I know you're pissed off at me."

"I'm not pissed enough to shoot you." I saw her roll her eyes at me.

"I'm thankful for that. It's freezing out here, and you're soaked to the bone. Why don't you come home?"

"You go. I want to get a little more practice in."

"I'll wait."

"Suit yourself," she said coldly.

She marched back to where she was standing before and squeezed off round after round at targets she had hanging from several trees. As the wind blew, the targets swung back and forth. She shot off ten rounds without stopping.

"Son-of-a-bitch! I missed one," she growled.

The rain began to fall harder.

"Come on, Tori. Let's go," I urged.

"I don't want to go," she snapped back.

"I'm ordering you to go before you end up with pneumonia."

"Excuse me? You don't own me!" she shoved me hard in the chest. "You don't deserve to have me as a friend never mind as a lover!" She shoved me again. I stepped back and tripped over a rock. I lost my balance and nearly fell into the wet leaves that blanketed the woods.

"You want to hit me! Go ahead!"

And she did. She socked me in the jaw. It was a good hit. It left me reeling. Then she began to yell. "You might have this crazy ass attraction to Gina, but if you are too much of a dick to make a commitment to her then why the fuck do you keep going back to her? It's not fair to her, and it's not fair to me—and in some weird fucked up way, it's not fair to Wanda! She thinks you are goody two shoes Nate who doesn't have a girlfriend and is always pining over her. You're a player, a male slut! You'll fuck anything that walks. Is that supposed to make me feel special? Huh?" she was right in my face.

I felt like shit. She was right. I was an asshole.

"_Say something_!" she screamed.

I was at a loss for words. "I'm sorry." I turned and began to walk back to the house.

"That's it! Walk away! Coward!" she said taunting me.

"What do you want from me Victoria?"

"I want the guy that made me feel special. What happened to that guy?"

"He had his heart broken because he couldn't measure up to Ian."

"That's bullshit. You are beating yourself up because he got to her first. She has a history with him. One you can't break. That's not your fault. I'm in the same boat with Gina. I don't know what secret the two of you have, but whatever it is, it binds the two of you together. Let her go, Nate. You can be there for her without demanding that she cheat on Evan. Be her friend—without benefits."

"I'm trying."

"Try harder."

The thought of giving up Gina to Evan brought tears to my eyes.

"It's okay, Nate. I'll be there for you. Friends, right?"

She pulled me into her arms. She was cold and wet. "Tori, you're freezing." I took the blanket from my shoulders and wrapped it around her. "Let's get back."

We walked in silence in the pouring rain. She laid a lot on the line. It was a bitter pill for me to swallow, but she was right, just like Maria. I only hoped I would have the strength to heed her demands. We got to the cave, and we each went to our rooms to get dry clothes. We placed them in the basket with the food and headed to the house.

A hot Jacuzzi was in order. I removed the ham biscuits and heated them in the oven while Victoria filled the hot tub. We both stripped off our wet clothes and climbed into the tub.

Although Tori was naked, she still managed to keep a distance between us. I wasn't about to push the issue. I opened the basket and poured us each a cup full of orange juice. I handed her a biscuit. "I made these this morning for you. I hope they still taste good."

"Ham biscuits. I haven't had one of these in years!"

She took a bite as did I.

"Mmmm, this is good!"

I smiled and relaxed in the steamy water. I laid my head back and exhaled deeply. "This is nice."

"Nate?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I hit you."

"That's okay, I deserved it. At least you didn't shoot me."

"You want the truth?"

"I always want the truth. That's why I came clean to you. I didn't feel good about lying."

"Well, the truth is I considered putting a cap in your ass, but then I thought, 'it's such a nice ass.'"

I had my eyes closed, and I allowed only the smallest of smiles to cross my lips.

We sat quietly in the tub. I reached out for her hand and took it in mine. It was a small gesture, but she allowed it and I was happy just to hold her hand.

"When are you going to see the gypsies?" she asked.

"Burns is out right now getting the supplies, so I should be leaving tonight."

"Oh."

Silence blanketed the bathroom for several minutes. Our fingers were still entwined. I caressed her thumb with mine under the water. "Do you want me to satisfy you before I go?" I asked.

She let go of my hand. "Satisfy me?" She asked as she sat up. "You make it sound like I'm your pimp."

"Well, you did call me a male whore."

"Nate, I was angry and I was trying to make a point."

"And you most certainly did that."

"I don't want to fight."

"I don't want to fight, either. My offer was to make love to you."

"Look, I think we should take a breather on the sex thing. You need to be ready for Nadia. We can see where we stand when you get back."

"I hope we stand as friends. Your friendship is very important to me."

"Me, too."

I reached over to hug her, but she pulled away.

"Nate, I don't think that physical contact in this tub will be conducive to friendship right now."

"Don't you trust yourself?"

She shot me a look.

"You don't trust me! I'm wounded." I clutched at my chest for effect.

"I'm warm now. I think I'll get out." She rose from her seat and climbed out of the tub.

"You know, your ass is a whole lot nicer than mine."

"Nate!"

"Well it is. Tell me why you are so damn uncomfortable with your body?"

"Because I look like a boy."

"Not from where I'm sitting. As a matter of fact, it I stand up right now, you will see the effect your beautiful body has on me."

She wrapped herself in a towel and grabbed her clean clothes. "I'll see you later."

"Where are you going?"

"To Wanda's room—to get dressed."

"Tori!" I called out as she darted out the door. I sighed in exasperation. At least, it was still evident that I had an effect on her. I was sitting with a hard on. I considered satisfying myself, but Tori was right; Nadia would be in my arms soon enough. I could wait. I let the tub drain, dried myself, dressed, and brought the leftovers to the kitchen.

It was raining harder now. The same four elders were still perched on the couch watching TV. I plopped next to Maria and placed my arm over my shoulder. She looked at me with a deadpan expression. "I'm not going in the bathroom with you."

"All we did was share the Jacuzzi. I didn't have sex with her."

"I'm sure it wasn't from lack of trying."

"Tori and I are just friends."

"Yeah, you seem to have a lot of female friends."

"I'm a likeable guy."

Uncle George interrupted the conversation. "Would you two keep it down? I'm trying to watch the movie here!"

"Oh, shut up, you old coot!" Maria responded.

We clammed up and watched the movie. It was almost lunch time when Burns returned from his excursion to the supermarket. I helped him unload the van. Burns, Maria, and I separated the groceries into what was staying and what was to be delivered to the gypsies.

I sat with Tori at the dinner table. By now, everyone knew I would be going to the gypsies, Gina included. She was sitting at the same table, but she was at the opposite end. I noticed she was stabbing at her food and pushing it around the plate, but she wasn't really eating much of it.

"Gina, don't you like the chicken?" I asked in an effort to get her to eat.

"It's fine," she snapped.

I got up, walked around to her side of the table, and sat next to her.

"Angel, I'll only be gone a few days. I'll have my phone with me. If you need to talk, you can always call me." I tucked her hair behind her ear. Evan did not look happy, but he kept his mouth shut.

"Will you tell Klaudia that I said hello?"

I smiled genuinely at her. "Of course, I will. I'll tell them all that you wanted to go, but you had other obligations. Now, eat your dinner. It's getting cold." I picked up her fork and speared a piece of chicken. She took the fork from me and placed the fork into her mouth. "That's a good girl." I kissed her forehead.

I moved back to my own seat. As I slid into my chair, I rubbed Tori's back to reassure her. After dinner it was already dark, so I figured I should pack up my clothes and get on the road. Tori and I were on our way to the cave when my phone rang. It was Wanda.

"Hello Beautiful!"

"Nate. I was in a car accident. Brandt is really hurt. I left him in a ditch. The van is totaled. The ambulance is coming for me. You need to get to Brandt. I don't know how long he'll survive!"

My heart started pounding in my chest. "Whoa! Are you okay?"

"I'm bleeding, but I'm not worried about me. You have to get to Brandt. We are just outside of Red Rock!"

I grabbed Tori by the wrist as I turned around to head back to the house. "I'm going to Burns right now. We'll leave immediately. Where are you bleeding from?"

"What? Um…I don't know. My head maybe? And there's a gash in my arm. Um…my knees. Brandt, he's unconscious. I'm scared, Nate!" She started to cry.

By now I was in a dead panic, but I tried to remain calm and rational for her sake. "Okay, I'll stay on the phone with you till the ambulance gets there. What about the other driver?"

Tori got in front of me and mouthed the words. "Car accident?" I nodded my head to her. "Oh my God!"

"He's unconscious too. I think Brandt forgot to turn on the lights, and this guy didn't see him coming down the highway. Oh, Nate, it's all my fault! I made him come with me to get cake and food for Ian's party."

"It's not your fault. It's an accident. Accidents happen, even to souls. Do me a favor and go to the van and turn on the lights, so they won't know you were driving without them."

There was a minute of silence. I could only assume that she was doing as I had told her. "They're coming," she said softly.

"You did good. Brandt is out of sight, and you turned on the lights. Now when they get there, you act as though the other driver was in the wrong. Can you do that for me?"

"Nate, I'm so scared."

"It's okay to be scared. It's a natural reaction. It's expected. Just act like you never saw him coming."

"I didn't!" she cried.

"Then you won't be lying." I paused to keep from breaking down. "I love you, Wanderer. You come back to us."

"If I can." She hung up the phone.

I stopped in mid stride and crouched down. My emotions had taken over, and I let out a wail. Tori got to her knees next to me in the rain soaked leaves. "She'll be all right. She's a survivor."

"She had Brandt with her. He's one of the guys from the caverns. He was driving. They don't use the lights in the desert, but he forgot to turn them on we he hit the highway. They were broadsided. She dragged him to the ditch. There's no way for her to contact the clan. I have to get to him before the souls find him, or they'll scavenge the desert looking for humans."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, I don't want to endanger you. I have no idea what we are going to encounter. The souls could be there waiting for us."

"Then don't go!"

"I have to! Wanda is counting on me."

I got to my feet and moved swiftly to the house where I found Burns relaxing in his room reading a book. I told him the whole story. He rose to his feet, and we were at the truck in minutes. I had only the one change of clothes that I kept stashed in Burns's room. I asked Burns for his phone.

I turned to Tori who had shadowed me the entire time. "Here, take the phone. I'll call you as soon as I know what's going on. If you get a call and the number doesn't display as me, Wanda, or Sunny, don't answer it. Take the battery out of the phone. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she squeaked.

"Let everyone else know what is going on."

"You come back to me, Nate. I know you don't want to hear this, but I love you."

"I love you, too, Xena. I'll be back." I kissed her lips and held the kiss for a few beats, then turned and jumped into the back of the van.

We hadn't gotten a mile when my phone rang. It was Wanda.

"Wanderer, are you all right?"

"Hello, Fire Starter, it's me, the paramedic wanted to talk to you to let you know that I'm all right."

"Okay. Put him on."

"Hello, Fire Starter. I'm a paramedic from the Red Rock Fire Department. I have your sister Shadow Dancer here."

"She said she was in an accident and that she was bleeding. Is she going to be all right?"

"Yes, she appears to be okay. She has mainly superficial wounds to her head and arm. Her knees have suffered some trauma, but I'm sure they will be able to heal that quickly."

"I'm two days away. She said she couldn't drive the van."

"Yes, she will need to be picked up. The van was destroyed. She's lucky to come out of it alive."

The paramedic said my sister wanted to talk to me. A moment later, I heard Wanda's voice again. "The other driver was much worse than me. I feel so bad for him."

I knew she was really talking about Brandt. "We're on our way, right now. You take care of you, okay?"

"Don't pick me up. I need to get back to school. I'll rent a car. It's the only way I'll get there on time. We can worry about getting another van later."

She sounded much calmer now. I didn't know how she was doing it.

"That's good. You're thinking on your feet. That's my girl. Stay strong. I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you, too…Bye."

I informed Burns of our latest conversation through the window that separated us. He agreed that Wanda was amazing to stay in control as well as she did. I settled back to a reclining position although I knew the only sleep I would get would probably be only after sheer exhaustion set in.

"Burns?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not going to be able to sleep. Maybe you should let me drive this leg while it's still dark."

"Sure, I think I'll be able to sleep for a little bit." Burns pulled over, and I jumped into the driver's seat. He sat in the passenger seat, just in case he needed to take the wheel in a hurry. He pushed the seat back a reclining position and folded his arms over his chest. I no sooner got onto the road and my phone rang again. It was Burns's phone.

"Hey, Xena." I said, assuming it was Tori.

"How can you leave and not say good-bye to me?"

"Gina. It was an emergency. I didn't have time…"

She cut me off. "Tori said this could be dangerous. I might never see you again!" I could hear her voice choke up with every word she uttered.

"Angel, I have Burns with me. He's a soul. They would have no reason to question his motives. He'll just say he's her brother."

"What about you? What if they spot you?"

"We'll be very careful. I can always climb into the tool box if we come into contact with the souls."

"When you get back, I am seriously going to kick your ass, Nathan Downey."

I chuckled. "Thank you for making me laugh. I needed that because right now, I am really worried about Wanda and Brandt."

"You take care of you."

"I will. Don't worry about me, angel. I'll be fine."

"I love you."

"I know you do. You know I love you, too." I disconnected.

Burns was still lying semi-reclined in the seat with his eyes closed and his arms folded over his chest. "How many women can you love?"

"I think the magic number is three, maybe four if you count Nadia."

"You're insane, you know that?"

I chuckled. "Well I guess that explains my being a man whore."

"A what?"

"Tori told me today that I was a man whore. Actually, the words were male slut."

"She's definitely got your number."

"Yeah, she's Maria thirty years ago."

Burns sighed and went to sleep. I drove until the sun peaked over the horizon. That was when Burns took over. He stopped at a town, filled the tank, got us breakfast, and I promptly fell asleep. I woke at three in the afternoon. Burns was clearly tired. Normally, I would have offered to pull over and stay at a hotel, but this was a dire emergency, and we couldn't afford to stop. I did my best to keep Burns talking, so he wouldn't fall asleep. The sun went down just before seven, and Burns was only too happy to turn the controls over to me. He was asleep in minutes. We were about four hours away from the caverns. I took the opportunity to call Victoria.

She answered without even saying hello. "Nate? Are you okay?"

"We're fine. We're still on the road. I drove last night, so I slept most of the day."

"It's quiet here without you."

"Gee, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you miss me."

"Nate, you know I miss you."

"Do you miss me enough to regret your decision in the hot tub?"

She was silent on the other end.

"Ahhh, you _do _want me!"

"Just because I want you doesn't mean I'm going to jump your bones. One of us has something called restraint."

"I don't need restraint. I have condoms."

"You are so stupid!"

"I'm not stupid. I told you I have condoms."

"Oh yeah? How many do you have?"

"On me right now?"

"Yeah, on you right now."

"Three."

"Well, you had better have three when you get back. I'm going to check your wallet."

"And if I don't?"

"I'm gonna put a cap in your ass!"

"You know what? I think I need to start hiding the guns in another location."

"So, are you saying you have a piece of ass at the caverns, too?"

"You mean besides Wanda?"

"Yes. I mean besides Wanda."

"It was only a one night stand."

"With who?"

"You don't know her. I suppose I could do her again if she begs me."

Victoria hung up on me. _Shit. _I redialed the number. She let it go to voicemail. I dialed her again.

"_What?"_ she screamed into the phone.

"Tori, I'm playing with you."

"So, you never slept with anyone in the caverns?"

"No. That really happened, but I have no intention on repeating it."

"Why do you mess with me?"

"Tori, you can't control who I sleep with."

She was silent again.

"Tori, don't hang up."

"What do you want me to say, Nate?"

"Say that you love me as a friend, and you hope that everyone at the caverns is safe."

"I'm going to let you go. Call me as soon you know for sure that everything is okay."

I couldn't ask for anything more. It was obvious that Victoria had fallen for me. This was a really bad thing because it meant that once again I was going to hurt another lover.

"I'll call you. Take care of yourself and Danny."

She barely got the word "bye" out and then she disconnected.

It was hard to think about Victoria considering Wanda was so much on my mind. I wondered where she was and what questions were being asked of her. I wondered if Brandt was alive and if he had tried to crawl out of the ditch. If he had been spotted by the souls, they would have seekers searching. I only hope Wanda would have the wits about her to tell them that Brandt had taken her hostage and come up with a plausible reason why she put him in the ditch. I started to feel a little queasy thinking about it. I wanted desperately to call her, but I wasn't sure it was the smart thing to do. No. It would be better to wait for her call.

It was just after ten o'clock when we rolled into the area where Wanda said the accident had occurred. It was dark, so there wasn't much to see. I couldn't see any debris from the accident or skid marks. Burns was awake now. We decided that the best option was for us to go directly to the caverns and let them know of the circumstances. We could get reinforcements for the search as well.

We drove through the desert directly to the overhang at the caverns. There was a strange car already parked under the overhang.

"What should we do?" Burns asked.

"I don't know!" I cried in a panic.

"Go that way!" Burns blurted out.

I drove away from the caverns.

"Go about a mile. You get in the tool chest. I'll drive in. I'll tell them I'm a seeker. If I have to divulge you, I'll tell them I put you in the tool chest for safe keeping."

It sounded like as good of a plan as any. "Fuck! I don't like this."

"Stay calm. Chances are if they did find the caverns, they would get lost in the tunnels, and Ian and Kyle would take them down. They have weapons."

"Yeah, but what if they told other seekers about the caverns?"

"I don't know. Let's just check it out."

I climbed into the back of the truck and into the tool box. I left the tool box open. I wasn't going to close it until necessary.

Burns turned around and headed back toward the caverns. He doubled around and pulled in behind the car. There was no sign of anyone.

"I'm going in. Close up the tool box."

My heart was pounding as I pulled the lid to the toolbox down on top of me. I was lying in what could conceivably be my coffin. I could hear the sound of my own breathing. The sweat beaded on my brow.

Suddenly I head the back of the truck open. I heard talking. I held my breath. The lid opened and Burns was staring down at me.

"It's okay. The car belonged to Wanda. She made it back."

I sat up. "She did? What about Brandt?"

"They didn't get to him in time. Wanda led Ian to the body, and now she's holed up in her own private dungeon."

I climbed out of the truck.

"I want to see her."

Jeb stepped forward. "She's put the blame on herself. When she first came here in Mel's body, we kept her in a small hole in the storage room. She's crawled back in there, and Ian can't seem to coax her out. He's too big to get in there, and she's not cooperating."

"Let me try."

"Follow me. Ian had to deal with Brandt, but he's been sitting outside the hole with her for the last fifteen hours."

I entered the storage room just inside the entrance to the caverns. I had never been in this room before. Ian was sitting on the floor looking extremely exhausted. He raised his head and addressed me.

"What are you doing here? Who called you?" Ian demanded.

"She did. Right after the accident. She begged me to get to Brandt. She told me that she dragged him into the ditch, and that he was hurt badly, and she was afraid he wouldn't survive."

"He didn't make it," Ian said softly. There was pain in his voice.

"I know. I'm sorry. Where is she?"

"In there. She won't come out," Ian replied as he nodded towards the hole.

"Has she slept?"

"Yes, for a little bit."

"Have you?"

"No."

"Mind if I try?"

Ian didn't speak but nodded at me. I remained as calm as I could. I kneeled down by the entrance of the hole in the wall. It really was just a little hole. I'm not sure I could fit in there.

"Hey, Beautiful. It's me, Nate. I came just like you told me to. I'm sorry I was too late. You were really brave. You saved both clans by reacting the way you did. The paramedic told me you would be okay, but I'd like to see for myself. Will you come out here so I can see?"

Ian spoke up. "You talked to the paramedic?"

"Yes. She told him I was her brother, Fire Starter, of all things. He said she was bleeding from the head, a laceration to her arm, and her knees were in bad shape. He wasn't sure if she had broken her kneecaps."

"She didn't tell me any of that. She's barely talked at all," Ian sounded broken.

I stuffed my head into the hole. "Wanderer, I drove two days to see that you are okay. Please, come out here, or I'll have to leave without seeing you."

It was quiet for a few beats, and then Wanda slowly climbed backwards out of the hole.

"That's my girl. Come on," I said, encouraging her.

She cleared the entrance and turned on her knees toward me. She buried her face in my chest. I held her in my arms and stroked her head. I wanted to cry, but I choked back the tears. I continued to pet her curly mane as I spoke.

"That's a good girl. You know you couldn't have saved him. Even if the souls had saved his life, they would have taken him away and placed a Seeker into him, and they would have found us."

"I should have reminded him to turn on the lights," she sobbed.

"Sweetheart, you can't remember everything. You weren't even driving," I remarked.

"You know what the worst thing is?" she croaked.

"What?"

She started to cry again. "I was just grateful it wasn't Ian. He wanted to go and I wouldn't let him. How horrible am I?"

"You're not horrible. You're in love. You know he's right here and he really needs you. You want to go to him?"

She nodded her head.

I passed her gently to Ian, who was sitting on the floor next to me. Ian wrapped himself around her body, and he began to sob.

"I must be as horrible as you because I was just grateful it wasn't you," he blubbered.

I thought it best that I leave them. I got to my feet.

"Don't go, Nate," she pleaded.

"I'll be back," I said as I left the room.

I hightailed it back to Jeb. "Hey, she's out, but Ian is exhausted. He looks like he hasn't slept in days. He's not going to leave her, and I'm not so sure she's ready to leave that room. Can we get a mattress in there, so maybe they can sleep?"

"Ian was on guard duty all night when Wanda returned this morning, so you're right. He hasn't slept in over twenty-four hours. I'll get Kyle to bring the mattress from their room." Jeb replied.

"Good, I'm going to go to the kitchen to get her some food."

I ran into Burns in the kitchen. He was eating a long overdue dinner. I made a plate for Wanda and rushed it back to the storage room. I noticed Kyle coming down the hallway with the mattress.

"Leave it there. I'll get it in a minute."

"How is she?" Kyle asked.

"She's disappointed in herself. She's with Ian now."

"Good. I'll see you in the morning." Kyle backed up and headed down the hallway.

I entered the room carrying the tray of food and placed it on the floor. Ian was lying with his head tilted back against the wall. His eyes were closed. Wanda was still wrapped around Ian with her head resting on his chest.

"Hold on, I brought something else." I ducked out of the room and returned a moment later dragging the mattress. I laid it next to Ian. Ian opened his eyes as I knelt next to him.

"Ian, you need to sleep. Lay on the mattress. I'll take care of her."

"Wanderer?" he questioned.

"It's okay. Nate is right. You're dead on your feet."

"You won't climb back in that hole, will you?"

I answered for her. "I won't let her."

Ian scrambled onto the mattress and lay on his side. Wanda brushed her fingers through his hair, and Ian drifted off to sleep quickly.

She watched Ian as he inhaled and exhaled in the steady rhythm of sleep. I placed my hand on her knee to get her attention. "I brought you some food. Will you eat for me?"

"I really need to go to the bathroom."

I immediately jumped to my feet and reached down to pull her up.

I wrapped my arm around her and she reciprocated. We walked wrapped around each other to the bathroom. There were people congregating on the loveseats in the main cavern, and they stared at us as we passed them. Someone called out, "How's Ian?"

"He's exhausted. He's asleep," I answered.

When we got back to the storage room, I urged Wanda to eat the sandwich on the tray. Wanda finally allowed herself to give in to her hunger. When she was done eating, she nestled into my arms. It was the greatest feeling to have her safe in my arms again. I kissed the top of her head. "Sleep," I said softly. She closed her eyes and she eventually fell asleep. I slid her onto the mattress next to Ian. They were together again. I had a certain satisfaction knowing I had a hand in comforting her. I left the storage room and sleep took me as I lay on the cot in the infirmary.


	44. Chapter 44

**Well some good things happened this weekend. First my daughter got engaged! Hooray Victoria and Peter! Second, we found a new kitten. We get him tomorrow. He weighs two pounds. We are naming him Ozzie. And last but certainly not least, I've sold a few books on Amazon this month. Thank you if you were one of the buyers. I hope you enjoy the book.-NL**

DISCONNECTED

09/27/11 – Unfortunately, I am unable to write this entry in my journal since I left it at the mountain, but this too important not to make an entry. I am sitting at Doc's desk in the caverns writing this on a loose piece of paper. I only hope this makes it back to my journal.

Two days ago, I received a disturbing call from Wanda. She had been in a bad car accident, and she had Brandt, a human with her. He was driving, and he forgot to turn on the lights when he hit the highway. They were broadsided by another car. Wanda kept her wits about her and dragged the unconscious Brandt to the other side of the road and hid him in a ditch. In the meantime, Burns and I immediately set out for the caverns since Wanda was unable to contact them. I was in a panic over Wanda. I had no idea what the extent of her injuries were. I spoke to the paramedic who was tending to her at the site of the accident, and he assured me that her injuries were not life threatening. So the panic shifted to Brandt, and whether he would be found by the souls before I could get to him.

Fortunately, Wanda managed to get through the emergency room where she was healed, kept her wits about her, and rented a car before we got to Red Rock. She didn't fall apart until she got back to the caverns. She led Ian to the place where Brandt's body lay in the ditch. She blamed herself, and it was I who finally pulled her from her self-inflicted, solitary confinement. I hate to admit it, but I felt pretty damn special that she came to me over Ian. Her sadness is breaking my heart. I wasn't particularly close to Brandt, but he was one of Ian's closest friends. Today, they will bury him. I'm just glad to be here for her and grateful that both clans remain safe from the souls.

I folded the paper and shoved it into my pocket. I headed to the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I never had the chance to eat last night except for the few bites of turkey I managed to snack on as I prepared a sandwich for Wanda. It was very quiet in the kitchen. Jeb entered and announced that Brandt was to be laid to rest in thirty minutes and hoped everyone would attend. I had wondered why Kyle didn't push to see Wanda after I had gotten her out of her dungeon. This morning, I found out that Kyle and Jared dug the grave last night when the heat of the sun had waned. I finished my breakfast and used the facilities to wash up. At the entrance of the caverns, people were beginning to gather. Wanda and Ian were not among them. I was told that Ian and Ice moved Wanda and the mattress back to their room. I decided to check on them.

I knocked on the makeshift door of their room.

"Who is it?" I heard Ian call from inside the room.

I slowly opened the door and stepped in. Wanda and Ian were laying in the bed.

"Um…they are gathering outside for the funeral. I thought you would want to know."

Ian got up immediately. "Come on, Wanderer. We have to say good-bye."

"I don't want to say good-bye," Wanda lamented.

"I know, but it's our only chance. Nate and I will be with you."

Wanda crawled out of the bed and walked sluggishly towards Ian. He took her arm in his and approached me. I offered her my arm and she took it. We walked slowly to the entrance of the cavern. Burns was waiting for us with Lily at the entrance, and Kyle and Sunny were waiting just outside. We went as a unified group to the gravesite.

When we arrived, the entire 'family' was present. Aaron was up front. He was trying very hard not to cry, but he was, after all, Brandt's best friend. Jeb spoke first.

"Today, we bury our very dear friend, Brandt, who was taken from us too soon. He was a good man and loyal to the clan. I will miss him greatly and hope he has passed on to a better place." He threw in a handful of dirt.

Aaron stepped up next. He broke down as he spoke. "You were my best friend…"

Wanda's knees buckled, and Ian quickly scooped her into his arms.

I spoke low to Ian. "I'll take her. You say good-bye to your friend."

I took Wanda from Ian and walked back to the entrance of the caverns. She was hysterical. I tried to calm her.

"Shhhh. It wasn't your fault. Nobody blames you."

After a few minutes I placed her on the hood of the rented car that was still parked under the overhang. I sat next to her and took her hand in mine. She leaned into my chest and continued to whimper. About a half hour later, Ian came back. He was wiping away the tears. The others passed by as they entered the cavern. Aaron stopped.

"Don't blame yourself," he said. Then he turned slowly and walked away.

Ian addressed Wanda. "You are going to take a bath with me—today—now. It will help us both to feel better."

"Ian, I don't..."

He put his finger to her lips. "Brandt wouldn't want us to grieve like this. You need to get over this. Do you love me?"

"Yes, but..."

Ian interrupted her. "It's my birthday. I want this."

I nodded my head and smiled. I turned and stepped towards the entrance.

"Nate," she called.

My eyes met hers. "I'll be around." I bowed graciously and then walked inside. I spent the rest of the day in the game room. I hadn't slept well, and there was a couch in the room. I took a long nap, and when I woke, I took a nice bath. I thought about Lacey, not because I wanted her to show up, but because Victoria and I had our last argument over my proclivity to bed women. I thought about Victoria. I needed to call her and let her know what was going on. I would go tonight after the sun went down. A nice run to the garage would probably be therapeutic. I wondered how Gina was doing. She was so angry with me. She was my Achilles' heel. On the one hand, I hoped she and Evan were doing well. On the other hand, I hoped they weren't.

On the Wanda front, it was evident that even though Wanda still had feelings for me, she was all Ian's. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I had come to this conclusion long ago. I just needed to come to grips with it.

I visited with Mel and Jared in the late afternoon. Melanie was definitely pregnant. She looked good, and they seemed very happy.

I saw Wanda again at dinner. She and I sat in the same group, and she was quiet while everyone else chattered about their feelings for Brandt. Several times our eyes met, and I could see the sadness she was suppressing. Ian was very attentive.

After dinner, I ran with Jamie to the garage. He wanted to talk to Megan. I dialed the phone, and Victoria answered on the second ring.

"Nate? Are you all right?"

"Yes. Brandt died, but the souls were none the wiser. It's been very sedate around here."

"And Wanda—how is she?"

"She was healed at the hospital and she was back in the caverns by the time Burns and I arrived. She's depressed, but Ian is handling her well."

"When are you coming home?"

"Soon. Tomorrow Burns is going to return the rental car that Wanda used to get back, and then I think he is going to purchase a new van. We should be returning shortly after that. I need to go to the gypsies."

"Um—about that."

I didn't like the way it sounded. "What?"

"Gina went."

"With who?" I knew Nadia would expect to sleep with Evan if he went. Gina would not allow that.

"She went alone."

"Are you crazy?" I felt my blood pressure rise. "She could get caught! How could Evan let her go?"

"She didn't ask Evan. She left without his knowledge. She left a note on the kitchen table."

"Son-of-a-bitch!"

"What's wrong?" Jamie asked.

I ignored him. "When did she leave?"

"Just a few hours ago."

"Shit. Does she even know where she's going?"

"In her note, she wrote that was pretty sure she knew how to get there."

"Pretty sure? PRETTY SURE?" I bellowed into the phone.

"Nate, calm down!"

"How can I calm down? She doesn't even have a phone. I'm going to be worried to death until she returns—_if_ she returns!"

"There's nothing you can do about it now."

"She did this to spite me."

"She probably did."

"Where's Evan?"

"He wanted to go after her."

"Jesus Christ! Please tell me that he didn't."

"No. When I saw the note, I found the keys to the last vehicle, the one Burns keeps parked on the other side of the house, and I hid them. He can't go anywhere unless he hotwires the car. I doubt he knows how to do that."

"Babe, I love you."

"I wish you meant that."

"I do. I love you as a friend."

"Just come home, all right?"

"I'll call you tomorrow at about the same time. If something goes wrong, and Gina brings the souls to the mountain, you answer and hang up, so I'll know."

"Gina will be careful, I'm sure."

"She was caught once. She could be caught again."

"I was caught, too, and I assure you that I would be pretty damn careful if I was out there again."

"Okay, you've made your point. I'm still going to be in a panic until she returns. Your mission is to keep Evan calm."

"Gee, maybe I'll sleep with him."

"Are you trying to make me jealous?"

"Is it working?"

"I'll call you tomorrow." I hung up. I didn't want to admit to jealousy. It was better that I keep my relationship with Victoria strictly on a friendship level. I handed the phone to Jamie.

"Everything all right?" Jamie asked.

"No. Gina took it upon herself to go to the gypsies. She's only been there once when I drove. I'm not even sure she'll get there. She also has no phone. She's put herself in a very bad position. Don't say anything to Megan. It's best that no one worry."

"Okay." Jamie called Megan and I let him have a half hour with her. It was the routine that Jared enforced after the night he spent three hours on the phone with Wanda sound asleep in the jeep.

When we returned to the caverns, the majority of the clan was watching a movie. I entered and sat next to Burns which just happened to put me next to Lacey. A few minutes into the movie, Lacey leaned back on her elbows. I tapped her on the shoulder and signaled for her to put her head on my chest. I lay sideways, so I could prop up my head under my arm and see the TV. Lacey lay facing straight at the TV with her head resting on my belly. We looked like a giant letter 'T'. I ran my fingers slowly through her hair as we watched the movie. Truthfully, I did it without even thinking. Her hair was wavy and soft much like Gina's. At the end of the movie, Lacey sat up and faced me.

"Nate, do you want to walk me back to my room?"

I knew I could easily sleep with her, but Victoria would never talk to me if I did, and right now she was the only person I could count on. "Lacey, I'm sorry if I led you on, but I'm sort of in a relationship with someone."

"She doesn't have to know," Lacey pointed out.

"You're right, she doesn't. The thing is this person is my best friend, and I won't lie to her. I don't have a commitment with her, but I know she would be terribly hurt, and I've hurt her enough already."

"It's okay. It was nice having someone give me a little attention."

"Thanks for understanding."

I took my leave and headed back to the infirmary. It was the only place where there was an empty bed. Okay, it was a cot, but it's not as if I hadn't slept on a cot before. The problem wasn't the bedding. The problem was the cracks in this room allowed a good amount of light and heat in which meant I was up early. I was hoping to fall asleep early, but I had Gina on my mind. How could she do this? What the hell was she thinking?

Eventually I fell asleep, but I was up pretty early looking for a cool place to fall back to sleep. I was on the way back from the bathing room when I spied the empty loveseat in the main cavern. I curled up and went back to sleep for a few hours. I woke up feeling a whole lot better. I immediately went to the kitchen, since I knew that was the hub of morning activity here at the caverns. I soon as I walked in I saw Wanda, and she was smiling.

"Hello, Beautiful! Good to see you back!"

She held out her arms for me, only I focused on her hand. "I guess I'm back," she said cheerfully.

She was wearing her engagement ring again. I crinkled my brow as I looked at her. "So, I see the wedding is back on."

Ian was behind her, and I saw the plate he was holding slip from his fingers and crash to the floor. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks and turned towards Ian. Ian swallowed his mouthful of food and then spoke slowly and deliberately. "Wanderer, turn around."

She turned slowly toward Ian. His eyes were fixated on her hand. He walked slowly to her and bent low, wrapping his arms around her thighs, and he picked her up off the ground. He looked up at her face. "Yes?"

"Yes," she answered.

He twirled with her still in his arms. Everyone in the kitchen clapped including me. They both looked so happy. How could I deny her that happiness?

I approached the happy couple after Ian put Wanda down. "You really didn't know?" I asked Ian.

"No, you let the cat out of the bag," he replied. Ian turned to Wanda. "When did you switch it?"

"Last night when I went to bed, I thought it might somehow salvage your birthday. You've been so good since I came back and you've been wonderful about Nate. I couldn't possibly love anyone more than you."

Ian grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her right there in front of everyone. Ian's parents entered the room in the middle of the kiss. His mother cleared her throat loudly. Ian slowly brought the kiss to a close. "Mom, the wedding's on!"

She threw her hands up in triumph and did a little dance. "It will be nice to have a daughter."

I was happy for them, but seeing Ian's mother made me wish my mother could have lived to see the day I finally made a choice to settle down. I had a fleeting thought that maybe it was the reason I chose to love someone unattainable like Wanda. My mother would never get to see that moment, but it didn't matter because that moment for me would never come.

I spent the rest of the day hanging out with Jeb. We talked about the buildings on the mountain. Jeb seemed most curious about the manner in which we constructed the buildings. He was a hands on kind of guy, and I often wondered how he handled being cramped up in this limited area. I loved my mountain because we had much more freedom and space to move about. I was already beginning to feel a bit claustrophobic, and the fact that I was worried about Gina didn't help matters.

After dinner, Burns and Sunny left to return the rental car and pick up a new van. Wanda wouldn't go. She refused citing she never wanted to get in that car again. I left when they did, so I could call Tori. They offered to give me a ride to the garage, but I liked getting out into the open.

When I reached the garage, I settled into the jeep and called Tori. Jamie didn't come with me. Jared was keeping a tight leash on him these days. He told Jamie that he could go the next time I went. Jamie was angry and went to his room to sulk. I dialed the number slowly hoping she would answer and not hang up.

"Hello, Nate?"

"Were you expecting someone else?"

"No."

It suddenly occurred to me that if the souls had taken over, Tori would still answer the phone if she already had a soul placed in her. I needed to test her, but how? I made light conversation while I thought about it.

"So how are you?"

"I'm alone."

That's when it occurred to me. The one emotion that a soul would have difficulty showing—Anger.

"Remember the person we talked about last night?—the one night stand?"

"I remember."

"I spent my evening with her. She was pretty grateful."

"You bastard!" she hung up on me.

I smiled. It was my Tori all right. Now I just had to call her back and keep her from hanging up on me. I dialed the phone. It went to voicemail. I dialed her again. It went to voicemail again. I dialed a third time—same thing. I dialed a forth time, and she answered it.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Tori, it was a test! I had to make sure you weren't a soul!"

"What?"

"I didn't sleep with anyone, but I needed to make sure you were really you. I knew the only way was to see if you showed anger."

"God damn it, Nate!"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm just really worried that Gina is going to get caught."

"You ever do that to me again, and I _will_ shoot you."

"That's my girl. So, I guess Gina hasn't returned?"

"No. Evan said he is going to sleep at the house tonight. He's pissed more than worried."

"I'm worried more than pissed, but I am pissed."

"Because of Niko? What is so bad about this Niko guy?"

"Nothing. That's why I'm worried. He's a virgin, I hope—and he's very good looking, but he's young. He's the perfect guy for Gina."

"So, it's not that you don't like him. You really are jealous of him."

I didn't reply.

"Nate, you said you were going to let her go."

"No, I said was trying to give her and Evan a chance. You told me to let her go."

Now, she didn't reply.

"Victoria, it's not that I don't like spending time with you, I do. I just can't close the door on Gina even though I know I should."

"So, she's going to come home from her trip and tell that you she slept with Niko. You are going to get into a big fight with her and then sleep with her, so you can reclaim what, in your opinion, is your property."

"I don't know what's going to happen when she comes back. I'm pretty sure whatever happens, Evan is going to be on the front of the ranting line."

"Are you going to sleep with her?"

"No! I don't know. Victoria, you're asking me to make a commitment to you that I'm not able to make. You know, last night, I could have slept with Lacey. We sat together and watched a movie. She asked me to walk her back to her room. I knew what she meant, and I turned her down. I told her I was in a relationship. I've never done that before."

"Lacey? Her name is Lacey? Are you serious? What kind of hooker name is that?"

It was like she didn't even hear what I said. I was completely frustrated. "Look, I have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I hung up before she could answer. I slipped the phone into my pocket and began to run back to the caverns. I heard the phone ring, but I let it go to voice mail. I wasn't in the mood to argue with my best friend about the status of our relationship. I was beginning to regret ever sleeping with her. It was changing my habits and my life.

I had another night of restless sleep. I was tossing and turning because I was pissed off. I was pissed off at Gina for her stupid stunt, and I was pissed off at Victoria for trying to control my life. Maybe that's why I loved Gina so much. She knew she couldn't control me, and when I went to her, it was because I wanted her. Tori, on the other hand, was hell bent on pulling me into a relationship I didn't want. I thought to myself that I may have to end this thing for good. What sucked was that I really cared for Victoria.

Burns and Sunny were gone. That made Kyle a lone entity. He invited me to join him and Aaron in the game room to work out with them. I figured 'what the hell'. Kyle is a big guy and Aaron can hold his own as well. I was spotting Kyle when he brought up the subject of Lacey.

"So, I saw you and Lacey gettin' chummy at the movies last night."

"She's lonely. She and I talk. I thought she might enjoy having someone give a shit about her."

"You think we don't give a shit about her?"

"When's the last time you had a conversation with her Kyle?"

"I don't know."

I looked over at Aaron who was doing squats. "What about you, Aaron? Have you ever talked to her?"

"No."

"You know she didn't ask to be implanted. When Melanie got her body back, everyone was just thrilled. When Lacey got hers back, no one cared. Oh sure, you let her stay here, but there's not a guy in this place besides Jeb who will give her the time of day. Why is that? She's really a hot little number."

"Because when Lacey was implanted she was a pain in the ass, always demanding shit like she was the queen or something. We thought it was the soul, but when they removed her, Lacey was still as obnoxious as anything," Kyle exclaimed.

"Well she's talkative, I'll admit, and she can be demanding, but she feels like she's all alone. That really sucks when you are surrounded by twenty other people."

"I've seen her talking to Aunt Maggie and sometimes to Heidi."

"Who are your friends, Aaron?"

"Brandt was my friend," he said solemnly.

"I know he was, but now that he's gone, maybe you could let someone else into you life."

"Are you trying to fix me up?"

"No, but if you're interested…"

"What makes you think she'd want to talk to me?"

"I don't know that she does, but she and I hit it off pretty quickly. I think I said "Hello."

Kyle burst out laughing and practically dropped the weight onto his chest. I had to catch it. "Don't make me laugh, man."

"Sorry."

It was the end of the conversation, but the seed was planted. Now all I had to do was water it and see if it would grow.

That evening, I went out to call Victoria, but I had the foresight to take Jamie with me. I let him make the call knowing Victoria would be the one to answer the phone. I instructed Jamie to ask her if Gina had made it back. I wasn't sure after last night if I wanted to argue with her again.

He dialed the number. I stood next to him as he spoke. "No, it's me, Jamie." … "He's with me. He wants to know if Gina came home." Jamie pulled the phone from is ear. "She said something I'm not allowed to say."

"Give me the phone." I took the phone from Jamie. "What is your problem?"

"_You _are my problem."

"I just wanted to know if Gina is home safe."

"No. Your piece of ass is still off somewhere. Did you fuck Lacey?"

"No, I didn't, not that it's any of your business."

She was quiet.

"Look, Jamie wants to talk to Megan. Would you ask her to call back when you find her?"

"Do you hate me that much that you can't even stay on the phone with me while I find her?"

"I don't hate you. I'm angry with you because you insist on pushing our friendship into a relationship. I never should have slept with you," I said coldly.

I heard a click. I looked at Jamie. "She hung up on me."

"What about Megan? You said I could talk to her."

"You can try to call her, but I don't know if she's going to answer."

"You slept with Victoria?"

"Yes, and it's a secret, so I would appreciate it if you would not tell anyone about it, unless you don't want to talk to Megan anymore."

"I won't say anything. I promise."

At that moment the phone rang.

"Hello?"  
>"What's going on? Victoria is crying."<p>

"Megan. This is between me and Tori. Please keep it to yourself."

"But…"

"Do you want to talk to Jamie or not?"

"Of course I do! Put him on."

I handed the phone to Jamie. I let the two of them talk for the next half hour while I paced the garage. _Why? Why was being so obstinate?_ I didn't like the fact that she was crying. I didn't like hurting her. I mean, Jesus, I love Wanda, but I'm not pissed at her for loving Ian. _Fuck!_

At the end of Jamie's allotted time I asked him if I could speak to Megan. He said good-bye to her and handed me the phone.

"Megan?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you please tell Victoria that I don't want to fight?"

"Sure."

"Is she with you right now?"

"No, took off right after she gave me the phone."

"Okay, tell her I'll call tomorrow."

"Okay, I will."

"Good night."

Jamie and I ran back to the cave, and I explained the situation with Victoria, but I left out the part about Gina. I just said that I wanted friendship, and she wanted more. I called Sunny's phone before we left to find out what their status was on the car. Burns told me that they would be returning tomorrow night. I was glad because right now I just wanted to go back to the mountain.

Back at the caverns, Ian managed to track me down to talk about the status of the buildings now that the wedding was officially back on. I explained to him that most of the second building was done with the exception of the plumbing, and that neither building had heat. Then he took the conversation in a different direction.

"You know she still loves you."

"That's what she says, but I think she says it just to be nice."

"If that were the case, then I don't think she would admit it to me."

I was surprised at his remark, but not as surprised as I was at his next remark.

"I told her that I don't want to be witness to anything between the two of you. I still harbor a lot of animosity over your history together. I like you Nate. You've been here for me when I was down, but I need you to know—once she says 'I do', it's hands off. That goes for your lips, too. That's the promise she made to me."

I didn't answer him. I was in too much shock. It sounded to me like he was giving me the chance to try one last time. He couldn't be serious. He turned and walked away.

The following evening, I went back to the garage to call Victoria. Jamie was once again not allowed to come. "Tomorrow," Jared said to him.

I dialed the number and held my breath. I had no idea what to expect when Tori answered the phone, I did know that a pissy attitude would mean she had not been implanted.

"Hi, Nate," the voice on the other end answered. It was Gina.

"Gina?"

"No. My name is Spread Eagle."

"Are you a soul?"

"Yes, and I'm coming to get you Nathan Downey." I heard her burst into laughter.

"Gina?"

"Come on, Nate. 'Spread Eagle'? That's your favorite position."

"Gina, I am going to kick your ass when I get back there."

"Yeah, get in line. Evan is all pissed off, too."

"Did you sleep with Niko?"

"Haha! I slept with someone, but it wasn't Niko."

"Who?"

"Wouldn't you like to know? Let's just say me and Nadia are now friends."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it, Nate. I'm going to let you go. I just wanted you to know that the gypsies got their supplies, I had a nice visit, and I was invited back anytime. Oh yeah, and Nadia said 'hey'." She disconnected.

_Mother fucker! Who the hell did she sleep with?_ I tried to call back, but the phone went directly to voice mail. She must have shut the phone down. _Damn her!_

I went back to the caverns, grabbed a book from Doc's office, and pretended to read. I say pretend because there was no way I could concentrate. I was freaked out that Gina would sleep with one of the married men at the gypsy clan.

She wouldn't sleep with Stanislaw. He's too old. That left Aleksander and Dominik. Aleksander was the one who defended Niko for staring at Nadia in her state of undress. Dominik's wife was pregnant. Maybe she was withholding sex, and he was horny. _Jesus!_ This was driving me insane. Then a new thought hit me. Maybe, it wasn't one of them at all. Maybe it was Roman! He was fourteen…possibly fifteen by now. Lots of kids have sex when they are only fourteen. Gina did. _Fuck! _I slammed the book shut and slouched down on my cot to go to sleep.


	45. Chapter 45

**Sorry Toro, didn't mean to make you wait so long. We got a new baby. He's fuzzy and weighs only 2 lbs. 2 oz and we named him Ozzie. Hope you enjoy the chapter.**

LONGING FOR HOME

10/02/02 – This entry, like the last one, is being written on paper since I am still here at the caverns. Doc told me this morning that Burns and Sunny returned last night after I went to bed. I'm glad that they have returned safely. It means we can soon leave. Tomorrow is Kyle's birthday, and I'm sure Burns would want to stay for the celebration considering Ian's was marred by the death of Brandt.

I called Victoria last night, but I got Gina instead. I can only assume that Victoria is still ticked off at me for saying I never should have slept with her. I need to make amends with her, but I can't do it over the phone.

Gina reveled in the fact that she not only accomplished the mission, but she apparently slept with someone. She won't tell me who. Maybe she's lying just to piss me off. I don't know. I do know I can't wait to get back to the mountain, so I can have a little chat with her. My problem is Victoria is right. Gina and I have a love/hate relationship. We go along pretending we can just be friends, and then something happens to piss one of us off. We have a huge fight, and we make love. I admit I love her and my God!—I do lust after her, but because of my feelings for Wanda, I just can't commit to her. I can't put myself in a position where I won't be there for Wanda if something were to happen between her and Ian, and as much as I know she'll never leave him, I can't stop hoping.

All in all, I can't wait to leave this place. I am starting to go stir crazy.

I neatly folded the paper and added it to the existing page. I headed to the kitchen for breakfast. I spotted Lacey, and she was sitting with of all people, Aaron. I thought I should join them considering Aaron wasn't big on talking.

"Hey, mind if I join you?"

"No, not at all," Lacey replied.

I sat and began to eat. There wasn't much conversation going on. I decided to jump start it.

"So, I hear Ian and Wanda are back on with the wedding thing."

"Yeah, I saw Ian, and he was pretty chipper," Lacey exclaimed.

"Chipper?"

She giggled. "He was singing."

"Singing what?" I pressed in an effort to keep the conversation flowing.

"He was watering the garden, and he was singing 'my baby does the hanky panky.'" She tried to sing it in a deep voice. She was cute.

Aaron laughed.

Lacey turned to him. "What? Can you sing it better?"

"Probably," he answered.

"Come on then; let's here you sing it," I goaded him.

Lacey joined in by nudging him with her shoulder. "Come on! I want to hear it!"

Aaron got all shy and shook his head.

"Aw! Do it for me?" she said in a syrupy voice.

"Yeah, do it for the lady," I reiterated.

"Okay, but you won't laugh?"

"We won't laugh," Lacey assured him. She was a facing him with her hand on his forearm.

"Okay." He put down his plate and took a deep breath. In a wondrous voice, he sang, "My baby does the hanky panky" five times and it was perfectly in tune with the original song.

"Wow! That was awesome." She leaned into him, and it was obvious she was in flirt mode.

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely!" she gushed.

Ian had entered the kitchen while Aaron was singing.

"Are we having a party?" he asked.

I turned to him. "Lacey said she heard you singing it this morning. She tried to copy the song, and Aaron said he could do it better."

"He sang it really well," Ian admitted.

I immediately thought about Gina. She sounded like an angel when she sang. Ian interrupted my thoughts.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure."

I left Lacey and Aaron. It seemed they might actually hit it off, and I was hopeful.

"What do you need?" I asked Ian, as I followed him into the tunnel.

"Well, you know Wanda and I are very happy."

"Are you trying to rub it in my face?"

"No. It's just that I know she's been deliberately avoiding you because she's afraid of what my reaction will be."

This was news to me. I hadn't spent any private time with Wanda, but then again, there wasn't a whole lot of privacy in the caverns unless you went your room.

"Okay, what are you proposing?"

"You know she dances."

"I'm aware that she can dance."

"No, I mean she really dances—like ballet and contemporary. That's what my mom calls it. I'd like you to see her dance."

I was still confused, but I figured I'd go along with it. "All right."

"Meet me at the game room at one o'clock. She and I will be there then. We've been taking dance lessons together."

"Okay, I'll meet you at one."

When I reached the game room, Ian and Wanda were there. She had just asked him where his mother was, and he responded by telling her that she had something she needed to do. Wanda made a face at him and then took command of the situation.

"We need to stretch," she said sternly. So we all stretched. At least she seriously stretched. Ian and I made fun of each other. Ian asked Wanda if she would dance for us. She obliged. Ian and I sat cross-legged at the edge of the room to give Wanda the space she need to dance. She was wearing a simple white leotard with a flowy skirt. She did not wear shoes. As the music began she started to dance. She stretched her leg slowly over her head and let if fall slowly and then did a beautiful pirouette into a split jump. She moved gracefully across the floor and she was truly a vision. I couldn't help but smile.

When she finished, she grabbed a bottle of water and took a big swig. "Okay boys, time to hit the dance floor."

Ian got up first. He took her in his arms. The music began and he was moving smoothly with her across the floor. I was surprised to see that the big lug could actually dance. When the song ended, he whispered something to her.

"Ian!" she whined.

Ian turned to me and nodded. He wanted me to dance with her. I got up and took her into my arms. Ian started the music, and then he left the room.

"Ian!" she called out.

"Leave him. It's difficult for him—to see us together." We glided across the floor. "We talked. He told me about your deal."

"My deal?" She seemed confused.

"Well, not a deal exactly, the agreement. The one until you say 'I do'."

"Nate, I…"

"Just dance." I stared into her beautiful eyes. She looked so vulnerable. She couldn't hold my gaze. She looked down, and I could see the blush on her cheeks.

"It's nice to know that I can still do that to you." I raised her hand above her head and she twirled. I moved her effortlessly around the room. It felt so good to have her in my arms. I wanted to carry her away and spend my life convincing her it was me she should be with. Instead, I enjoyed the dance.

When the song ended, I leaned close to her ear. "I really wanted to kiss you." I kissed her on the cheek.

When I pulled back from her cheek, Ian was standing in the doorway. "I heard the music stop." He was solemn.

I released Wanda and walked towards him. "She's all yours. But you knew that." I left the room, but my heart was still inside with Wanda.

I spent the rest of my day working to help clean the mirrors in the main cavern. It was unique experience. I didn't have to do it. I volunteered. It seemed like everybody in this place was paired up with someone with the exception of me, Jamie, and Jeb. Lacey was my only escape, and now I had hopes that she and Aaron might connect. Violetta was single, but honestly, I wasn't looking for another girlfriend. Lord knows I was deep enough already on that front. Cleaning the mirrors actually made my day go by quickly. After dinner, Jamie and I took the run to the garage. I made the call unsure of whom I was going to get on the other end.

I walked away from Jamie, who was sitting comfortable in the jeep.

"Hello?"

It was Victoria.

"Hey."

"Is there something wrong?"

"You mean other than I miss you?"

"Right."

"I'm sorry, Tori. I was angry and frustrated, and I took it out on you."

"At least I know where I stand and the regrets you have. I won't bother you."

"Victoria, please. I can't fix things over the phone, but know that when I come home, you are the first person I am hoping to see."

"Yeah, right after Gina."

_Here we go. _"Tori, I don't deny that I need to have a talk with Gina about the decision she made to go to the gypsies alone."

"You know, last time I checked, she was an adult—a young adult, but still an adult. You can't keep her here if she doesn't want to stay."

"She doesn't want to stay on the mountain?" My voice stressed, probably a little too stressed.

"I wish you were that worried about me."

"Tori, that's not fair. The day I couldn't find you, I was very worried. I care about all of family. You should know that better than anyone."

"We'll talk about it when you get back—if you ever get back."

"Tomorrow is Kyle's birthday. They are planning a celebration. Burns and I will be leaving tomorrow night. If we drive straight through, we should be there by Friday night."

"Good. Maria's been complaining that she has no fresh bread or vegetables."

"Okay, Jamie's with me. He wants to talk to Megan."

I was dying to know how things were with Evan and Gina, but I knew to ask would only serve to prove her fears correct. I bit my tongue and asked about Maria instead. We continued the light conversation until Megan was located.

"I'll call you tomorrow once we got on the road, okay?"

"Sure."

"Tori?"

"What?"

"Thank you for always being there for me."

I woke early again and moved to the sofa in the main cave. I had a difficult time falling back to sleep because today we would go home. I tossed and turned, but I finally drifted off. I was awakened by Burns and Ice.

"Hey, we're heading for breakfast. Want to come?"

"I need to brush my teeth and wash my face."

"Bathing room is empty. We just came from there."

"I'll meet you in the kitchen."

I ran into Aaron on the way back to the kitchen. We join Burns and Ice. The ladies had made a hearty breakfast in honor of Kyle's birthday. We were waiting for our eggs when Sunny and Wanda entered. Wanda spotted Aaron and immediately looked uncomfortable.

Wanda turned to Sunny. "Maybe we should come back later." She turned back in the direction they had come from.

"Hello, Beautiful!"

She turned around and waved half heartedly. "Hi."

I didn't like having her turn tail and run. I marched right up to her, hugged her, and kissed her on the cheek. As I pull back, I whispered. "You look lovely as always."

I took Wanda by the hand and led her past the others to the food that Heidi and Violetta had prepared. "So, what does our little dancer want for breakfast?"

"Well, if I let you dole it out, I'll be eating for two," she said snidely.

"You're not trying to tell me something, are you?" I joked.

"NO!" she hissed.

"Whoa, it's not like _I_ got you pregnant!" I said defensively.

Sunny heard the exchange. "You're pregnant?" she stammered. The others all turned to stare at her.

"I AM NOT PREGNANT!" Wanda bellowed. She smacked me on the shoulder and continued to yell. "And _YOU_ shouldn't be spreading rumors!"

"You mean like you are going to name your first son Nate Jr?" I was enjoying the game. She was not. She clenched her teeth and screeched as she shoved me as hard as she could in the chest causing me to back up a few steps.

I was still enjoying this little game now that it had become physical. I grabbed her wrists and held them. I snickered as I leaned towards her. "What are you going to do now?" I know it was silly, but I enjoyed touching her even if it was for the purpose of taunting her. I had gotten the best of her, and it was fun.

I expected her to fight me and possibly even pout to get me to let her go. What she did took me by complete surprise. She leaned forward, opened her lips slightly, and kissed me right in front of everyone. She went so far as to push her tongue into my mouth. It only lasted a few seconds, but the kiss was real, and she would not be able to deny it. I was shocked and confused, and by the look on everyone's faces, so were they.

Wanda turned to the others in defiance. "Well, that shut him up." She approached the ladies manning the stove and spoke to Heidi. "Can I get some scrambled eggs and bacon, please?"

As Heidi put the food on the plate, the others came to life. Ice punched me lightly on the shoulder. "Nate, you should have seen the look on your face!"

I looked at Burns. "Why did she do that?"

"Beats me."

I pulled him aside and spoke low. "Ian's gonna go nuts."

"You should talk to her. Find out if she intends to tell him before he finds out from someone else."

"Maybe I should tell him—take the blame."

"You didn't initiate the kiss."

"I don't want him to hurt her."

Wanda was sitting in a cubby with Sunny eating her breakfast. I approached them with my arms up. "Truce."

"Ugh!" Sunny groaned, as she walked away.

I leaned close, so the others wouldn't hear. "He's going to be pissed. You did that in front of witnesses."

"Would it have been better if we were alone?" she asked.

"Would you have kissed me if we were alone?"

"Nope. I would have walked away, but I wasn't losing to you in front of all of _them_."

I was extremely worried for her. "So, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to tell him," she said flatly.

"Don't do it when you're alone," I pleaded.

"I have to. If he's going to hit me, it's better to find out now before we are married."

I looked at her with creased eyebrows. "You did this as a test?"

"No, not on purpose. You started this mess remember?"

"Let me tell him then."

"No."

"Then take Burns with you for protection," I demanded.

"No, Nate. Look, he's playing ball with Kyle. I'm going to help Sunny with the party, and then I'll tell him. If you tell him before I do, I will never talk to you again. And I mean it!"

"But…" I objected.

"No buts!" She was adamant. She stepped forward and threw her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear. "I'll be all right. I need to believe that."

I didn't want to let her go. I held her tight. She pulled away and left me in the kitchen. My heart was filled with fear for her.

I hoped that Sunny would keep her safe. Kyle was the one guy who could control Ian and luckily, Sunny could control Kyle.

The party was to begin at two o'clock in the game room. I tried to stay in the public eye in case something happened, and I needed to be there for Wanda. Everything seemed copasetic. I had been wearing Ice's clothes after the second day I arrived. He had a newer pair of jeans and a plaid button down shirt. It was rather country for my taste, but it was better than a T-shirt. I arrived at the party with Aaron and Lacey. There were about a dozen people in attendance but no sign of Wanda and Ian. Sunny looked a bit worried, but Kyle was enjoying his party. He had a bottle of beer in hand although I noticed that he was nursing it. I figured Sunny had given him the talk about getting drunk. There were sandwiches and assorted finger foods laid out on a table. I took a sandwich and nibbled on it. A few more people arrived, and the volume of the music began to increase. Jamie was playing DJ. Finally, Wanda and Ian arrived.

My eyes fell upon Wanda immediately. Aside from her radiance in a sexy little pink mini skirt and black high heels, I was scanning her body for signs of physical abuse. She seemed happy as a clam.

Ian spotted me watching her and made a beeline for me. I went into defense mode. I figured he was going to berate me for kissing his girl at the very least, and at the very worst, pummel me.

"Hey," Ian said calmly.

"Hey," I answered.

"Wanda told me what happened this morning."

"Yeah." I was still waiting for the explosion.

"She's pretty irresistible, isn't she?"

"That she is," I nodded in agreement.

"Beer?" he asked.

"Sure."

He walked to the far side of the table, grabbed two bottles, and returned to me. He handed me a bottle.

"Thanks."

"It's been a while since I've been to the mountain. I miss it."

"I see how you would. The people here are great, but I'm getting a bit claustrophobic these last few days."

"I want to go back," he blurted out.

"What about Wanda?"

"She said she wants to go back, too. She wants to get away from the bad memories here."

"You know you are both welcome on the mountain."

I took a deep breath. "I want to bring my parents."

"Well, the bunkhouse is nearly complete. Burns had bought supplies for painting and as well as some carpeting. The bad thing is the bathroom isn't complete, and there's no heat. When do you plan to leave?"

"Tomorrow night?"

"We're leaving tonight, and the plan is to drive straight through. I'll see if Burns can get a bed before you arrive."

"You're all right. You know that?"

"I guess I'm not bad for a guy who loves your fiancée."

Ian drew in a deep sigh. "Come on. You can tell her the good news," Ian declared.

Wanda smiled at me as we approached her. She seemed as pleased as I did that Ian didn't break my nose. "Ian says you two want to come back to the mountain, and he wants to bring his parents. What would you say to that?"

She squealed with joy. "His parents would love it on the mountain!" It was easy to see that she wanted to hug me, but she held back.

Ian saw her excitement. "Go ahead, hug him."

She pounced on me, and I hugged her back. Then she pounced on Ian.

She was beaming. "This is going to be great!"

Wanda waved Burns over to tell him of our plans.

"We should all leave together. Maggie and Tom can take my room. I'll take the couch. That way, we don't have to rush to get the bunkhouse ready. What do you think Nate?"

I was thinking that I wanted to leave tonight, but it seemed I was outnumbered. "Sure, we'll leave tomorrow night. I need to run to the garage tonight and call Victoria, so she can let the others know." I sighed deeply. "What about Jamie?"

"There's no room for him this trip. He'll have to wait," Burns declared.

"He's gonna be upset. I'll ask Jared if he can come with me to the garage tonight. At least he'll get to talk to Megan."

That evening, Jamie and I once again made the trek to the garage. He was grumbling and whining about the fact that he couldn't return to the mountain with us.

"I don't see why I can't go. I could lie in the back of the truck."

"I don't think it has so much to do with the space as the fact that Ian is bringing his parents."

"What has that got to do with me?"

"If you go, then they are responsible for you. Ian wants to get back to work, and Wanda will be busy with Ian's parents."

"Why can't you be responsible for me?"

"I don't know. Just deal with it. I'll make sure that Wanda keeps her promise to bring you the next time."

"When will that be?"

We reached the garage, and I pulled out the phone. I didn't want to continue with this never ending plea to go. Victoria picked up on the third ring.

"Hello, Nate."

"Hi, Xena."

"What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something is wrong?"

"Because you always call me Xena when you are trying to kiss my ass. Did you sleep with that Lacey girl?"

"No! We're not coming home tonight."

"Why not?"

"Because now Ian, Wanda, and his parents are coming back to the mountain, and they all decided to leave tomorrow night. I was outnumbered."

"That's just frickin' fantastic."

"I don't know when I'm going to get to spend a little quality time with you."

"I thought you regretted that you ever slept with me."

"I can't turn back the clock."

"You are such a dick."

"Tori, don't hang up. Let me explain." _Click!_

"Fuck!"

Jamie sat up in the jeep. "What? She hung up on you again?"

"Here. Call your girlfriend." I handed him the phone and jumped into the front seat and sulked. "I fucking hate fighting with her!" I bitched to myself.

"Uh, it's me, Jamie. Can I please talk to Megan?"

"Thanks." He hung up and looked at me. "She said she'll have her call me. What did you two fight about this time?"

"She keeps harping on the fact that I said I never should have slept with her."

"Dude, I may be young and inexperienced, but why in the world would you tell her that? Just break it off with her."

"I can't. She's my best friend next to Burns."

"If she's your friend then why did you sleep with her?"

"I don't know. It was a moment of weakness—and now I can't take it back. It has changed the whole relationship."

Jamie shook his head. "I'm only going to sleep with girls I am in love with."

"Are you in love with Megan?"

"Yep."

"If you need any condoms…"

"I know."

The phone rang, ending our little conversation. I sat in the jeep and closed my eyes. If only I could turn back time.

Jamie woke me after about forty five minutes. He was apologetic citing he didn't know what time he started talking to her. I didn't care. Unlike Wanda, I didn't have anyone to answer to. If questioned, I would just say I was the one on the phone for so long.

I once again fell asleep with the hopes that tomorrow would be our last day here.

There was a flurry of activity as everyone brought their packed bags to the entrance of the cave. I made it a point to thank Ice for the use of his clothes. He reminded me that I had done the same for him when he first arrived at the mountain. The time finally came to say good-bye. Lacey and Aaron were both there as was Jamie. I think Jamie was hoping someone would tell him he could go. I was not going to make the offer since I knew that Melanie wanted him at the caverns. Earlier in the day, she had told me that she was hoping to spend some quality time with her little brother before the baby came. That was her reason for wanting him to stay behind. I was going to respect that decision.

I gave Aaron a manly hug and wished him well. I gave Lacey a heart felt hug. I whispered in her ear, "I hope you and Aaron can become good friends."

"I hope it will be more than that."

I smiled at her and kissed her on the cheek.

Ian's parents couldn't run to the garage. Besides, the jeep wouldn't hold Ian, me, Nate, Burns, Maggie, and Tom; so it was decided that Burns, Ian and myself would run to the garage. Ian would drive me and Burns to the wash where the truck and the sedan were parked, and then return to the caverns to pick up Wanda, Tom, and Maggie.

Burns and I took the truck. I drove the first shift since it was dark. I thought about Brandt as we hit the highway and switched on the lights. It was sad to think that a simple thing like forgetting to turn on the lights could result in someone's death. Burns slumped back in the passenger seat and pulled the baseball cap he was wearing over his eyes.

About an hour into the drive, I called Victoria.

"Hello?"

"We're on our way."

"Good for you," she said coldly.

"Tori, I hope we make it there because I would hate to think that if we got caught that your last words to me were filled with animosity."

"Are you trying to lay a guilt trip on me?"

"No. I'm trying to tell you that I love you."

"Don't get caught. Xena would be devastated."

I smiled. She didn't want to say the words, but her meaning was loud and clear. The night wore on. Burns was lightly snoring. I had the radio on low. I was tired, and I knew that I wasn't one who slept well on the road. I made the executive decision to stop at the campground, so I could get a little shut eye. It would also give Ian and company a chance to catch up to us. I called Wanda's phone. Ian picked up before the second ring.

"Yo."

"Hey. How close are you to the campground?"

"I don't know. I hit the highway at eight thirteen according to the clock, and I set the cruise control for three miles over whatever the speed limit is."

"What's the last town you passed?"

"The exit said Forest Glen."

"You're about a half hour behind me. Take the exit for route 33 west. That will take you to the campground. I'll be getting off at that exit in about twenty minutes. Once you get on thirty-three, it's about twenty minutes or so to the campground. You'll see signs leading you to the turn-off."

"So it's going to be another hour before we get to the campground?"

"An hour for me, more like an hour and a half for you."

"I'm going to get off the next exit and let Wanda drive. I can barely keep my eyes open as it is. The car is low on gas. There wasn't a full tank when we got in it."

"Okay, we'll see you at the campground then."

I woke Burns as we pulled into the campground. I was exhausted. The sun was only minutes away from peeking over the horizon. I used the facilities. Then I opened a sleeping back and laid it out in the back of the truck. I grabbed a pillow and I crashed. I don't know how long I was asleep, but when I woke up, I was pleasantly surprised to find my beautiful porcelain doll lying next to me. Even in my sleep I had gravitated towards her and managed to wrap my arm securely around her.

I laughed. "I finally get to sleep with you, and I don't remember it."

Ian rounded the back of the truck and saw us lying together. "Why are you always trying to hit on my girl?"

I played innocent. "Hey, she laid next to _me_!"

She nodded her head in agreement. "At least I kept you warm."

"You sure did." I grinned evilly.

She climbed out of the truck and walked towards the sedan with Ian. "Hey! Come back!" I joked.

I curled up in the back of the truck. Burns closed the back, and we were on our way. I woke a few hours later when Burns stopped for gas and food. When the sun went down, I resumed my spot behind the wheel and brought us home. As we pulled into the driveway, a wave of relief washed over me.

It was late. We entered the house, and only Rachel and Rob were present. They were snuggled up on the couch watching the TV.

"Nate, Burns! Good to see you back!" Rachel sang from the couch.

"Believe me; it is good to be home."

"We have visitors coming right behind us."

"Right. Tori told us that Ian is bringing his parents."

"Do you know where Tori is?"

"She usually hangs out in the gameroom."

Before I could go and track her down, the others arrived. I needed to be the host. I introduced them to Rachel and Rob while Burns retrieved a few personal things from his bedroom. He offered his room to Ian's parents as we had previously discussed. I pulled the shades, so Burns would be given the opportunity to sleep in. Then I said my good night and headed to the gameroom. It was a cold night, and the gameroom was already closed up tight. Everyone had gone to bed.

I entered the cave and went to Tori's room instead of my own. I needed to see her. I needed for her to know that I missed her, and I was sorry for the stupid remark. I didn't grab a light. I walked down the dark hallway toward her room. I entered the room and dropped to the floor. I was unsure of where she was, and I didn't want to step on her.

"Tori?" I said softly.

"Nate? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I wanted to let you know I was back, and that I missed you."

"Nate, go to bed."

"Okay." I started to scoot back towards the doorway, but I went in the wrong direction and ended up against the wall. "Shit!"

"What?"

"I can't find the door."

She turned on the light, and it took a moment for our eyes to adjust. I got to my feet and stepped towards the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Nate." She pulled back her blanket and got to her feet. She stepped toward me and invited me into her arms. I rushed to her and hugged her tightly.

"I don't want you to hate me. The reason I said I wish I hadn't slept with you is because it has changed the dynamic of our relationship. We used to have fun and appreciate the time we spent together. Now, I feel like the jealousy thing is destroying everything. You have so many expectations. As far as the sex itself, that was good. It's not the physical, it's the emotional. I tried to be up front with you from the very beginning."

"I know you have. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just be my friend."

I tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "You really are a sight for sore eyes. I'm going to go to bed now. Can I get a little good night kiss?"

"Nate, my breath is icky. I've been asleep."

"You've only been asleep for what?—an hour? Just a little kiss."

I leaned in and pressed my lips tenderly to hers. Then I did it again and I tasted her lips.

"Thank you."


	46. Chapter 46

**Let me start by wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving….even if I am a few days late. Also, whoever Chad's girlfriend is…thank you so much for the lovely review on Amazon. I thought I knew everyone in Virginia Beach who had purchased the book. I guess I was wrong. I hope you all are still enjoying Nate and his soap opera life…luv ya!**

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

10/06/11- Oh, man, it feels great to wake up in my own bed. I probably could have slept all day, but I knew that I needed to get up for my guests. Burns and I returned home, but we brought Ian, Wanda, and his parents, Maggie and Tom with us. I want to make a good impression on them. I figured I'd take them for a walk this morning and show them the expanse of our living space.

I saw Victoria last night. It was late, and she was already in bed which was probably a good thing because her defenses were low, and I managed to get a kiss out of her. I have to admit that I'm horny. I'm obviously not going to see Nadia for a while. I don't want to fall into old habits with Gina. Gina. I haven't seen her yet. I really need to have a talk with her about her decision to go to the gypsies on her own, and I'd really like to know which of the gypsy men she slept with. I'm sure she didn't tell Evan of her indiscretion. I need to make a promise to myself that I won't fall into old habits; fight with her and then sleep with her. Maybe I _should _sleep with Victoria again. It's not that I don't like the sex with Victoria. It is more than adequate. It's just that Victoria always seems to push the relationship into more than I can deal with. I don't know. She may not want to sleep with me. I don't know. I have a lot to sort out.

I entered the house. Tom and Maggie were sitting on the couch drinking coffee and watching Good Morning America.

"Good morning!" I said cheerfully.

"Good morning," they replied in unison.

"Have you eaten?"

"Yes, I made pancakes for everyone," Maggie exclaimed. "Ian and Wanda showered and now they are getting dressed."

"Great. Let me see if there's any coffee left."

I went into the kitchen. It was obvious that I had missed the breakfast hour. I started a fresh pot of coffee and returned to the living room. "Did you see Burns this morning?"

"Yes. He said he was going to find Maria?—to discuss his trip to town."

"Maria is our chief cook and kitchen manager. She is always working. I have to force her to take a day off." I returned to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. I returned to the living room and got comfortable in the easy chair. "There's fresh coffee if you're interested."

"No, thank you. We're good," Maggie replied.

I sucked down my first cup of joe and was about to refill my cup when Ian and Wanda emerged from the bedroom.

"Good morning!"

"Good morning, Nate!" Wanda said happily.

"Ian, how would you like to go see the children? I'm sure they will be happy to see you."

"Sure. I've missed them," Ian replied.

We all walked together to the new building. I knocked on the door before entering. "Hello, everyone. Mind if we come in for a minute?"

Miranda came to the door. "Nate, you're back. How is everything at the caverns?"

"We can talk later. I brought a surprise for the kids."

I stepped into the classroom, followed by Maggie, Tom, Wanda, and finally Ian.

"Coach!" The kids called out. They all got up from their seats and rushed towards him until he was surrounded. They all started talking at once.

"Can we have practice?" Blake asked.

"I've been practicing my hitting," Danny shouted.

"You should see the dugout!" Megan added.

"Yeah, it's so cool!" Carlos crowed.

I noticed Gina sitting quietly working on something. She looked up briefly and our eyes met. I took the opportunity to approach her while the other kids were bombarding Ian with attention.

"I want to speak with you alone," I said quietly. "I'll meet you in the root cellar at four."

She didn't speak but returned a blank stare.

I leaned closer. "I'm not playing, Gina."

Ian was glowing at the attention he was receiving. Maggie looked like she was about to burst with pride.

"Kids! Kids! Calm down! We'll play some ball _after_ school, so I suggest you get back in your seats and do your work. I'll see you all at the field after lunch."

The next stop was the second building. It turns out Tom had done construction in his younger years during his summers in college. He was familiar with both plumbing and heating. He said digging the septic tank would be the hardest part not realizing that we had already done that. We had the hole; we just needed the septic tank.

I continued the tour to the cave where Tom and Maggie met most of the adults. Maggie seemed to really hit it off with Maria, which didn't surprise me at all.

Victoria came in covered with paint. I took the opportunity to introduce her to Ian's parents. "Sorry about shooting your son, good thing he's strong," Tori said nonchalantly. Maggie seemed shocked by the comment. Ian intervened. "It was just a flesh wound, Mom."

When Aunt Sue and Maria left to go to the kitchen to prepare lunch, I decided to take our guests for a little walk in the woods. It was the same route Wanda and I had traveled several times when we were alone. Ian and Wanda split off at one point and traveled in another direction. I could only speculate that Wanda was feeling uneasy since it was our walks in these woods that began our brief, but in my eyes, meaningful romance. I wasn't worried since they both knew these woods reasonably well. I continued my leisurely walk with Maggie and Tom. We passed my mother's grave, and Maggie saw the stone with the flowers that Victoria had painted.

"Is that someone's grave?" she asked.

"Yes. It's my mother's. She passed away five years ago of pneumonia before we had the good fortune of becoming friends with Burns." I often wished I had fallen into that hole sooner. Maybe then my mother wouldn't have died. It was Burns who pointed out years ago that if I had fallen in the hole any time except for that precise time, there was a good chance I never would have been found and I, too, would have perished. Ian's parents expressed there condolences. I informed them that Maria was my stand-in mother. I told them she wasn't afraid of anyone, including Ian. Maggie asked what I meant by that. I told her Ian once let his jealousy get the better of him, and he put a hurtin' on me. Maggie apologized and said she'd hope he didn't hurt me too badly. I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. I just told her that I learned I shouldn't piss off Ian, and in the event that I do, I should let Maria fight my battles for me.

We got back to the house just before lunch. Everyone used the facilities and we helped carry the sandwiches to the picnic tables by the cave. We had opted to eat outside since it was a nice day for October. Those of us who called the mountain home knew what it was like to go through hard winters, so we cherished every warm day we were given.

Ian and Wanda showed up shortly after we sat down to eat. "Have you seen Victoria?" Ian asked.

"No, why would I?" I answered probably a little too defensively.

Wanda jumped in to clarify. "Ian saw the dugout. He wanted to thank her."

"Oh—did you check the root cellar?"

"Yeah, she wasn't there."

"I could check her room if you want. I'm sure she'll show up for practice. She always watches Danny play."

Without another word, I picked up my sandwich and my soda and left them in search of Victoria. I grabbed the lantern at the edge of the long, dark hall that lead to Victoria's room. I was hoping she'd be there, but she wasn't. I started to worry. She wasn't in the woods. We hadn't seen her during our walk. I knew she wasn't at the baseball field since Ian and Wanda had just come from there. They said she wasn't in the root cellar. She wasn't in the house. The 'fun house' was being used as a schoolhouse all morning. The last time I had seen her was this morning, here at the cave, when she came in covered with paint. _Where the hell could she be?_ I decided to go to my room and change into a lighter shirt and to think.

I opened my door to find Victoria in my room, lounging on my bed, reading.

"Victoria! There you are! You had me worried."

"Sorry, I came in here to find a book that Kim had recommended. I sat down to read a bit of it, and I couldn't put it down."

"I'm just relieved that you're okay."

"What could possibly happen to me? This is the safest place I've lived since the takeover."

"I don't know. I don't like to speculate. My imagination scares me."

"Then you shouldn't read this book. It plays on your imagination."

"Are you hungry? I could get you a sandwich."

"No, thanks. I made myself a sandwich this morning after I washed the paint off."

"Mind if I sit here and eat?"

"It's your room," she answered flatly.

"True, but it's occupied."

"Just sit your ass down and eat," she ordered.

"I love it when you're sassy," I said with a grin.

"You're so stupid!"

She went back to her reading, and I proceeded to eat my lunch. When I finished I lay back on the bed next to her, and I caressed her tight belly. "Are you sure you didn't come in here because you missed me?"

"I will admit I missed you, but I'm still pissed off at you."

I continued to caress her midriff. "Do you want me to stop?"

"You're not going to get any sex out of me if that's what you are thinking."

"Are you saying that I can't seduce you? You know that's my specialty."

"You couldn't seduce Wanda," she said dryly.

"She's in love. You're not in love—are you?"

"No. No one on this mountain deserves my love."

I flipped to my side and kissed her gently just above her navel. "Good, that means I am up for the challenge, literally." I pulled her shirt up exposing more of her abdomen and continued to kiss her skin.

"Stop it, Nate," she protested.

"What? You don't like me touching you?"

"That's not why I came in here."

"Why, exactly, did you come in here?—and don't tell me it was to read a book."

"I came in here to talk to you."

"Victoria, you could have talked to me anywhere."

"What's going on with Gina?"

"Nothing is going on with Gina. I haven't even talked to her yet."

"So, what? Are you planning on fucking me and then going to her, so you can diddle her, too?"

I sat up to confront her. "Maybe, my plan is to 'fuck' you, as you so elegantly put it, so that I won't want to 'diddle' Gina."

"That is such bullshit. You just want to prove to yourself that you can still have us both if you wanted. This is all about your ego."

I stood up. "You know what? You're right. Watching Ian and Wanda and their happy little lovefest is wearing on me. I could have screwed Lacey at the caverns, but I set her up with the guy who lost his best friend. I figured I had a beautiful lady at the mountain who I cared enough about to save myself for."

"Gina?"

"No, stupid! _You!_"

"_Don't call me stupid!_"

"You call me stupid all the time!"

"Because I can't call you ugly!"

I smiled for the first time since the argument began. "You're not ugly—and you're not stupid. If anything, you're too good for me."

"That's the first smart thing you've said."

I sat on the edge of the bed and brushed her hair behind her ear. "Your hair is getting long."

"I was thinking of getting it cut again, but I was afraid it makes me look like a boy."

"You could be shaved bald and you still wouldn't look like a boy. You have very feminine features."

"And a very masculine chest."

I laughed. "You make it sound like you've got hair on your chest. I'm the one with the hair on my chest."

"You have just enough to make you look sexy without making you beast-like."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Do you want me to stroke your ego?"

"No, but I've got something right here you can stroke."

"You're so stupid!"

"Ahhh! You see?"

"Shut up."

"So…" I ran the back side of my fingers across her cheek. "Are we going to do this thing?"

"No."

I leaned in and closed my mouth over hers several times. "No?"

"Maybe."

I pressed my lips to hers again, and she responded.

It was a very productive hour. Afterwards, we lay in each other's arms.

"Victoria, I'm sorry I pissed you off when I was gone."

"I'm sorry you pissed me off, too."

I kissed her cheek, and we promptly took a nap. It was nice when I woke up to the naked Victoria snuggled into my chest. I thought to myself that I could absolutely remain strong and refrain from sleeping with Gina provided I could continue like this with Victoria. My fear was that Victoria would once again push the relationship issue. I ran my fingertips along the length of her slender body to her hip and back up to her breast. Her nipple on the exposed breast was hard. I played with it.

She opened her eyes. "I'm not going to do it again."

"Awww, and I was looking forward to round two."

"You're oversexed. You know that?"

"Is that bad?" I asked as I pushed my hand between her legs.

"What would you do if you ran out of condoms?"

"Get more." I said as I rolled her onto her back and kissed her neck.

After the second time I seduced her, she decided to get dressed.

"What's the matter?" I teased her. "Afraid I might jump on you again?"

"More like terrified."

"Well, I have a meeting set with Gina at four o'clock, and I'd like to be completely satisfied before I see her."

She shot me a look a look. "Are you saying you're not satisfied?"

"Well—almost," I joked.

"If you sleep with her, I swear to God that I _will_ shoot you." She grabbed my dick. "Even the souls can't reattach what's been destroyed by buckshot."

"Okay, okay. I'll be good," I replied nervously.

"Give me my book. I'm going to check on Danny."

"They had baseball practice, but that's probably over by now."

"Great, I missed practice," she grumbled as she headed to the door.

"Hey!" I called out to her.

"What?"

"Don't I get a kiss?"

"Hell, no! You'll have me right back in that bed with you. You can get that kiss after you've met with your sex slave, and you've come out of it with only my smell on you."

"Xena?"

"What now?"

"It's nice to know that it wouldn't take much to get you back in my bed."

She rolled her eyes and retreated. I breathed in a deep sigh. _Life is good._

I arrived at the root cellar at ten minutes to four. I took one of the cots and placed it against the wall. I sat on the cot and got comfortable as I thought about how to approach Gina. I didn't want to yell. That would start a fight and that would inevitably lead to tears and then sex.

Gina showed up at five after four. She came in quietly.

"You're late," I said sternly.

"Um, Evan is with me. He's outside."

"Gina, this is a private conversation."

"I know. He's just afraid that…"

I opened the door and confronted Evan. "I'm not going to screw your girlfriend. This meeting is about taking matters into her own hands."

"Then why can't I be there?"

"Because the last time I checked, I was still the leader of this clan, and I wouldn't subject anyone to an audience when I am disciplining another. She can tell you whatever she wishes."

"Fine I'll wait in the house, but if you're not out in fifteen minutes, I'm coming back."

"Whatever…" I turned my back on him and marched back into the root cellar, closing the door behind me.

"Jerk," I mumbled to myself.

"That's my boyfriend you're talking about."

"Right—and you love him so much that you took off to cheat on him."

"I didn't cheat on him. I performed a service, just like you do."

"I'm not attached to anyone."

"Aren't you?"

"Victoria and I are just friends."

She let out a small chuckle. "I wasn't talking about Victoria."

"You know what? This isn't about me. This is about you taking a huge risk by driving off to parts unknown."

"You do it every month."

"_I know where I'm going!_" I shrieked.

"I knew where I was going—sort of!"

"What if you had taken a wrong turn? You could have gotten lost. You could have been caught."

"I'm not as stupid as you think I am."

"I don't think you are stupid! Do you have any idea what it would do to me if you got caught?"

"I thought this was about the safety of the family."

She had me. I was putting my own anxiety over the possibility of losing her over that of the family. I needed to get a grip and deal with the matter at hand.

I raked my fingers through my hair and spoke slowly and deliberately. "This _is _about the family. If you had gotten caught and the souls had implanted you, we would all be in danger. Having said that; I want you to know that you mean so very much to me. While you were gone, I was afraid for my people on the mountain, but—I was terrified for you."

"So, this isn't about who I slept with?"

"It shouldn't be, but I'm jealous as hell that one of those gypsies has touched you, especially since each of the men has a wife."

"It wasn't one of the men."

"But you said it wasn't Niko."

"It wasn't."

"_You slept with Roman?_" I bellowed.

"Shhh! Someone might hear you."

"How could you? He's just a child!" I said between clenched teeth.

"It wasn't him, either."

I was totally confused. Had she lied? "So you didn't sleep with anyone?"

"I did. I slept with Nadia."

I was still not getting it. "So, you slept in her room on her bed?"

"Yes, and the second night—things happened."

"What do you mean 'things happened'?"

"She reached over and caressed my breasts and told me I had a beautiful body. Before I knew it, we were kissing."

"You had sex with Nadia?"

"We serviced each other."

"Are you gay?"

"No! You said it yourself. Nadia is a very sexual creature. She needed you, but you weren't there. I was. It wasn't horrible."

"Why? Why do you prostitute yourself out?"

"Look, I'm a whore, okay? I've always been expected to service whatever man demanded me. Why shouldn't I be there for a woman?"

"Gina, I don't know what to say."

"Just don't say anything to Evan, and next time, maybe you should go."

I walked over and pulled her into my arms. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I told you. It wasn't so bad. She was gentle, like you."

"Is Evan rough with you?"

"Sometimes, when he's had a few beers in him. That's why I tend to hang back when he's been drinking. He's usually asleep by the time I go to bed."

"Does he hurt you?"

"No, not really. He just has a tendency to hold me down when he's drunk and it makes me—nervous."

Suddenly, there was a pounding on the door.

"Times up!" Evan called from the other side.

I swung open the door. "I want to talk to you," I growled.

"About what?"

"I don't want you touching her when you've been drinking."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Gina says you frighten her when you've been drinking."

"My drinking is none of your business and neither is the relationship between me and my girlfriend."

"Well, I'm making it my business."

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"I'll have you placed in the root cellar until you sleep it off."

"Are you saying you're going to arrest me?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."

Evan got right in my face. "Right and who gets to arrest you when you're drunk?" He pushed me backwards.

I stood my ground. If it was a fight he wanted, he'd get it. "I don't drink to get drunk."

Gina interrupted us by getting between us. "Guys, you are both blowing this way out of proportion."

Evan turned to Gina. "Why would you tell him that I hurt you?"

"I didn't. I just said that when you're drunk you have a tendency to hold me down. I don't really like that. It scares me."

"Then say something to _me!_ Don't run to him!"

"I'm sorry. He asked me if you ever hurt me and…"

"Your life is none of his business," Evan said coldly.

"I'm sorry, but I disagree. If someone on my mountain is being abused in any way, I have a right to know. This is a safe haven for all of us."

"Gina, if you don't trust me, then I don't belong with you."

"Evan, what are you saying?"

"If I'm so dangerous, then I shouldn't be with you—or anyone for that matter."

He turned and walked out of the root cellar. Gina turned to me. "Now see what you did?"

"I was just trying to protect you."

"Did I ask for your protection? Did I? Nathan, lord knows I love you. I always will, but I need some happiness. You are never going to give up your pipe dream of loving Wanda. Evan's all I got." Gina turned and left me in the root cellar. Once again, I had let my obvious love for Gina get in the way. I hadn't made love to her, but I sabotaged her relationship with Evan. I sat back on the cot and stared at the painting Victoria had created. The mountains and the people she had depicted seemed so simple. My life was so damn complicated. Victoria was right. This mountain was so safe that I had allowed my life to become this never ending soap opera. I hadn't felt the fear of being caught in a long time. The accident and the possibility of Brandt being discovered was the first glimpse of those possibilities. The fear of Gina getting caught was really fueled by the accident.

The door opened and Victoria entered carrying her laundry. She saw me sulking on the cot.

"I saw Evan and he looked pissed. Then I passed Gina. She was in tears. Did you sleep with her?"

"No."

"Are you lying to me?"

"No. But you're right. I'm stupid."

"What did you do?"

"I tried to deliberately break them up."

"Why?"

"Technically, it was because I was afraid he might harm her, but in reality it was my stupid jealousy getting in the way."

"Did you hit on her?"

"No, it was more like I was a ranting parent—and like a child pissed off at her father, Gina basically made me feel like an overbearing ogre. She told me she deserved happiness and took off."

Tori turned and began placing her clothes in the washing machine. She was silent.

"Tori?"

She remained with her back to me and watched the washing machine fill with water.

"Tori, I didn't sleep with her. I didn't even want to sleep with her. I just didn't want her to be with him if he's abusing her."

She turned to me. "Why don't you worry about Rachel or your sister Kim or even Wanda for that matter?"

"I do worry about Wanda. I've seen the fury that Ian can unleash firsthand."

"But why Gina?"

I wanted so badly to blurt out the horrible things that had happened to her, but I was afraid she'd think that Gina was lying. I knew better. I had seen it in her eyes. Besides, Gina told me in confidence, and I would never break that trust.

"I just worry for her. I would worry for you, too. Right now, the only man in your life is me, so there's nothing to worry about, because I would never physically hurt you."

"There's not just physical pain."

"I don't try to cause you emotional pain. You and I have become such good friends. I'm glad that we've taken it to the next level. After spending the time in the caverns, it felt really good spending time with you today."

"It was good, wasn't it?"

"I assure you that I enjoyed it as much as you did."

She was leaning against the washer and clinging to it with her fingertips.

"Come here," I summoned.

She pushed away from the machine and sauntered over slowly.

"Sit with me."

Victoria sat next to me on the cot. "Can I put my head in your lap?"

I chuckled. "Of course."

She lay on her side and placed her head in my lap. I leaned back against the wall and stroked her head while the clothes were being laundered. It was quiet and peaceful.

Suddenly, the door swung open. Evan rushed in dragging Gina with him.

"Marry us."

I was blindsided by his request. "What?"

"You're the leader of this clan. I want you to marry us."

Victoria sat up. "Don't be ridiculous!" Victoria said dryly.

"Why is it ridiculous?" Evan asked.

"Gina has been here for just a couple of months. She still wrestles with her feelings for Nate. Do you honestly think that marrying each other is an answer? All you are going to do is create more of a reason to fight. Two people should marry each other because they have love and trust in each other. I don't see that with you two. Your relationship is still fresh. It needs to be nurtured. It needs to grow."

I was blown away that Victoria spoke these words. I would have thought she'd be thrilled to get Gina out of the way of her relationship with me. I turned my attention to Gina.

"Gina, are you ready for marriage?"

"I don't want to lose Evan," she answered timidly.

"I'm sorry. I won't marry you. I don't see two people desperately in love. I see someone making a demand because he's afraid."

Victoria took my hand in hers. "I agree."

"Victoria and I are in a better place than you are." I kissed her forehead.

Tori snuggled into my arm.

"Listen, you show me two people devoted to each other, and I'll be happy to marry you, but that time is not now."

Gina turned to Evan. "Maybe he's right. Let's work on our relationship as a couple first."

"Don't you want to marry me?"

"I do, but I want to make sure it's right. We need more time." Gina brushed the hair behind Evan's ear. "Please?"

"Fine. You love me, right?"

"Of course, I do." She leaned in and kissed him. My stomach turned at the sight. I squeezed Tori's hand.

As the couple left the root cellar, Gina turned and mouthed the words, "thank you."

I took a deep breath as the door shut. The wash cycle ended. Tori sprang from the cot and began to place the clothes into the dryer.

"I owe you."

"Yeah, you do, and one day I'm going to collect."

Tori and I spent the rest of the day and evening together. I helped her finish her laundry. We sat at the same table for dinner. We hung out in the 'fun house' together playing pool. At the end of the evening, we walked up to the house to use the bathroom before we turned in. Ian and Wanda were there. They had spent the night cuddling on the couch watching old movies. Ian spoke to Victoria about her paintings while I used the bathroom.

"All yours, Tori," I said when I returned to the living room.

Ian turned to address me. "Are you joining us in the morning?"

"I'll be there. If you're late, _I'm_ coming to wake you." I smiled directly at Wanda.

"He'll be on time," Wanda assured me.

Tori came out of the bathroom, and we left together to go back to the cave. I walked her to her room. Danny was there waiting for her.

"You're not going to sleep here, are you?"

"No, Danny. He's not going to sleep here. I'm just going to say good night to him," Victoria explained.

"Are you two dating?"

I answered before Victoria had the chance. "Sort of. What's most important is that we are friends, and we are not ready to tell anyone about this. Do you understand?"

"Sure. You're going to make out in the dark where no one can see you because you are still in love with that soul."

I shot a look at Victoria. She shrugged her shoulders. I had originally planned to give her a proper good night kiss, but now I was a bit perturbed that Tori had told her brother about our personal business. I kissed her gently on the lips. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night, Nate."


	47. Chapter 47

**So, I've had a hard time writing. Not for lack of ideas. It's because of an adorable three pound terror..er, I mean TREASURE named Ozzie. He is so damned adorable. Kittens are great.**

CONFUSED

10/07/2002 – I've been back one whole day and already, things began to spin out of control. I had my little talk with Gina, and it turns out my fear that she had slept with one of the gypsy men was laid to rest. The person she slept with was Nadia. I'm not sure how to feel about that. I don't feel jealous. More like pissed off that I couldn't be there, too. Hell, a three way with those two girls would be like the ultimate birthday gift. At the time of the conversation, I didn't really have the chance to fantasize about it, but as I lay in my bed last night, my mind went crazy.

Any other time, I would be thrilled to have a visual in my head, but I had already had sex twice with Tori, and I've been trying to keep my sexual appetite in her ballpark. Tori easily could have supported Evan's request that he and Gina get married. Instead, she shot them down as only Tori could, with sound reason and logic. I don't know what I would have done had I been goaded into performing that marriage ceremony. Honestly, right now with Wanda so extremely happy with Ian, I almost want to ask Gina to marry me, so I won't feel like such a loser. The crazy thing is Gina and I are actually perfect for each other.

Victoria gave me a hard time, and yet she was in my room waiting for me. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear she was playing a major head game with me. I am not thrilled about the fact that she has confided in her brother with her relationship woes. I understand that he is her only family, but he is just a kid. How can she expect him not to tell someone? I really don't want my status with Victoria to get back to the others, especially Wanda.

I was eager to get to the house. I really hoped that Ian would still be asleep, and maybe I'd get a glimpse of the lovely Wanda in less than full dress. Petty as it seemed, I was still a bit annoyed that Burns had seen Wanda in the nude. I asked him what thoughts went through his mind when he saw her, and he merely said that he was embarrassed—definitely not what I was hoping to hear.

Ian was up and waiting in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in hand when I arrived. He smiled wide and handed me a cup. "Sorry, man. You're already obsessed with her, the last thing I want is for you to see her naked."

"Hey, if I was my competition, I'd be nervous, too," I joked.

"Seriously, I want to thank you for continuing on the buildings after I left. I was really surprised at how much was completed in my absence."

"Hey, those buildings are important to the family as well. I have a lot of reasons to finish them. I have people sleeping in the deepest part of the cave where the temperature is below sixty degrees."

"Well, I guess we should get to work."

With that Ian, Burns, and I left for the building. A half hour later, Evan and Ian's dad arrived. Wanda arrived a short time later with a fresh pot of coffee. She informed me that she was going into town to buy coats. She felt that many of the family on the mountain didn't have the outerwear needed for the upcoming cold. We had her take the sedan since it was obvious that Burns would also be heading to town to get supplies for the building. I made sure that Holy, Gina, Victoria, and Danny where on the list of people who needed the coats since none of them had spent a winter with us on the mountain.

About an hour later my phone rang. I knew it was Wanda checking in.

"Well hello, Beautiful!"

"Hi, Nate."

"You know you didn't kiss _me_ good bye," I joked.

"I don't think my fiancé would have appreciated it."

"Yeah, but you've got him under control now."

"Nate, you are not even funny. Let me talk to Ian."

Ian practically ripped the phone from my hand. "Can I punch out Nate?" … "I've been thinking. You have _too_ much control." … "Don't worry, I won't. I love you way too much." … "Okay, be safe, my love."

It was shortly after that, Burns left for town. He took the truck and he had a laundry list of supplies to get, as well as books on plumbing and heating. He was also hoping to buy a septic tank. I wasn't sure how he was going to get it home. He was afraid he'd have to either purchase or rent a trailer and tow it with the truck. I thought rent was a funny word since the souls didn't use money. Wouldn't it have been easier to just say borrow?

Ian and I brought Tom to the house in the woods that we were building for Wanda. He was impressed with the stone fireplaces we had built for the bedroom and the living room. There was so much work to be done on the house. A slab foundation and a couple of fireplaces wasn't much to present to Wanda as a wedding gift. I promised Ian that I would do everything in my power to help him get back on track with the house. I thought to myself if I could get on board with this marriage, maybe I could move on emotionally and give someone my love openly. In my head, I was thinking Victoria, but in my heart, I was hoping I could give Gina what she wanted so desperately from me. As it was, there was the chance that she could be pregnant right now with my baby. She never did tell me if she had gotten her period. I needed to ask her.

Our work day was cut short due to lack of work. I asked Uncle George if he was up for a game of Chess. He jumped at the chance. I was sitting in the kitchen with George when Gina came in and sat at the table.

"Do you mind if I do my homework?" she asked.

"Not at all."

She sat quietly working on an essay for history. About a half hour passed before she spoke. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Was high school like this cool, wonderful experience for you?"

"Well, yeah. I was a smart kid, and I had a lot of friends. My mother was pretty easy going. She didn't force a lot of bullshit rules on me. As long as I told her where I was going and who I was going to be with, she trusted me. Her only rule was that I had to be in bed by eleven thirty on a school night."

"Did you lose your virginity in high school?"

"Yeah, I was a junior. I had a thing for this girl. One night I went to a party, and she was there. I remember I had a few beers in me, so I had the courage to ask her out. I didn't know that she liked me, too."

"So, when you lost your virginity, it was a good experience?"

I knew that the night Gina lost her virginity, it was due to rape. I couldn't really say anything about it with Uncle George sitting there.

"Yeah, it was good."

"Ha!" Uncle George bellowed. "I took your knight."

"Crap! I wasn't paying attention!" I lamented.

"Keep talking, girlie. You're throwing him off his game."

"Sorry, Nate."

I smiled at her. "It's all right. It's just a game. Besides, it's not very often Uncle George gets to beat me."

"It's chilly in here. Would you guys like some hot cocoa?"

"Sure. That would be nice."

Gina made us each a cup of cocoa. She went back to her essay, and I deliberately made a couple of bad moves and let Uncle George beat me. Satisfied with his victory, he put his empty cup in the sink, patted me on the back, and announced that he was going to take a nap before dinner. I told him to feel free to use Burns's room since it would most likely be hours before he was back. Uncle George protested, but Gina told him that she'd slept in his bed. She said it was very comfortable and she slept like a baby. She even got up and walked him to the bedroom. She returned to the kitchen, sat down, and went back to writing. I was rummaging through the fridge for a snack.

I found an orange. I sat down and began to peel the orange. "Thank you for that."

"No problem. I've talked to him. He's likes Burns, but he's afraid. He managed to save most of his immediate family from the souls, and he is so afraid that Burns could turn for whatever reason and take you, and Kim, and Priscilla from him. He says he wants to die knowing you are safe."

"We _are_ safe. Burns would never turn on us."

She reached out and squeezed my hand. "He's old. He said the older a person gets, the more aware of their mortality they are. It's hard for him."

"I know. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"The last time we…"

"You don't have to worry. I'm on my period now."

"Oh." It was strange. I was actually disappointed.

She pulled her hand away. "I need to finish this."

"Sure."

I loved it when she was like this, almost demure. I finished peeling my orange and began to split it into sections.

"Want a piece?"

"No, thanks."

"Oh, come on. You know you want a piece."

She shot me a look. She knew what I meant.

I took a slice of orange and held it to her lips. "Come on. Take a little bite for me?"

She bit into it as I held it to her lips. The juice dripped down her chin. I wanted to lick it off of her. She raised her hand to her chin to wipe it. I bit my lower lip. Our eyes met.

"Don't look at me like that," she said as she averted her eyes.

"Like what?"

"Like you want to drag me into your room and have your way with me."

_Busted._ "I can't help the things I feel for you. I still love you."

"Do you?"

I stroked her face. "I think about you every day."

At that moment Evan entered the kitchen.

"Well, isn't this special?"

"I was just telling her that I hope you two are in a good place, and if she ever needs to talk, I'm here for her."

"We _are_ in a good place," he said emphatically.

"Great."

"Maybe you should go and check on Victoria. She looked pissed off when I saw her."

"What was she pissed off about?"

"I don't know. Maybe she's pissed off that her 'best friend' is in here showering my girl with attention."

"You are such an asshole."

"Oh, I'm so hurt. Especially since this is coming from the guy who feels the need to control all of the women on this mountain. Nadine's been looking pretty lonely, lately. Maybe you can fuck her out of her doldrums."

"Fuck you." I grabbed my coat and fled the room. I was so irritated. _What the fuck does she see in him, anyway?_ I couldn't believe he had brought me so close to violence.

I stomped my way back to the cave to see what could have pissed off Victoria. I hoped it had nothing to do with me. I found her sitting outside the cave at the playground sketching. I sat next to her. It was chilly. She didn't have a coat, only a sweatshirt.

"You cold?"

"A little."

I took off my coat and offered it to her.

"Nate, now you'll be cold."

"I'll just run back to my room and grab another coat." I kissed her on the cheek and took off at a jog. The main cave was unusually crowded today. The teens were in a corner playing a board game. A few of the ladies were sitting on the couch crocheting. I made my way to my room and grabbed a coat out of the alcove that I referred to as my closet. I threw it on and headed back to Victoria. She was wearing my coat and still drawing.

"So, I saw Evan, and he said you were pissed off."

"Yeah, fucking Holly. She pisses me off."

"Why does Holly piss you off?"

"Because whenever Wanda isn't around, she hovers around Ian like a fly on shit."

I couldn't help but smile. "I didn't know you had a vested interest in Ian and Wanda. I thought you didn't like the fact that he was human and she was a soul."

"Have you seen them together?"

"Yeah, what's your point?"

"They have been through so much together, and yet they still love each other so much. How can anyone not want to see them together?"

I drew in a big sigh.

"I know you love Wanda, but she glows when she's with him."

"Thanks." I got up to walk away.

"Nate, I'm not implying that I'm the right girl for you."

"Aren't you?" I shook my head and left her there. _What the hell? _I decided to go take a nap of my own. I was comfortable on my bed under my favorite blanket when there was a knock on my door.

"Go away, Victoria."

"It's Ian."

I got out of the bed and opened the door. "If you're here to punch me out, then just fucking kill me, but I never touched Wanda."

"Whoa! I came to see if you wanted to catch for me. I haven't had much time to pitch lately."

"Oh, yeah, sure. Let me get my coat."

On the way to the field, Ian nudged me. "Good to know that you're keeping your hands to yourself."

"Yeah, great for you."

We were quiet the rest of the way. Ian and I warmed up by throwing the ball to each other. Then I donned the catcher's gear, and Ian pitched to me for about a half hour before the sun disappeared behind the mountain. We walked the gear back to the root cellar. Kim was doing laundry. I hung back to talk to Kim.

"I have a question," I asked.

"No, I'm not going to do your laundry for you," she replied.

I chuckled. "I don't want you to do my laundry. It's about girls."

"Okay. What do you need to know about girls that you don't already know?"

"I need to know which girl you think is best for me."

"That's easy. Nadine."

"Nadine?" I said with obvious surprise.

"Sure, she's your age. She's pretty. She's my best friend, and she's been carrying a torch for you for five years."

"I don't love Nadine."

"Right, you love Wanda, but she's in love with Ian."

"She loves me, too. Even Ian knows that."

"She just says she loves you because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. No one can love more than one person in that way."

"I do."

"Do you now?"

"You promise to keep a secret?"

"If you love Victoria, then go for it. Why are you asking me?"

"It's not Victoria."

"The gypsy girl?"

"No. I love both Victoria and Nadia, but I'm not in love with them."

"Well then who are you in love with besides Wanda?"

I hesitated.

"Nate, who?"

"Gina," I said in a barely audible voice.

"Who?"

"Gina."

"She's got a boyfriend. Oh Nate, you nearly ruined Ian and Wanda's relationship. Please tell me you are not going to destroy Gina and Evan. They are such a cute couple."

"You think they are a cute couple?"

"Well sure, physically, they are perfect for each other and he's twenty and she's nineteen. Perfect. Why can't you stick the women who are closer to your age, like Holly?"

"I have no interest in Holly."

"Victoria, then. I mean she towers above you, but face it. You're short."

"I am not short."

"You're five foot nine. That's short for a guy."

"Thanks. You are really building my self esteem."

"Sorry, I'm your sister. It's my job to take you down a few notches now and then. I still love you, though."

"At least you love me."

"Nadine loves you."

"Nadine despises me." I said as I left the root cellar. The house was abuzz with people preparing trays of food to be toted to the fun house. Burns pulled into the driveway and beeped the horn. I quickly bolted out the back door to greet him. He had a large flat bed trailer attached to the truck. Burns got out the cab.

"I got two."

"Two?"

"Two septic tanks. I got one for the house that Ian is building."

"That is friggin' awesome. Ian will be pleased."

"I got a space heater, too—oh, and the door you requested for the first building."

"The fun house."

"The what?"

"The new building. Tori and I call it the fun house."

We grabbed the space heater which was actually a good size. It blew heat into the room. We set it up in the new building, and it really made a difference. I figured if we could mange to keep the door shut, we might be able to heat the room.

Ian was thrilled with the addition of the second septic tank. He wanted to move it, so Wanda wouldn't see it.

"Those septic tanks weigh a couple of thousand pounds each. They only way to move them off of the flatbed is with a crane. I have to go back and see about renting one."

"Crap, then what are we going to do with them?" Ian asked.

"Hey, we'll just tell her that the second one is for a bathroom I was planning on installing outside the cave to decrease the usage on the bathroom in the house."

"That's brilliant," Ian acknowledged.

"Hey, there's a reason I'm the leader around here."

Victoria entered the building and got on the line for her food. I was sitting with Ian and Burns. There was still plenty of room at the table. Kim and Nadine had filled their plates and walked to our table.

"Mind if we sit here?" Kim asked.

"Not at all. I love having my big sister here to pick on me."

She made a face. "I would never pick on my little brother."

The three of us got up and got our food. Victoria was sitting with Danny, Megan, and Sarah. I returned to our table and sat next to my sister. Priscilla squeezed in on my other side, which was fine with me. She was the one girl on the mountain that I could lavish attention on, and no one got mad.

After dinner we all helped to clean up, and then we headed back for an evening of entertainment. Tomorrow would be a busy day, now that we had supplies. Ian and I were playing pool. As we started the third game, Victoria arrived and called winner. I thought this was unusual because she was usually the poker player. Blake was playing poker. Most nights she took the seat next to him. Instead she sat down near the heater and watched me and Ian intently. I was still a little ticked off that she hoped that Wanda and I would never be a couple. I knew that it was a very minute chance of happening, but I never lost that hope.

Wanda entered the building. She approached Ian and kissed him. She waved at me and then sat down next to Tori on the far side of the room. She began to converse with Victoria who seemed content to ignore her. Suddenly, Victoria turned to talk to Wanda. I had no idea what the conversation was about. It was my shot at the table. I couldn't just walk over and interrupt. It would have to wait. I saw the two of them turn their attention to the poker game. I thought maybe they didn't want us to see what they were talking about. Suddenly, Wanda looked back at me and gave me a look. I didn't like the look she was giving me. I turned my attention to the pool table.

"They seem to be getting along," Ian pointed out.

I didn't answer. I was still worried about what Victoria said that garnered the dirty look from Wanda. I decided I needed to break up the 'buddy-fest'. I finished off Ian in short order. Then I strolled over to the two ladies and held out my hand to Victoria. Victoria took my hand, and I bowed to her. "Next victim."

Victoria smiled and got up. "One day one of us is going to beat you, and then you'll change your tune."

"I want to play the winner," Wanda called out.

I smiled. I was happy to be able to spend a little time with my porcelain doll even if it was under the watchful eye of Ian. "You're on, sister, and I'll even help you set up your shots. You just keep that Grizzly bear of a fiancé under control."

"You play nice and I won't have to control anybody."

I grinned at her. "Oh, I'll play nice," I replied.

Ian was standing at the card table. I knew he heard the exchange, but he was pretending that he didn't. Wanda walked over to where he was standing. They spoke to each other briefly.

Victoria called out. "I'll take one of those seats."

Wanda spoke loud enough for both Ian and me to hear. "I'll be right back. I'm going to go to the house to get some hot chocolate."

"Would you bring me back a beer?" Ian requested.

I joined in. "I'll take one, too— if you don't mind, Beautiful."

She left without another word. Megan and Sarah rose from their seats after the hand was over. Ian and Victoria quickly filled the seats. Ian sat with his back to me while Victoria grabbed the seat facing me. I was practicing shots when Wanda finally returned with the cocoa and the beers.

Wanda handed Ian his beer and leaned over to kiss him. As she pulled away, Ian said something to her and slapped her lightly on the butt.

"Ian!" she shrieked.

I finished racking the balls as Wanda joined me at the pool table. "Let's do this. Come here. I'll show you how to break."

I explained the difference between 'power' breaking which is what most men do and breaking, so only a few balls make it out of the pack. "As a woman, this is the better way to go because most men in turn will see it as weakness and rather than go for the easy in, they will display their ego and 'power' break during their turn. This gives you a bigger spread when it comes around to your turn again. Go ahead, try it."

Wanda broke the pack and just as I had predicted, there were only a few balls that made it to open space.

"Now if I was a smart man, I would sink the obvious ball right here, the solid in the corner pocket. Then I would go for the solid over here. I could pull to that corner down there. Then after having two in, I would then break the pack on this side where I see more solids than stripes. A good hit right here to the corner of the pack would probably pull away these two leaving you with no other choice other than to break the pack again. If you were lucky you might sink a ball, and it might even be a stripe. If you're not lucky, you will have split the pack for me, and chances are I'm going to get another ball in."

"That's fascinating. You got all of that after one hit?"

I grinned. "Hey, sweetheart, you should see me play chess."

Ian called out from the table. "Brainiac!"

"Don't be a hater, jock," I retaliated.

"Now I'm going to do what your muscle bound boyfriend over there would do."

"Fiancé!" Ian shouted out, and then he finished his beer.

"Right, fiancé." I broke the pack with power. Two balls went in the pockets—a solid and a stripe. "Now it's decision time. No matter what I choose you have a ball already in the pocket."

"I see. So, it's not just a game of angles, but a game of thinking ahead. You don't just want to sink a ball; you want to make it difficult for the next guy should you miss."

"Precisely."

Ian got up and left the table. "Be right back. I need to make a pit stop." He turned to me. "You need another beer?"

"Only if you are getting one for yourself." I smiled at Ian.

Ian was out the door in a moment.

I turned back to the pool table and decided what I wanted to go for. I set up the shot and sank a stripe. I set up another shot and made that one, too.

Wanda walked over to me before I could set up another shot. "Nate, I don't want him to drink."

I spoke in a low tone back to her. "You can't be his mother."

"What if he becomes belligerent?"

I grinned slyly. "Then you can come home with me."

"Nate, that's not an option, and you know it."

"You have so little faith in me?" It was Ian. He was behind us. He put down the bottles of beer and walked away. He waved to the table, "Sorry, guys, I'm tired. I've got a busy day ahead of me. I'm going to bed." He turned back to Wanda. "Don't stay out too late." He quickly left the building.

Wanda looked at me in shock. "What should I do?"

_Be her friend. _"Go to him. Go to him now. Remind him of the night he got drunk. Remind him of how he treated you. Remind him that he's not in college anymore."

She hugged me. "I love you." She ran out the door, and I saw Victoria give me an evil look.

I picked up a pool ball and let it roll off of my fingertips onto the pool table. I picked up one of the beers that Ian had set on the edge of the pool table. I cracked it open and chugged down half of the bottle. Then I turned to the poker players and the puzzle makers. "Any challengers? No? I guess I'll be going to bed then." I grabbed the other bottle of beer and shoved it into my pocket. "Good night."

I headed back to the cave and stopped for a quick pit stop in the outhouse. Once I reached my room, I kicked off my shoes and sat on the edge of the bed.

I finished the first bottle of beer and tossed it in the wastebasket. I was drinking the second bottle trying to obliterate the fact that Wanda had once again told me that she loved me when there was a knock on the door.

"Who the hell is it?"

"Nadine," she said from the other side of the door.

_Jesus. Kim put her up to this._ "Come in."

She opened the door and stepped in holding a book. "I wanted to return this to you."

"Ahhh! The old return the book ploy." I wasn't a drinker. My defenses were down and my filter was sinking fast.

"What do you mean?" she said innocently.

"Look, you need a good lay. I'm your man. I'll be happy to accommodate."

"I'm not looking to get laid," she said defensively.

"Aren't you? How long has it been since you've been with a man?"

"That's none of your business."

"It's been a year and you know it. Come here."

"No." She started to back away. I got up and grabbed her wrist. "Let go, Nate!"

"Tell you what. You let me kiss you one time. Then if you don't want to spend the night, you can go."

"No, Nate."

I forced her up against the wall and leaned against her. My hard-on was raging. Unfortunately, it was hoping for Wanda. I brushed the hair back behind her shoulder.

"Come on, Nadine. How about a little roll in the hay for old time's sake?"

She started to cry. I wasn't expecting that.

"Why are you crying? I thought this was what you wanted."

"No. I'm not a whore."

I released her. "I didn't say you were." I felt like shit. "Why did you come here, tonight?"

"To return your book."

"I'm sorry. I was talking to my sister today and she said…"

"Kim's always talking about how she wishes we were a couple. I told her that we tried it, but I wasn't the right girl for you."

"She said you love me."

"But you don't love me."

"No, I don't."

"Can I go now?"

"Nadine, I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Me, too."

Nadine left the room. I cried for Nadine for the first time. Gina moved on. She had Evan. Victoria wanted to move on. She had her sights set on Blake. Nadine had given up. She hadn't even looked at another man that I knew of.

I finished the other beer and disrobed leaving my clothes in a heap on the floor. I climbed into bed and promptly passed out.

10


	48. Chapter 48

**Sorry, this is late but like all of you, Christmas and all that it entails is cutting into my writing time. On the plus side, I did manage to edit 100 pages of For the Love of Brynn: Book 2 - The Moment of Truth. I have 80 pages to go and we move to the next stage in the publishing maze. Right now I'm still on track for my March release. I hope you are all having a good Christmas season so far and I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

A MAN'S GOTTA DO

10/08/02 – I love my sister, but she managed to make what was already a fucked up situation even worse. She tried to convince me that Nadine would like nothing better than to start up a new relationship with me. Of course, that's the last thing I want, but last night I managed to get a few beers in me, and I was feeling sorry for myself. Wanda and I had been having a good night. A little flirtatious on my part, but she didn't seem to mind. Then Ian decided to have a few beers, and she lost her pretty little head over it and left me hanging. I was already a bit perturbed at Victoria for flat out saying that she hopes that I never get my chance to be with Wanda. She claimed she didn't say it because she wants me for herself, but it sure felt that way to me. At any rate, Nadine came to my room last night to return a book, and in my drunken state I thought she was coming to make a play for me. What a fucking idiot I am. I embarrassed her and acted a fool. Why am I hitting on a girl I have no interest in? What the hell was I trying to prove? While it was obvious that Kim was correct in her assumptions, Nadine knows that I don't really want her, not the way that she wants me. How am I supposed to face her now? And Jesus, what if it gets back to Victoria?

I need to talk to Victoria, anyway. I am curious as to what the exchange between her and Wanda was last night.

I closed my journal and decided I would get dressed, take a nice hot shower, eat breakfast, and find Victoria—in that order. It was after eight. I missed the seven o'clock start of the work day, but I really wasn't in the mood to work today. I wasn't diggin' the idea of helping Ian's cause. I was feeling selfish.

I stopped by the worksite to let everyone know I was taking a 'me' day. I was more than just a little surprised to find no one was there. I headed to the house which was empty with the exception of the usual older crowd that had gathered to watch the morning shows on TV.

"Any of you see Ian and Burns?"

"They left you a note on the kitchen table," Maria replied. I headed into the kitchen and found the note. It was in Burns's handwriting.

_Nate,_

_I went to Irving to get the crane we needed. I'm not sure if I will be able to haul it with the truck. I may have to rent an eighteen wheeler to get it up here. I'm not sure what time I'll be home. I'll call you later._

_ Burns_

I shook my head—_again with the reference to renting_. So, I guess that explains why no one was working today. I thought I might snag Tom later and get him to help me put up the storm door on the fun house.

I took a nice long shower and grabbed a cup of coffee and some cereal for breakfast. Evan entered the kitchen as I was finishing my breakfast. "Where were you this morning?"

"I was feeling a little under the weather, so I slept in. Burns left me a note that he went to Irving."

"Yeah, they said we would resume the building tomorrow."

"Yeah, that's what I figured." Now, it was time to look for Victoria. I didn't think she'd still be in bed. It was a pleasant day. She wasn't in the house, so I figured I'd check the root cellar first since it was in closet proximity to where I was. I heard the music coming from the root cellar. I thought that was good sign that she was there.

I opened the door. "Tori?" I was pleasantly surprised to see Wanda. "Oh, hey, Beautiful." I stepped inside and shut the door. "How are things with you and Ian?"

"They're fine. Didn't you see him this morning?"

"Um. No. I slept in. I ended up drinking his beer and mine. I slept well. By the time I got to the building, they were gone. I ran into Evan, and he said we would resume tomorrow. So, no harm no fowl I guess."

"Yeah, I think Ian went with Burns on a road trip."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "He left us alone."

"I thought you were looking for Tori," she said smugly.

"I was, but she's not here. You are," I said, with a playful grin.

"Any port in the storm, I guess." She spoke with a bite in her tone.

"Huh?" I was confused by the remark.

"Nate. Why didn't you tell me about Victoria?"

"Tell you what?" My stomach tightened. I was afraid that she knew, and I didn't tell her which meant there was only one person who did.

She raised her voice. "You've been sleeping with her!"

I remained calm even though inside I was about to explode. "She told you that, huh?"

"Yes, she told me that. The question is why didn't _you_ tell me that?" She was visibly upset.

"I don't kiss and tell. You didn't see me running all over the mountain when I was spending time with you," I said defensively.

"Burns knew," she protested.

"Because of you, not because of me," I snapped back at her.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"What would it matter?"

Her eyes began to pool with tears.

I couldn't believe it. All this time, she'd been flaunting her love for Ian in front of me, and now she was going to fall apart because I was seeing Victoria? My anger faded to pity as I realized the reason for her tirade. "You're jealous!"

Now it was her turn to be defensive. "I'm not jealous."

I decided to lay it on the line. "It sucks, doesn't it? Every time I think about you and Ian being intimate, it's like someone twists a knife in the pit of my stomach. Then you come to me and tell me you love me, too."

"Nate…" she sputtered.

I looked at the floor and took a deep breath. "Look. This thing between Tori and I, it's just physical. I don't love her and she doesn't love me. We have nothing in common besides the sex." That was a huge lie. If anything, I had more in common with her than any other female on this mountain.

I approached her and held her face in my hands. I leaned close to her. "I would drop her in a minute for you." I slowly leaned closer and closer to her lips. She didn't flinch. Just as I was about to kiss her, I moved my lips to her ear. "But you're engaged." I kissed her on the cheek. "You know when I flirt with you shamelessly in front of Ian, that's my way of trying to release the pain I feel."

"I'm so confused. I know I have no right to be jealous, but you're right. I am. I'm sorry. I wish she had never told me. How am I supposed to keep this from Ian?"

"What? The fact that I'm sleeping with Tori? Or the fact that you're jealous?"

"Oh my god. This is such a mess!"

"Do you want me to stop sleeping with her?"

"I have no right to ask you that," she lamented.

"You're right, you don't, but I love you."

"No, Nate. I don't want you to make any decision because of anything that I feel for you. I am in love with Ian and I'm going to marry him. I'll never stop loving you, but you need to have a future, too—And I'm sorry for pushing you towards Holly."

"It's okay." I bit my bottom lip to keep from going back on my earlier words. I wanted to kiss her so badly. Hell, I wanted to lock the root cellar door and tear her clothes off and spend the rest of my day ravishing her.

"I guess you should go find her," she said solemnly.

"I wasn't looking for her for that. I was going to ask her if she wanted to paint something nice in the wedding hall for the nuptials. You know something that implied 'love'." It was another lie, but a lie that worked.

"I'm sorry. I assumed…"

"I'm not like you and Ian. I'm not that high strung. We don't have sex every day. It's occasional." Another lie. My middle name should have been high-strung. "Ian's a lucky guy." I backed out the door and left her.

I was so angry with Victoria, I couldn't see straight. _How the hell could she tell Wanda about us? Fuck! _I took off in search of Victoria. She wasn't in the house or the root cellar. I knew she was planning on tweaking her paintings in the dugout, so I took a chance. Sure enough she was there. Unfortunately, the long walk did not calm my emotions. It only served to heighten them. By the time I reached Tori, I was livid.

"Victoria!" I bellowed.

"What's wrong?" she asked, unsure of my urgency.

"You fucking told her?"

She obviously caught on quickly. "So what?'

"So, our relationship was supposed to be a secret."

"Why?"

"Because I fucking love her, you stupid…" I stopped myself before I said bitch, but I was thinking it.

"What is so damn special about her? She ignores you for the most part and then she spends one night playing pool with you and you are all gushy. I was here for you when she broke your heart!"

I raked my fingers through my hair. "I don't want to see you anymore."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"We were never a couple! Why can't you get that through your head?"

"Then what the hell are we?"

"We were two friends who were there for each other both physically and emotionally."

"Were?" She was shaking as she wiped the tears from her face.

"I can't do this with you anymore. I thought you cared about my feelings. I thought you understood my feelings for Wanda. Either you don't get it, or you just don't care." I turned to walk away.

"Go ahead! Bail on me! You don't deserve me!" she cried out.

I went straight to my room. I lay on my bed, and my own tears rained down. I was upset that Wanda knew about my trysts with Victoria. I was upset that my friendship with Victoria was over. I was upset that she couldn't see my side of things, but I was most upset that Victoria was right. Wanda used me to her advantage. To be quite honest, Ian did too. I spent the rest of the afternoon in my room. I slept for a little while and then I read. I got up in time for dinner. I sat with Rachel and Rob and Gina and Evan. Tori was a no show for dinner. Before the meal was over, Maria approached the table.

"Nathan, I haven't had the chance to have one of our little talks in a long time. What do you say you come and help me do my laundry after dinner and we can talk?"

"Sure. Maria."

After dinner, I helped carry the dirty dishes back to the kitchen for washing. I entered the kitchen with the tray of dishes. Victoria was sitting at the kitchen table eating her dinner with her brother. She avoided eye contact with me. I left the tray on the counter and left. It was 'teen night' to do the dishes. Megan, Sarah, Blake, and Carlos were in charge of the dishes tonight. I was out the door quickly before Victoria had a chance to stop me. She was the last person I wanted to have a heart to heart with tonight.

I entered the root cellar. Maria wasn't there yet. I pulled out a cot and got comfortable. Maria entered about ten minutes later carrying a large basket of laundry.

I rose off the cot to help her. "Why do you have so much laundry?"

"Some of this is your uncle's. Usually your sister does his laundry, but she hasn't been feeling well lately."

"Is she sick?"

"Yeah, every morning."

"She's pregnant?"

"Seems that way."

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"Well you've been so wrapped up in your _own_ life; maybe she didn't think it was high on your list of priorities."

"That's crazy! She's my sister!"

"Well, she's been keeping it a secret. Ever since she lost the last one…"

I cut her off. "What do you mean 'lost the last one?'"

She was pregnant a few months ago, but she miscarried.

"Why didn't I know about this?"

"A—You were spending time at the caverns when it happened, and B— Just because you are the leader around here doesn't mean you get to know everything about everyone else's private life, which brings me to the reason I called you out here. What the hell is going on with your private life?"

"Um…"

"Don't even try to tell me it's none of my business. You want to know what _I _did today?"

"What?"

"I spent my entire afternoon trying to talk Victoria out of leaving the mountain. If Burns had been here, she would have been gone."

"What? That's crazy!"

"She's wounded, Nathan. She's been out there in the world trying to survive for the last six years. She put her heart out there for the first time in a dog's age and you stomped on it. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that we were friends with benefits."

"You are such an ass. If I was your mother, I would slap you right now."

"She's not leaving, right?"

"I don't know. She could pack her things and leave in the middle of the night. She doesn't want to be here anymore. She's humiliated. And to tell you the truth, most of the people on the mountain like seeing the two of you together. You're brains and she's power. And no one wants to see you piss off Ian. Next time, he just might kill you."

"She wouldn't leave. She couldn't."

"You want to test that theory? Because if she leaves and she gets caught, our little home on the mountain will be open season for the souls."

"Okay." I sat on the cot and held my head in my hands.

"I never thought you were heartless, Nathan."

"I'm not. Victoria just pushes so hard."

"Would it kill you to have a relationship with her? I mean, Wanda is going to marry Ian. Even you can't stop that. It's going to happen, Nathan."

"I know— But what about Gina?"

"Gina has Evan."

"Gina has Evan because I wouldn't have a relationship with her. If I start having an open relationship with Tori, it will destroy Gina, and the truth is I love Gina."

"Boy. You never should have slept with Victoria then. You made your bed, Mr. Politician, now you have to lie in it. You better think about it and think hard."

I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I need to talk to Victoria."

"No. Give her a little time. If you see her, at least try to be nice to her."

"Yeah, all right. Thanks."

I got off the cot and kissed her on the cheek.

I left the root cellar and headed for the fun house. I figured if I hung out in a social setting then maybe I'd run into Tori, and I could start up a conversation and eventually talk to her in private. The pool table was being commandeered by Megan and Danny. I called winner and proceeded over to the tables where poker and gin rummy were being played, I stood behind Gina and massaged her shoulders. It did not go unnoticed by Evan who was at the next table playing poker. I leaned down to her ear and whispered, "No matter what happens, just remember that I'll always love you." She twisted around and made a face. I could tell that she was trying to figure out what I meant.

Danny beat Megan at pool which was actually quite a feat considering Megan was four years older than him. I never did put in the storm door since I sat in my room brooding all afternoon. It was reasonably warm, so there were lots of people here tonight. Some of the elders hovered over a puzzle trying to put it together. Danny called me over to the pool table. Our game became a tutorial in the strategy of pool. Ian and Wanda entered, and Ian immediately sat down to play with the poker crowd that included Holly, Carl, Evan, Rachel, and Rob. Wanda added her name to the list for pool underneath Megan's. She was hanging out by the puzzle table when Victoria entered the building. She crossed the room to where Wanda was and spoke to her. Victoria turned and marched out the door with Wanda in tow.

Ian and I both turned and looked at each other. I shook my head indicating I wasn't crazy about Tori dragging Wanda out the door. I dropped my cue stick on the table and ran out the door after them. Ian was right behind me. We were near the corner of the building when I heard them.

"I _told_ you not to tell anyone!" Victoria was yelling at her. "What gives you the right to screw up someone else's life?"

"I wasn't trying to screw up anything; I just wanted to know why I had to hear it from you and not from him," Wanda said in her defense.

"Yeah, well, he's pissed and now he doesn't want to see me anymore!"

I rounded the corner with Ian close behind.

"I didn't tell him not to sleep with you. I swear!"

"How many men do you need, you parasite? You destroyed the first satisfaction I've had in six years!" She was so angry tears were running down her face. She was wiping them away with her arms. Ian started towards her, but I stepped in front of him.

I placed my hands on Tori's face. "Look at me, Tori," I said, as I tried to get her to focus on me. "Look at me." I kissed her once on the lips. Then I kissed her again. The third time, I really kissed her. I wanted her to know that I was sorry for the things I said, and I didn't want Tori to beat the crap out of Wanda. I really didn't want Ian to beat the crap out of Tori for calling Wanda a parasite. I pulled back slowly. "Nothing's going to change, all right?"

Wanda's eyes locked with mine for a brief second, and then she took off running. Ian shot me a look and bolted after her. "Wanderer!" he called after her.

I knew Wanda was upset. I didn't want her to be hurt, but my priority right now was Victoria.

"I don't want to be here anymore!" Victoria said in anguish.

"Tori, you're a part of this family."

"I can't be a part of any family if you hate me," she whimpered.

"Xena, I could never hate you. I love you. If I didn't, I wouldn't have been so angry, but you broke the trust, Tori."

"I'm sorry," she sniveled.

I took her hand in mine. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"To spend some much needed time together." I had to make amends and keep her from taking off in the middle of the night.

"But what about Wanda?"

"I guess she's just going to have to get over it." I stopped and turned to Victoria. "I deserve happiness, too," I said with resolve.

We didn't speak anymore about it. We entered my room, and I unzipped her coat. Her tears were gone, but her face was red and swollen from her tears. She stared at me, but she looked like she was far away in thought."

"Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm not sure what all this is supposed to mean."

"It means I want to spend the night with you."

"As what? Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?"

I looked at her sternly. "You know I don't do commitments, but I suppose we are as close as two friends can be."

"What if Wanda questions me?"

"Tell her it is what it is. We are close."

"You say that you love me, but you're not _in_ love with me."

"Are you trying to start an argument? Can't you be happy that I love you and right now, I want you naked in my bed, so I can feel your beautiful body next to mine?"

I pulled her into my arms and pressed my lips to hers. They were cold. I closed my lips over hers and tried to warm them with mine. I felt her body shiver.

"Victoria, are you all right?"

"I'm freezing."

"Take your clothes off and climb into bed. I'll warm you up." I pulled an extra blanket out of the dresser and placed it on the bed. Tori was visibly shaking as she took off her clothes. I undressed quickly and climbed into the bed. She was still wearing her bra and panties. I didn't question her about it. Instead, I rolled toward her. She curled up and buried her face in my chest.

"There now, isn't that better?"

"Uh huh."

We lay quietly holding each other. I thought this was a good a time as any to address my fears. "Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you make me a promise?"

"It depends."

"Promise me you will never leave the safety of the mountain."

"You talked to Maria," she surmised.

"I did," I acknowledged.

"So, this was all to keep me here to preserve the safety of the people on the mountain." Tori was shrewd all right. She started to pull away.

"Victoria—while I _am_ concerned for the welfare of my people, it doesn't compare to the devastation I would feel if I knew you were back out there fighting every day for your life. I may be an asshole, but you belong here with the family. Danny deserves a chance to live a decent life."

"You _are _an asshole," she said dryly.

"But I'm a lovable asshole, right?"

"Sometimes I wish you weren't."

I kissed her collarbone. She was warm now. I nuzzled the nape of her neck, and she placed her hands squarely on my chest. I held her face in my hands, and the make-out session began. After nearly five minutes of tongue action, I peeled her bra off and my hands traveled to her breasts. My mouth found her nipples and I let my tongue play. She reciprocated by reaching for my dick. I wasn't at a full erection, but that didn't stop her from sliding her hand up and down the shaft the way I had taught her. It felt damn good.

"Damn, Xena, you keep that up, and I'm going to jump on you."

"Oh no, if I'm going to spend the night in your bed, I want the full treatment."

"Say no more, my sweet."

I slid the blanket off exposing her long lean body. I kissed her belly and slowly slid her panties to her ankles, and then she kicked them off. I parted her legs and went to work. She tasted sweet. I enjoyed the sound of her soft coos and moans as I pleased her. When she climaxed, I felt satisfaction. I leaned up to her face as I wiped my lips. "Did you enjoy that?"

"More than you could ever imagine. For six years I had nothing. Danny never left my side, so I couldn't even pleasure myself. I was okay with that, and then you came along. You rekindled all those sexual desires that I had suppressed—and then today you told me we were through."

"I'm sorry, darlin'. I promise to never push you out of my life again."

"Now, I want to please you," she declared.

I rolled onto my back in anticipation. She straddled my thighs and grabbed a hold of my dick. She leaned forward to lick the tip, and I responded right away.

"Tell me if I do something wrong."

She was positioned in such a way that I could see everything she was doing. I thought to myself, _if Gina was sucking my dick, her breasts would look phenomenal in this position. _Victoria was pleasing the hell out of me, but I was yearning for Gina. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ I closed my eyes and pretended Gina's lips and tongue were on me. I had forgotten it was Victoria doing the deed, and I allowed myself to climax. I never even warned Victoria, because in my mind, it was Gina and Gina would have swallowed every last drop. Poor Victoria was not expecting me to shoot my load. She started to choke. I opened my eyes to see her spitting up sperm all over the bed.

"Oh my God! Tori, are you all right?"

She was coughing. "That was disgusting! Why did you do that?" she sputtered.

"It felt so good. It came on all of a sudden. I couldn't stop myself." The truth was I could have, had I not been lost in my fantasy. I jumped off the bed and grabbed a towel. I wiped her face. "You were awesome, babe."

"It didn't feel awesome." She paused briefly. "You ejaculated. Now you won't be able to make love to me."

"Well, not right this second, but we have all night," I said with a smile. I wiped the sperm from my sheets.

"I have to go," she announced.

"What? No! Why?"

"Danny."

"I thought you were spending the night with me? Can't you just tell him to sleep alone?"

"No, I can't. He's only twelve and he's my responsibility." Again, the voice of reason. "What time is it?" she asked as she donned her bra.

"It's eleven."

"I have to get Danny."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No," she said abruptly.

I felt as though she was upset that I ejaculated in her mouth. "Are you mad at me?"

"No, not at all." She didn't sound very convincing to me.

"You're not going to bolt on me, are you?"

"Is that what you think?"

"It's what I fear."

She turned and looked solemnly at me. "Do we have a future?"

"I hope we all have a future."

"I mean you and me. Tomorrow, are you going to push me away and tell me you love Wanda?"

I needed to be truthful. "I'll always love Wanda, but I have no intentions on pushing you away. When I kissed you in front of her and told you nothing has changed, I meant it."

"What about Gina?"

I paused—probably a little too long. "Gina's got Evan."

"But…" she said goading me to spill my guts.

"But nothing. I will continue to be there for you until the day comes when you entice Blake into your bed and you decide that you don't need me anymore." I knew it was hard for her to hear, but like Sarah, I knew there would come a day when Tori would have the nerve to approach Blake, and then I would become the 'ex' in her life. "I want you to know that until that happens, I won't kick you out of my bed—and if you desire to stay the whole night, I would welcome it."

"Do you mean that?"

I reach for her hand. "Stay. Danny will be fine."

"I can't,' she said sullenly. She was fully dressed by now. I was wearing only my boxers and my slippers. Cold floors were one of the drawbacks of living in a cave. I hugged her and gave her a romantic kiss.

"Maybe we can do breakfast in the morning?" I offered.

"Sure," she replied, although it wasn't very convincing.

"Just remember, my door is always open," I said, in an effort to reassure her.

She left, and I crawled into my bed and turned out the light. I lay awake, the events of the day still running through my mind. I was still worried that I hadn't convinced her to stay. It would be so easy for her to take Danny and sneak off in the middle of the night. I had finally drifted off to sleep when I woke to the realization that someone was climbing into my bed. In the pitch blackness, I couldn't be sure who it was. Victoria had left me for Danny, and Gina was known to pull a surprise on me. I could grope for her breast. _Yeah, that wouldn't be too obvious. _I spoke and prayed it was the right girl.

"Tori, I hope that's you." I held my breath because if it wasn't, I was screwed.

"Danny is staying with Carlos tonight. I hope you don't mind that I came back."

"Are you kidding? It's cold in this bed without you."

Tori snuggled into my chest.

"Sleep or sex?" I asked as I stroked her hair.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Hmmm. How about sex, then sleep?"

She reached down and touched my dick. It wasn't hard.

"I don't know. You don't seem to be _up_ for the job."

I reached over and turned on the light. Then I pushed her onto her back and looked straight into her eyes. "A—sex with you is not a job and B—I don't like to grope around in the dark. I prefer to be able to use all of my senses when I make love to you." I let my hand glide over the curve of her breast and followed the tight groove down the center of her abdomen. She sucked in her breath as my fingers grazed her hip bones. "Mmmmm," I hummed as I kissed her belly. Tori stroked my hair, as she ran her fingers lightly across my back.

"I'm ready now. Want to see?" I said as I rose up on my knees like a stallion.

"Just don't hurt me."

"I hurt you?"

"No, I was kidding."

"Well, I can't promise you won't be sore by morning because I'm feeling—very bad tonight."

"You mean very good."

"No, I'm going to be so bad. I am going to take you every way imaginable." And I did. I made love to her three times. After the first time in the missionary position, we settled in to go to sleep. Just as I felt her body relax, I woke her up by playing between her legs. The second time I had her straddle me. Then, we settled in to go to sleep again. Twenty minutes later, I began to kiss her neck and my dick was hard again. It was like a marathon night with Nadia only I was the one who couldn't seem to get enough. I don't know why I was so horny. Maybe it was because it felt so good to be inside of her. Maybe it was because I appreciated the fact that she came back. Maybe it was because I was ready to be in a relationship with Victoria. Whatever it was, I was insatiable. The third time I took her on her hands and knees. After I climaxed, she collapsed on the bed.

"No more!" she mumbled.

I leaned over her and kissed her forehead. "Okay, I think I'm good," I teased.

"Think? I think I'm going back to my room."

I engulfed her in my arms. "I'm teasing, I'm very satisfied."

"Did Gina do this with you all night long?"

"No." It was a lie. Gina was like Nadia when it came to me. "And for the record, the night is not over."

"Do you _want _me to leave?"

"No, sweetheart. I want you to stay. I promise I won't attack you again." I rolled off the bed and disposed of my third condom in the trash.

"Well, you can attack me again—Just not tonight!"

"The sun comes up in four hours; then it will be tomorrow," I said, with an evil grin.

"You're so stupid!"

"Stupid, but happy." I pulled her into a spoon position. We were quiet for a minute before I whispered in her ear. "Besides, I ran out of condoms."

"Thank God!"

11


	49. Chapter 49

**So, I, like all of you have been immersed in this thing called Christmas and having a kitten doesn't help my concentration either. He soooo cute and he's definitely got a lot of crazy in him. Anyway, I did manage to ignore wrapping gifts, so I could continue Nate's crazy life. We're coming up on Chapter 50. I hope to post it by Christmas day, so that after the madness of opening presents wanes, you might get a chance to read that chapter. Oh, yeah, and if you get a Kindle, you might want to try For the Love of Brynn….**

SEDUCTION

10/09/2002 – Yesterday was one of those days that started out so bad, I wished it would be over. By the end of the day, or should I say night, I was extremely happy and completely satisfied.

It started when Wanda confronted me about my relationship with Victoria. It seems that Victoria spilled the beans, and Wanda wasn't happy about it. Not only did she allow her jealousy to show, but she was pissed that I wasn't the one to tell her. I was so angry; I bawled out Victoria and told her that I didn't want to see her again. Tori, in turn, was so pissed she went to Maria and told her she was thinking of leaving the mountain. Then she confronted Wanda and called her a parasite in front of Ian. I needed to diffuse the situation and keep Tori from leaving the mountain. The only way to do that was to bed her and in the process it seems I may have entered into a full blown relationship. That scares the shit out of me. I only hope that now that I'm in this relationship, I don't destroy the friendships I have with both Wanda and Gina.

Victoria was sleeping peacefully. I leaned toward her and pulled the hair from her face. "Hey, Xena."

She stretched and rolled away.

"Tori, I'm getting up."

"I'm tired," she said in her groggy state.

"Okay, you sleep. I'm going up to the house for breakfast. I have some chores that I have been neglecting and I need to address them today." I kissed her forehead.

I dressed quickly and headed for the house. It was raining. It was cold. A dreary day all the way around. I got there just as Ian, Burns, and the others were leaving for the bunkhouse.

"Well, if it isn't Romeo," Ian announced.

I let the comment wash over me. "I'm just gonna wash up and grab a cup of coffee and I'll meet you at the bunkhouse."

"We were going to work on the plumbing, but since it's raining we are going to work on the heating. Burns brought back everything we need to get it in place."

"Well, I was going to get the storm door in place on the first building, so we doing lose so much heat when people are coming and going."

"I'll help you with that," my brother-in-law offered.

I nodded to him. "Good."

I washed up and headed to the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee. I was about to exit the kitchen when I almost walked into Gina. She pushed me through the door and back into the kitchen. "I went to your room to find out what you meant by your comment last night, and when I entered I found Victoria sleeping in your bed. Her clothes were on the floor. What the hell, Nate?"

"Let me explain." Technically, I didn't owe her any explanation at all, but we had a connection that couldn't be denied. "I'm seeing her now."

"What the hell does that mean? I can't deny you a piece of ass, but what happened to setting the alarm for five o'clock?"

"I promised her I wouldn't kick her out of my bed."

I could see the anger in her face. "Why her and not me?"

"It's complicated."

The tears surfaced. "She's prettier than me and probably better in bed."

My heart was breaking for her. "No. It's not like that at all."

"Then what's it like because I'm dying here," she lamented. "You set rules and I followed them—and it's morning—and she's lying naked in your bed."

I stepped forward to touch her face. "Gina."

She backed away. "Don't touch me! Is she the one who made you forget about Wanda?"

"No. I still love Wanda. Tori and I have been close friends, and we've been sleeping with each other for a while. She told Wanda and I got pissed and broke it off. She was hurt. She's not strong like you…"

"What do you mean? She could kick almost anyone's ass on this mountain. She could probably kick yours!"

"I don't mean strong in that way. You've been through so much emotionally, but you have this inner strength that keeps you from giving up. You found Evan to help you with the hurt I caused you. Victoria would rather run."

"Run where?"

"Out there—back to the woods—back to a life of solitude. She'd rather be on the run from the souls than to be here with me if I dump her."

"She's just telling you that, so you won't dump her. It's a game she's playing on you. I could have done the same thing."

"But you didn't, she did. And if I didn't think that she was perfectly capable of carrying it through, she wouldn't be sleeping in my bed right now."

"So, she blackmailed you into being her girlfriend?"

"I don't think she sees it that way. I still think she hasn't made up her mind yet. I have to think of the safety of the family. If she goes and she gets caught, we're screwed."

"I hate her."

"Gina, hate is a strong word. She needs me right now. I know she has her eyes on Blake, but I'm not sure he's ready to move into a relationship with Tori. For now, I will be what she needs me to be." I walked forward and pulled Gina into my arms. I held her tightly. "I love you Gina. Please believe that. If I'd have known I was going to end up in this relationship, I never would have slept with her in the first place."

She looked at me with tears on her cheeks. "So, you don't like her?"

"I like her just fine. She's been a good friend to me. I'm just not in love with her. When I slept with her it changed the relationship, and now I can't go back. I want to be there for her and I enjoy making her happy, but I hope she doesn't push for more than I can give her."

"You mean marriage."

"And I know you love Evan, and I have no right to ask this of you, but…"

"I'm not going to marry him."

I placed my hands on her face and kissed the tears on her cheeks. Then I kissed her lips. I wanted her to know just how much I still loved her. She kissed me back, and the intensity of the kiss escalated with each passing second. I didn't want to stop. Her lips were infectious, and she tasted like heaven. I finally pulled away against my better judgment.

"I still love you, Gina. I wish the circumstances were different."

"I do, too. Maybe in the future…"

"Maybe." I was so conflicted. In my heart, I was screaming 'yes, don't even wait. Do it now'—but my head was screaming 'Wanda could still come to her senses and if you're involved with Gina, you'll lose her.' In my mind, I knew if Wanda suddenly became available, I'd find a way to dump Victoria.

I chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"I really am a dick."

"Yeah, well I'm in love with that dick."

I kissed her again quickly. "I have to go. The guys are already working. Please don't let Tori know that you know. I am still going to try to keep this whole relationship on the QT."

Gina nodded her head. I grabbed my coffee and raced out the door. Tom and I spent the rest of the morning attaching the screen door to the outside of the funhouse in the rain. I wasn't thrilled about getting soaked, but I knew this door would benefit everyone, so I muddled through, as did Tom. The others were in the bunkhouse putting in the heating ducts. The plan was to put the heating ducts into the funhouse after lunch when school was let out. After Tom and I finished with the door, we went back to the cave to change out of our wet clothes. Tori was gone. I wasn't sure what she was up to. I could only hope she was satisfied with the events of last night and had resigned herself to stay. I knew Danny was in school, so that gave me some relief.

When I arrived back at the house, lunch was being loaded and carried to the funhouse. Tori was one of those carrying multiple bottles of soda. Her arms were full, and I offered to take a few bottles from her.

"I was wondering what you were up to," I commented as I unloaded three bottles from her arms.

"Yeah, why did you let me sleep?"

"You said you were tired. I had to go to work."

"I saw you and Tom in the rain putting in the storm door."

"Yeah, that was fun," I said sarcastically.

We walked together to the funhouse. She and I sat at a table along with Evan and Gina, Kim, Tom, and Priscilla. I noticed Gina glancing up at me several times during lunch. The conversation was light. Mostly Tom, Evan, and I talked about the workload for the afternoon. Ian and Burns were hoping to move us all to this building to get the ductwork put in. This was the building that needed the heat as soon as possible. The space heater wasn't doing the trick in this cold damp weather even with the storm door. We couldn't roll out the insulation in the ceiling until we had the heat pump installed. We couldn't lay the concrete in the rain, either. Burns decided to take the van into Irving to get the heating unit.

We actually got a lot accomplished. Victoria volunteered to help with dinner which was a good sign. After dinner, some congregated in the funhouse and many others migrated to the house to watch TV. Ian played poker. Wanda was a no show. I wasn't so sure if she was a fan of 'So You Think You Can Dance' or if she was just avoiding me at the moment. Ian seemed to be in a pleasant mood. I could only surmise that he was happy that I was sleeping with Victoria even if he didn't know what the scope of the relationship was.

The next two weeks went by without any real drama which for me was a huge victory. Victoria got her period just two days after the big showdown with Wanda. I asked her if she wanted to spend the night with me, and she turned me down which gave me pause that she still wasn't sure about the setup. I had to drag the fact that she had her period out of her. She wasn't comfortable telling me about her 'girl' things. After that, she and I spent a few nights together, but never two nights in a row. She did stay until morning on the nights she slept in my bed.

Most evenings, she played poker with Ian, Blake, Carl, Rachel, and few others while I played pool. Wanda finally ventured back into my life at the pool table. I taught her as much as I could, but I was careful not to cross the line with the flirting. I still flirted, but I tried to keep it light. I was trying very hard to respect them as a couple. Some nights were harder than others. I often noticed Tori attempting, however weakly, to flirt with Blake. She was more junior high than rated 'R'. She would smack him on the shoulder or bump him. When I flirted my hands caressed my object of affection. As a matter of fact, I massaged Gina's shoulders a few times. She enjoyed it, but I was sure Evan wasn't thrilled about it. Still, he kept his mouth shut and remained in his seat.

Most nights, Tori and I left together. We'd walk up to the house to use the bathroom and I'd walk her back to her room like old times, only now, instead of a hug, it was always a kiss. In the mornings, I would kiss her if we were alone, but if we weren't, I'd give her a peck on the forehead and mess with her hair. She seemed to be okay with that in the grand scheme of things. I think a lot of people were wondering exactly what was going on between us. Even Ian mentioned it one day when he and I were working together outside the bunkhouse sealing the windows with weather stripping.

"So, you and Victoria—what is your status?"

"Status? I don't know. She's a close friend and sometimes we are there for each other, if you know what I mean."

"So, you're not boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"I guess if there was prom coming up, we'd go together and we'd probably have sex afterwards, but the next morning, we'd still be friends."

"So…"

"I still have mad love for your fiancée, if that's what you're asking."

Ian drew in a deep sigh. "Yeah, that's what I was asking."

"Anything that happens between me and Tori does nothing to alter the feelings I have for Wanda. Sorry."

Two nights later, I was in the funhouse with the gang. We finally had heat and it was crowded. Victoria was playing poker with the usual crowd. I was running the pool table. As usual, Wanda was one of my loyal subjects when it came to playing pool. Tonight she was dressed rather provocative. She had just arrived home from a day trip of shopping. It seems that shopping was something Wanda loved to do. She was wearing a tight pair of jeans I had not seen on her before and a pair of high heeled boots. Wanda's breasts were adequate for a girl of her stature, but her ass and legs were definitely the thing a guy in a bar would notice first.

I was racking the table while she picked out her favorite cuestick.

"You know I'm leaving next week," she said in a sweet voice.

"I'm sure Ian will miss you."

"Well, it's nice to know _someone_ will miss me." She bent over the pool table and deliberately stuck her ass out as she broke the balls.

My eyes narrowed. "What is your game?"

"What do you mean? We're playing pool," she said coyly.

This wasn't like her. Wanda's flirting was usually benign. This was some serious shit. "No, you know what I mean. What are you up to?"

I didn't want to draw attention to what was happening between us, so I lined up my shot and knocked it in. Wanda was silent while I concentrated on the table. I made another shot and then deliberately set up a difficult shot that I didn't think I'd make. I missed and stepped back to give Wanda her turn.

"You've just been kind of distant lately." She bent over and again the seductive pose did not go unnoticed. To make matters worse, she missed an easy shot.

"You're not concentrating," I pointed out.

"Neither are you," she teased.

This was trouble. I needed find out what the hell was going on. "Put your coat on. We're going for a walk. _Ian!_" I called out. "I'm borrowing your fiancée for a bit."

"Bring her back unscathed," Ian replied, without turning around.

A myriad of things were coursing through my brain. The wedding was getting close, and she did mention that she was leaving in a week. Maybe she was just trying to get in some last minute hanky panky before saying 'I do.' Or maybe Ian told her of my conversation about Victoria not changing the way I felt about Wanda. Maybe she was testing me. _Maybe,_ she was trying to break us up.

I took her by the hand and led her out of the building. I walked toward the root cellar. "To answer your question, I've been distant because I thought it might be better for everyone involved."

"I guess sleeping with Victoria makes it easier to avoid me." She certainly wasn't trying to hide her jealousy.

"I could say the same for you," I shot back.

"It's never been easy to avoid you. My question is what if Victoria hooks up with Blake, and she has no need for you anymore?"

"It sounds to me like you're asking if I'm going to be upset if I lose her."

"Yes, that is exactly what I'm asking."

_This is about Blake. _"Of course I'll be upset. I've got a pretty good thing going here with no strings attached. It's nothing compared to losing you though."

"I'm guessing here, but I think that maybe Victoria asked Ian to help her get Blake's attention. I didn't want you to think I was trying to ruin what you have with her out of jealousy."

_She's trying to cover. She's lying. I'm sure of it. _"So, you're not jealous anymore. That's good," I said to test her reaction.

"I never said that."

I didn't answer. I led her into the root cellar. I turned on the dryers to heat up the room. It gave me the few minutes I needed to formulate what I wanted to say.

I turned and faced her. "It doesn't explain that big flirt scene you were making in the game room."

"Ian gave Blake some pointers on how to flirt with Victoria. I thought if I kept your attention, you might not notice what was going on at the table."

"Okay, you always have my attention, so it doesn't explain the excessive flirting and the lack of concentration on the game."

"Well, I'm leaving next week and…"

"And you want me to miss you," I surmised.

"Only as much as I'll miss you."

_Shit. Why does she do this to me? _"Look, I've been trying very hard to respect you and Ian as a couple. I guess when I saw Tori go off the deep end; I felt that what I was doing was wrong."

She looked deep into my eyes. "You always look so sad when I see you."

I sighed. "At least before, we were friends, even if I did push the boundaries as often as possible."

"We _are_ friends. That's why I was so upset when I had to hear from Victoria that you and she were shacking up."

"The truth is I've been in this situation before. Victoria is not the first girl on this mountain that I've spent time with. I keep these things a secret because we are a small community. Everyone seems to know everyone else's business. I'm not trying to be a home wrecker." It was the first time that I had been honest with her about my past.

"Who? There aren't that many single girls on the mountain."

"I've never told anyone before. You have to promise me to keep the secret, even from Ian."

"Ian is going to be my husband. How can I keep a secret from him?"

"Then forget it," I said flatly.

"Does Victoria know?"

I couldn't possibly tell her that Victoria knew everything about me. "No. She's not nosy like you."

"You're right. Forget it. Let's go back."

I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me. "There were two others."

She didn't need to know about Nadia. After all, she wasn't on the mountain. Neither was Lacey. Gina was someone I would protect because I did love her, and I wouldn't want to ruin her relationship with Evan if that is what she wanted and I _really_ didn't want to ruin my chances with her in the future.

"I'm listening."

"First there was Nadine."

"Ben's mom?"

"Yeah, we had a thing for a few years. I insisted we keep it a secret or I would stop spending time with her. I didn't love her. Eventually she gave me an ultimatum, and I couldn't honor it."

"And who was the other?"

"Rachel."

"But Rachel's with Rob," Wanda pointed out.

"She was with Rob when she found this place."

"You had an affair with her?"

"I'm not proud of it. Pickings are pretty slim around here. Rob never found out and they are happy now." Another lie.

"So, I show up and you move onto me?" she said with disdain.

"No. Not at all. You showed up and I fell in love. That's the kicker. The ones I didn't love I was able to bed. You…" I took her hands in mine and then looked into her deep blue eyes.

"You know what I don't understand?"

"What?"

"Ian. He let you walk out of the game room with me tonight. Why did he do that?"

"Maybe he trusts you," I replied.

"No. He's known about all the close calls I've had with you in just this last month. He keeps saying 'You wanted to kiss him'." She suddenly looked panicked. "Nate, I have to go back. Please take me back."

"Okay, if that's what you want."

"It's what I want—we're still friends right?"

"Forever."

We walked hand in hand back to the game room. When we arrived, I took off my coat and tapped Ian on the shoulder. "I brought her back unscathed."

Rob and Rachel had taken over the pool table. I called next game. Wanda called the game after that. When the hand that Ian was playing was over, Wanda took the opportunity to sit in his lap. They were having a private conversation.

Once Wanda and I got the pool table she flirted shamelessly and I flirted right back. It definitely was not 'junior high.' She'd bend over to take the shot, and I'd walk by and slide my hand over her ass. She'd shoot me a look. I'd bend over and she's lean in close and say in a seductive voice. "Don't lose your concentration." Victoria didn't appreciate it, but I wasn't going to get another chance like this. My dick was hard as a rock. I wasn't sure what the conversation between Wanda and Ian was all about, but he seemed to be ignoring us.

At the end of the night, she gave me a great big hug good night. Victoria rose from the table and asked me to walk her to the house, so she could use the facilities before going back to the cave. I wasn't sure what had happened between her and Blake, but it seemed she was jealous enough to make sure that Wanda knew I was the one taking her home. She didn't kiss me, but she interlaced her fingers in mine as we walked to the house. Ian and Wanda were behind us.

"Do you mind if I stay tonight?" she asked loud enough for them to hear.

I knew if I said that I didn't want her to stay, Wanda would be pleased, but Victoria would be furious. If I kissed her, it would be an obvious sign that I wanted her to stay. I needed to answer quickly though because a lengthy pause would indicate my indecision. I quickly thought of an answer that might actually get me off the hook from saying yes or no. Instead, I would be placing the ball back into Victoria's court.

"Do you have arrangements for Danny?" I asked, sounding like a concerned parent.

The ball was in her court and she lobbed it right back at me. "Well, maybe I don't have to stay the whole night." With that, she grabbed my ass. The girl of my dreams had just witnessed my lover grabbing my ass in an obvious power play. If I didn't respond I'd be in some serious shit.

It killed me to do it, but I played Victoria's game. "Hey now, save some for later," I responded playfully. It was just what Victoria wanted.

When we reached the cave, Victoria checked in with Danny, who was in the girls' room playing with Sarah's Nintendo DS game. She gave him permission to stay with the girls, but she told him he'd better go to sleep at midnight. She went so far as to warn him that she'd be back to check on him. The mattress I have given to Gina was still in this room even though she stayed with Evan except on the nights when they were fighting.

Once we got into my room, Victoria finally spoke her mind. "What the hell was up with you and Wanda tonight?"

"Nothing. How are things with you and Blake?"

"What do me and Blake have to do with anything?"

"She seems to think you have a thing for Blake and that you were flirting with him. I guess she was looking out for my best interest."

"I was not flirting with Blake."

"Was Blake flirting with you?"

"No!"

"He didn't say anything out of the ordinary?"

"No. He told me my hair looked nice."

"Does he usually tell you your hair looks nice?"

"No. He and Ian were talking about women. Ian was talking about all the women he dated in college. Ian said he's not sure if he likes his women older or younger because Wanda's body is so young, but Wanda is ancient by our standards."

"What did Blake have to say to that?"

"He said—he liked older women."

"There you go—see? He's trying to make a play for you and Ian's helping. Wanda thinks you asked for Ian's help."

"I did not! I don't know if Blake is ready to get into a relationship with anyone, never mind me—and right now I'm pretty happy with you."

"Xena. I'm happy with you, too, but you know we are not forever."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"I don't want to talk about this."

I took her hands and pulled her to the bed. "Victoria, you know I think the world of you."

"Are you breaking up with me?" she said, worry coming through loud and clear in her voice.

"No, of course not—But you know next week I have to go to the gypsies. I will be spending time with Nadia. I can't have you going crazy thinking I don't care about you."

"You've been spending time with her for a while, haven't you?"

"Five years, although she's spent time with Evan as well."

"Does she think of you as her boyfriend?"

"I don't know. I think she did for a while, but now she thinks I'm married, and that she is my forbidden lover."

"You told her you were married?"

"I had to. Her parents were pushing me to ask for her hand. I told them I was married to Gina. That's why she came with me on my last trip."

"She's met Gina, and she still wants to sleep with you?"

"She has no morals. Everyone is married there with the exception of her and her brother's two boys. I live in fear that the older boy, Niko, will have his way with her."

"How old is Niko?"

"He's the same age as Blake, but he is definitely ready for an adult relationship. He is physically very mature."

"Can I go with you on the next trip?"

"I don't know if you should. You would have to be only my friend, not my lover."

"You think I can't be your friend?"

"I think if you saw the way Nadia is with me, you might lose that pretty little mind of yours."

"Would you lose your pretty little mind if I slept with Niko?"

I stopped to think about that. At least if she did, he wouldn't persue Nadia. Although—once he tasted the wine, so to speak, he might have the mind to take Nadia if he was horny.

"Well?" she persisted.

"It's not so much that I would be upset. It's more like I don't know if it would open the floodgates for Niko."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, right now, he's playing the voyeur when it comes to Nadia. If you were to take his virginity, he might go after Nadia after you leave."

"She's his aunt."

"There are only ten people in the clan, and they are all related in one way or another. It doesn't give a kid like Niko a whole lot of choices."

"Then why don't you bring him here?"

"They won't let him go until he turns eighteen. That's not until next year. Blake will be eighteen before Niko will."

"So, if I decide I want to go, you'll take me?"

I lay back on the bed and pulled her on top of me. "Maybe I don't want to give up my sweet piece of ass just yet," I said, with an evil grin.

"Oh, now my ass is sweet?"

"Honey, your ass has always been sweet." I grabbed a hold of her ass.

Victoria and I had been intimate often enough for us to be pretty comfortable with each other. She knew what to do to get me going. She got off the bed and kicked off her shoes. Then she shed her coat and tossed it on the chair. The sweater she was wearing came off next. I propped up my head on my elbow, so I could enjoy the show. She unzipped her pants and slowly peeled them off exposing her lacy panties. The ironic thing was Wanda had bought them for her before she found out that I was sleeping with Tori.

I rubbed my hard-on through my pants. Tori kneeled at my feet and pulled off my shoes. Then she got to her feet and unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans and I helped her to pull them off of me.

"Take off your shirt," she ordered.

I did as I was told. She jumped on top of me and shook her head so her was to one side and she could look at me without her hair falling into her eyes. I slid her bra strap off of her shoulder and kissed her collarbone.

"I only have two condoms," I reminded her.

"I guess we'll just have to make due then," she said in a seductive voice.

It turned out to be a very productive evening. I realized as she snuggled into my chest that I really was beginning to enjoy my time with her and the day she found another lover, I probably would be saddened to lose her.


	50. Chapter 50

**So everyone! I hope you had a most excellent Christmas! Mine was much better than my Thanksgiving. Everyone loved their gifts. The only drawback was I didn't get to write as much as I would have liked to. I was hoping to post this chapter on Christmas Eve. But on the plus side, this is a LONGGGG chapter, so I hope you enjoy it. A quick note to all of you who supported me by purchasing For the Love of Brynn in both paperback and kindle. Thank you! That, for me, is the best gift of all!**

FRIENDS AND LOVERS

11/06/2002 – Dear diary. It's been a while since I've had any time to sit down and write something. I took the time today because my porcelain doll is leaving again. Over the last month, Victoria and I have established a relationship between us that really seems to work. In everyone else's eyes, we are the best of friends. In the evenings, we hang out in the now heated funhouse, although we never really hang together. At the end of the night, I always walk her back to the cave. If we are both in the mood, we spend the night together provided Danny is still up and hanging with his friends. He's become a frequent visitor to the abandoned bed that belongs to Gina in Sarah and Megan's room. Megan is Jamie's girlfriend, but Sarah isn't with anyone. I don't know if she's got her eye on Danny or not. She is two years older than him, which isn't much once you're in your twenties, but when you're only fifteen—thirteen seems like a huge gap in ages. For now, I figure it's a safe bet that Danny's not interested in girls.

We've been working diligently on the buildings. The funhouse is done. I persuaded Victoria to paint a pretty floral mural on one wall of the funhouse for the wedding. She did a beautiful job. The bunkhouse still needs heat. We are nearly done with the plumbing. It's not fancy, but it's a hell of a lot better than the cave. I wouldn't mind taking one of the rooms for myself, but I know that it would be better to let some of the older family members and the couples have the bunkhouse. Wanda and Burns ended up purchasing a total of eight bunk beds and four queen size beds. The bunkhouse had four rooms in it. I decided the best way to split them was to put four bunk beds in room numbers one and two. The other two rooms would each have two queen size beds. We had six dressers for the bunkhouse, two for each of the rooms with the bunk beds and one each for the other two rooms. There were a total of twenty coming from the caverns for the wedding. Couples would get the bedrooms, Mel and Jared, Doc and Sharon, and Kyle and Sunny. Tom and Maggie would be moving into the bunkhouse as well, giving Burns back his room to share with Lily.

Everything seems to be on track for the wedding. Although I'm sad to lose my chance at being the guy for Wanda, I have to admit these last few weeks, Wanda and I have become close again. Our friendship has been rejuvenated, and I love the fact that she isn't afraid to talk to me or hug me. I love it when she hugs me good night after one of our marathon pool sessions. Even Ian has come to be accepting of our alliance. She's leaving today, and I'm going to miss the shit out of her. I'll be a bit worried too, considering the last time she left here, she was in the accident.

I've decided to go to the gypsies tomorrow. Tori is still insisting on coming along. I'm still undecided on whether to allow her to come. There's so much to consider. Worst case scenario, Tori decides to stay with the gypsies.

I was alone in my bed this morning; probably the reason I was able to write so much in my journal. I'd been a little on edge the last two days and Tori had picked up on it. She knew the reason why and she'd been just a bit perturbed about it. It is what it is. She'd just going to have to get over it. I can't keep kissing her ass. I have feelings, too.

I dressed and headed to the house. I needed coffee. When I entered the kitchen, it was abuzz with people trying to get breakfast before school started. Ian and Wanda were sitting at the table eating French toast. Ian looked miserable. At least he still had his parents here this time around. It was shortly after breakfast when Wanda was all packed and ready to go. She promised to return in two weeks. My one saving grace was tomorrow I'd be leaving for the gypsies. That would give me a couple of days away from here, and the memories of the time we had spent together.

Ian, Burns, and I walked her to the car. She went to Burns first.

"Thank you for coming with me this week. I had fun," she said, as she hugged Burns.

"I had fun too." He pointed to me and Ian. "Look at them. They look like their dog just got run over."

"Yeah well, you keep a close eye on those two," she instructed.

"I always do. Tell Lily I love her."

"I will do better than that. I'm going to drag her back with me when I return in two weeks."

"Too bad I won't have a bed to share with her."

"Oh! Well, you know what? If the heat is working in the second building Ian and I will sleep there, and you two can have our room. I'm not going to kick you out of your own house." She shot Ian a look. He didn't respond.

"Thanks. Love you, Sis."

"Love you, too."

Next she turned to me. I was standing beside Ian and she pulled me away from him. I placed my arms around her waist. She draped her arms around my neck. "I'll miss you. Thanks for being my friend again."

"Thanks for keeping my secrets. Friends forever, right?"

She leaned in and kissed me on the lips. It wasn't a peck. It was just a good firm kiss. "Friends forever. I'll see you in a few weeks. Be good."

I laughed as she pulled away. "Who am I going to be bad with?" She knew about me and Victoria, but she wasn't sure exactly where we stood in regards to a relationship. Wanda and I had adopted the policy of 'don't ask, don't tell.'

She turned to Ian and announced. "You, I'll miss most of all."

I couldn't bear to see the love fest between them, so I left. I had laundry to do, and I needed to mend fences with Tori. I headed back to my room to gather up my laundry.

It was unusually quiet this morning. No one was congregating in the main room of the cave. I had quite a large load of laundry to haul back to the root cellar. I stripped the blankets off the bed, so I could wash the sheets. An envelope flew from the blanket as I tore it off the bed and fell to the floor. I panicked because my first thought was that Victoria had gone through with her previous threat, and this was a good-bye letter. I tore it open and held my breath as I read it.

_Dear Nathan,_

_We haven't really talked much in the last couple of weeks because you've been spending a lot of time with Wanda in the evenings. You look so happy when you're with her. I only wish you were that happy with me. I miss you so much. I miss your gorgeous face, your tender kiss, your gentle touch. As much as it kills me, I know I have to let you go. Don't worry about me; I always land on my feet. My only hope is that one day you will find that love that you so desperately need._

_ Forever yours, _

_ Gina_

I fell back on the bed. I was still in a panic, but for a totally different reason. My heart was palpitating. I wanted to run to her, but she was right. My heart belonged to Wanda, and even though I loved Gina, I'd never do right by her. I felt sick. _Alcohol. _I needed some serious alcohol. I made my way to the root cellar and started my wash. My next stop was the house. I rooted around the kitchen and found a bottle of vodka. I thought to myself, _who would be the one person who would want to get drunk with me? _The answer was obvious. _Ian. _And where would I find him? _The ball field. _I marched out to the ball field and sure enough, Ian was out there with a bucket of balls, chuckin' them at the pitching target.

"_Hey!"_ I called out to him. Ian ignored me. "_Ian!" _Ian turned around and glared at me. "I've got vodka and there's no one here to get pissed off at you if you get shitfaced. He reached for the bottle as I approached. "Whoa! Me, first!"

"Don't tell me you need to get drunk because Wanderer left."

I took a swig. It burned going down. "Ahhh!" I handed the bottle to Ian. "While I'll admit that it hurts to see the fair Wanda go, she is not the sole reason for my need for libation."

"So what's your excuse? Did you knock up Victoria?"

"Fuck you," I snapped back.

Ian handed me back the bottle. "Here, dude. I think you need this more than me."

Ian didn't press any further for the details of my depression. We sat on the bench of the dugout and polished off the bottle. It wasn't until I was pretty inebriated that I began to talk.

"Hey, Ian?"

"Hey, what?"

"Does Wanda swallow?"

"No. Hey! That's none of your business."

"You ever have a girl that swallowed?"

"Once or twice, but that was a long time ago."

"You ever had an angel who swallowed and apologized because she let a few drops of jism fall to the floor?"

"Victoria?"

"Nah!"

"Who?"

"An angel. And I'm so fucked in the head over your fiancée, I let her go. How fucking stupid am I?"

"Pretty fucking stupid, dude."

I don't remember a whole lot after that. I seem to recall someone carrying me and someone else yelling at me. I'm pretty sure the 'yeller' was Maria.

When I woke up, I was in my bed, fully clothed, without sheets. I sat up and my head immediately began to throb. Some one was sitting in the corner with a reading light, but I couldn't make out who it was.

"Victoria?"

"She went to bed."

It was Gina! _Gina oh Gina, come to save me! _

"She's a little pissed off at you right now."

"My head is killing me."

"I had some no pain, but Victoria said you deserved to suffer."

"Why is she so pissed off? It's not like I tried to mount her or something."

"Um…actually."

"What?"

"She said she was in here laying with you, and you called her Gina and begged her not to give up on you."

"Oh, shit." At that moment, my belly churned and my stomach tightened and everything that sat in the bowels of my intestines come rushing upward. "I'm gonna be sick," I muttered.

Gina was fast. She was up and at my side, waste basket in hand, as I heaved the contents of the vodka bottle into the container. When I finished, Gina put the basket on the floor and reached to the nightstand to retrieve a damp washcloth. She wiped my face with it. "Feel better?"

I couldn't stop wondering why she was here. "Gina, where's Evan?"

"He's asleep. I told him I wouldn't abandon you. He's not happy about it, but he'll get over it." She raked her fingers through my hair pulling it back off of my face. I grabbed her wrists to make her stop. She looked deep into my eyes. "You know Victoria found the letter."

"So she knows that Wanda isn't the reason for my behavior."

Gina didn't answer. Instead she got up and put the basket near the door.

"You should go back to Evan."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"No. I'll never be okay now that I've lost you, but you deserve to be happy and if Evan is that guy…" It was wrong of me to put it like that, but I was selfish and I wanted to hear her tell me that she loved me.

"He's been really good."

"Yeah." I looked away because my heart was breaking. "I'm going to take a walk. I left my laundry in the washer."

"It's after midnight," Gina pointed out.

"Good, at least I won't run into anyone. Which reminds me; how's Ian doing?"

"The both of you were about the same. He's got his own posse at the house watching him." I stood up and the blood rushed to my head and I lost my balance. "Whoa! I think you're still feeling the effects of the alcohol. Maybe you should wait until tomorrow to deal with your laundry."

"No. In the morning someone will have their scheduled laundry time, and they'll be pissed if my laundry is clogging up the works."

"All right, then. I'll go with you."

"What about Evan?"

Her lips curled at the corners. "We're practicing this new thing. It's called trust."

I slid my feet into my workboots and Gina got on her knees to tie them for me. She was so selfless. She helped me on with my coat. "Come on. I have to get my jacket." I stood quietly at the edge of her doorway and listened to her as she woke Evan. "I'm taking Nate to the root cellar. He started his laundry, but he never finished it."

"How's he doing?" I heard Evan ask.

"He threw up. He seems okay. He hasn't reached the hangover stage yet. He's still got the alcohol in his system, and he's little wobbly."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No. You sleep."

"I love you."

"I know. I love you, too. I'll be back in a bit."

_Wow. She's really got him under control._

Gina rounded the corner carrying her coat. "Okay, let's go." She held her hand out for me to lead the way. We stepped outside the cave and a frigid wind slapped us right in the face. The ground was frozen beneath our feet, and the leaves were swirling in the wind. "Can you run?" she asked.

I nodded and held out my hand to her, and she took it. I began to jog, and she easily kept pace with me. By the time we got to the root cellar, I was wide awake and freezing.

"Wow!" She exclaimed as I slammed the door closed. "Feels like snow."

Well, it _is _November and we _are_ in the mountains." I replied as I turned on the first dryer and left the door open, so the heat would fill the room. I opened the second dryer and began to pull my clothes from the washing machine.

"Wait," she ordered as she reached out to stop me.

"What?"

"You should put them through a quick rinse, or they are going to be wrinkled."

"Ya think?"

"Yeah, my mom used to start a load, and then she'd go out and forget about it till the next day. The dryer would dry the clothes, but they'd still be wrinkled. I found if I rewashed them, I wouldn't have the wrinkle problem."

"Okay, sounds like you know what you're doing."

Gina reset the washers for the rinse cycle and poured in some fabric softener from a bottle in the corner. I must have given her a weird look because she felt the need to defend herself. "The water here is hard."

"You've been hanging out with Maria," I replied.

"Actually, it was Miranda. She's kinda been my mentor lately. She's extremely smart. Hey, you want to go up to the house and make some hot chocolate?" she suggested.

"Sure."

We snuck quietly into the house. Burns was asleep on the couch. Once we got into the kitchen, Gina once again started the conversation. "It's a lot warmer in here."

"It'll be warmer in the root cellar once the dryers have a chance to heat up the room."

Gina quickly made us each a steaming cup of hot chocolate and topped it off with marshmallows. We carefully carried our cups to the root cellar. If Burns had been wakened by our intrusion, he didn't let on. Just as I had predicted, the root cellar was much warmer when we returned. The rinse cycle was just finishing. We each took a washer and transferred the clothing to the dryers. I pulled a cot from the stack in the corner and set it against the wall. We sat next to each other and drank our cocoa.

"This is nice," I remarked.

She chuckled. "The beach at Cabo San Lucas and a drink with one of those little umbrellas would be nice."

"What do you know about Cabo San Lucas?"

"I'm not retarded. I've seen enough vacation posters to know that Mexico is gorgeous. I had the travel poster of the beach in my room when I was a kid. It was always a dream of mine to marry a wonderful guy and honeymoon somewhere tropical. Seems stupid now."

"Gina, you seem so grown up. I really like this side of you."

"I guess it's time I grew up. I'll be twenty in two weeks."

"Really? When's your birthday?"

"November twelfth."

"We should have a party for you."

Her eyes lit up. "I'd like that."

"Good."

"No alcohol though. Some of us can't hold our liquor," she teased.

"Oh and I suppose you can? Have you ever even had an alcoholic beverage?"

"Are you kidding? I used to get drunk all the time, especially when I knew Big John was back from one of his scavenger trips."

"I didn't know that."

"See? You don't know everything about me."

"How much does Evan know?"

"Nothing. He knows I wasn't a virgin, but he thinks that my past relationships were consensual. You and Holly are the only people who know the truth, and I want to keep it that way."

"Sure, I know."

We finished our cocoa, and Gina insisted on taking the cups back to the house. When she returned, I was in a semi-reclining position on the cot.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I've been better, but I suppose I inflicted this on myself."

She stroked my head. "You'll feel better once we get some clean sheets on your bed, and you get a good night's sleep."

I cradled her face in my hand. "Why are you so good to me?"

"Because you are my friend and you would be there for me—and because no matter what—I still love you."

"I want you so badly right now," I admitted.

"Miranda told me that 'want is good, but we should appreciate the things we have.' You have Victoria and I have Evan."

I felt so much pride in her strength. "You're amazing."

"Thanks. I want to be just like you."

Her remark caught me by surprise. "Why would you want to be like me?"

"Because people look up to you."

"They do?"

"Sure they do. I hear people talk. Whenever there's a problem, they always say, 'we need to check with Nate. He'll know what to do.'"

"No way."

"We even had a class on politics, and you were the main subject."

"I was?"

"Yes, and little Ben? He said, when you get too old to run this place, he wants to run for election."

I laughed. "Wow, I'm impressed."

The dryer stopped, and we began to fold the clothes. When we finished, we donned our coats. "Do you want to take one of my shirts and wrap it around your head for warmth?"

"Do you mind?"

I put the basket down and wrapped the shirt around Gina's head and tied the sleeves under her chin. "You look like a little gypsy girl."

"Are you saying I look like Nadia?"

"No, I meant you look Bohemian with that babushka on your head."

"When are you going to see them?"

"If Burns goes food shopping in the morning, then I'll be leaving tomorrow night."

"I wish I could go with you."

"Why? Do you miss your little tryst with Nadia?" I still wasn't completely sure how I felt about it, although I had to admit, I was jealous of Nadia.

"No, I miss the time I spent with you." It was the first time she had shown any real vulnerability tonight.

"She knows that I know about you and her."

"You told her?"

"We didn't just fuck you know. We talked. I told her that was the reason I had gone to jog with Claudia. I didn't want to be around when you and she were intimate."

"What did she say?"

"She was surprised. She swore she wasn't trying to steal you from me. I told her that when I first found out, we nearly broke up, and that after a lot of fighting and tears, I agreed to allow it because of her situation. I also told her that if she ever made it to the mountain, it was hands off, because I would fight her tooth and nail to keep you."

I caressed her cheek. "Would you?"

"I would if I thought that in the end, I could call you mine, but…" She had that far off look in her eyes.

"Gina, there are moments when I think to myself that I _am _yours." In my mind, I thought this would make her happy. Give her a ray of hope. Instead, she backed away from me.

"Yeah, well, moments and lifetime commitment are at different ends of the spectrum, aren't they?"

"Gina," I pleaded.

"Come on, let's go. It's late. I need to get back to Evan." She opened the door to the root cellar, and a rush of cold air blasted into the room. She held the door as I picked up my basket and stepped to the outside. It was snowing. Big flakes were falling from the sky. "First snow," Gina said quietly.

"It's a sign," I said referring to my relationship with Gina. I did _not_ want to let her go.

"Yeah, I guess it's going to be a bad winter," she said flatly.

"First snow is great!" I said with enthusiasm.

"What's so great about it? It's cold and wet, and you can't cover your tracks."

I realized she was talking about when she was on the run. I remembered back to the days before Burns when snow, for us, meant staying inside the cave. Tracks in the snow could lead a soul straight to us.

"Wait, stop."

She came to a halt while I placed the basket on the ground. I grabbed her face, and I planted one on her. She fought me at first which surprised me, but I didn't give up. I enveloped my lips over hers slowly until she reciprocated, and then I let my tongue slide into her mouth. The snowflakes were landing on her upturned face, and she looked like an angel—my angel. Suddenly, she pulled away.

"Don't."

"Why?"

"You can't just have me whenever you want. It's not fair to me. I end up falling in love with you, and you push me away. You say you don't want to have a relationship, but the truth is you do. You just want it on your terms."

She might as well have slapped me in the face, because she hit the nail right on the head. I knew what I was doing all along, but I wouldn't admit it even to myself. "Wow."

"Yeah, wow. Can we go?"

I felt wounded. Here she was watching over me, taking care of me, and then she laid this on me. We walked briskly to the cave. She walked me to my door.

"Nathan, I'll always be here for you to pick you up when you are down, and I hope I can always come to you if I need you."

"Of course you can, angel."

"You need to figure out what you want. If that's Wanda, then that means it's not me. If it's Victoria, go to her—make things right. If it's Nadia, tell her we are getting divorced."

"You know there's only one girl who can hold a candle to you." I meant it as a compliment, but as the words came out, I realized that I had just reinforced her conviction to let me go.

"Get some sleep, Nate. I'll talk to you soon."

She backed away and walked silently down the hall toward Evan's room.

_You are such an asshole. You broke her heart—again._

I went to my room and made my bed. I climbed into it and promptly passed out.

When I woke I was still sporting a dull headache. I wasn't sure if it was still night, morning, or noon because the battery on my clock died and my cell phone was missing. It's possible that I left it somewhere or that I gave it to Ian in my drunkenness. I figured the only way to find out was to get up. I needed a shower and I knew I should eat. I was still wearing my shirt from yesterday. I threw on the same pants, grabbed a clean set of clothes, and headed out. The first person I ran into was my sister, Kim.

"Good morning, sunshine. You want to share why you decided to go on a bender yesterday?"

"Not really."

"Are you better now?"

"Nope, probably worse, but I guess it's something I have to deal with. Do you know what time it is?"

"It's nine o'clock. I just dropped off Priscilla at school."

I smiled. "I like the sound of that."

"I do, too."

"I'm heading up to the house to shower and eat."

"I just came from there. I had to feed Priscilla."

"Was Ian up?"

"Not that I saw. Burns was up. He ate with the rest of us."

"What about Victoria?"

"Yeah, she was there. She and Maria were headed off to do inventory because Burns said he was going into town."

"Shit, Maria knows that's my job."

"Well, I guess you weren't able to do your job this morning."

"Well, they should be headed this way as soon as they are done inventorying the stuff in the bunkhouse."

"Great. Let me get over there."

I left Kim at the cave and rushed to the bunkhouse. My head was still throbbing, and I was cranky. I was still upset about the way I had left Gina last night. The snow from last night obviously didn't last. Today was cold but clear, and the sun was shining. I reached the bunkhouse to find Maria and Victoria rearranging the supplies that had been delegated to one of the empty rooms when the extra storeroom in the cave had been converted to a bedroom for Victoria and Danny.

I walked in and caught them by surprise. I put on my leader of the mountain attitude. "Why are you two doing my job? Just because I tied one on doesn't mean I am incapable of doing my job this morning."

Victoria was digging through a box. She dropped the items in her hand. "Fine." She lifted her chin and marched past me. I decided it best not to stop her right now. She was in a snit, and I certainly didn't feel like arguing with her right now.

Maria on the other hand was not so quick to leave. "Nathan, what is wrong with you?"

"Nothing! I wish everyone would just leave me alone!"

"You know that may work with your lovers, but that's not going to work with me," Maria shot back.

"Back off! You're not my mother," I hissed.

Maria spun around and slapped me in the face. I never saw it coming.

"Don't you _ever_ say that to me again! You think I don't know that I'm not your mother? She was my best friend, and I swore on her death bed that I would take care of you. You _don't _want to make an enemy of me."

I rubbed my face. "I'm sorry."

"You can save your weak apologies for those women who think you're all that. Your job first and foremost is to take care of all of us on this mountain. You seem to be forgetting that lately. Now, I want you to go to the gypsies and take a little vacation from here. Enjoy yourself with your little gypsy whore, and then you come back here with a new attitude and be the leader you are expected to be. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am." Maria handed me the inventory list and stormed out of the bunkhouse.

I may have been an adult, but I certainly wasn't too old to be scolded by Maria. I finished the inventory in both the bunkhouse and the storeroom in the cave before heading to the house to comprise a list of items needed to replenish the stock. I entered the kitchen, unclean, unshaven, in yesterday's clothes and met up with Ian and Burns, who both sitting in the kitchen. Ian didn't look a whole lot better than I felt.

I thought I should start with an apology. "Hey, Ian. I'm sorry I got you drunk, yesterday."

"I don't blame you. If I didn't want to drink, I would have passed. The only thing I'm pissed off about is that I missed a call from Wanderer."

"You have my phone?"

"I have it," Burns answered. "I promised Wanda I'd take care of the two of you. I didn't need her to know that the two of you got shitfaced as soon as she left."

"What _did_ you tell her?"

Burns's eyes bore into mine. "I told her you were taking a nice hot bath, and you didn't want to be disturbed, so you gave me your phone." Then he turned to Ian. "And I told her you went to bed early because you pitched yourself to exhaustion."

"Great! So, she thinks I was screwing Victoria!" I groaned.

"I never said that. What conclusion she came to I couldn't tell you," Burns replied.

"What the hell's the difference? She's not your girlfriend!" Ian added.

I was about to go off on Ian when I thought better of it. "Burns, are you going into town today for supplies? I need to go to the gypsies. I was hoping to leave tonight."

"I wasn't sure if you'd be in shape to leave tonight, plus they are calling for rain and sleet. I'll go to town, but I think you should wait until tomorrow night to go."

Generally, we tried not to travel in bad conditions. It wasn't good to push our luck out there with the souls.

"I'll keep an eye on the weather channel, and if it's going to be bad, I'll hold off for another day."

Burns left for town. Ian and I decided to go check out the house he was building for Wanda. We had a lot of work to do. We had plenty of supplies to work with, so we spent the rest of the day out of sight of the rest of the world working together to build the house. Ian and I began to erect the frame of the house. We needed the crane to erect the roof. I jogged to the house to retrieve the crane and drive it the mile and a half to the location of the house. Ian's dad came out to see why I was taking the crane. When I told him, his eyes lit up.

"I'll help!" he said enthusiastically.

He followed the crane as I drove it. Like the Pied Piper, others began to follow and before long my brother in law, Rob, and Carl joined in the building. Things moved quickly that day and we accomplished a lot.

We knocked off when the sun went down. Dinner was to be served shortly. I was determined to be the first in the shower since it had now been days since my last one. I missed dinner with the clan which I found out later didn't go over well with Maria, but I didn't care. I needed some me time.

I emerged from the bathroom as Gina and Evan entered the house carrying leftovers from the dining hall to be packed up and refrigerated.

"You missed dinner. Come on in the kitchen and I'll fix you a plate," Gina said in a sweet voice.

I followed Gina into the kitchen, and she began creating a plate as she packed up the leftovers into containers. Evan went back to the funhouse for another load.

"How are you feeling today?" she asked.

"About the same."

"You're still hungover?"

"No, I meant emotionally."

"Did you talk to Victoria?"

"No."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Aren't you leaving tonight?"

"No, they are calling for bad weather. Burns won't allow me to take the chance."

"I thought you were the leader?"

"I am, but he is my best friend, and we both have the same goal—protect our home. Going out in bad weather and taking the chance of breaking down, getting stuck, or getting into an accident due to ice or snow is an unnecessary risk. I'll see how the weather is tomorrow."

"Well, maybe you and Victoria can talk tonight then."

I leaned against the counter where she was working. "Why are you trying to push us together?"

"I'm not."

"You told me I needed to make up my mind as to what I wanted. While I like the time I spend with Victoria, she's not what I want for my life."

"Then you should tell her that."

"I have. For the most part, she maintains the friends with benefits status, but there are times when it seems that our relationship means much more to her than it does to me. That's when I fear that she could take off."

"So, you enable her."

"I suppose I do."

"And I am guilty of the same thing. I've been enabling you."

"I don't see it that way. I see two people who love each other and can't stop even though they have relationships with other people."

"Here's your dinner. Eat."

"I know you feel the same way."

Her eyes filled with tears. "Don't you get it? I don't want to feel this way. I just want to be your friend."

Evan entered the kitchen, and she turned abruptly to face the counter, so he wouldn't see her tears. She began to wash the dishes. Evan dropped the pile on the counter.

"You want me to load the dishwasher?" Evan asked.

"No, I got it. Is there any more to bring back?" she asked, still avoiding eye contact with him.

"Yeah, Rachel and Rob are getting the last of it."

"Okay. Why don't you take it easy? You don't get many days off."

He kissed her cheek. "Thanks, honey." I think he sensed her anxiety. "I'll be in the living room watching TV if you need me, okay?"

"Sure."

After that, she worked in silence while I ate. When I finished eating, she had washed about half of the dishes. I rose to bring her my plate.

"Gina, go spend some time with your boyfriend. He doesn't get many days off."

"Who's going to do all these dishes?"

"Your friend."

She turned and wrapped her arms around my chest and hugged me tightly. "I'm sorry," she croaked.

"Don't be." I kissed her forehead and sent her on her way.

Ian poked his head into the kitchen. "Let me know when you're done, I want to take a shower."

"Sure, bud."

I completed washing the dishes and headed to the gameroom. I wasn't sure if Victoria was there, and if she was, I wasn't sure what kind of reception I would be getting from her.

The clouds had moved in, and it was starting to rain lightly. There weren't a lot of people in the funhouse. Most of the poker players hadn't arrived yet. I decided to join the youngsters playing crazy eights. I had only played one hand when my phone rang. It was Wanda calling in.

"Hello, Beautiful."

"Nate! Is Ian with you? I need to talk to him right away!" She sounded out of breath.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I just had dinner with a soul from my past."

"You have a past?"

"Nate!" she whined. "I don't want to tell this story twice. Let me tell Ian and he can tell you."

"Okay, but you can at least tell me who this guy is while I look for Ian?"

"He was the healer who placed me in Melanie's host body."

I felt my chest constrict. "Did you tell him who you were?"

"I'm not insane."

"Well, that's debatable," I said, relieved that she didn't give herself away.

"Nate!"

"Okay, okay. Hold on. I think he's in the shower with Holly," I teased.

"Nate!" she shrieked.

"Okay, I'm kidding. He's not with Holly, but he _is_ in the shower. Do you want me to interrupt him?"

"Only if he's _not_ alone," she barked.

I banged on the door. "_Wanderer's on the phone!_"

Ian called for me to enter. He was in the shower although he had turned off the water.

"Here, she's babbling about spending time with her healer."

"What?'

"Just talk to her! I'll be outside."

I sat on the couch and waited anxiously for Ian to emerge from the bathroom. When he finally did, I was on him in an instant.

"What's going on?"

"She's lost her mind."

"What are you talking about?"

"She wants to tell this healer, who placed Wanderer in Melanie's body when she first arrived on this planet, that she has been removed from Mel in order to give her back her life. She wants to tell them that she is in love with me."

"Why would she do that? They'll just capture her and force her to bring them to us."

"I know right? She said she wants to write a letter to this healer and leave it at the desk with the concierge, so he can give it to the healer after she's gone."

"Concierge?"

"She's at the Hilton."

I couldn't help but smile.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything, but now that you mention it; I've been noticing a change in her lately. High heeled boots, little purple ski parkas. She likes nice things, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, she's growing up."

"Well, she is going to be your wife," I pointed out.

"Not if she spills her guts to another soul!"

"Now, let's think about this for a second. She wants to tell him that she's in love with a human. That's not such a bad thing. It proves that humans and souls can live together in harmony. If she is gone when this guy receives the letter, she should be safe, as long as she didn't tell him where she was headed."

"Yeah, but they'll also know that we know how to get a soul out of the body, and that's _not_ a good thing."

"Well, the fact that we didn't destroy her and actually put her into another host shows our compassion—and that _is_ a good thing."

"I don't like this. I say no," Ian stated emphatically.

"Let's at least see what she writes. Then we can make decision based on what she tells him."

"You're leading her on if you do that because I will never agree to this."

"You know, I lead a lot of women on. It seems to be a gift. I'm, at least, going to give her a chance." I picked up the phone and dialed Wanda.

She answered quickly. "Ian?"

"It's me, Nate."

"Where's Ian?"

"Pouting. He doesn't think you should do this, but I think if someone on the outside knew that humans and souls can live together, never mind love each other, then we are moving in the right direction. I want you to write your letter. When you're done call us back and read it to each of us, and we will make our decision then. Keep in mind, Ian loves you and wants nothing more than to protect us all, but no one more than you."

"Okay."

I hung up. "Well, now we wait. TV or pool?"

"TV. At least I won't feel like I'm fighting a losing battle," Ian moaned.

We sat and watched a detective show that had no murder or extreme violence. The cops had guns but never had to shoot them. Brandishing a weapon was enough to make the perpetrator give up. The one thing I did make notice of was the fact that a soul would need a reason to steal at all. Apparently they were drawing on old cop shows from the human days, and at the end of the show they made comments about the frivolity of theft touting it was more for sport than for the prize. Sort of like a hunter shooting a bear for sport with no intent of eating his kill. An hour had gone by, and I was bored with 'soul' TV. The phone finally rang. I answered it on the second ring.

"Hi, it's me. I wrote the letter."

"Well, go ahead and read it to me. Let me warn you, if you can't sell me with this letter, you certainly won't sell Ian."

"I know. That's why it took me so long to write it. I wanted to get it just right."

"Okay, go ahead."

"All right. Here goes. Fords Deep Water, I wish to thank you for a lovely dinner and the interesting conversation. I also wish to apologize to you for deceiving you. I told you that I was a friend of Wanderer's. That was incorrect. I _am_ Wanderer. That is how I recognized you. You may be confused because I am no longer in the original host, Melanie Stryder. I don't think of myself as a skipper. I gave Melanie back her body. She is living happily with the man she loves and is about to give birth. As for me, the humans removed me from Melanie's body at my request. I asked that they allow me to die. I went willingly under the knife expecting my life to end. Instead, I woke in the body you saw last night. The humans, one in particular refused to let me go. This man, my love, loved the soul so much that he was willing to love me in whatever form I was placed in. He did not choose the host. He stayed with my soul while others did the choosing. I was lucky to get this body or maybe he was. I can only tell you that very soon I will be his wife. I love him more deeply than anyone or anything I have ever loved in the nine planets I have been on. I hope to bear his children. So, you see, you were wrong. I wish you could see the happiness between us. Humans are violent, but they are loving, too. It is their passion for life that makes them fight so hard. It makes me fight for them, too. If I were to be captured or found out, I would rather die than take the chance of exposing them. I have seen a soul shred a brain out of fear, and I would do it if it meant saving them, if it meant saving him. When I said that I hope we will meet again, I meant it. I hope that one day we can meet face to face without the fear of retribution. I am not a sympathizer. I am one of them. I hope you will respect this letter and my wishes to keep my secret as I respect you as a compassionate healer and great thinker. With great sincerity, Wanderer.— Well, what do you think?"

"Wow. I wouldn't change a word. You've got my vote, but I'm not the one you need to convince. Good luck, sweetheart."

As I handed the phone to Ian, I remarked to him. "If this doesn't tell you how much she loves you, nothing will." I sat next to him as she read the letter to him.

After reading the letter to Ian, he replied. "I'm sorry I doubted you. That was a beautiful letter. You make me sound so…" —"I miss you so much already."

"I miss you, too, Beautiful!" I yelled out.

Ian ignored me and continued his conversation. "It's Nate. He says he misses you too."— "Nuh-uh."

I pulled the phone from Ian's hand. "Hello?"

"Nate?"

"Hey Beautiful."

"I miss you too, and I'm sending you a kiss," Wanda said in a sweet voice.

"Be safe and don't worry about this guy. I'm in control now." Ian punched me in the shoulder. "OW! He punched me."

"Are you two drunk?"

I chuckled. "No. then it would be worse!"

"Give me back the phone," Ian demanded. I handed it back to him before he punched me again. "Babydoll, I love you."—"I'm going to let you get some sleep. I love you more."

"So, it's done. Hopefully, this will the first step to letting the outside world know that annihilation is not the answer. I think I'll go to bed, so tomorrow we can get an early start on the house before I have to leave for the gypsies."

"Thanks, Nate."

"I do it for her."

"Whatever your motivation, I am still grateful."

I was grateful that I didn't run into Victoria on my way back to the cave. I climbed into my bed and fell asleep quickly.


	51. Chapter 51

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

**Well, here we are, first day of the new year and already, I'm having trouble on FanFic. I can't see my story stats. I have no idea if when I post this it will even go, but I'm going to give it a try. If you could let me know through review or PM that it posted, I would be grateful.**

REBELLION

11/08/2002 – I am in extreme pain. The pain is not physical but emotional. It is self inflicted. When I first met Gina, I have to admit that I chose to accompany her from the back of the van because Holly was definitely the prettier of the two girls, and I thought that Gina would be the girl who would need my charm. She was plain looking although she did have a nice set of jugs. I used my charisma in an effort to make her feel comfortable, and she used her obvious sexual talents to reel me in. My lust for her has never wavered since that first night in the bathroom. My lust turned to love. Maria argued that she used her circumstances to make me feel sorry for her, but in the months that have passed, she has given her love to someone else and my heart still yearns for her. She is growing up before my eyes, and she is beautiful.

Everyday, I wish that I could erase the love I feel for Wanda because Gina would be everything I need in a woman. Unfortunately, now I may be too late. She's released me from her bed and possibly her heart….and it kills me.

Wanda has left the mountain and managed to accidently run into the healer that originally placed her into Melanie's body. She apparently shared dinner and a very interesting conversation about humans and souls with this healer. She felt compelled to tell him the truth and devised a way to do so without endangering herself or those of us who depend upon her secrecy for survival. I can only hope that her efforts are fruitful.

Things with Victoria are not good at all. I'm not sure if she wants to repair this rift or let it go. At this point, I feel like I should let it go.

If the stormy weather clears today, I will be leaving for the gypsies. I usually go for a total of three days, but I think I should stay there for awhile….maybe till after the wedding.

I wanted to get out. Being in my room meant I could be cornered. I didn't want a confrontation with Victoria. I wanted the day to go by quickly and I wanted to get the hell out of Dodge. I was hoping it would be a nice day, and my trip would be a go. I dressed and headed out of the cave.

_Fuck! _It was still raining. The ground was slippery because it had fallen below thirty-two degrees overnight, and the standing puddles had frozen. Unless there was a dramatic change in the weather, it looked like I wasn't going anywhere tonight. I moved quickly to the house. Ian, Burns, Tom, and Evan were in the kitchen eating the breakfast that Victoria was preparing. _Shit. What am I supposed to do?_

I quickly decided that I should act as if nothing was wrong in front of the others. "Good morning, everyone!" I said cheerfully. I moved to Victoria and kissed her on the cheek as I would have done on any other given day. "Good morning, Xena," I said quietly.

"Nate," she said stoically, without turning around. She continued to cook the eggs she was serving to the others.

"How long before my breakfast will be ready?" I asked.

"Why? You got a hot date?" she said coldly.

"No," I said defensively. "I wanted to go watch the news to see what the weather is going to be like."

"Look out the window. It's raining and it's cold."

Ian was smiling.

I was just aggravated. "I know it's raining and it's cold, but I need to get to the gypsies. They have to be running low on supplies by now."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it," Tori snapped.

"Burn!" Ian replied.

"Shut up, Neanderthal," I growled as I exited the kitchen for the safety of the living room. I flipped on the TV and watched the news. The news was filled with reports of car accidents on the roads in the area. One death was reported due to a single car crash. Another reported story told of a six car pileup in which there were minor injuries. _Fuck, I'm not going anywhere._

Ian entered the living room and sat next to me. "You haven't called me Neanderthal in a while. Did we wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

"In case you haven't noticed, things are not good between me and Victoria right now, and I really don't feel like dealing with her and her bullshit."

"Well, I can keep you busy today, if you want. Burns, Tom, and Evan were going to install the heat in the bunkhouse. I thought if you don't mind getting wet, maybe you could help me put the roof on the house."

"You want to do that today?"

"Time is a wastin'. I've only got two weeks before she comes back. Besides we can fire up the fireplaces and make sure they work. I wouldn't want to burn the house down after I've built it."

"True. It will help dry out the place and we'll have a place to go for warmth."

"Now you're talkin'."

"Okay, but you owe me. You get to reap the benefits of her love, I get nothing."

"You'll get my love. How about that?"

"Gee, I'm getting a hard-on just thinking about it."

Ian laughed a hearty laugh. At that moment, the door to the kitchen swung open, and Victoria appeared.

"Your breakfast is ready," she announced.

"Who's breakfast?" I asked.

She shot me a dirty look and disappeared.

"She is seriously pissed at you," Ian observed.

"Yeah, well the feeling is mutual. Come on. Let's go eat."

The others were finishing up as we entered. Our plates were on the table. I poured myself a cup of coffee. Victoria began to wash the dishes.

"Aren't you going to eat?" I asked.

"I'm not hungry," she said coolly.

I shot Ian a look, and he waved me over to sit down. "Thank you for breakfast." I leaned in to kiss her cheek as she washed the pan, and she leaned away. I didn't pursue it any further. Victoria finished the dishes and stormed out.

"I thought you guys weren't a couple," Ian said breaking the silence.

"We're not really. We are friends with benefits."

"So, why is she so pissed?"

"Do you really want to hear this?"

"I don't know. Do I?"

"She's pissed because she could see my mood change as the day that Wanda was leaving drew near. She knows how I feel about Wanda. She expects me to just stop loving her."

Ian didn't reply but nodded.

"You wanted to know," I said in my defense. We finished our breakfast and washed our dishes.

We loaded the sheets of plywood needed into the back of the truck and tied it down. Ian drove carefully through the terrain leaving deep rivets in the areas that had no rock.

"You're messing up your field," I commented.

"We'll fix it in the spring."

Once we got to the house, I pulled the wood for the fireplace from the truck. Ian started the fire in one fireplace and I started a fire in the other.

We spent the morning in the rain hammering the plywood into place. We decided to take a break and warm ourselves by the fire. The roof had been completed where we sat and although there were no walls yet, the addition of the roof helped immensely.

It was obvious Ian had been thinking about my earlier tirade. "I can't blame you for loving her. In the beginning, when she was still in Melanie's body, I felt sorry for her. I mean after I got over the want to kill her. I think it was more sympathetic love, but when she was willing to give her own life for Melanie, my sympathy turned to deep respect. And then, when they put her into this body, I was a goner."

I couldn't help but think about Gina. In the beginning, my love for her was out of sympathy for her plight, but now I had a deep respect for her. She loved me and I knew it, but she refused to take the route that Victoria had taken. Instead, she moved on which only made me want her even more. As far as her body was concerned—yeah, I was a goner.

"So, you're not pissed?"

"No, I'm not happy about it, but I suppose if I were in your position, I would be hoping and praying that you fell over dead."

"Yeah, if I ever cook for you, you may not want to eat it," I joked.

He elbowed me playfully. "Let's see it we can finish the roof before lunch and then we can start on the walls."

"Aye, aye, captain. You are gonna owe me big time. Maybe a little roll in the hay with Wanda before you put a ring on her finger?"

"She's already got a ring on her finger," he snapped.

"You're not gonna push me off the roof, are you?"

"Don't tempt me," he answered.

We finished the roof in good time considering the rain had picked up. We drove back to the house for lunch. We walked in the back door and we were soaking wet. Gina was in the living room doing homework. She turned when we entered the house.

"Oh my God! You're soaked. What the hell have you been doing?"

"We were working on my gift to Wanda," Ian said proudly.

"You were outside working on that house? Are you insane? You are both going to catch your death!"

"Death might not be such a bad option," I said cheerfully.

"Don't be stupid. I never wanted to die. Even when things were at their worst, I wanted to live. You, Nathan Downey, are a fighter—just like me. I don't want to hear you talk like that even in jest!"

"Wow! I guess she told _you!_"

Gina got up and placed her hand on my face. "You're freezing! I'm going to run you a bath."

"Why? I don't have any dry clothes to put on. Don't worry about it."

"I want both of you to get in the hot tub, and I will go to your room and get some dry clothes for you."

"You better get two sets," Ian replied. "Because we are going back out."

"Are you crazy? The temperature is supposed to drop. They are calling for freezing rain," she ranted.

She marched into the bathroom and started the water. I followed her in. As she stood up and turned to me, I wrapped my arms around her waist. "I love that you still worry about me."

"Nathan, don't make more of this than it is," she said curtly.

Ian entered the bathroom. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No, that ship sailed long ago," Gina replied, as she pulled away from me. "I'll get you some clothes."

"Two sets," Ian reminded her. Ian stripped down and climbed into the tub as it filled with water.

"So you and Gina, huh?"

"Like she said, that was a long time ago. She and Evan have been a couple for a long time."

I stripped out of my clothes and climbed into the tub. Ian was staring at me.

"What?"

"I had no idea that's what you were packin'."

"Jealous, O'Shea?"

"Me? Nah!"

I smiled at him because I knew better.

Gina returned about a half hour later. She knocked on the door and opened it a few inches. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, Angel."

"Hmmm," Ian said under his breath.

"Here, I brought you two sets of clothes. Lucky for you the rain is lighter now. I'm not sure how long that will last."

"We better get moving," I suggested.

"What about lunch?" Ian pressed.

"I'll make you soup and sandwiches," Gina offered.

"That would be awesome. Thank you."

"Well, you had better not get sick, or I'm going to the gypsies again."

I smiled at her. "You want to come with?"

"I don't think Evan would approve," she said and then turned for the door.

The door closed and Ian spoke. "She's the swallower."

"What?"

"You called her angel. You said the woman you loved was an angel who swallowed."

"You're crazy," I said trying to diffuse him. "I call a lot of women angel. I call Wanda angel."

"I think you're lying."

"Whatever. It's not her."

I threw on my clothes and marched to the kitchen. Gina was putting the finishing touches on the sandwiches.

Ian and I ate quickly. I walked up to Gina just as I had to Victoria and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks, Mom."

"If I were your mom, I would ground the both of you."

Ian and I left and loaded more plywood into the truck. We drove back to the house and added wood to the fireplaces which had nearly gone out.

The afternoon passed quickly. Ian and I returned to the house just after dark. Gina was gone. Maria, Kim, and Aunt Sue were in the kitchen preparing spaghetti for dinner. Ian and I decided another bath wouldn't hurt.

"You know, people are going to think there's something going on between us," Ian pointed out.

"Well, that would be different," I admitted. "You are a good looking guy for a Neanderthal."

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or scared."

After dinner, I was relaxing on the couch. Ian decided he should do some laundry since everything was wet. He took my two sets of wet clothes with his as thanks for helping him. It was still pretty early when my phone rang. It was Wanda.

"Hey, Beautiful!"

"Hi, Nate. How are things with you and Ian?"

"They couldn't be better."

"Great. Can I talk to him?"

"Sure, is everything all right?"

"Uh huh." She didn't sound very convincing.

"Something's wrong."

"Correct."

I was up and moving to the root cellar. "You didn't get caught or anything, did you?"

"No, me and Sunny are on a road trip."

"Okaaay."

"Is Ian around or should I call back?"

"He's doing laundry. I'm almost there."

I entered the root cellar, and Ian was asleep on a cot. "Ian, wake up. Wanda's on the phone."

"I wasn't asleep," he said defensively. I handed him the phone. "Right."

The wash cycle was complete. I pulled the laundry from the washers and distributed them in the dryers as Ian spoke to Wanda on the phone.

"Hello, Babydoll?"…"I miss you more. How are things at the caverns?"…"What's wrong?"…"What did she say?"…"Why would they break up? Did Kyle cheat on her?"

_Kyle and Sunny broke up?_

"You're kidding, right?"…"Holy crap. That sucks."…His voice changed. "She's dragging you to the club."

_That's just terrific. Ian will be on edge all night._

"Are you going tonight?" There was a long pause before he spoke again. "When's the shower?"…"Everyone is good. I think we'll have heat in the second building tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed that we don't overload the circuits and lose power altogether. Dad says he's pretty sure we'll be okay, but you never know." He paused. "I miss you babe."…"The glass is half full. That's what I love about you. Well, Nate and Burns have been with me pretty much every waking moment. I feel like the only time I am alone is when I go to bed, and then I can't sleep."

I rolled my eyes since I had just found him asleep.

He chuckled. "I'll try that."…"I won't. I love you." Ian disconnected. "Kyle and Sunny broke up."

"I heard. I thought they were solid like Mel and Jared."

"It's all because he wants children and she doesn't. I didn't know Kyle even wanted children."

"Well, your parents are back and you now have a family here. It's possible he's afraid your parents will stay here on the mountain, and then he'll be without them. After all, isn't it true that your mother is closer to you?"

"Yeah, but Wanda and I are going to be spending half of the year at the caverns."

"So you say, but here you are building a house for her. Sounds like a pretty permanent residence to me."

"Shit! You think this is my fault?"

"No. I'm sure he still would have wanted children. The issue may not have come up for a while. Your impending marriage probably just pushed the issue to the forefront."

I hung with Ian for the rest of the night after we finished his laundry. We went to the funhouse and played a couple of games of pool before calling it a night. The rain had changed to freezing rain just as Gina had said it would. Morning brought no relief. The trees were hanging low from the ice that had clung to the branches. I began to sink into a depression. I really wanted to get out of here for an extended vacation, and now my time I hoped to spend with the gypsies was slowly dwindling away.

Today went very much like yesterday. Victoria was again in the kitchen cooking breakfast. She was again curt to me. Although the rain had stopped for now, it was cloudy and it would again rain before this day was over. The news was again jam packed with motor vehicle accidents, and the souls were asking everyone to stay home if at all possible.

Again, Ian and I worked on the house, while his father, Burns, and Evan worked on the bunkhouse. They were almost done with the heat. I was informed by Burns that Victoria had spent the last several days painting the walls of the bunkhouse. I wasn't sure what her motivation was. Was she doing it to be a productive member of the mountain? Was she doing it because she wanted to lay claim to one of the rooms after the wedding? Was she doing it because she wanted to make sure the wedding would not be postponed? Was she doing it in an effort to win me back? I was as bewildered as I could be.

It was near lunchtime when Wanda called. "Hey, Beautiful!"

"Nate, can I _please_ talk to Ian?"

"You know I'm starting to get just a little insulted that you never want to talk to me anymore."

"Nate, please let me talk to Ian. _Please?_"

"Okay, here he is."

"Hello?"…Ian chuckled. "I'm glad you're excited. I can't wait to see you come down the aisle, but I'm checking your bouquet first."…"I don't know. Nate's got an evil look in his eye."

I gave Ian a strange look.

"Babydoll, there is nothing that will keep me from you. You should know that by now."…"Enjoy the rest of your day, my love. Call me tonight if you can."…"I love you more." He hung up.

"What was that all about?"

"She was trying on her wedding dress and she was excited."

The rain started up again in the afternoon. We continued to put the walls up and we got pretty far in our efforts. It actually looked like a house now. I felt good about it, and Ian was practically beaming with delight.

After dinner, Ian decided to stay at the house and watch some TV. I headed to the funhouse. Victoria was playing cards with the usual crowd. Gina offered to play a game with me. It was an offer I wasn't about to pass up. Evan was playing poker with the others. Gina had been a student of mine for a while, and she knew how to play the game. It was refreshing to see her skills. We played three games. I won all three, but I had to admit she had given me a run for my money. It was a cold night. The rain had finally ended, but the ground was freezing up again. The poker game broke up early, so Evan and Gina went to bed. I went to the house to use the bathroom and headed to the cave as well. I thought I might check up on Tori and thank her for painting the bunkhouse. I was headed down the dark hallway towards Tori's room when I heard voices. I hid in the shadows where the hall made a thirty degree turn and I listened. It was Victoria and Blake.

I heard Victoria speak. "You had a good night tonight. If we were playing for money, you would have walked away with a bundle."

"I would have shared it with you. After all, you taught me a lot about the game."

There was a pause.

"Thanks for walking me to my room."

"Is it okay if I kiss you good night?"

"If you want to."

There was a long silence. I could only imagine that he was attempting his first kiss. I wasn't sure how to feel about that. I snuck back to my room and went to bed. I didn't want to dwell on what I had just seen. After all, this is what I had hoped for, right?

I was pulled from my sleep in the middle of the night by my phone. At first I thought maybe someone had dialed the wrong number because just as I was about to pull it from my pants pocket, it stopped. I climbed back into bed and pulled the covers over me and it started to ring again. I darted out of the bed and fished the phone from my discarded jeans. It was Wanda.

"Wanda? Is that you?"

"Yes, Nate."

"What time is it?"

"I don't know—three o'clock?"

"Three o'clock? Are you all right?"

"Not really. Sunny dragged me to this frat house or something after the club. I can't get her to leave. I don't know what to do."

"Let me get dressed, and I'll get Ian."

"No. Don't tell him. He'll freak out. I need your help. Tell me what I should do to get her out of here."

I could hear someone in the background talking to her.

"I'm talking to my friend on the phone," she answered.

"Who is that?"

"He lives here with Jonathan. That's who Sunny is spending time with."

This did not sound good at all. "I better wake Ian."

"No!"

"If I don't and anything at all happens to you, do you have any idea what he would do to me?"

"I shouldn't have called."

"Well, it's too late now. Let me call you back when I'm on my way."

"No!" I whispered. "Don't hang up on me. I'm scared."

"Okay, I have to put the phone down for just a minute while I get my clothes on."

"Okay."

I put the phone down and dressed as quickly as I could. My mind was moving at warp speed. She had been out to a club and now she was at a frat party. I wondered how inebriated she might be. After a minute I got back on the phone.

"Hey, Beautiful. How much have you had to drink?"

"Me, only two at the bar and one here, which was very strong, and I didn't finish it."

"What about Sunny?"

"I don't know. She's got a higher tolerance than me. I want to go home, Nate."

I detected the fear in her voice. "Has this guy on the porch done anything?"

She spoke low again. I could only assume the guy in question was close by. "No, but he is the one who made me the drink."

I was having a hard time speaking because I was at a full sprint on the way to the house. It seemed as though it was warmer than earlier, but the ground was still icy in spots. I did everything in my power not to hit the deck. I finally reached the porch steps.

"Nate, when you give Ian the phone please try to keep him calm."

"Yeah, you, too. Don't let him know you are scared. Don't use that word."

I entered the house and walked immediately to Ian's room. I didn't knock. I entered his room, and he was sprawled out on his back lightly snoring. "Ian, wake up. I have Wanda on the phone."

"Nate? Is there something wrong?"

"No. She's just caught in a situation with Sunny and she needs your advice."

He looked at the clock. "It's three o'clock!"

"I know."

Ian took the phone.

"Wanderer, it's three o'clock in the morning. Where the hell are you?"…"Wanderer, where are you?"…"I won't destroy Nate's phone," Ian said calmly…"Where. Are. You?" Ian asked very deliberately…"The college?"…"Where…exactly?" I could hear the tension in his voice. He had been sitting on the side of the bed, and now he jumped to his feet. "Are you out of your mind? Get the hell out, NOW!" The calm that Ian had earlier projected was gone. He was upset. He began to pace the floor. "Are you with someone?" It sounded like an accusation. "Let me talk to her," Ian hissed. Ian took a deep breath as he listened to her.

"Ian, try to stay calm. She needs you right now," I whispered.

He nodded his head and sat back down. "Okay, calm down. I'll try to get her to go with you, but if she doesn't, please go without her. Will you do that for me?" His voice was kind now. Ian looked up at me. "She's putting Sunny on the phone. This is Sunny's fault. Wanderer doesn't want to be there at all. She just doesn't want to abandon Sunny."

"I know. She told me she didn't feel comfortable and wanted to leave."

Ian turned his attention back to the phone. "Sunny, it's late. You had your night out. Wanderer wants to leave."… "She's not going to leave without you. I want you to do me a favor and leave before you do something you regret."…"I think you should listen to me. I'm looking out for your best interest."…"You've been drinking and your judgment isn't at it's best right now."…"What about Wanderer? Have you thought about what it would do to me if one of those guys decided he wanted a piece of her?" Ian was on his feet again. I could tell he was getting desperate. "Just say good night to your little friend and take Wanderer back to the hotel."…"She doesn't want to be there, and I don't want her there either. If the shoe was on the other foot, Wanderer wouldn't make you stay out like this"…"You _are_ going to go back to the hotel at some point, right?"…"You have to go back to the caverns."…"You're putting everyone's safety in jeopardy. If you tell the souls…"

_Shit! This is not sounding good at all._

"You can't just leave Wanderer hanging. She won't leave if you don't at least come back to the hotel and tell her of your plans and that you're all right."

There was another pause. Ian looked at me. "Fucking, Sunny. They never should have let her out of the caverns."

"She's not going back?" I asked.

Before Ian could answer me, Wanda must have relinquished the phone from Sunny. "Still here, babe."…"I just tried to reason with her. I told her that if the shoe was on the other foot, you wouldn't make her stay out like this."…"I tried to reason with her that she wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize what she has with Kyle."…"I think she's going to bolt back into soul society. I told her she had humans to protect even if she hated Kyle."…Ian's voice went very soft. "I'm so glad you didn't make that choice."

At that moment Burns entered the bedroom. "What's going on?" he asked.

I pulled him from the bedroom, so Ian could continue his conversation. I explained to Burns everything I had deciphered from the conversation.

"I heard Ian tell Wanda that he thinks that Sunny is going to defect and return to living with the souls."

"That's going to kill Kyle. I only hope he doesn't do anything stupid and take off to find her."

"I know. This is a bad situation all the way around."

We stepped back into the room.

Ian put the phone to his chest. "She's in a taxi on her way back to the hotel."

"Where's the van?" I asked.

"At the hotel. They took a taxi to the club."

"Is Sunny with her?" Burns asked.

"No. Sunny promised she would return to the hotel tomorrow, but she made no promise to return to the caverns," Ian replied.

"I can't believe all this is over a baby," I lamented.

"She doesn't like babies and she said she doesn't want to ruin her body. Jesus, I hope she doesn't change Wanderer's mind about kids," Ian lamented.

"You've talked about kids, right?" I asked.

"Yes, she wants a baby, but not right away. She wants to wait until she's a little older."

"You're okay with that, right?"

"Yeah, I want children, but not at the expense of losing her."

Ian pulled the phone back to his ear. "You're at the hotel? Good."…"What do you mean 'his' decision?" Ian said cautiously. Then he chuckled. "Yeah, I could see how you would think that. Actually Nate is still sitting here with me, and Burns got up when he heard the talking. You can thank Nate yourself." Ian handed the phone to me.

"Wanda?"

"Hey. I wanted to thank you for going to Ian tonight. As usual, you made the right decision."

"Anything for you. I just wanted to make sure you were all right. I wanted to make sure you were both all right. We can't have any fighting this close to the wedding."

"I love you Nate, you know that right?"

I wanted to say it back, but right now I knew Ian was still on edge even if he did show a calm exterior. "Friends forever."

"Forever."

"I can go back to bed, now that I know you are safe. We have a lot of work to do in the morning."

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"If I had to be woken up, I'm glad it was by you. Good night, Beautiful. Ian wants to say good night."

"Thank you, again. Good night, Nate."

Burns reached out for the phone. I relinquished it to him.

"Hello. I wanted to say good night, too," Burns said to Wanda. "I know and I'm sure he is glad that you called. I know if it was Lily, I would be worried to death. I, too, went to college. I've been to those parties."…"I understand. Sleep well, little sister. I'll see you soon."

Burns and I left Ian alone with Wanda. I went back to bed. I was tired, and Ian and I had a lot planned for the house. I had a hard time shutting off my brain, and it took me a long time to fall back to sleep.


	52. Chapter 52

**Okay, I've been incredibly busy, but I persevered and kept my writing as a priority and managed to get the chapter done before the weekend was over. Next week, I'll be out of town, so it may be Monday before you see the next chapter. It's actually harder to write when there is interaction between Nate and Wanda because I have to make sure the stories mesh at those points. It's harder than you would think.**

**Oh, one more thing, whoever Bree P. is, thank you so much for the review on Amazon on the kindle side. It was my first kindle review, and I just wanted you to know that I appreciate it.**

ANXIETY

11/10/2002 – I'm tired. After a hard day's work in the rain on the house Ian and I are building for his bride, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a phone call from said bride. It seems that Sunny and Wanda went on a little trip. It has been a long time since I've written anything about Sunny. Sunny is the soul that Kyle risked his life and everyone else's to capture and bring her to the caverns in the hopes that his beloved Jodie would return to him once Sunny was removed from the body. Unfortunately, Jodie was gone. Only her body remained. At Kyle's request Sunny, the soul, was returned to the body. In time, Kyle's heart went out to Sunny, and he fell in love. Sunny had all of Jodie's memories, so she was already in love with him. They seemed like the perfect couple—Kyle, the overgrown jock and Sunny, the former club dancer. Who could have foreseen Sunny's obsession with the perfect body? Kyle looked forward to marriage and fatherhood. Sunny was dead set against marring her body by bearing children. The riff caused them to split. Sunny dragged Wanda to Phoenix to an all night frat party and the reason for the late night phone call. Poor Wanda was in a panic because she couldn't get Sunny to leave the party, and Wanda was afraid she was in a situation she couldn't control. I carried the phone to Ian, but even he was unable to talk any sense into Sunny. He was able to talk Wanda into leaving without her, but we all fear that Sunny will disappear back into soul society putting us all in danger if she ever decides to turn on us. The worst part is even if Sunny were to keep our secret, Kyle could put us in equal danger if he goes on the run to look for her. It is a very precarious situation.

I was hoping to leave tonight for the gypsies, but I haven't had much sleep and I really can't leave until I know the outcome of this situation.

To top everything off, I came upon Victoria and Blake in what I can only assume was their first kiss.

I woke early because my mind was full of 'what ifs'. I couldn't shake the feeling that Sunny returning to soul society was a bad omen. I should be leaving for the gypsies tonight, but all things considered, I was afraid I'd come back to disaster. To top it all off, Gina's birthday was only two days away. I had promised her a birthday party. Of course the party could go off as planned without me, but I really wanted to be there to wish her a happy twentieth. The truth was I really wasn't prepared to let her go.

I met the usual crowd in the kitchen for breakfast. Victoria was the only one missing. I wondered if she and Blake sealed the deal. He may have been a virgin, but Victoria was out to prove that she didn't need me.

"Hey! Where's your girlfriend?" Carl asked.

I shot a look at Ian. "I don't know. Ian, where is my girlfriend?"

"I don't know, buddy. I hope she's lying in a bed next to Sunny, and they are going to head back to the caverns." The fact that Ian was willing to call Wanda my girlfriend only added to the seriousness of the situation.

"He was talking about Victoria," Rob replied.

"I guess she slept in today. I'll make breakfast. How about bagels?"

The guys agreed to bagels. It wasn't raining today. Evan and Rob agreed to come along with me and Ian to work on the house while Burns and Tom and Carl continued to work on the bunkhouse. Today they were hoping to get the heat up and running, and then they were going to work on the plumbing in the bathroom. I let Ian hang onto my phone since we were hoping Wanda would call with some good news. It was early afternoon. We were getting ready to break for lunch when she called. As soon as I heard the phone ring, I dropped what I was doing, so I could listen in on the conversation.

"That's not good if they've already slept together."…"That's encouraging."…"Well, you could wake her up."…"Babydoll, you can't wait all day for her to wake up."…"Fine. I'm not going to argue with you. Call me when you have some kind of news."…"I am, but I'm not mad at you. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I'm just tired."…"No. You were right to call me. Look, we are all tired. We are going to see if we can just get through the day and try to get to bed early. I'd like to know you are home safe."…"That's perfect, Babydoll. What are you going to do till then?"…"All right, I love you." Ian disconnected. He sighed. "Well, Sunny's at the hotel, but she brought her little friend with her, and they are sleeping in separate beds. Wanderer doesn't want to wake her, so she's going to hang out and watch TV until they wake up."

"At least she came to the hotel. That's a good sign, right?"

"I don't know, Nate."

We left the site and headed to the funhouse for lunch. Gina was busy chattering away with Holly and Megan. Her birthday was the day after tomorrow. I needed to talk to Burns, Maria, and Holly. Maria was serving lunch. I thought it might be a good time to pull her away.

"Maria, can I speak to you outside for a minute?"

"Sure, Nathan. What's on your mind?"

I grabbed her coat and held it for her as she slid into it.

I approached the table and turned my attention to Holly. "Holly, I need to speak with you about something important. Can you take a walk with me and Maria?" As we walked in the woods just outside the building, I informed them of my plans.

"The day after tomorrow is Gina's twentieth birthday. I want to give her a birthday party and I need your help because I won't be here. It's not a surprise party. I promised her I would give her this party. She was really excited. Maria, I was wondering if you could bake a birthday cake and take charge of cooking her a nice dinner. Something she likes."

"What does she like?"

"Well, I remember her telling me that she loves Italian food."

"With a name like Gina Vanelli, she should," Holly pointed out.

"Her last name is Vanelli? I never knew that. That's pretty."

"She hates it. She said when she was a kid the boys used to call her plain vanilla."

"Oh."

"Yeah, and whatever you do, don't make a vanilla cake. She likes chocolate," Holly added.

"No, she likes chocolate chip mint. I know that for a fact. Can you make a chocolate chip mint cake?"

"I can make a chocolate cake and frost it with mint frosting," Maria suggested.

"That's perfect. Holly, I wanted to know if you could be in charge of the decorations and maybe the music. Gina told me that she loves Mexico. She said when she was growing up she had a poster of Cancun in her room and she used to dream about getting married and going on honeymoon there."

"You want me to turn the schoolhouse into a Caribbean getaway?" Holly surmised.

"Can you do that?"

"Not without Burns."

"I promise you he'll be at your disposal. You get me a list of everything you need and tomorrow I'll send him to town."

"When are you leaving?" Maria asked.

"I should have left three days ago. I would have been back in time, but the weather held me here."

"You could leave tonight and come back tomorrow night," she suggested.

"I could; only I was up half of the night when Wanda called because she was in a pickle. Then I couldn't go back to sleep. Ian, Burns, and I are all tired."

"What happened?"

"It seems Sunny and Kyle have broken up, and Sunny dragged Wanda to a club and then a frat party, and now Sunny doesn't want to return to the caverns. She wants to go back to living with the souls."

"What if she turns on us?" Maria asked.

"She insists that she won't, but I guess you can see why none of us could fall back to sleep. There's no way I could leave tonight, but even if I did, I'd never make it back on time."

"Yeah, I bet Nadia is chomping at the bit waiting for you."

I shot Maria a look, since Holly was not privy to my sexual escapades with Nadia.

"We better get back before Gina suspects what we are doing out here."

"I thought it wasn't a surprise," Holly reminded me.

"It's not really, but she doesn't need to know just how much we are putting into her party. That's the part that will be the surprise."

After lunch I went to check on the progress of the bunkhouse. I was pleasantly surprised. With the exception of the bathroom, carpeting, and painting, the bunkhouse was open for business. They had heat. I found Victoria in one of the rooms painting.

"Hey," I said cautiously.

"Hey," she responded.

"I didn't see you at breakfast this morning. The guys were complaining that you weren't there."

"Sorry. I slept in," she said without turning around to face me.

"Victoria, we need to talk."

"We _are_ talking."

"You know what I mean. We need to talk about us."

"According to you, there _is_ no us."

"I never said that. I said I would never kick you out of my bed. I said you would be the one to end it."

She continued to paint. The room fell silent as I watched her.

"Would you like some help?" I offered.

"That's up to you," she said dryly.

"You have anymore brushes?"

"They're in the other room."

I retrieved a brush and was about to dip it when Victoria stopped me. "Are you going to paint trim or use the roller?"

"What do you want me to do?"

She stepped back and looked at me hard. Then she drew in a deep sigh. "I'll paint the trim. You roll."

"Sure, I can do that although I like trim." I flashed an evil smile when I said it.

"You're so stupid," she said sarcastically as she shook her head.

We painted in silence for a while before I decided to go on a fact finding mission.

"So, I'm leaving tomorrow night for the gypsies."

"I'm sure they are desperate for supplies."

"Did you still want to come along?"

"No," she said abruptly.

I waited a minute to see if she would say anything else. She didn't.

"Yeah, I guess things are heating up between you and Blake. Wouldn't want to interfere with that."

She stopped painting. "What you talking about? Did he say something?"

"No. I kinda saw him kiss you last night, and then you didn't make breakfast this morning."

"Were you spying on me?"

"No. I was on my way to talk to you about our situation, and I accidently came upon you."

At that moment, Burns poked his head into the room. "Hey, Nate. Holly just came to me said she's getting the list together, but she wants to talk about it first. What is she talking about?"

I chuckled. "I was on my way to talk to you about that when I ran into Tori. I ended up helping her. It's better than working in the cold, and the view isn't bad either."

"That still doesn't explain what she was talking about."

"She's in charge of planning Gina's birthday party. Gina turns twenty the day after tomorrow."

Victoria spun around. "You're not going to be here."

"No."

"You're ditching Gina for Nadia on her birthday?" She sounded almost happy about it.

"What am I supposed to do? The only other person who can get there is Evan. He's not going to miss his girlfriend's birthday."

I put my roller down. I wanted to cry. I didn't say anything. I just walked out. I headed for the woods. Victoria came running up behind me.

"Nate, I'm sorry. I know you're hurting."

"You know, I've treated you badly and I'm sorry. I've head my head up my ass when it comes to Wanda and Gina. I put you last, and that was unfair of me. You should pursue this thing with Blake."

"Blake is sweet, and one day we may have something special, but right now I think you still need me."

"I think I need a lobotomy."

"So, were you jealous?"

"When you kissed Blake?"

"Well, he kissed me, but yes, were you jealous?"

"I was. I knew I shouldn't be, bit I was. How was it?"

"It was good."

"It was good? There should have been fireworks."

"I don't think he's ever kissed a girl before."

I smiled. "If I never kissed a girl before, I'd be pretty happy if my first kiss was with you."

"I had to slip him the tongue."

I burst out laughing. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For making me laugh. This has been kind of a rough day. You want to take a walk to see the house that Ian is building for Wanda?"

"Sure. I could use a little break."

I reached out for her hand and she gave it to me willingly.

We arrived at the house, and the outer walls were all in place. They were working on the inner walls.

Ian looked up and saw Victoria. "Where the hell have you been, Nate?"

"I was painting with Victoria."

"Is that what they call it these days?"

Ian was struggling, trying to hold a piece of sheetrock in place while he hammered it. I ran over to help. It took a few minutes, and the sheetrock was secure. Ian straitened up when he was finished. "All I know is if I get near a bed I'm going to fall in it and pass out."

"I hear ya," I confirmed.

"I'm gonna go back and finish painting," Victoria announced.

"Can you paint without Nate?" Ian teased.

"Shut up. You're such a jerk."

Ian nudged. "She's still cranky. You better hit it again."

"Ian, stop picking on her or she won't make you any more breakfast."

Ian and I lost momentum as the afternoon wore on. We were both pretty much exhausted by the end of the workday. I ate, showered, and headed for bed. I left my phone with Ian. I figured if anything dire happened, he would wake me.

I woke early and I felt refreshed. I wanted to get a jump on the day. I needed to find out if Wanda had called. I hoped she did. I needed to inform Gina that I wouldn't be here for her birthday. I wasn't looking forward to that—and I thought I might begin to repair my friendship with Tori by helping her cook breakfast, provided she was in the kitchen this morning. I also needed to talk to Burns before he left for town and add to his list the things I wanted to bring to the gypsies. I knew Ian wanted me to help him finish putting in the electricity throughout the house. Up to now, we had only done the bedroom. Ian wanted to make sure that he at least had the bedroom and the bath completed, so he could 'honeymoon' with her in the house. It was doubtful at this point whether or not heat would be installed in time. The fireplace in the bedroom was an awesome touch, and it would be practical, too.

I jogged up to the house. The early morning sun felt good. It was a chilly morning, but warmer than it had been in days past. The house was still quiet. _Bathroom first, Ian's door second_. I knocked softly on the bedroom door.

"Yep," he called from inside.

"It's Nate."

"Come on in."

I entered, and Ian was just rolling out of bed. "Did you hear from Wanda?"

"I did. She's back at the caverns. Unfortunately, Sunny didn't go with her. Wanda now has the unpleasant duty of telling my brother that his girl abandoned him."

"Shit. I hope you told her not to do it alone."

"I did. My fear is that he'll want revenge."

"Revenge?"

"Wanda wants children."

I thought about the closeness between Wanda and Kyle that I myself had witnessed many times. "She loves you, Ian. You have nothing to worry about. My fear is Kyle will take off to find Sunny and that would be bad thing."

"I know. My brother is a loose cannon."

"Must be an O'Shea trait. I wonder what your father was like as a young man."

Ian smiled. "I don't know. Maybe one day I should sit down and ask him."

"So, when do you expect to hear from Wanda again?"

"I'm hoping she'll call me today."

"I'm leaving tonight for the gypsies. I'll need to take my phone."

Ian reached over to the nightstand and handed me my phone.

"I'll meet you in the kitchen. I have a few things I need to do today, but I'll be over to the house to help you with the electrical as soon as I'm finished."

"Sure."

I entered the kitchen and Tori was washing up the dishes left in the sink from the night before. The coffee was already brewing. I walked up behind her, placed my hands around her waist, and nuzzled into her neck. "Did you miss me last night?"

"Maybe I did, or maybe Blake made me forget all about you."

"Ouch."

"What are you doing here so early?"

"Can't I come and help my favorite lady friend make breakfast?"

"Sounds like maybe you're the one who missed me."

"So, am I allowed to make a pass at you, or is that reserved for Blake now?"

"Just because he kissed me good night two nights in a row does not make us a couple."

"Ahhh! He kissed you again last night?"

"Yes, and this time he didn't ask. He just did it."

"Maybe I should kiss you in front of him and show him how it's really done."

"Nate, don't you dare deflate his ego!"

"But you have no problem deflating mine."

"First of all, I have never deflated your ego and second of all, your ego is so huge I don't think it can be deflated."

"It's all smoke and mirrors, my dear."

"Are you going to help me with breakfast or are you going to seduce me?"

"I'm up for either. What's your preference?"

Victoria bent over to retrieve a frying pan from under the counter. I focused on her magnificent ass. "Mm, mmm."

"Stop that!"

At that moment Ian sauntered into the kitchen. "Coffee ready?" he asked.

"Just for you, lord and master," I teased.

"You're so stupid," Ian replied.

Victoria burst out laughing. "You took my line."

"Sure, everyone gang up on poor Nate," I moaned.

They both laughed and I laughed with them. Burns entered the room. "What's so funny?"

"We're laughing because poor Nate has such a hard life."

Burns wasn't laughing. "Actually, he does. He carries the weight of every one of us on his shoulders. I bet right now he's plotting what to do if Kyle decides to take off and find Sunny."

Everyone got quiet.

"Now, we are not going to worry about that. It hasn't happened, and I'm hoping Wanda and Jeb will be able to talk some sense into Kyle."

"See, he's still trying to remain positive," Burns pointed out.

"Burns, can I talk to you in the living room?"

"Sure."

Burns followed me into the living room.

"You know, I never cease to be amazed at how good of a friend you are to me."

"Nate, you're like a brother to me. I couldn't do what you do. I'm fine with taking orders and running errands, but you—you make a decision to bring new life onto this mountain. You swallow your pride after Ian nearly kills you and you work side by side with him to give his bride the ultimate gift."

"Well, I'll admit I did it for the good of the family, but I have a selfish reason, too. If they stay, I can be near her."

"If they stay, you can watch Ian and Wanda have a happy life. Where's your happy life, Nate?"

"It makes me happy to see others happy, and that's the reason I called you out here. Gina's birthday is tomorrow. I want her to have the ultimate party."

"You still love her, too."

"I do, and that's why it's important to me that you get everything she needs for a perfect party. I put Maria in charge of food."

"Yeah, I know. She already got to me. Seems she's planning on making Manicotti and Chicken Parmesan, and she said she's making a cake. I've got everything she needs on this list." He pulled a list from his pocket.

"Good. I also want the funhouse to be transformed into a tropical island paradise."

"Yeah, last night Holly tracked me down, and she gave me this." He pulled another paper from his pocket.

I read the list. It said: Posters of Beaches, grass skirts (for decorations) - about a dozen, anything grasslike, coconuts, leis, tropical flowers, bags of sand, shells.

"She said I should look in craft stores, and she said back in the day, Dollar stores used to have these things. We don't have anything called 'Dollar stores' anymore."

"Try Party City. They used to have everything."

"Yeah, I know where that is. You know if you want sand, I could get enough to cover the entire floor."

"That would be friggin' awesome!"

"Okay, boss. I'll visit the cement quarry and load the truck up with sand. When we're done with it, we can make a pile of it and use it as needed."

"It's gonna suck missing this party. I would give anything to see the look on her face."

"You don't have to miss it."

"The gypsies have gone without a delivery for six weeks now."

"They've gone eight."

"True, but Klaudia is pregnant."

"So what are you going to do? Deliver the baby?"

I laughed. "That's something I haven't done yet."

We went back to the kitchen. Tori was serving up the first pan full of eggs and bacon to Ian and his father, who had gotten up while we were talking. I immediately went to the toaster and began to butter the toast. After breakfast, I kissed Tori on the cheek and left with Ian to the job site. We worked together on the house.

At lunch, I saw Gina, and she was in a good mood. It was revealed by the conversation that she had taken an English test on a book they had been reading. She had gotten a one hundred and she was proud. None of the others had done as well. I hated the idea of telling her I was leaving, but I knew I had to. I waited until lunch was over, and the others headed back to work. I watched Gina kiss Evan good-bye and then approached her.

"Hey, angel. Congratulations on the 'A'."

"Thanks. I've decided that I really want to be a teacher once I've finished school."

"You think Max and Miranda would be willing give up their schoolhouse?"

"I think they'll be willing to share."

"And who are you going to teach? Most of you are already in high school."

"Well see, that's where the scheming comes in."

"Scheming?"

"I can't have a baby, but Kim can and so can Rachel. Melanie is already pregnant. Lily could get pregnant, too."

"You forget Wanda."

"I didn't forget. I just didn't want to hurt your feelings."

I forced a smile. "Sweetheart, I have some to tell you something."

"What?"

"I'm leaving for the gypsies tonight."

"You are?"

"Yes, and I know I promised you a birthday party and I am going to keep that promise. I have people in place that I know will do everything in their power to give you a perfect party."

"But you won't be here?"

"No, sweetheart. I'm sorry. I have to go to the gypsies." I could see her eyes begin to tear up. "I should have gone days ago, but the weather and now this thing with Sunny kept me here."

"Sure. I understand," she croaked.

I took her hands in mine. "I'm going to have Burns get you something really special from me for your birthday."

She forced a smile. "Thank you. That's really sweet. I'm grateful for everything you've done for me."

"You know I would be here if I could, right?"

"Of course."

I was feeling like shit, and she was smiling at me through the tears she was trying desperately to hold back. I pulled her into my arms and held her tight. I felt her body hitch, and the waterworks began. I held her while she cried.

"I'm sorry, Nathan. I'm just being selfish. I wanted you to be here for my birthday."

"I wanted to be here for you."

"You could call me on Burns's phone."

I stared into her eyes. "I could do that." I brushed my fingers across her cheek. "You are growing into such a beautiful woman."

She blushed. "You should go. The guys are waiting." She turned to walk away, and I couldn't stop my self. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to me. It had been a while since I kissed Gina. I plunged my fingers through her hair and held the back of her head, so she couldn't pull away and I laid one on her. It was the kind of kiss that should have led to sex. I didn't hold back. I tasted her sweetness and committed every second to memory. It was a kiss I would not soon forget, and I hoped she wouldn't either. When I released her, I whispered, "Happy Birthday."

"Oh, hell," she replied and she kissed me. It was a repeat of the first kiss. I thought at any moment I would drag her back to my room and have my way with her.

"I want you, Gina."

"I want you, too, but…"

_Shot down_.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"I'm doing everything I can to remain strong right now."

"I understand."

"I'll miss you tomorrow. When I blow out my candles, I'll be thinking of you."

"I love you, angel."

"I love you, too."

She turned and walked away.

"Gina!" I called out.

She turned to face me.

"I'm leaving tonight at nine if you want to see me off."

"Okay."

I called Burns. He was on the road getting the supplies for the party.

"Hey, Nate."

"Hey. I need you to do me one more favor."

"Condoms?"

"Actually I do need them, but that's not why I called. I was wondering if you could get a gift for Gina for me."

"Sure, I've had a few people including Evan ask me to get things for her."

"What is Evan getting for her?"

"He asked me to get her a necklace with a heart on it. He said it didn't need to be a locket, just something with a heart."

"I see. A bracelet. Get her a nice bracelet. Something with gemstones or diamonds. That's it. Get her a diamond tennis bracelet."

"You want it to be nicer than what I get her from Evan?"

"You know it."

"I'll do my best, boss."

"Thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you."

At least she'd have a nice gift from me. I wanted to feel better, but I really didn't. I felt sad.

At the worksite, I asked Ian if he had heard form Wanda. He said he hadn't, but he didn't expect to until tonight. I hoped she would call before I left. Even with all the craziness that had gone on here in the last few days, I still hadn't forgotten my porcelain doll. I hadn't elaborated to Ian that as much as he feared Kyle would try to bed Wanda, my fear was that he would lose it and blame her for not convincing Sunny to return and possibly turn violent. After all, Kyle had a temper equal to Ian's and Ian tried to kill Wanda how many times?

Burns returned just before dinner. The truck was packed full of decorations and gifts for the birthday girl. I asked him to show me the bracelet. He produced the diamond tennis bracelet. It was stunning. I hoped she would love it. After dinner I showered and packed my bag. I returned to the house where Ian was waiting for me. He helped me packed up all the items I was taking with me. We were in the middle of packing the cooler when my phone rang.

"Hello, Beautiful."

"Hi—Nate." She sounded tense.

"Oh, you don't sound good."

"I'm okay, I'm just aggravated. Can I speak to Ian? Burns said you were together."

"Sure, he's right here." I handed Ian the phone.

"Hey, Babydoll. Still love me?"…"How did things go with Kyle?"…There was a long pause. She obviously had a lot to say. "Babydoll, this is not your fight. Leave him be. If he wants to call her he'll have to come to you. Give him a few days. The loneliness will wear on him. Think about how it was when we were apart after the first trip to the mountain. The first day was the easiest. It got harder with every day after that. It took you six weeks to come back and stake your claim."

_It took six weeks because I dragged her ass back to you. That was probably my biggest mistake. _

"I remind myself all the time. It's one of the ways I keep my jealousy in check. That reminds me, it's one day closer to when we can be together."…"Who are you going to bring?"…"What about Mel and Jared?"…"Good point." …"It's a surprise."…"No questions now. Let's just say it's keeping us both busy."…"Listen, try not to judge Kyle."…"Are you going to take Ice on a road trip?"…"Without Sunny, who will shop for them? Only you and Burns are left."

I hadn't even thought about that. If they couldn't turn out Ice, then between Burns and Wanderer, one of them would have to be at their disposal. It would be just like me going to the gypsies.

"If he kidnaps her, she might just leave again. She knows her way around the caverns. The only way to protect the family will be to remove her from the host and send her to another planet," Ian pointed out to her. _Damn! Ian really though this through! Jeb would have no choice if she didn't come back willingly._

"It's not our decision."…"Don't cry, my love. Pray. And don't tell Kyle what we have discussed here."…"That's because you're going through a crisis. I would say to try not to think about it, but I know that's an impossibility. Talk to Jeb. You should get Ice out into society as soon as possible and you should get him a cell phone as well."…"I am so in love with you. Oh, I dreamt of you last night. It was a nice dream."…"Nate's here. I can't really talk about it."…"Uh-huh."…"For what?"…"You always make me smile." Ian disconnected and handed me back my phone.

"Why didn't you tell me what you thinking about Ice and the fact that if they have to drag Sunny back they will have to remove her from the body?"

"Because I was hoping she'd change her mind and come back on her own. The thought of having to send Sunny away doesn't sit well with me. I was hoping she'd be my sister-in-law one day."

"Do you think Ice can be turned out into society?"

"Well, he's been pretty damn loyal. There were times when he was here that he could have gotten away. It's not that far to town. He could have turned us in a long time ago. Besides, I hear he and Heidi have been pretty cozy."

"True. Well, I guess now that I have the latest update on the situation, I should get going. Let's get the last of the stuff in the van."

We carried the cooler to the van, and Gina was standing there waiting. I smiled as soon as I saw her.

"Hi," she said meekly.

"Hi. I'm glad you came."

"I wanted to wish you a safe trip, and don't forget to say hello to everyone."

"I will."

She stepped forward and hugged me. I pulled her tight to me and held on for a long time.

"I hope you have a special birthday. We had Burns running all over the place for you."

"That's sweet. I'm sure I'll love whatever they've done."

Ian was still standing by, so I kissed Gina on the cheek. "Bye."

I climbed into the van and waved good-bye to the two of them. I drove into the night on autopilot. I was too busy thinking about all the things that Ian had brought to my attention. I reasoned that the fact that Kyle didn't try to run off and find her meant that he had no intention on doing so—at least for now. As the minutes ticked by, I thought about Gina and her party and how she would be so happy when she saw her island paradise. I would give anything to see her face.

The further I traveled the more I considered turning around. After an hour and a half, I gave into my urges. I chucked a U-turn and headed for home. The gypsies would just have to wait one more day.


	53. Chapter 53

**Sorry about the delay. I've been busy. Imagine that. I wanted to take a moment and welcome back JasmineDragon22. Good to have you back in the fold. I'd also like to thank a few people who added Nate's Diary to their list of Favs…pebbs96, b1ack-candy, Wadjett (glad to see you back as well), and XoxochloejayneoxoX. It's good to hear from each of you. I look forward to more of your thoughts and feelings on the story. **

**One more thing. It turns out that as of 12/31/2011, I sold 100 books! Yay! Thank you to all of you who have supported my writing. I promise to get the next book out soon! BY Easter. (Easter's in April, right?)**

MY ANGEL

11/12/02 – It has been an interesting day, to say the least. I should be on my way to the gypsies. And I was; only my conscience forced me to turn around and abort my mission. You see, tomorrow is Gina's birthday. Well, actually, it's today. It is after midnight, but I can't sleep. That's why I'm taking the opportunity to write this down. I guess I should recap the three ladies in my life.

I'll start with Wanda, the unobtainable. She was unable to convince Sunny to return to the caverns, which left Wanda the unpleasant task of telling Kyle. Ian and I were both afraid of the end result. I feared Kyle would become violent like Ian and take out his anger on Wanda. Ian was afraid that Kyle would take off to find his lady love.

Our fears were both laid to rest when we learned that Kyle took the news about as best as we could hope for, and although he was depressed, he has not expressed a desire to go after her.

Ian pointed out that Jeb may send Jared out to get her, and if she is brought back by force, her soul body may have to be extracted from the host and sent to another planet in order to protect the families in the caverns and the mountain. That would likely destroy Kyle, and the rest of us wouldn't be too happy either.

On the Tori front, she is being romanced by Blake. I have to admit, it's a rather innocent high school-like beginning. Blake is a virgin, so his idea of seduction isn't quite up to par with my expectations. From what Tori has told me, Blake is only at the 'good night kiss' stage. She seems to be okay with that. My relationship with her is on hold. I'm not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, I am relieved because she's not pushing anymore. On the other hand, she was my sexual partner and the one constant in my life. I'll get over it…eventually.

Then there's Gina…sweet Gina. She's become such a lady. Lately, she's been there for me as a constant support, but she's made it quite clear that she and Evan are a couple, and she intends to make the relationship work. I'm happy for her, but letting go, for me, is difficult, if not impossible. I promised her a birthday party. I thought I'd have gone to the gypsies and returned before her big day, but unfortunately, between inclement weather and the Sunny situation, it never happened. That is why I found myself in route to the gypsies last night. I had instructed a team of people to create a beautiful Caribbean themed party complete with a sandy beach, and I was going to miss it. I wouldn't get to see her open the diamond tennis bracelet I had Burn's pick up for her. Maybe I was being delusional, but I think she would be terribly disappointed if I wasn't there. Maybe, I'm just being selfish.

Right now, I need sleep.

I was awakened by a knock on the door. My heart sped up in the hopes that it was Gina.

"Come in!" I said as I reached to turn on the light.

The door opened and in stepped Burns. "Nate, what are you doing back? Did something go wrong?"

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't not be here for Gina."

"Nate, why don't you just admit it? You love her."

"This is between you and me, okay? If anyone asks, I'm going to tell them that the van was acting up and I was afraid I'd break down and get caught, so I came back."

"Why? Why don't you just tell her you love her and you want her?"

"Because she deserves better than me. Wanda is still stuck in my head and my heart. Evan can give her one hundred percent. I can't. It's just better this way."

"Then you should have gone to the gypsies."

"I want to see her enjoy her birthday. Does she know I'm back?"

"I don't know. It's still early. I left my clothes in the dryer last night, so this morning I went out to retrieve them. That's when I saw the van. What time did you get in?"

"It was a little after midnight."

"Well, she's got school this morning, so I would imagine she'd be getting up soon."

"Unless she skips for her birthday."

"That's right. She doesn't have to go today."

"Is Evan going to work?"

"He didn't say that he wasn't, but who knows."

"Maybe I'll bring her breakfast in bed."

"Nate, I thought you were going to respect the fact that she and Evan are a couple."

"It's just breakfast," I said innocently.

Burns cocked an eyebrow.

"Hey, it's her birthday. Totally her call."

"Don't ruin her relationship with Evan unless you intend to be that guy for her."

"Right, I know."

I accompanied Burns back to the house. I took a shower and primped in the bathroom. I wanted to look my best when I saw her. I entered the kitchen, and the usual guys were assembled waiting on Victoria to make them breakfast. They were all surprised to see me, Victoria included. The only person missing was Evan.

"What are you doing back?" Ian asked.

"The van was acting up. The engine light went on, and she backfired on me a few times. Burns said he'll take it into town and see what the problem is. I'll just take the truck tonight instead."

I walked over to Victoria and kissed her on the cheek. "Good morning, gorgeous."

"Good morning, Nate."

"I see you didn't sleep in." That was code for 'Blake didn't lose his virginity last night.'

"Nope. I got plenty of sleep last night. I have a lot to do today."

"Really?"

"Apparently, Burns has me on gift wrapping detail."

That meant she would know that I had gotten Gina a tennis bracelet.

"Tell you what. When it's your birthday, I'll be in charge of wrapping your gifts."

"You don't even know when my birthday is."

"So, why don't you tell me? As a matter of fact, I think I am going to issue a new edict. Starting today, I will find out when everyone's birthday is and from now on, no one's birthday will pass by without a party and gifts." I turned Victoria around and wrapped my arms around her waist. "I'm still allowed to do this, right?"

"Nate."

"Just tell me to go away and I will."

Evan entered the kitchen in the middle of my intimate exchange with Victoria. It was perfect timing because he would assume that I was still seeing her.

"Nate what are you doing back here?"

I ignored him and focused my attention on Victoria. "So, when is your birthday?"

"New Year's day."

"You're shittin' me."

"Hey, if you don't want to believe me, that's fine. I won't have a birthday," she said defiantly.

"It's not that. I just pictured you as more of a Leo."

"Sorry."

I smiled at her. "Well, I guess we are going to have one hell of a New Year's celebration this year."

"Can I get back to making the pancakes?"

"Sure whatever…" I released her and stood there looking dejected.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I just thought you'd be happier to see me this morning. I guess I'm not that important to you anymore," I sighed for effect.

"Nate, you're so stupid." She grabbed my face and kissed me on the lips. It wasn't particularly romantic. It was just a nice _friendly_ kiss. "There. Is that better?"

"Much. Can I help you with anything?"

"No, I got it. Thanks."

With that, I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat with the rest of the guys. Most of them were already finished with breakfast. Evan had gotten his answer as to why I was back from Ian. I sat down next to Burns.

"I think it needs either new spark plugs or new wires. I remember my mom had the same trouble when I was in high school. She was in a panic thinking the engine was going to blow up, and it turned out to be one of the wires was cracked and she was getting interrupted flow or something from the spark plug," The story was true and it helped pound the lie home. I turned my attention to Evan. "Hey, Evan. Is Gina going to school today?"

"Nope, she's sleeping in. We were up late last night," he said with an evil grin.

My stomach tightened at the thought of Gina and Evan having a wild night of sex. "So, you think she'd mind if I brought her some breakfast?"

"I'd mind. She's not dressed."

"Well, I'm sure she'd throw something on before she answered the door."

"We don't have a door, remember? You're the one with a door."

Victoria placed plates of pancakes in front of Burns and Evan.

I smiled at him. "Well, when is your birthday? Maybe I can build you a door."

"It's not as if the entrance to my room is square."

"Neither is mine. My doorway is more circular than yours, and yet I managed to create a door to the specific shape I needed. I could do the same for you."

Ian spoke up. "So, Evan, are you with me today?"

"Sure, I can help you finish wiring the electricity in the house."

Ian looked at me. "What about you, loverboy?"

"I'll be there after a bit." I looked directly at Evan. "I still want to let Gina know I'm back and I need to check in with Maria and Holly on the party arrangements."

"You just keep your dick in your pants, dude."

Ian burst out laughing.

"I'm not going to seduce your girlfriend." _Maybe._ "Besides, it's not like I never let you seduce my girlfriend."

Tori spun around. "I don't even like Evan!"

I chuckled. "Well, Xena, good to know you still think of me as your boyfriend, but I was talking about Nadia."

"This just gets better and better," Ian roared.

"Hey! He'd bed your fiancée in a heartbeat," Evan reminded him.

"I'd give him a beating he wouldn't soon forget," Ian barked.

"Whoa! Let me make things perfectly clear," I said as I stood at the head of the table. "I have never raped a woman in my life. Any woman I have seduced wanted to be with me. You got that, _Evan?_" I now turned to Ian and grinned. "It's nice to know you'd let me live. It's a step in the right direction for you."

"Yeah, but I didn't say you wouldn't be crippled."

"Thank goodness for the soul's great healing powers. I wish they could heal my broken heart."

Tori dropped the plate of pancakes in front of me. She turned and left the kitchen.

_Fuck!_

"You're in trouble now, stud," Evan crowed.

"Leave him alone," Burns ordered.

"You know, you always stick for him," Rob shot back.

"And I always will. If you have problem with that, you can get out of my house."

_Whoa! _"Guys, let's not fight. I'll clean up the kitchen. Tori will be okay. I'll give her some time to cool off."

Ian, his dad, and Rob headed off to work on the house.

"Burns, are you taking the van in today?"

Considering there really wasn't anything wrong with the van, there really wasn't any hurry.

"No, you take the truck tonight. I'll take the van tomorrow. I'm afraid if leave you two alone, you might kill each other. I don't think Gina would have a pleasant birthday if that happened. Try to keep in mind that it's _her_ day."

"Okay, boss," I replied.

"Evan, you come with me to spackle the bunkhouse. That way I can keep an eye on you."

I knew better. He was making sure Evan didn't catch me and Gina if the inevitable happened. I owed Evan nothing. If Gina wanted me to make love to her, I had no intentions on disappointing her.

I ate my pancakes quietly. I didn't want to cause anymore discord. Burns was in my corner, and I intended to keep him there. After I finished eating, I cooked two more pancakes for Gina. I washed the dishes as I waited for the pancakes to cook. I made her a cup of hot chocolate since I knew it was her favorite and I poured it into a thermos. I placed the pancakes into a thermal container along with pancake syrup and utensils. Once everything was packed, I washed up the last of the dishes and I was in my way.

I passed a couple of the kids, who were on the way to grab some breakfast before school. No sign of Gina. I entered the cave and went directly to her room. I turned on the light that was just inside the doorway. It was always cold in the cave, so Gina was wrapped like a cocoon in her blanket. I placed the thermal container on the dresser. I sat on the mattress and traced my finger along her face.

"Hey, angel. You gonna sleep your birthday away?"

"Evan, I don't have school today."

"Hmmm, I never knew I sounded like Evan."

Gina opened her eyes. "Nathan!" she sat up and wrapped her arms around my neck. I could feel her naked body as I hugged her. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't miss your birthday."

She pulled back, and I immediately focused on her voluptuous breasts. Gina pulled the blanket up and covered her body.

"Nate, I'm naked."

"I love seeing you in your birthday suit."

"Nate. You can't see me like that anymore."

_Respect her wishes, man. _"I'm sorry. I'll step outside, so you can get dressed." I kissed her gently on the lips and rose to my feet. I stepped out of the room. I was pacing outside the room when Evan appeared around the corner.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Making sure you aren't on my girl."

"If I was, it would have been because she wanted it. Don't you trust your own girlfriend?"

Gina slid the curtain back and walked into the small hallway. "Evan, don't you trust me?"

Evan started back peddling. "Of course I do, sugar. I just thought…"

Gina interrupted him. "You just thought I'd fall into Nate's arms and forget all about our relationship?"

"No, I…"

I had such an urge to throw his words to me earlier today right back in his face. _You're in trouble now, stud._ I had to suppress my smile. I did it by thinking about Gina. She was obviously hurt by his lack of trust.

"Hey, I didn't come here to start trouble between you two. I just wanted to bring you breakfast, wish you a happy twentieth birthday, and let you know I would be here for the party."

"Thank you, Nate. You were a gentleman, and I appreciate that you left the room so I could get dressed." She turned to Evan. "I think you should leave."

"This is my room and you are my girlfriend."

She was holding in her anger. "Fine. Then I'll leave. Nate, can I stay with you?"

I was dumbfounded. "Um, uh, sure, if that's what you want. I'm leaving for the gypsies tonight." I kicked myself after I said it. I wanted Gina…but, this was her birthday and she loved Evan. I didn't want her to be miserable during her party. If this scene had played out on any other day, I would have jumped at the chance.

Gina walked up to me and grabbed my face. She locked lips with mine and kissed me. She left me wanting more. "Gina, I don't want to ruin your day."

"You didn't. He did." Her gaze at Evan was nothing short of daggers.

"Gina, you're making a big thing out of nothing," Evan snapped.

"_I_ made a big thing out of nothing? Let me tell you something. I could have easily said, 'come on Nate, let's fuck,' but you know what? I didn't. I respect our relationship. You're an asshole."

"I'm gonna go," I said cautiously, as I stepped away from them. I bolted from the cave and headed to the bunkhouse where Burns was working alone spackling the walls.

"I thought you were going to keep Evan here with you?"

"He said he had to go to the bathroom."

"There's a bathroom here!" I pointed out.

"No toilet paper. Don't tell me he caught you in a compromising position with Gina."

"No. He confronted me while I was waiting in the hall for her to put some clothes on and _she_ went off on him for not trusting her."

"Karma, man."

"Yeah, but now I feel bad."

"Don't. You told him you were going to see her. He obviously feels threatened, and if he doesn't trust her, then he shouldn't be in the relationship."

"What if someone liked Lily? What would you do?"

"Actually, I heard through the grapevine that when Ice first arrived at the caverns that he got pretty friendly with Lily."

"You weren't jealous?"

"Of course I was jealous, but if I let it be known, what would that have solved? Either she was going to remain true to me or she'd break up with me. All I could do was hope I was the better man."

"Wow, I hope I'm like you when I grow up."

He smiled. "No chance of that!"

"You don't think I could be like you?"

"No, I don't think you'll ever grow up."

I worked with Burns for the rest of the morning spackling the walls. We broke for lunch when Gina came to get us.

"Hey, you two. Are you going to work through lunch?"

"We were trying to finish up this room, so we can sand the room we did yesterday. That way, Tori can start painting tomorrow."

"Do you think I can help paint?"

"Sure, but don't you have school?" I reminded her.

"I can help after school."

"Gina, did you make up with Evan?"

"Make up? No. Break up? Yes."

"Damn, Gina. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Maybe it's for the best."

I didn't answer her.

"I could always come with you to the gypsies."

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

"I don't know. Will you take me if I decide to go?"

I looked at Burns. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Did you really break up with him?"

"Yep and you know what he said?"

"I don't know. What?"

"He said I wasn't the only fish in the sea."

"Huh…"

"Maybe he's going to go after Holly," Gina surmised.

"You think Holly likes him?"

"I have no idea. Right now, I don't care. It's my birthday. Will you be my date for the party?"

"I would be honored, angel."

"Let's go to lunch," Burns commanded.

Everyone else had already finished. We were alone in the funhouse. Lunch was canned Ravioli. We had just sat down when Ian and his crew showed up with Evan in tow.

Evan walked up to the table. He wasn't smiling. "Nate, can I talk to you outside?"

"Look I'm not trying to steal your girl."

"I'm not his girl," Gina answered before he could.

I got up from my seat and followed Evan outside.

"I'm sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen."

"Didn't you?"

"I swear to you, I didn't. Listen, I admit I still have feelings for Gina—strong feelings. I just wanted to be a part of her birthday. I admit that I would love to make to love to her again, but she was quick to shut me down."

He turned away from me and balled up his hands into fists. He turned back and spoke abruptly. "I want to go to the gypsies."

"No. I need to go to the gypsies. You need to make up with your girlfriend."

"Why? It's you she wants."

"She wants a long term commitment. I don't know if I can give that to her. You can."

"I'm going and you can't stop me."

"I can and I will," I said sternly. It was a threat and not a veiled one.

Evan marched past me back into the funhouse. He sat next to Ian and ate his lunch. Everyone ate in silence. As we finished lunch, I turned to Gina. "Would you like to come back to my room and play scrabble?"

She smiled. "Sure, that sounds like fun." Gina and I brought the dirty dishes back to the house. She took the opportunity to use the bathroom. I took the opportunity to make a phone call.

"Hey."

"Hey, what's up?"

"I need you to grab Evan and lock him in the root cellar."

"Why?"

"Because he's threatening to go to the gypsies."

"So, let him go."

"If he goes to the gypsies, it will mean the end for him and Gina."

"I thought that's what you wanted?"

"I wanted to see Gina celebrate her birthday. I didn't want to bust up their relationship."

"And how long do you expect me to keep him locked up?"

"Just until I leave. I'll leave when the party is in full swing. No one will notice. You let him out before she opens the gifts."

"What about your gift?"

"I'll give it to her now."

"Okay, the gifts are in my room. I don't know if Victoria wrapped them yet. When do you want me to snag Evan?"

"He won't leave before dark. Even Evan isn't that stupid. I'd say when the sun is going down."

"I'll keep Gina busy, so she doesn't see what's going on."

"Okay."

Gina exited the bathroom. "Hey, would you hang out a minute? I need to get something."

"Sure." She sat on the couch with the kids who were watching the Disney Channel.

I entered Burns's room and interrupted Tori as she wrapped the gifts.

"Hey." Tori didn't answer. She was obviously pissed. I needed to make amends. "I was looking for you."

"Well, you found me," she said coldly, as she continued wrapping.

I sat next to her and pulled her hand into mine. "You shouldn't be mad."

She raised her eyes to look at me. "You come into the kitchen and get all friendly with me, and then you tell Ian that Wanda broke your heart. How am I supposed to feel?"

"You are supposed to feel like the girl who kept me from crumbling. You are supposed to feel like the girl who may one day break my heart as well."

"You're just saying that."

"Victoria, knowing that you and Blake are getting closer every day makes me feel anxiety. I'm afraid that one day I won't be able to do this." I leaned in and kissed her. It was a short kiss, but I tasted her lips with my tongue.

"You're a good kisser," she replied. "Much better than Blake."

"Blake is still learning. He'll kiss you any way you want if you teach him."

"I don't want to make him feel inexperienced."

"Babe, he _is_ inexperienced. Just kiss him the way you want to be kissed. He'll catch on—believe me."

"Thanks."

"I wanted to give Gina her present before the party. Do you mind if I take it?"

"Diamond tennis bracelet. A little extravagant—don't you think?"

"I think she's a special lady and deserves a special gift."

"Right, she's number two in your heart."

"Number one in Evan's. I'm keeping her with me this afternoon. We'll be playing Scrabble. Care to join us?"

"You don't really want me butting in on your private time with Gina."

"Fine. You're right. You know Gina broke up with Evan this morning."

"You're lying."

"He came to check on me this morning because he knew I was going to see her and that she was lying naked in the bed."

"Did you..?"

"See her naked? Only from the waist up. She pulled the blankets to cover herself and asked me to wait outside while she dressed. That's when Evan showed up. She was pissed at him for not trusting her."

"So you're home free. Go for it."

"I'm sort of in a relationship with you."

"Are you?"

"I thought I was. You sure acted like it this morning."

"Do you want to break up with me?"

"You want the truth?" Tori bit her lower lip. "It depends on the day. Some days I do and some days I don't."

"How are feeling about it today?"

I leaned in close and brushed my finger along her lower lip. "Today I feel like I'm not ready to give you up to Blake just yet."

"Even for Gina?"

"Gina still loves Evan. They may be broken up, but honestly, I think she did it so she could spend her birthday with me and not feel guilty about it."

Tori drew in a deep sigh. "Go. Spend your day with her."

"Are you angry?"

"I know I should be, but I'm not."

"Maybe it's because you want to be with Blake."

"No, it's not that. I mean I like Blake, but this is about you." Her eyes began to tear up. "You and Gina belong together. You have a connection with her. I can't explain it. It's just the way you look when you're around her."

"So you're not going to play Scrabble with us?"

"No."

"Did I ever tell you that you're special?"

"Once or twice."

I cupped my hand under her chin and kissed her. It was a good kiss. A kiss we hadn't shared in days. "I'll see you later." I rose to my feet and started toward the door.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Tori asked, as she held out the wrapped gift. I turned and retrieved the gift from her. "See what you do to me?" I leaned down and kissed her one more time.

Gina was sitting on the couch still watching TV.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"Five more minutes? This show is almost over."

"Sure, angel." I stepped into the kitchen. Maria and Aunt Sue were frosting the cake they had baked this morning. "Hi, ladies. Is everything on track for this evening?"

"Sure is. We'll be starting on dinner as soon as we finish this cake."

"I have total faith in you. Have you seen Holly?"

"She's out there." Maria pointed out the kitchen window. "She's got Burns using a wheel barrow to move the sand. It's been slow going."

"At least Gina won't have any idea what the sand is for. Let me go before Gina pokes her head in here."

The credits were rolling when I returned to the living room. Gina was zipping up her jacket. "I'm ready now."

Gina and I walked back to the cave in silence. I wondered what was going through her head. We entered my room, and I took her coat.

"So, birthday girl, what's your poison?"

"What do you mean?"

"Scrabble or Yahtzee?"

"Aren't you going to seduce me?"

"This morning you asked me to leave the room, so you could put clothes on."

"Things have changed since this morning. Now I want you."

"I think you might regret it after you've made up with Evan."

"You know what I regret?"

"What?"

"Coming here to the mountain."

I was shocked. "Why would you say that?"

"Doesn't matter now. I'm here and I'm taking control of my life." She stripped off her sweater revealing a black lace bra.

"Where the hell did you get that?"

"You like it?"

"Who wouldn't?"

She walked up to me, unsnapped my jeans and pulled down the zipper. "It's my birthday, and I want you to make me happy."

"Gina," It was a weak protest at best.

"Kiss me, Nathan," she ordered.

"I don't think..."

She shoved me backwards. "Why the fuck did you come back anyway? You were on your way to gypsy land! I accepted that I wasn't a priority in you life and then you come back and make me think that I was important. I thought…" She never had a chance to finish her tirade. I grabbed her and kissed her. I had been pushing all the primal urges to fuck the shit out of her and I let them escape. You'd think we were starving for each other. I picked her up under her arms and she wrapped her legs around my torso.

It came to mind that Tori had said Blake didn't kiss as well as I did. In my mind, no one kissed better than Gina. She kissed the way she sucked dick—with passion and conviction. Her full lips were soft and warm. Her tongue caressed mine in slow delicious circles. Her teeth gently nibbled my lower lip. My brain was lost in sensory overload. My dick reacted quickly and pushed its way over the top of my open jeans. "I want to eat you," I murmured.

"Take your clothes off," she whispered.

I placed her gently on the bed. She released my neck, so I could stand up. She was already peeling her jeans off before I could rip off my own and I was already unzipped. She grabbed a hold of my dick as I approached the bed. "Gina, I want to satisfy you," I protested.

"Contest," she announced as she lay back and opened her legs.

My lips curled into a smile. "You're on." When it came to satisfying my sexual partners, I had never been beaten.

As I plunged my tongue into the folds of her warm pussy, she began to caress the tip of my cock with her tongue. I felt my stomach tighten at the sheer pleasure of her touch. I worked at pleasing her using my fingers to penetrate her just enough for her to want more as I teased her with my tongue. I heard her let out a moan and she lost her concentration for a few seconds and pulled off of my dick, but then she regained her sense and her determination, and she deep throated me. I gasped and lost my momentum. It went back and forth like this for about fifteen minutes. At one point I thought I had her because she threw her head back and enjoyed it as I sucked on her clitoris. Yet, she once again regained her focus and came back at with a vengeance. My body was betraying me. I wanted to climax so fucking bad. Finally, I couldn't take it. I plunged my dick down her throat, shot my load, and she began to choke. "Jesus!" I pulled out of her throat quickly, and she looked like she was drowning. I rolled her to her side and smacked her on the back. "Breathe, Gina!" I was afraid I'd suffocated her. She began coughing up sperm over the side of the bed. "I'm so sorry!"

He finally took several deep breaths and rolled onto her back on the bed. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen with tears. "I win," she said with a smile—and then she coughed some more.

I leaned forward, propping my elbows on my knees, and rested my forehead in my hands. "I could have suffocated you," I lamented.

"But you didn't and you came first," she said smugly.

"Yes, you won, but tell me how am I supposed to satisfy you?"

"Tell me you love me."

"I love you."

She pulled me down and kissed me passionately. "Now I'm happy," she cooed.

"You want to play scrabble?"

She laughed. "No, I don't think it would be sagacious to beat you twice in one day."

"Sagacious—huh—big word for a little girl."

"So you know what it means?" she challenged.

"Sagacious: wise, smart, prudent, tactful."

"Okay, so you know that one."

"I'm very proud of you and the fact that you take your studies so earnestly."

"Earnestly: thoughtfully, seriously, enthusiastically."

We both laughed. "Snuggle with me?" Gina requested.

"Your wish is my command. Oh—wait! I have your birthday present. I wanted you to open it while we're alone."

"Okay."

I got off the bed and reached into my coat pocket for the tiny wrapped gift. I scooted back on the bed and took Gina's hand in mine. "Now I want you to know that Burns told me what Evan asked him to pick up for you for your birthday. I know he loves you, but I love you, too, and I didn't want to be outdone."

"Oh, Nate."

"Listen, he's angry right now and he alluded that he wants to take off to the gypsies. I can't let him do that for several reasons; one being that I know the only reason you broke it off with him was so you could spend the day with me without a guilty conscience."

"Nate, I'd spend every day with you if you'd have me."

"I'd be afraid that I would destroy you. You're good with Evan. I'm selfish. I wanted this day with you, so I asked Burns to lock him in the root cellar until I leave tonight on the premise that he was going to try to take the truck to the gypsies."

"You could have just taken the key. Why didn't Burns suggest that?"

"Maybe he figured out my plan, or maybe it's because Burns knows that Evan can hot-wire a vehicle. He came to us three years ago when he was seventeen. He learned pretty quickly from those he was with how to steal a car."

"Right, he told me about his extended family. His older sister and her boyfriend were part of that group."

"Yeah, he was brought in the same way you were. Anyway, he's always been loyal to me until you came along. The gypsies think that you and I are married. If he goes to them in the frame of mind he's in right now, he'd blow the whole deception we have created and then none of them would ever trust me again. I don't want Nadia to find out the truth until after she's arrived here."

"You're gonna keep him locked up all night?"

"I won't stay for the whole party. I'll stay just long enough to see you enjoy yourself and eat a little of the fabulous food Maria and Aunt Sue are preparing." I kissed her gently on the lips. "I _do_ love you Gina and I hope you'll accept this gift as a token of my love." I handed her the wrapped box.

"It looks so pretty!" she trilled.

"Victoria wrapped all the gifts. She was a little jealous of your gift, so I'm going to have to come up with something good for her birthday."

Gina smiled and slowly unwrapped the box. She pulled it from the wrapping and carefully lifted the lid. There was excitement in her eyes.

"Oh my God! Are they real?"

"They better be."

"I've never owned anything with diamonds!" she gushed.

"I've never given anyone diamonds before. I thought you deserved the best. I hope you like it."

"Oh, Nathan!" She flung herself at me and knocked me backwards as she kissed me over and over again. She finally pulled away and draped the bracelet over her wrist. "Will you help me put it on?"

I secured the clasp and she admired it. "It's absolutely beautiful!"

I smiled at her. "Now, I know you wanted to snuggle, but I think with just a little goading I might be persuaded to satisfy you now."

She leered at me. "What did you have in mind?"

"Take off your bra, so I can see those magnificent breasts."

She cocked her head to the side. "Maybe you'd like to do it."

I kissed her cleavage as I reached around to undo the hooks and eyes that rested on her spine. I pulled back as I slowly slid the straps from her shoulders and the lacey cup fell away from her breasts. I drew in a deep sigh. "Only Rachel comes close to the perfection of your breasts, but I think hers might be a little too big."

"I didn't know you had first hand knowledge of Rachel's breasts."

"It was a long time ago. She's happy with Rob just as you'll one day be happy with Evan and I…"

"Will never leave my heart. You are my Wanda."

I felt a lump rise up in my throat. I buried my face in her neck and began to kiss her collarbone, so she wouldn't see the tears I was trying to suppress. I made love to her and this time I was in complete control, and she had one hell of an orgasm. I didn't allow myself to climax until I was sure she had been completely satiated. Afterwards, we lay back in the bed entwined in each other arms and we took a much needed afternoon siesta.

13


	54. Chapter 54

**You know a while back I had a few people attack me because I was upset that I wasn't getting many reviews. One person went so far as to say the only reason they were reading my story was because there wasn't any other Host stories to read…**

**Anyway, this is an e-mail I got from someone who apparently searches out stories by the reviews they receive. She found Plum Crazy and wrote this to me: **dear ms. Nancy,

well you got me, and honestly it was sophiepicklegirl and her last review that sucked me into your story...bless her heart.

so i am in, and yeah if it was a babe story your reviews would be out of sight i am sure. but at least you got good ol diesel in the picture and cal...can hardly wait for the moms to find out they are already married. snort.

keep it up and i am following your story all over the place.

**This e-mail made my whole weekend, well that and the Giants winning…Sorry, guys. I'm a Jersey girl.**

THE KISSING BANDIT

11/12/2002 – It is still Gina's birthday. I just had to write this down before I forget this state of euphoria I am feeling. I was a complete scumbag to Evan. I used my power to have him detained, so I could spend time freely with Gina. She is lying next to me now sleeping. I'd swear she has a smile on her face, as do I. It will be hard to leave her tonight, but at least she knows that I still love her. More important is the fact that I know she still loves me. I'd feared in recent weeks that Evan had stolen her heart. She was so excited when she opened the box that held her diamond tennis bracelet. Sex with her was nothing short of phenomenal. The way I'm feeling right now is…I love her. I'm in love with her. I think I could make it work with her, but I'm so scared. Today I buried all those feelings I've been harboring for Wanda, but what about tomorrow or the day after that? What happens when she returns and I come face to face with her? What about Evan?

Gina stirred from under the blanket.

"Hey," I said in a quiet voice.

"What are you doing?"

"Writing in my journal."

"Can I read it?"

"Sure, after I die and it becomes public domain."

"That's not funny."

"Well, I am almost eight years older than you. Women generally live longer than men. Chances are I'll die before you."

"I don't want to talk about death. If you won't let me read your journal, then read one of your books to me."

"What book would you like me to read?"

"I've been eyeing Interview with a Vampire for a while now."

I chuckled.

"What?"

"Vampires are the living dead."

"Okay, you got me."

"You like that supernatural stuff, don't you?"

"Uh huh."

"Okay, get dressed in case someone comes in looking for us, and I'll read to you."

"Who's going to come looking for us? You said you locked up Evan."

"I don't know if they've locked him up yet. Tori could show up. We _are_ sort of seeing each other."

"Are you going to tell her what happened between us today?"

"I think she suspects it. Our relationship isn't like yours and Evan's. She's got her eye on Blake, and I haven't made any demands on her to be monogamous, but it still wouldn't be kosher for her to find you naked in my bed."

"I suppose not."

Gina and I dressed and then got comfortable on the bed. We pulled the blanket over us, and Gina snuggled into my chest while I read to her. I read the first chapter and had begun the second when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" I yelled.

"I'm sorry to disturb you." It was Victoria.

"We were just reading," I said casually.

"It's six o'clock. Everyone is waiting for Gina to come to the fun house."

"I hadn't realized the time." I flipped the blanket off of us, and Tori seemed surprised to see us fully dressed. We donned our shoes and coats. I offered each lady an elbow, and we headed to the party. I pulled open the door to the building. Tori entered first, and I assume gave the others the thumbs up. Gina stepped inside the door and the crowd yelled '_Happy Birthday!' _I followed behind her. Gina and I both gazed around the room taking in the transformation of the modest décor into the fiesta like atmosphere. I felt like I was in a tiki hut. The posters on the wall were lined with straw grass giving it the illusion that you were looking out the window at the beach. The floor was sandy. There were shells strewn everywhere. Most of the younger crowd was dressed in summer clothing. A few were wearing Hawaiian shirts and everyone had floral leis around their necks. The sound of the beach was being piped through speakers mounted in the corners of the room. Waves could be heard breaking onto the shore and the distinct cry of seagulls flying overhead. I had to admit I was pretty damned impressed.

"Oh my God! Nate! You did all this for me?"

"All I did was set the wheels in motion by delegating responsibilities. The cake and the fabulous dinner were created by the capable hands of Maria and Aunt Sue."

"And Kim!" Maria added.

"And my beautiful sister, Kim," I repeated as I nodded to Kim.

"Thank you!" Gina replied humbly.

"The real man of the hour is Burns. He's the one who purchased everything we needed for this shindig. He had a food list, a decoration list, and a gift list. I don't know how many stores he had to hit to get everything."

Gina walked up to Burns and gave him a heartfelt hug. "I wish all the souls were like you. Thank you so much."

"Oh, and he also carried wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow of sand from the truck to this building," I added.

Burns piped up. "Ian also helped otherwise, I'd be dead by now."

Everyone chuckled.

"Victoria was in charge of wrapping all the gifts, and Holly created all of this." I raised my hand gesturing to the room décor.

Holly stepped forward and took Tori by the hand. "I couldn't have done it without Victoria. She's a creative genius!"

"You guys are so great!" Gina hugged both Holly and Tori. Tori looked over at me, and I mouthed the words "thank you" to her.

"Now you have to get to the front of the line. Everyone is waiting to eat," I ordered.

Gina grabbed my hand and dragged me with her to the front of the line.

"Hold up!" Rachel called out. "You have to open your first gift. It's from Burns."

"O—kay," she said cautiously trying to figure out why she'd have to open his gift now. I whispered in her ear. "Don't take all day, I'm starving."

Gina quickly unwrapped the box and opened it. Inside the box were an ocean blue Hawaiian shirt and a pretty lei of flowers.

"You can't be at the beach in a sweater!" Rachel trilled.

"You want me to put it on _now_?"

"Yes!" The crowd called out.

"But…"

"All you guys turn around!" Rachel instructed.

"You, too, Carlos," Kim called out.

_Carlos! Good God, don't tell me he's into Gina, too._

I helped Gina pull her sweater over her head, and she quickly slid her arms into the shirt. She got the first two buttons closed before some of the guys turned around. I placed the lei over her head and kissed her gently on the lips. The crowd erupted in hoots and hollers. I picked up a plate and handed it to Gina. "Let's eat!" I proclaimed.

The ladies served baked manicotti and chicken parmesan with Italian bread and salad. I was glad I took an afternoon nap because this was the kind of meal that would put you down for the night. I kept my eyes on Gina. It was like I was drinking her in. I noticed that she fiddled with her bracelet often.

"Does your bracelet bother you?"

"Not at all. It's just so beautiful; I can't stop looking at it."

I leaned to her ear. "That's how I feel about you."

She turned her head toward me, and I kissed her in front of the whole family. It wasn't much more than a quick kiss, but I did taste her lips with my tongue, and she paused to savor it. It did not go unnoticed by the crowd. I was delirious. I didn't really give a shit what anyone thought of me. I was going to enjoy this night with Gina because I had no idea what would happen once Evan made his appearance. Besides, deep down, I knew she should be with him.

After dinner, the peaceful ocean sounds gave way to Calypso music. Carlos was playing DJ. He sauntered up to Gina. "Come dance with me."

Gina looked at me.

"Go. Have a good time."

Immediately, the thought of Blake bragging to Carlos about his quest for Victoria flashed through my mind. Maybe Carlos was trying to woo an older woman of his own. Carlos took Gina by the hand and escorted her out to the dance floor. Carlos had rhythm. He had that Latino flair when he danced. She was trying hard to keep up with him and she looked adorable doing it. Ian came up and stood next to me with a beer in his hand.

"She looks happy."

"Yeah."

"So do you."

"I'm happy for her."

"Maybe, but you've got a glow about you. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you and Gina did the deed while Evan was locked in the root cellar."

"Gina wouldn't cheat on her boyfriend."

"You'd never know the way you kissed her at dinner."

"I stole that kiss."

"Did you? Because it looked pretty damn mutual to me."

"Uh huh, and I'll steal another before I leave. Count on it."

"What are you like the kissing bandit?"

I burst out laughing. "Remember that when I steal that last kiss from Wanda before she says 'I do'."

Ian didn't say anything. I think he was not surprised that I would give it one last try. Rachel came skipping up to me. "Rob won't dance. Come Samba with me!"

Rachel and I had danced many times before. In the dead of winter, we used to practice with each other in the cave. It was good exercise and it was the only way we could touch each other in public during the affair. The song ended, and I offered Rachel my arm. She took it willingly and we marched out to the dance floor. She turned to face me. I placed my right hand on her hip and we clasped our free hands together and began to Samba. I felt awkward at first, but the beat soon took me. Rachel followed my lead beautifully. Most of the crowd watched us. When the song ended, I could see Gina standing on the sideline. She looked almost dejected. Rachel kissed me on the lips, which took me by surprise, and strutted back to Rob. I had no idea if she was trying to prove a point to Rob or what, but I wasn't about to open up that can of worms. Instead I made my way to Carlos who had just started the next song and instructed him to play a slow song. He agreed. I turned and approached Gina.

"Are you having a good time?"

"I'm so jealous!"

"I haven't gone near Tori," I said thinking that her jealousy sprang from the fact that Tori and I were in a relationship of sorts.

"I wasn't talking about Tori! Teach me how to dance like that!" she gushed.

"Anytime, angel."

"I want to learn before the wedding, so we can dance together."

"Don't you think your boyfriend might get jealous?"

"He's not my boyfriend. I broke up with him, remember?"

The song I requested began. "Come on, angel. Dance with me before I leave."

She draped her arms around my neck, and we moved gently back and forth. We stared into each other's eyes.

"Do you have to go?"

"You know better than anyone here that I have to go. I have formula for the baby. Klaudia may have delivered already."

"I doubt it. She'd only be eight months."

"Women deliver early all the time. I was a preemie baby. I was a month early."

"There's nothing pre-mature about you now."

I smiled. "Thanks."

Gina nuzzled her face into my neck, and we danced for a minute before she whispered, "I wish I could see the baby."

"It might just make you sad. It's better this way for now." She pulled her head away and looked at me. "Besides, it's your party!"

"It's a wonderful party! Thank you."

"Hey, it was a collaborative effort."

I pulled Gina close and cherished the feel of her body against mine. When the song ended, I let her go. "Let me say good-bye to Victoria, and then you can walk me out."

"Okay," she said tentatively.

I pulled Ian out onto the sand covered dance floor where Gina remained looking a little lost.

"What are you doing?" he protested.

"Dance with the birthday girl. I need to say good-bye to Tori."

I turned immediately toward Victoria. She was sitting with Burns drinking a Piña Colada adorned with a pink umbrella.

"Hey, Xena."

"Hey, yourself."

"I'm gonna head out. I have a long drive ahead of me."

"See ya," she said coldly.

"Don't be like that. I promise when I come back, it will be me and you."

"How can you say that? Gina will be waiting for you."

"Possibly, but I think Evan is going to worm his way back into her bed."

"I'm sorry," she said with just a hint of sarcasm.

"Hey, it's possible that Blake might worm his way into _your_ bed by the time I get back."

"I don't think so," Tori said adamantly.

I couldn't help but smile at her response. I kissed her forehead.

"Oh, it's like that?" Tori sneered.

"Like what?"

"You practically make out with Gina in front of everybody, and I get a peck on the forehead. Thanks a lot." Tori got up and began to walk away.

I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back. I tilted my head upward to kiss her. She pulled back. "I thought this is what you wanted?"

"What do _you_ want?"

"I want you to know that I'm not ready to give you up to Blake. I love both your friendship and the private moments we spend together."

"Follow me," Tori said, as she turned and went to the door. She grabbed her coat and left.

Gina was still dancing with Ian. I grabbed my coat off the chair and rushed out the door. Tori was standing just on the other side of the building. I went to her and pulled her into the bunkhouse where it was warm.

"I don't know what you want, Tori."

She grabbed my face and kissed me hard. I was surprised at first because I thought I was going to get a lecture from her. I responded and kissed her for a long time. Victoria had learned to do the things I liked since we started seeing each other—including how to kiss. My dick started to get hard. As she pulled away, she spoke.

"For the record, although I am interested in Blake, I am not going to pursue this before he turns eighteen. I'm not going to rush into a relationship with a kid. He needs to grow up and so do I."

I chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Besides Maria and Burns, you are the most mature person I know. As it's been pointed out by both of them, it is I, who needs to grow up."

"No argument there."

I kissed her again. This kiss wasn't as passionate, but my hard-on was still raging. I took her hand and laid it on the bulge in my pants. "See what you do to me?"

Victoria smiled broadly for the first time.

"I'll call you while I'm gone, so let Burns know where you'll be."

"Okay." She kissed me quickly. "Have a safe trip and…"

"What?" I looked into her hazel eyes.

She looked away. "I love you," she said softly.

I pulled her into my chest. "I'll always be here for you," I whispered. "It might be awkward if I went back in with you. Would you tell Gina that I'm here waiting for her if she wants to say good-bye?"

"Sure."

Tori backed away. I paced inside the bunkhouse as I waited for Gina to arrive. It was only a few minutes before the door opened and a smiling Gina entered.

"Hey," she said in a soft voice.

"I thought you might want to say good-bye without the entire mountain staring at us."

"Personally, I don't care what anyone else thinks."

"Gina, you know as soon as I leave, Burns and Ian are going to let Evan out of the root cellar. He's going to be fuming."

"I don't care."

"Gina, he got jealous. I don't think he was wrong. After all, look at me; I've messed with Rachel and Wanda. I don't exactly have a great track record with other guy's ladies. Remember that he loves you. Our time today was spectacular, but do you really want to dump a guy who will put you at number one for a fickle guy like me who doesn't know what the hell he wants from day to day?"

She started to tear up. "But I want _you!_" she sniveled.

"I know you do, and maybe one day, I'll grow up enough to know I want you and only you, but right now I can't make that kind of commitment even to a wonderful girl like you." _You are going to be so sorry you said that._ _You need to give her some kind of hope._

"If and when I am able to make that kind of commitment, it will be with a ring and a proposal. Do you understand?"

The tears were sliding gently down her cheeks. She nodded her head.

"You do what you want to do in regard to Evan, but don't make a decision based on me."

Earlier today, I wanted Gina to break it off with Evan, so I could lay claim to her, but Tori's kiss meant more than I wanted it to mean. _Shit! Why am I so fucked in the head?_

I placed my hand on her cheek and wiped away her tears. "I love you, Gina." I leaned in and kissed her. "I'll send the gypsies your love." I kissed her again. This time it was a good-bye kiss. I didn't hold back because I didn't know if and when I would get to kiss her again. "Tell Ian and Burns that I'm ready to go—and smile. It's your birthday." I paused. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you. You know there's nothing wrong with the van. I said those things, so the others wouldn't know that I came back because of you."

Gina forced a smile and left the building. I stepped out into the cold a moment later and my phone rang. It was Wanda.

"Hello, Beautiful!" Ian exited the funhouse as I began my conversation with Wanda.

"Nate, is Ian with you? Kyle wants to speak with him."

"Sure, you know we've been joined at the hip lately. I think I love him."

"You're so funny. This is serious."

I looked at Ian. "Sounds like something serious." I handed the phone to Ian. "Hey, Babydoll."…"Why don't you tell him?"…"You're afraid of him."…"Let me talk to him." There was a brief pause before Ian began to talk again. "Jonathan is a guy that Sunny met when they went to the club. It turns out he lives in a frat house at my old alma mater. She's upset right now and she's trying to forget you by hooking up with someone else. I think you calling her was a good thing. Wanderer didn't want to tell you because she's afraid you will react the way I did and hurt her. So, I'm begging you, walk away from her. She did not encourage this. If anything, she tried really hard to stop it." There was another pause. "Is he gone?"…"I told him that you were afraid he might do what I did to you. I asked him to separate himself from you until he was sure he could maintain control."…"I won't apologize. He is like me. We are the same. I need you to remind him of that. Remind him that he does not want to be self destructive as I have been. Reassure him that she will come back. Tell him Jonathan cannot hold a candle to him." …"I love you more."

Ian hung up the phone and handed it back to me.

"What happened?"

"It seems that Kyle got up the nerve to call Sunny, and she told him about Jonathan, the guy she met. He wanted to know who the hell the guy was. Wanderer was with him alone in the desert. She was afraid he'd snap like I did and hurt her."

"I kinda got that part."

"I hope she'll be all right."

"I don't think Kyle would hurt her. He was there for her when you pushed her away. He knows that if anyone can help him through this, it's her."

Burns exited the building. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, let Evan loose as soon as I leave. Tell him if he doesn't want to lose Gina, he had better not ruin her birthday party."

We walked in silence for a few minutes.

"Tell him; if I come back and she wants me, I'm gonna take him from her."

"Yes!" Ian did a fist pump. "I knew it was her."

I shot Ian an evil look.

Burns was sedate. "So you're leaving it up to her?"

"I am."

"What about Victoria?"

"For now, I am here for Victoria, but you know she and Blake have eyes for each other."

"Seriously?" Ian replied. "Isn't she a little old for him?"

"Look at you. The pot calling the kettle black. We are both too old for Wanda."

"Speak for yourself," Ian shot back.

"I've only got a year on you and if I remember correctly, you gave Blake a few tips on how to hit on Victoria."

Ian smiled. "Who, me?"

"Yeah, remember the night I dragged Wanda out to the root cellar, and you said to bring her back unscathed?"

"Oh, yeah. So that's what was bothering you?"

"What was bothering me was that your fiancée was flirting with me big time, and I knew that something was up."

"Wanderer flirted with you?"

"Yeah, imagine that."

"I'm a little bothered by that."

"Good, then don't marry her. As a matter of fact, why don't you break it off with her?"

"Shut up."

We reached the truck, and I slid into the driver's seat.

"I'll be calling to see how things are going. I told Tori I would call her."

"When will you be back?"

"Sunday night."

"Three days of gypsy ass, huh? You know you may be pining for my fiancée, but it seems to me that you are living the high life."

"Yeah, my specialty is breaking ladies' hearts because I can't have the one lady I really want. I feel fucking spectacular about it."

I threw the truck in reverse and backed out of the driveway.

I spent the next six hours listening to music in an effort to block out my thoughts. All of the angry music of the past was gone. Rap was gone. Metal was gone. All that was left was happy pop music and R&B. Not that it was bad, but right now I was in an angry place, and I didn't want to hear happy music.

I was frustrated that Ian made light of my situation with Gina, Victoria, and Nadia. Not that Nadia was anything more to me than a sexual partner. I knew that if I could just get her parents to allow her to come to the mountain, she would have several suitors to choose from. Evan would probably be the best fit for her, but Blake was still single and so was Carlos. They were both young, but Nadia, although highly sexual was still emotionally a teenager.

If I could just get her to the mountain, everything would change…maybe.

At eleven o'clock I pulled out my phone and called Burns. I wanted to know if Evan minded his P's and Q's after he was released from the root cellar.

"Hello?"

"Hey, how did things go at the party after I left?"

"Well, we went to get Evan. All he wanted was to see you. He was hopping mad."

"Ian took control of the situation. He told Evan that if he was going to be an asshole then he was going to lose Gina forever. He told him that he knew how he felt because Wanda has admitted to him that she loves you. He told him it's been really hard to accept, but the nicer he is about it, the more she loves him."

"So, what happened?"

"We all entered the party at the same time. He didn't approach Gina at first. She was hanging with Tori and Rachel. They were dancing, and Gina was doing a pretty good job at ignoring him."

"So he didn't start trouble."

"No, but I think it was because Ian stayed right with him. After a bit they sat Gina down to open the gifts."

"What did she get? I mean aside from the necklace that Evan got her."

"Rachel gave her a pass for a spa day including haircut, manicure, and a facial."

"That sounds nice."

"Maria and Aunt Sue gave her a new pair of sneakers."

"Did Victoria get her anything?"

"Victoria gave her a picture—of you."

"Me? She gave her a picture of me?"

"Well it was of you, me, Evan, and Ian."

"When did she draw that?"

"We were sitting on the tailgate of the truck. I think she got us one day at lunch."

"Was it good?"

"You've seen Tori's stuff. What do you think?"

"It was good."

"You were the best out of the four of us. She called it 'the quad squad'."

I chuckled. "The quad squad?"

"Anyway, after she opened all the presents, Evan came forward with his gift. He told her he was sorry for letting his jealousy get the better of him. He gave her the gift and said he hoped she would accept it."

"Let me guess. When she saw the heart shaped necklace, she forgave him."

"Well, not right away. She stared at the necklace and then closed the box. She thanked him and said it was beautiful."

"Oh my God."

"Yeah, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Carlos started the music, and Gina was dancing with Ian's dad when Evan asked if he could cut in. They danced for a few minutes and then the two of them grabbed their coats and went outside. Ian went outside after them just to make sure nothing happened if you know what I mean."

"He was acting like a bodyguard—Good."

"Well, according to Ian, they talked and then he kissed her."

I felt my heart sink. "So, they made up."

"They entered the building and they danced to a slow song. He stayed close the rest of the night."

"I see."

"Sorry, man."

"Yeah, me, too. Tell Tori I'll call her tomorrow."

"You okay?"

"I will be."

"Drive safe."

I arrived at the gypsy campsite just after two in the morning. It was Friday and I wasn't due back for three days. Maybe I'd hang out a few more days. I pulled up to front of the mine. I usually came in the van, so I knew they would be suspicious of the truck. I followed the usual protocol. I got out of the truck, walked forward about eight feet, and lowered my pants. I interlocked my fingers behind my head and turned around slowly.

"Nate! You old dog, what are you doing driving that truck?"

"The van was giving us issues, so I took Burns's truck."

"Well, pull up your pants and get over here!"

I pulled my pants up and walked over to Dominik and Niko. Dominik pulled me into his arms and gave me a manly hug.

"Did Klaudia have the baby yet?"

"No. She's as big a house though. I've been taking watch most nights, because she is having troubles sleeping with me in the bed."

"I brought plenty of supplies for her—formula and diapers. I even got a few sleepers and outfits."

"Your soul really does a lot for you, doesn't he?"

"Burns is irreplaceable to us. I don't know what we'd do without him."

"Well, I'm sure Klaudia will be excited."

"Where do you want me to sleep?"

"Where do you think? Nadia has been bathing everyday for the last week and she's got clean sheets on her bed. She's been hoping and praying you'd come."

I was still feeling down, but I forced a smile.

"You okay?" Niko asked.

"Yeah. Yesterday was Gina's birthday. I left in the middle of her party."

"Why would you leave in the middle of your wife's party?" Dominik asked.

"I was worried about all of you. I tried to leave four days ago, but the weather was bad. We agreed that I would leave tonight after the party, but the party was still in full swing when I left."

"Your wife is really cool," Niko exclaimed.

"Thanks. I'm tired. I'm going to head to bed."

Niko handed me a flashlight. I made my way through the mine until I got to Nadia's room. I laid the flashlight butt end on the floor with the light facing up at the ceiling. I stripped down to my boxers and knelt at the edge of the bed. I lifted the blanket. She was lying naked in the bed with her back to me.

Suddenly she rolled over. "Ogier! I hoped you would come!"

"I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner, but the weather was bad."

"The weather was bad here, too. It's been very cold."

"Slide over and I'll keep you warm." She only had one blanket on her bed. "Where is your other blanket?"

"It was dirty. I wanted everything to be clean for you."

"What about the top sheet?"

"I forgot. I never use it."

"Where is it?"

"In the bottom drawer of the dresser."

I climbed out of the bed. I pulled her blanket off the bed and laid it on the dresser. Nadia was curled up in a ball. "Nate, it's cold!"

"Hold on a sec. This will make all the difference in the world." I unfolded the blanket and snapped it, so it opened up over the shivering Nadia. Then I took the blanket and laid it over the top of the sheet. I quickly climbed into the bed and pulled Nadia into my chest.

"Are you going to shut off the light?"

"You sure are demanding," I joked. I reached over and turned off the flashlight. We lay quietly in the darkness.

"How is Gina?" she asked.

"Yesterday was her birthday. We had a party for her. She was happier than I've ever seen her."

"Did she say anything about her visit?"

"Yes, she told me everything. We don't hold secrets from each other."

"I hope the man who falls in love with me will be like you."

"He'll be better than me. Trust me."

"Do you want to make love to me?"

"I do, but right now I want to sleep. Is that all right with you?"

"It's all right—as long as I can feel your warm body against mine."

I felt for her chin and pulled her face to mine and kissed her. The feel of her lips and the way she kissed me brought back pleasant memories of my little gypsy princess. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too." I pulled Nadia tight to my chest and rested my chin on top of her head and drifted off happy that I could make Nadia's dream come true but desperately worried about my own dreams.

12


	55. Chapter 55

SO, I just saw One for the Money and I have to admit, Jason O'MAlley was a great choice to play Joe Morelli. He reminds me of Mel Gibson back in his hotty days. He and Stephanie (Katherine Heigl) had good chemistry. Ranger was a disappointment. Sorry but that Ranger was so NOT Cuban. I wasn't crazy about the choices for Stephanie's family. Grandma should have been older and weaker. Mom should have been thinner. Dad thinner, too, more like Vinnie. I liked Vinnie. Good job there and Lula was spot on. But again for me Morelli stole the show, cupcake. Now I need to get back to writing Plum Crazy, but before I do, let me give a shout out to my newest friends here on FanFic: vampgrl99- thank you for the reviews. I wish I could write back to you. And also 1313 and b1ack-candy – I look forward to hearing more from you both. And as always to my old friends Ladaane, Barbie2435, Jasminedragon22, and Wadjett. Lover of souls, try not to kill me on this chapter. I'm not a doctor.

Love to all!

THE HEALING POWER

11/13/2002 – I've been here at the gypsies less than fifteen four hours and I've already made love to Nadia three times. Considering I slept for seven hours, I guess I'm holding up pretty well. With Klaudia so close to giving birth, they have relied on Nadia to help out with the cooking, giving me a much needed break. The first time we had sex, my head wasn't on the game. I was thinking about Victoria and whether or not she would be receptive to Blake's advances, should he have the balls to try. She really was the most loyal to me out of the ladies on the mountain, although Nadia was probably the girl who treasured my company the most. It was hard to gauge though considering I was the only one here. I wondered if given the choice, would she prefer one of the others over me?

I haven't really seen much of the others yet. Nadia has kept me holed up in her room. I guess I should get my ass up and try again to pitch my plea to Stanislaw for Nadia to accompany me back to the mountain.

It's weird. I thought I'd be happy to get away from all the drama of the mountain, but I miss it. I miss them. Gina and Tori.

I stepped out into the bright sunlight of the afternoon. It was a cold day. I zipped up my coat and shoved my hands into my pockets.

"Good Morning—or should I say afternoon."

"Good morning. We were getting worried that you had forgotten about us," Ludmila replied.

"I would never forget about you. The weather was bad and I promised the others I would not travel in bad weather. Too much chance of getting caught. I _could_ travel if you allowed Burns to accompany me."

"I don't want a soul to know where we are, even if he is a friend of yours."

"Burns is a good man. He would never turn against us."

"So _you_ say. What you do on your mountain is your business. I don't want him here!" Stanislaw bellowed.

"Papa, cam down," Klaudia implored.

"Nate, we always appreciate that you take the time and the chance to some and bring us supplies," Klaudia said sweetly.

"Did you know that yesterday was Gina's birthday? They had a big party for her," Nadia said in an obvious effort to change the subject.

"Really? Tell us about this party," Klaudia asked.

"Gina had a very hard life before coming to us on the mountain. She was passed around like a piece of meat among the men she was with before running away and managing on her own. I wanted her to have a special birthday, so I incorporated the help of most of the people on the mountain. Gina mentioned to me that she always wanted to honeymoon on a Caribbean island, so we turned our dining hall into a tiki hut complete with posters of the beach and sand on the floor. Everyone wore summer clothes and leis around their necks and we had cute little umbrellas in all the drinks. Burns even managed to find a CD with sounds of the ocean. It was pretty awesome. She had a great time."

"Wow."

"You have heated buildings?" Edyta asked.

"Yes, Burns's house is heated. There's a Jacuzzi in the bathroom. The new dining hall slash schoolhouse is heated now and so is the bunkhouse. We built it to accommodate the clan from the desert, since we are going to have our first wedding on the mountain. Ian, a human, is marrying Wanderer, a soul."

"That's just wrong," Aleksander blurted out.

"Maybe, but they are very happy."

"What happens when this soul's body gets old? Will it crawl out and climb into someone else's body?" Niko asked.

"Well, it doesn't really work like that. They have to be surgically removed, and if you don't know how to do it, you'll just end up destroying the soul. The clan at the desert tried for a long time and ended up losing both the soul and the human. It was Wanderer who told them how to do it right. She let them remove her from the body she inhabited because Melanie was still fighting to stay in her head. Wanderer thought she'd die. She requested it even though they had the tanks needed to preserve her and send her to another planet to live another life in another entity. It was Ian who refused to allow her to die. He placed her in the cryo tank and kept her with him while Melanie's lover and brother went off to find a suitable replacement. They felt that a soul who was willing to die, so Melanie could live deserved to have a chance at life as well. Besides, Ian is not the kind of guy you would want to piss off. Take my word for it. He can do some serious damage."

"So, Ian has seen this soul, Wanderer, in her true form?" Klaudia asked.

"Yes."

"And he still loves her?" Niko asked.

"Yes."

"That's crazy," Stanislaw blurted out.

"Wanda is—special."

Niko interrupted. "I thought her name was Wanderer?"

"It is, but we've taken to call her Wanda. It's more—human. Only Ian calls her Wanderer. There are two other souls in our clans. Sunny, who inhabits the body of Jody, Ian's brother's love. They removed Sunny from the body, but Jody was gone, so…"

"They put her back?" Dominik asked.

"At Kyle's request. You see, Kyle went off in search of Jody after learning that Melanie had been given her body back. He was surprised to find that Jody, I mean Sunny, came willingly because she had Jody's memories and she loved him, too. She didn't even put up a fight."

"So are they a couple?"

"They weren't at first. She was more like a pet. Kyle let her tag along until one day Wanda convinced him that Sunny might be jealous of the attention he was giving to Wanda. I think after the first kiss, things moved along pretty quickly."

"Wait a minute." Stanislaw interrupted. "You said that the humans found another body for Wanda to inhabit. Where did they find another human?"

"They snagged a girl at the mall. Of course, she already had a soul in her. They took that soul out and sent it—_her_—her name they found out was Pet—they put her in a cryo tank and sent her to another planet. They placed Wanda into the body and she woke up very surprised to be alive."

"That's some love story," Klaudia crooned.

"Yeah." As much as I hated to admit it, it _was_ a love story, and I had no right to destroy that. It was at that moment that I realized that I couldn't take that from Ian. I wouldn't take Wanda from him. They belonged together. I knew I would always love her, but I needed to make some changes in my life. I would have to make a decision between Gina and Tori.

I must have been staring off into space because Nadia was waving her hand in front of my face. "Earth to Nate!"

I came out of my daze. "Sorry. I have a lot on my mind these days with the wedding coming up."

Klaudia took my hand. "Take a little walk with me Nate."

"Sure."

I offered Klaudia my arm, and she took it willingly.

"So, how are you feeling?" I asked.

"Stuffed."

"The wedding is in mid December. I'm going to try and make it back before then. I'll bring as much supplies as I can get my hands on. Wanda is due back in two weeks. She will probably be going into town often to get the last of the things she needs for the wedding. I'll have her get supplies each time she goes in."

"Nate, that's really sweet of you."

"Klaudia, I think that birthing children under these circumstances is very courageous if not dangerous."

"Well, I don't have the luxury of birth control like you—not that I don't want the baby. I do. I just worry that sickness or injury could be the death of any one of us."

"I understand. I have some healing medications that the souls use in the truck. I'll leave it with you."

"I don't know how to use it."

"It's easy. I'll show you. You know Ian got shot in the belly a while back. Under normal circumstances, he would have died. As a matter of fact, I thought he was dead, but Burns, he poured the healing medication into the wound probably just before Ian took his last breath, and he saved him."

"Oh my! Who shot him?"

"Xena, the warrior." I smiled when I thought about her. She was such a fierce opponent and yet such a gentle lover.

"Xena?"

"It's my nickname for her. Her real name is Victoria. She was living on the run with her brother. Burns is a seeker."

Klaudia gasped.

"Not a real seeker. He just tells the other souls that he is, so they won't question why he doesn't go to work on a daily basis. Seekers keep their own hours—and, as it turns out, the area constables call him when they capture humans, so he can transport them to the where they need to go. They never question him. He picks them up, drives them around and then returns through town a few hours later on his way home. The humans end up on our mountain. That's how we got Gina and her friend, Holly. Victoria was holed up at a campground. They called Burns to capture her. Burns took me, Ian, and Evan with him. Tori thought we were all souls, and she shot Ian while trying to protect her little brother."

"So, your family on the mountain keeps growing. Are there many babies?"

"No, not on the mountain. We have several couples, but everyone is afraid to raise a family. Melanie is pregnant. She's due about the same time you are. It was not a planned pregnancy. When Melanie got her body back, she and Jared celebrated. Next thing you know, Mel was pregnant, Jared was pissed off. Wanda was Mel's biggest supporter. She wants children with Ian, just not right away. My sister has been considering a baby as well. I just found out that she lost a baby recently. She didn't tell me. I guess I'm not supposed to worry."

"Do you want children?"

"I don't know. I can't even decide if I'd make a good husband never mind a good father. I have no problem running the mountain and making decisions that affect the people who live there, but my own life is a shambles."

"Well, you could marry Nadia. I know she loves you."

"Unfortunately, while I care for Nadia, I don't love her."

"What about Gina? Do you love her?"

"I do."

"Then what's the problem?"

I put my head down. "You'll laugh."

"No, I won't."

"Remember when I said that Wanda is special?"

"You love Ian's soul?"

I didn't answer.

"Oh, Nate. That's terrible!"

"There's more."

"Please don't tell me the soul is having your baby!"

"No. I've never gotten that far with her. I came close once when she and Ian had broken up, but…"

"She broke your heart."

I chuckled. "It's like being run over by a Mack truck."

"You can't get over her."

"No. So, even though I love Gina and I know she loves me, I don't know if I can give her what she so desperately wants from me. Then there's Tori."

"Tori? The girl who shot Ian?"

"Yeah."

"You love her, too?"

"More like a friend with benefits but…"

"But what?"

"Tori loves me and Gina's got Evan and…"

Klaudia suddenly sat down. "I feel dizzy."

"Is it the baby?"

"No, it's your life. How did you end up in such a mess?"

"That's just it. I don't know. Gina and I were just fine having our little private affair and then Ian tried to kill Wanda and they broke up and I thought I had my chance..."

"Whoa! Ian tried to kill Wanda?"

"Yeah, he thought she ran off to marry Kyle."

"Kyle—the guy who has his own soul, Sunny?"

"Kyle is Ian's brother and he has a history of stealing Ian's girlfriends."

"You're all crazy, you know that?"

"I guess we are. All I know is Gina started seeing Evan since I couldn't give her what she wants, but sometimes we still…"

So, she cheats on Evan to be with you."

"What can I say? Gina and I are cut from the same mold."

"So, what's the deal with you and Victoria?"

"I made it very clear to her that we were nothing more than friends, but once I slept with her; things changed."

"Now she wants you to herself."

"She does, but…"

"But you love Wanda—and Gina."

"You see my situation?"

"I could just cut your dick off for you. You said you've got healing medicine, so you won't die."

"I'm pretty sure Nadia would be tempted to kill you."

"Okay, let's say all three girls are in a room together. No competition from any guys. Which one are you going to?"

"Wanda, every time."

"Okay, so now you are with Wanda. Are you happy?"

"I don't know. I still haven't slept with her."

"Let's say she's fantastic in bed. Are you happy?"

I smiled. "I'm ecstatic."

"What if she's just okay in bed? Are you happy?"

"I suppose I am. Wanda's a great girl."

"Is Gina good in bed?"

"Gina is the best I've ever had. She just blows my mind."

"So that's why you can't get her out of your head. What draws you to Victoria?"

"You mean besides the fact that she could shoot me in the head at fifty yards? Her friendship. She's always there when I really need someone."

"I'm glad I'm not you. For the record though, I like Gina. She's sweet and she seems very intelligent."

"She is. And she's gone back to school. She wants to teach the next generation. All the girls are smart. Tori is also an artist. The stuff she draws is phenomenal. Wanda's been to ten planets including this one. She's ten thousand years old."

"I wish I could go to your mountain."

"Why don't you?"

"Dominik would never agree."

"That's too bad. I think you would both love it. You'd probably get along with my sister and her husband and Rachel and Rob."

"We should get back. Dinner's probably ready."

"Have Niko and Nadia been close?"

"They've always been close."

"You know what I mean."

"I think the fact that they both have hopes of going to the mountain has kept them from going to the place you fear."

"Good. Keep working on Stanislaw."

"I will."

I hugged her. "You take care of yourself."

"I will. I hope you resolve your love life."

"I think once Wanda says 'I do', it will close that chapter for me, and maybe I will be able to move on."

"I hope so, for your sake."

We reentered the camp where dinner was cooking. Edyta had prepared a big pot of beef stew. Considering that Stanislaw seemed a little cranky, I decided not to push the issue of having Nadia and Niko come to the mountain. At this point, I was already in deep trying to sort out my feelings for Gina and Tori. Adding Nadia to the mix would just be inviting insanity. Face it, Nadia would probably cling to me at first. I honestly don't know how she would react to seeing new people. She had been with her gypsy family for so long; it was possible that she might become withdrawn. Then again, it was Nadia. She'd probably be running naked from the cave to the house as free spirited as she was.

I sat and ate my stew quietly.

Edyta picked up on my somber mood. "Is something wrong, Nate?"

"No, I just don't want to say anything to rile up the guys. It seems like the 'souls' are a touchy subject for you all. I guess I see things differently than you because I haven't had to scavenge for food or live in constant fear of being discovered since I already have a soul I trust on my side."

"What if this Burns decided to turn you in?" Stanislaw asked.

"Then he'd be losing his family. We have lived together in peace and friendship for five years. He even has a human girlfriend now."

"I don't want Nadia sleeping with a soul."

"There are no souls left for Nadia to sleep with. Burns is the only male and he has Lily. Trust me, Nadia would love a human." I never told them about Ice and it seemed it was a secret I should keep.

"Papa, I love Nathan. He's not a soul."

"Stupid girl! He's already married."

"Don't call her stupid," I pleaded.

"She is my child. I'll call her what I want."

I put down my bowl of stew. "I have a headache. I think I'll go lie down. If you don't want my company, I'll leave tonight."

"Fine! No is forcing you to stay here," Stanislaw barked.

"Very well. A few hours sleep and I'll be on my way."

"NO!" Nadia screamed. "I hate you Papa!"

Nadia took off inside the mine.

"Nadia!" Stanislaw called.

"Leave her," Ludmilla ordered.

I shook my head solemnly and followed Nadia into the mine. She was already in her room on her bed crying. I knelt down next to her and placed my hand on her back.

"I didn't mean to piss him off."

"I know. He's been really cranky lately."

"Look. I'll be back in a few weeks. I told Klaudia that I would return and bring plenty of supplies to get you through the winter in case I can't make it back for a while."

"Why wouldn't you be able to come back?"

"You know how the winters are around here. It could be two months or longer before I can get back after Christmas."

"Knock-knock, can I come in?" It was Ludmila.

"Sure, Ludmila."

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry for how Stanislaw acted today. He hasn't been feeling well. I don't know what's wrong with him. He won't say."

I drew in a deep sigh. "I have something that will help. Do you think you can get him to take it?"

"I don't know."

"Let's try."

I rose from the mattress and grabbed my coat. I made my way through the mines to the entrance. I climbed into the back of the truck and opened the tool box in the bed of the truck. There was a small bag inside that carried No Pain, Heal, Clean, Deep Heal, and Smooth. I walked back to the campfire.

"Klaudia, remember what we talked about today?"

"Yes, of course."

"Okay, Stanislaw is apparently in some kind of distress. I'm going to see if I can help him."

"Okay."

I turned to Stanislaw. "Your wife says you aren't feeling well. Before I give you something to take away any pain you have, I need to know where the pain is. Is it due to an injury? Is it in your bones? Or is it something inside of you?"

"It's my foot."

"Can I see it?"

"Make the others leave."

"I just need one other person. I'd like that person to be Klaudia."

He looked at Klaudia. "You will tell no one?"

"No, Papa."

"Ludmila, take the others inside," Stanislaw instructed.

Stanislaw took off his shoe and then his sock. What I saw practically made me sick to my stomach. His toes were gangrene.

"Jesus! Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Klaudia began to throw up in the bushes.

"I cut my foot about a month ago. I hoped it would get better. It didn't."

"I don't know what I can do for this. Your toes—the flesh is beyond repair. Are you in pain?"

"Yes, I am in pain all the time."

"I have medication that will take away the pain, but I cannot heal what is already dead. We need to cut off your toes."

"Then what?"

"Let me make a phone call." I pulled my phone from my pocket. I dialed Burns.

"Hey Nate, how are things in gypsyland?"

"Not good. I need your help."

"What's the problem?"

"I have a guy here with two black toes. I'm pretty sure it's gangrene, but I don't know much about it. Can you fire up your computer and help me out?"

"Yeah, let me call you back."

"How long?"

"Twenty minutes?"

"Okay."

I hung up. "He's going to call me back." I reached into the bag. "Klaudia, come here."

She was sobbing. "I can't. I can't look at that."

I looked at Stanislaw. "Who's the strongest here? I mean emotionally?"

"Aleksander."

"Klaudia, get him."

"Remember, you promised," Stanislaw reminded her.

A minute later, Aleksander returned.

"Klaudia said you needed me," he announced and then his eyes fell upon the necrotic toes. "Oh my God!" A pallor spread across his face.

"Are you going to throw up?" I asked.

"I don't know. Is he going to die?"

"Not if we can cut off his toes and heal the wound."

"Are you insane?"

"A little bit, yes, but I've got wonder drugs to help us. I just can't cure his toes. I'm waiting for Burns to do some research on this. He's supposed to call me back. I can take away his pain."

"I can take away my own pain," Stanislaw announced. "Just give me a bottle of vodka."

"Let's try this my way first, okay?"

I held up the bottle I pulled from the bag. "This is what the souls call 'No Pain.' It will take away all of the pain you are feeling."

"How do you know it works?" Stanislaw asked.

"Let's just say I once pissed someone off and he decided to break my jaw and my nose. I couldn't even open my mouth. They shoved this little slip of paper through my teeth and the pain left me within a minute."

"You're telling me the truth?"

"Why would I lie? I could walk away and you'll die. The infection will spread into your blood supply and kill you."

"Okay. Give it to me."

"I'll give it to you under one condition."

"What?"

"Know that just because you feel better does not mean you are healed. The absence of pain is just that. I still need to cut off your toes."

"Fine."

I pulled a single slip of No Pain from the bottle and placed it on his tongue.

"Give it a minute."

I could tell just by the look on his face that he was feeling better.

"My foot feels numb. The pain—it's gone."

"You see? I didn't lie." My phone rang. I picked it up quickly. "Burns?" "Gangrene is bad. It says here, Gangrene is a serious…"

"Hold on. I want Stanislaw to hear this." I put my phone on speaker. "Go ahead."

The encyclopedia says gangrene is a serious and potentially life-threatening condition that arises when a considerable mass of body tissue dies. This may occur after an injury or infection, or in people suffering from any chronic health problem affecting blood circulation. The primary cause of gangrene is reduced blood supply to the affected tissues, which results in cell death. Gangrene is caused by infection or ischemia, such as by bacteria or by thrombosis. It is usually the result of critically insufficient blood supply and is often associated with diabetes and long-term smoking. This condition is most common in the lower extremities. The best treatment for gangrene is revascularization which is the restoration of blood flow to the affected organ, which can reverse some of the effects of necrosis and allow healing. Other treatments include debridement and surgical amputation. The method of treatment is, in general, determined depending on location of affected tissue and extent of tissue loss.

Dry gangrene begins at the distal part of the limb due to ischemia, and often occurs in the toes and feet of elderly patients due to arteriosclerosis. Dry gangrene is mainly due to arterial occlusion. There is limited putrefaction and bacteria fail to survive. Dry gangrene spreads slowly until it reaches the point where the blood supply is adequate to keep tissue viable. The affected part is dry, shrunken and dark reddish-black, resembling mummified flesh. The dark coloration is due to liberation of hemoglobin from hemolyzed red blood cells, which is acted upon by hydrogen sulfide produced by the bacteria, resulting in formation of black iron sulfide that remains in the tissues. The line of separation usually brings about complete separation, with eventual falling off of the gangrenous tissue if it is not removed surgically, also called autoamputation.

Dry gangrene is actually a form of coagulative necrosis. If the blood flow is interrupted for a reason other than severe bacterial infection, the result is a case of dry gangrene. People with impaired peripheral blood flow, such as diabetics, are at greater risk of developing dry gangrene.

The early signs of dry gangrene are a dull ache and sensation of coldness in the affected area along with pallor of the flesh. If caught early, the process can sometimes be reversed by vascular surgery. However, if necrosis sets in, the affected tissue must be removed just as with wet gangrene. That's about it."

"Thank you. I think we've got what we need."

"No problem. Good luck."

"Thanks, buddy."

"Nate?"

"Yeah, Burns."

"I'd double dose him on the No Pain just to be on the safe side."

"I hear ya."

"I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks. I'll call you later."

I disconnected and looked at Stanislaw and Aleksander. "You know we have to take off those toes."

Stanislaw stared at his foot. "How will you stop the bleeding?"

"I have a few more tricks in my bag. First I'm going to give you something the souls call 'Clean.' I'm going to put it right on your foot. It's a spray. Then I'm going to use 'Heal.' It, too, is a spray. If any tissue is not dead, this should heal it, so we won't cut off anything that is salvageable. Finally, I'm doing to have you swallow 'Deep Heal'. If this problem is due to diabetes, and I'll bet it is, deep heal will cure you for now. I don't think it can be cured forever simply because it is something that is inherited, but I think if we give you a regular dose of Deep Heal, we might be able to make you a lot healthier than you are now."

"When did you become a doctor?"

"I'm not a doctor, but I did go to college and my room mate was pre-med. He used to use me to help him study."

"Okay, show me what you can do."

I took the clean and sprayed it on his foot. I tried to get it everywhere. "Aleksander, go get me the sharpest knife you have and a couple of clean towels if you've got some."

Aleksander took off leaving me and Stanislaw alone.

"Why are you doing this for me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I was mean to you and I told you to leave."

"You are human like me. We are a family whether we are living in a mine, or in a cave on a mountain, or in caverns in the desert. Every human life is precious. I think I can help you. I wish I had known sooner."

I pulled the Heal from the bag and began to spray the foot. I immediately saw improvement in the gangrenous tissue.

"Wow! That's amazing. Look at my foot it's getting better!"

"Except those two toes. I'll have Aleksander spray the Heal on the foot as soon as I cut off the toe. It will heal the wound and with luck you'll be up and walking fine by morning."

"Maybe you won't have to cut."

"Those two are still black. Like I said, the tissue is gone."

Aleksander returned with Dominik.

"What is he doing here?"

"I thought I might need him to help hold you down," Aleksander explained. "Hey your foot looks a lot better."

Dominik looked at the foot. "Holy shit. That's disgusting."

"It was worse before," Aleksander pointed out.

"I sprayed the Heal on his foot. What could be saved has already healed. Okay, how are we going to do this?"

"You gonna do the cutting?" Aleksander asked.

"I guess."

"Okay, me and Dominik will hold him. You cut."

"I need you to spray the Heal on the foot as soon as I remove the toes."

"I can do that," Aleksander replied.

"All right." I pulled another slip of No Pain from the bottle. "Like Burns said, just to be on the safe side."

Stanislaw opened his mouth, and I placed the No Pain on his tongue.

"Feeling good?"

"Never better."

"Okay, I think this is better if you don't see it. Cover his eyes with the towel."

Dominik covered Stanislaw's eyes with a towel. Then he ordered Dominik to hold his legs. Stanislaw had to bend his knee and place his foot flat on the towel. Aleksander held the foot still. I spray clean on the knife and the foot. Then I took a deep breath. _Give me strength to do this. _I slid the knife through the dead skin easily and hit bone. I felt like I was going to puke. I felt for the joint and pushed down as hard as I could. I heard the knife push through the muscle and I heard a crunch. I felt the bile rise up into my throat. The toes were severed.

I puked. Stanislaw sprayed the Heal.

"It's working!" he yelled.

I felt dizzy. I had to get up and walk away.

"You did it!" Dominik squealed. "His foot looks great!"

"I need to wash my hands."

I walked down to the lake. It was dark, but I didn't care. I heard Aleksander coming up behind me. He was carrying a flashlight and a bar of soap. He walked with me. I squatted at the edge of the lake and dipped my hands into the freezing cold water. Aleksander handed me the soap.

"You saved my father."

"I'm glad I was able to."

"When Niko turns eighteen, he can go with you to the mountain. I'll try to talk Stanislaw into letting Nadia go before then."

"Thank you."

We walked back to the campsite and everyone was there staring at Stanislaw's foot.

"You cut off his toes!" Ludmila cried.

"Mama, he would have died. Here let me show you his toes." Aleksander took her by the arm and led her away from camp to a tree where he had obviously placed them till morning.

I heard her crying.

"I need a drink."

Nadia ran to me and threw her arms around me. "Klaudia said she thought he was going to die. Thank you for saving him."

Dominik handed me a bottle of vodka. I took a long pull. I felt my body heat up quickly and I had to gasp for breath as I pulled the bottle away.

"How are you feeling?" I asked Stanislaw.

"Like a new man. I'm missing a few toes, but better my toes in the ground than my whole body."

I took another swig. The others thanked me with the exception of Ludmila. She was still in shock as was I.

_I just cut off a man's toes! _I took another swig of vodka.


	56. Chapter 56

**So, I know a lot of people are not football fans. I am and I used to live in Rutherford, New Jersey, so I'll be at the TV screaming my brains out for the Giants, but I didn't want to forget all of you Nate fans who would rather read this chapter than watch football. This is for all of you.**

**And I just wanted to let you all know that one of my FanFic readers who read For the Love of Brynn has graciously created a fan club for my book on FanPop. I am very honored that she would do this for me. Thank you, Barbie. You are a very special young lady. I hope one day we can talk face to face.**

LONGING FOR HOME

11-14-2002 – I woke up this morning still reeling in the after affects of a bottle of vodka. Nadia is not here. She must have gotten tired of waiting for me to come out of my drunken stupor. I don't usually drink to get drunk, but then again, I don't usually cut off a man's toes. Yeah, last night me and Stanislaw got into it over of all things, Burns. He's a soul and because of that Stanislaw cannot see him as a trusted individual. He is very close minded and that just pisses me off. Rather than get into an argument over it, I told him I would simply leave. He was fine with that. His wife came to me as I tried to calm Nadia and said that he hadn't been feeling well and was the reason for his crankiness. I decided to find out what was wrong with him since I had a full bag of medical supplies at my disposal.

He showed me his foot and it was nothing short of appalling. Dry gangrene had set into his foot probably due to diabetes. A quick call to Burns provided the info to validate my suspicions. I healed what I could, but his big toe and his second toe needed to be amputated.

It's one of the most difficult things I ever had to do. I hope I never have to do it again; which reminds me, I still need to give him some Deep Heal to hopefully send his diabetic state into remission for a while. I'm not sure if it is something that can actually be cured, since diabetes in itself is the body's inability to use the insulin it produces properly. In essence, it's a defect. However, I'm hoping that the Deep Heal will cure anything that is caused by the diabetes like cardiovascular disease, kidney disease, and glaucoma.

I was supposed to leave last night, but I didn't. I think tonight I will definitely go. I'm missing my people on the mountain, especially my girls.

Nadia appeared at the entrance to her room. "I saw the light on. I don't want to disturb you if you're writing."

"It's okay. I was just finishing up."

"Mama saved you some breakfast. She said she wanted to see you."

_Great. Last thing I remember last night was her crying over the loss of her husband's toes. I suppose now's as good a time as any to face the music._

"How _is_ Stanislaw?"

"He went off to hunt with Aleksander. He hasn't gone hunting in such a long time."

"Good."

I was still wearing yesterday's clothes. I needed to bathe. During the winter months, bathing required carrying buckets of water to the mine to be heated at the fire and then poured into a large tub that was in one of the empty corridors. I had no idea where they had gotten this tub. When the user was done, they simply pulled the plug and let it empty into the ground where it absorbed. Not the most sanitary disposal, but they _were_ living in a mine. Back in the days before Burns, we did the same thing. One of the storage rooms had a crack that led to something lower. Whether it was more cave or water or dirt, I didn't know, but running water went through the crack and disappeared. Our water supply stemmed from a stream not far from the cave. Whether or not our bath water ended up in that stream, I didn't know either. I suppose in this case ignorance is bliss.

"Do you suppose I could bathe today?"

"Sure, we can bathe together," she said enthusiastically.

I stood, pulled her into my arms, and kissed her on the cheek. "Good."

I grabbed my toothbrush, toothpaste, and a towel. I took Nadia by the hand and we walked out to the entrance of the mine. As soon as I appeared Ludmila rushed to me, threw her arms around me, and hugged me tight. "Thank you for saving my husband. Aleksander told me what your friend said."

"I'm just glad that I had the nerve to do it."

"Come. I have breakfast for you."

"I want to get some water for you to heat. I'd like to bathe if you don't mind."

Ludmila laughed. "You bathe frequently."

"It's habit especially if I am sharing a bed with someone like your beautiful daughter."

"Nadia does not care if you are clean," she responded.

"I care."

"We are going to bathe together," Nadia said proudly.

Ludmila reached behind her and handed me two buckets. She handed Nadia a single bucket. "Hurry or your breakfast will be ruined."

Nadia and I walked swiftly to the lake. It was a cold day, in the forties. I still had to go into the water to fill the buckets. I sat at the edge of the lake and removed my sneakers and my socks and rolled my pants up as high as I could. I stepped into the chilly water and my legs immediately began to throb from the cold. I moved quickly filling the first bucket. Nadia was standing at the edge waiting to retrieve the first bucket. She dropped the second bucket into the water and then grabbed the full bucket from me. We repeated this with the second bucket. I sloshed out of the water with the third bucket and sat on the ground. My toes were numb. Nadia knelt at my feet and dried each leg and foot with the towel.

"That shit's cold."

"I know. This is how Papa cut his foot."

She helped me put on my socks, and I slid my feet into my shoes. She tied them.

"Better?" she asked.

"Yes. I want to brush my teeth before we go back."

I used the water in the bucket to rinse. As we walked back to the mine I realized that Nadia was much more subdued than she had been in the past.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. Usually, you are so exuberant. You just seem a little—reserved."

"I don't know what exuberant means."

"Happy, excited. Usually, you're all over me."

"You have a wife. I am just grateful that she allows you to pleasure me still."

"Ah, I see. Gina is a good person. She knows what it's like to live in a desperate state, and she's generous about sharing her good fortune. She looks at me as a gift."

"One day, I hope I can return the favor."

"If you make it to the mountain, I think she will be very happy."

"I pray every day that Stanislaw will one day let me go."

"Klaudia says she will help to convince Stanislaw to let you go."

"I wish Klaudia could go."

"I wish you all would give up this mine and return to the mountain with me."

"I know."

We entered the campsite. Ludmila took the buckets and placed them in the fire. The gypsies always kept a good fire going since it was the only source of warmth they had.

I sat and ate my breakfast of sausage and eggs. Aleksander and Stanislaw returned as I was finishing my breakfast.

"Stanislaw! Good to see you up and moving around."

"I feel great. I even made love to Ludmila last night."

Ludmila slapped him on the shoulder. "Shut up, old man!"

"You didn't call me old last night!" he teased.

I couldn't contain my smile. "It's the No Pain. Besides the fact that it takes away the pain, it also enhances your mood. You had a double dose. I can see why you pleased your lady."

"Maybe you could leave the bottle with us?" he asked with a sly smile.

"I was intending to leave the bottle, but it's not supposed to be used to get you in the mood. It is for pain. I also forgot to give you the Deep Heal last night. I believe that you're a diabetic, and you haven't done anything to maintain a proper sugar level, so chances are you have other problems besides you foot. Your blood pressure may be high and you may be putting undue stress on your heart. How's you eyesight?"

"The last few years, not so good. Why do you think I take Aleksander with me when I hunt? He's a crack shot."

"Well, the Deep Heal may help your eyesight as well. Do you know where the bag is?"

"Klaudia has it," Aleksander replied.

"Where are Klaudia and Dominik?"

"Dominik had watch again last night. He's sleeping. She lies with him sometimes."

"Nadia, would you go and see if you can get the bag?"

"Sure."

As soon as Nadia left, I addressed Stanislaw. "I'm going to leave tonight."

"No, no. You don't have to leave. I'm sorry about my mood yesterday," Stanislaw replied.

"It's not you. I have a lot going on at the mountain. I want to spend the rest of the afternoon with Nadia, if you don't mind."

"Absolutely," Ludmila replied.

"She's going to be upset," Niko replied.

"I know. That's why I want to tell her when we're alone." I turned to Stanislaw. "Unless you're willing to let her come with me to the mountain," I said with a grin.

Nadia appeared as Stanislaw answered my question.

"Not today, but I will let her go as soon as Niko turns eighteen."

She rushed to her father and hugged him. "Thank you, Papa!"

"You have to promise to come back and visit," he replied.

"Of course I will."

I stood up. "I need to get more water for my bath."

"I'll go with you," Stanislaw replied.

Stanislaw and I emptied the hot buckets of water into the tub and then headed out to retrieve four more buckets of water. I again made my way into the water to fill the buckets. The distant memories of living in this way at the cave gave me deep appreciation for the soul that invaded my life and made living on the mountain so much more bearable. Burns gave us everything. He was as unselfish an individual as there could be. I was glad that he had Lily to make his life complete.

"You know, at the mountain, we have a Jacuzzi," I exclaimed.

"You lie."

"It's true. Burns remodeled his bathroom. It's huge. We have the Jacuzzi, and a shower. He did it for us. He's like a guardian angel and civil servant all rolled into one."

"You really trust this soul?"

"With my life. With the lives of all of my people. He may be a soul, but he is one of us."

"Would you thank him for me—for the drugs that saved me?"

"I'll be sure and do that."

After we placed the additional buckets of water on the fire, I gave Stanislaw the Deep Heal and it was the oddest thing I had ever seen. Stanislaw was a man who usually had a reddish tint to his face. Now his face had a healthy glow to it.

"I feel like I'm forty again!" He turned to Ludmila and smiled an evil smile.

"Oh, no. I am too old," she protested.

"Nate, give her some of that medicine. She might have illness inside of her, too," Stanislaw exclaimed.

I sized up Ludmila. She was in her mid sixties, but the arthritis had already crept into her hands. Living life in the mine had definitely sped up the aging process for Stanislaw, Ludmila, and even Edyta, who seemed to have a persistent cough in the last year.

"You know what? Maybe I _should_ have Ludmila take one of these. Edyta, too."

"There is nothing wrong with me," Ludmila protested.

I took her hand in mine and examined it. "Do your hands hurt?" I asked.

"Yes, but that is old age."

"It can't hurt to try."

"Yes, Ludmila. Don't be such a baby!" he goaded.

"I am not a baby!" she snapped.

"Take the medicine," I pressed.

"Fine!" she conceded.

I took the slip of Deep Heal and placed it on her tongue. It melted quickly.

"See? Nothing," she grumbled.

"Give it a minute."

Suddenly the look on her face changed. It was like magic. I decided then and there that when I got back to the mountain, I was going to force Uncle George to take it as well. I realized that this miracle medicine could prolong human life. Who knows how long we could live?

Ludmila made fists with her hands and then opened them up. Her hands still showed signs of age, but the swollen joints had become smaller. She could move her hands with ease.

"Your hands feel better?" I asked.

"And my knees, and my back. This is…"

"Wonderful, right?" Stanislaw interrupted. Stanislaw wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her. It was a very steamy kiss.

Edyta clapped and laughed. "Now me!" she said with exuberance.

I placed the slip of Deep Heal on Edyta's tongue just as I had done with the others. Edyta was only forty, but I feared that her lungs might have shown signs of cancer from the mines. A minute went by and she took a deep cleansing breath.

"I can breathe again!"

Aleksander stared at her. "Really, you feel better?"

"Oh, Alek. I don't feel tired anymore. I feel—energized!"

So, that afternoon at the mines, everyone retired to the bedroom. No one was tired. Everyone made love…Stanislaw to Ludmila, Aleksander to Edyta, and I bathed with Nadia and then made love to her. Klaudia ended up making dinner with Niko while Roman kept Adrianna busy.

Everyone was in a festive mood at dinner, and that evening, they all wished me a safe trip back to the mountain. The only sad face was that of Nadia.

"I'm sorry, I have to leave you, but duty calls, and to tell you the truth, I miss Gina."

"Tell Gina I am grateful for the time I had with you. Tell her to treat you good."

I smiled. "She does."

"I kissed Nadia one last time. I'll be back before Christmas. I'll bring you a present. Something special."

I jumped into the truck and sped off. Yesterday, I would have left behind a bitter man who may have been dead from sepsis by the time I returned. Today, I left a happy and healthy family behind with high hopes that the ray of sunshine they called Nadia would one day reap the benefits of living on the mountain under the protection of the perfect soul.

I dialed Burns to let him know I was on my way home.

"Hello?"

"Hey, buddy. How are things on the homefront?"

"Kind of quiet. Gina and Evan have been spending a lot of quality time together. I hate to burst your bubble, but I think he took the threat very seriously. You may have ended up pushing them into a more serious relationship."

"Honestly, I kind of expected it. What about Victoria?"

"She has been asking me all day if you've called. I told her about the call last night, and she seemed pissed off that she missed you. I tried to tell her that it was the situation, not that you didn't want to talk to her. I told her that you said you'd call. The last time she checked with me was about four o'clock. She said she was taking Blake out for target practice, and she stormed off in a huff."

"Well, where is she now?"

"I don't know. Come to think of it, I didn't see her at dinner, either."

My phone beeped indicating that my battery was running low. "Shit. My phone is about to die. Would you tell her I'm coming home tonight? And that I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to talk to her?"

"If I see her."

"Okay, thanks. I'll see you in the morning."

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"How is your guy with the gangrene?"

"He's feeling better than he has in years, and he has you to thank for it. I'll tell you all about it when I get home."

"Okay. Drive safe."

"Always." I disconnected and powered down the phone. It was better to save what little juice I had left in case of an emergency.

I spent the next six hours thinking about the three women in my life. There wasn't really much to think about when it came to Wanda. She loved Ian and she was going to marry him. All my machinations were for naught. She made no secret that she had feelings for me, maybe she even loved me, but Ian was the guy she had chosen, and I didn't see her changing her mind.

Gina was more of a dilemma. I knew without a doubt that she loved me, but my heart and my head fought constantly over her. In my heart, I knew I loved her, almost as much as I loved Wanda. _Almost._ A simple six letter word that made all the difference between happiness and misery. Gina deserved someone who would put her first, _always. _As much as I wanted to be that guy, I knew I wasn't. It was painful. Spending the day with her on her birthday was as much a gift to me as it was to her, maybe more. It was my last hurrah, especially now that Burns had relayed the fact that in my absence, Evan and Gina had spent the last few days working on their relationship.

That left Victoria. It was funny. Just a few months ago, I was perfectly content being the 'single' guy on the mountain and having marathon sex with Nadia every couple of months. Now, Victoria had fought her way into my heart. I loved her although I wasn't in it for the long haul and she knew it. Because she was more mature than Gina, I knew that she was in the same place that I was. We reached out to each other out of need and although we loved each other, it was different from the love I felt for Wanda or even Gina.

I felt bad that I had promised Tori that I would call her and then didn't. It's not that I didn't want to talk to her. I actually did. Now, according to Burns, she was pissed off at me again. Who knows how she would treat me when I got back? The truth was I liked having Tori as my friend and sometime sex partner.

I arrived at the mountain just after two in the morning. It was a cold night. I quietly entered the house to use the facilities and plug in my phone to be recharged. I poked my head into the bedroom where Burns was asleep. My intention was not to wake him, just to check on him—to make sure everything was okay.

I had an extra set of clothes in my bag since my original intention was to stay longer at the mines, I decided to take a shower because I smelled like the lake—and the mines. I had it in my head that I was going to try and crawl into bed with Victoria. I didn't want sex. I wanted comfort, the kind of comfort that having her in my arms would give me. For me, she was home. I showered quickly and shaved my face. I even put on a little aftershave.

I moved swiftly on the path to the cave. Everything was quiet. Once inside the cave, I grabbed a lantern in the main hall and made my way down the long hall toward the room were Tori and Danny slept. I turned and was dismayed to find the room empty. We had a routine where Danny slept with Blake, Carlos, and Dean whenever we were together. If Danny was sleeping with them, then where was Tori? If she was with Blake, I would assume they would stay in her room—unless—they were in the bunkhouse. _Shit! I've lost her. Two days away from her and she's abandoned me._ The truth was she probably felt abandoned and turning to Blake was completely my own fault. I should have called her. I felt sick to my stomach.

I turned back up the hallway and trudged to my room. I felt defeated. All I wanted to do was climb into my bed and die. I opened the door and the lamp cast its rays into my room. I looked to my bed and there she was! Tori was sleeping in my bed.

I practically ran to her. I turned on the lamp on the nightstand and doused the lantern. I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the hair off her face. She opened her eyes.

"Nate?"

"Hi."

"I hope you don't mind," she said softly as she sat up.

I had no words. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. After a minute I pulled back. "I thought you were sleeping with Blake."

She creased her eyebrows. "Why would you think that?"

"I went to your room because I wanted to hold you in my arms, and you weren't there."

"You went to my room?"

I nodded my head.

"Oh, Nate." She leaned forward to kiss me, and the moment our lips touched, I felt the electricity flow through me.

"I missed you." I whispered.

"But you had Nadia."

"Nadia is a sweet girl, but she really is a girl in a woman's body. You are my best friend besides Burns."

"I feel the same way. I wanted to be near you. Do you want to make love to me?"

"I just want to hold you." I stood up and peeled off my clothes down to my boxers. I pulled back the blankets. Victoria was wearing the most adorable little nightie. I couldn't help but smile. It was so perfect, but it didn't seem like Tori at all.

"What?" she asked.

"It's pink," I replied.

"It's salmon. I'd hoped you'd like it," she said with a frown.

"I do. It's just unexpected. When I think of Xena, warrior princess, I think of leather."

"You want me to be a dominatrix?"

"No, no. I want you to kiss me and then let me hold you, so I can go to sleep. I just drove back from the gypsies after a full day with them. I'm really tired."

"Sure, right. Sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. I'm thrilled that you're here. To tell you the truth, when I thought you were with Blake, I felt a little sick to my stomach." I lifted her chin, so I could look into her eyes. "And you look very pretty tonight." I kissed her again with as much passion as I had left in my exhausted body. I reached over and turned out the light.

Tori snuggled into my body, and I felt content. I closed my eyes to sleep. I was drifting off when I felt Tori's hand brush across my dick. A minute later she did it again. She was gently rubbing my dick over the boxers. Unfortunately, my dick was responding.

"What are you doing?" I asked in a low voice.

"Nothing," she responded.

"Well, stop," I replied in the same low voice.

She stopped. Then she let out a huff and rolled away from me. I spooned her and wrapped my arms around her waist. Again, I was close to drifting off when Tori grabbed my hand and placed it on her breast. It seemed obvious that she wasn't going to give up, and I knew if I didn't give in to her demands, our relationship would be toast. Better to satisfy her and sleep later. After all, I may have had sex six times in the last thirty six hours, but Tori hadn't had any since the last time we were together and honestly, as tired as I was, I couldn't remember when that was.

I let my thumb run across her nipple. She didn't move. I began to caress her breast. I pulled the strap to her nightie off of her shoulder exposing her breast, and I went back to caressing it in the darkness while I kissed her back and shoulder. She let out a sigh, but she still didn't move. I rolled her onto her back.

"You win." I kissed her, and she finally responded. I knew she was holding back out of spite. I pushed my tongue into her mouth, and we tasted each other as our tongues slid slowing in a circle around each other. My hand slid gently from her breasts to her abdomen and then between her legs. She responded by kissing me harder. My dick was fast approaching the 'ready for anything' stage. She pulled my boxers back allowing my dick to emerge in all of its glory.

"Suck it," I ordered. She obeyed. Tori pulled the blanket back and attacked my semi-hard penis. She knew just how to satisfy me. I tried to keep my wits about me. I didn't want to shoot my load into her mouth like last time. When I got to the point where I was afraid I might lose control I stopped her.

"What's wrong?" she asked as I tucked my hand under her chin and pulled her off of me.

"Nothing. I was really close. I think it's my turn."

"You don't have to…" I kissed her lips and pulled her so she'd scoot up and lie on her back. I parted her legs and kissed her pussy. Her sweet folds smelled good and tasted even better. She had obviously been yearning for my touch because she came pretty damn quickly. My hard-on had begun to wane as I concentrated on pleasing her. When she began to squirm and coo, that's when my cock got rock hard again, and I wanted her.

As soon as she pushed me away, I crawled over her and smiled proudly. "You like that?"

She grabbed my dick. "I like this." She guided me into her. I bit my lower lip as I felt the warmth of her vagina. I reached over and turned on the light. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Protection. You wouldn't want to get pregnant, would you?"

"Not unless you want to marry me."

I ignored her response and placed the condom over my dick. "Besides, I want to see your face."

"I thought you'd be thinking of Wanda or Gina."

"Victoria, you are very pretty. You are the only one I think about when I am with you."

"Really?"

I leaned in and kissed her gently. "Yes," I whispered.

I stared into her eyes as I pumped my way into a frenzied state. I caressed her breasts, and she placed her hands on my face. She was taking deep breaths with each plunge. I continued to smile at her because I was happy—and glad that she had talked me into this. When I finally got to that place were there was no turning back, I threw my head back and my body tensed. The feeling of exultation ran through my body before it reached my dick. I squeezed her shoulders as I let my load shoot into her. I spent a minute lying on top of her reveling in the sensation that ejaculation gave me.

Finally, I slid my way out of her vagina and off the bed, so I could peel the condom off of my dick and toss it in the trash. I thought I should make it clear to her my stand on pregnancy and marriage.

"For the record, if I were to knock you up, I would marry you because I would never leave you or a baby in the lurch, _but_ I would rather choose the woman I want to marry because I truly feel that I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

"And that's not me," she replied.

"I'm not ready to marry anyone. All I can say is I missed you and I'm glad you are here with me right now."

"I hate being insecure."

"Well, I give you every reason to be, and I'm sorry for that. I'll try to make you feel more secure in our relationship."

"Relationship?"

"Yeah."

"Are you doing this because you're feeling insecure about Blake?"

I winked at her. "Let's go to sleep."

I put on my boxers, and she put on her panties. I turned out the light, and we nestled into each others arms.

"How did things go with the gypsies?" she asked.

"It was an experience I'd really like to forget, but I don't think I ever will."

"What happened?"

"Well Klaudia is pregnant, and she's pretty close to her due date, so I thought I'd bring some of the soul's healing medicines to the mines and show her what they can do in case she has a problem with her delivery."

"Oh my God! Did you deliver the baby?"

"No, darlin'. That I wouldn't have minded."

"Then _what_?"

"I was singing the praises of having Burns in my life, really all of our lives. I was hoping to convince Stanislaw that Nadia would be so much better off here on the mountain."

"You really love you her, don't you?"

"I care about her. Stanislaw has always said that she can come to the mountain provided I made her my wife."

"Back to the marriage thing."

"Precisely. Did you know that I once got her pregnant?"

Tori reached over and turned on the light. "You have a kid?"

"No. It happened a long time ago when I first discovered them. I was their prisoner and Nadia—well it was me, Evan, and Carl. Evan was just a kid. He was only fifteen at the time. Nadia was only seventeen, and she had eyes for me. She announced that I was hers and took me to her room. I didn't know what the hell was going on. I figured she was like a black widow, you know; fuck 'em, then kill 'em. I didn't know she was a virgin. I screwed her brains out in the hopes she'd let me live."

"Well you're still here, so I guess you gave her the full treatment."

"I never went down on her. I just screwed her. It took me forever to cum the first time because I was so damn nervous."

"You got her pregnant?"

"I did. They let us go after they realized that we were no threat to them, and I promised I would return in a month and bring them supplies. I returned a month later just like I promised. I brought condoms not realizing that it was too late. The second time I went back Ludmila announced that her daughter was pregnant. I'll tell you, I shit a brick. I was only twenty two, and the last thing I wanted was to marry Nadia. I think the only reason they didn't force me to marry her on the spot was because they liked getting food and supplies. I told them I needed to go home and tell my family that I was going to be a father."

"I'd never disappointed my mother until then. She was not happy with me. I was afraid to go back. I sent Carl and Evan in my place because I was too chicken to face them. They returned and informed me that Nadia lost the baby. I felt like shit because it was Carl who had to tell me instead of hearing it from Nadia herself. The next time I went back, she acted like it was no big deal. I had the foresight to at least bring condoms anyway, and she attacked just like she had done on my previous trips."

"Wow. You could be father."

"Anyway, Klaudia has lost a few babies as well. I think living in the mine is not conducive to carrying a baby. Must be something in the air or maybe the water that causes them to miscarry. I brought the meds to Klaudia in case she has a rough childbirth."

"Right, the story."

"So—me and Stanislaw were arguing about the merits of having a soul in our lives. He is so dead set against it. I was pissed because if it wasn't for Burns, the gypsies wouldn't be getting their supplies these last five years. So, rather than fight with him, I told him I'd just leave. He seemed fine with that. Nadia was pissed. I went to her room to try and comfort her. That's when Ludmila told me that something was wrong with Stanislaw. She said she didn't know what was wrong, but she knew he was in pain. I had the meds, so I approached him. I told him I could help him—if he'd let me."

"So, did he?"

"Yes. It was his foot. He had gangrene."

"Oh, my God."

"Tell me about it. I was nauseas. Klaudia was the only one with me and she threw up. I did the best I could with the drugs, but two of his toes were gone. I had to amputate them. I am no doctor and let me tell you, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life."

"I could probably do it."

"Yeah, I bet you could have. I wish you had been there with me."

"Well, if you remember, I _did _ask to go."

"I know."

"Well, maybe next time you should take me with you in case you need someone to help deliver that baby."

"I'll keep that in mind." I looked at the clock on my nightstand. "Can we go to sleep now? It's after four."

"I'm sorry. I've kept you up, haven't I?"

"In the best way, love." I kissed her and turned out the light.

11


	57. Chapter 57

**So, I should have posted this yesterday, I know, but FanFic was down for the second time this week. It was a bit aggravating, but it's all good. Not a lot to say. Not much being said. So, I guess Happy Valentine's Day to all of you…I hear Nate's available…**

TAKEN—FOR A MOMENT

11/15/2002 – I woke up this morning from a dream. The worst part was Tori isn't here and that is what was most disturbing. She was with me last night, but I guess she didn't feel like waiting for me to wake. At least, that's what I hope. The dream still has me in a state. I want to write it down before I forget. It went something like this, I was asleep in my bed when a knock on my door woke me. "Come in!" I called out. The door opened and I heard Gina's voice. "Hey, sleepyhead. Are you going to sleep all day on the day you are getting married?" My heart started to beat faster, I turned on the light and as I turned to look at Gina, my eyes popped out of my head. She was pregnant. "Did I do that?" I asked nervously. "What's wrong with you?" "Um, I don't know. I don't remember you being pregnant." "Jesus! I knew that ball hit you too hard. I'm going to kill my husband." "Wait. I'm not marrying you?" "Me? You said you'd never marry me as long as you were in love with Wanda." "You married Evan?" "You really don't have a clue, do you?" I really didn't. "I better get Wanda." "No, please. Tell me what's going on." She sat on the edge of the bed. I'm going to try and write this to the best of my ability. This is what she said. "Okay. You had gone to the gypsies and Evan and I had a huge fight. He said he wouldn't marry me if I was the last person on earth. Of course, I freaked out because it was the same thing you said." I tried to argue with her that I never said that. "Anyway, you weren't here, so I went to Ian's room and I woke him up. I was crying and blithering and all that. He tried to console me and you know, one thing led to another and we did it." I remember my face in the dream. I don't think I blinked for a full minute. All I kept thinking was Ian had sex with _my_ girl. I'll kill him. "Don't look at me like that." She said. Then she continued her story. "After that Ian and I had sex a lot. Wanda was still at the caverns. She didn't know nothing. Ian didn't tell her what was going on. I guess he sort of avoided talking to her. She came back without telling him. She wanted to surprise him. She was the one who got the surprise. She caught us in bed. Needless to say, their relationship was over. She ran straight to you. Anyway, to make a long story short, I got pregnant, shocker there, since I didn't think I could get pregnant. Ian married me and now it's your turn." "I'm marrying Wanda?" "Yes! You got your dream girl!" I remember feeling elated. "I can't believe it." Then I remembered Tori. "What about Tori? How is she with all of this?" I remember Gina's face going very serious. I looked into her eyes. She was holding back tears. I started to panic. "Where's Tori?" "She…" I grabbed Gina's arm. "Tell me!" "She killed herself!" That's when I woke up. Tori wasn't in the bed with me. I started to cry. Real tears. I decided this dream was a warning for me to stop fucking up other people's lives.

There was knock on the door. I closed my journal. I figured if it was Tori, she'd have just walked right in. "Come in!" I called.

The door opened. "Hey sleepyhead. Are you going to sleep all day?" It was Gina. I started to freak out since these were near the exact same words in my dream. She walked in and I immediately stared at her belly. She was wearing a coat.

"Are you pregnant?" I asked abruptly.

"Why? Do I look fat?"

"You're wearing a coat."

"It's cold outside. I just came from school. What's wrong with you?"

"How's Tori?"

"I don't know. I guess she's all right."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry. I just had a bad dream."

"And I was pregnant in your dream? You think you knocking me up is bad?"

"No. I wasn't even the father, but that wasn't the bad part. The bad part was Tori had died."

"Tori is fine. I saw her yesterday. If anything, she was worried about you."

"I guess I should get up. I need to see Burns."

"I wanted to tell you before anyone else did that me and Evan sort of got back together."

"I know. Burns told me when I called."

"Are you mad?"

"No. I'm a little sad, but I know you belong with him."

"So—do you think Evan will ever get me pregnant like in your dream?"

"I don't know, angel. I just hope you can be happy."

"Thanks—I still wear your bracelet."

"Good, 'cause it's a symbol of my love and I'll always love you."

She stood up and hugged me quickly. "I'm gonna go, so you can get dressed. I'm glad you're home."

"Me, too—Gina?"

"Yes?"

I walked over to the bookshelf and grabbed 'Interview with a Vampire'. "Did you want to finish reading it?"

"No, you were going to read it to me, remember?"

"I just thought..."

"Nathan Downey, you are still my friend. I want you to read the book to me. We just shouldn't do it in the bedroom. Maybe in the living room on the couch."

"Okay."

"And I still want those dance lessons."

I smiled. "You know want happens when I hold you close like that."

"I know. Why do you think I still want the dance lessons?"

"You still love me, don't you?"

She smiled and exited the room.

I felt better. I knew I still held a place in Gina's heart. I dressed quickly and headed for the fun house. Gina had come from school which meant it was almost lunch time, and I knew the family would be gathering. I walked in and most of the teens were there doing homework waiting for the lunch to be brought in. Sarah was the first to respond. "Nate! You're back!" She got up and hugged me.

"Hi, princess. It's nice to know you missed me."

"My sister missed you," Danny declared.

"I know. I saw her last night when I got in."

"I thought she stayed with you," Danny replied in a way that transmitted that I better not have kicked her out.

"She did. She was gone when I got up though."

"She's next door. She's been painting the rooms in the bunkhouse."

Burns and Ian entered.

"Our illustrious leader is back!" Ian crowed.

"Yep, I'm back. It was a weird trip."

"Yeah, I heard. Burns told me."

"I learned one very important thing on this trip."

"Yeah? What was that?" Ian asked.

"I learned that Burns is my hero."

Burns looked all embarrassed. "What?"

"You know I look around at how they live there in those mines and I remember how it was in the winters here before you came. We didn't have the luxuries we have now."

"What luxuries? It was Ian's idea to build the fame room and the bunk house. He's the hero."

"I'm not talking about the buildings. I'm talking about the simple things. The things that, thanks to Burns, we take for granted. The ability to bathe without pulling water from a stream, heating it on a fire, pouring it into a tub in the cave and letting it drain into a crack in the floor while you dry and dress as quickly as you can before you freeze your ass off. I'm talking about getting up every morning and taking a crap on a toilet rather than squatting behind a tree in thirty degree weather."

"Sounds kinda rough," Burns replied.

"It is, but that's how they've lived for the last seven years. It's how Tori and Danny lived. You have transformed us from living like people on an extended camping trip to a community. I can't begin to tell you how important you are to me, to all of us."

"Thanks," Burns replied. I gave him a manly hug.

Tori entered the building and caught me hugging Burns. "Damn! More competition?"

I laughed and turned toward Victoria. "You left me this morning. I was all alone when I woke up."

She looked at Burns and then back at me. "So you're turning to Burns for comfort?"

"No. I was thanking him for being the awesome person that he is and making all of our lives so comfortable."

"You know, you're making my head swell," Burns replied.

"Good."

At that moment, Even entered carrying a large pot of soup. "Excuse me! This is hot!"

He was followed by Maria, Aunt Sue, Gina, and Kim. They were all carrying assorted items. Maria and Sue had trays with sandwiches. Gina had bags with paper plates, bowls, paper cups, mayo, mustard, knives, and spoons. Kim was carrying three 2-liter bottles of soda.

"Is there anything else?" I asked.

"There's another pot of soup," Maria stammered as she rushed to put the heavy tray of sandwiches on the table.

"I got it," and with that I rushed back to the house and returned with the large pot of chicken noodle soup. People were already on line taking what they wanted when I placed the pot of soup on the table.

I stood back and waited for everyone to take their food. As the last of them sat down, I spoke up.

"Excuse me, everyone! I want to call an informal meeting. As you all know, I have just returned from a trip to the gypsies. I'm not sure if you are aware, but these gypsies live in a mine. They have no heat, no running water, no toilets, no showers, no refrigeration. It is a very tough life they live. I have spent many a year trying to convince them to come to the mountain and live with us. Fear has kept them from coming. I once again tried to pitch the perks of living on this mountain to them. I let them know that Burns takes good care of us. Stanislaw cited that he could never trust a soul. I was hurt and angry and I nearly walked away from them for good. It was a medical emergency that kept me there, and I realized that no matter how they felt about the man I call my brother, I couldn't just abandon them."

I took a deep breath before I continued.

"I spent a lot of time reflecting on the man who watches over us, who cares for us, who gives us everything we need and more. I thought about George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. They were people who fought for our rights, and they were honored even after their deaths. I would like to propose that we honor this man and proclaim a Burns Living Flowers day."

"Please," Burns replied. "Just call me Burns. I'm not proud of my name."

I smiled at him. "Okay, then Burns of the Mountain day."

"I second that motion," Ian said quickly.

"You can't second it. You're not an official member of the mountain," Hector replied.

"I'm building a friggin' house for my wife! What more do I need to do to become a member of this clan?"

"Nothing," I replied.

"I second it!" Gina cried out. Then she turned to Hector. "Are you going to say that I'm not a member?"

Aunt Sue was already having a private conversation with him. Hector didn't respond to Gina.

"All in favor of proclaiming tomorrow November sixteenth as Burns of the Mountain day, raise your hand."

Everyone with the exception of Hector and Uncle George raised their hands. They were just like Stanislaw—unable to see the good in one soul versus the rest of the world.

"Let it be noted on this day that we have proclaimed Burns of the Mountain day. Tomorrow, Burns is not to lift a finger. Sleep in, take a long bath, go for a walk. Let _us_ take care of _you._"

"I'll give you a nice massage and a haircut," Rachel called out.

"I'll paint your portrait if you'll sit for me," Tori added.

"I'll make whatever you want for breakfast," Gina shouted.

"I'll do your laundry for you," Kim chimed in.

I smiled at all the people who wanted to help by doing something special for him. I was about to sit down when I decided that since I had everyone here together, it was time to address the Ian situation.

"As for the fact that Ian has not been invited as a permanent member of the clan, I'd like to propose that we do just that. Does anyone want to second it?"

"Ian has never even slept in the cave!" Uncle George pointed out.

"And why is that? Because the woman he loves is also a soul and you won't let a soul sleep in the cave. Burns has been so gracious as to offer him a permanent room until the house he is building for his bride is complete."

I looked around the room. "Does anyone here second the motion?"

Both Tori and Maria stood up at the same time. "I second the motion."

The two women I respected most had come to my rescue—again. "Thank you, ladies."

"Let's take a vote. All those in favor of adding this fine man to our clan please raise your hand."

Again all the hands shot up with the exception of Hector and Uncle George.

I walked over to where Ian was sitting and offered my hand to him. "Welcome to the family, brother." Ian stood and hugged me and patted me on the back. "I am honored," Ian replied.

I realized at that moment that I had hugged both Burns and Ian in the last half hour, but I hadn't hugged Tori. My whole intention when I walked out of my room this afternoon was to find her and show her how much she meant to me, but with one thing or another, it never happened. I took a sandwich and dabbled some mayonnaise on it. Then I ladled a cup of soup and grabbed a bottle of soda and a cup and placed it on one of the empty sandwich trays. I walked over to where Victoria was sitting. Blake was sitting to her right and Danny was sitting to her left.

I leaned over Danny and said in a low voice. "Do you mind?" I was hoping he would move, so I could sit next to her.

"Yes, I mind. I'm eating my lunch," he barked.

"Daniel!" she scolded.

"It's okay," I replied, as I kissed the top of her head. "Do me a favor and stick around after lunch. I want to ask you something."

"Sure," she responded. I noticed that Blake looked a little disturbed and Danny looked a lot disturbed. I could only guess that he knew about Blake's crush on her and was rooting for him, since they were friends.

I sat next to Sarah, who had saved a seat for me like she always did. I made light conversation for a few minutes, and then I saw Gina and Evan get up to leave.

"Gina! Can I talk to you for a minute?"

She looked quickly to Evan for approval. "Um, sure."

She walked toward me. I got up and took her by the hand and dragged her to the corner where no one would hear me.

She looked wary. "Nathan, what are you doing?"

"Don't be all nervous. I'm not going to kiss you or anything. I was just wondering, you said you wanted me to teach you how to dance. I want to teach Tori how to dance as well. I thought maybe you could talk Evan into coming around after lunch and I can teach all three of you, and you'll have Evan as a partner, so he won't have anything to bitch about."

"Yeah, we can do that. I'll ask him."

"Good, I'm going to start at two."

"Okay."

I spun around and both Evan and Victoria were glaring at us. The last thing I needed was for Tori to make an issue of this. I went back to my seat and some of the others began to clear out. Megan and Sarah said good-bye and left. Victoria got up and approached me. She sat in the seat next to me, but she was perched with her back to me as if she was ready to bolt.

"I have things I have to do. I'm gonna go," she said. I knew she was saying this because of what she had witnessed between Gina and me.

I wrapped my arms around her neck from behind. "You left me all alone in my bed this morning, and now you want to take off on me again? Did I do something wrong?"

"I just thought you and Gina…"

I cut her off. "Me and Gina are just friends."

"I thought you and I are just friends."

_Touché. _"Can I ask you a question?"

There was a mass exodus now. It wouldn't be long before we were alone.

"What?"

"Have you ever entertained the thought of suicide?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Just answer the question."

"There were times when we were living in the woods, and it seemed hopeless. I thought if I just put the gun to my head…"

"But you didn't."

"Danny was just a little boy. He would have been all alone."

"What about now? He's perfectly safe. He's older and there would always be people to take care of him."

"Nate, I don't want to talk about this."

"Victoria, do you get depressed?"

"Everyone gets depressed. Our world has been taken over."

"That's not what I mean. Do you know I love you?"

"Do you? Do you even know what love is?"

"I know if something happened to you, it would destroy me."

"Would it?"

I grabbed her face and pulled it toward mine. "Yes." I kissed her full on the lips. It wasn't just a kiss; it was a make-out session. I kept kissing her. I heard a few people come in and leave again. I assumed they were the clean up crew. I heard whispers, but I didn't care. I was enjoying this moment with her and I wasn't about to stop for anyone or anything. When we finally stopped kissing I decided to come clean about my conversation with Gina.

"The reason I pulled Gina aside before was because she wants to learn how to dance for the wedding. I thought you might like to learn, so you and I can dance together. You _are_ going to be my date, right?"

"You want me to be your date?"

"No." Now this was the moment of truth for me. "I want you to be my girlfriend."

"Seriously?" She looked a bit shocked.

"Are you good with that?"

She drew in a breath and then blew it out and then drew it in again.

"Tori? I'd understand if you didn't."

"No—I mean, yes. We can be…" I don't think she knew how to put it.

"A couple," I reiterated.

She nodded her head and spoke barely above a whisper. "A couple."

We kissed again and we were in the moment when the door opened and someone cleared their throat.

"I thought we were here to dance?" Gina said sarcastically.

I stopped kissing Tori and smiled at Gina. "We are."

That afternoon, I got to teach both of my ladies to dance. I spent time in the arms of each. With Gina, it was all very platonic, and yet when we looked into each other's eyes, there was no denying the love we felt for each other. With Tori, it was comfortable. At least it was for me. Tori seemed very uncomfortable. I wasn't sure if it was because she was towering over me, or if it was because she wasn't used to showing me attention in public, or if she wasn't sure about accepting my offer to be a couple. After all, I wasn't exactly known to be faithful to any one woman. Maybe it was because she still felt like Gina outranked her. It was for that reason, near the end of the session; I pulled her into my arms and kissed her.

"You did wonderfully," I whispered.

I wasn't sure if Gina was paying attention or not, but I couldn't really worry about her. She had made her choice, and it was probably the right choice. When I woke from my dream, I realized that even though Tori showed strength in protecting her brother, she really needed me. Gina had inner strength and she'd always as she put it 'land on her feet.' I felt good about my decision.

Gina and Evan left and Tori and I were alone. She was quiet.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes," she replied, but it didn't sound like she was telling me the truth.

I decided to let it go for now. We were having a good day, and I didn't to ruin it. "Darlin', I hate to leave you, but I really need to do laundry, and this is my time slot."

"It's okay. I wanted to finish painting that room."

"I'll see you at dinner?"

"Sure. I hope you aren't mad at Danny for the way he acted. I think he's afraid of losing me."

"How is he going to lose you?"

"I think he's afraid I'll move into your room, and then he won't be as close to me."

"Victoria, everyone grows up and moves out, but I don't expect you to move in with me. You can sleep in my room when you want to."

"Thanks. Can I stay with you tonight?"

"Absolutely."

That afternoon, I did my laundry and I spent some quality time with Maria. She knew when I called the meeting at lunch that there was more to the story than I had told, and she wanted to hear it. So, I told her the whole story about the argument and Stanislaw's foot, and the promise to allow Nadia and Niko to come to the mountain once he turned eighteen. I also told her about my dream. She agreed that choosing Victoria at this stage in my life was probably a good thing. She liked Tori. She didn't dislike Gina, but I think she felt that Gina wanted all of me and since she couldn't get that, she wasn't going to choose me. Victoria on the other hand was already a goner. Even though she said had an interest in Blake, Maria felt that Tori was not ready to make that move. She also agreed that she thought Tori had some issues with depression. She had been so alone and so desperate for so long. Even Gina had a man who was willing to die for her when she was being treated like a piece of meat. All Tori ever had was the responsibility of keeping her brother safe and alive. I was the first person in her world that she allowed herself to love. I couldn't hurt her. I wouldn't hurt her. I'd wait for the day when she would hurt me—and she would because I loved her.

At dinner, I sat next to Victoria. I arrived early and made sure I got that seat. Danny sat on the other side. Blake ended up sitting at another table altogether with Ian and Carlos. After dinner, Victoria had dish duty. I kissed her and told her I'd see her later. Ian and I headed for the funhouse and a couple of games of pool. In our discussion on the way, we decided we would resume working on the house. There was still some work to be done on the bunkhouse, but Ian wanted to accomplish as much as he could on the house before Wanda returned since he knew we wouldn't be able to do much with her here and keep it a secret.

We were on our third game of pool when my phone rang. I knew it was Wanda without having to look. Burns was here, and Sunny was off living her life as a soul. "Hey, Beautiful. I suppose you want to talk to Ian."

"If you don't mind."

"You know, you owe me."

"I'll let you take it out in trade," she said happily.

"Oh! You did not just say that!"

She giggled. "I'll give you a great big hug. How about that?"

"Indian giver!"

I put my hand over the phone. "She said I could take it out in trade," I bragged with a huge grin on my face.

"What? Give me that phone!"

"She was only playing. She sounds like she's in a great mood."

Ian practically ripped the phone from my hand.

"Hello, Wanderer?"…"Are you drunk?"…"Then why are you telling Nate he can take it out in trade?"…"Oh."…"Ice? Jeb let you take him?"…"Let me talk to him." There was a long pause before Ian began to speak again. Once he started talking, I wished I could have made him stop. "So, you're out on the road with my fiancée. You know, my brother used to go out on the road with her, and I nearly lost her because of it. I want you to know that just because you will be sleeping in the same bed doesn't mean you can touch her. Do you understand my meaning?" Again there was another pause before he spoke again. "Nothing. Just good luck."…"I love you more." Ian hung up the phone and handed it back to me. I wanted to say something, but I didn't. I just shut my mouth and minded my own business. Instead I let him take his shot and then threw out a benign comment.

"Everything okay?"

"She's got Ice with her on his first road trip."

"Oh. You think you can trust him?"

"If he touches her, I'll kill him."

"That's not what I meant. I meant can we trust him not to turn on us?"

"Oh." He made a face. "Yeah, course. I spent some time with him at the caverns while you were trying to screw my girl, and he's good. I trust him."

"I wasn't trying to _screw_ your girl. I was trying to win her heart. You're the one who fucked up." I slammed my cue down and walked toward the door. I grabbed my coat.

"Nate, I'm sorry. I'm just on edge. They'll be sleeping together tonight and I'm worried."

"Ian, if she sleeps with him, then I'll kill him—but you know she won't. If she didn't sleep with me, she's not going to sleep with him."

Ian smiled. "Thanks, that actually makes me feel better."

We resumed our game, and a short while later, Victoria entered. She stood at the door taking off her coat. She looked at me and nodded. Then I saw her look to Blake who was waving her over. He had saved her a seat at the poker table. She walked over calmly and sat down. I felt the hair rise on the back of my neck when I watched Blake lean in and kiss his tenderly on the cheek. I suddenly felt like Ian. I wanted to kill him. I drew in a deep breath.

Ian must have noticed. He came over and leaned to me. "It's your shot, loverboy."

I made my shot but just barely. I was concentrating more on how I was going to deal with the situation. _Should I go over and announce that she was my girlfriend? I'd look like a dick. No. I could go over and kiss her. Yeah. What if she doesn't kiss me back? Then I'd know she doesn't really want me._

I waited until the game was over before I made my move. Ian beat me and he was feeling good about it even though he knew it was because I was bothered about Tori. Ian reracked the balls. I sauntered over carrying my pool cue.

"Hey, Xena."

"Nate," she replied nonchalantly.

Suddenly, something popped into my head. "Did you make arrangements for Danny tonight?" _Ha! Eat my dust Blake!_

"I forgot."

Blake face twisted into a grin. I felt like I had just crashed and burned, and he was delighted to witness it.

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. "Maybe another night," I said dejected.

"Nate, you can stay in my room. I mean we can still snuggle under the covers."

I smiled. I wanted to smile really big to transmit the '_in your face!_' to Blake, but I didn't.

I cupped my hands under her chin and tilted her head back, so I could see her face. "I'd like that." I kissed her lips. Of course her face was upside down to mine. "This one's for luck." I kissed her again, but I held it for a few moments.

I felt invigorated when I walked away. Everyone at the poker table knew. It wasn't a secret anymore that Tori and I were more than just fuck buddies. I mean it's not like we can screw with Danny in the room, right? So, obviously, we meant more to each other than that.

About eleven o'clock, Tori threw in her hand and announced that she was leaving. "Nate, are you coming?"

I was playing against Carl. He was a tough player. "Yes, dear. Can I finish this game?"

"What is she your wife?" Carl asked in a sarcastic voice.

"No, she's my girlfriend." There, I said it. It felt—strange—but good.

That night Tori and I snuggled under the blankets and made out as quietly as we could. She got me good and horny. I wanted to drag her back to my room and fuck the shit out of her, but I didn't. I respected her wishes. She didn't like leaving Danny alone. I had to remind myself that he was only twelve.

The following morning, I woke up and Danny was already gone.

"Tori, sweetheart, wake up."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, Danny's already gone. I need to go, too. I promised Ian I would help him with the house he's building for Wanda."

"Okay, I need to get up, too. I had a great idea last night on a mural I want to paint in one of the rooms in the bunkhouse."

So we got up, went to the house for breakfast together, and then went our separate ways. I didn't see her at lunch. I didn't see Blake either, and that worried me. I tried not to let it consume me. I was turning into a jealous boyfriend, and I didn't like it. It was late afternoon, when my phone rang—obviously Wanda. It was the call that Ian had been waiting for.

"Hello Beautiful!"

"Let me speak to Ian, please," she demanded.

"You sound angry."

"I'm just a bit perturbed with him."

"Uh-oh." I handed the phone to Ian.

"Hey, Babydoll. How did it go?"…"What do you mean?"…"Why would that be a problem?"…"Oh."…"Why would I threaten him?"…"Fine, just make sure he doesn't make any stupid phone calls."…"Seven long days followed by seven long nights."…"I will. I love you." Ian hung up.

"So, how'd it go?"

"It went fine. I got bitched at, but other than that, it went fine."

"Good. Why'd she bitch at you?"

"Because I threatened Ice and it turns out they didn't even sleep in the same bed. They are both souls, so they both walked into the hotel and got a room with two beds, like a brother and sister."

"So, you jumped to conclusions and got bitched at."

"Yup."

"Good to know."

"Why?"

"Well, Tori wasn't at lunch, and I noticed that Blake wasn't there, either."

Ian poked me in the ribs. "You're jealous!"

"And I don't want to be an ass like you."

Ian laughed.

We finished up in time for dinner. There was no time to shower, so I was still in my dirty, sweaty, work clothes. Victoria entered the house. She was dressed in a tight pair of jeans and a royal blue sweater. She looked very pretty. My first thought was who was she dressing up for? _Me? Or Blake?_

I approached her immediately. "Hey, you look beautiful. If this is to impress me, I'm definitely impressed."

"This is for me. I've been painting and shooting and I was a mess. I took a nice shower, and I decided I wanted to look nice."

"Shooting?"

"I took Blake with me and gave him some target practice."

"So that's why you missed lunch."

"Yeah, we ate when we got back."

I couldn't help it. My mind went into overdrive. "Did he shower with you, too?"

Her expression changed to surprise. "What?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. What I meant was do I need to be worried?"

"You know I really can't believe you."

"What? We both know that Blake likes you, and according to you, you like him, too."

"Yeah, well are you going to stop fucking Gina and Nadia now that I'm your girlfriend?"

_Whoa! Didn't see that coming._ Gina had Evan. That was no question, but I hadn't even thought about Nadia. I guess the fact that I had to take the time to think about it had answered her question.

She folded her arms over her chest. "That's what I thought."

She started to walk away.

"Victoria! Can't we talk about this?"

She turned to me. "No. I knew it wouldn't work. I was stupid for thinking it would."


	58. Chapter 58

**So, I've sold over 100 books. I don't know if I've told you all that. It was my first goal. I just hope 100 people have read the book. I know there were some who bought the book just to be supportive and then stuck it on a shelf (in case I ever make it big), but others bought the book, read it, and then lent it to someone else. So, I guess 100 people have read it. That's what it's all about for me. Getting people to read the story, and fall in love with the characters as I have. It's like that here on FanFic. I love Nate, and Wanda, Ian, Gina, Victoria, Burns, Kyle, and the others. I want them all to be happy, and at times, as in real life, they are.**

**Tomorrow's my anniversary. Fifteen years of love, hate, friendship, anger, fun filled times and anguish, too. The stories I write come from my heart because there is no perfect love. We are all vulnerable at one point or another. The question is—can we keep it together and not lose the love?**

**Maybe…for now. To another year.**

IT'S ALL ABOUT VICTORIA

11/22/2002 – It's been a week since Victoria and I reached an impasse over the Nadia thing. I tried to explain to her that having sex with Nadia isn't love, it's more like pimping myself out. She didn't want to hear it. I told her that Nadia has only had sex with three people in her life, me, Evan, and Carl. I told her that she did not enjoy having sex with Carl. Victoria said that I should send Evan. I told her I couldn't do that because they all think that I am married to Gina. She said that's crazy. Why would I be fucking Nadia if I was married to Gina? I tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen. She said if I really cared about her, I would tell Evan to go. After all, Gina obviously doesn't mind if Nadia fucks her man. The truth is Evan doesn't know that I fucked Gina on that trip. He doesn't know about any of the times I spent with her except maybe on her birthday and even then, she broke up with him. I knew falling for Tori would only lead to heartbreak. I miss her like crazy. I don't know what's going on with her and Blake.

No one knows what's happened between me and Tori; they just know that whatever started ended pretty damn quickly. I've been busting my ass with Ian on the house. Most days I just eat, shower, and go to my room. It was three days ago that Gina approached me and asked me to read Interview with a Vampire to her. We spent the last three nights in the bunk house on one of the beds that Burns purchased. We kept it very platonic. She'd snuggle up against my body and lay her head on my chest while I read. She never asked what happened with Victoria, and I never offered an explanation. Evan came to check on us every night, and he never found us in a compromising position. It was always the same, her snuggled up to me, and me reading.

When I thought about it, I was pretty impressed with Evan's calmness. I don't know if I could be so calm if it were Tori snuggled into Blake's chest like that. I miss her.

Ian was very excited that Wanda was on her way home, and she had a boatload of people with her. We were going to spend this morning working on the house. The guys were going to lay the carpet in the bunkhouse. Victoria was still painting. We avoided each other most days. I was with Ian. She was painting in the bunkhouse. At meals, we sat at opposite tables. After dinner, she sat with the poker gang including Blake and Ian. Ian said she often asked about me. She said she wondered if I gave a shit that we broke up. Ian said he told her that I didn't talk much about anything these days, which was the truth.

Later on after dinner, we were going to move Ian's parents into the bunkhouse, and Burns was getting his room back because Lily was coming as well. Burns was usually a quiet guy, but today he seemed energized. It was obvious he was over the moon that his lady love was coming. I was the only one who was depressed. Sure, Wanda was coming, but she wasn't coming for me. I had no one.

That night I read to Gina on one of the bunk beds. That was when I broke down and told her the truth. I was reading, but I kept stopping to rub my eyes.

"Nate, what's wrong? Is there not enough light in this room for you to read?"

"No. The light is fine. It's—Victoria."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I do, but I don't want you to think that I'm asking you for favors."

"Nate, just talk to me."

"I asked Victoria to be my girlfriend. I realized that the only way I'm ever going to let you and Wanda have a chance at a really good life is to give it a go with Victoria. I didn't know how long it would last. I didn't think it would end after two days though."

She sat up on the bed and faced me. "What happened?"

"Blake has been pursuing her in his own teen puppy way, and I know I shouldn't even let it bother me, but I know she has an interest in him. When she agreed to be my girlfriend—I don't know—she seemed—unsure. I thought it was because of Blake, and when she disappeared for the afternoon with him, I asked her if I had a reason to be worried. She threw it back in my face and asked me if I was going to stop sleeping with you and Nadia. I knew that you and I had reached our little agreement that we would love each other from afar, but…"

Gina finished my sentence. "Nadia needs you."

"She wants me to send someone else. You know there's only one other person that Nadia is interested in."

"Evan."

"Even if you were okay with him going, he'd still find out that you are I were supposedly married, and that we obviously slept together on that trip. I could ruin your relationship."

"Shit. What are we going to do?" she asked.

"We? This is my mess. You are going to continue to love your boyfriend. I guess I'll be alone."

"I'm so sorry, Nate."

"Yeah, me, too. I was really starting to have strong feelings for her."

"Do you want me to talk to her?"

"What good would that do?"

"Let me try."

"It's not necessary. I just needed to vent. I'm just feeling depressed because Wanda and Lily are coming back, and the guys are all excited."

Gina pulled me into her arms and held me.

"If it makes you feel better, I wish I was Tori," she whispered.

I kissed her cheek. "Thanks."

I felt better that I had gotten it off my chest and I continued to read until Evan came to retrieve her. Once they went to bed, I went to the house and joined Ian, Burns and Megan to wait for the arrival of our guests. They arrived right about midnight.

Wanda jumped out of the van and ran to Ian. She had no coat on and she looked so tiny to me. "Oh, Ian!" He picked her up off the ground and spun her around. They kissed immediately. It was difficult to watch them making out. I sat on the steps of the back porch while all three couples expressed how much they missed each other. It may not have bothered me if I knew I had someone to go home to. _Damn it! This is all because of Nadia_. The others stopped kissing long before Ian and Wanda. I didn't think they were ever going to stop. They finally stopped although their foreheads were still pressed together and they were talking to each other in low voices. They both laughed. "I love you, Superman," Wanda said out loud and then they pulled away from each other. Wanda looked around and focused her attention on me. "I'm going to say hi to Nate," Wanda announced as she pulled away from Ian's unwilling hands.

I smiled as she approached. "Hey, Beautiful," I said in a soft voice.

She took my hands and pulled me off of the steps. I stood and put my arms around her and gave her a long tight hug. She smelled like sunshine. As I pulled back I ran the back of my fingers along her cheek and cradled her chin in my hand. Ian could pummel me if he wanted to. I needed this. I leaned in and kissed her on the lips. It wasn't a peck but a short kiss with slightly parted lips. This kiss could have easily become more, but I stopped and whispered, "Glad to have you back where you belong." Kyle had obviously witnessed the kiss because started to come toward us with anger, but Ian stopped him. I don't think Ian saw the kiss, but he obviously knew what I had done, and he elected to let it slide. I could only assume it was because he felt bad about my depression over Victoria. Wanda pulled me by the hand toward the rest of the group. Jamie and Megan were talking a mile a minute to each other as only teenagers could. Burns and Lily were standing together. Wanda was shivering. Aaron had grabbed her coat from the van and helped her put it on.

"Won't be much of a wedding if the bride's got pneumonia," he spouted.

"Thanks, Aaron."

She walked back to Ian, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

It was time for me to be the leader. "Most of you will be sleeping in the new bunkhouse. I'll need you to be as quiet as you can because Tom and Maggie are already asleep in there."

"When did they move in there?" Wanda asked.

"Today. They knew Lily was coming and they felt that it was time to give Burns his room back."

We entered the building and there was a long hall with five doors. The first room on the left was where I led the group. There were four bunk beds set up and the two dressers were there as well. The floor was carpeted in a warm brown on the concrete slab floor. The walls were painted a pale blue thanks to Victoria. The wall with the dressers had a weird mosaic painted from top to bottom. It didn't have a pattern but a myriad of strange objects. Some were recognizable and others were just random shapes and colors. The color palette coordinated with the soft blue of the other walls. One could probably sit in here for a long time and stare at this wall and not get bored. _I miss her, _I thought to myself.

I spoke in a low tone. "Kyle, Jamie, Ice, and Aaron, you four will sleep in here. You have first choice of beds, but remember by the time the wedding is here, most, if not all beds will be used, so choose your spot carefully." The guys each sat on a bunk and claimed their bed.

"The next room is just down the hall if you will follow me."

The room on the left side of the hall had two queen sized beds in it and only one dresser. This room also had the same carpeting, but the room was painted a lovely rose color. There were no murals in here, but I was sure Victoria was still planning on painting one.

I spoke in a soft tone. "Tom and Maggie are in the room like this one across the hall. Trudy and Geoffrey, you have your choice of which bed you prefer in here. The other two beds will be reserved for Melanie and Jared and for Doc and Sharon. You have the room to yourself for now. Let me show you all to the bathroom."

We went back to the hall and at the end was the door to the bathroom. It was not a large bathroom like the one at the house. It was modest, but it had all the necessary facilities. The tub was a decent size, but not like the Jacuzzi. There was a double sink which was nice if two people were sharing the bathroom and a large mirror that covered the width of both sinks. Of course there was a toilet. The walls and the floor were unfinished. "Sorry, we haven't had the chance to finish this room, but we have been working under a time crunch. The last room with the bunk beds is also unfinished."

Ian piped up, "We still have two weeks though."

Burns spoke up for the first time. "Breakfast is pretty casual around here. The kitchen is in the house. If you are an early riser we ask that you keep it down to a minimum because some of us like to sleep in." Burns shot a look at Wanda.

"I can't help it if I have a hard time falling asleep."

The others chuckled as they reasoned her lack of sleep. I was not amused. At that point I decided to take my leave. I climbed into my bed and I missed Victoria. I had half a mind to go to her and climb in with her. _What's the worst she could say? Get out?_ I needed to make things right with her.

In the end, I fell asleep—alone.

I got up and followed the same routine I had for the last week. Ian and I headed for the house in the woods. Burns and company headed for the bunkhouse to work on the bathroom. Ian and I were hard at work readying the bedroom and the master bathroom for the big day. There was no heat in the house, so the fireplace would be the sole source of warmth, but electricity needed to be implemented. We had already run a cable from the main house out here to this house. Today's goal was to hook up the electricity. As in the past week, I was somber and relatively quiet. It was early afternoon when Ian flipped the switched to the fuse box. The lights went on, and we celebrated.

"Now we can paint!" Ian exclaimed. He looked at me. "I don't suppose you could commission Victoria to paint this room, could you?"

I looked at the floor. "I don't think I could get Victoria to give me a drink of water if I was dying of thirst."

"What did you do to piss her off?"

"Nadia."

"The gypsy girl?"

"She doesn't want me sleeping with her anymore."

"So what's the problem?"

"I've been sleeping with Nadia for five years. How am I supposed to go to her and tell her that I won't sleep with her anymore? There _is_ no one else for her."

"Then take someone else. Take Blake. Let him sleep with her."

I laughed at the thought. "Blake is a virgin. Nadia is voracious. Besides, he's only seventeen, and Rachel has made it clear that she is not going to allow him to go anywhere without her."

"Sounds to me like you like Nadia a lot more than you admit."

"I care about Nadia. I want the best for her and I want to get her out of the mines. Right now, the only way I can do that is to marry her."

"Then marry her."

My eyes met Ian's. "You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Dude, who you marry is none of my business as long as it's not Wanda."

"I don't love Nadia. Not like that."

"Do you love Victoria like that?"

"Maybe."

"Then ask _her_ to marry you."

"And what is that supposed to solve? She's still not going to permit me to sleep with Nadia." I shook my head in disbelief.

We quit working in time for dinner. Victoria sat with her brother and Rachel, Rob, and Blake. They looked like a happy family and that just made me miserable.

After dinner, I made my way to the fun house. I thought I'd play a few games of pool and head off to bed. Carl had challenged me to play a few games. Victoria entered with Burns and Blake when Carl and I were on our third game. I had beat him the first two games, and this game was looking to be mine as well. The newcomers immediately sat down at the table and set up for the nightly poker game.

"I'll join you as soon as I'm done with this game," Carl called out.

Holly entered a minute later and sat with the poker crew. I thought about joining them, but poker really wasn't my game. I couldn't control the cards and that, for me, was a problem. I could control the balls on a pool table. Now that I thought about it love, for me, was like a game of poker. I had no control over it. It sucked. I stared at Victoria. She looked happy. Everyone looked happy when I wasn't in their lives. I was about to give up and go to bed when Ian and Wanda arrived.

The gang at the poker table immediately greeted Ian. He gave his bride-to-be a kiss and took the seat that had obviously been saved for him. Wanda looked over at me and smiled brightly. She seemed genuinely happy to see me. It gave me a change of heart. She wandered over toward the table that Kyle was sitting at, and she watched them play for a few minutes. She seemed a bit bored. She looked over at me again. That's when I gathered my courage and spoke up.

"Hey, Beautiful, care for a lesson?"

"Sure. I always enjoy learning from you."

Kyle's head snapped around, and he gave Wanda a dirty look. She ignored him and joined me at the pool table where I was racking the balls.

"Do you want to break or should I?" I asked.

"You break," she said in a sweet voice.

As we played, I was impressed that Wanda had remembered all the little nuances I had taught her about the game. Between hands at the poker table, Victoria got up and went to the house. She came back with a six pack of beer and included me when she handed out the bottles. I was surprised to say the least. I noticed that once the beer had been distributed, Wanda made it her mission to visit Ian in between her turns. She watched me, but Ian caressed her outer thigh. I suppose it was her way of keeping him from drinking more than she was comfortable with. It was well known that Wanda was not a fan of Ian drinking.

There were some shots that Wanda needed help with. I took the opportunity to lean into her very close, so she would get the shot. I could smell the light scent of her perfume, and I was not immune to her beautiful body as it draped over the table to make her shots. Ian sat with his back to us as he had done in the past, but Kyle could see everything, and his disapproval showed in his face. Eventually Kyle got up and left the building. He was the second person to come back with a six pack of beer. Sunny wasn't here to keep him from getting drunk, so he handed out a beer to everyone except Ian. Instead, he asked Ian if he was continuing to drink. Wanda seemed very interested in the outcome of the conversation. Ian did not answer Kyle but nodded his head and tapped his finger on the table to indicate that he put the beer down. Kyle gripped Ian's shoulder as if to console him.

When Wanda and I finished the game, she announced that she didn't want to play anymore. I knew she didn't want anything to ruin the perfect day she and Ian were having.

She approached Ian as he was chugging down his second beer. "Is this seat taken?" she asked, as she sat in his lap.

"There's plenty of room for you," Ian said still focusing on his cards.

Sarah entered the gameroom looking a bit forlorn.

"What's the matter, princess?"

"Megan and Jamie are all making out and stuff, and I don't have anyone to hang out with."

"You want me to teach you to play pool?"

Her face brightened. "Would you?"

"Of course, love."

I proceeded to teach Sarah how to play. She was enjoying the attention, and I was just happy that this night had turned out better than I thought it would. In the middle of the game, Wanda left the building and returned ten minutes later with more beer. I was very surprised. She handed out the beer and smiled at me as I accepted a bottle from her."

During her absence, Ian had dragged another chair over to the table. It was apparent that he had gotten it for Wanda to sit in. After Wanda handed me the beer, she dragged the chair back to its original spot at the other table. "I'm not sitting there." She said adamantly. It was the way she said it that caught my attention. He ignored her. She turned to walk away and he reached out and grabbed her wrist. He pulled her towards him. There was an exchange between them, and she ended up back in his lap.

I was on my third beer and I was feeling good. I decided to for another beer run. Sarah came with me, so she could use the bathroom. When we returned, Sarah racked the balls while I handed out the beer. When I came to Ian, he raised his hand. "I'm good. Thanks anyway."

I heard Wanda breathe out a sigh of relief.

"Oh well," I replied. "That's one more for me."

I played one more game of pool with Sarah. The fourth beer made me quit playing after that. Sarah hugged me and thanked me for teaching her. She didn't seem to notice that I was inebriated. Ian threw in his hand and announced that he was retiring for the night. Ian, Wanda, and Sarah all took their leave together. After they left, I wandered over to the pool table. I cracked open the last bottle of beer and took a swig. I didn't get drunk often, but I was feeling sorry for myself. I stepped up behind Victoria and began to message her shoulders. She didn't respond right away. After a few minutes, she reached up and grabbed my hand.

"Nate, please."

Her response cut through me like a knife. I picked up the bottle of beer and slammed it down on the table. The beer rose up and spilled all over the table.

"Nate!" she scolded.

I bolted towards the door. As I grabbed my coat, I turned and my drunkenness spoke for me. "You know what. Victoria? Fuck you. I hope you're happy."

I managed to shove one arm into my coat as I slammed the door behind me. As I stumbled back to the cave, I stopped along the way and pissed in the woods. I got turned around and found myself heading in the wrong direction. I ran smack into Rachel and Rob, who were headed towards the cave.

"Hey, Nate." Rob addressed me. "That was quite a little tirade in there. You sure pissed off Victoria. She took off right after you did. I thought she was coming after you."

"I haven't seen her, and I don't want to see her," I growled. "I'm going to bed!"

"Where are you sleeping?"

"In my bed. Where do you think?"

"The cave is that way," Rachel pointed out.

"Right, I knew that."

"Maybe we could walk with you," Rachel offered, as she took my arm.

"I'm not an invalid," I protested.

"I know you're not. We're just headed to the cave as well—and you know, it's always nice to be on the arm of two handsome men," Rachel exclaimed.

"You think I'm handsome?"

"Oh, Nate, you don't really need me to inflate your ego, now do you?"

"I mean if you weren't with Rob. Would you want me?"

Rob broke into the conversation. "Nate, did you forget that Rachel cheated on me with you?"

Unfortunately, my lack of sense did not allow me a filter at this moment. "That just means I'm a great fuck. My big dick has nothing to do with my face."

"Okay. No more talking," Rachel commanded.

"I am a great fuck. You told me yourself."

"Shut up, Nate." She turned to Rob. "He's drunk. He'll be okay once he sleeps it off."

We entered the cave and Rachel and Rob left me at my door.

"Sleep well, Nate," Rachel exclaimed.

I pushed open my door, and Victoria was sitting on the edge of my bed with her head in her hands. She didn't say anything until I closed the door behind me.

"What the hell's the matter with you?" she snapped.

"I don't remember giving you permission to enter my room," I scowled.

"Excuse me. You said you would never kick me out of your bed," she retaliated.

"Good, then take your clothes off and get in the damn bed."

"Why, so I can be one of your concubines?"

My head was starting to pound. "Victoria, why the hell are you here?"

"I want to know what that was all about in the game room."

"I thought we called it the fun house."

"What happened tonight was not fun."

"I tried to be nice. I was hoping you might be nice back, but no. Instead you shot me down on front of that—boy."

"Nate, we are not a couple."

"Why not? I want you. I thought you wanted me."

"I did, but you can't be monogamous."

"Is this about Nadia again?"

"_Did you think I was going to forget about her?_"

"_I don't even want to fuck Nadia!_"

We were both yelling now.

"_Then don't!_" she screeched.

"_Then she'll screw her damn cousin! She'll have his retarded babies and why? Because I didn't love her enough to marry her!_"

"_Why is this your problem?_"

"_Why is everyone on this fucking mountain my problem?_" I bellowed. "_Look, just get the fuck out. Go jump on the kid. Get knocked up. See if I care. I don't need you. I don't need anyone! I'm out of here."_

I grabbed my bag and started shoving clothes into it.

"Where do you think you're going?" she demanded.

"What the fuck do you care? I finally find that I have real feelings for you and I get shot down. First Wanda, then Gina, and now you. I'm done. I don't want to love anyone, _ever!_ I just want to get out of here. I'll find somewhere else to live—alone."

"Don't be stupid. You're drunk!"

"_I suppose I'm stupid for loving you, too."_

"Nate, stop."

At this point, the tears stung my cheeks. Either I was drunk enough to cry, or I loved her enough to cry. Either way, I fell apart. I turned away and pushed my wrists into my eye sockets to stop the tears.

Victoria reached out and touched my shoulder. I pulled away.

"Nate."

I felt my body hitch as the lump in my throat gave way to a horrible wail that I immediately tried desperately to suppress.

"Don't leave," Victoria said quietly. I heard her moving about the room and then I heard her get onto the bed. "Come to me, Nate."

I turned slowly, and her clothes were on the floor. She was lying naked in the bed holding the covers up for me.

"I'm cold. Won't you warm me up?"

I tore my clothes off and climbed in the bed. She greeted me with open arms. I sank into her chest. I was too inebriated to take it any further. I didn't even kiss her.

"I love you, Victoria."

I fell asleep in her arms.

Morning proved to be very awkward. I woke unaware of what had transpired the night before. I mean, I remembered everything that happened, but I had no idea what it all meant. Did Victoria love me, too? Did she except the Nadia thing? Was she my girlfriend? Or maybe she only did the things she did to keep me from leaving the mountain, the same way I did when I feared she would leave. To top everything else off, I was hungover and probably had bad breath from hell.

Victoria was still asleep. I felt like shit. I needed to go to the bathroom. I needed aspirin. I slipped out of the bed and donned my clothes as quietly as I could. I escaped from the room as Victoria rolled over in the bed. I figured it would only be a matter of minutes before she woke to find me gone. Would she be upset or relieved not to have to deal with me? I moved at a steady pace to the house.

I had to wait to use the bathroom. It seemed my sister had beaten me to the facilities. I opted to go to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee. I walked in on Rachel and Rob, and they were arguing. That's when I remembered the things I had said last night.

"Rachel, Rob, I'm sorry about the things I said last night. It was all wishful thinking on my part."

"So are you saying that she didn't say you were a good fuck?" Rob asked.

"The thing that happened between us was a long time ago when she didn't think that you appreciated her. I know that's not the case anymore. She always talks about your future. Don't let something a depressed, drunken, idiot said take you from the great relationship you have. I'm really sorry. My heart was broken, and I was looking for validation. It was stupid."

Kim entered the room. I looked at her. "Is the bathroom free?"

"Sure."

I smiled weakly at Rachel and Rob and then fled the room. I took my time in the bathroom. I took a long hot shower. It helped. We still had over the counter Ibuprofen, and I took a couple. I reentered the kitchen. Rachel and Rob were still there. This time, I interrupted them kissing.

"Sorry. I needed coffee."

I poured myself a cup of coffee. I added the sugar and cream and sucked down half a cup. I turned around to see Victoria enter the kitchen.

Our eyes met. "Hi," I said meekly.

"Hi," she replied.

"Coffee?" I offered.

"Sure. Um, I have to use the…" she gestured towards the door.

"I understand."

She bolted out of the room.

Rachel grabbed Rob by the hand and stood up. "I'll do the dishes later. We need to do laundry."

"We did laundry yesterday," Rob protested.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Just come on!" she urged.

I poured Victoria a cup of coffee and set it on the table. I placed the sugar bowl and the half and half on the table as well. Victoria returned a few minutes later.

She entered slowly looking unsure as to whether she should stay.

"Um, you left me this morning."

"Yeah, I had a wicked hangover and I needed to take something."

"Oh, I thought…" She stopped in mid sentence.

"You thought what?" I said hoping to get the truth from her. I was scared that she didn't want me to continue to pursue this thing.

"I thought—you had come to your senses and realized that it wasn't me you were upset about last night."

"Who the hell would you think I'd be upset about?"

"I don't know—maybe—Wanda."

"I love Wanda, but she's never going to be mine. I accept that. I've been upset over you. This whole week I've been wondering what you think of me. I've been scared to death that you'd run to Blake. I don't want to lose you, Tori."

"I can't do it. I can't tell people that you're my guy and then have you run off to the gypsies and diddle Nadia."

"What do you want from me? Do you want me to destroy Gina's relationship with Evan by sending him to the gypsies, so he can find out that Gina and I slept together on that trip because we told them that we were married? Is that what you want? I didn't think you were that selfish, Victoria."

She drew in a deep breath and leaned against the counter with her arms folded across her chest. Tears formed in her eyes, and she wiped them away. "I can't," she cried.

I approached her and rubbed her upper arms. I looked into her eyes, and she was still crying. I leaned forward and kissed her. Her lips were like warm sugar. I enveloped her lips with mine.

"Stop! You're making it worse!" she cried.

"Okay, how about a compromise?"

"What kind of compromise?"

"We go back to the way it was before. We spend time with each other when it's right for both of us. You can continue this—thing you have with Blake, but you won't shut me out. Please?"

"So you can go right back to sleeping with Gina?"

"No, I won't sleep with anyone, except you."

"And Nadia," she said coldly.

"I'll keep my visits short."

"I don't know."

I kissed her collarbone. "Do you have any idea how much I've thought about you this week?" I kissed her neck. "You want to take a bath?" I leaned in and kissed her. She finally kissed me back, and the kiss exploded into a hormone frenzy. I lifted her onto the counter, and she wrapped her long legs around me.

Jamie and Megan entered the kitchen and caught us in the moment.

"Geez, get a room!" Jamie sang out.

Victoria and I both started to laugh. She lowered her legs, and I helped her off the counter. I turned to Jamie. "That's the best advice I've heard all morning."

I drank the rest of my coffee and took Victoria by the hand. We went back to room and spent the rest of the morning making love to each other. I was finally happy. Happier than I'd been a quite a while.


	59. Chapter 59

**It's been a strange week. Lot's of weird thing happening in my life. Lover of Souls, I know it's not Gina, but this chapter is for you.**

JUST CAN'T LET GO

12/08/2002 – The last few weeks have been nearly perfect. Victoria and I are doing better than I could have hoped for. We are following her rules. So, by day she's been painting. I was even able to get her to paint the bedroom of Ian and Wanda's abode. I went to check on her one day, and we came very close to making love in their bedroom. It was Tori who stopped us, citing that it would be wrong. She was right, of course, but that didn't stop me from dragging her back to my room and having my way with her. In the evenings, Tori still played poker with her poker crowd. Some nights Blake walked her to her room, and I'm sure he got his good night kiss. I never questioned her about it because the rules were as long as I was going to sleep with Nadia, we were just friends, albeit friends who loved each other more than we cared to admit. Danny really didn't spend many nights with Victoria anymore. He became one of the boys in the teen room. This worried me, for the simple fact that it gave Blake Cart Blanche if he decided to spend the night with Victoria. It seems that the ball is in Tori's court, and she has complete control over our relationship.

On the plus side for me is that in the evenings, Wanda and I almost always hang together. Most nights, we play pool, but there have been a few nights when she and I have gone to the house and watched TV with some of the others. She always snuggles into my chest, and I wrap my arm around her. This is not unexpected of me from my family since I have done the same with most of the women on the mountain. Last night, Kyle was at the house, and he glared at us until I pulled my arm back. Wanda immediately grabbed my arm and pulled it back over her shoulder. Kyle kept a very close eye on us the rest of the night and followed us at a distance when I walked Wanda back to the game room to fetch Ian. Most nights we'd hug each other good night and some nights I'd kiss her tenderly on the cheek, With Kyle ready to throttle me, I thought it best not to rile him. I merely said good night and went to bed. I found out later that Blake made his first serious play for Victoria. He stayed in her bed. I know this because I went to check on her and found them together. Need less to say I was destroyed.

There was only a week left before the wedding. Tonight Burns and Ice were leaving for the caverns to retrieve the rest of the guests. I needed to go to the gypsies. I didn't want to go. I was afraid that spending even one night with Nadia would mean losing Victoria. I was lying in my bed debating on how to handle this new development with Victoria when she knocked on my door. She entered before I could summon her to come in.

"It's not what you think," she sad quickly.

"And what do I think?" I replied.

"I didn't sleep with him," she said adamantly.

"You looked pretty cozy to me," I said flatly.

"It was cold last night. I had a chill. He said he would keep me warm."

"You could have come to me." My voice was still cold.

"I was waiting for you to come to the fun room. You didn't come, and Evan was there pissing and moaning that he and Gina had a fight. I figured she ran to you."

"I never even saw Gina last night. I was with Wanda up at the house, but Kyle was being a total dick, so I just went to bed. I didn't get to say good night to you, so I got up to do that; and I saw you together. Do you _know_ what that did to me?"

"I didn't fuck him," she said in her defense.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Yes!"

"Well, it doesn't," I snapped.

"Nate, you know our relationship is only temporary."

Her words stung. What hurt the most was the realization that I had said these same words to her and to Gina and Nadia as well. I'm such a dick.

"Go," I said in defeat. "Be with Blake. I'll be fine." It was a lie.

"Are you sure?"

I rolled away because if she saw my face she would know.

Victoria sat on the edge of the bed. "Nate, you know I love you, but I'll never be number one. I want that."

"I want to give you that," I said barely above a whisper.

"I don't think you can." She got up, lifted the blanket, and crawled fully clothed into my bed. "I _do_ know that I'm not ready to let you go."

I rolled over and I held her. The truth was I wasn't ready to let her go either.

"Kiss me, Nate."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Well, besides the fact that I have morning breath, I'm leaving tonight. I need to make it back before the wedding."

Tori was silent.

"One night. I'll only stay one night, and then I'll come right back."

"But you'll still sleep with her."

"Only out of obligation."

"Is that how you feel with me? Obligated?" It was strange. A moment ago, she had the upper hand. I was the one with the jealousy issues and just like that, everything had changed.

"My sweet Victoria." I grazed my thumb along her cheek. "I'll admit in the beginning, I felt that way, but you have stolen my heart. Every day that passes, I fall a little harder for you. I don't want to lose you."

She started to cry. "Oh, Nate. You make me so confused."

"Don't be confused. Just know I need you and I'm here for you."

"Will you make love to me before you go?"

"Sweetheart, I'll make love to you all afternoon. I just need to get Burns the list, so he can go to town."

"Do you want me to meet you back here?"

"Would you rather meet in the hot tub?"

Her eyes lit up. "I'd like that."

"I'll make it special." I leaned forward and kissed her neck. I trailed the kisses down her neck toward her cleavage. I lifted her shirt and kissed her lean stomach. I wanted her. I reached to her pants and unsnapped them.

"Nate, no."

"Yes." I whispered.

She backed off the bed, "No!"

"Why not?"

She started to cry again.

"What's wrong?"

"It's me. I'm a whore!"

"What? No, you're not."

She was sobbing. "I lied to you. Blake and I…"

That's when I realized. I swallowed hard.

"It wasn't at all like I thought it would be. It wasn't romantic or even satisfying. It was terrible!"

I wanted to be there for her, but I felt so wounded. I didn't speak. I couldn't. I just sat on the edge of the bed and watched her cry. It was like that for several minutes. I finally found my voice and my senses.

"Did he use a condom?"

"What?"

"Did he use a condom? Please don't tell me he knocked you up."

"I tell you I had sex with Blake, and the only thing you care about is whether I used a condom?"

"What the fuck do you want me to say? I'm sorry it wasn't good for you?"

"I don't know! Maybe you love me?"

I balled my hands into fists. "Fuck!" I suddenly thought of Ian in the root cellar punching the walls, breaking bones in his hand hoping one pain would override the other. "I have to get out of here." I grabbed my pants and my shoes, and I fled the room. I left her sitting on the floor crying. I didn't know where to go, so I went to the room where I used to watch the stars.

It had been a long time since I had been here. The last time I was here was with Wanda. I quickly pulled on my pants and slid my feet into my shoes. I had no shirt, and it was cold here since it was a portal to the outside. I needed to think. I knew I had no right to be mad at Victoria, but I was. I was mad that she cut short our time together. She promised she wouldn't pursue the relationship until he turned eighteen. _Fuck!_ I was losing her, and that's all there was to it. Why was I even here? I could go to the gypsies and just stay there for awhile. I could miss the wedding and not have to see Wanda pledge her love to Ian. I could miss Gina and Evan as they pondered a marriage of their own. I could miss seeing Blake and Victoria develop this new romance. My mind was made up. _I'm going. _There was only one person that needed to know of my plans.

I stormed back to my room. Victoria was gone. I finished dressing including socks and I went off in search of my 'mother'. I found her bundled up and sitting in her chair above the root cellar enjoying the brisk morning and the sounds of the birds chattering away in the sky above her.

I collapsed to the ground and laid my head in her lap. She reached out and stroked my hair. I felt comforted by her and I lay there for some minutes before she spoke.

"What's wrong, Nathan?"

I didn't lift my head. "My heart's been broken."

"Wanda?"

"No. I know there is nothing I can do to stop her from marrying Ian. I've accepted that."

"Gina," she said confidently.

"No, not Gina. I love Gina, but I know that she is happy with Evan. He can give her what I can't."

"And what exactly is that?"

I lifted my head and faced her. "A stable life and one hundred percent of his love."

"So, then that leaves…"

"Victoria."

"I didn't know you loved her."

"Neither did I."

"Everyone has noticed Blake looking at her like a love struck puppydog."

I laid my head back in her lap. "They slept together."

"You seem surprised."

"She made a promise."

"A promise?"

"She promised that she wouldn't sleep with him until he turned eighteen."

Maria started to laugh. I lifted my head again and glared at her. "What is so funny?"

"Do you hear yourself? You are apparently in a relationship with a girl that is obviously going nowhere because you have already worked out when it's going to end. That's like two people saying 'if neither of us is married by the age of thirty, we'll marry each other.' Then when one gets married the other gets pissed because he or she was waiting for them both to turn thirty thinking they would magically fall in love."

"But she does love me."

"No, she doesn't. If she did, she wouldn't be falling into bed with Blake."

"But she did it because when we first started this relationship, I told her that I wouldn't make a commitment to her because I was still in love with Wanda."

"And all that has changed? You don't love Wanda anymore? Now you love Victoria?"

"I still love Wanda, but…"

She cut me off. "Silly boy. I don't think you have a clue what love is."

"And you do?"

"I loved a man once."

"What happened to him?"

"He is part of the earth now. Part of the forest and the lake on this mountain."

"He died?"

"Yes, not far from here. It was winter, and the roads were bad. He worked for his father delivering milk. I asked him not to go. He said his father would be disappointed if he didn't go. He lost control of the milk truck."

"How long ago was that?"

"Nineteen sixty seven."

"You never fell in love again?"

"John Eaglefeather was the love of my life. We were married only three years. I found other men who I spent time with, but none that stole my heart like he did."

"Wanda."

"She stole your heart. That's why even though you think you love Gina and Victoria, it will never be the same as the feelings you have when you are with Wanda."

"I know that, but I tried it with Wanda. She chose Ian. What am I supposed to do?"

"Well, making temporary plans with others is a sure way to hurt them and as it seems, to hurt yourself." She paused. "Tell me something, Nathan. I know that Wanda and Ian are obviously very happy about making their trip into wedded bliss, but what about Gina? What if she and Evan broke up? Would you be there for her? Would you hurt Victoria?"

I hated when Maria asked these questions, especially when she already knew the answers. I thought about Gina and our history. The reason I let Gina go was because I loved her. If she walked away from Evan, I would snap her up in a heartbeat.

"The fact that you didn't answer tells me that you would. So you tell me, is it better to hurt Victoria or is it better for you to take the high road and let her go?"

My eyes filled with tears. "It's just hard, Maria."

"I know it is." She stroked my face. "One day, you will meet a woman and everything will be right."

I walked away from Maria, with a renewed ounce of self respect. I decided I would let Victoria go. I would spend as much time as needed at the gypsies. If I made it back in time for the wedding, then fine. If I didn't, then c'est la vie.

I headed to the newlywed house to see if Ian was working. He was. I joined him in laying the carpet that Burns had gotten during the same trip he had taken to get the carpet for the bunkhouse.

"Hey, buddy. Good to see you," Ian said cheerfully,

"I thought I'd come and help since I'm leaving tonight, and I don't know if I'll be back in time for the wedding."

He stopped working and looked up at me. "You can't be serious."

"I'm not really in a festive mood these days."

"Look, I know you love Wanda, but I thought you'd be happy for us—for her."

"I am, really. It's not just the wedding. It's everything."

"I'm not going to tell Wanda that you aren't coming. It'll kill her. You know as much as she loves me, I see the way she still looks at you."

I smiled weakly. "You don't have anything to worry about. I'm not leaving because I'm afraid I'm going to jump on her."

"I know that. I meant that when she looks at you, I see the love in her eyes. It would kill her to think that she could lose you as a friend."

"I'll try to make it back, but if I don't, please assure her that I will always be her friend."

We worked through lunch. Wanda had gone to town with Burns. He was shopping for the supplies for the gypsies. Wanda was still getting odds and ends for the wedding and for the guests. She needed to buy sheets, pillows, blankets, and toiletries for the bathroom. We rolled in just before dinner. Ian showered first while I went to the cave to retrieve clean clothes for myself.

When I got back to the house, I went directly into the bathroom. Victoria was waiting, and she was dressed in the little pink number. I stopped cold when I saw her.

"Hi," she said meekly.

"Tori, what are you doing here?"

"You told me to meet you here. Don't you remember?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"You promised you would never kick me out of your bed."

"This is not my bed—and you promised you wouldn't sleep with him until he turned eighteen." As soon as I said it, I wanted to take it back. _Way to take the highroad, dumbass._

"You slept with Gina on her birthday."

"I love Gina. Do you love Blake?"

"Forget it. I shouldn't have come."

She grabbed her jeans off the toilet and began to slide them on.

"No. I want to know. Do you love Blake?"

"Do you love me, Nate? Do you?"

"I thought I did."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

_Push her away. _"I don't love you, Victoria. I never have."

She charged at me. "You bastard!" She pulled her arm back, and she slapped me in the face—hard. My immediate reaction was to grab her wrist. She slapped me with the other hand. She had some serious power. I grabbed her other wrist, and we were both battling for control. I was afraid if I used my power I just might hurt her, so I pushed off of her and backed up. The hot tub was filled to capacity behind me. She was in a rage. She charged me and shoved me in the chest using all of her weight. I stepped backwards, but the tub was there. It stopped my feet from traveling backwards, but my body was in motion. I fell backward into the tub. I hit my head on the spigot, and that is all I remember.

When I came around I heard Victoria's voice before I could focus on her. She had me cradled in her arms. The water was swirling around us.

"Oh my God! What have I done? Nate, wake up. Please, be okay! I'm so sorry."

"You should have let me die," I muttered, as I opened my eyes.

"Don't even say that. I lost my father. I won't lose you."

"I've already lost you."

"No you haven't, Nathan Downey. I just wish you loved me the way you love Wanda and Gina."

"That's just it. I do."

She leaned forward and she planted her lips on mine. What followed was a frenzied activity of me pulling off her clothes and her pulling off mine all the while trying to continue the kissing. I goaded her into sitting on the edge of the tub, so I could taste her pussy. I worked extra hard to please her using my finger to tease her as I licked her clit. She lifted her ass off the edge of the tub and balanced on her hands, so she could move with the pulse of my finger. I sucked on her sweet flower and tasted the juices as they flowed. She was panting hard and trying not to cry out. After all, there were people in the house. It was almost dinner. Several times there was a knock on the door, but I ignored it and continued my mission to make her forget Blake and his sad attempt at sex. She finally released a controlled cry. By this time I was so hot for her my hard-on was raging. I pulled her into the tub and turned her around. I took her doggie-style because I wanted to get in good and deep.

"Nate, you're not using a condom," she cried as I slid my throbbing dick into her.

"I'll pull out," I responded quickly not wanting to stop to fish a condom out of my wet wallet in my wet pants that were strewn on the floor.

"You better not get me pregnant," she warned.

"I won't. If you get pregnant, it won't be my fault."

"What's that…"

I cupped my hands over her breasts and whispered in her ear. "Trust me."

It felt so damn good to be inside of her. Maybe it was the head injury and maybe it was her, but I felt delirious. I was getting close. I didn't want to climax and stare at her back. I pulled out. "Turn around. I want to see your beautiful face."

I sat on the bench seat in the water, and she sat facing me as I pulled her down on top of me. She was wearing make up which was unusual for Victoria. She has the kind of beauty that didn't require makeup. Her high cheek bones only enhanced her nearly perfect smile. She wasn't smiling now. She was concentrating. She had already climaxed and she was trying to please me. She was sucking on her lower lip. She placed her hands on my face and pulled me to her lips. "I love you, Nate."

The words were like magic to my ears. I suddenly felt the rush of testosterone, and I lifted her quickly off of me and held her tight to my chest as the jism shot through the water. I sat her gently on the bench next to me, and we held each other and made out until someone banged on the door. "Is some one in there?" It sounded like Uncle George. We both burst out laughing. In days gone by, I would have been horrified to think I might get caught in the bathroom with Victoria—with any woman for that matter. Tonight, I was just happy. I didn't care if the whole mountain knew especially if Blake was included.

"We should get dressed and get out, so the others can use the bathroom," I suggested.

"My pants are soaked," she reminded me.

"It's okay. I have a plan."

"A plan?"

"Yeah, a plan."

I got out and dried myself off. I dressed in the clothes I had brought with me and after Tori was dry; I wrapped her from the waist down in several towels. I took all the wet clothes and wrapped them in a towel as well. I handed it to Tori and scooped her into my arms.

"What are you doing?"

"There's only one place to dry your clothes. I'm going to carry you to the root cellar."

"You're crazy, you know that?"

"Like a fox, babe. Now, if you could reach the doorknob and open it for me..."

She giggled and opened the door. I tried to be as graceful as I could while carrying my six foot warrior princess.

We got to the bottom of the stairs and who should we run into? "Hello, Blake," I said in a strong voice.

Tori buried her head. "Oh, shit!"

I wanted to say to him, _you may have fucked her but she's still mine,_ but I thought better of it.

When we reached the root cellar, it was empty but warm. Someone had recently done their laundry. I sat her on one of the cots that had been propped up against the wall. I took the clothes and after retrieving my wallet, I placed everything in the dryer. Then I returned to Victoria, and the make out session that had been interrupted in the bathroom resumed. Victoria had tailored the way she kissed to suit my preferences, so kissing her was extremely pleasurable, so much so, in fact that I was getting hard again.

"Victoria, you are driving me fucking crazy, you know that?"

"Good. Then maybe you'll hurry back to me."

I had completely forgotten about my impending trip to the gypsies.

"Crap. I wish I didn't have to go."

"I wish you didn't have to go either."

"I'll be back in two days."

"You'd better. Aaron and Ice are leaving tonight to go back to the caverns. It wouldn't be very nice if our leader wasn't here to great our guests when they arrive."

"I thought you wanted me to come back for you."

"I'll be waiting in your bed."

"Good." We kissed some more. Eventually the clothes were dry, and Tori got dressed. We strolled hand in hand to the game room for dinner. Most of the family had already finished and were vacating the premises. There was no sign of Blake, and frankly, I didn't care. It seemed as though Victoria was mine, at least for now, and I was thrilled about it. The sun had already gone down by the time we entered the fun house for dinner. We were very in tuned with each other. It was almost as if we were the only ones there. By the time we finished eating, the only ones left were the clean up crew which oddly enough consisted of the youngsters, Jamie, Megan, Sarah, Carlos, and Danny. Blake was conspicuously missing. Danny shot his sister a dirty look. So I could only assume that Blake had told his friends of the new development even if he didn't tell them that he had sex with her. As we got up to leave, Burns entered.

"Hey, you're back."

"Finally," he answered.

"How was the shopping?

He drew in deep breath. "I love Wanda like a sister, but when she shops, she's like a woman obsessed. Wait till you see all the stuff she bought for Klaudia's baby. She bought about fifteen cases of diapers. I told her that you already brought her diapers on your last trip. She said she wanted to make sure there was enough in case you couldn't get there for a while. She got blankets and baby bath, and wipes, and clothes, oh my God! All the clothes!"

"Well, I'm sure Klaudia will be very excited."

"Oh yeah, and what is up with you telling Ian that you might not make it back in time for the wedding? How long are going for?"

Victoria shot me a look. I didn't want Burns to know my decision was based on Victoria. "If I go there and Klaudia goes into labor, I thought I'd stay and help," I explained.

Tori turned to me. "So now you're a doctor?"

I ignored Tori and addressed Burns. "Tell Ian I'll most likely be back in time for the wedding. I'm just gonna go pack, so I can get on the road."

I grabbed Victoria by the hand and dragged her with me. The three of us walked silently out the door, and when we got to the path, Burns turned left toward the house, and Tori and I turned right toward the cave. When we were finally alone on the path, I explained my earlier remark to Ian.

"The reason I told Ian I wouldn't be back was because of you."

"Me?"

"I was hurting, and I didn't want to be here to watch you and Blake exploiting your new found closeness."

"Nate, it's not like that."

I creased my eyebrows. "How is it then?" I pressed.

"I don't know. I wasn't prepared for what happened last night. He kept pushing for it and I felt like I couldn't say no."

We entered the cave, and there was a bunch of people gathered in the main cave talking. We slid past them and went toward my room. Once inside, we continued the conversation.

"Victoria, come with me to the gypsies."

"What about Nadia?"

I sighed deeply. "I don't know. She thinks I'm married to Gina, so you couldn't be more than a friend."

"So you'd be staying with Nadia. Where does that leave me?"

My forehead was a garden of worry lines. "I'm just scared to death that I'm going to go a way for a few days, and when I come back, you won't feel the same about me."

"If you think I'm going to stop loving you, you're wrong."

"Gina did."

"I'm not Gina."

"I swear I'll get back as quickly as I can."

"Good because I'll be sleeping in your bed every night until you return."

I leaned my forehead against hers.

"Why? Are you afraid you'll cave and end up in bed with Blake again?"

"No," she cooed. "I like to smell you and I'll have your pillow."

I pulled back and brushed her hair behind her ear. "I love you, Victoria."

"I love you, too, but I wouldn't be truthful if I didn't say that I fear that I'm going to be hurt."

I pushed her back onto the bed and kissed her and our passion cumulated in another round of sensual lovemaking. Afterwards, she lay naked on the bed watching me pack my bag. She really did have a long and lean body. I pulled out the box of condoms from the drawer that I had opened prior to tonight's sex. I dropped it in my bag. I saw Victoria look away pretending she was interested in something else.

"You know you never answered my question."

She rolled onto her belly and looked at me. "What question is that?"

"Did you use a condom with Blake?"

"I did and I had to help him put it on."

I thought back to my youth. "It took me a while to get the hang of it. By the way, what was so terrible about the sex?"

"You mean besides the fact that it was over in five minutes?"

I smiled. "You mean he lasted five minutes? He must have beat off before hand."

"Nate!"

"I'm serious. The first time I had sex, I think I shot my wad after about a minute and a half."

"And what made you into the great lover you are today?"

"You want the truth?"

"Of course I want the truth."

"Marathon sex with Nadia."

She frowned.

"You know when I leave; Blake is going to want to talk to you."

"I know."

"What are you going to say?"

"I don't know. I care about him, I do."

I placed my hand on her cheek. "Promise you me you won't fall into bed with him, again."

"Promise me you won't forget about me while you're drilling Nadia."

"I promise."

She rolled onto her back and let out a deep sigh. Her perky little breasts pointed directly toward the ceiling.

"What's wrong?"

Tears exploded onto her cheeks, and she was quick to wipe them away. She was trying hard not to cry, but she was losing the battle. She let out a little squeak. I slid onto the bed and pulled her into my arms. "I hate—this," she cried.

"I know." I kissed her tear stained cheeks. "Ask Burns if you can keep his phone till I get back. I'll call you in the morning when I wake up."

"You said that—last time," she squeaked.

"I promise. If I don't call you by noon time tomorrow, then you have my permission to go to Blake, and I will never bother you again."

"Will you miss me?" she croaked.

"I miss you already. Now, why don't you get dressed and you can walk me to the van."

Tori dressed, and we walked together hand in hand to the house. She went to the bathroom while I summoned to Burns to escort me to the van.

"She's got a full tank of gas. Be careful, they are calling for rain."

"I'll be careful. Would you do me a favor and let Victoria have the phone while I'm gone?"

"Sure. What's the deal with you two?"

"I don't know, man. We're hanging on for dear life."

Victoria exited the back door and walked toward me. I held out my arms, and she entered into them. "I'll miss you, Xena."

"I'll miss you, too."

I lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. I smiled as I spoke. "You might want to clean up the ol' casa while I'm gone, considering you're sleeping in it."

"You want me to clean your room?"

I laughed. "Only if you feel like it. I was joking with you."

I kissed her and jumped into the van. I reached out the window and brushed my fingers against her cheek. "Bye, love."


	60. Chapter 60

**It sucks when you put yourself out there and invite him into your heart. You think to yourself that the conversations you had with him were wonderful, and then you find out he wasn't even listening. So he turns his back on you and in his mind, he's letting you down easy. After all, he didn't fall in love. You did.  
>So, you take your broken heart and try to live your life as you did before you knew him. But as you stand there looking into the mirror at all of you imperfections, you can't help but cry because you weren't good enough…..<strong>

NIKO AND NADIA

12/09/02 – I arrived at the mines in good time considering Burns was right on the money about the rain. Luckily the rain didn't turn to sleet or snow. I was pleased to find that Nadia was out of commission. Even Nadia wouldn't expect me to have sex with her when she was on her period. So, I guess it's a good thing I hadn't planned on staying long. Nadia still seemed happy to see me. I guess my being here to hold her is enough. She got up early to go 'take care' of herself. She told me to go back to sleep, but I'm having a hard time sleeping. I'm sure Blake sought out Victoria as soon as I left. As I lay in the bed last night wrapped around Nadia's gaunt body, I longed for Victoria's strong physique. I need to get up, so I can call her. I don't want to disappoint her.

It was a dreary day. The tarps were up, causing the smoke to hang in the camp. It was days like this that were the worst in the mines. There was no sense of clean, anywhere. Just wetness, mud, and smoke. Nadia was sitting next to Niko. She didn't get up and run to me. This worried me.

"Good morning, all," I announced. Klaudia was the only one to get up to greet me. She struggled to get up. As she waddled over to me, I realized that she could go at any moment. "Thank you for coming." She placed her arms around my neck and hugged me. "You need to talk to Nadia about Niko," she whispered in my ear. I guess that explained the lack of emotion from Nadia this morning. She backed away and waddled back to her seat.

"I have breakfast for you," Ludmilla said stoically, as she handed me a plate loaded with sausage, eggs, and hash browns.

I sat down next to Stanislaw and ate. Everyone seemed rather quiet. I wasn't sure if it was due to the dismal day or something else. I shoved the last mouthful of hash browns into my mouth and stood up. "I'll wash my plate after I come back."

"Where are you going?" Nadia asked.

"To the little boys' room." As I walked away to find a place to relieve myself, I powered up my phone. The time flashed across the screen. Eleven forty-six. _"Shit!" _I quickly punched in Burns's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe."

"Hey," she crooned into the phone.

"I miss you."

"Do you?"

"I do," I said confidently.

"Well, it sure took you long enough to call."

"I just got up."

"I guess you and Nadia had a wild time."

"Xena, we didn't have a wild time. We didn't have any kind of time. She's got her period."

"Really?" I could hear the excitement in her voice. "That's too bad."

I burst out laughing. I pulled my laughter under control and allowed my own insecurities to surface. "What's happening with you and Blake?"

"Nothing. I went right to your room after you left. I sat up and read for a while before I went to sleep. I don't think he'd seek me out in your room."

"Well, you can't avoid him forever."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say to him."

"The truth. How do you feel about him?"

"I like him, but I don't think it's our time."

"I hope I have something to do with that."

"You do, but I'm always afraid with you."

I didn't know how to answer that. I couldn't deny my feelings for both Gina and Wanda. Victoria was the best thing for me right now, but how would I feel in a month, six months, or even next week? After all, Wanda was getting married in less than a week. I tried to push the reality of it out of my mind, but I knew that sooner or later, the thought of closing that door for good would send me into a depression. How would that affect Victoria?

"I'll be home tonight, late."

"I'll be waiting," she replied.

"I love you, Xena."

"I love you, too. Bye."

I returned to the camp. Nadia was missing.

"Do you know where Nadia went?"

"She and Niko went to fill some buckets of water for the dishes."

Seemed odd that they were doing this together. Usually it was two guys who fetched the water.

"I have a ton of stuff in the van for Klaudia and the baby."

"You do?" Klaudia's eyes blew up like saucers.

"I do. Would you like to see it?"

"Of course I would!" She again pushed herself into an upright position.

"Why don't we go inside to the living room? We can put a blanket down to keep all the items as clean as possible."

"Okay!"

Ludmila entered the mine and laid a dingy bed sheet on the carpet. I thought about the birth. I realized that a sterile environment was not going to be available for Klaudia. I wished I could bring her with me to the mountain, but I knew Dominik would most assuredly object, so I kept my mouth closed. Klaudia sat on the edge of the couch in anticipation. I took Dominik with me to the van, and he and I each carried three cases of diapers into the mine. Klaudia clapped her hands together. We returned to the van and loaded up another three cases each. She was so excited.

"This is enough diapers for several months!"

"Wanda wanted to make sure you were covered just in case."

Dominik followed me back to the van, and we each grabbed two full sized trash bags filled with clothes and other assorted baby needs. We set them down in front of Klaudia and she began to pull the items from the bags, one by one. She squealed with delight with every new jumper, towel, or onesie she pulled out. "I can't believe your friend bought all of this stuff for me!"

"She doesn't have to pay for it because she's a soul. She did say that she wanted you to have everything you would need, and that if there was anything she forgot, she'd be happy to pick it up before my next trip."

"I can't think of anything else I could possibly need!" she trilled, as she continued to open the bags and admire each new item.

"Well, I think you might need formula. She covered that, too."

"Nadia entered the living room of the mine. "What's going on?"

"Baby shower," I answered with a smile.

"Wow! That's really great!" she sat on the floor in front of Klaudia and began to pour through the items already placed in a pile.

"Come on, Dominik." I summoned him to the van again. I gave him three cases of canned formula. I carried in two gallons of water. I placed them on the blanket. "Wanda wasn't sure about the water situation, so she also picked up twenty gallons of water to mix with the formula."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Burns went with her, and he said she was like a mad woman. She dragged him everywhere. There's one more thing."

"More?" She said, obviously in shock.

"You got the bottles already, right?"

"In this bag, right here," Nadia answered for her.

"Okay." Dominik was sitting next to his wife. "Nadia, would you help me? It's heavy."

"Sure!" she popped to her feet and followed me to the van.

Once we were alone, I addressed her. "We need to have a talk."

"About what?" she said innocently.

"About what's wrong with you."

"There's nothing wrong with me. I'm bleeding. That's all."

I gave her a stern look. I had been here before when she was on her cycle, and it had never stopped her from demanding my attention.

"Grab that end," I instructed her. We carried the box into the mine and set it in front of her.

"A crib! You bought me a crib!" She started to cry.

"Me and Wanda and all of us at the mountain wish you all the best."

"Thank you, Nate! You are a wonderful man!" She got up and threw her arms around my neck and kissed me on the cheek.

I actually felt myself blush. Klaudia was as big as a house, but she was still a very pretty woman. I always thought Dominik a lucky man.

I turned to Nadia. "Can I talk to you?"

"Um, sure."

I took her hand in mine and led her to her room. She climbed onto the mattress on her knees and gave her attention to me.

I stood in front of her like an adult questioning a child.

"I want to know what's going on with you."

"Nothing."

"What's up with you and Niko?"

She looked nervous. "Nothing."

"Then tell me why Klaudia thinks I need to talk to you about Niko."

"Nothing happened. I'm not pregnant."

So the word that stuck in my head was 'pregnant' since there's only one way to get pregnant. "You slept with him?" I'm sure the intense look on my face was something she had never seen from me.

"Only a few times," she said coyly.

That's when I exploded. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOU FUCKING MIND? HE'S YOUR NEPHEW! IF HE KNOCKS YOU UP, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A CHILD THAT COULD HAVE SEVERE BIRTH DEFECTS!"

"We used a condom!" she said in her defense.

I raked my fingers through my hair. "I can't believe you!" I began to pace back and forth to keep from lashing out at her.

"He thinks I'm beautiful," she replied.

"I think you're beautiful," I blurted out. Not as beautiful as Victoria or as sexy as Gina, but she was pretty in her own way.

"You're married."

"He's a direct blood line to you!"

"I'm not going to marry him! He's just someone to be with until I get to the mountain."

"I can't do this anymore."

"Are you jealous?"

"NO! If Niko wasn't related to you, I'd say have at it. Fuck him till the cows come home. I have a niece. She's a very sweet girl. I would never entertain the idea of sex with her—EVER!"

"Fine! I'll stop!"

"You know what? I'm done. You do whatever the fuck you want. I'm not coming back."

I turned and left the room. Nadia sprang off the bed and followed me to the main part of the cave where the others were still congregating.

"You have to come back. My family needs you!" she pleaded.

I turned to the others. "Next time, I'm bringing Burns. He can drive here day or night. He's a soul, so he would never be questioned. I can't come back to this anymore. If you don't trust Burns then you'll have to go out and take care of yourselves."

"No!" Klaudia protested.

"What is this all about?" Stanislaw asked.

"Why don't you ask your daughter?"

Stanislaw turned to Nadia. "Nadia?"

"No, Papa, I don't want to tell you."

"Come here, now!"

Niko got to his feet and backed toward the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" I blocked Niko from leaving.

Niko looked at Stanislaw and then at Nadia. "She made me do it!" he blurted out.

"I did not!" she countered. "You've watching me for months!"

At this point Edyta realized what was going on. "Boy! I will beat you until you are dead!"

Niko plowed past me and took off into the woods. I regained my composure. "Look. I'm not in love with your daughter. I never have been, but I've always cared about her. I've given her what she wanted all these years because you won't let her leave the mountain, and she has no one; unlike all of you, who have partners. I just can't come back and pretend that I am not deeply offended that she has taken her nephew as a lover. I'm sorry. Either you trust Burns, or I won't be coming back."

Nadia rushed toward me. "I won't sleep with him anymore."

I shook my head. "I don't believe you."

I turned to Stanislaw. "I hope you won't punish either of them. I don't think it would do any good. If they cannot see this is wrong then yelling at them will not help. I'm going to head out now."

"No!" Klaudia again protested. "It's too dangerous for you right now. Please, wait until dark."

"I'm too upset to be here right now."

"Why don't we take a little walk?—just you and me?" Klaudia suggested.

"I can't."

I looked over at Nadia. She wouldn't look at me.

"Five years! I gave you five years!" I shouted.

"I know! I'm sorry!" she replied.

Klaudia slid her coat on and grabbed me by the arm. "Come on. A little fresh air will do us both good." She pulled me from the mine into the rain. She picked up a couple of umbrellas at the entrance. We began to walk in silence. Klaudia was not like the others. I wondered how she got caught up in this rag tag group of gypsies.

"Klaudia, were you born a gypsy?"

"Oh, heavens, no!"

"You're so different from the others. How did you end up with Dominik?"

"Believe it or not, he rescued me."

"Rescued you?"

She laughed a light lilting laugh. "I grew up in California, near the ocean. Santa Monica."

"Heard of it, never been there."

"There's a board walk. Every year a little carnival stops in and stays for about a week or two. I was seventeen. The carnival blew into town. There was a boy who liked me. I had a huge crush on him, too. He asked me to go out with him. He said he'd take me to the carnival. I was over the moon. He showed up at my house to pick me up. As soon as we got in the car, he pulled out a six pack of beer and asked me if I wanted one. I wasn't the kind of girl who drank or smoked."

"You still aren't."

"True. I never knee you noticed."

I shot a quick smile at her. "I noticed. Please, continue your story."

"So, he drank two beers before we got to the carnival. Once we got there, we went on a couple of the rides and he bought me a churro."

"What's a churro?"

"It's a long stick like pastry covered with cinnamon sugar. They deep fry it like a donut."

"Oh, I've never heard of it."

She looked at me as if I were crazy. "Where did you grow up?"

"The Midwest."

"Not a lot of Spanish people in your neighborhood?"

I grinned. "Uh, no."

We both laughed. We came to a rough area of dried grass. I placed my arm around her waist and held her elbow as passed through it. She continued the story.

"So, I was having a really nice time, and then he pulled me behind one of the moving vans they used to transport the rides. He told me I was beautiful, and that he really wanted to make love to me. I was a virgin. You know—if he had just wanted to make out, I would have been fine, but as soon as he started to kiss me, his hands went to my breasts. I pushed them away and he continued to kiss me. Then his hands went between my legs. That's when I started to fight back. He wouldn't let me go. He had me pinned up against the van, and he pulled my shorts down. I started to scream. He slapped me and told me to shut up. That's when Dominik came out of nowhere and pulled him off of me. Dominik beat the crap out of him. Steve took off and Dominik came to me. He brought me to his trailer and sat me in a chair outside. He brought me ice for my cheek and apologized for losing it with my boyfriend. I remember he said some men are pigs, and he hoped one bad apple wouldn't ruin my ideas of sex and love."

"Wow."

"He told me if I waited until the carnival closed, he'd be happy to drive me home, and he gave me ten dollars to go on the rides. Instead, I walked back to where he was working one of the rides. I remember it was the swings. You know the ones that rise up and then go in a circle?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I know what you're talking about."

"We spent the night talking while he worked the ride. He was very sweet. He drove me home that night, and he said he understood Steve's want to bed me. He said I was very pretty, and a kiss good night would be the highlight of his week."

"So you kissed him?"

She smiled. "I kissed him. He's a really good kisser."

"So, then what?"

"I went back the next night with a few girlfriends. He drove me home that night and the next night, too. Then he left."

"He left?"

"The carnival moved onto another town. We called each other all the time. Two months later I finished high school, and I left home to be with him. My parents were furious because I was supposed to go on to college. Instead, I ran away with a gypsy."

"What ever happened to Steve?"

"I saw him at school. He had a black eye. We never spoke to each other again."

"Thank you, Klaudia. I feel better now that I've talked to you."

"Nate, this thing with Nadia and Niko—I know this is the situation you were hoping to avoid, but I think under the circumstances, the best we can do is offer protection."

"You mean condoms?"

"You brought some with you didn't you?"

"Of course I did."

"Would you leave them with me?"

"Don't you think that would be like giving them the go ahead?"

She stopped and took my both of my hands in hers. "And if we don't give them the condoms, than what?"

"Why can't she just abstain?"

"You're talking about Nadia. She's still just a child. She may be twenty-two, but she has the vulnerability of a seventeen year old. Hopefully, Stanislaw and Edyta will keep a close eye on the two of them, but you know how teenagers are. If you tell them 'no', they are just going to find a way to do it anyway."

I huffed out an aggravated sigh. "Fine. I'll give you the box of condoms."

We continued to walk. "It's for the best. Once they get to the mountain, things will change. You'll see."

"Well, I'm still bringing Burns next time, so I hope you'll keep the boys from shooting him because if they kill him, they'll have to kill me, too."

"I'll talk to them."

"Oh, and I don't want to sleep with Nadia anymore. I have a girlfriend now, and she does not appreciate my sleeping with Nadia."

"Gina's your girlfriend now?"

"No. She's with Evan. He is unaware of the past between me and Gina when we were here together. He thinks the trip we made was a platonic one. That's why I haven't let him come here. If he found out about me and Gina, she could lose him."

"Then you could be with her," Klaudia concluded.

"No. Gina loves him."

"Gina loves you. I've seen it in her face."

"I can't give Gina what she wants."

"Love?"

"No. I love her all right, but…" Sadness washed over me as I thought about the fact that I had practically given Gina away to Evan. Now, I regretted that move.

Klaudia squeezed my hand. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me. So, who is this girlfriend?"

"Her name is Victoria. She's taller than me and she's built like a warrior princess. She can handle a gun, too."

"She sounds tough."

"You would think so, right? She's got a tough exterior, but inside, she's as fragile as the next girl. She's got a heart of gold."

"Sounds like you love her, too."

"I actually love three women. You could easily make number four," I teased.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a very pregnant woman."

"I noticed. I just think that Dominik is a very lucky man."

"Thank you. I know our lifestyle is primitive compared to yours on the mountain, but Dominik really treats me well."

"I'm glad to hear that."

The rain let up and we made our way back to the camp. The guys were starting up a game of poker, and they asked me if I wanted to join them. Klaudia encouraged me to do so. I joined the circle and sat between Dominik and Stanislaw. Klaudia kissed Dominik and announced that she was going to take a nap. Dominik immediately offered to join her. She told him she was fine, and that he should stay and play cards. The entire time we played cards, the ladies were noticeably missing. There was no talk of Nadia and Niko. It was pure poker. A couple of hands in, Aleksander got up and returned with vodka. I passed. I wanted to leave as soon as the sun went down.

After an hour Ludmila and Edyta passed by on the way to cook dinner. The afternoon passed by quickly. There was still no sign of Nadia. Ludmilla called that dinner was ready. Dominik got up to check on his wife while the others gathered under the tarp for dinner. The light was waning, so I knew it would soon be dark. Dominik returned with Klaudia and they settled in to eat. Both Nadia and Niko were missing. I wasn't sure that Niko had returned from the woods.

"Where is Nadia?"

"She said she needed to sleep." Stanislaw replied. His statement seemed odd considering he had been playing poker with me for the last two hours.

"I'm going to check on her."

"Leave her be," Stanislaw ordered.

Now I was alarmed. I ducked into the cave and moved speedily to her room. She was lying in her bed asleep. I knelt down and gently touched her back. She jumped and slid to a sitting position pushing herself away from me.

"Nadia?"

She looked like a frightened child.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replied.

"Dinner's ready. Come and eat." I held out my hand. She refused to take it. "Did Stanislaw hurt you?"

"He's my father. He brought me into this world. He can take me out."

I crawled onto the bed and pulled her into a hug. She cried out in pain. I lifted her shirt and saw the welts on her back from where she had been beaten with a belt.

"Jesus." I collapsed onto my ass and held my head in my hands. "I never meant for this to happen."

"It's not your fault I'm a whore," she said softly.

"Then who's fault is it? I'm the one who took your virginity and I'm the one who's treated you like a sexual object for the last five years."

"But I love it when you make love to me."

"I loved it, too—but—my life is changing. I've made a commitment, and it's difficult for her to deal with my time with you, and yet I'm afraid that if I don't—you'll turn to Niko."

"Stanislaw said if he caught me with Niko again, I would never go to the mountain. He said he would send Niko alone, and I would never have anyone to love."

"I would not take Niko without you."

She started to cry. "You don't hate me?"

"I could never hate you." I pulled her into my arms, and she again cried out in pain. I backed away and scooted to my feet.

"Ogier!" she cried, as I fled the room.

I rushed to the others and walked up to Klaudia. I stood directly in front of her and reached out my hand to her. "I need you, now," I said sternly.

"Okay." She looked confused and allowed me to help her to her feet. "Come with me," I instructed. We entered the mine, and I turned to her. "Do you still have the medicines I gave to you last time?"

"Yes, why?"

"Stanislaw beat Nadia with a belt." Klaudia didn't look surprised. "That's why you took me for the walk, isn't it?"

Klaudia's eyes filled with tears. "Stanislaw is an angry, violent man. It's not the first time he's taken a belt to one of us."

"One of us? He's hit you, too?"

"He said when I married into his family; I became one of his children. It was a long time ago, but I'll never forget it."

_Jesus Christ! Why the fuck did I save his ass? I should have let him die._ I pulled her into my arms and hugged her. "Would you do me a favor and get the medicine and meet me in Nadia's room?"

I released her, and she went to her room. I found Nadia lying in the bed crying.

"Come on, sweetheart, sit up. I'm going to take care of your back."

Klaudia entered the room carrying the meds. I took the bag from her and searched for the 'no pain'. I looked at Klaudia.

"Always give them the 'no pain' first. I've been told that healing without it is painful at first. I've only known one person who was healed that way, and he's normally a strong guy. He wouldn't admit to anyone, but he told me the muscle burns as it heals." I had Klaudia watch me as I pulled the single slip of 'no pain' from the bottle. "Here, open your mouth," I instructed Nadia. I placed the 'no pain' on her tongue. In just a matter of seconds, Nadia smiled. "I'm all better!" she trilled.

"No, you're not, but now we can heal you. Take off your sweater."

Nadia happily pulled her sweater over her head exposing her bare breasts. She rarely wore a bra that I knew of. She had a hickey above one of her breasts. It made me sick to think that her own nephew had sucked on her breasts. I drew in a deep breath.

"Turn around and lift your hair."

She turned her back to us revealing the bruises from the belt which lined her back with streaks of blacks and blues. I bit down on my upper lip to keep myself from spewing the fact that Stanislaw was a sadistic bastard. I sprayed the 'heal' in an even sheet across her back making sure that I covered every inch that was bruised. The heal was effective quickly and Klaudia watched as the bruises turned from black and blue, to green, to yellow, and then her skin looked absolutely pristine.

"That's amazing," Klaudia said barely above a whisper. "Can I take 'no pain' when I'm in labor?"

"I don't see why not, but I wouldn't take anything else. I wouldn't heal anything until the baby is out. I don't know what effect it could have on your cervix. If you think about it, you might tear giving birth. If you took the 'heal', you might repair the tear before the baby is out, trapping the baby inside. Do you understand?"

"Yes, no 'heal', only 'no pain'," she repeated.

I turned back to Nadia. "Put your sweater back on."

Nadia did as she was told like an obedient child. Klaudia forced a smile and left.

I sat on the mattress next to Nadia. "Come here." She scooted closer, and I brushed her messy hair over her shoulder. "All you have to do is be good for nine months. Then I'll take you away from this place, and you'll see a whole new world out there. Sex may not even be a priority. There are so many options you can choose from. You can go back to school with Max and Miranda and learn about history, English, and mathematics. Victoria is an artist. She could teach you all about art if you wanted. Rachel is a whiz with hair and makeup. She could teach you to cut hair if you had a passion for it. We have a pool table. Have you ever played pool?" Nadia shook her head. "Well, I'm the king of the pool table. I could teach you to play. In the summertime, we play baseball. There are a million things you could do on the mountain—oh, and we have TV."

"But what about you?" She placed her hands on my chest. "I like having you here. You always make love to me real good."

"If you can stay away from Niko, I'll come back and I'll make love to you. Okay?" I brushed my hand across her jawline. "I dream of the day I can see you happy." I leaned in to kiss her. She grabbed my face and reciprocated. I tasted the salt from her tears on her lips. "Come on, let's go eat dinner."

We got up and made our way to the entrance of the mine. We could hear shouting. As we reached the outside camp, I saw that Stanislaw was on the warpath. Obviously Klaudia had told them that we healed Nadia, and she was standing her ground with him.

"She was punished for a reason!" he blurted out. "You have no right to heal her. I ought to beat you! Maybe you don't remember being taught to mind your business!" Stanislaw walked toward Klaudia with his hand raised as if to strike her. Dominik had been silent, but now he jumped in front of Klaudia and defended her. He shoved Stanislaw backward.

"You touch her and I'll kill you, old man!"

Klaudia saw me enter the camp site and ran to me. I wrapped my arm protectively around her. "Stanislaw!" I called out creating a break in the impending fight between father and son. "I can take them all with me tonight. Dominik and Klaudia and Adrienne. Niko and Nadia. You'll be left alone. Is that what you want? Is that what Ludmilla wants? You want to alienate your family?"

Ludmilla jumped into the fray. "No more beatings!" she demanded.

"What?" Stanislaw answered. "Dominik won't raise a hand to me," he said defiantly.

Dominik once again spoke with authority. "You have your family. Klaudia is my family. She's everything to me. I'd kill for her, even you, Papa."

Adrienne had been sitting with Roman, and now she got up and sprinted to Nadia. Nadia scooped her up into her arms. We presented a unified front to Stanislaw.

"It's you choice, Papa. I am not a boy anymore. Do we stay?—or do we go?"

"Stanislaw!" Ludmilla cried out.

Stanislaw backed up and regained his composure.

"Stay," he said calmly.

Dominik turned toward me and Klaudia, who was still secure in my arms.

"I love you, Klaudy. What do you want to do?"

"I love your family. We can stay for now." I knew she said it for his sake, but I also knew she would begin her quest to convince them all to relocate to the mountain. I released Klaudia, and she ran to Dominik. He kissed her tenderly.

"They'll be no more violence here," Dominik announced. "If and when Niko returns to the camp, he will be spoken to as an adult. Hopefully, the threat of him losing his chance to go to the mountain should outweigh his primal urges."

"Here, here," I called out.

"Come. Let us sit down and eat the stew before it burns," Ludmilla said with an air of authority. Ludmilla had just finished ladling out the last bowl of stew when Niko approached the camp cautiously.

"Niko, good of you to come back. Sit next to your Aunt Klaudia. She will speak to you after dinner," Dominik said calmly.

Niko's eyes darted around the campfire, first to his mother, then his father, then to Nadia, who was seated next to me, and finally to Stanislaw.

"Sit, boy. Eat. I am not your father," Stanislaw said as reassurance that it was not his place to dole out his punishment.

Aleksander raised his head and spoke to Niko slowly and deliberately. "You have disgraced me. I can't look at you right now. For that reason, Klaudia and Dominik will talk to you after we eat."

Niko breathed out an audible sigh of relief, and then his eyes caught Nadia's. "Did he hurt you?" he asked her.

I answered his question before she was able to. "Yes, Niko. She took the beating for both of you. Luckily, we had the medicine to help her. If you care at all about your Aunt Nadia, you will treat her with respect and not as a common whore."

He began to defend himself, "I never…"

Stanislaw spoke up. "Enough! I don't wish to talk about it anymore!"

Everyone promptly shut up and ate their stew. When dinner was over, I announced that I would be leaving. Klaudia gave me a heartfelt hug, and Nadia seemed as if she didn't want to let go.

"You promise you'll come back?"

"Have I ever broken a promise to you?"

"No."

"I'm not about to start now. I'll be back, I promise. You be good," I tapped my finger lovingly on the tip of her nose. Then I leaned in and kissed her passionately. I jumped into the driver's seat, and she kissed me again through the window. I breathed out a tremendous sigh of relief as I pulled away.

I tried desperately to put the last twenty four hours out of my head. I couldn't decide which was worse, Nadia playing Russian roulette with her uterus and Niko or Stanislaw ruling the clan with an iron fist. I called Burns and let him know I was on my way. I gave him the low down on everything that had transpired. He wasn't thrilled with my wish for him to accompany me on the next trip. Before we hung up, I asked him to let Victoria know that I was on my way. He said she was at the house watching old scary movies on the VCR with Danny and the other teens. I asked him if Blake was included in that group, and he said he was. I worried about whether they had spoken to each other. If Blake begged her to be his girlfriend, what were the chances that Victoria would take him up on the offer? These are thoughts that plagued me as I drove the six hours back to my home.


	61. Chapter 61

**Because I love you….**

LOSING THEM ALL

12/10/2002 – It's been crazy since I got back to the mountain. The wedding is only three days away, and Ian is pushing me to help him get the house in the woods ready for his bride, so I have been spending every second of the day with him. The bedroom is done. Now we are working on the bathroom.

As for Victoria, she was waiting for me in my bed—naked. Thankfully, I had the forethought to shower considering I smelled like a smoked mudpuppy. When I slipped into the bed and touched her tight body, I was extremely grateful to be home. I made love to her, and then we talked, and then I made love to her again. Ian left a note on my door saying he figured I had gotten in late, but he hoped I would join him on the special project. I think it perturbed Victoria just a little when I rushed to join him. Apparently, Wanda was holding dance classes in the fun house after school each day, so Burns took the opportunity to join us and used the time to drill me on what the hell was going on at the gypsy camp.

Last night, things went back to normal. Tori played poker with Blake, Ian, and a few others while I played pool with who else? Wanda. She was getting pretty good at the game and beating her was not so easy anymore. I was tired, so I decided to turn in early. I kissed her on the cheek and left her with her poker buddies. I hope Blake doesn't see it as a sign that Victoria and I are on the outs, because that certainly isn't the case.

So, that's about it, diary. Busy, busy, busy…

I closed my journal and placed it on the shelf. I climbed under the covers and shut off the light. I was almost asleep when I heard a light knock on the door. The door creaked open a few inches, and the light from a lantern illuminated my room through the crack.

"Are you awake?"

It was Gina. I hadn't really seen her since I got back.

"Gina. Come on in." I scooted to a sitting position and turned on the light.

"Mind if I talk to you for a few minutes?"

"Sure, angel."

"I thought we were friends."

I was surprised at her remark. "We are."

"You never said anything about leaving. I had to find out from Blake."

"I'm sorry. I've had a lot going through my head with Victoria and the wedding."

"Evan and I have been fighting again."

"Not over me, I hope."

"No—children."

"You told him you couldn't have children?"

"No. I told him I didn't want children. If I tell him I can't have children, he's going to want to know why."

"So, tell him."

"No. I don't want him to love me because he feels sorry for me."

"Is that what you think—that I love you because I feel sorry for you?"

"I think you did at one time."

"Did you forget your birthday? That was a labor of love."

"I know, but…"

"But you're coming to me because you are upset with Evan. If it was me you truly wanted, it would be one thing, but you love Evan."

"I love you, too."

"And I love you. I always will."

Victoria slipped into the room and caught us in mid-conversation. Fortunately, although Gina was sitting on the edge of the bed, we were not embracing or kissing or even holding hands.

"Am I interrupting?" Victoria said cautiously.

"No, my love. Gina was just coming to me for advice."

"At eleven o'clock at night?" Victoria said sarcastically.

"I should go," Gina said obviously feeling uneasy with the situation.

Victoria was terse. "Yes, you should go."

"Victoria!" I scolded her.

"Fine. Fuck her brains out," Victoria bellowed and walked out.

"Victoria!" I called after her. "_Jesus Christ_!" I threw the covers back. Luckily, I was wearing my boxers, not that Gina had never seen me naked, but it was the principle of the thing. "Gina, stay here. I'll be right back."

"I didn't mean to start any trouble," she said innocently.

"I know you didn't." I pulled on my pants and stuffed my feet into my shoes. "I really want to continue this conversation, but I need to get some things straight with Victoria.

"Sure, I know."

"Give me five minutes." I rushed out of my room and ran down the hall in the darkness. She wasn't in her room. _Shit! _I did an about face and marched back to my room. Instead of going in, I decided to check the room the boys were in. Both Danny and Blake shared that room. There was a chance I'd find her there. I didn't. The room was dark and quiet. If she was in there, she obviously didn't make a peep. I sulked back to me room. I walked in and found Gina and Victoria in there together. _Uh oh._

"I went looking for you," I said solemnly, as I entered the room.

"I know. I jumped to conclusions. I'm sorry."

"I was telling Victoria that Evan has been pushing me for a baby, and I don't want to have a baby right now." Gina explained.

I creased my eyebrows. "I think you should tell him to step off. If you don't want a baby, then you shouldn't be forced into it. It's not like Sunny who said she _never_ wants a baby. You're only twenty, you have plenty of time," I said in an effort to cover that I knew Gina couldn't have children.

"Why are you against her having a baby?" Victoria asked.

"I'm not. I'm trying to support her decision."

"It doesn't sound that way to me," Victoria argued.

"Jesus, Victoria. This conversation was between Gina and me."

"I'm so sorry to interfere in your private conversation between you and your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Then, what the fuck?"

I drew in a deep breath. "I don't know," I said in defeat. It was difficult for me to say anything else because Victoria didn't know about Gina's past, and I couldn't tell her.

"I didn't come here to start trouble between the two of you. I just wanted to vent to Nate. He's been my closest friend since I arrived at the mountain."

"He's also been your lover whenever you and Evan hit a rough spot."

"He was never in a committed relationship," she said in her defense.

"No, but you were."

"You hate me, don't you?" Gina replied.

"I don't hate you. I hate that you use my boyfriend as your crutch every time you feel like Evan is going to dump you."

Gina started to cry. "I loved him before you did," she whimpered.

"You never loved him. If you did, you wouldn't have let him go," Victoria snarled.

Gina struck back. "He didn't want me. He wanted Wanda. At least I'm not pretending it's me he loves."

"Aren't you?" Victoria countered.

"Ladies!" They were fighting over me.

"Who _do_ you love, Nate?" Victoria asked.

_Fuck. I'm backed into a corner._

"I have feelings for each of you. I've never lied to either of you of my feelings for Wanda—and I've never forgotten that both of you also have feelings for someone else as well. I've lost Gina to Evan and it's only a matter of time before Victoria loses interest in me and goes to Blake. Who will I be with then? No one."

"There's always Nadia," Victoria replied.

"If I loved Nadia, I would have married her years ago."

"If you loved me, you would marry me," Victoria countered.

I looked directly into her yes. "Are we in that place, Victoria?"

She stared at the ground. "No."

I turned to Gina. "Were we ever in that place, Gina?"

"I wanted to be, but…"

"But you ran to Evan because you couldn't take me loving Wanda. Even after I gave you the birthday party of a lifetime, you still ran back to him. How am I supposed to feel?" I turned to Victoria. "And you. You couldn't wait to fall into bed with Blake. If he had been better than me, would you have run back to me? You know you get all pissed because I try to maintain a loyal friendship to all the women in my life, but the truth is the one who always gets hurt in the end is me." I grabbed a T-shirt and pulled it over my head. I snatched my coat off of the chair. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to sleep in the bunkhouse."

I marched out of the cave with my dignity in tact. I had no girlfriend, but I had piece of mind. I slept alone that night and in the morning, I again worked with Ian on the house. The guests were due to arrive late tonight which meant this would be our last chance to get everything ready. We put down the carpet, set up the bed, rearranged the dressers, and chopped wood for the fireplace. I managed to get Maria and Rachel to come in and give the place that feminine touch. They made the bed and put fresh towels and toiletries in the bathroom. I had a chance to vent to Ian while we chopped wood.

"Last night, Victoria walked in on me and Gina talking. She got all bent out of shape. We weren't even doing anything. The whole thing ended in one big mess, and I had to remind them both that I've never stopped loving Wanda. You don't know how lucky you are, Ian."

"That's where your wrong, Nate. I am grateful that you weren't able to snatch her away from me. Kyle has been driving me nuts about the two of you. He's seen the two of you clinging to each other. I know you feel like once we're married that you've lost her, but you're wrong. She's always going have you in her heart."

At lunch, the girls were all there. Gina was with Evan. Apparently, she had said something to appease him for now. I wish she would tell him the truth. My biggest fear was that they would marry, and then he'd find out that she couldn't bear children and he'd feel cheated. At least if I had married Gina, it would have been with the understanding that I'd never be a father. Wanda was sitting with her posse of girls, Lily, Maggie, her future mother-in-law, Kim, and Trudy. Even Ian had no room to sit. He ended up kissing her and taking a seat at the table with the guys. Victoria was sitting with her brother and his friends which of course included Blake. Victoria had left the seat next to her empty. She gazed at me as I picked out a sandwich and added mayo to it. I grabbed a soda from the cooler filled with ice and headed to her table.

"Is it okay if I sit here?"

"I was hoping that you would," she said sweetly. This was really forced because Victoria wasn't what one would label sweet.

I sat next to her and kissed her the cheek. The gesture she made was good, but we were far from out of the woods in regards to our relationship.

"The next few days are going to be crazy with the guests arriving tonight. I'll be running myself ragged," I said it to the entire table, but it was meant for Victoria's ears. I loved her, but right now, I didn't need to spend the next few days in constant conflict with her.

After lunch, I kissed Victoria good-bye in the privacy of the bunkhouse.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" she asked.

"You know the others won't arrive till around midnight."

"Is that a no?"

"Tori, I told you I would never kick you out of my bed. I just want you to know that I might not be up to satisfying you tonight by the time I get our guests in their rooms."

"Maybe I just want the satisfaction of knowing that I'm the one in your bed."

"Right, because Wanda is going to jump in my bed tonight," I said sarcastically.

"Okay, maybe I want you to have the satisfaction of knowing that I didn't 'fall into Blake's bed' as you so eloquently put it."

"I'm sorry. That was cruel of me, but you're not the only one who feels jealousy, you know."

"I know. Your place—midnight?"

"I might be late."

"I'll wait up."

I kissed her. She seemed satisfied. I was, and right now that was all that mattered.

During dinner, Ian came to me. "Hey, can I meet you in your room at say seven o'clock? I have something important to discuss with you."

"Sure, what's this about?"

"Seven o'clock." Ian said, as he patted me on the shoulder and walked away.

After dinner I took a shower and headed back to my room for the mysterious meeting that Ian had called. I didn't have a clue as to what it could be about. I assumed it was probably about the wedding. Maybe he was planning another surprise for his bride that he wanted me in on. I was cleaning up my room when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" I called out as I picked up some dirty clothes off the floor and tossed them into the laundry basket.

Ian entered with Wanda in tow. Ian turned to her and addressed her.

"Give me your ring."

"Why?" She sounded panicked.

"Don't ask questions. You'll get it back. I promise," he replied in a calm voice.

Wanda looked at me as if to ask me what was the deal? I had no clue. I couldn't do anything but shrug my shoulders. Once Ian possessed the ring he turned to me.

"Nate, you have been my biggest ally in preparing for my wedding. I know you love her as I do."

Then he turned to Wanda. "I told you a few weeks ago about my fear that you won't be able to keep your promise to me because of your feelings for Nate. Kyle has noticed that you are both reaching out to each other. Before I marry you, you need to have what you both seem to be wanting. A last chance to be with each other. I'm giving you that chance."

"Ian, No!"

_What the fuck? He's lost his mind._

Ian backed away from Wanda toward the door. "Do what you need to do. I'll be waiting for you."

He turned and quickly left the room. Wanda and I just stared at each other from opposite ends of the room.

"I swear, I didn't know anything about this," I said in my defense.

"I can't do this." She sounded scared. She turned to leave.

I thought about the conversation Ian and I had only today while chopping the wood. He said that Kyle had been watching us. It all started when Kyle saw me kiss Wanda when she returned to the mountain. "Wait! Don't go," I pleaded. She stopped. "You know if you go back to him now, he'll only bring you back."

"Do you think I've been reaching out to you lately?"

"No more than usual. This is my fault. I started this. I shouldn't have kissed you when you came back, but I couldn't help it. I missed you, too."

"Does Ian think I'm going to sleep with you?"

I shook my head slowly. "I don't know _what_ he's thinking."

"You know that will never happen, don't you?"

"Well, I had hopes at one time, but with the wedding two days away, I'm pretty much resigned to friendship status."

"Friends forever."

My heart was pounding. I needed closure at the very least. "I wouldn't mind a last kiss though. A real kiss." I crossed the room to where she was standing and took her hands in mine. I led her to the bed, and we both sat on the edge. The last time she was in my room I had almost bedded her. Now she was just days away from being Mrs. Ian O'Shea. She was so beautiful, her porcelain skin practically glowed.

"Okay, but not on the bed," she said tentatively.

I couldn't help but smile. "What? Are you afraid it might go further?"

"Aren't you?"

"Afraid? No. I'm not the one getting married."

"You're right. I should go." She stood up to leave.

I hopped off the bed and blocked her exit. "You know I wouldn't be asking this of you if Ian hadn't given his permission. This is my last chance to kiss your lips, ever." I brushed the back of my fingers along her delicate face. "You know you haven't asked me about Victoria at all since you came back."

"Because I don't want to know."

"Why?" I pressed.

"Because."

"Because why?" I was persistent. Ian had told me that I still held a place in her heart, and I just wanted to hear it from her.

"Nate!" she whined.

"Tell me. I want to know." I wasn't about to let it rest. I needed to hear it from her lips.

"Because I'm jealous. That's why. Are you happy now?"

"So you still love me." It wasn't a question but a statement.

"Nate, I…"

"I'll love you forever. You know that, don't you?" I leaned close and stroked her face. "Let me have this one thing." Wanda closed her eyes. I took that as an invitation. I leaned in slowly until my lips touched hers. They were so perfect, not too thin and not too thick. They were warm and soft. I kissed her repeatedly and at first she didn't respond, but on the third kiss she did. I caressed her head and face. I let my lips wander to her neck and then back to her lips. I wanted to take her and throw her down and show her that I was a force to be reckoned with. After all, how could she compare apples and oranges if she'd never eaten an orange?

"Don't stop," she whispered. It seemed as though she wanted this as much as I did. I stared into her warm eyes and pressed my lips to hers again. Her hands traveled to my shoulders and then over my biceps. She caressed my chest as our tongues caressed each other. We kissed like this for a long time. I had to fight the urge to scoop her off the floor and throw her onto the bed. My dick was tight in my pants. I pushed her backwards until she was up against the wall. I pressed myself against her and knowing her pussy was so close to my dick made me want her even more. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take. She opened her legs slightly, and I pushed my way between them. My dick was throbbing. It seemed to me that I might get my wish. I continued to kiss her, and I held her neck as I licked her jaw line.

"Oh Nate," she stammered.

"Say it," I whispered.

"I want you."

She said it. She wanted me. She was about to marry the Neanderthal that had gone from enemy to close friend, and she wanted me. I kissed her again. I took my time because I knew this was the last kiss. I couldn't do this to Ian. The repercussions would be disastrous in so many ways. Victoria flashed into my mind, Ian flashed into my mind, Ian's parents, Kyle, the entire clan at the caverns, Maria! She'd be digging my grave right next to my mother. I don't think either of us wanted to stop. It was I who ended the kiss.

I was breathless. "Thank you."

The tears in her eyes escaped and slid down her cheek. "We are friends now. Do you understand?" she whimpered.

I shook my head and turned away from her. "I'll remember this kiss forever."

"I will, too," she blurted out, and then she fled the room.

The emotions I had been blocking all this time came to me like a great flood. I collapsed on my bed and pulled the pillow over my face. I let out a wail, and my eyes released the tears I had refused to shed in her presence. I had been shielding my emotions for so long, telling myself that Victoria was the girl for me, and a mere ten minutes with Wanda changed all that. This wedding was going to be brutal.

I finally pulled myself together and left my room. We had closed the fun house, so the ladies could give it a good cleaning. We still used it for the dining room, but school was officially canceled for the next two days until after the wedding. Most of the card players were holed up in the root cellar. It was warmer than the cave because we were using the electric space heater that was purchased for use in the bathroom of Ian and Wanda's home since there still wasn't any heat. The fireplace would heat the bedroom, but the bathroom needed the space heater.

The living room was filled with the teens who were staying up late since there was no school tomorrow. The idea of adding another dozen guests seemed overwhelming. I didn't see Ian or Wanda anywhere. I could only assume they were holed up in their room.

Tori was, of course, playing cards. I entered the root cellar and made a beeline for her. I massaged her shoulders, and she seemed pleased by my touch.

"Are you missing the pool table?" she asked.

"I miss a lot of things," I said referring to her. I was trying to forget about Wanda by giving my attention to Tori, but it wasn't really working.

"You can join us if you want," Tori offered.

I looked over at Blake. He looked perturbed by my presence. He irked me. I used to like Blake well enough, but now I found him to be a threat. I pulled a folding chair from against the wall and set it next to Victoria. I sat next to her and laid my head on her shoulder.

"I'm tired," I muttered.

She caressed my head with her free hand. "You poor baby."

Inside, I was thinking, _Ha Blake! She's mine. _I lifted my head to address her. "I'm going to see if I can sprawl out on the living room floor and take a little nap before our guests arrive."

"Okay," she said nonchalantly.

I waited for her to kiss me, but she didn't. Finally, I kissed her on the cheek and went on my way. I entered the house. The living room was dark with the exception of the light from the TV. The kids were lying all over the furniture. Jamie and Megan were lying on the floor paying more attention to each other than the movie. I lay next to them on my back on the floor. I looked over at them and smiled.

"Hey, wake me up at eleven thirty," I instructed them. Then I closed my eyes and promptly passed out. Megan shook me awake right on time. Some of the younger kids had gone to bed, but Jamie, Megan, Carlos, Sarah, and Danny were still camped out watching late night comedy. I knew Jamie was waiting for his sister to arrive. Melanie and Jared were in the first vehicle driven by Aaron which arrived just after midnight. The second vehicle driven by Ice showed up fifteen minutes later. He was a soul and therefore hadn't pushed the speed limit the way Aaron had.

I managed to get everyone settled into the bunkhouse just before one o'clock in the morning. I made my way back to the cave and found Tori lying naked in my bed. I stripped down and joined her. I didn't really want sex. I just wanted to feel loved. I wanted her to hold me and comfort me. She had her back to me, so I spooned her. The problem was as soon as I pulled her naked body to mine, my body persuaded my mind to have a change of heart. My dick twitched as it rested against her wonderful heart-shaped ass.

"Nate?"

"Hi, Xena."

"What time is it?"

"Late."

She was quiet. I could only assume she fell back to sleep.

"Tori?"

"What?"

"Will you hold me?"

She rolled onto her back. "Nate, what's wrong?"

"I just need you."

She rolled toward me and pulled me into her arms. "This is about Wanda isn't it?"

I didn't answer her. She knew she was right.

"I was wondering how long it would take to hit you. I don't know what to do to make it better."

"Just hold me."

And she did. She held me tight to her breasts, and I began to suck on them. They were small like Wanda's. In the dark, I pretended she _was _Wanda. I kissed her mouth and even though I knew it was Tori, I convinced myself that it was Wanda. The blackness of the room lent credibility to my delusion. Tori and I never made love in the dark. I always turned on the light. I mounted her and fucked her. She never spoke. It was almost as if she knew my motives. In the darkness she couldn't see the tears in my eyes.

When it was over, I turned on the light and pulled a towel off the shelf to clean the jism off of her belly. There was no elation, no relief—just a tightness in my stomach. "Thank you," was all I said as I climbed into the bed and turned out the light. I pulled her into my arms and held her. After a few minutes, she broke the silence.

"Nate?"

"Hmm?" I mumbled, as I was almost asleep.

"Say my name."

I thought this was an odd request. "Victoria," I replied. Then I suddenly realized that she had known all along that I wished she was Wanda. "Thank you, Victoria." I thought my thanks would appease her.

In the morning, I woke up feeling tense. One more day till the wedding. I had a mountain full of people. Victoria stirred as I sat on the edge of the bed putting on my clothes.

"Hey," she said in a little voice.

"Hey."

"What time is it?"

"Nine o'clock. I need to get to the house. We have a ton of people here. I need to keep them entertained. Can you help me?"

"I suppose." She sounded less than enthusiastic.

"You don't have to."

"No. I'll help. I'd like to feel like more than your whore."

I was shocked at the statement. Before I could think it through, I spoke. "Victoria, do I make you feel like a whore?"

"You did last night."

Last night was no different than other nights we had sex except maybe I was in a hurry and didn't give her as much foreplay as I usually did. "How did I make you feel like a whore last night?"

"Who did you screw last night?"

Did she think I slept with Wanda? "You!" I bellowed.

"If you had screwed _me_, I would have been happy. You didn't even use a condom."

"I pulled out!" I said in my defense.

"What's the matter? Were you afraid if you turned on the light, your fantasy that I was Wanda would crumble?"

"There _was_ no fantasy!" I lied.

"I saw her come out of your room last night. She was crying. She was crying because she knew she broke your heart."

Now I was more confused than ever. "Then why did you come back here last night? Why were you naked in my bed?"

"Because I love you and I wanted to be here for you. I wanted you to make love to _me_—not _her_!

I didn't know what to say. She was right. I had used her. I didn't take her feelings into consideration. "What do you want me to say, Victoria?"

"Nothing. I don't want you to say a damn thing!"

She got dressed in silence. I wanted to stop her, but I knew I should let her go. I wasn't going to be focused on anything except Wanda until after the wedding, and even then, I didn't know how long my depression would last, so I kept silent. Before Victoria left, she stopped and turned to me at the door.

"I still love you. I just wish you loved me."

"I do," I said softly.

"You know last night when I asked you to say my name, you said 'thank you, Victoria.' I wish you had said 'I love you,' instead." Before I could come up with a reasonable answer, she was gone.

As if I wasn't feeling shitty enough; now I had Victoria's broken heart to add to my laundry list of woes. _Come on, Nate. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps. You are the leader around here. Act like one. _I decided I wouldn't allow anything I was feeling to distract me from my duties. I finished dressing, ran a brush through my hair, and headed for the house with only a minor stop to brush my teeth at the outside sink. I had a feeling the bathroom would be in use and I was right. There was a line with four people waiting to use the bathroom. I bypassed the line and went straight to the kitchen. Gina, Rachel, and Megan were cooking up breakfast for everyone. Gina saw me as soon as I entered.

"Nathan!" she called out happily. "Have a seat. I'll have pancakes for you in a few minutes." She poured coffee in a cup and set it on the table where I was seated. Evan was next to me. I leaned closed to him and whispered, "What did you do to her?"

He whispered back. "I asked her to marry me."

"What?" I said out loud.

"She's been pushing for a while now, so…"

"What about the baby situation?" I asked.

"I told her I could wait a year or two."

I gave Gina a hard stare.

"What's wrong?" Evan asked. "Did you think she was going to leave me for you?"

I had to get out of there. I got up and walked out. I practically ran into Ian as I entered the living room.

"Hey, Nate!" he sounded exuberant.

"What do you want?" I said in anger.

"Whoa! Wanda told me what happened. I wanted to thank you for not crossing any boundaries."

"What are you talking about? I kissed her."

"I know you did, but you didn't take it any further."

"Thank her, not me." I shot out of the house and hightailed it into the woods. I made my way to the path that led to my mother's grave. That's where I found Victoria.

"What are you doing here?" I wondered.

"I could ask the same thing. Are you following me?" she shot back with malice.

"No, I didn't follow you. This is my mother's grave," I reminded her.

"Well, I like coming here. It's peaceful. I know your mother's body is here, but my father's spirit is here, too. I can feel him."

"You _feel _your father's spirit?"

"You don't feel your mother?"

"No, I just talk to her because I know she's here."

"She's happy whenever you're here. I think it's because she knows you're still alive and human."

I suddenly felt the need to make amends. "Victoria, I never meant to treat you badly."

"I know."

"But you're right. I should have said I love you."

"I don't want you to say it if you don't feel it."

"Just because I love others doesn't mean I don't love you."

"So you still love Gina, too."

I smiled weakly. "Do you hate me?"

"I think I hate Gina."

"She's getting married."

"Yeah?"

"That's why I'm here. I'm losing all of you."

"Well you haven't lost me yet."

"You know I'm going to be a real dick for the next week or so until I get this Wanda thing out of my head."

"I know. That's why I've decided that I'll be there for you. I'll sleep in your bed, but there won't be a repeat of last night."

I walked toward her and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Why are you so good to me?"

"Because I'm so stupid!"

I smiled. "I love you." I meant it.


	62. Chapter 62

**I'm sorry this took so long, but a very handsome doctor has been demanding and commanding my attention. Don't worry, I'm not sick or anything like that.**

**Seriously, I've been working on FTLOB book 2 and that took me over a week to read and notate all of the corrections to send to the publisher. Unfortunately, this process is not done and I will have to read the book again once they have made the changes. So, unfortunately it could be another 2 weeks before you see the next chapter. But I won't stop writing, I promise. At least it's a long chapter….**

BROKEN HEART

12-13-2002 – It is with a heavy heart that I greet this morning. Wanda and Ian are going to be married today. Last night we had Ian's bachelor party. It was just a bunch of guys getting drunk. I had a few drinks myself. I went to bed before things got out of hand. I figured in the mood I was in I might become belligerent and although Ian would probably understand, Kyle wouldn't, and the last thing I needed was to get into a fist-de-cuffs with him. Besides, he was battling his own demons with the sudden departure of Sunny. I always thought it was ironic how the women who don't want children often end up pregnant and the women like Gina, who would treasure being a mother, couldn't get pregnant, although it wasn't really Gina's fault that she'd ended up in this situation. I hope the man who did this to her never steps foot on this mountain because if he does, I just might kill him. Evan has asked Gina to marry him with the understanding that she would try to get pregnant in a year or two. He has no idea that the likelihood of that happening is very small.

Victoria came to check on me last night after the bridal shower broke up. She didn't stay though. She said she could tell I was hurting and she felt that her being there only fueled the hurt. I'm not really sure what she meant by that, but she said it was better that she leave knowing that I still had some love for her in my heart. I don't know. I love Victoria, but I can't get Wanda out of my head. Our brief interlude the other night was magical. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can stand there and watch her profess her love for Ian.

The morning was crazy. The women had taken over the house. The wedding party was busy getting ready. I was told that Kim and Lily were doing hair and Nadine was doing make-up. Maria and Aunt Sue were already preheating the pans of food. Rachel was in the bunkhouse working on the men. Haircuts and shaves were on the agenda. I had gotten both from Rachel before and it became a sensual game between us. I wondered if any of the others felt any sexual tension with Rachel. I managed to score some private time in the bathroom. I showered, shaved, and got back into the clothes I had been wearing. The three suits that I had managed take with me when I ran had been stored in the house in Burns's room. When I think about it now, it was quite petty of me considering I was running for my life, but I guess even then, I had hope that life as we knew it would not come to an end—and the suits were tailored to my specifications.

Yesterday, I had retrieved my black formal suit that in my younger days was reserved only for special occasions. I hadn't even taken it out of the plastic bag it was in. For all I knew it could be wrinkled and moth eaten.

Rachel saw me as I exited the bathroom.

"Nate!" she hollered. "You're next!"

"I don't have time," I replied. "I need to check on the reception hall."

At that moment, Megan came running into the building. "Kyle! Sunny's back!" she bellowed.

Kyle had been lounging on his bunk tossing a baseball into the air and catching it before it hit him in the face. He snatched the ball out of the air and sat up quickly. "She's here?"

"Yes," Megan blurted out, as she stood catching her breath.

Kyle jumped off the bed and headed for the door.

"Wait!" Megan screeched. "She said she's here for the wedding. She said she's not sure if she's staying. Wanda doesn't think right now is the time to confront her."

Ian approached his brother. "She's been gone awhile. Maybe you should think about how you should approach this. You know—give each of you a chance to see each other before you open your mouth. Feel each other out."

"You think I'll screw up."

Burns, who was sitting in the chair getting his hair cut, spoke up. "Maybe, you could send her a note; letting her know that you are happy she has returned. That way; she won't feel pressured right off the bat.

"Does anyone have a paper and pen?" Ian asked in an effort to be supportive.

"I'll get you some," I called out. It gave me a chance to check out the reception hall. I knew my artistic girlfriend had a hand in the décor. I entered the adjacent building to find Victoria and Holly arranging the flowers on the arbor.

"Hey."

"Hey!" Tori responded cheerfully.

"This place looks beautiful."

"Thanks. We're almost done," Tori replied.

"Well, you better hurry if you are going to get beautiful in time for the nuptials." I thought about how that sounded. "Not that you ladies aren't beautiful already."

"Nice save," Holly shot back.

I pulled the desk away from the wall it had been turned toward in an effort to protect the contents. I pulled the top drawer open. Inside was an assortment of supplies including several pads and writing utensils.

"What are you doing?" Victoria asked.

"Sunny's back, but she's not ready to face Kyle. He's going to write her a little note." I grabbed the items I needed, slid the desk back into place, and sauntered over to Victoria. I kissed her quickly, the way any established couple would do.

"Are you going to be all right?" she asked.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "Right now, I'm too busy to think about it. Just do me a favor and stay close."

"I will."

I turned and rushed out the door and back to the bunkhouse. Kyle took the paper from me. Burns was just getting out of the chair.

"Your turn, Nate," Rachel announced.

"No, no, take someone else."

"There is no one else. Besides, I have to get _myself _ready. It's now or never."

"Fine!" I answered in defeat.

I sat in the chair and drew in a deep sigh. Rachel pulled the comb through my hair.

"You sure seem edgy," she observed.

"It's the first wedding since the takeover."

She spoke slowly and deliberately. "But—you're—not—the one getting married. Is that the problem?"

"No!" I snapped. "I'm never getting married."

The room fell silent. I think everyone was thinking the same thing. It was Ian who came to my rescue.

"So you're not the marrying kind. There's nothing wrong with that. Besides, all the ladies love you."

"That's right," Rachel added. "I was once bitten myself."

It was the first time Rachel had admitted the affair. Thankfully, Rob wasn't in the bunkhouse. I could only assume he was back at the cave getting ready.

"You slept with Rachel?" Kyle asked. He and Rob had become pretty good friends over the last week.

"It was a long time ago," I said trying to make light of it.

"Is there anyone on this mountain that you _haven't_ slept with?" Kyle said sarcastically.

I was annoyed and I let him get the better of me. "Sunny!" I shot back with an evil look.

Kyle got in my face. "You touch her, and I'll kill you!"

I didn't back down. "Are you threatening me?"

Ian and Burns got between us. It was Burns who restored order.

"Kyle, don't ruin a possible reunion with Sunny by getting into a fight with Nate. Besides, he's got a girlfriend and no matter what Sunny says, she's here for you."

Rachel continued to cut my hair and she leaned in close. I wasn't sure if it was to protect me from Kyle on the assumption that he'd never hit a girl—_yeah, he only almost killed Wanda—_or of she was openly flirting with me by shoving those beautiful breasts up against my body in defiance.

"I'm almost done, stud."

"Why don't you get dressed?" Burns suggested to Kyle who was still clearly agitated. "That way, maybe you can just happen to be standing outside when Sunny shows up."

"Good idea." Kyle grabbed his stuff and headed for the bathroom.

"There. I'm all done," Rachel declared. She hugged me from behind. "You're still in my heart," she whispered. Then, she kissed my cheek.

"Thank you, Rachel, for the haircut and the sympathy."

I climbed out of the chair and gave her a proper hug. Ian turned to me. "You _are _still coming, right?"

"Yeah—sure." I didn't sound very convincing.

"Do you want to break her heart?"

"You mean the way she broke mine?" I shot back.

"She never meant to break your heart. You know that, right?"

Ian was right. I pursued her. She shouldn't have even given me the time of day, and in the end I suffered for it, but then again, so did she.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I'll be there. I just won't be in the front row."

"Thanks, man."

I left the building feeling pretty crappy. I got back to my room and found my black suit freshly pressed and laid out on the bed. My dress shoes were polished. There was a note on my pillow. It read:

_I thought you might need a little help. I know you are still mad at me, but I hope you'll save a dance for me. Love, Gina_

I drew in a deep sigh. I needed to put on a brave front and get through this day. I knew Victoria would be there for me. I needed to make her feel special today, of all days. I set my mind to putting Victoria first. I dressed quickly and tied my tie three times before I finally got it just right.

I arrived at the funhouse at ten minutes to two. The place was already packed with sharply dressed adults excited about the impending event. Kyle and the other groomsmen were outside waiting for their female counterparts. I stepped inside and saw Ian standing alone at the arbor looking anxious. His eyes met mine and he smiled nervously.

I scanned the room for Victoria. I was relieved to see she wasn't up front. I slipped in next to her and gave her a peck on the cheek. She was wearing a fitted dress that hugged her body in _all _the right places. It was sapphire blue and sequined. It fell just above the knee and she wore matching blue spike heels. How Wanda had managed to find such a hot get up for Victoria is beyond me. Blake was standing on her other side. I leaned in to Tori's ear. "You look stunning."

"Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself."

"Am I going to have competition today?"

Tori leaned back to me. "Absolutely. Maybe if you're worried about me, then you won't be so focused on her."

I leaned back. "I don't like this plan."

At that moment, Evan keyed up the music. Jeb had been standing by Maria talking to her, and now he headed for the arbor and stood with Ian. Tori reached out and took my hand in hers.

Everyone turned to face the door. It was another minute before Kyle and a very pregnant Melanie emerged in the doorway. I thought it quite ironic that Kyle, who wanted children so desperately, was walking with the only pregnant woman in both clans. Her face showed the added pounds from the pregnancy, but she was still radiant in her empire waisted dress. Sunny and Jared entered just as Kyle and Melanie parted ways at the arbor. These were the two people who were adamant about _not _wanting children, and yet they were both coupled with the partners who felt the opposite. I had to admit Jared looked pretty happy today. He had come a long way in his feelings of fatherhood since those early days of Mel's pregnancy. The next couple was Jamie and Lily. Jamie was only fifteen, but he displayed Lily on his arm like a true adult. I was proud of him. The last person to enter was Megan. She was the flower girl and the ring bearer all in one. Once Megan took her place among the other ladies, Evan changed the music to the traditional wedding march. I felt my stomach tighten up.

The door opened and Burns stepped inside with Wanda on his arm. She was beyond beautiful. She looked like an angel. If she had wings, she could fly to the heavens. She took each step slowly and deliberately until she reached the front of the room. Burns stepped up to the arbor with Wanda still clinging to his arm and stopped when she was standing next to Ian. The music ceased, and the room was dead silent. I wanted to run. _I can slip out quietly. No one will notice._ I took a step toward the aisle.

"Good afternoon." Jeb spoke loudly, so all could hear. It caused me to jump as if he said it to deliberately stop me. Victoria tightened her grip on my hand, pulling me back to my designated spot.

"Before I begin, I would like to thank all of you who have traveled to be here for this auspicious occasion." He nodded at Sunny in particular.

"As you know, we are gathered here today to witness the union of two people very much in love and very committed to each other. Ian Thomas O'Shea and Wanderer. This is the first such marriage that I know of since the takeover and most definitely the first marriage between a human…" He nodded at Ian, "and a soul," he announced as he nodded at Wanda. "Proving that two worlds can come together in trust and love." I was caught up in his words. "Who gives the bride away to this man?"

Burns stepped forward. "I do, Burns living Flowers."

Burns took Wanda's arm and offered it to Ian, who of course, took it willingly. Then Burns stepped back and sat in the front row. Jeb spoke again. "Now, before I continue on, I am told that the bride and groom each have something to say to each other. Who wants to speak first?"

Ian spoke up. "I do." Ian turned to Wanda and took both of her hands in his. Since the room was so quiet, it was easy to hear Ian as he spoke. "Hey Babydoll. I told you we'd make it here this time." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. "I didn't want to forget anything so I made notes….let me start by saying that you are more beautiful than I could have imagined. You take my breath away." That's exactly how I felt. Poor Tori had tried very hard to look her best and she was beautiful—but I was mesmerized by Wanda's countenance. Ian reached out and stroked her face. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought he was making sure she was real and not just a beautiful dream. He finally continued his speech. "When the takeover happened, I lost everything. I lost my parents, my lifestyle, and my future. I was angry. The only thing I had left in the world was my brother, Kyle. If someone had told me then that the invasion would produce the love of my life, and that she would be from another planet, I would have told them they were insane." Ian reached down and took her hands again. "And yet here you are—the most loving creature I've ever known. You've healed me, Wanderer. You gave me back my parents. My life has meaning again. As for my future, _you_ are my future. I guess I am still in shock that you chose me. I have some pretty stiff competition." He looked up at me and smiled; then he turned his attention back to his bride. "Wanderer, I love you more than life itself, and I don't want to live without you." He turned to everyone gathered in the hall. "I want all of you to know that if this beautiful body that hosts this lovely soul should fail before my own, I want to offer my body as her host." I was shocked. I had never thought of that. She was after all a parasite and could live on forever as long as she had a viable host_. Why not let her share my body?_ What a fool I had been. He turned back to Wanda. "Wanderer, my beautiful loving soul, I willingly give myself to you. I love you."

Wanda was turned slightly away from me, so I couldn't see the expression on her face. Melanie stepped up with a tissue and handed it to Wanda.

Jeb spoke. "Wanderer, do you have something you want to say to Ian?"

She let out a little laugh. "Yes," she croaked. She put one finger up indicating she needed a moment to compose herself. "Ian." She spoke very softly. She grabbed Ian's hand and kissed it and rubbed it against her cheek before she finally took a deep breath and began.

"I haven't been here very long. When I first arrived at the caverns, my main goal was to stay alive. I was in love, even though I had no right to be, because the man I loved belonged to someone else." She deliberately raised her head and looked at Jared. "Someone else's memories. That's all I had. It was you who showed me how to love. I have a quote I want to read." She turned to Sunny who was holding the bridal bouquet. She reached into the flowers and pulled out a small rolled up piece of paper. "You were right. I _did_ need my bouquet." Ian let out a nervous laugh and wiped his forehead. She unrolled the paper and held it up, so she could read it. "Ian, this is your quote. You once said to me, 'there are different kinds of love. The kind of love I have for you is all encompassing. You are the one I want to wake up with every morning. You are the one I want to bear my children. You are the one who drives me crazy sexually.'" Everyone laughed. I wanted to cry. That's the way I wanted her to feel about me. "You are the one I want to share every important moment in my life with and most important; you are the one I can't live without."

"How did you remember all that?" Ian asked, obviously touched by the words.

"I always remember the things you say, but I wrote this down because I never want to forget." She paused to look out at all of us. Victoria was crying. I was numb. She turned to back to Ian. "These words are perfect, and I hope to live my life by them. I love you, Ian."

They lunged forward and embraced each other.

"Now wait! We're not done yet!" Jeb announced, as he pulled them apart. "You two will be the death of me, I swear." The crowd laughed. "Okay, now Ian, I need you to repeat after me." He paused. "I, Ian Thomas O'Shea, take you Wanderer to be my wedded wife." Ian repeated it loud and clear.

"To have and to hold, from this day forward" Ian again repeated Jeb's words.

"For better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health."

"To love and to cherish till death does part us."

At that point, I couldn't breath. I had to get out of there. I broke free from Victoria's grasp and headed for the back door. I moved swiftly and quietly. I was grateful that the door had been left ajar, and Wanda's back was to the door. There was a good chance she wouldn't see me leave. I slipped out into the cold gray day and closed the door gently. I bent over and sucked in a deep breath. I felt lightheaded and nauseas. I always had it in my head that the wedding would never take place, and I would always have a shot at Wanda.

The crowd started clapping and cheering. I let out a guttural cry of lament. She was his now. My stomach tightened, and I knew I needed to get to a bathroom. I ducked into the bunkhouse to empty my bowels. I thought I'd feel better, but I didn't. I just felt alone. I washed my face with cold water and pulled myself together.

I returned to the reception hall. The bridal party was gone. Kim alerted me that pictures were being taken back at the house, and Victoria was one of the photographers.

I stayed close to Kim and sucked down a Vodka Collins. Evan and Rob entered with steaming hot trays of food and headed back out for more. I wanted to help, but I was still an emotional mess.

Two more trays arrived, and then Victoria entered. I made a beeline for her as soon as I saw her.

"You bailed," she said curtly.

"I'm sorry."

"Me, too. I thought you could hold it together. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to celebrate Ian and Wanda's happiness. You'll have to wallow alone."

She turned and walked to where the drinks were being served. The bridal party reentered the reception. Jeb immediately approached Wanda and Ian and ushered them to the tables with the food. The bride and groom headed up the line followed by the bridal party. The rest of the guests fell into line, and everyone was seated and eating pretty quickly. I was already nursing my second drink in an effort to give me some courage to approach the bride and groom and offer them congratulations. I wanted to make up with Victoria, but she was sitting with her brother Danny and with Rob, Rachel, and Blake. Danny sat between Victoria and Blake. I thought this was odd. I wondered if Victoria requested that Danny sit next to her. It gave me hope. For now, I decided to stick with my family for a bit. I wasn't really hungry even though the food looked fabulous.

I was doing okay until someone started clinking a glass, and soon everyone was doing it. Ian grabbed Wanda's face and let loose with a long, drawn out kiss. I couldn't even look at them. I scanned the room instead. Kyle and Sunny were sitting next to each other and appeared to be having a conversation. At least he was going to end up with the girl of his dreams.

I caught Maria in my gaze. She was sitting with Jeb and Ian's parents along with Max and Miranda. She raised her glass to me and smiled. A short time later, another glass clinking session began, and I had to endure another liplock.

I was about to lose it. I walked over to where Jeb and Maria were sitting. "We need to get things rolling. I'll key up the music. You play announcer."

Jeb excused himself and returned to the arbor which was the focal point of the room. "I guess it's time to get this party into high gear," he announced. "Let's start with the first dance. Let me present to you— Mr. and Mrs. Ian O'Shea."

Ian and I had discussed on previous days at the worksite his plans for the wedding and the honeymoon. He gave me a playlist of songs he wanted me to play including the first dance. The first song was 'Truly' by Lionel Ritchie. As the music began, Ian led his bride slowly around the dance floor with ease.

The next song was for all of the bridal party to dance to. I was sifting through the CD's searching for the song Ian had chosen when Wanda came toward me in a hurry.

"Nate, I need you to do me a favor," she blurted out.

"Well, hello to you, too."

"I'm sorry. I'm just trying to get Kyle and Sunny back together."

"I understand. What song did you want me to play?"

"It's on the same CD. The song is called 'Hello.'"

"Sure, no problem."

"Thank you." She turned to walk away.

"Wanda?"

She turned back toward me. "Yes?"

"Congratulations."

She gave me a genuine smile. "Thanks." She rushed over to where Kyle and Sunny were standing on the side of the dance floor, and she literally pushed them together. Kyle and Sunny reluctantly joined the other three couples in the wedding party. They danced together, but I couldn't be sure if they were making amends. The next song was for the groom and his mother and the bride and her father, who in this case, was Wanda's adopted brother, Burns. Burns danced better than I thought he would.

Jamie came over to me and offered to take over the DJ position.

"I think Tori is mad at you," he said flatly.

"I know."

"Well, I know I'm not as worldly as you are, but I think if you care about her, you should do something about it before she decides to go home."

"Thanks, kid."

Victoria was sitting with Holly. I started toward her, and Gina intercepted me.

"Hi! You want to dance with me?"

"Um…" I was looking over at Victoria who wasn't paying any mind as to where I was. "Sure."

A slow song came on. Gina had wanted to learn to dance before the wedding. She and Evan had learned the basics—that was about it. I took her into my arms and guided her slowly around the dance floor.

"Thank you for pressing my suit and polishing my shoes."

"You're welcome."

We danced in silence. I noticed Evan was watching us.

"You fiancé is keeping a close eye on you. Don't tell me he's still afraid I am going to take you from him."

"He's not my fiancé."

"Oh? He told me he asked you to marry him."

"He did, but it's not official."

"Huh."

"What do you mean, huh?"

"It seems to me a deal was struck that you can't honor—unless you've lied to me all this time."

"I've never lied to you."

"Then how do you expect to give him children?"

She drew her lips into a tight line.

"That's what I thought. I've always respected you, Gina. I never pegged you for a liar." I broke away from her and walked away.

"Nate!" she called out.

Victoria spun around in her seat and watched me as I came off the floor. I headed for the door.

"Nathan!" I head Victoria call out.

I stopped dead in my tracks. I turned, and she was standing now, but she didn't budge. I took that as a sign that she wanted me to go to her. The last thing I wanted to do right now was piss off the one person whom I could depend on. I forced a smile and walked casually up to her.

I decided to put the distance between us on her. "I was wondering when you might give me a little attention," I said cheerfully.

"What was that all about?"

"What was what all about?"

"Gina?"

"She and I are in disagreement about where she is taking her life."

"She's taking it in the direction of Evan. Why is that a problem? Do you still want her?"

"No. Not the way I want you, but there are things about her that you don't know, and I'm not privy to tell. I just feel if she is going to devote her life to Evan, he deserves to know the truth about her."

She grimaced. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Do you want to dance?"

"You're not going to dump me for her, are you?"

"No, Xena. I love you."

I took Victoria by the hand and led her to the dance floor. It was a slow song. I took her into my arms and pulled her close. I noticed Wanda leaving the building with Ian following behind her. During the dance, Victoria let her fingers roam through my hair and she caressed my scalp. Her eyes met mine, and I kissed her. It was a nice kiss.

"Do you feel better, now?"

"I do. What about you?" she asked.

"I haven't really had a chance to talk to Wanda at all."

"So, is your plan to ignore her for the rest of her life?"

I chuckled nervously. "It seems to be working so far."

"You're so stupid."

"You've haven't said that to me in a while."

"I've been trying to boost your ego."

"You think my ego needs boosting?"

"I think you need a little bit of Tori loving for dessert," she teased.

I smiled. "That sounds delicious."

"You know what the best part is?"

"What?"

"You can eat all you want and you won't get fat."

"Why, Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Well, if you have to ask, then I must not be doing it right."

"If the fact that you are giving me a hard-on is any indication, then I'd say you are doing it right."

"Good. I think I'll go talk to Blake, now." Tori pushed away from me and left me standing on the dance floor completely frazzled. I watched her walk over to a group that included Blake and join in the conversation. _Son of a bitch. She's good._

I walked over to the bar and got myself a drink. I found myself fixated on her. I was watching her every movement. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was deliberately doing little things too entice me—like licking her lips and smoothing her body-hugging dress over her ass. She was fucking sexy as hell.

I hadn't seen Wanda and Ian return to the reception. Wanda sashayed up to me in her antique white, beaded wedding dress.

"Hey. Are you avoiding me?" she asked.

"Ah, the beautiful Mrs. O'Shea. I would never avoid you, but I thought you would be just a little busy with your new husband."

"He'll have me all night. I want to dance with you," she said warmly.

"I would be honored."

There was a fast song playing. I took her hands in mine and led her to the dance floor. I knew that she could dance, so I didn't hold back. I whirled her around the room directing her into fast, tight turns as I lifted her arms above her head. I smiled as I watched her try very hard to keep up. The music ended and the next song began. It was a pretty song, and I immediately realized that it was the first song that we had ever danced to. It was the song from the root cellar, the one we nearly kissed to for the first time. I held her close. "You picked this song, didn't you?"

"I did," she said sweetly, as she stared lovingly into my eyes.

All the emotions that I had tried so hard to keep at bay came crashing down. "You are not playing fair."

"I'm sorry. I thought you would like this song."

I didn't answer. I pressed my cheek to hers and we danced. I knew I had to say something. I whispered in her ear. "As long as you're happy."

I felt broken and my body hitched. She pulled back to look at me. The tears slid down my cheeks.

As she looked at me her own tears formed. Wanda wrapped her arms around me and held me tightly. "I'm sorry I hurt you," she whispered.

"The pleasure and the pain go hand in hand. I'm happy to know that you care about me."

"I'll always care about you. I'll always love you. That has never changed. Ian knows that. Why do you think he is watching us like a hawk right now?"

I smiled weakly. "I guess he and I will always be jealous of each other."

The music stopped. "I promise I will always be there if you need me."

"Hmmm. I need you tonight." I said it as a joke, but the pain and tears on my face said otherwise. She carefully wiped the tears from my face.

At that moment Ian came up to claim his property. He wasn't smiling. "Do you mind if I take my wife back?"

"And if I said yes?" I joked.

Perhaps it was the alcohol, but Ian wasn't joking. "Don't push me, Nate. I've been more than fair."

"You have. I'm sorry. I had no intentions of overstepping my boundaries." I backed away and allowed Ian to stake his claim. I, in turn, fled the building. It was a bitter pill to swallow. I stepped outside and was greeted by non other than Victoria. She pulled me into her arms, and I started to sob.

"It's okay," she said softly.

The truth was Victoria was a very calming influence, and I was grateful to have such a wonderful, caring woman to be there for me. After a few minutes, I pulled myself together.

"I'm sorry."

"I was waiting for the crash. Are you going to be okay?"

"I don't know. Are you still going to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?"

"That depends. Are you _up_ for it?" She reached down and grabbed my package.

I cracked a smile. "Not at the moment, but if you keep teasing me from across the room, I'm sure I will be."

"Oh, you saw that, huh?" she quipped.

"I was hoping that was for my benefit."

"You're so stupid."

I grinned from ear to ear. "And you love stupid, right?"

I placed my hand on her shoulders and let them slowly slide down her body until I got to her ass. Then I pulled her to my body.

She stiffened. "Who am I?" she asked.

"You are my warrior princess, and I love you." I leaned in and kissed her hard. I felt her body shudder. "I'm okay but you're freezing. Let's go back inside."

"Are you sure?"

"As long as you're with me, I'm sure."

Tori and I reentered the party. "Grab your camera. I need to move things along, okay?"

"Sure."

I headed over to the Deejay and asked him for the microphone. As soon as the song ended I spoke. "I need the bride and groom up here to cut the cake. While we have our dessert, the best man and maid of honor will be asked to give their toast."

Victoria came up with her camera, and so did Burns. I positioned Ian and Wanda, so that she was standing in front of Ian, and he had his arm draped around her waist. I handed Wanda the knife. Ian put his hand over hers and together they cut the cake. Victoria and Burns took a barrage of pictures. The cake was cut, and I placed the first piece on a plate. "Who wants to feed who first?" I asked.

Ian jumped at the plate. "I'll feed her first."

"Ian, don't you mess up this dress!"

"Now, would I do that?" he teased.

"I'm not playing. We are not in the garden."

He grinned. "Now that was fun."

Wanda turned to me. "Please get something to put over my gown," she pleaded.

"Don't be a baby, I won't mess you up," Ian assured her. He came forward with the piece of cake. "Open up, my love."

As Wanda reluctantly opened her mouth, Ian gently placed the cake between her lips. She cupped her hand under her chin to catch the fallout. There was residual frosting on her lips. "Let me get that." Ian leaned forward and licked the frosting from her lips and then kissed her. The crowd giggled. "There, see? No mess, no fuss."

Wanda reciprocated and again used her free hand to catch anything that didn't make it into his mouth. Ian grabbed her hand, put each of her fingers in his mouth, and sucked the frosting off each one.

"Ah, sweetness," he trilled.

I stepped up to the happy couple. "If you could take your place at head of the table, Kyle is ready to give his toast."

As Ian and Wanda moved away from the table, Kim stepped up and began cutting the cake. I, in turn, began serving it to the guests. Kyle stood with his glass in hand.

"Hello, everyone. I think you all know that Ian is my brother, and I am very happy to be here to celebrate his marriage to this lovely lady. I liken these two to cake and ice cream. Wanderer, you are like cake because you have more than one layer and you are just oozing sweetness and love for everyone you come in contact with. Ian, you are like ice cream. Even though you are sweet; you are also cold in a lot of ways. Wanderer was the one person who warmed you up and what happened? You melted. Look at you. You are warm, sweet, mush!" Everyone laughed. "Each of you do well on your own, but together, you compliment each other like cake and ice cream. I love you both and wish you a long and happy life together."

Everyone clinked their glasses together and drank.

Next Melanie got up. "Hello everyone, I am Melanie and in case you don't know, I've known Wanderer pretty much since the day she got here because I was her first host body on this planet. I have literally shared her thoughts and her feelings, and I can honestly say that I remember the first time she had true feelings for Ian. She held back because of me. It's funny when I think about it because once she got her new body, he held back because of her. Well I guess there's no holding back now. You two are the most passionate people I know, whether you are loving each other or fighting with each other. I hope your love grows as each of you has in the last year and that you make some pretty babies that this baby can grow up with. I love you both like a sister and a brother. Congratulations."

Again everyone raised their glasses and drank. Then someone started clinking their glass requiring Ian and Wanda to kiss again. I tried to ignore the public display of affection. Instead I looked over at Victoria, and she placed her finger on her lower lip and caressed it. Then she stuck out her tongue and seductively ran the tip of her tongue along her bottom lip to her upper lip and back down. She stared at me when she did it, leaving no chance that it was meant for Blake or anyone else, for that matter. I smiled and winked at her.

I moved to the front of the table and spoke. "Now we come to _my _favorite part of this party. The groom has to take off the garter belt, so he can throw it to some lucky guy."

Wanda rose and stepped to the front of the table. A chair had been placed in plain view of the crowd for her to sit in. Ian got to his knees and joked, "I'll see you later." He promptly disappeared under her dress. Wanda looked terribly uncomfortable. She was blushing. Finally, Ian came out from under the dress. "Oh, yeah!" He lifted her dress slowly revealing her leg with a lace top thigh high stocking. Even I couldn't resist drooling over that leg. I was glad that Victoria was on the other side of the room, or she may have bopped me in the balls.

Ian didn't use his hands. He went in with his teeth, gripped the lace on the garter belt, and slid it down to her knee. I could feel my dick responding to the show. I was afraid to look at Victoria. Afraid I'd see her leave. I just stared at her leg as if I was mesmerized. I did manage to make eye contact with Wanda, but even then I couldn't look away. Once the garter belt was to the knee, Ian used his hands to slide it the rest of the way off. Then he kissed her thigh just above the knee and lowered her dress. The guys yelled "More. More!" Ian beamed the most satisfying smile. He leaned to her ear and whispered something to her before he helped her from the chair.

Kim handed the bouquet to Wanda. There were quite a few ladies lined up to catch the bouquet. There was the pregnant Melanie, as well as Lily, Victoria, Megan, Sunny, Sharon, Candy, Heidi, Rachel, Holly, Gina, and Sarah. Wanda closed her eyes and heaved it over her head. Ironically, it landed in Sunny's hands. There were a lot of frustrated faces in the crowd including Victoria's.

Now it was Ian's turn to throw the garter belt. The suitors were Burns, Kyle, Jared, Jamie, Blake, Doc, Jeb, Evan, Rob, Aaron, Ice, and myself. Everyone was jockeying for position. The funny thing is the ladies want to catch the bouquet because they wanted to be the next to be married and lord knows superstition goes a long way. The men just want to be able to reach up a woman's dress. What can I say? We are all pigs.

Ian shot it like a sling shot. There was a mad shuffle. In the end, it was I, who came up with the garter belt. Sunny sat in the chair and hiked up her gown revealing her leg. I got to my knee and looked up and down her gorgeous gam. I took a deep breath. Considering Victoria was probably already pissed off at me for leering at Wanda's perfect legs, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to show Kyle that I wasn't out to get his woman. I stood up and turned to the crowd. "I'm probably going to hate myself in the morning. Unfortunately, the woman I wanted to marry is already married. So in the interest of self preservation, I would like to pass this to Kyle." I walked to Kyle and handed him the garter. "Go get her and don't let go," I muttered, as I ushered Kyle to Sunny.

Kyle looked stunned at the sacrifice. He bent down on one knee and slipped the garter slowly over her shoe, and then he continued up her leg and over her knee. He didn't stop, but he slowed. He kept going to see where Sunny would stop him. She wasn't wearing stockings, so he was moving up her bare leg with his hands under the garter feeling her skin the whole way. He was watching her face searching for the signal to stop. She didn't stop him. He was just about out of leg when he stopped and slowly slid his hands back down her leg. She was biting her lower lip. I think the whole crowd was aroused. I know I was.

The music started again, and it was a slow song. All of the couples made a bee line for the dance floor. I moved swiftly to Victoria. I grabbed her hand before she could object and led her to the dance floor. She was still perturbed, but I didn't let that stop me.

"Don't be angry at me."

"You said the woman you wanted to marry is already married? How could you say that?"

"I had to say something in order to give away the garter." She obviously wasn't satisfied with my answer. "Listen, love, we've already talked about this and we both agreed that we are not in a place to talk about marriage."

"Are we ever going to be in that place, or should I just move on to Blake?"

At this point, I was frustrated. The song ended, and Victoria and I were just standing in the middle of the dance floor. "If Blake is what you want…"

Ian appeared from out of nowhere. "Victoria, may I have the next dance?" he asked politely.

Victoria nodded. Ian took her in his arms. I figured it was my shot of getting in another dance with Wanda. She looked like she was expecting me as I walked up to her.

I held out my hand. "Shall we?"

"But of course, monsieur."

She placed her hand in mine, and we danced. Oddly enough, I was still thinking about Victoria.

"You know what you did tonight for Kyle was very commendable."

"I just hope Kyle is able to seal the deal with Sunny," I replied.

"Won't that be difficult if Kyle is sleeping in the bunkhouse?"

I knew of Ian's plan to take Wanda to their new home which meant their room at the house would be empty. "I'm pretty sure we can work something out for them to spend the night alone."

"Where?"

"It's not important now. Ian will let you know later. You need to only concentrate on your time with your husband."

"Thank you, Nate. By the way, you look like you belong in that suit."

"Well, don't be mad, but as absolutely stunning as you are in that dress, I wish I was the one to help you out of it."

She blushed, and her cheeks looked like pink roses.

"So, I guess I won't see you for awhile," I said solemnly.

"Why not?"

"Trust me."

"I've always trusted you."

"Then it's a good thing I'm such a gentleman." I whisked her around the dance floor, and when the song ended, we approached Ian and Victoria.

"Victoria, would you wait for me, please?" I requested. I wasn't sure that she would, but I had hope. "Ian, I need to speak to you for a minute."

Ian and I walked away from the ladies. I needed to firm up the plans for the next few days.

"So you want me to bring you breakfast in the morning, right?"

"Uh huh, if it's not too much trouble."

"What time?"

"Not too early. I'll be sleeping in." Ian nudged me with his elbow. "If you know what I mean."

"I'm hoping to sleep in myself."

Ian looked over at Tori, who to my surprise, was waiting. "That's what I'm talking about. I owe you, man."

We returned to the ladies, and I addressed Victoria. "Would you mind if I walked you back to the cave tonight?"

"No, I would enjoy that." She smiled at me, and I was relieved as I retrieved her coat. I returned to where Victoria was standing and helped her on with her coat. I rushed back to the coat rack and pulled my coat from the hook and a pair of sneakers fell to the floor. They were Wanda's. Ian must have stashed them there for the long walk to the house. I picked them up and carried them to Ian who was on his knees removing Wanda's very expensive shoes. Wanda had an eye for fashion, and I noticed in the past months that she was becoming quite the fashion diva. I said my good-byes and joined Tori at the door.

We were greeted by a blast of frigid air as we stepped outside.

"It feels like snow," I commented.

"It's supposed to snow tonight. It was on last night's news."

"Did they say how much?"

"A couple of inches, I don't really remember."

"I hope Ian and Wanda will be all right."

"Still worried about her?"

"I don't want them to freeze."

"They won't. I'm pretty sure Ian is smart enough to take them up to the house if it got too cold. Besides, I thought the two of you chopped up a bunch of firewood."

"We did."

"I've been through plenty of snowstorms and survived without the luxury of heat—and I did it alone."

"Well, you will never have to endure a cold winter alone as long as you are here." We walked along in silence for a bit.

"I hate snow."

"Why?"

"You can't cover your tracks."

I didn't answer. We entered the cave and walked to my room. She stopped at the front door. I opened it and held it for her to enter, She didn't budge.

"Well, are you coming in?"

"I don't think I should."

I creased my forehead in surprise at her response. "Why not?"

She sighed deeply. "As much as I want you to make love to me, I'm afraid I'll just be a substitute for Wanda."

"Victoria, if I make love to you tonight, it will be because I want _you._"

She just stood there, frozen.

"Tell you what. We don't have to make love. We can just snuggle. I won't even touch you below the waist."

She still didn't move. I was quickly losing my patience.

"Forget it. I'll be all right. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

Inside my head, I was cursing. She looked so damned hot in that dress. I wanted to fuck her while she was still in it. "Yeah, sure. I'll talk to you in the morning?"

"Uh huh."

I was going to lean forward and kiss her, but I decided against it. It would only serve to make me even more frustrated. "Good night."

"Good night." She backed up and hurried down the hall.


	63. Chapter 63

**So here is my take on depression. Yeah, it sucks that you cry all the time and your brain is stuck on the one thing that's got you depressed in the first place. The great thing about tears is everybody hugs you. You go to work and they see that happy full of vim and vigor girl is all of a sudden sullen and melancholy. Your workmates notice immediately and ask if you are all right. That triggers the tears you've been trying to hold back because you are NOT all right and BAM! You get a hug—from everyone.**

**You don't want to eat, so you lose weight at an alarming rate. That's good, right? Then you really just want to go home and sleep because you have no energy, but I say, hell, I'm already losing weight. I might as well go to Jazzercise and work my ass off and see if I can possibly stroke out. What's the worst that can happen? I'll die? At least the pain in my heart will stop and I'll look great in the coffin.**

**Oh yeah, and it'll only take three guys to carry the coffin instead of five….**

**Depression….awesome.**

VICTORIA'S STORY

Still 12/13/2002 – Will this day ever end? I am so frustrated right now. Not only did I have to endure seeing my beautiful porcelain doll profess her love and devotion to the man who tried to kill her twice, but my one saving grace was the fact that I was counting on Victoria to be here to heal my wounded ego. Victoria looked more beautiful than I had ever seen her, and I was looking forward to peeling her out of her sequined sheath. Only she bailed on me. She's afraid that I'll be using her as a substitute for the woman who now goes by the name Mrs. O'Shea. I've never sugarcoated the fact that I love Wanda.

A knock on my door pulled me from my diary. Tori went to bed, so I immediately thought it must be Gina come to try and explain her lies. I was still dressed although my shirt was out and unbuttoned. I swung my door open prepared for an argument. I was surprised to see Victoria standing there still dressed in her luscious blue sparkler.

"Victoria…" I didn't know what else to say.

"Hey," she replied. "Is your offer still good?"

"Only if you want to be here," I pushed the door open, so she could enter.

"What happened? Did Blake turn you down?" It was a cruel thing to say, but I had already been rejected once.

She was cool as a cucumber. "Do you really think Blake would turn _this _down?"

"I don't know. He's not too bright, you know."

"I'm sorry, Nate." Her lower lip began to quiver. "I was jealous of her."

I pulled Tori into my arms. "I love you." I looked upward into her eyes. "You are so freakin' tall in those shoes."

"Do you want me to take them off?"

"I prefer you keep them on and just lie down."

"Why, Mr. Downey, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Right now, I'm just trying to kiss you."

"You're so stupid," she replied with a sly grin.

I backed her up to the bed and pushed her down gently as I crawled over her. "I'd rather be lucky." I leaned in and kissed her. My free hand traveled over her dress. I pulled on the fabric exposing her thigh. She stopped me.

"I thought you weren't going to touch me below the waist?"

"That deal went south when you left. Let me just say you are going to be mighty sore by morning."

"Is that a promise?"

"I've got a whole box of condoms." With that, I kissed her neck and then moved to her cleavage. I was becoming aroused very quickly.

"Nate, stop," she said firmly.

I dropped my head to her breast. "What now?"

"I don't want to ruin the dress."

"When do you plan to wear it again?"

"To the next wedding."

"Who's wedding?"

"I don't know—Rachel and Rob or maybe Gina and Evan," she stated as a matter of fact.

I rolled off of her onto my back. The last thing I wanted to hear was the prospect of Gina marrying Evan. As much as I hated to admit it, I still loved her, and the thought of losing her cut through me like a knife.

Victoria rolled into a sitting position.

"You still love her, don't you?"

I played stupid. "Who?"

She stood up. "Don't you 'who' me. You know who I'm talking about."

_Time to bullshit your way out of this one._

"Look, I do love Gina, but I'm _in_ love with you. I just don't want Gina to marry him under the present circumstances because I know they'll both end up getting hurt."

"Why? Why will they get hurt?" she demanded.

"Gina, you know I can't tell you that."

"My _name _is Victoria!" she bellowed.

"Jesus! I _know_ what your name is! Why can't you just shut up and let me make love to you!" As soon as I said it, I knew I was screwed.

"Shut up?" she screeched.

I tried to back paddle. "I didn't mean it!"

"You know what? Go fuck yourself, Nathan!"

I sat there stunned as Victoria backed out of my arms and stormed out of my room for the second time tonight.

"Fuck!" I yelled out.

Maybe I was a glutton for punishment, but I was not about to let her storm out of my life. I followed her back to her room.

"Victoria!" I called out.

"Go away, Nathan!"

When she got to her room, I stopped at the doorway.

"Invite me in," I ordered.

"No!"

"Come on, Tori."

"No!" she repeated in a higher octave.

"Fine! I'll just sit here in the hallway."

"Nate, go back to your room. I don't want you watching me get undressed."

"So turn out the light."

"Nate!" she whined.

"I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to be without you."

"You don't have a choice. This is my decision."

I couldn't help myself. I crossed the threshold and entered her room. "You really don't want me?" I could feel my eyes sting.

"I don't want to be in third place," she lamented.

"You're not!"

"I wish I could believe that."

It was at this point that I acted out of desperation. My pecker took over my brain. "Do you want to get hitched?"

"Hitched?"

"You know married, holy matrimony?"

"Are you going to tell me that you would ask me to marry you just you can get laid tonight?"

"No, I'm asking you to marry me, so I can get laid most nights."

"You are the stupidest man I know."

"The offer's on the table. Take it or leave it."

"How about if I just leave it on the table for consideration later…much later."

I nuzzled up to her. "Does that mean you'll come back to my room and take off that dress?"

"I don't know. What's my name?"

I kissed her gently on the lips. "Xena." I kissed her again. Then I placed both hands on her ass and I kissed her again. This time I slipped my tongue into her mouth, and she raked her fingers through my hair and held the back of my head. She kissed me with a vengeance. She caressed my lips with hers, and she tasted sweeter than the wedding cake. My head started to swim. When she finally released my head and pulled away I felt a little stupid. _Third times a charm, _I thought to myself.

"Whew! You took my breath away."

She stepped back and reached behind her back. I could hear the zipper slowly slide down her spine. She pulled the dress from her shoulders and carefully wiggled her way out of it like a snake shedding its shimmery blue skin. It seemed obvious to me that we weren't going to make it to my room.

She was wearing a black silk bra and matching panties that contrasted sharply against her smooth milky skin. My dick saluted her.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" she asked.

She brought me out of my trance.

"Right." I stepped forward to embrace her.

She grabbed my shirt and peeled it off of my shoulders. I slipped my arms around her and began to kiss her. I let my hand travel to her breasts and I caressed her through the bra. I could feel her nipple harden beneath its silky sheath. I curled my finger pulling the cup back exposing her nipple. I bit her lower lip playfully and moved down her neck to the prize I had revealed. As I licked it, I let my other hand glide down the length of her torso, and she jumped when I hit the sensitive spot just inside of her hip.

"Sorry," I muttered, as I continued to give her luscious breast attention.

"Keep going," she said softly.

I couldn't help but smile. I placed my hand back on her hip and slid it toward her ass. I ran the palm of my hand along the curve of her buttocks and continued to her thigh. That is when I glided slowly to her inner thigh. She took a step and slightly opened her legs. I felt the silkiness of her panties as they protected the warm wet surprise underneath. Tori let out a little moan as I raked my nails across her crotch.

"You like that?' I whispered. Before she could answer my lips found hers again, and my hand found the top of her panties. In a flash, I was inside them and on my way into her pussy. I parted the soft lips and brushed a single finger across her clit.

Another moan rose from her throat. I could feel her knees weaken. I took the opportunity to curl that same finger into the warm wet hole. She stopped kissing me and took a deep breath coupled with another moan.

"This is because I am so hungry for you." I lowered myself to my knees and slipped her panties down her long legs until she stepped out of them. I gently parted her legs and kissed her thighs. She placed her hands on my head for leverage. I parted the lips of her pussy exposing her warm folds. I stuck out my tongue and used the tip to lick her. She began to hum with delight. Without warning I pushed my finger inside her. She sucked in her breath and then continued to croon as I diligently worked her to my advantage. After a good ten minutes she let out a long low moan and her legs weakened. I caught her and slid her limp body to the mattress. I stripped out of my pants and boxers as quickly as I could and then I crawled over her.

I kissed her cleavage and her neck. My lips brushed across hers and she opened her mouth to receive my tongue. "Do you love me?"

"Nate, you're so stupid!"

"Humor me."

"Do you love _me_?" she countered.

"I _did_ ask you to marry me."

"For sexual favors," she reminded me.

"Yes, I love you."

"Good." She lifted her head to kiss me.

"You never answered the question," I pressed.

"Jesus, can't you just shut up and fuck me?"

_Gee, that phrase came back to bite me in the ass._

I cracked a smile. "Touché, my love."

And so I did. I spent my night with the one woman who it seemed for now wanted only me. As we lay in each other's arms in the wee hours of the morning both satiated and exhausted, I thought about my impromptu marriage proposal. I was both relieved and disappointed by her answer. She knew as well as I did, that I was certainly not ready for marriage, and yet the idea of leaving her free to choose Blake over me left me with a bit of anxiety. I pulled Tori close to my body. She kissed my chest and nestled into the crook of my shoulder and we fell asleep.

The alarm on my watch woke me. It was cold in this room; colder than my room which sat closer to ground level. I looked over at Victoria. She was backed into me and had the blankets pulled tight to her. If it wasn't for the fact that I had to piss like a racehorse, I could have easily slipped my dick inside of her.

"Babe," I said in a soft voice.

She didn't answer. I reached over and turned on the lamp.

I placed my hand gently on her down covered shoulder and shook her. "Victoria," I said a little louder.

"What do you want, Blake?"

I was aghast at her response, and I cringed away from her. She rolled to her back and started to laugh.

"That's not funny," I barked.

"No shit," she snapped back. "So I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't call me Gina."

"I didn't call you Gina while we were making love, did I?" I really didn't think that I had.

"No."

I breathed out a sigh of relief. "Listen, I have to bring the newlyweds their breakfast."

"Can't someone else do it?"

"Like who? If I have to get up to ask someone else, I might as well do it myself. I made a promise to Ian."

"Fine. I'll go with you."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Because…"

"Because I want to help my boyfriend."

"Good answer." I leaned and kissed her.

We dressed quickly, and I made a pit stop at the outhouse. We continued to trek toward the house. It was early and there were a few people in the kitchen eating breakfast, mostly the older set. Victoria and I made sausage and pancakes for ourselves and then we made more for the newlyweds. We packed it up in a thermal bag along with coffee and orange juice and we were on our way. It was extremely cold and smell of snow was in the air.

We found our way to the house in the woods, and I knocked on the door. A minute later Ian answered the door wearing only a pair of jeans and his hair was disheveled.

"Good morning! Did we wake you?" I asked. After all, it was nearly ten o'clock.

Ian scratched his head. "Yeah, be quiet. Wanda's still asleep. We had a late night," he declared.

"So did we," Tori chimed in with a smile.

Ian grinned. I guess my being with Victoria eased his conscience. Ian signaled for us to enter. Victoria had not been inside since we had completed the outer walls and installed the windows.

"Wow! Pretty drafty, don'tcha think?" Victoria pointed out.

Ian laughed. "I suppose it is, but it's warm and toasty in the bedroom."

"Well, you must be freezing out here without a shirt."

"Yeah, I'd invite you in, but Wanda is asleep, and she's not dressed."

My mind went to the naked sleeping Wanda on the other side of the bedroom door.

"Can I take the food from you?" Ian said, as he indicated that he wanted me to hand over the thermal bag.

I was snapped from my daydream.

"Oh, sure—right." I handed him the bag. "So, marriage is good?" I didn't know what else to say.

"Marriage is awesome," Ian trilled.

"Ah….good."

Then there was silence. "I guess we'll be going. Tell Wanda we said 'hi'."

"Will do," Ian replied. "What time will you be bringing lunch?"

"Two?"

"Perfect. I'll see you then."

Tori and I walked back to the house and sprawled out on the floor of the living room. A group of adults from the caverns had commandeered the T.V. and were watching an old comedy series. Our intent was to watch the show, but we both ended up falling asleep.

We woke just before noon when the teens entered the house demanding lunch. Tori announced that she going to do some laundry before the snow hit, which reminded me that I needed to put on the news to catch the weather report. There was very little crime to report, but the fact that there was any at all indicated that things were slowly changing with the souls. There was never any theft. Why would there be? Everything was free for the taking with the exception of one thing—love. Most crimes were crimes of passion fueled by jealousy. The weather announcer came on and the forecast predicted was for anywhere between six and twelve inches on the ground by morning.

Jeb was standing behind me. "This doesn't look good," he stated.

I spun around, and he was standing there with his arms folded tightly cross his chest.

"No, it doesn't. We don't generally allow anyone on the road in dangerous conditions. You're welcome to stay another couple of days."

Jeb stroked his beard. "I think the troops will probably enjoy this. They haven't seen snow in years."

I grinned. "Okay, let's spread the word."

Jeb spread the word among his clan, and I sat with Maria and gave her the low down on the extended stay.

At two o'clock, I packed up some sandwiches, chips, and beverages for Ian and Wanda and headed for the O'Shea domain. Ian again answered the door wearing the same jeans without a shirt. I could only assume he threw on the jeans when he heard the knock. He summoned me to follow him to the love chamber. Brynn was fully clothed and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Greetings, newlyweds! I brought you sustenance. I thought you might want to know that they are expecting a snow storm tonight—anywhere from six to twelve inches. Our guests have opted to stay another couple of days. Jeb felt that putting them on the road could be dangerous, and I agree."

"Well maybe we should go back to the house and stay in our room," Wanda suggested.

"Can't," I said abruptly.

She looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Why not?"

"Didn't Ian tell you?"

"It didn't really come up," Ian remarked.

"What are you two talking about?" she asked.

"Kyle and Sunny. They're in your room," I said as a matter of fact.

"Get out!" she replied with glee. "Ian, why didn't you tell me?"

"We didn't do a whole lot of talking last night," he said nonchalantly.

"Ignore him. He's exaggerating," Wanda replied.

Ian glared at her and stormed out of the room. I thought this odd behavior from a man who had just spent the night 'too busy to talk.'

"Well, I'll make sure you have dinner tonight. Tomorrow may depend on how bad the storm is. I'll see if whoever brings dinner makes sure there's extra beverages and food for the both of you."

"Thanks, Nate. By the way, I love the house. Thank you for all the work you put into it."

"Anything for you—as long as you're happy." I gazed at the door wondering where Ian had gone. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine."

"I'll see in what—two more days?"

She smiled at me. "Absolutely."

I took the opportunity to give her a sincere hug. I pulled back and looked into her gorgeous blue eyes. "Are you _sure_ everything is all right?"

"I'm positive," she assured me. She smiled again and patted my chest with both hands. "Really, we're great."

"Okay." I didn't press her any further. She walked me to the door, and I took my leave. I passed Ian who was still shirtless at the woodpile stacking wood for easy retrieval. "You need some help?" I offered.

"Nope," he replied without looking up.

I decided it was best not to push. Obviously, something was bothering him. "Okay, man. I'll see you later."

The rest of the evening was just another party. The adults were drinking the leftover booze from the wedding, and the kids were outside running around in the snow that was falling steadily. Victoria and I met up at the dinner hour and remained as a couple for the rest of the evening. I invited her to my bed, and she accepted. We were both playful. We ended up playing a little game that I thought up and together we made the rules. We each had to take a turn standing in the middle of the room naked for two minutes. The object of the game was to make the other person utter a sound or word. You could not inflict pain to accomplish this. If you lost, you had to down a beer. Neither of us were heavy drinkers.

I went first. I stood naked in the middle of the room. Tori's method was to get on her hands and knees and give me a blow job. I thought I could hold out for two minutes, but I had forgotten that Victoria knew my dick pretty well. She wasted no time sucking on the tip as she used her hand to pull the skin up and down my shaft. My dick reacted quickly, and I was sporting a raging hard-on in less than a minute. She only had a minute left, and I was confident that she would lose. I was determined to stay strong even though it felt so damned good. Then, she looked up at me and there was pure evil in her eyes. She opened her mouth wide and pressed his lips firmly around my hard-on and down the length of my dick she slid, ever so slowly. I felt the hair on my head stand up. I think the sound I made was involuntary. I let out a moan. She pulled off of my dick and ruined my ecstasy induced trance.

"Aha! You moaned!"

"And?" I said indignantly.

"And you have to drink a beer."

"Aren't you going to finish what you started?"

"Later. Drink." She got to her feet and handed me the beer.

I took it from her and glared at her as I raised the bottle to my lips. I took a long pull. "My turn," I growled.

"Nuh-uh! Not till you finish it!" She gently pushed my hand which held the bottle toward my face.

I guzzled the rest of the bottle. "Ah!" I said, as I plunked the bottle down on the dresser. I turned to her. "Assume the position."

"Gladly. You gonna get on your knees?" she crooned.

"Don't have to," I replied confidently.

She cocked her head and gave me a look.

"Are you ready?"

"Ready," she stated as she spread her legs in anticipation.

She assumed that I would try to excite her into moaning the same way she had done to me, but I had other plans. I knew Tori's Achilles' heel. I stood behind her and kissed her back. I rubbed her ass and slid my fingers between her crack and down to her pussy. I let my fingers linger for just a moment. Then I pulled my hands away and I reached around her and cupped her breasts in my hands. I teased her nipples with my thumbs. Then I figured it was time to go in for the kill. I raked my fingernails down the sides of her body and just inside of her hip bone. She tried to wiggle away from my touch.

"Uh-uh! You can't move," I reminded her.

"Why not?" she asked.

"You talked; you lose!"

"That's not fair! You talked first!"

"I can talk, you can't. Drink!" I twisted off the cap and handed her the bottle.

"Cheater," she hissed.

"Drink and then I'll do what you wanted me to do before."

It took Victoria longer to finish the bottle of beer than it did me.

"Standing or lying down?" I asked referring the position she wanted to be in while I ate out her pussy.

"Standing," she said emphatically. "I like it when my legs get weak."

I dropped to my knees and the sweet smell of her nectar filled my head. She always smelled like honeysuckle to me, and that just made her clit all the more enjoyable. The hotter she got, the more excited I got. After a few minutes, her juices covered my chin. I pushed my index finger gently into her beckoning vagina and her knees buckled. She bent from the waist and put her hands on my shoulders to steady herself. She ended up knocking me off balance interrupting my progress.

"You okay, Xena?"

"Yeah." She sounded almost breathless.

I went back to her muff. By now, she was so wet, it was trickling down my hand.

"I—I can't," she murmured. "I'm going to fall."

I stood up and scooped my long legged beauty into my arms and carried her to the bed. I parted her legs and resumed my labor of love. As I played, she squirmed and cooed her approval. Finally she stiffened and grabbed the pillow, pulling it over her face as she cried out. Her moans lasted nearly a minute until she abruptly yelled, "Stop!"

I came up smiling. Listening to her pleasure only made me hard again, and I was ready for business. Her pussy was ripe, and I was like a starving animal. I wiped her juices from my face with my forearm and grabbed the condom. I gave her a passionate kiss before I maneuvered my way into her. She was tight from having just come and I groaned with pleasure as I plunged my dick into her the second time.

"Nathan, you are the best fuck I've had in six years," she crooned.

I didn't respond. I merely smiled and continued to invade the tight walls of her vagina. I fucked her for a good long time. I could have easily come several times, but I wanted to make sure that I gave her everything I had. Finally, my strength betrayed me, and I could no longer hold the sperm at bay. The intense feeling of the orgasm left me weak. I collapsed on the bed next to her.

She leaned across my body and kissed my cheek. "Thank you," she said softly.

I got up and disposed of my condom while Victoria turned her body, so she was lying in the bed properly and pulled the covers over her. I joined her, and she snuggled into my chest. I reached to the nightstand and turned out the light. As we lay in the dark, I couldn't stop thinking about something that Tori had said. Finally, I decided that I needed an answer.

"Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever been in love before?"

She paused before I heard her voice in the blackness of the room. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, before you said I was the best fuck you've had in six years, which would indicate to me that six years ago you were fucking someone who was pretty special."

She drew in a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh. "Yes, I was in love once."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. It sorta took me by surprise.

It was quiet again. My mind began to turn this new bit of information over and over.

"You want to talk about it?" I asked in the hopes she would be receptive to my query.

"His name was Sam Eggleston." She spoke softly almost as if she wasn't allowed to say it.

"And?" I pressed, hoping for more.

"And he was married."

I reached over and turned on the light. "What?"

She took a deep breath. "I suck at math."

I creased my eyebrows at her because what she had just said made absolutely no sense.

"I was an art major in college. Even art majors need a math credit. I decided to get a tutor, so I wouldn't tank the class. Sam had a bunch of ads up on the bulletin board in the student commons. I took the ad and called him."

"So you had an affair with your tutor." I said it as a statement as it was an obvious conclusion.

"Not at first. In the beginning it was all business, but one day I came in bitching about my boyfriend, and he started to tell me about his marriage. He said that he loved his wife dearly, and that before his daughter was born, their marriage was fantastic. After the baby, she apparently suffered from post partum depression, and the marriage suffered. It got to the point where he felt like he was violating her if he touched her."

"So you gave him what he wasn't getting from her."

"Not right away. You see, he still loved his wife, and he adored his little girl. He and I became confidants. He talked about his marriage, and I talked about my boyfriend. Eventually we talked about everything—most of the time through e-mails and on the phone. One day, I told him that I loved him. It really took him by surprise. We hadn't even been intimate. I just…" Her voice cracked. "I felt so connected to him."

"It was near the end of the semester, and I was afraid he that he'd just stop calling but he didn't. It was Easter Sunday. He told me he loved me. After that he kept suggesting that we spend the night together. I knew it was impossible. I was living with my boyfriend, and he was married. A few weeks later, we had a lucky break. His wife and daughter went out of town to visit family. That's when the real affair started."

"So I guess he was good in the sack."

She bowed her head and a tear slid down her cheek. "He was perfect."

I reached out wiped the tear from her face. "So what happened?"

"His wife happened. We were communicating practically nonstop. She got suspicious and she got into his e-mail and read everything. She tore into him and read him the riot act. The funny thing is, the whole time he thought if anything, she'd be grateful that he wasn't pressuring her for sex."

"Wow."

"The last voice mail I got from him was "Just pulling in. I'll call you in the morning."

"You remember that?"

She looked at me and her eyes filled with tears. "It's burned into my memory."

"Princess, don't cry." I pulled her to my chest. She did her best to finish her story through the tears.

"A few hours later I got a call from him. I could hear his wife yelling in the background. He told me we had to stop all communication. Then she got on the phone and started screaming at me to keep my hands off of her husband and she called me white trash." Her body heaved as she cried.

I squeezed her and kissed her cheek. "I'm sure he didn't feel that way. I'm sure he was just trying not to piss her off even more."

"The thing is I wanted to defend myself. I wanted to call her a frigid bitch. I wanted to say, if I'm white trash, then what does that make Sam? But I couldn't. I just stood there with the phone to my ear saying "thank you very much." I took everything she said to me. I did it for him." At this point Tori broke down and sobbed.

"I'm sorry, Victoria. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."

"You didn't. I still think about him every day."

"So I guess he never called you."

"No, and I didn't dare call him. I left messages every single day on my profile page on a website that we both used in the hopes that he would see them and maybe eventually try to contact me using someone else's phone. Three weeks later, the takeover happened. I can only assume that he and his family were implanted with souls."

"You never know. He could have gone into hiding like you did. Maybe he's out there looking for you."

"I wish," Tori replied, as she wiped the tears from her face with a towel.

"Sam Eggleston, huh?"

"Yeah—Doc."

"Doc?"

"It was my nickname for him because he was going for his doctorate."

"Ah...So, I guess if Sam showed up right now, I'd be history."

She didn't answer me. She just buried her head in my chest and sobbed some more. I stroked her hair in an effort to console her.

I chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"I guess you're not the only one who's number two."

"You're number two. I'm still number three."

"Sweetheart, the point is we are still filling a void for each other."

"I still love you, Nathan."

"And I'll always love you." I reached over and turned out the light. In the darkness I felt for her chin and pulled it toward my face, so I could give her a kiss good night. "If he knew you the way I know you, I'm sure he loved you, too." 

**Sometimes you are moving through life at a comfortable pace and everything seems to be going just so….and then a tornado comes along and tears your whole life to pieces.**

**She wasn't looking for anything and then one day, there he was…charming, and worldly, knowledgeable, and in her eyes, hot as hell. He also possessed a sadness, and this is what really drew her in. He took her by surprise with his ease to open up, and she fell quickly, even though they were both in long term relationships. They tried to keep their relationship platonic, but the need for intimacy kept them coming back for more. A weird sort of relationship blossomed; they both seemed happy…then, disaster. He was gone. Did he die? Not in her heart. Never in her heart. She waits for his return. Hoping, praying, one day….he'll find his way back to her.**

12


	64. Chapter 64

**I know this has been a long time coming. I'm sorry, guys. Lots of craziness going on. FTLOB Book 2: The Moment of Truth is in its final stages of production which means me reading it again and again to fine tune the script. It seems the more I learn about commas, the more fine tuning the manuscript requires. Problem is I get into the story and forget to look for the grammatical errors. I don't know if that means it's a good thing because my book is good or a bad thing because my brain refuses to stay focused. Anyway, I love you all, and I appreciate your devotion to Nate's Diary. Do me a favor and drop me a line, so I know who's still with me. -NL**

SECOND BEST

12/15/2002 – So, last night I learned something about Tori that surprised me. It seems that I'm not number one in her heart. Here I was afraid of losing her to Blake. It's been six years since the invasion, and her heart was so severely broken just prior to the attack; she's never gotten over it. She carries the love she had for him much the same way that I carry my love for Wanda. I would be lying if I didn't admit to being a little jealous which is absolutely silly because the chances that she'll ever see him again are minute at best.

Anyway, it snowed last night. I'm not sure how much is out there, but the kids were already playing in the snow by ten o'clock last night. Wanda and Ian are holed up in their new home out past the baseball field. The clan from the caverns opted to stay, so we will have a big crowd to feed. I'm sure they will be needing me at the house.

Victoria is lying beside me sleeping peacefully. I hate to wake her, but I'm afraid if I don't, she'll be angry that I didn't.

I closed my journal and laid it on the nightstand. Victoria was curled up in a ball. I pulled the blanket back exposing her shoulder and her back. I gently caressed her creamy skin. She stirred.

"Nathan?"

"Hi, babe. Are you going to get up?"

"What time is it?"

"It's early. Seven-thirty. I have to go up to the house to make sure our guests are fed."

"Can't they feed themselves?" she asked, still half asleep.

I chuckled. "I'm sure they can, but I'd like to make sure everything runs smoothly. After all, they are our guests and don't forget; it snowed last night."

"Oh—right. I'm going back to sleep."

"You don't want to play in the snow?"

"Ugh! I _hate_ the snow!"

"Baby, it's not a question of survival anymore. We can have fun. We can build a snowman or maybe we can make a fort!" I said, with as much enthusiasm as I could muster."

"A fort? That was survival for me. No thanks."

I kissed her gently. "Have it your way. I'll be up at the house."

I dressed quickly and headed for the house. There was a fair amount of snow on the ground, and it was easy to see that only a few people had made the trek to the house before me on this cold, sunny morning. As I entered the house, it was evident that the older crowd were the only ones up. Tom and Maggie, Carl, and George were in the living room watching Good Morning America. Maria and Aunt Sue were in the kitchen preparing breakfast. They had the coffee made, and the sausage was already cooking on the stove. Now they were arguing on whether to make French toast of pancakes.

"Ladies! Good morning!" I said, interrupting the argument.

Maria turned to me. "Nathan, what do you think? French toast or pancakes?"

"Well, considering the large number of people here, you might want to make both, and then they will have a choice unless you run out of one or the other."

"He makes a good point," Maria replied.

"You ladies would have come to the same conclusion eventually, I'm sure of it. Would you like some help?"

"No, three people at the stove would just be too crowded. You can do the dishes if you like."

"Consider it done." I kissed each of the ladies on the cheek. Then I exited the kitchen and joined the group on the couch. Jeb had come in while I was in the kitchen. I sat down next to him.

"Morning, Jeb."

"Morning, Nate. So, how much snow you figure is out there?"

"I don't know, eight maybe nine inches?"

"I'm surprised the kids aren't up yet."

"They were outside playing in the snow last night until late. I'm sure they'll be up soon."

The door to the kitchen swung open, and Maria announced that the first round of pancakes was being served. Burns exited the bedroom as she made her announcement.

"Gee, you must have a sixth sense," I said to him.

"Nope, just a good sense of smell," Burns replied.

Jeb, Tom and Maggie, George, and Carl all got up and made a beeline for the kitchen. Burns crossed the room en route to the bathroom. I held back, so I could talk to Burns. I flipped on the TV and turned to the weather channel. They weren't calling for more snow. It was supposed to be partly sunny and cold. Burns returned and sat next to me.

"Where's your girlfriend?"

"She's asleep. She hates the snow."

"Really?"

"Yeah, apparently six years in the wilderness against the elements have taken its toll on Victoria."

"I can understand that."

"What about Lily?"

Lily entered the living room as I spoke. "What about me?" she asked, as she sat next to Burns.

"I was just wondering when you two were getting hitched," I joked.

Burns's face took on a hue of pink. I had obviously hit on a sore subject.

Lily grabbed Burns by the hand. "We haven't even been seeing each other for six months." It sounded like she was letting him off the hook. "What about you?" she asked, in an effort to turn the tables. "Are you ever going to ask someone to marry you?"

"Actually, I did. I got turned down."

Burns broke into the conversation. "I didn't know you asked Wanda to marry you."

"Not Wanda—Victoria."

Burns's eyes bugged out of his head. "Wow, I didn't know you two were in that place."

"Yeah, she didn't either. I'm okay with it."

"You're _okay _with it?" Lily repeated.

"It wasn't a drop on my knee and present her with a ring kind of proposal. It was more of a suggestion."

"You _suggested _you get married? She probably didn't take you seriously."

"Let me make something clear to you, Lily. I don't bring up a subject as important as marriage and not be serious about it. We're just not ready. That's all. It's not like we broke up or anything. She's sleeping in my bed even as we speak. We're good."

Lily didn't have a response. Instead she rose and went the kitchen for breakfast.

"Sorry, man," Burns said after she had gone.

"S'okay. Let's get some breakfast."

We were at the table eating when we were joined by Kim, Tom, and Priscilla. Afterwards, we returned to the living room. No sooner had we sat down when Burns's phone started to ring from the bedroom.

"Must be the newlyweds," he surmised, as he jumped up to retrieve the phone. He re-entered the room in mid-conversation. "Watching TV."…"You know there's eight inches of snow out there, right?"…"Hold on." Burns turned his attention to me. "Apparently, Wanda left her boots in the van, and she wants to know if anyone is willing to deliver them to her."

It took no thought on my part. Of course, I would deliver them to her. "I'll bring them to her, but you know she might have said something about it yesterday."

Burns relayed the message and hung up. "She said she didn't think about it yesterday."

I got up to leave when my phone began to ring. I answered it figuring it was Wanda. "Hey, beautiful."

"Hello, Nate?" It wasn't Wanda. It was her husband. "Don't worry about bringing them out here. I'll just carry here back to the house. It's silly for you to come all the way out here."

"Well, if you're sure. It's a long way to carry her. Call me if you need help."

"Yeah, no problem."

"I'll have Maria rustle up some breakfast for the two of you."

"Thanks, man."

The teenagers barged into the house as I hung up. They were covered with snow.

"We're hungry!" Jamie crowed.

Lily stood with her hands on her hips. "Take off those wet clothes and your shoes and leave them by the door."

They did as they were told and moved in mob fashion to the kitchen. No sooner had they invaded the kitchen, Gina entered the house.

"Hi, everyone! Isn't the snow awesome?"

I stood up. I wasn't sure why, other than I was genuinely happy to see her.

"I love the snow, but I'm surprised you like it considering you were on the run for so many years. I would have thought you would have hated it." I was putting Gina into the same category as Victoria.

"I wasn't a huge fan of the snow then, but I'm not on the run anymore, now am I?"

She had such a healthy outlook. It was one of the things I truly loved about Gina. "Angel, I like the way you think."

She made a pit stop and joined us on the couch. I couldn't help but give her a tight hug. "You want some breakfast?"

"Yeah, but I saw the kids come in. I'll wait till they're done."

"Nonsense! I'll get you a plate."

Lily shot me a look. I suppose she was telling me that Victoria would not approve. I ignored her and entered into the madness and mayhem in the kitchen. I grabbed a plate and stood in line behind Sarah. She offered to let me go ahead of her, but I turned her down. As soon as my plate was full, I returned to Gina. She thanked me as she placed the plate on the coffee table and began to eat. The others settled on the couch, and we started to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life'. It was only ten days before Christmas, and the souls loved everything Christmas. Every station on the TV was showing either a Christmas movie, A Christmas cartoon, or a Holiday special.

"Where's Evan?" I asked, as I gently rubbed her back while she ate.

"He and Rob are shoveling the path that leads from the cave to the house."

"That's a lot of shoveling. I should probably go and help."

"No, stay with me. We haven't hung together in so long."

I suppose she was enjoying the attention I was giving her. I know I enjoyed giving it to her. I chuckled. "Gee, some decision. Would I rather go out and do back breaking manual labor or relax in the warm house with a beautiful lady."

Gina was quick to respond. "I'm not beautiful."

"Oh, come on. I'm sure Evan tells you that you are beautiful."

"Not really."

Before I could answer her with a positive comment, Ian and Wanda walked in. Ian blurted out, "Is this where the hot chocolate is?"

Wanda hurried toward me and plopped on the coffee table. She immediately pulled off her snow covered sneakers and her wet socks. Her feet were bright red.

"Jesus, Ian! What, did you drag her through the snow?"

"She dared me," Ian said in his defense. "Don't worry, a nice hot Jacuzzi and you'll feel all better," he assured his bride. He crossed to the bathroom and disappeared inside to start the water. He reappeared and went to the door of the bedroom that he and Wanda shared prior to moving into their new home. As he grabbed the doorknob, Burns reminded him that the room was occupied. "They are in there."

Ian rolled his eyes. "I suppose they are taking a nap." I imagine that was his way of saying they were in there screwing like bunnies.

"I don't know," Burns said, with a face that mirrored Ian's.

Ian knocked on the door. "It's Ian. Can I get some clothes?"

It took a minute before the door slowly opened. Kyle looked as though he had been crying.

"You okay, man?" Ian asked earnestly.

"Yeah, I'm better now."

"Is Sunny okay?" Ian asked.

"Yeah."

Wanda rose off the coffee table. "Can I see Sunny?"

"Sure," Kyle replied, as he held the door open for Wanda. Wanda stepped into the bedroom and shut the door behind her.

"What's up?" I asked nonchalantly in an effort to keep the conversation on the matter at hand. I was worried that Sunny might pull another disappearing act.

"We had a long talk. I told her that I love her and I don't care if we ever have children."

Ian sucked in his breath.

I shot him a look because I knew how much children meant to the both of them. "Did you mean it?" I asked, unsure that he did.

"I want children in the worst way, but I only want them with Sunny. Truth is I just want Sunny. And if that means no kids, then that's the way it will be."

"So she's staying?" Ian asked. He and I must have been on the same wavelength.

"Yes, she's staying."

Ian and I simultaneously breathed out a sigh of relief. I'm sure Kyle thought that we were relieved for him, but we both knew if Sunny decided to bolt, Jeb would force Doc to remove Sunny, the Soul, from the host and send her to another planet. Then again, maybe Kyle figured it out and had told Sunny the things he did because he didn't want her to be sent away. At any rate, Sunny was staying, so everything was copacetic. Ian knocked on the bedroom door and reminded Wanda that he had the Jacuzzi filling with water.

Ian and Wanda disappeared inside the bathroom just as Evan and Rob entered the house. They were both rosy-cheeked from the cold.

"Good morning!" they chimed.

"Good morning. Gina told me you were shoveling your way here. How far did you get?"

Evan answered, as he pulled of his snow packed boots. "We got to the bunkhouse and decided to come in and warm up and maybe eat some breakfast."

"Maria and Aunt Sue are still in the kitchen. I'm sure they'll fix you some breakfast. I'll shovel my way back to the bunkhouse."

"I'll go with you," Burns offered, as he rose off the couch.

Burns and I shoveled the path to the bunkhouse. I was hoping to see Tori, but I didn't, so when we finished, I left Burns and headed back to the cave to check on her. She was still in bed. It was nearly eleven o'clock, and Tori was typically an early riser. I removed my coat, scarf, and gloves and sat on the edge of the bed. My hands were frozen, so I didn't want to touch her even though the thought of her warm body was hard to resist. I rubbed her body from outside the comforter that she had pulled over her head.

"Hey, sleepyhead. You gonna get up today?"

"No," she croaked from under the blanket. Her voice didn't sound normal to me. It sounded as if…"Hey, are you crying?"

"No," she croaked again.

"Yes, you are. What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Nothing."

I pulled the blanket off of her head, and her face was soaked with tears.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"This is because of the snow?"

"No. I just want to be left alone."

I was mystified over what I possibly could have done to warrant these tears. "You're sure you want me to leave you alone?"

She pulled the blanket back over her head. I got up and grabbed my coat. I thought if I headed to the house and brought her back some breakfast, she might be willing to talk to me. I entered the hallway in the cave and was about to pull on my coat when it hit me. I turned around quickly and went to her.

"This is about Sam, isn't it?"

"I miss him so much," she lamented.

"Tori, it's been six years."

"It wouldn't matter if it was sixteen years."

"Was he that good of a lover?" I couldn't hide the jealousy in my voice.

She pushed herself up into a semi-sitting position. "It wasn't about the sex. We talked about everything. I felt such a connection to him. I knew he probably wouldn't leave his wife, but I loved our friendship. I used to get up in the morning and run to my computer to check my e-mail. He used to stay up late to study and he'd always leave a message about one thing or another. Sometimes, we'd have several e-mails going with multiple conversations. It was fun, and we were learning so much about each other in the process."

I tossed my coat on the chair and sat on the edge of the bed. "Do you want me to talk to you more?" I said, as I stared off at the bookshelf. I was feeling pretty inadequate.

"Nate, there's nothing wrong with our relationship," she replied, in an effort to reassure me.

"No, nothing—except that you are in love with a ghost."

Calling her heart's desire a ghost certainly didn't help matters. Huge tears formed and slid down her cheeks. I needed to try and make amends. "And I'm pining away for a married woman."

Tori lowered her head to the pillow and began to sob. _What a frickin' idiot I am!_

"Look, Tori, I still love you; you know that, right?"

She nodded her head, but didn't look up at me. I kicked off my shoes and took off my pants which were soaked at the cuffs. I ripped off my socks and climbed into the bed with her. "Come here." I pulled her into my arms and held her while she cried over another man.

After about a half hour, she seemed to calm down. I combed her hair back off of her face. "Would you like to go up the house and get in the Jacuzzi?"

"Alone?"

I felt wounded. She didn't want to get in the Jacuzzi with me. "Um—sure, if that's what you want."

"Nate, if you get in with me then you'll want to make love to me, and I can't make love to you right now—not when I'm thinking about him. It wouldn't be fair."

I didn't see it her way, but I decided it would be best to be supportive.

I forced myself to nod my head as I spoke. "No, right. You take as long as you need. I'm right here when you need me."

"Thank you for being so understanding."

"No problem. Anything for my girl," I sounded sincere. In reality, I felt despondent. I mean, I knew I had no reason to feel this way considering my feelings for Wanda, but at least she was flesh and blood and living right here on the mountain. This guy probably wasn't even alive. She was feeding directly off of memories…distant memories. We dressed, and Tori packed a bag with clean clothes. Then we headed to the house. I had hoped that once we got there, she would invite me in. The house was crowded with people warming up after playing in the snow. Others were outside still enjoying the winter wonderland. Tori entered that bathroom—alone. I plopped onto the couch feeling terribly insecure. Gina was sitting in one of the big chairs under a blanket.

"What's wrong with you? You look like someone just ran over your dog."

"Nothing."

"Oh, come on. You can tell me."

I got up and sat on the arm of the chair, so I could speak without the others hearing, not that anyone was paying particular attention to us.

"Can I ask you a question?" I said in a low voice.

She smiled at me. "Sure."

"Do you ever think about me? I mean, do you ever miss me—us—what we had?"

"Of course I do. I've had the biggest crush on you since the day we met."

"Does it ever interfere with you and Evan's relationship?"

"Are you kidding? Did you forget my birthday?"

"I don't mean like that. I mean, when Evan makes love to you—do you ever…" I leaned forward, so I could speak lower. "Have you ever not made love to  
>Evan because you were thinking about me?"<p>

Her face became very serious. She looked down at her hands that she had folded in her lap. "Did Evan say something to you?"

I was surprised at her answer. I pulled her chin up, so I could look into her eyes. "Have you?"

"After my birthday, it was pretty bad."

"Gina, I didn't know."

"How could you? I tried my best to stay away and only show you my happy side." She smiled. "Sometimes I would sit and watch you play pool. You'd put your arms around Wanda or Sarah when you were showing them a shot, and I'd wish it was me."

I brushed her hair behind her ear. It would be so easy right now to pull her into my arms, but Evan was outside playing with the teens, and Tori was in the bathroom. Either of them could walk up on us, and neither would be understanding.

"Shit," I said out loud.

"Yeah—shit," Gina repeated.

We were both in relationships with people that we loved, and yet we both were drawn to each other. It had been a month since our last encounter, and here I thought that she and Evan were happy.

"Do you want to meet somewhere?" I asked. It was stupid because I was putting both of our relationships in jeopardy.

Gina's eyes immediately shifted to the door that had just slammed shut. It was Evan. I placed my hand on her shoulder. "Thanks for your opinion," I said out loud, so the others in the room could hear.

"Anytime, Nate," she said with a smile.

As I got up and spun around, I practically walked into Evan.

"Can I help you?" Evan asked.

"Nope. I was just asking Gina's opinion on a surprise I was cooking up for Tori."

"Uh huh," he replied with skepticism.

I hightailed it to the kitchen. Maria and Aunt Sue were gone. Rachel was drying the dishes and putting them away.

"Hey, Rachel."

"Hey, handsome. How's it hanging?"

I chuckled. "About the same. Need some help?"

"Nah. There's only a little bit left. You up for a few games of pool when I'm done?"

"Sure. I haven't kicked your ass in a while."

Rachel finished up the dishes, and I informed Gina to let Tori know where I'd gone. Then Rachel and I headed to the gameroom for an afternoon of pool. The gameroom was crowded since there were twice as many people on the mountain. It was mostly the cavern people. I think they were enjoying the freedom of being in an actual building and having the freedom to move about freely on the land. Unfortunately, they also had monopolized the pool table as well. Ice and Aaron were in the middle of a game, and Doc was waiting to play winner. I looked at Rachel.

"Would you like to take a walk?"

"Sure."

We donned our winter gear and headed out the door. The teens were out again for another round of winter fun. Rachel and I walked on the path toward the cave and then we veered off and walked around the cave and into the woods. The snow was pristine here with the exception of deer tracks.

"So how are things with you and Victoria?" Rachel asked.

I chuckled. "It depends on the day."

"Why isn't she taking this walk with you?"

"Probably because you asked me first."

"I haven't seen her all day."

"She's not feeling well."

She stopped and placed her hands on her hips. "Really? If that was the case, the Nathan I know would be with her. He certainly wouldn't be traipsing through the woods with another woman."

Rachel knew me so well. "She said she wanted to be alone."

"Look at you! Something's wrong. Did you two have a fight?"

"No, not in the last twenty four hours."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Well, we had a fight the night of the wedding. Actually, it wasn't even a fight, at least on my end. I was just trying to make love to her. She didn't want me to mess up her dress because she wanted to save it for the next wedding."

"_Next _wedding? Who's getting married?"

"That's exactly the same thing I said."

"And?"

"She said possibly you and Rob or Evan and Gina."

A smile crossed Rachel's face. "Aha! You fought over Gina."

"It wasn't a fight!" I growled in my defense.

"It's written all over your face! You don't want Gina to get married. You're still in love with her."

"I'm not in love with her." I didn't sound very convincing.

"You are such a liar!"

"Look, Gina isn't the reason Victoria doesn't want to be around me."

"Right."

"I even asked her to marry me. She turned me down."

"_Because you are in love with Gina!" _she bellowed.

"She turned me down because she's in love with someone else."

"Get out!" Rachel's eyes blew up like two saucers. "Who? Not Blake."

"No, not Blake. Some guy who broke her heart six years ago."

"You're shittin' me."

"I'm not—and to tell you the truth, I'm kinda freaked out about it."

"Why? It's not like she's ever going to see him again.'"

"I know! I just feel…" I was searching for the right word.

"Like you're second choice?" She finished my sentence.

"No!"

She laughed at me. "Now you know how it feels to have a woman in your bed because her first choice is unavailable. It sucks, doesn't it?"

"It's not like that," I hissed.

"Bullshit. It's eating you up."

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked in defeat.

"You are just going to have to accept it. She's with you now, right? Give her a few days to grieve, and I'm sure the depression will pass."

"I hope so. I hate seeing her cry."

We continued to walk in silence until Rachel bent down quickly, scooped up a handful of snow, and shoved it in my face. She took off running, and I followed her. I caught her pretty quickly and knocked her down into the snow. Before she could get up, I dropped to my knees and pinned her wrists above her head. I straddled her, so she couldn't get up. "You think you're cute," I growled.

She laughed. "Too cute for you!"

I let go of her wrists and shoveled my hands into the snow above her head, and came up with a handful of the white stuff with the purpose of smashing it into her face. She slapped my hands causing the snow to fly everywhere.

"That's it!" I sneered, as I laid the bulk of my weight on her. We were face to face as I reached for another handful of snow. I was about to drop it on her when she caught me quite by surprise by grabbing my face and planting her lips on mine. At first I didn't respond, but she pushed her sweet tongue into my mouth. I dropped the snow and placed my hands on the ground for better leverage as I allowed myself to kiss her back. The kiss lasted for nearly a minute before I came to my senses and pulled back.

I creased my forehead. "Why did you do that?"

"I don't know. You looked like you needed it and let's face it; I've always been attracted to you."

"Rachel, we are lying in the snow, and you don't want to cheat on Rob, now do you?"

She pushed me off of her. "Fine! You probably couldn't satisfy me anyway."

"Damn it, Rachel! I'm trying to do the right thing here!"

"Oh really? For who? Rob? You know, Rob is no angel."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Have you ever noticed how Rob and Holly look at each other?"

"No."

"Well, they do."

"You think he's interested in Holly?"

"Well if you call fucking her 'interest', then yeah."

"No way. Rob wouldn't cheat on you."

"I asked him point blank, and he admitted it."

"Is that the reason for the sudden interest in me?"

"No." Now it was Rachel who didn't sound very convincing.

"Listen, Rachel, I think you are beautiful and incredibly sexy, but right now you don't want to sleep with me. You just want to get back at Rob. I don't know why he cheated on you, just like I don't know why you cheated on him with me, but you really don't want to do this, unless you are ready to trash your relationship. I finally have gone public for the first time in six years with a real relationship, and I'm not going to screw that up."

"But it hurts." She began to tear up.

"I know it does. I'll always be here for you. I consider you a good friend, but that's it. The occasional roll in the hay has to stop."

She just stared at me as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Come here." I pulled her into my arms and held her while she cried. "Is he still seeing her?"

"He said it only happened a few times and then he told her he loved me and didn't want to continue the affair."

I chuckled, "Maybe you should run away."

"I thought about it," she said in a serious tone.

"No! I was only kidding. Do you want me to talk to Holly?"

"No. I'm prettier than Holly, aren't I?"

"Sweetheart, you are one of the most beautiful women on the mountain."

"Then why does Rob feel the need to cheat on me?"

"I don't know. Maybe you aren't giving him the attention he craves. Maybe he thinks you are cheating again. After all, you _are_ out here in the middle of the woods with me. Maybe Holly's been giving him the attention he wants form you. Maybe it's payback. I just don't know."

She nodded her head. "Let's go back."

"Maybe you could drag him into the Jacuzzi and give him special treatment."

"Yeah. What about you? Are you going to let Victoria wallow all day?"

"You know what? I think I am going to drag my warrior princess kicking and screaming out into the snow." I said with a smile.

We entered the house, and both Rob and Victoria were sitting on the couch. They turned and stared at us as we took off our winter gear and hung it by the door. Rachel gave me a heartfelt hug and kissed me on the cheek. "Thank you," was all she said. She immediately walked over to Rob. She took him by the hands and pulled him off the couch. She wrapped herself around him and whispered something in his ear. Then she started backing up toward the bathroom.

I walked over to the couch and sat down next to Victoria. I nudged her shoulder with my own. "I'm glad to see you are up dressed. If you had retreated to the cave, I was going to drag you out of the bed."

She wasn't smiling. "What were you doing with Rachel?" The one bad thing about having a girlfriend who started out as merely a friend is that she knew all of my secrets, including the fact that Rachel and I had a long standing affair.

"We had a long talk about our respective lovers."

"You talked about me?"

"I did."

"You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

"I think you're passionate. I think that when you give a piece of your heart to someone, you never take it back. They have it forever. I hope I have a piece of your heart."

"You do."

"Good." I kissed her gently on the lips. "Did you eat yet today?"

"No, but when I went into the kitchen, your sister and Holly were preparing lunch, and they told me I should just wait."

"Then, how about we go play in the snow?"

"No," she said adamantly.

"Oh, come on. I want to roll around in the snow and make out with my girlfriend."

"Nate!" she whined.

"Xena!" I whined back.

"Fine," she replied, "but not till after lunch."

"Perfect!" I said with a smile.

Lunch was served less than a half hour later. Since it was cold, lunch consisted of chicken noodle soup and an assortment of sandwiches including peanut butter and jelly which is what I ate growing up as a kid. Campbell's chicken soup with stars and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich—mmmm—brought back memories. Afterward, I dragged Victoria out into the snow and surprisingly, she had a good time. Just as I had lain on top of Rachel in the snow, I did the same with Victoria, only this time when I kissed her, I didn't pull back and ask her why. I just kissed her again and again. It was a good afternoon.

That evening, we hung out in the gameroom. Victoria reverted back to playing poker with Blake and the usual crowd minus Ian, who was still on honeymoon status. The cavern clan was still obsessed with the pool table. I had to put my name on a list and wait to play. Maria and Jeb were working on a puzzle together. I joined them while I waited my turn.

Maria spoke to me without looking up. "I haven't spoken to you in some time, Nathan."

"I've been a little busy with our company," I said in my defense.

She shot me a look. "How are you handling the marriage of Wanda and Ian?"

"I'm okay. Victoria and I have taken our relationship to the next level."

I looked over at Victoria, as did Maria, and we saw Tori laughing and placing her hand on Blake's forearm in what could only be perceived as flirting.

"Exactly what is the next level?" she asked.

"We're a couple. She's my girlfriend."

"Hmmm."

"Maria, I finally decide to be faithful to one person, and you are going to question me on it?"

"I didn't question you, but now that you mention it, you _decided _to be faithful? Wow, seems to me like this took a lot of thought. Does Victoria know of your decision because it looks like she's leaving her options open over there with Blake—and another thing, does that decision not count when you are visiting Nadia?"

"Why did I even come over here to talk to you?"

Jeb chuckled. "Sounds to me like Maria tells you the things you already know, but don't want to admit."

I was pissed and I fired back. "At least I don't sit here and play with a puzzle when I'd rather be playing with the woman sitting next to me."

"Nathan!" Maria scolded.

I pulled my lips into a tight line and walked away. I walked over to Victoria and leaned in to her.

"I'm going to bed," I announced.

"Okay, I'll see you in the morning."

"What? No, I want you to come to me."

"Nate, I'm going to be here playing for another two hours or so. I'll just sleep in my room."

"It's cold in your room," I said, trying to convince her to sleep with me.

"It's cold everywhere in the cave." She turned to me and looked me dead in my eyes. "We're not living together, Nate."

"No, I know. I just thought that with Danny sleeping with the other teens, and the cavern clan still here, that you'd rather sleep in a warm bed. Once the bunkhouse is empty, you can take one of the rooms in there as your own."

Victoria got up and dragged me over to the door. She pulled my coat off the hook and held it out for me to put on. "What's wrong with you?" she asked.

"I thought you were my girl," I sounded desperate.

"I am. I just need to be alone tonight."

"Why, so you can sleep with Blake?" I wanted to take it back as soon as I said it, but I couldn't.

"You are so stupid, you know that? This is not about Blake. Just give me a couple of days, all right?"

"Sam? This is about Sam?"

She shot me a look. "Nate, do you want to break up with me?"

"NO!"

"Then, please, just give me this, okay? I am not going to sleep with Blake or anyone else. I don't want to sleep with anyone right now."

"Except Sam," I surmised.

She gritted her teeth. "Nathan, I love you, but right now you are pissing me off. Go to bed, and I'll see you in the morning."

I was so angry, I couldn't speak. Victoria leaned to my lips and kissed me, once, twice, three times. The third kiss was longer than the first two pecks, but she didn't use her tongue. Before I knew it, I was walking down the shoveled path toward the cave. I was angry that Maria and Jeb had witnessed my supposed girlfriend turning me down. I was angry that she was _still_ pining over Sam Eggleston, a name I would surely not forget. I was angry that Blake was getting more attention than I was. I was kicking myself for not taking Rachel up on her offer.

I kicked off my shoes once I got to my room. I stripped down to my boxers and climbed into the bed. I pulled the blanket over my head in frustration. The sweet smell of Victoria's perfume wafted over me, and I eventually drifted off to sleep.

13


	65. Chapter 65

**Again, sorry about the expanse of time between chapters. I've been ripping my hair out with FTLOB, Book 2. I tried to get someone I respected to help me with the editing, but I never heard back from him. So, I've been picking people's brains about comma placement and quotations. It's crazy. I do want to thank Krystle for the beautiful pics of Gavin and Wes that she posted on Facebook with direct quotes from the book. I put them into my shared dropbox for safe keeping. I'm still taking the days one hour at a time….I hope you still enjoy reading about Nate. I love him.**

Hello, Baby—Good-bye, Babe

12/16/2002 – I finally make a commitment to Victoria, and here I am lying alone in my bed. What the fuck? Maybe I shouldn't have asked her to marry me. It seems that everything has been going downhill since that moment. Why is it every time I finally decide to try and make things right, I end up on the short end of the stick? I'm so frustrated right now. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should go to Victoria's room and put on a happy face and pretend that everything is okay, or if I should ignore her and wait for her to come to me. What if she doesn't come to me? I hate this crap. Normally, I would go to Maria for advice, but I've pissed her off, too. She is one person I am definitely going to avoid until Jeb leaves. I don't need him knowing that the leader of the mountain got spanked by his adopted mommy. Maybe I should just stay in my room for the next day or so.

There was a knock on the door. I figured it was probably Tori. I slapped my journal closed and scooted off the bed. I answered the door in my boxers. It wasn't Victoria.

"Nathan, put on some damn clothes!" Maria snapped, as she stood in the doorway.

"Maria!" I sputtered, as I backed into the room. I grabbed my jeans off the chair and quickly pulled them on.

"Do you have any explanation for the way you treated me last night?" she demanded.

"I was upset. I came to you hoping for support, and instead you made me feel like an idiot in front of Jeb. He's the leader of his clan, and I'm the leader of mine. You treated me like your kid. Regardless of how close we are, you aren't my mother."

Once again, I had put my foot squarely into my mouth. The pain was obvious on her face.

She paused and took a deep breath, I assume, to keep from exploding. When she spoke, she was very calm. "Very well, Nathan. I understand. I can never replace your mother. It was never my intention. If you want me to stay out of your business, then I can respect that." She turned to leave.

"Maria," I called out. "Please, I'm sorry."

"No, Nathan, You made yourself perfectly clear."

"I need you!" I blurted out.

She stopped, but she didn't turn around. I recognized it for the chance she was giving me, and I spilled my guts.

"I didn't mean to disrespect you. I've just been going through some things, and I'm all screwed up inside."

"It's none of my business," she said coldly.

I lowered my head. "Fine."

"Oh, Nathan." She opened her arms inviting me in. I took the bait and rushed to her. She hugged me tightly. "Tell me what's got you so upset that you were willing to attack me."

I pulled her into my room and shut the door. I told her the whole story from the night of the wedding to my learning about Sam. I explained that I felt like I was standing in line behind a ghost.

"You remember I told you the story about how I lost my husband?"

"Of course I do."

"Jeb is a very sweet man, and I would be lying if I didn't admit that I was attracted to him, but no one will ever replace my husband. I could possibly fall in love with Jeb, but even if I did, he'd never be number one in my heart. If we moved forward with a relationship…" My eyes widened. "Not that we have, but if we did, I would want him to know the truth, and then he could decide for himself whether I was worth pursuing. Maybe Victoria is doing the same because she wouldn't want to marry you and then spring it on you a year or two later that her heart holds so much love for this man from her past, regardless of whether she feels she will ever see this man again."

"But I feel like she won't let go of the possibility that he's not only out there, but that she holds out the hope that they will eventually find each other again."

"Do you have any idea how many military wives live years hoping their MIA husbands would be found and returned to them?"

"Those men are their husbands!" I reasoned.

"Love is love. You hold onto your love for Wanda even though she has married another man, and they seem very happy."

All of her reasoning still didn't make me feel any better. Before I could answer her, there was a knock on the door. I crossed the room and opened it.

"Hi." Victoria looked into the room. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No, I was just leaving. I was talking food with Nathan. I need Burns to take a road trip for me."

"Don't let him go before I talk to him. It's important," I said.

"Sure, I'll tell him." She looked directly at Victoria. "Be good to each other."

Maria exited the room, and I closed the door behind her.

"How did you sleep?" I asked.

"I slept okay. What about you?"

"I slept like shit," I admitted.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Yes. I'm mad at you! I wanted you in my bed. We didn't have to make love. I just wanted to hold you and know that you cared about me. Instead, you turned me down flat in front of everyone at that table. How was I supposed to feel when you were giving your attention to Blake?"

"I was not giving my attention to Blake!"

"Victoria, I saw you. You were touching his arm and being all sweet."

"I was not!"

"You know what? You're right. I'm obviously fucking blind." There was an urgent knock at the door. "Jesus Christ, who the fuck is it, now?" I swung the door open, and Megan was standing there. "Can I help you?" I said abruptly.

"It's Melanie. She's in labor!"

"Well, that's just friggin' fantastic. Did anyone tell Doc?"

"Yes. Doc knows. He sent me to tell you, and Jamie is headed to Wanda."

"Wanda?"

"Melanie wants Wanda with her."

"Of course, she does," I said rather callously. "Well, there's nothing I can do about it—as long as Doc is aware of the situation. Thanks for the info, Megan."

Megan stepped away, and I closed the door.

I had forgotten where I was in the argument. Victoria stepped forward. "Look. I don't want to fight. I came here to cheer you up." She placed her arms around my neck. "What can I do to make you smile?"

"Victoria, I haven't even brushed my teeth yet."

"I think I can make you happy without kissing you." She opened the top button on my jeans and slid the zipper down.

"Tori," I said in weak protest.

She pulled my pants down to my ankles, and I didn't fight her. She slip off my boxers, got to her knees, and serviced me—and I let her. I let her because I wanted her to prove that she loved me. Victoria worked me the way that she had been taught. It wasn't long before I was hard as a rock and enjoying the hell out of the licking and sucking. Although I knew I could easily climax right here, I wanted to satisfy her as well.

"Tori, stop." She didn't stop. I pulled her head away.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I want to make love to you."

"Nate, no. I just want to satisfy you."

"What, you don't want to make love to me?" It disturbed me to think that she didn't want me.

"I'm already dressed and Melanie is in labor." It was a poor excuse.

"Fine!" I snapped. "Let's go to the house."

"Nathan! I was right in the middle of a blow job!"

"Yeah, you're done," I hissed.

"Why?"

"You are not going to give me a blow job simply because you'd rather do that then have me make love to you. You don't want me. I get it."

"It's not like that at all!"

"Maybe you could just pretend that I'm Sam!" I blurted out.

Without missing a beat, Tori slapped me in the face—hard. "You know what? I don't want a boyfriend!" she screeched.

"Oh, you want a boyfriend. You just don't want me!" I screamed back.

"Fuck you, Nathan Downey!"

"Right back atcha, babe!"

"You're an asshole. I don't know what I ever saw in you!" She turned and bolted out the door.

I slammed the door behind her. "Bitch!" I ran my fingers through my hair in an effort to calm down. I was fuming. "Fuck!" I began pacing the floor. "Why?—Why do I get myself into these fucked up situations?" I said to myself. Actually, I was yelling at myself. "I should have just stayed with Gina from the get go. She never gave me any trouble. She even understood about Nadia. I'm such a fucking idiot!"

I leaned against the book case and stared blindly at the books. My eyes fell upon "To Kill a Mockingbird," the book I had bought for Gina months ago. She gave it to me when she finished it, so I could read it. I pulled it off the shelf and sat back on the bed. I propped up my pillow against the head board and settled in to read the book. At first I had a hard time concentrating because I was still keyed up about the Tori situation. After a while, I calmed down and got into the book. I read for more than an hour before I finally put the book down because I needed to go to the bathroom.

I figured it was my cue to finally get up. I checked my phone. It was two in the afternoon. Between sleeping, fighting, and reading, I had managed to waste half of the day away without leaving my room. I didn't want to leave now, but I needed to shower and shave and check on Melanie. I figured that Mel was probably hunkered down at the bunkhouse, so I decided I'd shower there, thereby killing two birds with one stone. It would also mean avoiding Victoria.

To my surprise, the bunkhouse was empty. I took my time in the shower. Although the water didn't ease my troubles, the hot torrent cascading over my skull definitely soothed my bruised ego. I dressed and primped my hair and shaved until I looked ready for a date and marched off toward the house in hopes of finding Melanie and possibly grabbing some leftover lunch.

As I approached the house, I saw Burns pulling away in the van. I could only assume that he was going to get the groceries that Maria had mentioned she needed. I entered the house and was met with explosive anger.

"What the hell is he doing in here? Get out!" Melanie screamed at me.

Wanda rose quickly from her chair, grabbed me, and escorted me back out the door.

"Are you crazy? Burns told me that no one would come in here."

"What? Burns isn't even here. He went somewhere. The others told me that Melanie was in labor."

"She is, and she doesn't want _you_ here," Wanda scolded.

"What did _I_ do?"

"Nothing. She doesn't want anyone here except me and Jared."

"Where is Ian?"

"I told him to go home and take a nap. Why don't you go check on him?"

"Okay. You sure are bossy now that you're married." I smiled. She was so cute when she was being sassy.

"Nate, you know I'm not bossy, but Melanie is on edge here, and so am I. Please, respect that."

"Okay, Beautiful. I'll go check on your husband."

"Good, keep him company 'cause he's freaking out without me."

I left the house and immediately headed to the house in the woods. Again, this was a good plan because it kept me away from anyplace that Tori might be.

I knocked on the door, and a minute later, Ian answered.

"Did she have the baby yet?" he asked.

"No. I walked into the house and was practically attacked by the crazed woman in labor. Your wife rescued me."

Ian smiled. "It's nice to hear you refer to her as my wife."

"Hey, I just call 'em like I see 'em. Wanda told me to come and watch over you. Apparently, she's already got the bossy part down."

Ian broke into a laugh. "Yeah, she put me in my place, too. So, she sent you to be my babysitter, huh?"

"Yeah, and it's a good thing, too. Me and Victoria have hit a major bump in the road. I'm doing my best to avoid her right now."

"Sorry to hear that, man. I like you and Tori together."

I gave him a look. "You'd like me to be with anyone, as long as it's not Wanda."

"True."

"So, what do you want to do?"

"I've been given permission to have a few beers. That's what I'd like to do."

"You have beer here?"

"No, but there's plenty sitting in a cooler outside the gameroom."

"So, you want to take a little stroll?"

"Absolutely."

Ian threw on his flannel shirt and his work boots, coat, gloves, baseball hat and scarf, and we headed off to the gameroom.

"You know with Melanie forcing everyone out of the house, everyone is going to be in the gameroom. Maybe we should take our beer and go to my room where we can be alone."

"Nate, I thought you had a thing for my wife. You know I don't swing that way," he joked.

I sighed. "I don't want to see Victoria right now. I especially don't want to see her flirting with Blake."

"Understandable. We can grab a deck of cards and play some poker."

I have never been a fan of poker, but if it meant avoiding Victoria, then I was all for it. Although…"You ever play chess?"

"Do I look like I've ever played chess?"

I laughed. "No. It was worth a shot."

"I play backgammon."

"Really?"

"Sure, my mom taught me to play when I was kid."

"My sister has a backgammon game. Let's see if we can borrow it."

At the gameroom, Ian poked his head in the door to see if Kim was there. She wasn't, and according to Ian, neither was Victoria. I asked him if Blake was in there, and he said he didn't notice, but there were a lot of people in there.

"You know; if you are so afraid of Blake stealing your girl, then why don't you go and get her?"

"You mean like you did when Wanda went to the cave for six weeks in the hopes you would come and get her?"

"Touché."

"The problem is not really Blake. It's someone from her past that she can't let go of. He's putting a wedge between us."

"You know Wanderer doesn't know it, but there was a girl in my past, too."

"You know everyone has a past, but most of us let it go after the invasion. The chances of you running into an ex girlfriend are pretty slim; don't you think?"

Ian chuckled. "Yeah." We entered the cave and headed to Kim's room. I knocked on the make shift door, and Priscilla came running to answer it.

"Uncle Nate! Did Melanie have her baby yet?"

"No, sweetheart. Wanda is with her. I'm sure it won't be too long." I stepped into the room, and Kim was sitting for Victoria, who was sketching her portrait. _Fucking great. _I looked up at the ceiling as if I were able to see God. _Are you out to get me today?_

"Nate, what brings you here?" Kim said, figuring it was Victoria that brought me to Kim's room.

Victoria shot me a look and went back to her sketching.

"I came to borrow your backgammon game."

"Oh—sure. Priscilla, would you get the backgammon game for your uncle?"

Priscilla walked over to the chest and opened it. She rooted around inside it until she found what she was looking for.

Ian finally spoke up. "Hey, Tori. I was talking to Wanderer, and she said she'd like to get a portrait of the two of us painted to go above the fireplace. Do you think you might have the time to do that?"

"I have all the time in the world," she said coolly.

"Well, you know, she and I are going to be leaving at some point. Wanderer made me cut a deal to spend the winters at the caverns."

"Hmmm, maybe you can take your kid with you."

"Jamie isn't our kid."

She looked up from her sketching, but she didn't move her head. "I meant him." Again, her eyes shot to me.

I couldn't contain my own comments. "Don't worry. I've got places to go and people to do." Priscilla was standing in front of me with the backgammon case in her hand. I snatched it from her. "Come on; let's go."

Ian followed me out of the room. "Places to go and people to do? Really?"

"Shut up."

We entered my room and the conversation came to a halt. Ian pulled off his coat and tossed it on the dresser. He pulled a couple of beers from the twelve-pack we had poached from the cooler and handed one to me. We sat on opposite ends of the bed and began to play. Ian didn't bring up the Tori situation until we were on our second beer.

"Are you going to go and try to get her back?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because the more I think about it, the more I realize that I don't really love her. I just wanted to be in love because I can't have the girl I really love."

"Nate, you're not going to make this about Wanderer."

"Why not? She's the girl I've always wanted. Even Gina knew that. That's the girl I should have settled for."

"You shouldn't have to _settle_ for anyone."

I opened a third bottle of beer. I still hadn't eaten today. "Women. They are all nothing but bitches and whores."

"Dude, watch what you say. Wanderer is a woman, and she is neither of those things."

"You want to beat the shit out of me?" I said it almost as a dare.

"I don't think my wife would appreciate it if I beat up my babysitter."

"Whatever."

"You know what? I'm hungry. I wonder if there's any food in the gameroom."

"You go. I'll stay here."

"Fine, but I'll be back."

"Sure, whatever."

"You know; I don't think I like angry Nate."

"Fuck you," I said with a grin. "Bring me back some food."

"Why don't you put down the beer and just come with me."

"I thought _I_ was supposed to be the baby sitter."

Ian laughed. "Yeah, it seems you are a bigger baby than I am."

I grabbed my coat. "Come on."

When we arrived at the gameroom, we learned that Burns had returned from town with pizza and Greek salads for the masses, since it was obvious that Melanie wasn't going to allow anyone near the kitchen. Ian grabbed a pizza and carried it to an empty table. I grabbed a couple of sodas. I plopped down next to him as he opened the box. The pizza was covered with sausage, mushrooms, and onions.

"Onions?" I questioned him.

"Yeah, onions. It's not like either one of us going to get laid tonight."

"Ouch. At least I'm not on my honeymoon."

"Shut up; or I'll tell Victoria that you're sleeping with Holly."

I leaned close to him. "A. She'd never believe you, and B. I don't particularly give a shit what you tell her. I'm through with her."

"Oh, come on. You have one little fight, and you're ready to dump the girl you love?"

"In case you forgot, the girl I love is up at the house with Melanie."

"You're startin' to piss me off, Nate."

I pushed myself away from the table. "I don't know why you're pissed. You won." I spun around and grabbed a box of pizza off the other table and left.

I was in a foul mood. I didn't want to admit my feelings for Victoria, so it was easier to transfer everything I was feeling for Tori to Wanda. This was the way I dealt with the anger and the hurt. I went back to my room, ate my pizza, and went back to reading "To Kill a Mockingbird." Eventually, I took a quick walk to the outhouse and back to my room without running into Victoria. It was another cold night. I considered going up to the house to check on the progress of Melanie's labor, but I didn't feel like getting bitched at by another female. I decided my best course of

action was to just go to bed.

I woke early, probably because I had gone to bed early. I made up my mind to get out of bed, go up to the house, and take a shower regardless of what was happening at the house. I grabbed a set of clean clothes and a toothbrush, and I was out the door. It was overcast this morning, but it felt too warm to snow. I reached the house and held my breath as I pulled the door open. To my pleasant surprise, the only person awake in the house that I could see was Wanda.

"Hey, it's the beautiful Mrs. O'Shea."

"Shhhh."

"What?" Wanda was sitting on the couch hunched over and staring into her lap. It took me only a second to realize she was coddling a bundle in her lap. "You have the baby!" I dropped my clothes on the table by the door, tiptoed over to the couch, and sat next to her. "Wow. Look at him. He's so perfect."

"I know, right?"

Wanda looked so natural as she held the baby comfortably in her lap. I beamed at her. "Soon, it will be your turn."

"You know I wanted to wait until I was eighteen to go off birth control, but seeing this; I'm ready to be pregnant tomorrow."

"Would you like some help with that?" I teased.

"I can't do it alone, but I'm pretty sure my husband would object."

I nudged her. "Just checking."

"You'll be a father some day."

"Right. And who pray tell would be the mother?" I laid my head on her shoulder.

"Maybe Victoria," she replied.

"Bite your tongue, woman. We are not in love."

"But you make love to her," she reminded me.

I couldn't tell her that those days were over. "You know they call it making love, but really it's just sex."

"I disagree. There is a huge difference in making love and sex. See this baby? He is the result of two people making love."

"They had sex," I reiterated.

"They had sex with meaning."

"So, are you saying that if you and I had—you know…?"

"We would have made love because we love each other. I would have done everything in my power to please you and you, I'm assuming, would have done everything in your power to please me."

_Fucking 'A' right. _"I try to please Victoria when I'm with her, but I'm still not in love with her."

Wanda raised her head and looked directly at me. "Does she try to please you?"

"You're getting a little personal now; aren't you?" _If giving me a blow job is pleasing me then, yeah, only she doesn't want me to touch her. Shit! Why did she have to ask me that question?_

Ian came through the door at that moment and saw us huddled close together on the couch.

"What the hell?" he growled. It was obvious the last conversation between him and I had made an impact on him.

Wanda turned her head towards Ian. "Come see. I have the baby."

As Ian came around the far side of the couch and saw little Jesse lying peacefully in Wanda's lap, a smile came over his face. He sat next to her on the opposite side of where I was sitting and stared at the baby. "Can I hold him?"

"Sure," Wanda replied in a soft voice.

She passed the baby to Ian. He cradled Jesse in his arms and stared at him. "Hey there, little one. You gonna play baseball with Coach?" He touched his hands. "Look at his little fingers."

"Where _are_ Mel and Jared?" I asked, realizing that Mom and Dad were missing.

"I told them to take a nap while I watched him. Excuse me." Wanda got up and left the living room. She returned a few minutes later with a cup of coffee. "Ian?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Would you tell Nate the difference between making love and sex?"

"Yeah, there's no difference," he said nonchalantly.

"HA!" I bellowed.

"Ian!"

He raised his head and looked at Wanda. "Why are you talking to him about that stuff anyway?"

"Just answer the question," she urged.

"I would, but you know I have a tendency to exaggerate."

I could tell just by the look on Wanda's face, that Ian's response had something to do with a prior discussion that I was not a party to. She was clearly agitated.

She continued. "Well, all I can say is when we are playing, or when I am trying to be sexy, for me; that's sex. It's fun and it's wild, but when it starts with a long slow passionate kiss, and I'm emotionally invested, then for me; it's making love."

"And what would you call this morning?" Ian asked.

"We didn't do anything this morning," she answered quickly.

"Exactly." Ian looked at me. "She didn't even kiss me good-bye."

I shook my head in sympathy. "Sounds like the marriage is over, dude."

Wanda had been standing a few feet away with her coffee in hand. She set the coffee cup on the table and marched over to us. "Nate would you take the baby, please?"

"You're not going to hit him; are you?"

"The baby? No."

"I meant your husband," I declared, as I took the baby from Ian.

Wanda took Ian by the hand and dragged him into the kitchen. A minute later, Wanda returned and took the baby from me. She smiled as soon as she laid eyes on the newborn. Ian came back into the living room looking dejected.

"Why don't you two go chop wood or something?" I'd like to think it was a suggestion, but really, it was an order.

"Why is she mad at_ me_? I didn't do anything," I protested.

Ian narrowed his eyes at me. "You started this whole thing. I don't know how, but somehow…you know what? Let's _go _chop some wood."

I didn't like the sound of that.

Thankfully, Wanda didn't like the sound of it, either. "Ian, I expect you to be on your best behavior. You should be thinking about the difference between sex and making love."

"I _know _the difference," he growled.

"Really," she said sarcastically.

At that moment the baby started to cry. Wanda focused on the baby as she tried to calm him, but he continued his protest.

"He may need a diaper change," I suggested.

"I've never done that," Wanda exclaimed.

"Well, check his diaper first," Ian urged. We lay Jesse on the couch and peeled back his diaper. "Oh! Yeah, he needs a change. Where is his stuff?" Ian asked.

"In the bedroom."

"I'll get it," I said, as I headed toward Burns's room.

"Do it quietly. I don't want to wake them," Wanda ordered.

I was getting kind of annoyed at all the ordering. Unlike Wanda, I had changed a diaper before. If anyone should have been issuing orders, it should have been me. I left the room quickly before I said something I couldn't take back. I quickly located the baby supplies and returned with a few diapers, wipes, and baby powder.

I started the diaper changing mission, and Wanda and Ian both allowed me to take the lead. It turned into a team effort, and in the end, Jesse was wiped, freshly powdered, and diapered. Once he was changed, Ian took him and rocked him in his arms until he fell asleep.

I decided to take my shower in the bunkhouse. I announced that I had things to do and left the house just as Sunny and Kyle emerged from the bedroom.

The rest of the day went as normal as I suppose a day could, considering Victoria and I seemed to be avoiding each other. I did run into Gina. She questioned me about the Tori situation. It seemed that the news of our breakup had spread, and Gina wondered if the conversation she and I had begun the day before had anything to do with it. I merely told Gina that I felt I would be better on my own for a while. I was tired of trying to keep one girl happy. Gina sounded almost disappointed. The problem was, I wasn't sure if she was disappointed because she felt bad that I didn't have Victoria anymore, or if it was because I said that I wanted to be on my own.

Wanda and Sunny left before lunch to go to town to buy clothes and god only knows what else for the baby. Ian became more sullen as the hours went by, and the girls didn't return. After dinner, I dragged him to the gameroom with the intentions of playing pool, and who should be there, Victoria, of course. She was playing poker with Blake, Holly, Rachel, and Rob. As soon as Ian entered the building, Holly called him over to the poker table.

"I saved a seat for you!" she called out.

We walked over to the table. Everyone had a beer in front of them; including Blake, although it was unopened. Ian took the empty seat. My eyes met Victoria's.

"Victoria," I said coolly.

"Nate," she mouthed back to me, as she shuffled the deck of cards.

"Blake, you're not old enough to drink beer," I said with superiority.

"I know!" he scowled.

Ian spoke up. "Awww….it's just beer."

"Ian, I would appreciate it if you would not usurp my authority."

Ian cracked open a bottle of beer. "Fine!" He raised the beer to his lips and chugged half of the bottle down.

Victoria cracked a smile.

I looked at Rachel. "He's your responsibility."

Rachel knew of my recent woes. I was sure she wouldn't make light of the situation.

"Don't worry, Nate. I won't let him drink. Besides, he has school in the morning, so he'll be going to bed early," she said with an evil grin.

I left the gameroom and headed back up to the house. I played a game of chess with Uncle George. By the time we finished, it was getting late. I walked Uncle George back to the cave, but we stopped off at the bunkhouse because Uncle George needed to use the bathroom. I seized the opportunity to check on Ian and his entourage. The beer bottles were lined up on the table. Ian was well on his way to getting obliterated. Wanda hated when Ian drank. I thought about the fact that the honeymoon cottage would be ice cold by the time Wanda returned and dragged her inebriated husband home. He would most likely not be in any shape to build a fire.

I walked George to the cave and continued on to the house. Just as I had suspected, the fire was out and the house was cold. I rekindled the fire and brought in enough wood to last the night. Once I knew the fire wouldn't go out, I wrote a quick note. It said,

Ian was a little inebriated. I didn't want you to freeze.

Nate

I walked back to the cave. I couldn't help myself. I checked Victoria's room to see if she had returned. The room was dark and quiet. She was still out, playing poker, drinking, hanging on Blake. I went back to my room, drank a beer, climbed into my bed, and promptly fell asleep.

12


	66. Chapter 66

**A long time coming, I know. Vacation seems to have had a calming influence on me. Yesterday I had a conversation with a crab. It was a rather large sand fiddler crab. He didn't run into his hole as they usually do. Instead, he and I faced each other, four feet apart, and I talked to him. I'd swear he was listening. The best part was he didn't offer any opinions, or judgment…he just listened. Eventually, I thanked him and walked away. The funny thing is I do want to talk….to the right person. **

**Maybe that person is you.**

**I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

INDECISION

12/17/02 – I had a strange dream this morning. I dreamt that Wanda and Ian broke up and she came to me. We ran away together and went to live with my mother. She had a beautiful cabin in the woods. It was built into a hill, and it was covered with ivy. The cabinets were full of food. We could have lived there for a long time.

In my dream, I led Wanda into the house. I kissed my mother on the cheek. She smiled and left the building without a word. During the entire dream, there were no words spoken. I undressed her. Her body was petite, and yet extremely beautiful. Her breasts were small and firm, very much like Victoria's. I kissed the nape of her neck. It was creamy white and soft. I thought of Priscilla's hand when I held it on our walks in the woods. It was like that. She smelled like a cross between baby powder and gardenias. She grabbed my face and pulled me to her painted ruby red lips.

I woke up with a hard-on. Why is it I can never get to finish a dream like that? It's almost as if my mind wouldn't allow to me enjoy the pleasure of having her. I am betrayed on all fronts.

Last night, I left Ian and Victoria in the game room playing cards and sucking down bottles of beer. I have no idea how long after I left that Victoria went to bed. I only know that after I went to the cottage and built a fire for the newlyweds, Tori still had not returned to the cave. I don't know what time Wanda and Sunny returned from their little trip or if everything is in order this morning. I suppose I should check on that.

I got up, dressed, and headed for the house. There was a crowd milling about due to the baby. I walked in, and Rachel intercepted me.

"Ian passed out!" she exclaimed.

"What do you mean, 'Ian passed out'?"

"I don't know. He and Wanda were in the bathroom, and she yelled out to get Doc. Kyle ran in there along with Burns. Jared took off to get Doc. When they came out, Kyle said that Ian was okay."

"Where's Burns?"

"I don't know, but Kyle is in the kitchen."

"Thanks, darlin'." I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

I immediately headed for the kitchen. Kyle was there, just as Rachel had said. He was sitting at the kitchen table with Jared talking about the return trip to the caverns. I approached them, and they both stopped talking.

"What happened to Ian this morning?"

Kyle answered. "He had an anxiety attack. Can I talk to you for a few minutes—outside?"

"Sure."

Kyle excused himself and rose from his seat. I followed him out the front door to the porch. He turned to me. "Ian and Wanda have been going through a rough patch and it seems that you are at the center of the argument."

"Me? What did I do?"

"Did you build a fire at the house last night?"

"Yeah, but Ian was drinking himself into a stupor, and Wanda wasn't back from her trip with Sunny. I just figured I'd be nice and make sure they didn't go home to a cold house."

"Well, Ian apparently pitched a fit because he took it as a sign that you were still trying to woo his wife."

"That's crazy."

"Did you and Victoria break up?"

"Yes, but…" It had dawned on me that, yesterday, I had tormented Ian about the fact that Wanda was the woman I wanted to be with. While it was true, he couldn't see that I wouldn't deliberately sabotage their relationship.

"Ian told me this morning that he wants to return to the caverns with us tomorrow. I know for a fact that he would rather not leave the mountain, so for him to come to that resolution, he must be pretty damn nervous."

"I was in a mood myself, yesterday. I may have alluded to the fact that I am still in love with Wanda."

"Why do you do that shit? Ian may look like a big, strong, tough guy, but he is much more cerebral and emotional than you realize."

I thought those were some mighty deep words coming from Kyle, who always appeared to be a big, dumb asshole in my eyes. I had forgotten that Kyle had gone to college as well. "I guess that going away for a few months might be a good thing. I hate seeing them go, but it might give me the time to separate myself from them as well."

Kyle placed his hand on my shoulder. "Believe me; I understand how easy it is to love Wanda. If it wasn't for Sunny, I may have made a play for her myself."

"I thought you _did_ make a play for her."

"Nah, Wanda and I have always been friends. There's been a little tension between us, now and then, when we were on the road, but I was merely an Ian fix for her. We never crossed any lines, and I'm glad we never did—since we're brother and sister now." He smiled.

A thought crossed my mind. "Do you think Ian would mind if I gave Wanda a Christmas gift?"

"It's not a ring, right?"

"No, but it _is_ jewelry."

"I don't know, man."

"Look, it was something I was going to give to her a long time ago when I thought that she and I had a chance. I considered giving it to Victoria, but we've broken up, and the watch was really bought for Wanda. It should go to her."

"Just be mindful of Ian's emotions when you give it to her."

"Sure."

I spent the rest of the afternoon with Burns. He was going to drive one of the vehicles back to the caverns and spend a few days with Lily before coming back to the mountain. Maria got together with us. I figured if we did a quick inventory, we could get a food list together, and he could shop for much needed food on the way back. We were low on supplies, and I didn't want my clan to go without in the case of heavy snow. I also thought he could purchase a few things for the ladies in my life for Christmas. I told him I would give him a list in the morning before he left. I knew I wanted to make sure I got something for Victoria, regardless of our dating status. I still loved her, even if I didn't admit it. I also wanted to give something to Gina, who still garnered a portion of my heart. Then there was my family, Kim and Priscilla and Uncle George. The last three people that I wanted to include on my list were Maria, Rachel, and Sarah. I knew that Jamie had asked Burns to get him a bracelet for Megan, and I thought that Sarah might be jealous that she didn't have a boyfriend to spoil her, too.

The game room was crowded that night. I played a few games of pool with Jared, who was taking a much needed break from being the supportive father. Victoria played pool with Ian and the usual gang. Wanda hung with Melanie at the house with the baby. I considered going there, but with Ian already in a fragile state over my uncertain relationship with Wanda, I thought it best to stay where he could see me. I even offered to walk Victoria back to the cave, which she accepted. We walked in silence in the cold night. It was as if we were both waiting for the other to offer an apology. By the time we got to her room, she turned to me.

"Where do we stand, Nate?"

"I don't know."

"Do you love me?"

"I don't know." I was being honest.

"What _do_ you know?"

"I know I miss you."

"That's just friggin' awesome," she said sarcastically.

I drew in a deep breath. "Look, I don't know where we stand or even what I feel for you. I miss spending time with you, but I don't miss the constant arguing. I don't want to spend the night with you, but I would like to kiss you good-night as I sign that I still care."

"Gee, don't do me any favors."

"Come on, Victoria. Why do you have to be such a…"

"Such a what? Bitch?"

"I'm trying to salvage our relationship here."

"By calling me a bitch?"

"_I didn't call you a bitch!_"

"You wanted to!"

"_I wanted to kiss you good night!"_

She folded her arms across her chest. "Fine!"

"I can't kiss you when you have your arms blocking me like that."

She let her arms drop to her sides. She was still posturing in defense mode. I stepped closer and curled my finger under her chin. "I hope you sleep well," I said calmly, and then I leaned into her lips. Her response was sluggish for the first few seconds, but as I pushed my tongue past her lips, she finally kissed me back. The kiss was familiar and comfortable. It easily could have led to more, but I stopped after a good long minute. "I should go. I have to be up early to see Jeb's people off."

"And Wanda," she remarked.

I ignored the remark. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Right." She still wasn't being very receptive.

I leaned in one more time and kissed her full on with lots of passion. She ended up wrapped around my neck, and I had to peel her off of me.

"Good-night."

She looked disappointed as I walked away. I couldn't be with her tonight. My mind was on Wanda. Plus, I couldn't handle another fight involving our sex life right now. I went to my room and wrote up my Christmas list for Burns.

In the morning, I went to Victoria's room to retrieve her for breakfast, but she was already gone. Upon entering the house, I saw that Blake had beaten me to it. They were seated next to each other at the dining room table eating breakfast. I made the executive decision not to intervene. If she wanted me, she knew where I was. I went about my day helping people get their things together and packing up the vehicles.

That evening at dinner, I wanted to sit with Ian and Wanda, but their table was already full. I sat with Burns and Lily, Ice and Heidi, and Nadine. I noticed that Victoria was sitting with Rachel, Rob, and Blake. It seemed to me that the writing was on the wall. I wanted to do something, but I wasn't sure what, and right now my thoughts were focused on Wanda. Everyone was a buzz about our cavern family leaving in just a few short hours. Some had become good friends. I looked over at Maria and Jeb. I wondered if their friendship had progressed during this trip. Maria did say that she could possibly fall in love with Jeb. I also noticed that Doc seemed to have a lot to talk about with Max and Miranda. Even Ice's girl, Heidi, spent a lot of time with Nadine.

As we finished up our dinner, I gathered my courage and approached Wanda's table. It was a family affair with Kyle and Sunny and Ian's parents.

"Hi."

"Hi."

I looked at Ian warily before I spoke. I focused on Wanda's face. "Wanda, I wanted to give you this a long time ago—but— things didn't go my way. So, I decided I would give it to you for Christmas. Since you are not going to be here, I thought I'd give it to you now."

I handed her a small, oblong-shaped, gift wrapped box.

She looked nervous when she saw the box. "Nate, you shouldn't have."

"Go ahead, open it."

"Now?"

"Please," I implored.

She looked at Ian. He was silent, and he looked uncomfortable, but not surprised. I figured that Kyle may have mentioned my plans to him and urged him not to get upset in front of Wanda and the others. He nodded his approval.

She tore the wrapping off the box and opened it. My heart was pounding, but it didn't drown out the gasp that escaped her lips when she saw it. It was a watch, but not just any watch. It was a Bvlgari Alveare. "Oh, Nate! This is too much!" Her voice cracked as she spoke.

"When I saw it, I knew it was meant for you," I explained.

"I can't take this." She knew. She knew the uniqueness of the watch, and the price it fetched in the days of dollars and cents.

"I can't take it back. Please, it was purchased especially for you."

"Oh, Nate. Thank you!" She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. It felt good to have her up against me. I envied Ian. "I'll treasure it always," she said softly.

I could see that Ian was taken aback by the sudden burst of emotion. I needed to soften the blow. "Well, it's not like it's a house or anything." I looked at Ian, and he sighed.

Wanda took the watch out of the box and slipped it onto her wrist. "It's beautiful."

"Like you." I couldn't help myself. She hugged me again. "I'll miss the both of you while you are gone. It's going to be a long, cold winter."

"You have Victoria," Ian remarked. He knew of my woes with Victoria. I could only assume that he was trying to reassure Wanda that I would be fine.

"For now. She and Blake get closer every day. It's only a matter of time before…" I trailed off.

"I thought you didn't love her," she said barely above a whisper.

"I don't. It's just nice having someone when you really need it." I forced a smile at Ian.

Ian spoke up. "Well, when we get back, I'll be putting you right back to work."

"I know you will. You, sir, are a workaholic." My smile was genuine. "Maybe in the spring, we should start up a construction company. You, me, and Burns. We could call it 'Three Guys Construction'."

Ian laughed. "Sounds like a plan."

Later, as I watched each member of the caverns claim their spot in the back of the truck and the van, I hugged each one good-bye and invited them to return any time.

I saved Wanda and Ian for last because I knew they would be the hardest to see go. Wanda cried when she hugged me good-bye. She promised to call me whenever she was "out and about." I smiled the whole time, but inside I was dying. When the vehicles pulled out of sight, I hightailed it back to my room and climbed into bed. I was miserable because I already missed her terribly.

I had a restless night. By six AM, I decided that I needed to have a positive outlook , or I'd drive myself insane. I still had my clan here, and for the most part, they loved me. Christmas was only a week away. I got up and went to Gina and Evan's room. Normally, I would have gone to Burns or Ian for help, but with the two of them gone, I decided to utilize Evan. I figured I could get him fired up about Christmas once I reminded him that Gina hadn't had a Christmas in seven years.

"Nate!" he said in surprise. "Is something wrong?" I couldn't help but look past him to see Gina sitting up in bed with the blanket pulled up to cover her naked body. When she saw me, she let the blanket slip, exposing her naked breasts. The excitement of seeing her marvelous tits registered immediately in my pants. I hadn't been with Gina since her birthday, and that seemed like a million years ago. I yearned to touch her again.

"Nate?" Evan said, pulling my attention back to him. He turned to see what I was staring at just as Gina pulled the blanket in place.

"Um, can I talk to you for a minute?"

He looked confused. "Me?" I guess he thought I was here to talk to Gina.

"Yeah, you."

He stepped from the room into the passageway. He was wearing only his boxers, and he folded his arms across his bare chest.

"Now that our visitors are gone, I thought we could prepare for Christmas. It's only a week away, you know. Have you gotten anything for Gina yet?"

"What? No."

"See? That's why I'm here. Gina hasn't had a Christmas in seven years. Don't you want to give the girl you love the best Christmas ever?"

"What do you get out of this?"

"Me? I get the satisfaction of giving my entire mountain family a celebration that will bring them a sense of family, and the hope that we will not perish on this earth but live on in spite of the invasion."

"So, what do you want from me?"

"Right now? I want you to get dressed and come with me into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree to put in the gameroom."

"Okay, I can do that."

"I'll meet you up at the house for breakfast. I need to find the ax. I think it's under the house."

An hour later, Evan and I were marching into the woods with ax in hand. Prior to our leaving, Victoria had been at the house waiting for her turn to shower. Blake was sitting in the living room next to her. It perturbed me because I knew he had either spent the night with her or gone to wake her this morning. He was moving in, and there was nothing I could do about it. At this point, I wasn't even sure I wanted to do anything about it. I stepped to her simply because I felt that it would be rude if I ignored her.

"Good morning. I went to your room this morning, but you were already gone."

She smiled weakly. "Blake came to me this morning and asked me if I wanted to join him for breakfast."

I nodded at Blake. "Good morning." I focused my attention back to Tori. "I'm gonna go grab breakfast, and then I have some things to do."

"Oh, okay. I'll see you later then."

"Right, later."

I practically ran to the kitchen. Maria was cooking up pancakes and sausage for the masses.

"Nathan! I thought you had gone with the others to the caverns."

"Why would you think that?"

"I didn't see you at the gameroom last night after they left. Your sister said she wouldn't be surprised if you jumped on the band wagon at the last minute. After all, Burns is coming back in a week."

"No. My family is here."

"I'm glad you feel that way. Would you like some breakfast?"

"Absolutely." I approached her and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks for not abandoning me."

I grabbed a cup of coffee and leaned back against the counter. "I'm going to take Evan with me to get a Christmas tree."

"That's wonderful. It will be good to keep everyone in this positive frame of mind."

"I was wondering if you could do me a favor while I'm gone."

"What do you need?"

"Would you get Tom to climb up in the attic and get the Christmas decorations?"

"Of course, I will."

I snuggled up to her. "And maybe cook up some popcorn to string?" At that moment, Victoria entered the kitchen. She stopped and stared at me as my head rested a little too comfortably on Maria's chest.

"That's disgusting."

I couldn't help but smile. "Jealous?"

"Why should I be? It's not like we're a couple."

Maria shot me a look. She had obviously heard the rumors. I thought it unfair that she would attack me now—here—in front of Maria. It left me with not much to say. If I struck back, it would mean the end of our relationship with a witness to boot. If I sucked up, then once again, Victoria would have the upper hand. I took a moment to think about what I wanted to say.

"That has not been established, and it is not something I prefer to discuss with you right now. I would, however, like to see you this evening after dinner, if it is convenient for you." I didn't sound like a boyfriend but rather as a businessman, looking to make a deal.

"I don't want to see you to end our relationship."

I pulled my lips into a tight line and approached her. I kissed her on the lips briefly. "It is not my intention to end things." The truth was I didn't know what I wanted right now. I enjoyed having sex with her, but I was tired of being her boyfriend. I felt like I didn't have the commitment, and seeing the way she behaved with Blake; neither did she.

Evan entered the kitchen. "I'm starving. What's for breakfast?" he asked.

"Both of you sit right down," Maria instructed. "I've got sausage and pancakes coming right up. Tori, I know you've already eaten, but you can sit next to Nathan and keep him company if you like."

"I'm waiting for my turn in the bathroom," she replied.

"Of course, you are. I wouldn't want you to miss a few precious moments with the man you love so you can shower," Maria retaliated.

The words stung, as they were meant to.

"Um, well, Rachel only just went in a few minutes ago. I suppose I could hang out."

Maria shot me a look. The look that said, "Don't screw this up."

I took Maria's cue. "It would be nice to have you sit here with me."

Victoria angled into the seat next to me. "What are you doing today, anyway?"

I put my arm around her neck. "I am going with Evan to chop down the perfect Christmas tree because it has come to my attention that there are four people who have joined our community this year that haven't had a Christmas in a long time."

Her eyes widened. "Christmas?"

"Yes, even though the majority of us on the mountain have given up the religious aspect of the holiday, we still celebrate it as a victory for the humans who remain after the invasion and as a time of peace and joy for our community. We give gifts to those we care about, and the ladies prepare a traditional Christmas dinner."

"How do you get the gifts you give?"

"Well, some make their gifts, like Aunt Sue. She crochets and knits, so she often makes socks, scarves, mittens, or throw blankets as gifts. She usually starts in the fall. Some people bake cookies or breads and give those out. As for me, I use my friend Burns to fill my Christmas list."

"What about me? I want to give gifts!"

"Burns will call me before he leaves the caverns next week. I'll let you talk to him. He can probably help you out, provided your list is not too long."

"It's not. There are only a few people on the list."

I squeezed her. "Do you want to know what I want for Christmas?"

"No! You're not on my list!"

"I'm not?" I tried not to sound too disappointed.

"No, there are only three people on my list, and each of them will be having their first Christmas. I wouldn't want them to go without gifts."

"Danny, Gina, and Holly."

"Right. Oh, and I can bake my special Christmas fudge!" She pulled my arm off of her and bounced out of her chair. "Maria, would you help me? I have so much to do!" She began ripping open the cabinets searching for the ingredients she needed. I laughed at her enthusiasm. Maria served us our breakfast, and we ate our pancakes with gusto. By the time we finished, Gina entered the kitchen. Victoria rushed to her. "Did you know we are having Christmas?" She reminded me of a child at that moment. Her eyes were like saucers. Gina stared at her.

"I had heard something about it a while back."

"I didn't know! You want to make fudge with me?"

"Sure." Gina looked at me and shrugged her shoulders.

We finished our breakfast and donned our winter gear. Gina sailed across the kitchen to kiss her man good-bye. Tori had her head in the refrigerator looking for something. I cleared my throat in an effort to get a response from Tori.

"Oh, right," she said cheerfully. "Good luck. Bring home a nice tree!"

No kiss and it seemed no present. I trudged out of the house with Evan. We didn't get very far before he started asking questions.

"Gina told me that you and Tori broke up. Is that true?"

"Not officially," I replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know. We are both questioning our relationship."

"Huh."

"What's the 'huh' for?"

"Well, since you and Victoria started seeing each other, me and Gina have been going strong."

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying I don't want you to screw up my relationship if you break up with Victoria."

"If your relationship with Gina is as strong as you say it is, then it shouldn't matter who I'm with."

"I know, but for some reason, you always seem to creep into an otherwise great relationship and cause friction. I heard Ian had the same complaint, and that's why he made Wanda go back to the caverns with him."

"Okay, first of all, Wanda and Ian are married, and although I feel much love for Wanda, my goal in life is not to mess up their relationship or anyone else's for that matter. Ian and Wanda went back to the caverns because he made a promise to her to spend the winters there and the summers here. They will both be back in the spring. You can count on that. As for Gina, I love her, too. I always will. She's a very special girl who deserves someone who can love her unconditionally. Unfortunately, I am not that person. I only hope that you are. As for Victoria, we both realized that we love other people, and we are using each other as a rebound of sorts. We love each other, but I'm not sure if it's enough to withstand a long term relationship. Is there anything else you want to know?" I was clearly aggravated by this time, and my animated tirade showed it.

"No, would you like me to carry the ax?"

I looked at him and grinned. "Maybe later."

Evan and I returned to the gameroom with a beautiful eight foot blue spruce pine tree. The word had spread, and half of the population had already gathered in the gameroom in anticipation of the tree. Some were stringing popcorn. Some were lining up the Christmas decorations. As Evan and I entered the building carrying the tree, I immediately noticed Victoria. She was drawing a poster sized picture of Santa and his sleigh. Gina and Kim were standing on chairs pinning up gold garland along the walls. Everyone seemed to be in a festive mood.

As we entered and the crowd realized we had brought the tree, a cheer went up. Evan turned to me.

"I feel like a hero, and all we did was cut down a tree!"

"Sometimes, that's all it takes," I replied.

As we set the tree on the floor, I turned around and found myself face to face with Victoria. She wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I love you!" she gushed.

I smiled. "Good to know."

She looked hurt. "Don't you love me?"

I didn't think now was a good time to admit doubt, so I went with the flow. "Of course, I do." There. I admitted loving her without actually saying it.

"Then kiss me," she demanded.

"Are you sure?" It was legitimate question. Yesterday, she didn't really want to kiss me at all. Now, she was asking me to show her my love in front of half the clan.

"Nate, you are so stupid!"

A smile immediately crossed my face. As I kissed her, I thought of happier times between us: times when Victoria's seemed innocence was refreshing to me, times when our friendship meant so much to us that we were both leery to take it further. It was at this moment that I realized my dilemma. I did love Victoria as a friend, and now that we had crossed that line, if we broke up, my biggest fear was that it would be ugly and our friendship, which is what I really valued would be destroyed. For me, the kiss took on a more desperate meaning. I caressed her face with my cold hand. It was covered with pine sap, and my tacky fingers stuck to her smooth face. She pulled back.

"Nate! You're all sticky!"

I chuckled. "I'm sorry. Maybe we should go to the bunkhouse and wash you off."

She touched her face. "Yeah."

She wasn't wearing a coat, so I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her to my chest as we walked at a quick pace from the gameroom to the bunkhouse. I accompanied her to the bathroom. I washed my hands in the sink. The sticky goo wasn't coming off.

"Babe, I'm not sure I can get this off."

"Here, let me help you," she said. She took the soap in her hands and began to wash my hands. She massaged them, and to my surprise, I felt my dick getting hard. It had been a while since we actually had sex if you didn't count the partial blow job from the other day. I stared at her face as she slowly removed the sticky goo. She looked up at me, and I suppose my face transmitted the emotions I was feeling. She turned to me with the water still running and placed her wet hands on my chest. She kissed me quickly—once, twice, three times. I pulled off my coat and let it fall to the ground. I grabbed her sticky face, and my lips were upon her. I was almost vicious with my lips. My tongue entered her mouth and played a game of cat and mouse with hers. All of my apprehensions about having a relationship were put on hold due to my blatant need for sex.

I kissed her long, sinewy neck as my hands tugged her shirt up.

"Nate, not in the bathroom," she murmured.

"One of the bedrooms is empty." I grabbed her hand and tugged her toward the bedroom that Mel and Jared had shared with…_oh, who the hell was it?_ No matter, the room was empty. I began taking off my clothes. I felt frustrated that I was wearing so much. It seemed like it was taking forever to peel off the flannel shirt followed by the long sleeve thermal and the T-shirt underneath it all. Of course, I was wearing my work boots which meant untying and struggling to pull my foot out. I was wearing two pairs of socks; one of those was the kind hunters wear. All the while, I was praying that she wouldn't change her mind and decide against what we were about to do or worse—give me a blow job to shut me up. I chuckled to myself at the thought of not wanting a blow job. Hell, Victoria had become quite proficient at the art of sucking and licking. Proficient wasn't the word I really wanted to use, but my brain was in overdrive. I wanted her, and right now, even if she tried to back out, I was afraid I might take her anyway.

I finally got to my pants, which thankfully, there was only one of. As I pulled them from my hips, I looked up at her, and she was just standing there staring at me with a smile on her face.

"What?"

"Are you running out of clothes yet?"

I gave the only response that made sense at that moment. "You are so stupid!"

She burst out laughing.

"Were you planning on taking off your clothes, or were you just going to watch me parade around with a raging hard on?"

"I thought part of the fun was you getting to take off my clothes."

At this point, I was completely naked. I walked to her and pulled her shirt up over her head and tossed it on the floor.

"You know I want the full treatment," she demanded.

I grinned. "As you wish, milady."

And I did. I gave her everything she asked for, and by the time we emerged from the bunkhouse, the tree had been erected and decorated. Victoria's face fell when she entered and realized that she had missed out on decorating the tree.

I apologized because I felt like I should. "I'm sorry, Xena."

"It's okay, I guess."

At that moment, Gina rushed across the room. She was holding a box of pretty teardrop shaped ornaments in red and gold. "Where were you?"

"We were discussing Tori's living situation now that the bunkhouse is devoid of visitors," I replied without alluding to the hour of sex we had.

"Well, I saved this box of ornaments for you two," Gina said cheerfully.

Tori's eyes lit up. "That's so sweet of you, Gina!" She lunged forward and hugged her. Gina looked over Tori's shoulder at me and smiled.

Once again, Gina had done something awesome for my sake. I had just had much needed sex with someone I cared deeply about, and yet, here was Gina, once again reminding me that she was the one I should have stayed with. Gina was so giving and caring. I had to walk away. _Fuck! _I hated feeling like this. Evan certainly didn't deserve her. Then again, who was I to think that I deserved her?

Victoria came up behind me and tugged on my arm. "Will you help me put these ornaments on the tree?"

I forced a smile. "Of course, I will."

12


	67. Chapter 67

**I know your somewhere out there**

**Somewhere far away**

**I want you back**

**I want you back**

**My neighbors think I'm crazy**

**But they don't understand**

**You're all I had**

**You're all I had**

**At night, when the stars light up my room**

**I sit by myself**

**Talking to the moon**

**Trying to get to you**

**In hopes you're on the other side**

**Talking to me, too**

**Or am I a fool**

**Who sits alone**

**Talking to the moon**

**~Bruno Mars**

TALKING TO THE MOON

12/24/02 – I haven't had a chance to write because it was has been a very busy week. Burns came back the day before yesterday. He was out most of yesterday shopping. I think he had mixed emotions about it. As a man, shopping is not exactly his favorite thing to do, but so many people were counting on him, including me, that I think he tried extra hard to make sure he filled everyone's requests. He was gone for ten hours. I gave him my list which included a new fishing pole for him, although the list indicated that it was for my brother-in-law, Tom.

I'll be spending the majority of my morning wrapping the gifts I have for everyone which, with the exception of Burns and Uncle George, are all for girls.

Victoria and I have been doing okay—I guess. She's been unusually sweet and attentive. We don't talk about Wanda, or Gina, or Blake, or her ghost boyfriend, Stephen. She's managed to get me to play poker in Ian's place. I don't particularly care for the game, but I can keep an eye on Blake. He's really learned the art of flirting. I don't know how many times I've rolled my eyes at some cute comment he's thrown Victoria's way. For example: the other might he alluded to the fact that I was the evil King of Spades and Victoria was the beautiful Queen of Hearts who was under a spell. He, being the Jack of Diamonds, needed to rescue her from my clutches and show her the light. She thought it was cute and giggled. I wanted to puke.

She's only spent one night in the last week with me here in the cave. She's very happy in her newly acquired room in the bunkhouse. She said she loves the warmth. I spent a night with her in the bunkhouse, and I have to admit it was quite cozy. She invited me to spend tonight with her since it is Christmas Eve.

I like spending time with Victoria. My problem is I've been a bit preoccupied with Gina lately. She seems subdued. Gina is one of those people who is bubbly when she's happy, and since the day she saved the Christmas ornaments for Victoria to put on the tree, I have not seen that. Something's bothering her, and I don't know what it is, and so I worry. My worrying makes me think of her, and feelings have surfaced that I had managed to suppress since her birthday.

I suppose I should get up. Rob and I are supposed to go out and find a Yule log. We don't have a fireplace, but we've dug a fire pit between the two new buildings, so we can sing carols and have a kind of mass for those who still carry religion in their hearts. I personally have never been much on religion, but I attend out of respect for the others.

This is the one time of year when Burns gets visitors from town. Usually, it is some of the elders from town who remember Burns's parents and come by to offer Burns good tidings. They generally don't stay long since Burns is not very talkative to any of them. It's more like they bring him a bunt cake, and he offers them a cup of tea. They eat cake and drink the tea and attempt to make awkward conversation. A half hour later they are on their merry way feeling like they have done a good deed. As a result, the clan is not allowed within fifty feet of the house with the exception of Maria and Aunt Sue who cook the Christmas dinner.

One year, a middle aged couple showed up unexpectedly, and Maria and Aunt Sue had to hide under the house until they were gone. Burns had to explain that he liked to cook and saved the leftovers for future meals. They practically invited themselves to stay for dinner, but thankfully a phone call from a relative asking them to visit sent them away. Maria and Aunt Sue nearly froze under the house with no coats. After that, we began putting coats and blankets under the house, just in case.

There was a knock on the door. I closed my journal and rose from the bed to answer it. I pulled on my jeans. I didn't want a repeat of me in my skivvies if it turned out to be Maria. There was another knock, this one more urgent than the last. I grabbed my flannel shirt and slid my arm into the sleeve as I rushed to open the door. Gina burst into the room and threw herself at me. She wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Oh, Nate!" She started to cry.

I instinctively wrapped my arms around her. "Gina, what's wrong?"

"Me and Evan had a fight!" she blubbered.

I pulled back and brushed the hair out of her face. "What did you fight about?"

She sniveled and took a deep breath. "I asked him what he wanted for Christmas and he said a ba—by." Her voice hitched, and she started to cry again.

"What did you say to him?"

"I told him I wasn't ready for a baby." Her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath.

"And?" I asked, pulling her chin up, so she would look at me.

"He said I was just putting him off because I don't want to have a baby with him. He—he said I'm holding out because I want to have your ba—by."

I pulled Gina into my arms and held her tight. She felt good against my body. My brain instantly hoped that he would dump her. Then I could take her for myself and I wouldn't care if she never had a baby. I turned her in the direction of the bed. I don't know what I was thinking…or even expecting for that matter.

"You have to tell him the truth." I said calmly.

I didn't see Tori standing in the doorway because my back was now toward the door.

"What truth?" Tori blurted out. "Are you sleeping with her?"

I immediately released Gina and spun around to face Tori. A moment ago, I was wishing that I could sleep with Gina, and I'm pretty sure the guilt was written all over my face. Before I could deny the allegation, Victoria exploded.

"You son-of-a-bitch!"

"Victoria, I'm not sleeping with her!" I said in my defense.

"Bullshit!"

"I swear! Ask Gina!"

Gina just stood there like a deer in headlights; tears streaming down her cheeks.

Victoria placed her hands on her hips. "Then what is the secret she needs to tell Evan?"

Gina's eyes fixated on mine, and she shook her head indicating to me that her secret was to be kept just that, a secret. There was silence in the room as Victoria waited for some sort of explanation.

Finally, Victoria blurted out, "Oh, for Christ's sake. I am so over this. Go fuck her brains out. I'm done.

"Victoria," I pleaded as she stormed out of the room. I followed her into the hall which was stupid because at this point, my heart wasn't into it. I grabbed her by the arm to stop her.

"Don't touch me!" she screeched.

"Victoria, you're being stupid. All I was doing was comforting a friend."

"Then why can't you tell me you little secret?"

"Because it's not my secret to tell."

"Fine. Then go back to your little secret, and I'll go make my own secrets."

"Victoria, knock it off. I'm getting fed up with your attitude."

"Fuck you," she hissed.

At this point, I was as frustrated as she was. "You know what? Fuck you, too," I growled.

She pivoted on her heels and slapped me across the face—hard.

My immediate reaction was to slap her back. I raised my hand, but I caught myself.

"Go ahead. Do it!" she taunted me.

I took a deep breath. I leaned toward her face and spoke in a very controlled voice. "I didn't cheat on you." I turned and went back into the room. I shut the door gently. Gina was sitting on the edge of my bed clutching my pillow to her chest.

"I'm sorry, Nate. I didn't mean to break up your relationship with Victoria."

"To tell you the truth, our relationship has been shaky for a while." I sat next to her, and I wiped the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs. "I've been thinking about you."

"Yeah?"

"Uh huh."

"You told me I would never be number one in your life."

"Maybe I'm rethinking my views."

At that moment, there was knock on the door.

"You'd better get it. It's probably Victoria. Maybe she's rethinking her options."

I nodded and stood up. I walked slowly to the door. I purposely buttoned up my shirt. I didn't want to give Victoria another reason to bitch at me. I swung the door open.

Evan was standing there, and he looked right past me to Gina.

"Gina, can we talk?"

"What is there to talk about? You seem to have it in your head that I'm saving myself for Nate."

"Baby, please, I don't want to lose you."

"I'm talking to Nate right now," she said bravely.

I turned my attention back to Evan. He looked so pathetic.

"Gina, go back to your boyfriend. I'll catch up with you later."

"Are you sure? What about Victoria?" Her concern for me was obvious.

"C'est la vie, cheri."

Gina rose from her perch and approached me. She gave me a heartfelt hug. "I can talk to her if you want."

"Sure," I replied rather unenthusiastically.

"I'll see you later? I have a present for you," she said with a smile.

It made me smile to know that she hadn't forgotten me. "I have a present for you, too."

I kissed her on the forehead, and she stepped away.

I sighed as I shut the door. I yearned for Gina. I may have broken up with Victoria. The question now was did I want to make up with Tori? I mean she had no reason to suspect that anything was going on between Gina and me. It almost seemed like she was looking for a reason to start a fight.

I decided to talk to Maria. She was the voice of reason—and a woman. Maybe she could make heads or tails of my relationship.

I finished getting dressed and headed to the house. I knew everyone would be gathering in the gameroom for breakfast since the house would be off limits at noon. I figured Maria would probably be holed up in the house cooking.

Sure enough, Maria and Aunt Sue were in the kitchen preparing breakfast to be served to the masses in the gameroom. They were cooking up French toast and sausage. Maria smiled at me when I entered the kitchen.

"Nathan, good morning. Are you here to help transport the food to the gameroom?"

"Absolutely. Is Burns up yet?"

"Yes. He's in the shower."

"Good." I paused. "Do you think I could talk to you a bit after breakfast?"

"Sure." She looked at me and responded immediately. "What's wrong?"

I sighed. "I don't know."

"We'll talk—right after breakfast."

"Okay."

Burns entered the kitchen after a few minutes.

"Good morning, Nate!" He was in a good mood.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Are you kidding? Look at all the blessings I have. My family is safe and growing. I have a fantastic girlfriend who loved the necklace I gave to her for Christmas. My best friend is with me even if looks down in the dumps. What could be better?"

I smiled weakly. "I guess when you look at it that way, it _is_ a good morning. Should we bring the coffee and juice to the gameroom?"

"Already done. Tom was up early. We've already brought the plates, silverware, cups, coffee, juice, and pancake syrup. All we need now is the sausage and French toast."

"We're workin' on it!" Aunt Sue declared.

"Why don't you take a shower?' Burns suggested. "The bunkhouse shower is going to be slammin'."

"I didn't bring any clothes."

"You still have some of your clothes in my room." I followed Burns to his bedroom. "So, what's eating you?"

"I had another fight with Victoria."

"You know, you two fight more times in a week than Lily and I have in six months."

"You've only been seeing each other for six months."

"It's been seven months, which by the way is longer than you've been seeing Victoria."

"Whatever."

"The point is Lily and I have only had two arguments that I can recall."

"Oh yeah? I bet if I asked Lily, she'd be able to remember lots of arguments. They remember everything, and even worse, they forget nothing."

"What the hell did you fight about?"

"Gina came to my room this morning because she and Evan had a fight."

"Jesus, what is there a full moon? I'm glad Lily's not here."

"No shit. I was trying to console Gina, and of course, Tori walked up on us and immediately made assumptions."

"Yeah, Tori's definitely got a grudge when it comes to Gina, especially after you slept with her on her birthday."

Burns triggered the memory of the last time I was intimate with Gina. In my mind's eye, I could see her perfect breasts that accentuated her shapely hips. _Shit! I'm a fucking idiot!_

"Nate, did you hear me?"

Burns pulled me from my daydream. "What?"

"I asked you if you were still planning on giving Tori the necklace you had me buy for her."

"I don't know. She didn't get anything for me."

"Why do you think she didn't get anything for you?"

"She told me she was only getting gifts for three people, and none of those people were me."

"You're wrong."

"Well, that's what she told me."

"I had her shopping list, remember?"

"She got me a gift?"

"Yep, it wasn't expensive in terms of value, but there was meaning behind the gift."

"What is it?"

He grinned. "Like I'm going to tell you."

"Great. Should I go make up with her?"

"Hey, that's up to you."

"Fuck," I murmured.

Burns chuckled. "You know, Victoria's a beautiful lady. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be single for long if you dumped her."

We both knew that he was referring to Blake who was waiting patiently in the wings for her to realize that he was man enough to bed her.

"What do you think I should do?"

"I think you should follow your heart."

"Great. Then I'd be breaking up another couple."

"You are not going to break up Ian and Wanderer, and you know it."

Little did he know it was Gina's relationship that I was hoping would crumble. Right now, my heart belonged to Gina, but it seemed to me that Evan held her heart. I couldn't destroy her happiness for my own selfish needs. No. I would make up with Victoria. It was Christmas. Burns was right. Victoria was beautiful in her own right. She deserved a special Christmas after the six years she spent living in survival mode.

"No, I'm not breaking up anyone." I took the clothes from Burns and headed to the bathroom. The shower was rejuvenating. By the time I emerged from the bathroom, Maria was standing in the living room.

"It's about time! My teeth are floatin'!"

I smiled. "You could have announced that you were coming in to use the toilet. I would have stayed in the shower a little longer."

"And give you something to dream about? I don't think so!" she said with her hands on her hips.

I had to keep from laughing.

"Burns just left with the sausages. You had better hurry if you are going to deliver that French toast."

"Well, I don't know. I think I might have to go to the bedroom for a little self inflicted pleasure guest starring the beautiful Maria."

Maria turned beet red. "Only you could do this to me."

"Do what to you?" I taunted.

"Make me feel embarrassed."

"Aww, Maria, don't be embarrassed. For a middle aged woman, you are quite sexy."

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" she snapped back.

"The jury's out on that."

"Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I did, but I talked to Burns."

"So…"

"So, I'm going to see if I can get back in Gina's good graces."

"Gina?"

"I meant Tori."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Hmm. Freudian slip?"

Now it was my turn to blush.

"It's Christmas. It's her first Christmas. I won't ruin that for her."

"So your intention is to break up with her, just not today," Maria surmised.

"I thought you had to go to the bathroom."

"Oh, right. I do. If you need to talk…"

I smiled. "Thanks."

I slid into my coat, and I grabbed the tray of French toast. I walked briskly to the gameroom. Victoria was waiting outside the building, and she rushed to me.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have accused you of sleeping with Gina."

I ignored her plea. "I need to get this food inside," I replied without slowing down. Victoria held the door open for me. The gameroom was filled with hungry people obviously waiting for breakfast.

"The French toast is here!" Carl sang out.

The line had already formed. The youngsters were at the front of the line, plates in hand. I dropped the tray in the spot designated on the table and backed away quickly as the line surged forward. I backed into Victoria nearly knocking her over.

"Jesus, Tori!" I bellowed.

"I'm sorry!" she wailed.

"Go eat breakfast, will you?" I was frustrated by the morning's events. When I woke up, everything was fine, but it seemed that everything was spiraling out of control. Now, I wanted out of the relationship.

"Fine! Have it your way!" She stomped to the end of the line. I turned and left the building. I headed back to the house. I had only gone a short way when I came upon Maria coming toward me.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I was coming to see if there was anything else you needed."

"Nope. Let's go join the festivities."

"I think I'm just going to go back to my room."

Maria stopped short. "Nathan Downey! It's Christmas Eve! You are not going to hide in your room!" she scolded. "I don't know why you are in this funk, but you need to get over it. Now, get in there and make up with your girlfriend."

"Okay!" I blurted out.

Maria and I entered the building. I scanned the room and noticed Gina and Evan schmoozing with each other. I guess Gina managed to get Evan to back off on the baby thing. I didn't see Victoria right away since I was fixated on Gina, and the fact that once again, I had lost out due to my own stupidity and procrastination. Victoria was sitting with her back to the door. Blake was sitting next to her with his arms flailing in the air. He was obviously telling everyone at the table a story.

The line for the food was gone. I walked to the coffee urn and poured myself a cup. I drank half of the cup in one gulp. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Forget Wanda. Forget Gina. Tori is your girlfriend," I said quietly to myself. I refilled my coffee cup and grabbed some breakfast. With plate and coffee in hand, I approached Tori's table. Blake was sitting on her right, and Danny was to her left. I marched up to the table and stopped just behind Tori's right shoulder.

"Is there any room in your entourage for me?"

She glared over her shoulder at me. "I thought I was just in your way."

I forced a smile. "Sweetheart, I was doing a job. Now I'm done. I was hoping to spend a little time with you before my next job, but if you would rather I sit somewhere else…"

Tori turned to her brother. "Danny, move over," she said bluntly.

"Why do I have to move?" he whined. "Why can't Blake move?"

"I can just sit somewhere else," I interjected. I moved toward the only empty table in the room in the hopes that Victoria would follow me. I sat down and jammed a forkful of French toast into my mouth. Tori plopped into the chair next to me.

"It's Christmas Eve," she announced. "I don't want to fight with you."

I stared straight ahead and continued to chew my food. I swallowed and took a sip of my coffee. Then I turned to her. "So, what prompted the apology?"

"I talked to Gina."

"And?"

"And she assured me that you have been faithful to me. She told me the secret."

I sat up straight. "She told you?"

"Yes. She said that Evan has been pressuring her to have a baby, and she said she doesn't want children until _after _she's married and _after_ she gets her degree in education. She said that you talked Burns into attending an on-line college, only it will be her who is taking the courses."

Considering I had never heard this scenario before, I was quite surprised. "She told you that?"

"Yes. She said if I didn't believe her to ask Max and Miranda. She said it was their idea because she would learn so much more than they could teach her."

I glanced over at Gina. She was watching us. She knew Tori would tell me this plan, and I would have to approach Burns on the idea. I could only smile at her craftiness.

"So—we're good?"

Tori brushed a stray lock behind my ear. "We're good."

I knew I should lean in and kiss her, but instead my eyes once again settled on Gina. I could feel the pangs of lust beating in my chest. Gina rose from her seat and slipped her coat on. She smiled brightly at me and left the building.

I stared into my coffee cup. "I have to go."

"What do you mean you have to go? Are you still mad at me?"

"No, of course not. I have to go with Rob to get the Yule log."

"Yule log?"

"Yes, it's part of our tradition. We build a nice fire with a Yule log and sing carols. Then we each offer thanks for surviving another year since the invasion. Each person shares a memory from the past year with the others."

Tori looped her arm through mine. "I want to go with you—to get the Yule log."

"It's cold out there. It's supposed to snow. Sometimes it takes hours to find the perfect dead tree. Then we have to cut it and drag it back here."

"I lived in the woods, remember? I'll be fine."

"Tori…"

She placed her hand on my face. "Please?" She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine. She allowed her lips to linger on mine until I could feel the heat in the pit of my stomach. "I want to be a part of this with you."

How she did it, I don't know. All I know was the doubt I had been feeling about us all morning had suddenly been erased.

"Okay. Dress warm."

She kissed me again. This time, she opened her mouth inviting my tongue to circle hers playfully. "Thank you," she replied.

Victoria, Rob, and I were in the woods only a short while when the snow began to fall. Victoria seemed excited which confused me because she hated the snow.

"Why are you happy? I thought you hate the snow."

"This is Christmas snow. It's magical."

"How is it magical?"

"About three years ago, we were holed up in an abandoned barn on the edge of someone's property. We hadn't eaten in a day. It was Christmas Eve. The people who lived in the main house went out somewhere, probably church. My father took the opportunity to break into the house and steal some food. It wasn't a lot. Just enough to feed the three of us. It was snowing. He figured the snow would cover his tracks. It didn't. They came home and realized pretty quickly that someone had broken into the house. The father and his teenage son followed the tracks right to us. We were hiding in the hay. They found us. I thought for sure they were going to turn us in. I remember being scared to death. His son looked to be about my age. Our eyes met. The boy turned to his father. They looked at each other. Finally, his father spoke. He said, 'Tomorrow is Christmas. I'm sure the seekers would want to celebrate Christmas with their families. We'll call them the day after tomorrow.' They left us, and we took off. It started to snow again, and I guess it covered whatever tracks we may have left. We found an abandoned gas station and hunkered down for a week before we moved on. There was even some food in the cabinets of the breakroom. We could have gotten caught, but instead, it was my last Christmas with my dad and we got to eat."

My heart broke listening to her story. I kissed her forehead. "I love you," I said, and at that moment, I meant it. We found a good log about three quarters of a mile from the house. Victoria actually was a big help. We cut it to size and tied three lines to the log. With her added strength, we dragged it back to the location of the bonfire in no time. Tom and Carl were setting the fire when we arrived. The snow was falling steadily now, and I was chilled to the bone. Rob announced that he was going to the bunkhouse to take a hot shower. The Jacuzzi sounded good to me, but unfortunately, the house was off limits.

I looked at Tori. "Your room?" I suggested it only because my room was sixty six degrees, and her room was seventy four. We could have gone into the gameroom, but it was full of people, and I felt like we needed some alone time.

"Sure."

I slid my hand into hers, and we excused ourselves. We entered her room, and I shut the door. As I slid off my coat, I felt uneasy. I wasn't exactly sure why. We had been intimate nearly a hundred times in the months since the first time in the bathroom. In the past, I never felt bad about having a good time without a commitment. Today felt different. I felt like I was cheating her out of the emotions she was expecting from me. It wasn't that I didn't love her—because I did—I just wasn't _in love _with her.

"Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"I've been thinking."

"About?"

"Us."

"Please don't ask me to marry you," she blurted out.

She caught me by surprise. "What?"

"Nate, I love you, but I don't want to be married. I'm like Gina. I'm not ready to have children, and I just feel that children are the best reason to get married. You understand, don't you?"

"Yes, of course." I breathed a sigh of relief. "We've been arguing so much lately. I was afraid that it was because you wanted more of a commitment from me."

Tori walked up to me, and took me by the hands. "I was thinking we should have a good Christmas. I got you a gift. It's not much, but I thought you might need it on the nights you stay with me in the bunkhouse." Tori pulled me toward the bed and released my hands. She bent down and pulled a large wrapped rectangular item from under the bed. "Here. I hope you like it."

My eyes narrowed as she handed me the gift, which was surprisingly light for its size. "What is this?"

"Open it," she replied.

I immediately pulled off the wrapping. "It's a pillow."

"Yes. I want you to feel welcome in my room."

"That's a very thoughtful gift. Thank you."

"I hope you'll try it out tonight."

"Well, I was hoping to make love to you now. Would you still want me to stay with you tonight? I mean, I might want to make love again later on tonight."

Tori placed the back of her hand against her forehead as if in distress. "Oh my! Sex twice in one day! You cad! You bounder!"

I started to laugh.

"Hey, dollface. How about you do a striptease for me?" I was joking, but Victoria grabbed a chair and set it in the middle of the room.

"Sit," she ordered.

I raised my eyebrows, unsure of her intentions.

"Sit!" she reiterated.

I quickly untied my work boots and kicked them off. Tori did the same. I sat in the chair as Victoria unbuttoned the flannel shirt she was wearing. She dropped the shirt on the dresser and flipped on the radio she had inherited with the room. A happy song with a beat blared from the speaker. She began to move her hips seductively. She turned around and shoved her ass in my face. Tori's tiny waist only enhanced her full ass. To me, these were her best features, although I had to admit she had a pretty face, much prettier than Gina's. Tori continued her dance and slowly began stripping off her clothes. She was actually pretty good. By the time she was down to her lace bra and panties, I had a raging hard-on. I wanted to tag her right then, but she seemed to be enjoying the dance and teasing me. When she straddled me and gave me a lap dance, I grabbed her face and pulled her lips to mine. I kissed her passionately.

"This is better than the pillow," I murmured.

"I could always give the pillow to someone else—like Blake," she purred.

"Are you trying to make me jealous?"

"Is it working?"

"Just because I'm not in love with you doesn't mean I'm not jealous."

Tori stopped gyrating. "Wait, what did you say?"

_What did I say? _"I said I'm jealous."

"You said you're not in love with me."

"You're not in love with me either," I said in my defense.

"I never said that."

I continued hoping to deflate the impending argument. "You said you didn't want to get married."

"Because I don't want children, not because I don't love you!" She backed off of my lap.

"Tori, I have very strong feelings for you."

"But you don't love me." She started to cry.

"I love you as a friend."

She turned her back to me. "Go to Gina or Wanda or whoever it is that you love."

I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Let me go!" she cried.

"No. I don't want to let you go. I want to have a special Christmas with a special girl."

"If I'm so special, then why don't you love me?"

"I'll always love you. I just don't see us growing old together in the same bed. I _do _however; see us as good friends who will always be there for each other—and for now—lovers. Victoria, you hold a special place in my heart."

She buried her head in her hands and began to sob. I pulled her onto the bed and wrapped my arms around her. I held her for a few minutes, and then I pulled her face to mine. I enveloped her lips with my own. I kissed her repeatedly until she reciprocated. Once she started to kiss me back, I knew I had her.

An hour later, she lay in my arms. I caressed her hip with my fingers. "Did I satisfy you?"

"You always satisfy me."

"Good. I like it when you're happy."

"What time is it?"

"It's almost five. We should get dressed and see what's happening with the bon fire."

"I'm hungry. What is the traditional Christmas Eve dinner?"

"Roast beast."

"What?"

I laughed. "Remember _The Grinch that Stole Christmas_? For dinner, they had roast beast."

"Yeah, but what exactly is roast beast?"

"Here, on the mountain, it's roast beef. Tomorrow, we'll have turkey."

We dressed and headed out. The Yule log was burning brightly. There was two inches of snow on the ground, and it was still snowing. Some people were gathered around the fire staring at the flames. They teens were already throwing snowballs at each other. I pulled Tori close and draped my arm over her shoulder.

"I'm glad you're here," I whispered in her ear. "I never finished wrapping my gifts. I need to go back to the cave and do that if you want me to spend the night with you."

"How long will you be gone?" Tori asked.

"An hour or so."

"I'll save a place for you at my table."

I kissed her cold lips. "Don't stay out here too long."

She smiled. "I won't."

I was in my room wrapping presents. I had just finished wrapping a book that I had gotten for Gina, so my mind was on her. I was nearly finished wrapping a gift for Priscilla when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" I hollered.

The door opened and in stepped Gina. "Hey, handsome!" she said with a smile.

I sprang off the bed and pulled her into my arms. "Angel!" I hugged her tightly and savored the moment before pulling back.

"So, are you and Tori good?" she asked.

"Yes, thanks to you and your little white lie."

She stared into my eyes, and it seemed almost like she was pleading.

"You want me to talk to Burns, don't you?"

"Would you?" she replied in a little girl voice.

"What do I get out of this deal?"

"My love?" she offered, as if it were a bargaining chip.

"I thought I already had your love."

She tapped the tip of my nose with her finger. "You do."

"I'm a fool."

"Why do you say that?"

"I should have snapped you up when I had the chance."

"If I didn't think that Wanda was the girl of your dreams, I wouldn't have let you go."

"I dreamed about you last night. Does that count?"

"You lie."

"I swear!" I couldn't hold back my grin.

"Nathan!"

I brushed my fingers across her lips. "I love it when you call me Nathan."

"Nate, why are you flirting with me? I thought you and Tori made up?"

"We did—and then I said something stupid and made her cry."

"What did you say?"

"It doesn't matter. For now, we are still together." I released her and walked to the bed. "I have your gift. I'd like you to open it."

"Now?"

"Yes. I put a lot of thought into this gift. I wanted you to know how beautiful and special I think you are."

I handed her the gift, and she tore open the wrappings revealing the book.

"The Velveteen Rabbit," she said, unsure of its meaning. "It's a children's book."

"It is. It's a book about love. Open the card. There's a quote from the book I wanted you to read."

She opened the card and read it out loud.

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"_Dearest Gina,_

_To me you are the only Real person on the mountain. I will always love you even when your hair turns gray and your exquisite body shows the signs of aging because to me…you are beautiful._

_ Nate"_

By the time she finished reading the card, her voice cracked, and a huge tear slid down her cheek.

"Oh, Nate. I love you, too," she croaked. She buried her head in my chest.

I kissed the top of her head. "I want you to know that if you ever decide that Evan is not the guy for you, I'd like it if you'd give me a second chance."

"What about Wanda?" she asked.

"I can't turn off my feelings for Wanda, but I can't live my life waiting for something that is obviously not going to happen. Seeing you happy makes me happy. If Evan is what makes you happy, then I don't want to destroy that, but…"

She put her finger to my lips to stop me from talking. "The way you feel about Wanda is the way I feel about you. I want you more than anything, but I right now I need…no, I deserve someone who will put me first."

"I understand."

"I love the book, though."

I shot her a weak smile. I couldn't admit it, but I was hurt. In my heart, I hoped she would dump Evan and take me back.

"Can I ask for one thing?"

"Sure, anything."

"A single kiss."

"A Christmas kiss," she replied.

I cupped my hand under her chin and slowly tilted her head so her lips were inches from mine. I paused and stared into her eyes. Our lips met, and I felt as though someone had lit my heart on fire. My hands engulfed her face, and my lips blazed across hers. Our tongues taunted each other. I thought at any moment I would throw her down on the bed and fuck the shit out of her. Then as suddenly as it started, it was over.

"Merry Christmas," she said in a sweet voice. "I have a gift for you, but I put it under the tree. It's not as grand as this," she said as she picked up the book and the card.

"You just gave me the only gift I need."

"You're silly."

"Maybe I am, but I meant what I said before."

"I won't forget."

She backed away slowly. "I'll see you later."

"Later."

A moment later, she was gone.

14


	68. Chapter 68

**For all of you who have been eagerly awaiting the arrival of For the Love of Brynn: Book 2 – The Moment of Truth, by the time the next chapter of Nate's Diary hits FanFic, it should be available to all of you on Amazon or from me personally if you can't order from Amazon for whatever reason.**

**This is the Christmas chapter. We all have things we want for Christmas. For me, Christmas is a time of giving rather than receiving. The only thing I want is to be loved.**

**Love is funny. We find it when we aren't looking for it, and we lose it when we are desperate to keep it. **

**I never thought I would compare myself to a guy, but I definitely feel a kinship to Nate. He has love in spades, but the love he desires is the one he can't seem to get. He settles for friendship. I'd settle for that, too.**

SANTA CLAUS LIVES

12/25/2002 – Today is Christmas. A year ago I had no one. No love in my heart, and no prospects on the horizon. My greatest claim to fame in the love department was the fact that I could always count on a good time from Nadia. Now my heart is split into three, no make that four parts. The largest part belongs to Wanderer AKA Wanda, an alien whose species nearly destroyed ours when they systematically inserted themselves inside our human bodies and took over, leaving the human soul locked in a coma-like state. I don't know why I love this creature other than to say that she fascinates me, and her 'soul' is kind and vulnerable, and it just happens to be inside of a beautiful and youthful human body. She belongs to Ian, a member of another clan. Ian is strong and powerful and can sometimes be abusive when pushed. Wanderer has forgiven him his violent reactions in regards to Wanda's obvious feelings for me and strangely even, his own brother. They ended up marrying and against my better judgment, they seem reasonably happy. So, my heart is filled with love for a woman who I will most likely never know in the way a man should know the woman he loves. She accepted my Christmas gift: a watch that would rival Cartier in the world as I once knew it.

If Wanda has fifty percent of my heart, then Gina probably has thirty percent. She is the girl who gave herself to me freely since the very first day that I met her, but I was too fixated on Wanda to give her the love that she deserved. Now I am kicking myself because I have lost her to Evan. Evan is not a bad guy; he's just not me. Lately I have been finding myself daydreaming about her and her superb body, which wouldn't be a bad thing if it wasn't for the fact that I am in a relationship with Victoria, who ironically, was the person who nearly killed Ian with a single shot at fifty feet. Had he died, Wanderer would be mine right now.

I try to imagine my life without Ian in it. Believe it or not, he and I have actually become pretty good friends even though he came very close to beating me to death in a fit of jealousy. I almost died for her. I'd do it again, although not under those circumstances. I'd die to protect her. So would Ian. We'd do it together to protect the woman we both love. He's been good for the people on the mountain, too, especially the kids who look up to him as a coach and a mentor. Because of him, the game room and the bunkhouse were built. He's been pivotal to a lot of changes for my clan. The more I think about it, it is going to be a long winter without him.

Back to Victoria. I'm in her bed right now. After an emotional encounter with Gina, I pulled myself together and joined Victoria and the rest of the clan at the bon fire. She seemed very happy to have me at her side and even ignored Blake, who has had is eye on her for months, waiting for the big blowout that ends our relationship. We've had plenty of blowouts, but we always seem to hang on. Of the twenty percent of my heart that is left, Tori probably owns fifteen percent. I love the time that I spend with her; I just find myself too easily distracted by Gina when I see that she is in distress over her own relationship.

The final five percent of my heart goes to the person who actually did get pregnant with my baby, and although I've never loved her, I've always cared about her and her situation back at the mines with only her family. She has no one to love except me, so when I make my routine visits to bring much needed supplies to her family, I always give her as much of myself as she wants, and she generally wants a lot. I'm hoping to one day bring her here, so she can possibly hook up with one of the young guys here on the mountain.

This evening we will all open the presents we have gotten for each other. Victoria has already given me her gift, and I have already given Gina hers, but there are many more gifts to be given.

There is a lot to be thankful for this year. Burns has found a love, and he seems happier than I've ever seen him. This year we added six new clan members: Gina and Holly, Victoria and Danny, and Ian's parents, Maggie and Tom, as well as our part time members, Ian and Wanda.

Victoria rolled over and opened her eyes.

"Hey."

"Hey, are you writing in your diary?"

"I was, but I'm done for now."

"What time is it?"

"Early, it's eight."

"I need to go see Danny."

"He's back at the cave with his friends."

"I know. I've just never spent a Christmas without him. I feel like I should be there when he wakes up."

"I have an idea. Do you still have any of your Christmas cookies?" I had a surprise for all of the boys, and this idea would be a great segue.

"I have plenty, but they are in the kitchen at the house. Why?"

"Why don't we make some hot cocoa and bring some to the kids along with the cookies? We'll wake them up."

"But no one is allowed in the house today."

"It's eight o'clock in the morning. Burns is not going to have visitors at this time of day. Besides, I'm the leader around here."

"That's true."

"So, do you want to do it?"

"Hell, yeah!"

We scrambled to get dressed and practically ran hand-in-hand to the house. We were in the kitchen creating our concoction when Burns entered looking groggy.

"What are you doing?"

"We're going to surprise the kids with hot chocolate and cookies!" Tori said enthusiastically.

"You know the house is off limits today."

I stopped what I was doing and turned to Burns. "Are you kicking me out of your house?"

"Absolutely—right after you finish heating up the milk." He grinned. "I get a cup, right?"

"Absolutely!" I replied.

We grabbed a sleeve of plastic cups, the cookies, and the pot of hot chocolate. We found the best way to tote it was to each take a handle and carry it between us. Burns had to stay at the house, just in case company came to call. The sun was still low in the sky, and its rays glistened on the newly fallen snow. There was about six inches on the ground. The pot began to put a strain on Victoria's fingers as we neared the cave entrance, so we put the pot down and switched places. We entered the cave, and it was silent with the exception of our footsteps. I grabbed the lantern next to the inner door. We passed Uncle George's room, and I could hear him snoring.

I knew the kids would still be asleep because they had all stayed up late playing in the snow while the adults sang Christmas carols around the bon fire. They never even noticed the group gift that Burns and I carried into the bunkhouse.

We stopped just outside the door to the boys' room that housed Blake, Carlos, Danny, and Dean.

"Are you ready?" I whispered.

"What are we going to say?"

"How about, 'Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas'?"

"Okay, on the count of three," she replied.

"Go ahead, you count."

"One, two, _three!" _We entered the boy's room with the pot still between us.

"Ho Ho Ho! Mer-ry Christmas!" we bellowed in unison.

Three of the boys rolled over and stared blindly at us. Only Danny jumped to his feet, ready to run.

"Sissy?"

"Merry Christmas, little brother!"

She put her end of the pot down and rushed to Danny. She pulled him into her arms and squeezed him tightly.

"What time is it?" Carlos muttered.

"It's almost nine o'clock. We brought you guys some Christmas goodies. Anybody want some hot chocolate and cookies?"

"Yeah!" Dean replied as he peeled back his blankets and climbed out of his bed.

Blake sat up. He wasn't wearing a shirt. Although he was slender in build, his muscular physique was undeniable. I wondered if Victoria was checking him out. I wasn't scrawny by any stretch of the imagination, but my best asset was below the belt where only a handful of people, mostly women, had the privilege to see.

It only took a few minutes for everyone to scramble out of their beds and partake of the cocoa and cookies.

I excused myself and went to Megan and Sarah's room. I woke the girl's and invited them to join the morning cheer in the boys' room. After that, I went to my sister's room and retrieved Priscilla. She was thrilled to have her Uncle Nate come to her so early on this special morning.

The kids were chattering away about their hopes for Christmas. I smiled at the thought that if it wasn't for Burns and his kind and giving heart, none of these kids would even have a thought about gifts, only survival. To me, Burns _was_ Christmas.

Blake still wasn't wearing a shirt. I was sure he must be cold, but was keeping it off in the hopes to show off to Victoria. I looked over at her. She was still sitting next to Danny, and her attention seemed to be on him. I was wedged between Sarah and Priscilla. Sarah was bubbling with excitement. She pulled my arm over her shoulder and then leaned into my chest a she nibbled on a cookie.

Finally, my eyes met Tori's. She smiled, and I smiled back at her. Such a little thing brought her so much joy. A half hour later, the cocoa was gone. I stood up to address the room.

"I have an announcement." Everyone in the room gave me their attention. "If you are still hungry, I know they are serving bagels and coffee and juice in the gameroom for breakfast since we need to keep clear of the house. At ten thirty, I'd like you four boys to meet me in the bunkhouse in Victoria's room. We need to do something special for Burns. If it wasn't for him, there would be no Christmas. Think about it. I'll be looking for ideas."

The truth was I had a special surprise for the boys. Burns and I had planned it a while back when we were building the bunkhouse. It was one of the reasons we chose the double bunks, and the final surprise was carried into the bunkhouse practically under their noses while they were playing in the snow and deposited in Tom and Maggie's room for safe keeping. Even Tori didn't know about the surprise. The only other people who knew were Hector, who was father to Carlos and Dean, and Rachel, guardian for Blake…at least for a few more months. I didn't tell Tori because I knew she wouldn't object to having Danny sleeping under the same roof as her. I also had to tell Maggie and Tom because this is also where they slept. They not only accepted the addition of the boys to the bunkhouse but said they'd watch over them to make sure they behaved. It was the perfect setup.

They boys all showed up at the bunkhouse together right at ten thirty. Victoria and I had been lying on the bed kissing.

"Are you going to teach us about sex?" Carlos asked.

"Nobody needs to teach me anything," Blake said indignantly.

Victoria and I rolled to our feet when we realized the boys had entered the room.

"Now you see why I had to move into your room," Danny said dryly.

"Sorry!" Victoria spoke defensively. "You guys should have knocked."

"Okay, quit it!" I said in an effort to restore quiet to the room. "I know that I asked you to come in to discuss what we could do for Burns, but I lied. I actually had an ulterior motive."

"Awww…you're not going to ask my sister to marry you, are you?"

Blake immediately took one giant step backward toward the door. I shot a look at Victoria who looked equally as nervous as Blake.

"No. I don't think I could handle being turned down. My surprise has to do with you guys." I pulled a small bag out of my coat pocket. "I want you each to pull a paper out of the bag. Blake, you are the oldest, so you can go first. Carlos, second; Danny, third; and Dean, you are last since you are the youngest."

Blake reached into the bag and pulled out a paper. "One," he announced.

Carlos reached in. "Three."

Danny waited for Dean to pull his number before reading his.

Dean pulled the final number.

"Go ahead, read it," Danny urged.

Dean opened his. "Two."

"That means I got four," Danny surmised as he opened his paper.

I nodded my head at the boys. "Follow me."

They parted as I walked between them to the door. They followed me down the hallway and into the room with the bunkbeds.

"Welcome to your new room."

"What?" Blake blurted out.

I knew he'd thrilled to be just a doorway down from Victoria and me out of the way in the cave.

"We won't be in the cave anymore?" Carlos asked.

"No, I spoke to each of your guardians, and they felt that you all should be given the room."

"Awesome!" Dean replied.

"Now, you are not the only ones in the bunkhouse, so don't think this is going to be a party room. Victoria is just down the hall and so are Maggie and Tom. All three will have the power over you. If they tell you to go to bed, you do it. Also, there should be absolutely no excuse for you to be late for school considering it's only thirty steps away. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir!" Danny said with gusto. "A room with heat. This is the best present I ever could have asked for! Thank you, Sissy!"

"Don't thank me. This was all Nate and Burns doing."

"What about the other room?"

"Well, there was a lot of discussion about it. I wanted it to go to Hector and Uncle George because they are the oldest. They didn't want to sleep in bunk beds. So, then we considered letting Nadine, Holly, and Ben have the room. They said to give it to Maria and Aunt Sue. Maria and Aunt Sue both declined. They want the room to go to Uncle George and Hector because the cold has been affecting their health. So…"

"So, what?"

"So, I need you boys to help me move the bunkbeds into the cave, and we will take the extra beds out of Tori's room and Maggie and Tom's room. This way the room can accommodate our senior men."

Blake piped up. "Cool, let's do it."

Victoria creased her brow. "Wait, so who gets the bunkbeds?"

"One will go in the girls' room. It will get them up off the cold floor. The other will go in Nadine's room. She and Holly can use it and all the extra mattresses will be distributed to create a thicker bed higher off the ground for some of the others. We have your four mattresses, plus the four girls'. Who has a single bed you may ask? Priscilla, Carl, Aunt Sue, and Ben. The others have queen size mattresses with the exception of Maria who has a full sized bed like me with a bed frame. We can save the other four mattresses for company."

Blake clapped his hands together. "Sounds like a plan. Let's move."

I knew I should be happy that he wanted to help, but I just felt that he was a little too happy to be so close to Victoria. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

We moved quickly to get the furniture moved from the bunkhouse to the cave. We were about to enter the cave when my phone rang twice and stopped.

"We've got company. Blake, keep everyone put that's in the cave. I'm going to warn the others."

"What about me?" Tori asked.

"Stay with Blake." I kissed her briefly and took off at a run toward the gameroom. Along the way, I ran into Rachel and Rob. "Mayday, there's company at the house. Get your ass in the cave and stay there."

"Where's Blake?" Rachel asked.

"He's in the cave. I put him in charge."

"You put my brother in charge?"

"Yes, now go!"

I continued to the gameroom. I burst in, and everyone turned to see me panting to catch my breath.

"Burns has got company. Everyone sit and be quiet." I looked at who was closest to the window. "Megan, pull the shades."

I stepped toward the window that faced the house. I crouched next to the window and peered out.

"Does anyone know if anyone is anywhere that they shouldn't be?"

"Um, Evan and Gina went for a walk in the woods," Kim replied. "And Maria and Aunt Sue were up at the house."

"Was anyone else at the house?"

"I don't think so."

"Mommy, I'm scared," Priscilla said in a soft voice.

"It's okay. We'll be fine. Burns wouldn't let anything happen to us."

"I need to find Evan and Gina. Do you know what direction they went in?"

"They said they were going to check out Ian and Wanda's house."

"Shit! If they come through the baseball field they will end up by the root cellar. That's too close to the house. Kim, here's my phone. If it rings three times and then stops, get everybody out. Run for the cave. Do you hear me?"

"Why don't we just go now?"

I drew in a deep breath. "Okay. You lead the way. I'll follow up the rear. When we get to the cave, I'll head toward Ian's place."

The handful of people in the game room put on their coats. Kim led the way with Tom behind her, carrying Priscilla. Megan and Sarah followed. Behind them were Max and Miranda. I ran into the bunkhouse and checked all the rooms. Empty. I breathed a sigh of relief as I checked the bathroom before running at full speed to catch up with the others.

As they entered the cave, I checked with Blake to see if anyone else was missing, and if by chance, Evan and Gina had returned.

"Everyone is here except Evan and Gina, Maria and Aunt Sue, and Maggie and Tom," Blake said with authority.

"Shit! Tom and Maggie are missing, too?" I pulled out my phone and dialed Burns.

He picked up after three rings. "Merry Christmas. This is Burns."

"Hey, I need to know. How many people are hiding under the house?"

"You caught four of them?" he replied.

"Four? Are Ian's parents among the four?"

"No, of course not, sir. I have company, but I'll be available shortly. I hope you and your children are enjoying your Christmas, Gina and Evan—isn't that their names?"

"They are hiding under the house with Maria and Sue?"

"Yes, sir."

"I need to find Tom and Maggie. They are missing."

"You do that. I'll be in shortly."

"Call me when the coast is clear."

"Will do."

I hung up the phone. "Evan and Gina are under the house with Maria and Aunt Sue. I have no idea where Ian's parents are."

Tori grabbed my arm. "I'll bet I know where they are."

"Where?"

"The baseball field. There are pictures of Ian in the dugout. It's Christmas and I'm sure they miss having Ian and Kyle here. I bet they are where they would feel closest to him."

"I hope you're right."

"I want to go with you."

"No. It's too dangerous."

"You forget; I lived in the woods for six years." She stared into my eyes with a look of superiority.

"Okay, fine, but you listen to me. Got that?"

"Absolutely," she replied solemnly.

We headed out across the playground and through the small patch of woods that led to the baseball field. Before we stepped out into the open, Tori pulled me aside and pointed ahead.

"Look, there's a set of prints going that way and another set going toward the dugouts, and a third headed back toward the house."

"Well, the ones headed to the house must belong to Evan and Gina. Let's check out the dugout."

"You're the boss," she said in a mocking tone.

We followed the tracks across the field. We were only about fifty feet away from the nearest dugout when we heard the sound of heavy machinery.

Victoria immediately fell into a crouch. "What the hell is that?"

"It's the snow plows. They plowed the road, and they are turning around in the vacant lot. Come on, let's go!" I grabbed her by the hand and pulled her to her feet. We took off running. Tori was two steps ahead of me right from the start. Even wearing the boots and heavy clothing, she still ran like a gazelle in flight mode. We got to the closest dugout and hurried inside. Tom and Maggie were sitting silently in the corner clinging to each other and looking very tense. They relaxed when they realized it was us.

"Thank God we found you!" I huffed as I tried to catch my breath.

"We wanted to see Ian's picture because we miss him and Kyle. Then, we heard the plows. We were afraid to leave."

At that moment, my phone rang. I picked it up quickly.

"Hello?"

"Hey, did you find Maggie and Tom?" Burns asked in a soft voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, we've got them in the dugout."

"Didn't you hear the plows?"

"Yes, why do you think we are holed up in the dugout?"

"The plows are gone. They passed the house on the way back down just a minute ago. The Robinsons left, but Fluttering in the Wind was right behind the damn plows. You know she's going to talk my ear off and ask a ton of questions about _Ashley_."

"Who?"

"Wanderer. Fluttering thinks her name is Ashley, remember?"

"Oh, right."

"Do me a favor and call me in ten minutes, so I can pretend that I am needed on a call."

"Where are you?"

"The bathroom."

"Oh. Okay. Bye." I hung up. "Jesus! This is becoming a nightmare!"

"What? What's wrong?" Victoria demanded.

"He's got more company now. Wanda's hairdresser friend from town. She's a nosy one, too."

"Do you think she'll stay long?"

"I don't know. I hope not. He asked me to call him in ten minutes. Burns said the plows went back down the mountain. Let's get back to the cave."

We moved at a fast walk across the open baseball field. By the time we reached the cave, I decided enough time had passed to call Burns.

"Merry Christmas. Burns here."

"It's me."

"Where do you have them?" He paused. "Sure, I know that place. It'll only take me an hour to get there."

"I've got everyone in the cave now except those under the house. I hope she leaves soon."

"Good. I hope so, too."

"They must be getting cold under the house."

"See you soon. Bye."

I entered the cave. "Tori, get yourself a weapon, just in case. I'm going to scope out the house."

"You want me to come with you?"

"No, I want you to protect the clan."

"Okay, Nate?"

"Yeah?"

"Put your phone on vibrate."

I grinned at her. "Thanks."

I made my way to the house. Instead of taking the path, I took the woods. There was plenty of brush to hide behind as I moved in the general direction of the house. I could see the path, so I knew no one was on it. I got near the edge of the woods, and I could see the house.

Suddenly, I heard voices up ahead. I squatted behind a tree and listened. It sounded like Burns's voice. Then I head a car door slam and then another. _Burns must be leaving, but why? _I moved toward the house on my haunches, and I saw a car back out of the driveway and pull away. Then I saw Burns in the truck back out and pull away as well. _Shit. Where is he going?_

As if on cue, my phone began to vibrate. I picked it up immediately.

"Hello?"

"All clear. Get them out from under the house. I'll be backing two hours."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know. For a little ride."

"Should I let the ladies in the house? They need to start cooking."

"Sure, just put a note on the door saying that I'll be back tomorrow."

"Okay."

"And put up a watch, so you don't get caught off guard."

"Okay."

"And keep the lights off."

"Okay."

"Except the porch light."

"Burns! I know what I'm doing! I wasn't born yesterday!"

"Sorry, man. Call me if you need anything."

I hung up and headed for the house. Evan climbed out from under the house just as he saw me approaching. He held the plaited wooden door open for the ladies. I stepped up and offered my hand to Aunt Sue as she emerged in the doorway. She grabbed my hand and then gripped my arm as I led her up the back steps and into the house.

"I can't feel my feet," she groaned.

"I'll get the Jacuzzi started, so you and the others can warm your feet."

Sue marched around the living room while I went to the bathroom and turned on the water. Maria came in behind me.

"Get out! I've been holding it for a while now."

"How are your toes?"

"Frozen. Can we talk about this later?"

"Sure."

I left the bathroom. Evan was trying to warm up Gina. I approached them.

"You okay, Gina?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"What were you two doing up here anyway? The house is off limits. You both knew that."

"I had to go to the bathroom," Gina said in her defense. "And this was way closer than the bunkhouse."

"If Burns's company had pulled up at that moment, you could have been discovered! Couldn't you have just squatted in the woods?"

"Nate, no, okay?" She marched away in a huff.

I turned to Evan. "What's wrong with her?"

"She had to take a crap, man."

"Oh." I felt like an idiot.

"I'll take her back to the cave."

"No. Let her stay for a bit. She needs to warm up. I need you to do me a favor."

"Sure, whatcha need?"

"I need you to run back to the cave and get Victoria. I need her to be a lookout in case someone else shows up while Burns is gone."

"Why Victoria? Why don't I get Rob or Carl?"

"Because Victoria is used to the cold ,and she's good at this and because Tori gets off on being the protector."

"Oh yeah? Do you two play dude in distress, and then she rescues you, and you fuck her brains out to show your gratitude?"

I grimaced. "You're a sick dude."

"Hey, I wish Gina would play those games. She's very conservative in the bedroom."

_Seriously? Are we talking about the same girl? _"Sure," I said in agreement just to shut him up. "Are you gonna go or what?"

"Yeah, let me tell Gina."

"I'll tell her. Hurry. I don't like leaving us vulnerable like this, and besides, the ladies need to start cooking."

"Okay, I'm off like a cheap suit."

"That's a dirty shirt."

"What?"

"The phrase is 'I'm off like a dirty shirt.' It's from the movie _Pretty in Pink_. Ducky boy says it when he's leaving the record store after he does that song by Otis Redding."

"Whatever." Evan gave me a strange look and put on his gloves.

"Please tell me you've seen _Pretty in Pink_."

"Nope. Sounds gay."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Just go."

Maria and Sue were in the bathroom with the door closed. I could only assume they were in a state of semi-undress at the very least as they warmed their tootsies in the Jacuzzi. Gina was in the kitchen. I entered the quiet room, thrilled to have a little alone time with her.

"Hey, sexy."

"What do you want?" she snapped.

"Look, I'm sorry I interrogated you. I have to look out for the best interests of the entire clan, and I sure as hell wouldn't want to lose you in the process."

"I wouldn't have come here if I didn't absolutely have to."

"I know."

"Where's Evan?"

"I sent Evan to the cave to get Victoria. I need a lookout."

"She's really good at that stuff, huh?"

"Well, she spent years protecting her brother."

"I spent years on the run. Why am I so helpless?"

"You are not helpless. Why would you think that?"

"Well, besides the fact that I've been raped, and yet I still feel the need to be with someone. Why can't I be strong like her?"

"When she went on the run, she was with her father and Danny. She didn't have the threat of being lusted after—and her father taught her how to survive in the woods and how to use a gun. You were just a kid at the mercy of men who should have protected you."

"I want you to know that I'm not with Evan for the sex."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I immediately thought about my prior conversation with Evan about Gina being conservative in the bedroom. Then it dawned on me. "Are you with Evan because you think you need protection?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"From who? Me?"

"No. I know you would never hurt me. But if I wasn't with him, how do I know that someone else wouldn't come to me in the middle of the night and you know…"

I turned my back to her because if anyone would have gone to her in the middle of the night, it would have been me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way. I would never force myself on you, but…" I turned around and faced her. "It kills me that I can't make love to you."

"Nate, I'm trying to be faithful to Evan."

"Why?"

"He's been really good to me. I mean we fight sometimes, yes, but don't all couples fight?"

"Yes, of course. I was just hoping for a Christmas kiss." In my mind, I hoped that a single kiss might lead to the demise of her relationship, and then she'd be mine for the taking. It was selfish on my part.

I gazed at her, and her eyes pooled with tears.

"On the cheek, of course," I clarified, not wanting to cause further distress after seeing her crumble.

"Oh, Nate. I want to kiss you, too, but I don't want to hurt Evan."

"Sure, I understand," I said in a supportive voice. "I mean you have Evan and I have Victoria."

She bolted forward, wrapped her arms around my chest, and buried her face in my neck.

"Shit," I muttered.

She convulsed and let out a sob.

"I'm sorry, angel. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I love you, Nate."

"I love you, too."

She pulled back, so I could see her face. "How does she do it?"

"How does who do what?"

"How does Victoria sleep with you and give you her heart knowing you will always be wishing it was Wanda?"

I twisted my head sideways. "Is that what you think?"

At that moment, the back door opened and closed without the usual slam. Gina quickly backed away from me and wiped the tears from her face with her hands.

"Nate?" I heard Victoria call out from the living room.

"In here, Xena," I called, but my attention was still focused on Gina. "It's not like that at all," I blurted out before Victoria entered with Evan trailing behind.

"Hi," she said. "Evan said that you needed me?"

"I do. Burns is going to be gone for a bit and…"

Evan interrupted me. "Why are you crying?" He immediately turned to me. "What did you say to her?"

"Nothing!" I replied defensively. I didn't know what else to say.

"It's not his fault," Gina added. "I just got caught up in everything, and I got scared."

"Of what?" Evan asked.

"We could have been caught. I was stupid."

I acted purely on instinct at that moment. I was closet to Gina, and I wrapped my arms around her. "It's okay, angel. No harm, no foul."

"Excuse me. Do you mind taking your hands off of my girlfriend?"

"Sorry, she was upset. I was concerned, and I wanted to comfort her."

"You don't need to be concerned."

"I'm allowed to care about her. You don't own that or her for that matter."

"Would you two stop it! I'm okay! I'm going to join Maria and Aunt Sue in the Jacuzzi. "

Evan stepped forward and kissed her tenderly on the cheek. To me, it was an obviously play to claim his territory. They left room, and Tori and I were alone.

I turned back to Victoria. "Anyway, as I was saying…"

Victoria stared at me, and she looked distraught.

"Tori, are you okay?"

"Sure, fine," She didn't sound convincing.

I reached out and caressed her cheek. "Don't crumble on me, doll. I need your strength right now."

"And I need just a little bit of attention."

My mind again went to the conversation I had with Burns. He had said that Tori had a huge issue when it came to Gina. I pulled her close and kissed her on the lips. "You're still my girl."

Tori took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm ready to serve my family."

I cracked a smile. "Okay, sweetheart, Burns is going to be gone for a few hours. I need you to help me by standing watch in the old watch stand down the road, so you can warn us if anyone decides to pay a visit to Burns. You know the place I am talking about?"

"Yes, but how am I supposed to warn you? We only have one phone."

"Ever fire a shot gun?"

She grimaced. "You're kidding me, right?"

"I was just checking. I mean, you're a woman and a shot gun has quite a kick."

"Thanks for noticing."

"Noticing what?"

"That I'm a woman."

"Never doubt that even though you can out-shoot, out-run, and probably out-defend most men, I know that under that flannel shirt is the body of a beautiful and sensual woman."

"Thank you."

"Victoria, I didn't know I needed to pump up your ego."

"Well, you did say that you don't love me."

"Do you really want to argue about this again? I do love you, and I will always love you, even when you finally kick me to the curb." _Why dies she always do that? She just won't let it drop._ I was learning very quickly that telling the truth to women was a definite no-no.

"Okay, I need to get going. I'm assuming you want me to fire a shot as a warning."

"Yes. We'll be able to hear it here in the house."

"And where is this shotgun?"

"Follow me." I led Tori to Burns's bedroom where I retrieved the shotgun from under the bed. The box of shells was in the bottom drawer of the dresser. I pulled out three shells and handed them to Victoria. "I'll come to relieve you in forty five minutes, okay?"

"You don't have to. I can hang until Burns gets back."

"Sweetheart, I'll see you in forty five minutes." I took her face in my hands and kissed her. "Be careful."

"I will."

I was finishing the note to hang on the front door when Maria entered the kitchen.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked.

"I'll live. I need to get crackin' on dinner. I can't fit two turkeys in the oven at the same time."

"That's why I'm here to help you. Put me to work."

"Maria flipped on the light."

I turned off the light. "No lights until Burns gets back. He could have more company. We need to be prepared to hide, just in case."

I hung the note on the front door and flipped on the porch light. Maria and I worked together to get the first turkey in the oven. Aunt Sue then returned and pushed me out of the way. Gina and Evan had returned to the cave. I felt useless just sitting here on the couch. I had to admit that I was worried about her all alone in the woods. I figured it couldn't hurt to show up fifteen minutes early. I poked my head into the kitchen and let the ladies know I was going.

It was easy to follow the tracks that Tori had left in the snow. I came upon her pretty quickly. Her back was to me, and I thought I could sneak up on her. I got within a few feet of her.

"You know, that is a great way to get shot. Didn't anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on someone holding a gun?"

"You heard me?"

"You step heavier with your left foot than you do with your right."

"Do I?"

She turned to me. "Yes, you do. Now, get down here. You can be spotted from the road when you stand up like that."

I crouched next to her. "Do you want to go back?"

"No, I'm good."

"Mind if I stay with you?"

"No, I like the company."

We sat in silence for a while.

"This is peaceful," I said, breaking the silence.

"Look." She pointed to the left. A grey fox stopped and quickly spun toward us when Tori spoke. He stared at us for a moment and then trotted away.

After another twenty minutes, we heard a vehicle coming up the road. A few seconds later, Burns's truck came into view. Victoria and I breathed a sigh of relief. After he passed, we stood up and hurried back to the house.

It was a relief to have us all together again. Now that Burns was back home, Tori and I took the opportunity to use the Jacuzzi. Of course, that turned into sex. It was a nice afternoon delight.

In the evening, after every filled their bellies with turkey and all the trimmings, we all gathered around the Christmas tree. Since Carl was the heaviest of the men, he was selected to play Santa Claus. He wore a red flannel shirt, a fake beard, and a Santa hat.

The tree was inundated with gifts. He handed the gifts out three at a time in the beginning. My first gift was from Maria. It was a hat. A very cool hat. I felt like a gangster. Tori seemed to like the hat, too. I could tell because she adjusted the hat on my head and said, "perfection," and then kissed me.

The gifts I gave were mostly to the ladies. Megan and Sarah each received zip up hoodies with the latest pop stars on them. I knew they would like them because they watched a lot of music television, and they begged Burns to get the CD's of the artists they liked. Maria, Aunt Sue, Kim, Rachel, and Holly each got sweaters. Tom and Uncle George each got quilted flannel shirts. In a genius move, I asked Burns to get me a catalog from J C Penney. I picked what I wanted for each of them and everything was shipped to the house. All of the ladies loved their sweaters. Rachel went so far as to take off her shirt in front of everyone, although she did, at least, have the sense to turn her back to us as she stripped and then pulled the sweater over her head and torso. It fit her perfectly. Her voluptuous breasts filled out that sweater like two balloons.

Gina gave everyone the same gift. She had embroidered cute little sayings into pillow cases and personalized them. It was a great idea. The only thing was I didn't get one. I was feeling a little dejected when she walked up to me and handed me my gift. I opened it in front of her. It was a pillowcase. On it was an angel that she must have had Burns have specially airbrushed at some mall. Underneath, she had embroidered the words,

_when you lay your head on your pillow at night,_

_remember,_

_ an angel watches over you. _

I was so touched; I wanted to cry.

"And look," she pointed out, "there's a guardian angel pin attached to the corner. You can wear it on your lapel." She pulled the pin from the corner of the pillowcase and pinned it to the collar of my flannel shirt.

Our eyes met.

I felt the lump form in the back of my throat. "Now you'll be with me always."

She, too, was holding back the tears. Then, in a surprise move, she leaned in, and in front of everyone, she kissed me on the lips. It wasn't a sloppy make –out kiss, but rather, a tender closed mouth kiss, and she allowed her lips to linger on mine before pulling away.

"Merry Christmas, Nathan," she whispered.

I had gotten my Christmas kiss. I wanted to grab her and drag her to my room, make passionate love to her, and then beg her to leave Evan.

Instead, I sighed deeply. "Merry Christmas, angel. I'm glad you found your way to the mountain."

"Me, too." She wiped the tear that had slid its way from the corner of my eye and down my cheek.

The whole room fell silent. It was as if they were mesmerized by the love we obviously had for each other. Finally, Carl broke the silence.

"Ho, ho, ho! Let's see what else is under the tree." He reached down and picked up a large rectangular gift. "Oh, I have a gift for Priscilla from Nate!"

Priscilla jumped up in excitement. She ran to me and wrapped her arms around my waist and yelled, "Thank you, Uncle Nate!" It was the perfect distraction. I didn't really want to go eye to eye with Victoria after that emotional exchange between Gina and me.

I chuckled. "Princess, you don't even know what it is yet!"

She marched over to Carl, took the gift, dropped to her knees, and tore off the wrapping, revealing a jewelry making kit complete with beads, both glass and plastic, string, wire, and metal clasps.

"Wow!" she crooned. "This is stupendous!"

I kneeled down next to her and kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad you like it."

"Will you help me make some jewelry?"

"Of course, I will."

She stood up and gave me a heartfelt hug before returning to her mother.

Everyone laughed when it came time for me and Burns to open our gifts to each other. We got each other the same thing. I really wasn't much of a fisherman, but Burns announced that he was going to teach me how to fish, so I would stop exploiting the women in the clan.

I retaliated by announcing that the ladies loved my blatant displays of affection. The ladies backed me up when they all, led by Rachel, came up and gave me a group hug.

My final gift was for Victoria. I brought her up in front of the tree because I had the gift in the pocket of my shirt.

"Victoria, I want you to know that I wracked my brain trying to figure out the perfect gift to give you. I finally decided that as an artist, you would appreciate something artistic. So, with that in mind, I want you to know that I created your gift. I mean, I didn't actually make it. I just created the concept, and Burns had a jeweler make it. I just hope you like it."

Victoria carefully unwrapped the box and then ever so slowly took off the cover. Then—she gasped.

"Oh, Nate! It's perfect!"

She stared at it for a bit.

"The stones are real," Burns explained.

"What is it? We want to see!" Holly called out.

"Nate, help me put it on."

Holly jumped up and approached Victoria. "Wow, would you look at that. It's a painter's palette. And the stones represent the different colors." Holly leaned in and examined it. "Look, there's a ruby, a sapphire, an emerald, a topaz, an amethyst, and a diamond. It's beautiful."

Victoria wasn't one to show displays of affection in public, so I wasn't surprised when all I got was a hug. I knew she'd thank me properly later.

The rest of the evening, everyone partied and had a merry old time. Victoria and I retired a little early. It had been a long day for us, and we just needed a little alone time.

Victoria stripped off her clothes and slipped under the blankets. I stripped only to my boxers and did the same. She curled into my chest, and I held her.

"Did you have a good Christmas?"

"Yes, it was awesome, thank you."

"You're not mad at me, are you?

"No. Should I be?"

"I just though the thing with Gina…"

"Nate, I can't make you shut your heart off when it comes to Gina. I'm just going to have to suck it up and hope you don't sleep with her again—because if you did…"

"I won't." I wasn't really sure how much truth there was in that statement, but I did know that Gina was adamant about not cheating on Evan.

I rolled over and pushed Tori onto her back and began to kiss her. We were only a few seconds in when, all of a sudden, there was screaming and yelling coming from the boys' room.

"What the hell is that?" Victoria said as she pushed me off of her and sat up.

"I don't know," I replied.

A moment later, there was pounding on the door. I sat up and grabbed my shirt off of the nightstand that I had purposely placed there in anticipation of this moment.

"Here, put this on," I instructed. "_Just a sec!_" I called out.

Tori quickly donned the shirt and pulled it closed.

"Come in!" she yelled.

"Nate! Thank you for the TV!" Danny cried out as he and the others burst into the room.

"What are you talking about?" I said innocently.

"You didn't get us the TV?" Carlos asked.

"No, I swear."

"Then who did? Burns?"

"I don't think so. He would have told me. It must have been Santa Claus."

"Yeah, right," Blake answered sarcastically.

At that moment, it dawned on me that this morning, he was the one in bed without a shirt, and now, he was seeing me in bed with no shirt. The difference was I had the semi-clad Victoria in my bed. I wanted to smile at him, but I knew he would think that I was lying about the TV. I kept my composure.

"I swear. I didn't do it. I'll call Burns if you don't believe me." I pulled my phone off the dresser and hit Burns on speed dial.

"Nate?"

"Dude, did you buy the boys a TV for Christmas?"

Burns laughed on the other end.

"Would you tell Blake that you didn't buy the TV?"

I held out the phone to Blake. He stepped forward and took the phone.

"Hey, Burns…You're both lying…Sure…Merry Christmas to you, too." He disconnected and handed the phone back to me.

Danny was the first to speak. "What did he say?"

He shook his head in disbelief. "He said he didn't do it, and that sometimes, there are miracles like the one that brought us all together as a family."

"I guess Santa didn't forget you kids this year," I added still maintaining my innocence. "I just hope you'll share your good fortune with the girls."

Carlos answered for the group. "Of course, we will."

"Go to bed guys. Tomorrow is school."

The boys groaned.

"Merry Christmas, Nate!" Danny said happily. "This was the best Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, guys."

Danny rushed toward the bed and kissed his sister good night. As the door shut, I turned to Tori.

"Now where were we?"

"You really got them the TV, right?"

"Nope. Santa Claus lives."

18


	69. Chapter 69

**Sunrise, sunset**

**Sunrise, sunset**

**Swiftly flow the years**

**One season following another,**

**Laden with happiness…**

**And**

**Tears….**

**I completely understand how Nate feels right now. Although our circumstances are certainly different, like Nate, it is difficult to lose someone close to my heart.**

**It hurts**

**Every day.**

A WARM NIGHT IN A COLD MINE

01-05-2003 – I know it's been a while since I wrote, but the truth is I ran out of pages in my diary. I didn't buy a new one because I had hoped I would get one for Christmas. I guess it's my fault for not letting anyone know that I wanted one. So, in lieu of that fact, this will probably be a long entry.

My last entry was on Christmas day. The boys were thrilled to move into the bunkhouse, and the TV really came in handy because we've had a lot of snow—over two feet in the last three weeks. Everyone is already complaining that they are sick of the snow.

New Year's was fun. Since everyone had dress clothes, we had a party in the bunkhouse. We dressed up, and Carlos played deejay. Everyone had a great time.

I'm sure the question in your mind as you read this is how are things with me and Victoria? The answer to that is we are hanging in there. She loved the necklace that I gave her. She never takes it off. There was a little tension at the New Year's party when Gina and I snuck a New Year's kiss outside the bunkhouse, and Tori caught us. I coerced Gina into it, but I hope the kiss meant as much to her as it did to me. Tori retaliated by giving Blake a big fat wet one in front of everyone. I'm sure she did it to piss me off, but I sucked it up and took the high road.

Victoria ended up getting pretty drunk. I put her to bed and went back to my room without getting my New Year's pop if you know what I mean. The following day, she was hungover, and I took care of her. We made love on New Year's Day, but it seemed like we were going through the motions. We've only made love three times since then. I know we care about each other, but it almost seems like we are hanging onto the relationship out of obligation.

Blake turns eighteen in two weeks, and my birthday is the week after that. I am curious to see whether or not we will still be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship by then. The kicker is Valentine's Day is just three days after my birthday.

The gypsies are probably hurting for supplies by now. It's been over a month since I've gone to them. The plan was to go right after New Year's. Unfortunately, the snow has kept me here on the mountain. The weather forecast is calling for clear skies for the next few days, so I guess it's time for me to make a move. I've had a special surprise in the van for them since before Christmas. Today, Burns is going into town to get the perishable supplies I need for them. I'll leave tonight right after dinner.

I'm anxious to see Klaudia and her new baby, and I'm looking forward to seeing Nadia.

I stepped outside the cave. It was a sunny day. Everyone seemed to be out and about. The children were in school, and the adults were out taking walks, doing laundry in the root cellar, and just enjoying the day.

Victoria was in the living room lounging on the couch with her sketchpad.

"Hey, Xena. It's a beautiful day."

"Good morning, Nate."

I walked to where she was sitting and kissed the top of her head. "What's for breakfast?"

"Biscuits and gravy."

"Mmm, my favorite. I'll be back."

I entered the kitchen, and the usual late morning crowd was present: Gina and Evan, Rachel and Rob, Kim and Tom.

"Hi, guys!"

"Hey, Nate," they each responded almost in unison.

There was no place to for me to sit, so I walked up to Maria and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Aren't you supposed to be off kitchen duty today?"

"You're going to be leaving us for a while. I want to make sure you are properly fed before you go off to that crazy gypsy girl."

Gina practically bounced out of her chair. "You're going to see the baby? Can I come?"

Evan shot me a sinister look.

"Angel, I'm going to be driving in the snow. I have no idea how bad it may be when I get to the mines. I don't think it would be a good idea if I take you with me."

Gina rushed to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "Oh, please, Nathan?" she said with syrupy sweetness. She gazed into my eyes, and I was about to crack.

Evan stood up. "If you go, then I'm going."

"You can't do that," I replied.

"Why not?"

I had forgotten that Evan was unaware of the sleeping arrangements when I had taken Gina with me to the gypsies—or maybe, subconsciously, I wanted to spill the beans. At any rate, my mouth engaged before my brain. "Because the gypsies think me and Gina are married. Someone has to sleep with Nadia if we show up as a couple. Do you want the honor?"

Gina's eyes blew up like two saucers. She immediately released me.

Evan stepped around the corner of the table toward us. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I need to check on my laundry," Rachel said as she rose from the table dragging Rob with her.

Maria inserted herself in the space between me and Evan. She looked back and forth at each of as she spoke. "Whatever happened was in the past, and that's where we will leave it." She turned and faced Evan directly. "Do I make myself clear?"

Gina finally found her voice, and she aimed her venom right at me as her eyes pooled with tears. "I can't believe you would betray me like that. I hate you!" She turned and fled the kitchen.

Evan started to move toward the door, but Maria blocked him. "Let her go," she ordered. Tom got up to reinforce Maria. Maria then looked over her shoulder at me. "_You_ need to apologize to that girl."

I was out of the kitchen before she could say anything more. Gina was by the back door hastily pulling on her coat.

"Gina." I called out.

"I trusted you," she growled, and then she pulled the door open and slammed it behind her as she left.

Victoria was still on the couch sketching. She looked almost annoyed. I stopped dead in my tracks. I wanted to go after Gina, but my damn girlfriend would surely have something to say. How would I explain my way out of this one?

Tori glanced up from her sketchpad. "You had better go to her or you are never going to forgive yourself."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you for understanding."

She sat upright. "Nate, I knew a long time ago that you would never stop loving Gina. That's why I know we will never make it as a couple."

I grabbed my coat off the hook. "I'm sorry."

"She ruined you," Tori said coldly.

I wanted to find out what the hell she meant by that comment, but unfortunately Tori was right. I would never forgive myself if I didn't try to make things right. As I stepped out onto the porch, I saw Gina disappear down the pathway where the first line of trees began. I took the six steps in two quick leaps, and I was off and running.

"Gina!" I hollered.

Gina was running, too. I was slowly gaining on her. She hadn't turned into the gameroom where the kids were attending class, and she continued past the bunkhouse. She was obviously headed to the cave. When I reached the cave, it was quiet. I walked silently along the lantern lit hallway until I came to the room that Evan and Gina shared. I listened at the wooden screen that served as a makeshift door. I could hear her crying. _Shit!_

I tapped lightly on the door. "Gina? It's Nate."

"Go away, Nate," she sniveled.

"Can I come in? I want to apologize."

"Apology not accepted."

"Please, Gina." I was talking to the door. "I didn't mean to tell Evan about us at the mines. It just came out."

Suddenly, Gina pulled back the panel to the wooden screen. The look on her face telegraphed her anger. Her words only solidified that fact.

"That's bullshit, Nate! I trusted you with my secrets and you just blurted out that I had slept with you while I was seeing him!"

I tried to defend myself the best that I could. "I never said that we slept together. I just said that the gypsies think we are married."

"And married people sleep together. Jesus, Nate! What were you thinking?"

"I don't know." I paused in an effort to rationalize my thoughts. "I was thinking—no—I was hoping that he'd sleep with Nadia, and I could have you for a few days."

She exploded. "What am I? Your whore?"

"No, I didn't mean it like that."

"Nate, stay away from me—and here…" She turned away and grabbed the book off the shelf that I had given her for Christmas. She shoved it into my hands. "Take the book back. We are no longer friends."

She might have as well have stabbed me in the heart. "Gina, please!" I was begging.

"If Evan breaks up with me over this, I'm leaving here,. and I'm never coming back!"

I reacted swiftly. I dropped the book and wrapped my arms around her. "You can't go."

She pushed against my body. "Let—me—go!" I released her. "You said you wanted me to be happy, but you lied. The only happiness you care about is your own. Just leave me alone!"

She pushed past me and rushed out the door. I just stood there. My chest restricted, and I had a hard time catching my breath. _She hates me! _I bent over and picked up the book. I placed it back on the shelf. I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt so empty inside.

I wandered out of the room and into the hallway. I decided I needed to get away. I took a brisk walk in the woods and found myself at my mother's grave.

"Hey, mom." I was focused on the grave marker that Tori had created to replace the rock that had previously been the only marker. "I wish you were here because I really need you right now." I knelt down and brushed the frozen snowcap off the top of the marker. "I'm such an idiot." I sighed deeply. "I had the perfect girl for me, and I let her go. I practically pushed her away because I was obsessed with a girl I knew I couldn't have." I paused. "Why is it I'm attracted to the woman I can't have? Gina wanted me right from the get go. I coulda had her, but no, I ignored her until she shacked up with Evan, and then I decided I wanted her. What's wrong with me, Mom? I sabotage myself every time. Now I have Tori, and she's a great a girl—and she's good in bed, too." I paced back and forth. "But no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to love her the way she wants me to love her." I continued to pace. "I'm going to go away for a little while. I think I should spend a week or two with the gypsies. Nadia will like that. Gina will have the time to prove to Evan that he's the one she loves, and Tori can establish the relationship I know she wants with Blake. I think I just need to be single again. I'm not focused on my job as a leader." I knelt down again by the flat stone. "I love you, Mom. I miss you."

As I turned to walk away my cheeks stung from the tears that had escaped. Tears for the loss of my mother and tears for the loss of Gina.

The sun disappeared in the horizon. Everything was packed. I was glad to go. Victoria walked me to the van. I knew what I had to do.

I took her hands in mine. "Victoria, I'm sorry for stringing you along all these months. While I'm gone, I want you to think about what you want. If it's Blake, I don't want you to waste another minute trying to make our relationship work. I don't know when I'm coming back."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you were right. Gina ruined me. She didn't mean to. I guess that even though I love Wanda, I know she'll never be mine—but with Gina, I had her and now I want her back, and I can't have her either. I care about you. I always have, but you said it yourself. We will never be a happily married couple."

Her eyes pooled up with tears.

"You're a beautiful lady, and I'll never, ever forget the moments we spent together, and I hope we will always be friends."

I pulled her into my chest, and she cried. I stroked her head. "You'll thank me. You'll see."

"I love you, Nate."

"I know. This isn't easy for me either, but someone pointed out that I am selfish. I don't want to be that way with you." I pulled her chin up and gave her one last kiss. It lasted about thirty seconds, and I let my lips linger on hers, knowing this would be our final kiss. I grazed my fingers along her cheek and backed away. I pulled the door to the van open and slid into the seat.

"Be careful," she croaked.

"Sure. Call me if you need anything."

My hand was shaking as I turned the key in the ignition. Tori backed away from the van and watched me as I pulled away.

I had just broken up with the only person I'd called a girlfriend in over six years. For the first hour, I was panicked. It took everything in me not to turn around and go back to her.

As the hours passed, my panic turned to relief. I embraced the idea that I could spend intimate moments with Nadia and not feel guilty about it. I only hoped Nadia would be happy to see me. I had to face the possibility that she had entered into a full blown relationship with her own nephew. I shuddered at the thought.

The roads were clear for the most part, but as I got closer to my destination, there were roads that had not been properly plowed which left frozen slush and icy patches in places where the trees blocked the sun by day. I had to drive slowly and carefully and keep a keen eye on the road. I slid a few times as I got close to the mines. I was glad the roads were deserted at this time of night. When I finally pulled into the mines, my neck and shoulder muscles were tight, and I was exhausted.

I stepped out of the truck, and my legs were stiff. It didn't help that it was a frigid cold night. I hobbled up to the spot where I always stood for inspection. I could see the glow of the cook fire that was always kept lit during the winter months hidden behind the tarp they had erected in an effort to block themselves from view. The spotlight clicked on, and I was blinded. I did not look forward to dropping my pants in the snow.

Suddenly, a figure appeared in my line of vision, and it was coming toward me at a fast pace. "Nate!" Nadia slammed into me, grabbed my face, and kissed me many times before ramming her tongue into my mouth. I responded immediately, and we shared a long, intimate kiss. I finally ended the kiss, and she pulled her face away and stared into my eyes. "I knew you'd come!"

I brushed her hair away from her face. "Hi, princess. Did you miss me?"

"Are you kidding? It's been so boring here without you."

"Does that mean you've been a good girl?" I hoped she understood that it was my way of asking if she had kept her legs closed.

"Niko has been nothing but respectful to me since he found out that he will get to go to the mountain when he turns eighteen."

"Good."

Stanislaw stepped into the light. "Are you two going to stand out here in the cold lollygagging all night?"

I looked up and smiled at Stanislaw. Nadia stepped back, so I could shake his hand. "Stanislaw. Good to see you. How is your health?"

"Never better. I feel like I'm forty again."

"And Klaudia? Did she have the baby?"

"She had a girl!" Nadia blurted out.

"And she is healthy?"

"Yes, everyone is healthy," Stanislaw replied. "Ludmila had a bit of a cold, but I convinced her to take some of that fancy medicine that you gave to me, and she is feeling much better."

"Good."

"We're hungry though. We've been low on supplies. If you hadn't come in the next two days, Dominik and Aleksander were going to take matters into their own hands."

"I knew you would come!" Nadia squealed.

I wrapped my arm around Nadia's shoulder and led her back to the mine. "Let's get you out of this cold. The food will keep until morning."

"You usually arrive around two. It's nearly four. Were the roads bad?"

"Yes. I slid a few times. It was a difficult drive."

"I imagine you're tired."

"Indeed."

"Nadia, don't you pester him. He needs to sleep tonight."

"Yes, papa." She gave her father a coy look.

I pulled her close to my chest. "She'll be fine."

Nadia and I grabbed a lantern and veered off in the direction of her room. "I've been washing every day. I cleaned my room and washed my sheets."

"Sweetheart, you don't have to do those things on my account."

"Well, Gina told me that you are very clean. She even showed me a trick to get my sheets to smell real nice."

"She did, did she?"

"Uh huh, she told me to pick the flowers that smell really nice and let them dry out in a bowl in my room. She said once they are dried, I should put some in a sock, and after I rinse the soap out of the sheets, I should let them soak with the sock that has the dried flowers in it, and then my sheets will smell real pretty!"

"She told you that?"

"Yep. Don't your sheets smell good?"

"Yes, but I use dryer sheets when I put them in the dryer."

"Oh."

I pulled off my coat and kicked off my shoes.

"Doesn't Gina wash the sheets?"

I tapped her on the nose. "Sometimes—I don't want to talk about Gina. I'm here for you."

Nadia didn't pursue the conversation further, but I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was holding her questions at bay. I stripped down to my boxers and climbed under the comforter. Nadia removed all of her clothing and crept in next to me. I rolled toward her and wrapped my arm around her torso. She curled into my body. Her face was buried in my chest.

"You're nose is cold," I whispered.

"You're so warm. I just want to climb inside of you," she whispered back.

I reached over and turned the lantern light off, kissed the top of her head, and closed my eyes. I was drifting off when Nadia's hand slid down my torso and caressed my dick.

"Nadia, please, let me get some sleep. I promise I will satisfy you in the morning."

"But I have so little time with you," she pleaded.

"I'll be here for a while. I'm not in any hurry to get back to the mountain."

"Okay."

I hoped that would be the end of it, but a minute later, she broke the silence once again.

"Did you and Gina split up?" She asked softly.

"Yes," I answered.

"Because of me?"

"No, because of me."

"Are you okay?"

"No, but I'm sure you'll help me get past this, right?"

"You take as long as you need. I'm here for you."

I gave her a little squeeze, and I was grateful that it was dark, and she couldn't see the tears in my eyes. It was difficult enough dealing with Gina on a friendship status, but now, she wasn't talking to me at all. I was dead to her, and it hurt like a bitch. Right now, I didn't ever want to go back to the mountain.

In the morning, I made sure that I properly satisfied Nadia before I climbed out of the bed and headed for the light of day. The others had already unloaded the supplies out of the van which included Christmas gifts that I had brought for each of them. I noticed the gifts were piled up just inside the mine in the area they used as the living room. This room was too cold to use during the winter months. I stepped outside, and everyone was gathered around the warm fire waiting patiently for Ludmila to finish cooking a large pan of sausages. The first thing I noticed was the tiny face that peaked out from under the blanket that Klaudia had in her arms.

"Klaudia! Congratulations! Can I see the new addition?"

"Absolutely!"

Klaudia tried to get up but lost her balance. Aleksander was quick to steady her.

"Are you all right?" I asked. She looked frail.

"I'm okay. I've been losing weight, and the baby zaps a lot of my strength," she replied.

"We are very grateful that you have brought some food. Klaudia has been breast feeding. She thought it best because she didn't want to dry up and run out of formula. Between her breast and the canned formula, the baby has not had to go without."

"I'm sorry that it took me so long to come. The weather has been particularly bad in our state."

"You're here now. That's all that matters," Dominik replied.

"Would you like to hold her?" Klaudia asked.

"May I?"

She smiled and handed the tiny infant over to me. I carefully took her into my arms. She was beautiful, like her mother. "What is her name?"

"Elena. It means rock. We want her to be strong like her father." Klaudia smiled at Dominik.

"I think her mother is very strong," I commented.

"I agree. You should have seen her give birth—like a trooper. She wouldn't take any medication for pain."

"I thought we should save it for when someone really needs it," she answered in her defense.

"You see? A trooper." Dominik placed his arm over her shoulders and kissed her on the temple.

"When was she born?"

"December twenty first."

"A Christmas baby."

"Yes. Which reminds me," Dominik added, "You brought us gifts?"

"Yes. I know it's a little late, but we can still celebrate."

"Tonight, we will party," Stanislaw announced.

I interrupted. "I hope you will open the gifts before I get too drunk."

"You are such a light weight," Stanislaw commented.

"Well, that maybe so, but I like to keep my wits about me. I don't like to disappoint Nadia."

At that moment, Nadia emerged from the mine. "What about me?"

She walked over and stood next to me. I was rocking back and forth with the baby cradled in my arms. "I told them I don't want to get too inebriated because then I can't satisfy you."

"You're a lightweight."

Everyone at the fire laughed.

I kissed her on the cheek. "I guess I am."

I spent the next hour fawning over the baby while the gypsies had their fill of sausage, eggs, and bread. Nadia fed me from her plate and then grabbed seconds.

Everyone seemed content. Niko was usually quiet.

"Niko, how have you been?"

"I have been counting the days until I can come to the mountain and meet a nice girl. How many girls are there?"

I chuckled. "A few. Most are older than you are, but it's not unusual for there to be an age difference in couples on the mountain. Ian married Wanda, and she is only seventeen."

"How old is Ian?"

"Twenty-six, I think, maybe twenty-seven."

"Like you!" Nadia declared.

"Yes, like me, although I won't be twenty seven for a few weeks."

"We should have a party!" Nadia squealed.

"We're already having a party tonight for Christmas."

"So, we'll have another one tomorrow!"

"It's settled then," Ludmila announced.

The rest of the day, everyone prepared for the party. I had brought some new tarps to use to block the wind and the view outside the mine where the fire was located. The old tarp was tattered and torn from age. The new tarp was black and blended with the rock, where as the old tarp was bright blue and drew attention to the mine by day. I knew from the stories that had been told of the past that there was the occasional soul that wandered into these parts, and the gypsies were not opposed to killing in order to protect their home. There were four graves crudely marked not far from the entrance to the mine. I always made it a point of taking a walk when I visited with the express purpose of checking to see if there were any new markers. This trip was no different. I took the opportunity to steal Klaudia away for an afternoon walk. It was a sunny day, and there was no wind. She looped her arm through mine as we strolled through the snow that had once been pristine, but now had assorted animal and bird tracks criss-crossing in all directions.

"I miss my jogging days," Klaudia said casually.

"You'll jog again when the weather gets warmer. I have to admit, when I saw you, I was surprised at how tired you look."

"It comes with the territory when you have a newborn."

"I want you to know that I'm happy to watch your little one, so you can take a nap. I'll do it every day if you want."

"That's sweet of you. You're staying for six months, right?" She cracked a smile.

"The way things are going at home, I wouldn't mind staying six months."

"What's wrong at home?"

"Well, I've been craving Gina lately, and she's in a full blown relationship with Evan. I made the mistake of disclosing the fact that the gypsies think me and Gina are married in front of Evan, so now I imagine he knows that Gina and I were intimate the last time we were here. Gina hates me. In the meantime, I've been in a relationship with Victoria. I think I told you about her."

"Wasn't she the girl who you said shot Ian?"

"Right. Well, I broke it off with her yesterday, as she was seeing me off. I left her in tears."

"Wow. I can see why you'd want to stay away."

"At least Nadia gets my full attention while I'm here."

"And that's a good thing. These last few nights, she's been doing watch with her brothers because I think she and Niko were starting to get close again."

"They haven't done anything, have they?"

"I don't think so. I overheard them talking about a week ago in the mine. Nadia was saying how much she missed you and your company."

"She said she missed my company?"

Klaudia laughed. "She said she missed your fantastic dick."

"Ah, now that sounds more like something she would say."

"You know Nadia; she's never had a problem speaking her mind."

"No filter. I know."

"Anyway, Niko told her if it was a dick she wanted, he would gladly volunteer."

"Heavy flirting."

"Yeah, well, I heard her tell him that she was holding out for you, but if you didn't show up soon, she would take him up on the offer. Then it was quiet. I don't know if they were kissing or fondling each other or what, but I backed up a few feet and acted as if I was coming down the tunnel. I even coughed. I acted surprised when I found them together. They came up with some lame excuse that they were looking for Niko's earring."

"I guess it was a good thing I came when I did."

"Yes, you should make a point of selling the mountain to Niko and Nadia. Tell them about all the options they will have there."

"I'll do that." I stopped and stared at the grave markers.

"What are you doing?"

"Just checking. There's still four."

"We haven't seen anyone in a long time."

"You never told me. Didn't these souls arrive in a car or a van?"

"The lake is deeper on the far side."

"You put the vehicles in the lake?"

"Not me, but Aleksander and Dominik did."

At that moment, the wind picked up.

"We should head back," I suggested.

"Yeah. Elena is probably awake by now."

"I'm sure Dominik can handle her."

"Are you kidding? He's never even changed her diaper! None of the men would stoop so low. In their opinion, changing diapers is a woman's job."

"Maybe I should do it a few times to show them up."

She squeezed my arm. "You do that."

The rest of the afternoon went by rather quickly. Nadia and I gave each other a bath. We would have bathed together, but the tub was too small. Afterwards, we snuggled under the blankets for warmth and that led to sex. Sex with Nadia was always an adventure. There wasn't anything she wouldn't try, so it didn't surprise me when she asked me to tie her up and punish her. She had the rope ready, so she must have been planning it for some time. I didn't like inflicting pain, but I did enjoy fucking her when she was tied down and unable to move. Afterwards, she complained that her shoulders hurt from struggling against the rope in the throes of passion, so I gave her a nice massage. That just made her horny, and before I knew it, I was on her again. After the second time we made love, we took a nap.

I woke before Nadia. I knew if I woke her, she would do her best to get me riled up again. I had brought two full boxes of condoms, but I wasn't looking to use them all in three days. Besides, I wanted to check on Klaudia and the baby. I slipped quietly out of the bed, dressed, and headed for the entrance to the mine.

Edyta was cooking, and the men were already drinking. I was told that Ludmila was napping. Klaudia was nursing the baby. She pulled Elena away from her breast as I sat down beside her.

"Have you had a nap today?" I asked.

"No," she answered sullenly.

"Let me take the baby, so you can rest."

"Leave her. She's fine. Have a drink!" Dominik said cheerfully.

"No, thank you," I replied. I proceeded to take the tiny bundle from Klaudia.

"What are you, a sissy?" he bellowed.

"No. I'm a man who's not afraid to do what you deem to be woman's work."

"Tending babies _is_ woman's work!" Stanislaw snapped back.

"Look, I don't want to fight with you. Let's just say I would rather spend my time with this precious angel than with a bottle of alcohol."

"You tell 'em," Klaudia replied. She bent over and kissed me on the cheek. "Thank you, Nate." Klaudia shot Dominik an evil look and disappeared inside the mine.

By dinner time, the boys were pretty well lit. They filled their bellies with the roasted chicken and mashed potatoes and went right back to drinking. Nadia and I washed the dishes and then joined the women and children in one of the rooms away from the entrance and the bitter cold. They were sitting on a blanket on the floor playing cards.

"I'll be right back." I went back to the large room at the entrance where the gifts had been placed. I picked up two large gifts that were identical in size and shape and carried them back to the room. I placed one in front of Klaudia, and the other, I slid across the floor to Ludmila. "I wanted to get four, but Burns said there were only two left in the store. He said he didn't have the time to go to Wyatt where the other store was located. Anyway, Klaudia, I want you to use this one for the baby. Ludmila, the second is for whoever needs it the most on any given night."

"What is it?" Roman asked.

"Open it and find out," I urged.

Roman stepped forward and helped Ludmila tear off the wrapping paper. Klaudia peeled hers back just moments later.

"What is it?" Roman asked again.

"It's a heater," Klaudia and Edyta replied in unison.

"Yes. It's electric, so you don't have to worry about fumes."

"Nate! We don't have electricity here!" Klaudia's said in a high pitched voice.

I grinned. "You do now."

They all froze and stared at me as if I were an idiot.

"Allow me to explain. Wanderer, the soul I told you about, purchased a generator for the clan that lives in the caverns in the desert. It runs on gas, and it is quiet and efficient. It really changed their lives."

"You got us a generator?" Nadia blurted out.

I tried to hold back my smile, but eyes gave me away.

"You _did_ get is a generator," Klaudia surmised.

"I did."

"What's a generator?" Roman asked.

"Electricity!" Edyta crooned. "It will make the heaters work!"

"Will they heat this room?" Niko asked.

"They should, provided we use something to keep the heat from escaping into the passageway."

"I'll get a blanket!" Nadia said as she jumped up.

"Niko, you come with me." Niko and I went back to the main room and picked up the remainder of the gifts.

"We should move the couch," Niko suggested.

"Good idea." I dropped the presents onto the couch, and Niko did the same. On the count of three, we lifted the couch and carried it to the room where the ladies were. Nadia returned with an old worn bedspread, a hammer, and some nails.

Ludmila and Nadia worked together to hang the blanket while Roman retrieved the bassinette from Klaudia's room for the baby. Klaudia didn't like to put the baby down due to the cold. She always kept her precious cargo tight to her breast. The promise of heat might mean she could allow herself just an ounce of freedom.

Niko and I marched outside to the van. I noticed the men were missing. "Where are they?"

"They probably went hunting."

I was alarmed. "Hunting? Are you insane? They're drunk. They'll probably end up shooting each other!"

"Nah, Ludmila had me take the bullets out of the guns when they started drinking."

I burst out laughing.

"We do it all the time. By the time they get back, they'll be tired and pass out in their beds. In the morning, they'll wake up hungover, and they never talk about it."

"I guess I'm glad that I'm a sissy."

Niko and I lifted the large box that had been marked, "Do Not Touch" out of the van and carried it to the entrance of the mine. We went to work getting the generator out of the box and positioning it just outside the entrance but far enough away from the fire so as not to be a recipe for disaster. I had the forethought to make sure I brought several heavy duty extension cords. A half hour later, we were hooked up and running, and we were all sitting comfortably in the room drinking wine. Everyone opened their gifts. I brought new sheets for each of the couples and for the kids as well. I also gave each of the ladies a new sweater, just as I had done back home. The men would each receive a fishing pole, in the morning, once they were firing on all cylinders again. Each of the children were given a Nintendo Game Boy with two games each. Adrianna got Tweety and the Magic Gems and Barbie at the Races. Roman received a baseball game and Super Mario Bros. Niko got Tony Hawk's Pro Skater and Tetris. At first, they had no idea what I had given them, but once I showed them how to play the games, they were all very excited. I had considered getting Nadia something more private and personal, but I didn't want her to think that our relationship was more than it was. While the kids played with their new games which could be recharged with the power from the generator, the rest of us played cards.

It was late when the men burst in like gangbusters into our toasty room.

"What the hell is a generator doing out there?" Aleksander blurted out.

"Hey! It's warm in here!" Stanislaw mumbled as he stumbled in behind his son.

"Who was supposed to tend the fire? It almost out!" Dominik demanded.

"Oh, shit!" Nadia replied. Obviously, she was the guilty party.

"I'll take care of it," I said as I scrambled to me feet.

"I'll help," Nadia replied.

By the time we returned, one of the heaters was gone along with Dominik, Klaudia, Adrianna, and the baby. I thought we, too, should call it a night. Nadia seemed more than happy to get me into bed. I wasn't surprised when she went down on me to persuade me to give her what she wanted—and I did. Twice.


	70. Chapter 70

**Hurricane Sandy!**

**For those who don't know, I live in Virginia Beach. We are in the direct path of the hurricane although landfall is supposed to occur in NJ, the state where I grew up. I hope this storm doesn't do as much damage as they are predicting, and I pray that all of my friends up north will be safe. **

**I was supposed to be going there this Friday for a weekend of friends, food, and a few book sales. Looks like I may have to postpone it, again.**

**In the meantime, I've spent some time writing Nate's Diary. I hope you all enjoy the chapter.**

**I love you all.**

A CLOSE CALL

01/23/2003 – It's been a week since I arrived at the mines. I was pleased to find that Klaudia has given birth to a beautiful baby girl named Elena. Klaudia is someone who came from a normal background and fell in love with a gypsy. She changed her whole life to be with him. She is probably the most loyal person I have ever met. Dominik is chauvinistic like his father and his brother. I see his macho views wearing on their relationship. I am thinking of offering Klaudia the opportunity to return to the mountain with me, but I doubt the gypsies would allow her to take the children, and she would not go without them. I feel for her. I know she truly loves her husband.

Nadia has been predictable. Sex is always on her mind. Lord knows I am a sexual person, but there are times when I don't feel attracted to her. She's not ugly in any way, shape, or form. She's just often very child-like. I have to laugh. Wanda has the body of a seventeen year old, and I'll admit there are times when her own adolescence is apparent; however, I can sit down with her and have a mature conversation. Gina on the other hand, although behind on her schooling, always seemed to have the maturity of an adult. Come to think of it, so did Victoria. I suppose that comes with having to fend for one's self. Nadia has always had her family around her, and I suppose they have always treated her as a child. Lack of schooling also probably plays a large part.

I miss Gina. I miss Victoria, too, but I have hope that she and I will always be friends. It's how we started out, and even though our relationship progressed the way it did, I don't think we ever really lost the friendship part.

I spoke to Burns four days ago, and he filled me in on the latest gossip on the mountain. Gina and Holly had a fist fight over Evan. It seemed Evan got drunk and hit on Holly, and she was only too happy to oblige him. They were making out, and Gina went ballistic. According to Burns, Holly didn't back down, and so Gina punched her in the face. Holly grabbed her by the hair, and then he said Gina really went nuts. It apparently took both Burns and Rob to pull Gina off of her. I had told Burns, before I left, about Gina's threat to leave the mountain if she and Evan broke up. Burns said that he locked Gina in the root cellar for her own good. I asked him if I should come home, and he thought it might be best if I stayed away just a little longer. He hoped that after Evan slept off his hangover, he would be receptive to talking it out with Gina. He said he would have a talk with Evan explaining his reasons for locking her up.

I asked about Victoria, and Burns said she was very subdued. He said she took one of the weapons and went for a walk in the woods alone. He was concerned, but she came back unscathed; although, he said the bullets she had taken with her were gone. Other than that, he said there wasn't much else to tell.

He said Sarah missed me, and she wanted to know when I was coming home. At least, someone misses me.

Burns didn't offer up any news on Blake, and I was afraid to ask. As much as I wanted Victoria to be happy, I could live without the play by play on the Blake front.

It was a cold morning, and it once again looked like snow. As usual, I woke before Nadia. After writing a long entry into my journal, I dressed quickly and headed outside to the others. I learned that Stanislaw and Aleksander had gone fishing. I couldn't see how since the lake was frozen. Apparently, they were going ice fishing. Using a manual drill that I had brought to them years ago, they would drill holes in the ice in a circle and then pound it out with a hammer. That is where they retrieved their much needed water, and they also used the hole to fish. I was concerned that if the ice wasn't thick enough, they might fall through. My fears were not unfounded. Ludmila was in the middle of telling me a story about a time when Aleksander did fall through the ice. She explained that the men had the forethought to tie themselves together in the event such a thing did happen. She explained that when Aleksander fell through, the other two used their combined strength to pull him out and to safety.

No sooner had Ludmila finished her story when Adrianna exited the mine carefully carrying her little sister in her arms.

"Adrianna! What are you doing?" Edyta asked, clearly alarmed that the five year old was carrying her little sister without supervision.

"Mommy and Daddy are fighting," she said in a little voice.

"Oh, God," Edyta replied as she took the baby from Adrianna. "Nate, please go to her before Dominik does something he regrets," she pleaded.

"What does that mean?"

"One time, he lost it, and he hit her," Nadia replied. "Go!"

I needed no more explanation. I was off and running down the passageway with Nadia right behind me. As I got closer, I could hear them yelling at each other. As I stepped into the room, they both fell silent.

Then, Dominik turned to me. "This is all your fault!"

I looked at him in surprise. "My fault?"

"Why did you have to change the baby? That is woman's work!" he growled.

Klaudia blew up. "It's not woman's work!"

He focused his attention back to Klaudia. "There are four women here. Why do I have to change a diaper?"

"You are her father! Don't you love your daughter?"

"Of course, I love her. I provide for her."

"How do you provide for her? You don't work. You don't cook or clean. The food is brought in by Nate. You don't do anything except sit on your ass and drink and fuck me when _you_ feel like it!" she bellowed.

Dominik raised his hand to hit her. I rushed forward and stepped between them.

Klaudia didn't back down. "Go ahead; hit me!" she dared. "You'd rather prove that you are a man by hitting your wife than showing your own family how much you love them."

I had to interject before he slaughtered her. "Dominik," I had my arms positioned in a manner to stop him if he lunged at her. "Before you answer her, think about how much you love each other. Both of your beautiful girls were created out of the love you have for each other. Klaudia is not asking you to go out and risk you life among the souls. She just wants you to share the duties of caring for your daughters. It is very common for the father to share in all the responsibilities including bathing, feeding, and diaper changing. Is your obstinance worth risking your marriage?"

Dominik looked past me at his wife. "So, if I change her damn diaper, you'll be happy?"

Klaudia was standing a few feet behind me with her arms folded tightly across her chest. "I expect you to do it more than once," she said adamantly.

"And for the record, I don't fuck you whenever it suits me. There are plenty of times when it was you who wanted it."

"And I've been turned down!" she declared.

I found this hard to believe. Klaudia had gained a few pounds from the pregnancy, but she was still a sexy lady. I can honestly say that I would have a hard time saying no to her if she approached me.

"When did I turn you down?"

"You turned me down just last week! I backed up to you, and I even went so far as to put your hand on my breast!"

"You just had a baby a few weeks ago! I didn't know your were ready for sex. I thought you were just cold!"

This was getting too personal. I needed to extricate myself from the situation.

"Are you two all right?"

"I don't know. Are you going to change diapers, Dominik?"

"They will laugh at me," he said in his defense.

"_They_ are narrow minded," I replied.

"Fine, but I expect you to take up for me," he responded.

"Not a problem," I assured him.

"I meant _her_," he said, pointing at his wife.

"I have always stood by your side," she reminded him.

"Nadia, come on. I think they need to be alone." I turned to Klaudia. "We will take care of the girls while you two settle your differences. No hurry." I shot Dominik a sly look.

As Nadia and I exited the room, I heard Dominik say, "I love you, miláčku." I knew this meant "darling" since Nadia had called me this many times over the years.

Nadia and I were headed back to the mine entrance when Roman intercepted us. He was out of breath.

Hurry!" he puffed. "It's Papa! He fell through the ice, and Aleksander can't pull him out!"

"Get Dominik!" I hollered, and I took off running—again.

My heart was pounding in my chest. How ironic was it that the very thing we talked about this morning would happen? I could see Aleksander lying flat on the ice about twenty feet from Stanislaw, who was in the water clinging to the edge of the ice where he had fallen through.

"Aleksander!" I yelled. Ludmilla was standing at the edge of the frozen lake crying.

"Don't come out here!" he hollered.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Get rope!"

I turned and saw Dominik barreling across the field with a lot of rope slung over his shoulder.

"Hurry!" I called to him. Niko, Roman, Edyta, and Nadia followed behind him. Dominik reached me quickly. He dropped the rope on the ground. "You are smaller than me. I need you to get to Aleksander and tie the rope around him. Do you think you can do that?"

"What if the ice cracks, and we fall in?"

"Whatever you do, don't let go of him."

"Right."

"Here, tie the middle of this rope around your waist," he instructed. He took the other end and walked to the closest tree, which wasn't very big and tied one end of the rope to it. I hoped it would be strong enough to hold us if we both ended up falling in. I took the remaining rope and slung it over my shoulder.

"As soon as he is secure, give me a thumbs up, and I'll start pulling you back."

"Okay."

"Nate?" Nadia said in a little voice.

"Yeah?"

"Be careful."

I shot her a knowing glance and turned toward the lake. I looked past Aleksander at Stanislaw. He was floundering. He was weak, and it was obvious that Aleksander's brute strength was the only thing keeping him from going under. Niko and Roman were now standing behind Dominik with both hands on the rope, ready to pull.

I stepped cautiously onto the ice.

"Get on your hands and knees, so your weight will be more evenly distributed," Dominik advised.

I did as he suggested, and then I began to crawl toward Aleksander. Suddenly, I heard Ludmila cry out, "Aleksander, pull him up! He's going under!"

"I'm trying!" he hollered.

"I'm right behind you!" I called out. I reached out and grabbed him by the foot. I heard the ice crack. "Shit!" I froze. I couldn't risk the time it would take to tie the rope around him. I slowly slid forward until I was lying on my belly, and I pulled on his legs.

"Pull me back!" he yelled.

"I'm trying!"

I wrapped my arms around each of his legs. My head was by his knees. I lifted my head and yelled, "Pull!" as loud as I could. I felt the rope around my waist go taught. My body moved less than a foot, then stopped.

"Do you have a good hold of Aleksander?" Dominik yelled.

I heard the ice crack. "Yes! Pull!"

The line went tight again, and I grabbed a tight hold of each leg. We started to move, and I heard the crack again. My body began to turn laterally because the knot for the rope was at my hip. This was only making it harder because it was like pulling a ten foot plank sideways. I needed to shorten our length. I got to my knees, and the rope tugged, pulling me apart from Aleksander.

"Stop!" I bellowed.

"What are you doing?" Aleksander growled.

I crawled quickly to him and plopped on his back. I curled my arms under his armpits and grabbed a hold of the rope that was tied to Stanislaw. I was able to see him for the first time, and he looked like he was dead. I prayed that one of the girls had grabbed the 'Heal'.

Dominik and the boys started to pull again, and we were sliding sideways like before, only we were moving a little bit faster. Then, we stopped again.

"What now?" I asked.

"It's Stanislaw. He's stuck. I can't pull him out of the hole."

"God damn it!" I hissed. I got to my feet and took off running. I hoped that Aleksander was close enough to the shore to be able to pull. My rope was connected to the boys, so I knew they could pull us both if I could just lift him up enough get him onto the ice.

I got to my knees at the edge of the hole, slid my forearms under his armpits, and locked my hands together. I was in a precarious situation because I basically had one shot to pull him out, or his weight was going to pull me in, too.

I lifted my head and looked up at the sky. "Pull!" I bellowed, not knowing if anyone could hear me. I felt the rope tighten, and I pulled with my core. Stanislaw rose out of the water. I twisted my body, and Stanislaw flopped onto the ice. Only his feet were still dangling in the water. The edge of the hole began to break away. I stood up quickly, grabbed him by his frozen hands, and began to pull. I could hear the ice cracking, and I assumed it was coming from the hole. I backed up about ten feet dragging Stanislaw with me. Little did I know; the cracking sound was actually coming from behind me.

Before I knew it, I was in the water. I had never felt anything so cold in my life. Stanislaw was still lying motionless on the ice. I could hear Nadia freaking out from the shore.

"Get Stanislaw to safety!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

I did my best to remain afloat by leaning over the edge of the ice much the same way someone would lean over the edge of a pool. My hands were wet, and when I laid them on the ice, they stuck. I was in pain as I watched Stanislaw slowly slide past me.

I lowered my head and closed my eyes. I could only hope that if I died, that Stanislaw wasn't already dead or it would be for nothing. My mind quickly raced to Gina. I would die with her hating me.

"No!" I heard Nadia scream. I thought maybe I was hallucinating or possibly going into to shock as I lifted my head and saw the slender Nadia skating across the ice toward me. She got to her knees in front of me just as I had done to Stanislaw, and she grabbed me under my armpits. "Come on! Pull yourself out!" she demanded. "Don't you break my heart!"

Her words gave me the strength and conviction I needed. I ripped my hands from the ice and grabbed the rope that was attached to my waist and pulled with all my might. Nadia had a firm hold of me, and she pulled so hard she fell back on her ass with a thud. The ice immediately began to crack.

I was out of the water, but we were not out of danger. "Nadia! Don't move!" I ordered. She wasn't wearing a rope like I was. If she fell in, we could lose her under the ice. I crawled away from the open hole and around the cracked ice that Nadia was precariously sitting on. I was behind her now. "Nadia, I'm right behind you. I need you to put your hands up over your head and lie back," I instructed in a calm voice. I guess in my head, I felt that if I stayed calm, the ice would cooperate with me.

"Nate, I'm scared."

"I know you are, sweetheart. Trust me." I was too focused on Nadia to see where Aleksander and Stanislaw were. I could only hope they had been pulled to safety.

Nadia raised her arms over her head, and as she started the lean back, the ice under her butt broke away. I grabbed her wrists as her bottom half hit the water. I flexed my biceps like a weightlifter, and she slid across the ice toward me. I pulled her into my arms and whispered into her ear. "It's all right. I've got you."

"Good, don't let go."

"I won't."

I was on my knees when suddenly, a sharp tug pulled me to my side. I was lying on my left side with Nadia's back pulled tightly against my chest. We were gliding very quickly across the ice. It was evident that Aleksander had joined Dominik on the shore and was pulling the rope.

It only took a minute to pull us to safety. I was freezing. My legs were shaking, and my feet were numb. Ludmila and Edyta were attending to Stanislaw. I stood up and immediately collapsed to my knees.

"Nate!" Nadia cried.

"I—I can't stand up," I murmured. I could literally feel my strength being zapped from my body.

"Niko and Roman, stay with Nate and Nadia. We'll carry Stanislaw back to the mine, and then we'll come back for Nate," Dominik ordered.

"Yes, sir," Niko replied.

Nadia was on her knees next to me. She was wet from the ass down to her feet. I couldn't walk, but my concern was for her.

"Nadia, how are you feeling?"

She was crying, and she let out a nervous laugh. "I'm fine. Don't you pass out on me. Do you hear?"

"I'm numb."

"We'll get you into the mine where the heaters are. You'll be warm in no time; I promise."

"Nadia, I want you to take care of you," I said in a weak voice.

"Ogier, you have been the only thing I can count on for the last four years!" As she said it, her body shivered.

I looked up at Niko. "Take her back. Take her back, now."

"Dominik told us to stay with you," he protested.

"Do it, or I won't take you to the mountain. Do you hear me?"

"Okay!" Niko replied. "Come on, Nadia."

"No!" she screeched.

"Help me, Roman," Niko ordered his younger sibling.

Roman obeyed, and they each took an arm and pulled it over their shoulders, so Nadia was between them, and they dragged Nadia, kicking and screaming, toward the mine.

I was alone—barely conscious. I thought about my mother. Would she be happy to see me? Or would she be angry that I risked my life to save an old man who was pigheaded and seemed to care more about his own selfish wants than those of his own family? My mind shifted to Burns. Burns would miss me. Maria. _Oh God! Maria. _I couldn't imagine the grief she would feel if she found out I was dead. As I thought these thoughts, my vision grew hazy, and then I must have passed out.

"Nate?"

It was Nadia's voice.

"Nate? Please wake up."

I opened my eyes, and I saw her face.

"Klaudia! He's waking up!" She leaned forward and tenderly kissed my lips. "Can you hear me?"

"Nadia."

"Yes!" She hugged me as I lay there. "I was so afraid."

"How is Stanislaw?"

Klaudia answered. "He hasn't woken up. We gave him some heal. He's breathing, but he's unconscious. How are you feeling?"

"I'm cold."

Nadia pulled her sweater over her head and stripped down to her panties.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm going to warm you up." With that, she lifted the comforter and climbed in with me. Her body was warm.

"Turn to your side, so you can snuggle into my breasts," she instructed. I did as I was told, and she wrapped her arm around me. I buried my face in her breasts. "Mmmm."

Nadia stroked my head. I could feel my dick responding.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Three hours. Are you hungry?"

"I could eat."

Klaudia again replied. "Edyta is making soup. I'll go and see if I can get some for you." Klaudia left as soon as she finished her statement.

I began to kiss Nadia's neck and soon found my way to her lips. We were in mid kiss when Ludmila entered the room.

"Is Stanislaw awake?" she asked.

Nadia and I broke the kiss. "No, Mama. He's still asleep. Nate is awake. He says he's still cold, but he's hungry."

"Hungry for what?" she said sarcastically.

I didn't know that Stanislaw was in the room. I sat up and realized that we were in Klaudia and Dominik's room. "I'm sorry. I thought we were in Nadia's room."

"We put you both in this room because it was already warm. Klaudia kept the heater on for the baby. We just brought the second heater in here to help," Nadia explained. "We can go back to my room if you are feeling better."

"No. It's nice in here—you are warm."

At that moment, the baby, who was nestled in her cradle, began to cry. Klaudia and Dominik entered together carrying two bowls of soup and sliced French bread. Klaudia quickly set the soup down. "I'm sorry. I need to get the baby," she said apologetically.

Dominik walked over to the cradle and picked up the infant. "Don't worry, miláčku. I've got her."

Klaudia looked surprised, and then, she smiled at him. She turned her attention back to me. "I brought some chicken soup." She picked up the tray with the soup and set it on the floor next to me.

"Thank you, Klaudia."

"Why isn't Stanislaw awake yet? We gave you both the 'Heal'. How long does it take?" Klaudia asked.

_They gave me heal. Ahhh. That explains my erection. _"I don't know. How does one heal cold? Obviously, his body temperature dropped dramatically. I imagine sleep is the body's way of protecting his organs from shutting down permanently, much the same way hibernation does for a bear."

"Maybe Ludmilla should strip down and climb in with him like I did." Nadia suggested. "Nate said he was still cold when he woke up."

"Ludmilla would never undress in front of us," Dominik declared.

"Well, I'm feeling much better now."

"Good. Eat your soup and then get dressed. We'll talk to Ludmilla about lying with Stanislaw to help warm him."

I found that I was pretty hungry. I scarfed down the soup in record time. Nadia and I dressed quickly. The 'Heal' had obviously done its job because I felt great. The only problem was I couldn't get rid of the raging hard-on in my pants. I remembered this same thing happening when my jaw had been broken, although it didn't last nearly as long as this. Then again, who knows how much they may have poured down my throat. I was horny, plain and simple, and Nadia's constant state of arousal didn't help matters. I knew that as soon as we got to her room, we'd be all over each other.

I wondered about Stanislaw. If he was healing, then he should be sporting wood as well. I walked over to where he lay motionless, only the sound of his steady breathing indicating that he was, indeed, alive. I lifted the blanket exposing his body, and sure enough, his dick was flying at full mast. I smiled.

"What?" Nadia asked.

"I think he'll be okay. His color is good," I said, covering the real reason for the peek under the covers. "Just give him a little more time. He was in the water a lot longer than I was."

We encountered Ludmilla at the door as we were leaving.

"Dominik says I should lay with Stanislaw."

"Yes, your naked body will warm him much faster than the blanket or the heaters."

"You have to leave then."

"Don't worry. We were on our way out."

I took Nadia by the hand and led her back to her room. It was cold compared to where we had just come from.

"I'll try to bring a few more heaters the next time I come," I muttered to myself.

I stripped down and knelt on the bed.

"Ogier, did you miss me?" she asked playfully as she grabbed a hold of my wood.

"Very much, princess. I thought I would die in that water."

"But you didn't, and now you are here with me."

"And I want you." I lifted her sweater over her head. "Get under the blanket, so I can make love to you."

I spent the next hour kissing, caressing, and satisfying my own selfish needs. Nadia was thrilled to receive the attention. If it was up to her, we'd never get dressed. After the second time I climaxed, my dick became flaccid. Nadia was lying in my arms. I was happy to have her with me.

"Would you like to check on your father?"

"Yes. I know you said he'll be all right, but I will feel better when he wakes up."

"Come on. I need to call Burns and tell him of the day's events."

We dressed and headed to the room we had previously set up as the living room. One of the heaters had been moved to this room for the baby, so it was significantly warmer than Nadia's room. I was surprised to find Dominik changing Elena's diapers. I couldn't hide the smile on my face.

"No laughing," he warned.

"I'm not laughing. I'm impressed."

"Yeah, well, I'm not even sure I'm doing it right."

"I'll help you," I offered.

"No, Nate. I'll help him. You go call Burns."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure, go."

I left the mine and took a walk toward the lake to make my call. The phone rang and rang and then went to voicemail. I left a brief message and hung up. I stood in place and gazed out at the lake. There was a myriad of holes in the ice. It occurred to me that each hole was a portal to the grim reaper. The hole furthest out nearly took Stanislaw. Hell, it's possible he could still die, or worse, live on and be brain dead.

The middle hole had my name on it. Thanks to Nadia, I would live to see another day. Just a few feet from my hole was the hole that could have easily taken Nadia. It was a miracle that we all survived.

I looked up at the sky. "Mom, I don't know how much you had to do with it, but thank you."

My phone began to ring. I answered it quickly.

"Burns?"

"Yeah, sorry. I left my phone in the bedroom. Sarah heard it and brought it to me. How are things in Gypsyland?"

"Well, I almost died today, but then again, I wasn't the only one."

"Oh my God! What happened?"

"It all started when Stanislaw fell through the ice at the lake."

"What was he doing on the ice?"

"Fishing."

"Jesus, what was he thinking?"

"I guess he was thinking that he could try out the new fishing pole that I gave him for Christmas."

"Nate, you can't blame yourself. Most people wouldn't stand on a frozen lake to try out a new fishing pole."

"Believe me; I don't blame myself."

"Then why were you the one out there on the ice rescuing him? Please, tell me you weren't out there with him."

"Aleksander was with him, but he was laid out on the ice trying to keep himself from falling through while holding the line that was keeping Stanislaw afloat. Dominik asked me to go because I weigh less than he does, and he is stronger, so he could pull us in. It was a good plan, only Stanislaw was unconscious, and he got caught up on the edge of the hole, and we couldn't pull him out. Aleksander was attached to Stanislaw, but my rope was the one that Dominik was holding. It was only right that I go and pull him out."

"And you fell through the ice," Burns surmised.

"Yes, but I got him out before I fell in. I told them to pull him and Aleksander in to the shore first. I wasn't even sure if Stanislaw was alive at that point. He was frozen like a popsicle."

"So, who pulled you out?"

"My gypsy lover. She was hell bent on saving my ass."

"Sounds like a harrowing experience."

"It was. I hope I never have to go through that again. The water was so damn cold! My body was so numb. By the time they got me and Nadia to shore, I couldn't even stand on my own two legs."

"I'm hoping all of your limbs are intact."

"They are, but I gotta tell you—if it wasn't for the 'Heal', I might still be unconscious, and it's possible that I may have lost some of my toes if not the whole foot."

"You know, I'm not exactly comfortable knowing that you keep putting yourself at risk for those people. We need you here on the mountain."

"You've been putting yourself at risk for us for the last six years."

"I'd like to think that I am a part of this family—and so are you. Now come home."

"I don't know. I don't really think I'm wanted on the mountain."

"How can you say that?"

"Tell me; is Victoria pining away for me?"

"Did you really want her to?"

I thought back to my last conversation with her. "No," I concluded.

"Then don't get all pissy because Blake is making his move, and she's being receptive to it. She still comes to me every day and asks about you."

"Well, if she's so worried, then why hasn't she called me?"

"I could ask you the same thing. If you are so worried about her, then why haven't you called her? I talked to her yesterday, and she said that even if you don't want a relationship, she will always love you, and she considers you a close friend."

"She said that?"

"Yes, she also asked me if you asked about her the last time I talked to you."

"What did you tell her?"

"I didn't lie to her. I told her that you want her to move on, and you felt that no contact would probably be best. I told her that you are still thinking about her."

"Thanks."

"So, when are you coming home, Nate?"

"I don't now—soon."

"That's pretty vague."

"I'm sorry. I'm not ready to face Gina."

"So, the truth is this is not about Victoria at all. This is about Gina."

I didn't answer because the truth was, it _was_ about Gina. I couldn't see her knowing that she hated me.

"Nate, you need to get over her. She and Evan have been together for a while now."

I finally found my voice. "So—she and Evan are okay?"

"So far as I can tell. I don't pry into their business."

"Oh—well—good for her," I said in an unconvincing tone.

"Buddy, you can't spend your life pining over women you can't have."

"I know. That's why I'm here with Nadia."

"But you don't love Nadia."

"No, but Nadia loves me."

"Victoria loved you."

"Loved—that's past tense."

"Hey, you're the one who dumped her."

"I 'dumped her' as you so eloquently put it because neither of us was happy."

"I beg to differ. Victoria was very happy to receive your love and devotion. You are the one who wasn't happy."

"Well, I'm happy here."

"Nate, you belong _here_."

"I'll come home—eventually."

"Promise you'll be home before Blake's birthday."

"I can't promise that."

"Dude, you're being obstinate."

"I have to go. I'll call you." I hung up before he could respond.

12


	71. Chapter 71

**So, a lot has happened since my last chapter was posted. For the Love of Brynn: Book 2 – The Moment of Truth is selling slowly but surely. My sales for book 1 have picked up since the new book came out. **

**I was in a car accident last week – rear ended – I'm okay. My neck is bothering me on the right side but it was bothering me before the accident so I figure it's probably from Jazzercise. I mean I didn't go to a doctor and I didn't miss any Jazzercise. I even bowled the night it happened. Maybe the fact that I wasn't expecting the hit, so I didn't tense up had something to do with it or maybe my neck and shoulder muscles are stronger than the average Joe because of all the exercise I do, I don't know. I just know, I'm not in any more pain than I am on any other given day considering my age. A good massage is always welcome! Oh yeah, and I'd like me old car back. It's comfortable, like me.**

**Anyway. **

**I've missed writing Nate's Diary, and it was nice to get back to it. Enjoy….and let me know what you think!**

SHE LOVES ME

01/27/03 – It's been four days since my near death experience. I've cheated death three times now if you include the beating that Ian gave me so many months ago. The next time, I may not be so lucky. I realized that in all three cases, it was "Heal" that saved my ass. Then again, without the invasion, I never would have been stuck in a hole in the woods with a broken leg, or hitting on a seventeen year old serving as the host to a ten thousand year old alien body, or visiting gypsies in an old abandoned mine. Hell, I'd probably be on Capitol Hill trying to break into politics and seducing every pretty intern that caught my eye. I digress. My political career is as good as it gets. I am the ruler of the mountain! So why am I here at the mines? Cause I'm chicken shit. That's why.

Stanislaw is okay. He woke up later that same day, and of course, they used it as another reason to celebrate. Nadia has been happier than I've ever seen her. Stanislaw mellowed after his brush with death and even offered Dominik a compliment when he came upon him changing Elena's diaper. Everyone seems to be happy—except me. I am missing home and the creature comforts that the mountain offers. I would have left already if it wasn't for the nagging fear of seeing Gina and feeling the sting of the hatred she harbors toward me in her eyes. Even Nadia can see that I am not as enthusiastic in the sack as I had been in the previous days.

As much as I am dreading it, I think I am going to have to go home.

"Nate, what's wrong?" Nadia asked after a lack luster session of sex.

"I don't know."

"You want to go home, don't you?"

"I do and I don't."

She snuggled into my chest. "Well, I don't want you to leave."

"I know you don't, but I'm running low on condoms." It was as good of an excuse as any.

"I still have the three you left me the last time you were here."

"Oh—good." I tried to sound enthusiastic. "But you know, eventually, I'm going to have to leave."

"I know, but maybe if I curb my sexual appetite, you could stay another week?"

I grinned.

"What? You don't think I can go without sex?"

"No, of course, I do. It's just the way you said it was so—eloquent—'curb your appetite.'"

"I guess you're rubbing off on me."

"Well, I'd like you to make me a promise."

"Sure. What?"

"Don't say, 'sure.' You don't know what I want you to do."

"Okay, not sure. Is that better?"

I smiled. "You know what I love about you?"

"My gorgeous body?" she crooned as she struck a seductive pose.

"Well, that, too. I love your willingness to please."

"That's because I love you."

"I think I have an unfair advantage considering I'm the only man you've ever been with."

"Not true. I've slept with Evan—and Carl."

I had forgotten. "Right." A sudden thought crossed my mind, and I had to know the answer. "Tell me something. Why didn't you fall in love with Evan?"

Nadia thought about it for a moment before she offered up an answer.

"Okay, I'll admit that Evan is a good lover, and he's a really sweet guy. He loves the whole foreplay thing, and that's really satisfying."

"Okay, you are not making me feel very adequate right now."

"Wait! I'm not done!"

I felt deflated. "Forget it. I'm sorry I asked."

"Nate!" She rolled me onto my back and straddled me. "The reason I love you is because you were my first."

"So, you're saying if Evan had taken your virginity, you would have fallen in love with him?"

"No, Ogier. I fell in love with you because you made it so there was no way Evan could measure up."

"I did?"

"Do you remember our first time?"

"All I remember was that I was afraid that Stanislaw was going to kill us, and I hoped that if I could please you, he'd let us live."

"I spent my teen years stuck in this mine dreaming that a handsome prince would come and take me away. When you and the others showed up here, I thought my dreams had come true, and you know what? Every six weeks or so, my dreams do come true."

"Nadia, you're breaking my heart."

"Ogier, I'm not trying to make you feel bad!"

"I just hate the thought of hurting you every time I walk away. One day, I'll walk away, and I won't be coming back. You understand that, don't you?"

Nadia wrapped her arms around me. "I know you won't let me go until you are sure it's time."

I smiled. "Nadia, you know me too well."

"I know that you are a leader, and you protect the ones you love." She smiled brightly. "And you love me, right?"

I nodded. "And I love you, right."

That afternoon, I was helping Dominick chop wood when my phone rang. I answered fully expecting it to be Burns. The female voice on the other end didn't identify herself, but I knew the voice immediately.

"Nate, please come home."

"I am home," I said coldly.

"I'm not mad at you anymore."

"It doesn't matter." I didn't want to sound defeated, but that's how it came out.

"Nathan, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but you tried to destroy my relationship with Evan."

I deliberately walked away from the woodpile. I didn't want Dominik to hear me blubbering like a sissy.

"What do you want me to say, Gina?"

"How about, 'I'm sorry.'"

I wanted to appease her, but the truth was I wasn't sorry. I wanted Gina to myself. Instead, I paused, unable to speak.

Gina took the opportunity to speak her mind. "Look, I wanted nothing more than to be the most important thing in your life, but we both know that I'm not."

"You are!" I blurted out.

"No. The girl of your dreams married another guy, so now you figure you can heal your bruised ego by taking me from Evan. It wouldn't be fair to Evan, and it wouldn't be fair to me."

"But I miss you," I confessed.

"I miss you, too. Now, come home."

"How's Tori?" I wasn't really sure why I asked other than to divert the attention away from the fact that I didn't want to talk about Evan anymore.

"Tori misses you, too. We all do. Your family needs you."

"What about her and Blake?"

"Does it matter? She's still going to love you just like I do, and we will never let Evan or Blake keep us from being there for you."

I felt comforted by those words. "I'll leave tonight."

I left that evening just after dinner. Nadia was more emotional than she had been in the past when I left. I guess she was getting used to having me in her bed. I reassured her that I'd be back in six to eight weeks and told her every day that passes is one day closer to when she'd be able to come to the mountain. That seemed to appease her.

I had only driven a few miles, maybe ten, when the engine light went on, and the van started to buck. I pulled to the side of the road. "Shit," I mumbled to myself. It was obvious that the van wasn't going to make it back to the mountain. I figured I'd turn around and go back to the mines. I started her back up and turned around only to have the bucking pull me to a stop once again. "Fuck!" I hollered as I punched the dashboard.

I threw my head back in disgust. "Piece of shit van!" Clearly, the van wasn't going anywhere. I knew I needed to abandon my vehicle and quick before someone came by and stopped to help. Soul's were prone to be considerate and proactive when another was in trouble. It was evident in Wanda's willingness to help others at any cost. Wanda—there was someone I hadn't thought of in a while. Not because I had forgotten her, but because it hurt too much to think about her absence in my life. I longed for the day she would return to the mountain.

I snapped myself out of my impending daydream starring the beautiful Wanda. I couldn't stay with the van, but I couldn't hang out in the woods waiting six or more hours for Evan or Carl to arrive either. I'd surely freeze to death. No, I would have to go back to the mine on foot and hope I didn't get caught. Hopefully, Burns could send someone to get me reasonably soon.

I stepped out of the van and was met with a bitter cold wind. I grabbed my scarf and gloves from the passenger seat and slammed the door shut. A light appeared in the distance. There was no time to dally. I ran for the woods as fast as I could. I didn't slow down until I reached the safety of the trees.

Just as I suspected, the car slowed to a stop. The driver got out and checked the van to see if anyone was inside. Satisfied that the driver was long gone, the man returned to his vehicle and drove away.

I needed to move along, but it was clear that I needed to stay away from the road. The trees offered little protection from the wind. The unfortunate fact was the gypsies had no electricity prior to this most recent trip, and therefore had no way of getting a weather forecast. Had I known that the forecast was for snow, I probably would have stayed another day or two. I had traveled only about a mile when the snow began to fall. It didn't fall in soft flakes but rather whipped at me sideways because of the wind. I wrapped my scarf over the top of my head in a feeble effort to protect my face and ears. The snow began to stick to the ground immediately because the ground was already frozen. Finally, I reached a stand of tall pines that offered some protection from the blizzard like conditions.

I reached into my pocket and retrieved my phone. I pulled my glove off with my teeth, so I could punch in Burns's number on speed dial. "Come on; answer," I said in a low voice as the phone continued to ring.

My heart started to pound as the voice mail message came across. "Burns here. Please leave a message, and I will get back to you."

As soon as the beep sounded, I spoke, "Burns, this is Nate. The van broke down, and I'm stuck. I'm only a few miles from the mine. It's snowing here, but I can't stay with the vehicle, so I'm going to try to go back to the gypsies. I hope you can send someone to get me in a few days. Call me when you get this message."

I drew in a deep sigh as I disconnected. The snow was falling steadily, and everything was dusted in white. I needed to get closer to the road, or I might miss the turn since the intersection only went in three directions. I knew there was a farmhouse on the other side of the road that was close to the turn, and I hoped the lights in the house would serve as a beacon to alert me to the proximity of the intersection. On a clear night, I could probably see the lights from the edge of the trees, but the snow severely skewed my field of vision.

I stepped out of my little protective cove and walked quickly toward the road, all the while, watching the road intently. I felt naked even though I was clothed from head to toe. I was used to the safety and security of the mountain.

Suddenly, I saw the lights of an oncoming car. I crouched down and prayed I might be mistaken for a rock or a tree stump in the darkness. I kept my head down and held my breath. My ears were attuned to the sound of the oncoming tires on the road top as the car approached and then passed by without slowing.

I sucked in a breath of frigid air as the muscles in my stomach relaxed. I stood up and nearly jumped out of my skin when my phone rang. I fished it out of my pocket.

"Hello?"

"Nate, it's me. I'm sorry I missed your call. I was working."

"You picked up a human?"

"No, but I was with the sheriff trying to find a couple that was spotted just outside of town. I left my phone in the truck."

"Well, I have bad news. The van broke down." At that moment, another set of headlights came into view over the hill. "Shit!" I said with panic in my voice as I once again dropped to the ground.

"What? What's wrong?" Burn asked.

"Car."

"Where are you?"

Instead of answering, I remained quiet and motionless, so I could listen for the car.

"Nate?"

"Wait," I replied.

After another twenty seconds, I heard the car pass without incident.

"Nate!" he yelled.

"It's okay. The car is gone."

"Where the hell are you?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. I'm a few miles from the mine, but it's snowing, and it's getting harder and harder to make out where I am."

"I'm coming to get you."

"Burns, you don't even know where I am."

"I'll take Carl with me. Stay put. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I can't stay put. I'm going to try to make it back to the mines."

"I'm leaving the sheriff's office now. I'm going to pick up Carl and head out. I'll call you when we get on the road."

"Okay." I disconnected. I decided to keep moving. A half hour later, I saw the lights from the farmhouse. "Thank God," I said to myself. Now, I needed to cross the road to continue my journey.

The good thing was the road I was turning onto was much less traveled than this road. The bad thing was there were homes I had to pass to get to my destination. I prayed I wouldn't be spotted. I surveyed the intersection. The coast was clear. I made a mad dash across the snow covered blacktop. Unfortunately, the edge of the road was slick, and I slid flat on my ass as I reached the other side. I scrambled to my feet and bolted into a dense cropping of trees and bushes. I was cursing to myself at my misfortune.

I was safe in the wooded cove, but my ass was wet, and my feet felt like cold, lead weights. I had been out here for more than an hour, and the snow was coming down at a steady rate. The roads were getting worse, and now I not only worried about myself, but also for Burns and Carl. I pulled out my phone and dialed.

"Yo, I was just about to call you," Burns said instead of hello.

"Have you left yet?"

"Yes. We are passing through town."

"Turn back," I insisted.

"Turn back? Why?"

"Because the storm is getting bad."

"Are you safe?"

"I'm as safe as I can be. I'm being very cautious."

"So, you're not back at the mines yet?"

"No. I'm still a couple of miles out."

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," I lied.

Burns saw right through me. "You're lying. I can tell by your voice. I'm not turning around."

"Burns, I would never forgive myself if something happened to you and Carl."

"Carl isn't with me."

"You are not coming out here alone. You don't even know how to get here!"

"I've got Evan and Gina with me."

"Gina and Evan? No! I don't want them to come!"

"Gina insisted and Evan wasn't about to let her come alone."

I drew in a deep sigh. On the one hand, I was thrilled that Gina wanted to rescue me, but I was worried for her safety. The roads could become treacherous in a short amount of time. If they had an accident, it was possible she and Evan could befall the same fate that Brandt had. I shuddered at the thought.

"You should have said no."

"Do you think anything I would have said would have deterred Gina from getting into the truck?" He had a point. "Besides, I'm a seeker. If anything happens, not that it will, and we are met with other souls, I can just say that I captured them."

"Don't you think they look a little clean to be humans on the run?"

"They took a shower in someone's home and stole the clothes."

"You have all the answers, don't you?"

"Uh huh."

"Fine. You win."

"You be careful. We'll be there as soon as we can. Call me if you have any trouble. You hear me?"

"Sure." I was about to hang up when I added, "Do me a favor?"

"Anything, brother."

"Tell Gina I said, 'Thank you.'"

"You can tell het yourself when you see her."

"Yeah, sure."

"Nate?"

"Yeah?"

"Be careful."

"You, too."

I forged onward into the night. There were no street lights anymore, just the glow of the clouds that released the falling snowflakes. I was shivering now. It was different from the frozen lake which was so cold, it took my breath away. No, this was a slow chill. It was as if someone locked me in a refrigerator.

A house was coming up. I could hear a barking dog in the yard. Before I knew it, I realized the dog was barking at me. "Shit!" I said in a panic. He was running straight at me. I didn't have time to think. I automatically started to run for the street. He followed me, and he was still barking. I knew in my heart that I was done for. Either that dog was going to rip me to shreds, or I was going to be discovered.

I reached the other side of the road, and the dog snapped at my leg. He caught my pants. I hit him in the side with my fist. He yelped and let go, but then he came right back at me. He lunged, knocking me down into the ditch on the side of the road. I fought to keep him away from my face. His teeth tore into my coat, and then he snapped again and tore into my exposed wrist. "Ahhhh!" I cried out. I pushed him back and kicked him as hard as I could. He growled and sunk his teeth into my calf. I cried out again and round-housed him with my free leg.

Suddenly, I heard someone yelling. "Boxer! Come on, boy! Leave that raccoon alone!"

Boxer responded to his master's calls and trotted across the street toward the house. I lay perfectly still, bloodied and freezing and curled up in the fetal position in the ditch. I didn't dare move until I was sure the coast was clear. After a minute, I heard the front door close, and the light from the porch went out.

I immediately got to my feet and ran balls out toward a small grove of pine trees. My breathing was labored, and my bladder was screaming at me. Once I was under the cover of the trees, I ripped open my pants and urinated. My legs were stinging where Boxer had punctured through my jeans. At this point, I was beginning to wonder if I was going to survive the night. My mind was telling me to keep moving; my body was telling me otherwise.

I was about to give in to my body when my phone rang. I answered it expecting it to be Burns. Once again, I was wrong.

"Did you make it back to the mine?" It was Gina's sweet, angelic voice.

"Gina?"

"Yes, Nate. It's me. I'm coming to get you. Burns said you were walking back to the mines. He said it's snowing where you are. Did you make it back yet?"

"No. I was attacked by a dog."

"Oh my God! Are you all right?"

"I'm bleeding."

"Bleeding? From where?"

"My leg and my wrist."

"Oh, Nathan, try to block out the pain. You have to get back to the mines."

"Easier said than done."

"Maybe you could sing to yourself. That always worked for me," she professed.

"_You_ have the voice of an angel," I replied, remembering her singing to me when I was in so much pain after my ordeal with Ian.

I was about to ask her to sing to me when my phone let out a triple beep. I pulled the phone from my ear and realized the battery was low.

"Nathan?"

"Sorry. My phone is about to die."

"We'll meet you at the mines, okay?"

"I'm trying, angel. I just don't know."

"Promise me you won't give up."

"It's cold, and the snow is getting deep."

"Promise me, Nate."

The phone beeped again.

"I'll try, but…"

"No buts. We need you. _I _need you."

"I need you, too, Gina."

The phone beeped three more times and shut down. "Fuck," I grumbled. I jammed the phone into my pocket. Gina's words gave me a renewed conviction to survive this night. "She said, 'I need you.'" I spoke the words out loud. As my thoughts wandered to Gina and the moments we shared, I trudged along, barely noticing the road. I knew there was only one more turn to get to the mines, and I had passed all the houses that I thought were on this road. It was just woods and road from here on out. I couldn't see any reason why a car would be on this road, so I took the opportunity to walk along the roadside for another hour in the bitter cold before I came to that final turn.

I felt a wave of relief wash over me. It was only a little more than a mile now. Even if I fell out, the chances of being found by Burns were good. The snow was deep, so I walked in the middle of the road. I knew it was the road because there were no trees or brush. My teeth were chattering, my leg and wrist were throbbing, and my ass and face were positively numb from the cold. My feet felt like lead weights. Every step was a chore. I wanted to hear Gina's voice again. I pulled my phone out and tried to power it up. It started to go through its sequence and then stopped and shut down. I shoved it back into my pocket, put my head down and forged ahead. The road twisted to the right, signaling to me that I was almost there. I saw the faint glow of the campfire in the distance. _Almost there, _I thought to myself.

As I got closer, the little energy I had left in my body seemed to dissipate. The spotlight suddenly clicked on and blinded me. I fell to my knees and face planted in the snow.

Moments later, I heard voices. "Nate, what happened? Were you captured?" I couldn't be sure if it was Aleksander or Dominik speaking. I felt their hands upon me, rolling me onto my back. "He's out of it. Let's get him inside."

My eyes must have been open because I saw the stars as my body was lifted. After that, I remember nothing except that my dreams were filled with Gina. I woke up in Nadia's room, and she was holding me against her naked body.

"Gina?"

"No, Ogier. It's me, Nadia."

"Oh. Isn't Gina coming?" I asked in my groggy state.

"I don't think so. You need to rest."

I was devastated to hear that Gina wasn't coming. I couldn't decipher the fact that Nadia couldn't have known whether she was coming or not. I accepted what she said as truth, and I started to cry.

"Ogier, please don't cry. I'll take care of you."

I couldn't help it. The reason I dragged my ass those last few miles was because Gina said she needed me. Right now, I needed her. I longed to feel her arms around me.

Nadia tried to comfort me. I stopped sobbing, but I felt lifeless. My wounds had been cleaned, but there was no heal left after the ice incident. I lay with Nadia for a while drifting in and out. I don't know how long I been asleep when I was abruptly jolted awake by the sound of a gunshot.

I jumped. "What the hell was that?"

Nadia sat up quickly. "I don't know. You stay here, and I'll go find out," she said as she pulled her sweater over her head. She stood and slipped into her jeans, donned her slippers, and rushed out of the arched doorway. It was obvious to me by her demeanor that she was very concerned.

I got up and put on my wet clothes. They were very uncomfortable to say the least. I headed down the passageway toward the entrance to the mine. As I got closer, I could hear shouting.

"We don't want his kind here!" Stanislaw bellowed.

"I mean no harm. I just came to get Nate." It was Burns's voice.

"I'm warning you. Get in your truck, or I'll shoot!"

"Shit!" I murmured to myself. I rounded the corner and found Stanislaw with his shotgun pulled to his shoulder. "Stanislaw, NO! " I hollered. Gina and Evan were standing protectively in front of Burns. I grabbed the barrel of the gun, and he fought to pull it back into position.

"He's my brother!" I shouted.

Stanislaw pulled away and lowered his gun. "Fine. Go with him," Stanislaw growled.

"Nate!" I turned, and Gina slammed into me.

I engulfed her in my arms, and without thinking, I kissed her—long and hard. She didn't stop me but reciprocated.

"I knew it!" Evan shrieked. "You're fucking in love with him!"

Burns placed his hand on Evan's shoulder. "Relax. Look at him. He needs her right now."

"Well, they _were_ married," Nadia announced.

I was glad that Evan was aware of the gypsies believing Gina and I had been married, or he could have blown the lid off of my secret. Then again, it was possible he still would, out of spite. Evan brushed off Burns and walked up to Nadia. He took her face in his hands and kissed her just as long and hard as I had kissed Gina.

I tried to hold Gina's attention. "I was afraid you weren't coming."

"Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't be sane until I knew you were okay." She pulled my blood stained sleeve into view and examined my wrist. "And you're not. We need to heal you."

"I'm fine."

"Please go to Burns before they decide to shoot him. I need to calm Evan down before he fucks that girl."

"How are you going to do that?"

"You let me worry about that."

"Okay," I kissed her gently on the lips before releasing her. I walked to Burns, and he pulled me into his chest for a heartfelt hug. "I'm glad you're all right, but your friends aren't very accommodating," he whispered before he released me.

"I know. I'm sorry about that. For them, it's about self preservation."

"I understand that. Can we get out of—whoa!" Burns said as he looked past me toward the others.

"What?" I spun around to see what Burns was gawking at. "Holy shit!" The words fell out of my mouth as I watched Gina and Nadia sharing a passionate kiss. I couldn't help but gravitate toward them. I mean, shit, girl on girl action is every guy's fantasy especially if he can share in that action.

As Gina pulled away, she turned to face Evan. "Okay, I kissed Nate; you kissed Nadia. I kissed Nadia, and I'm sure Nate's kissed Nadia today. You kissed me. The only two who haven't kissed each other are you and Nate. How about it?"

I immediately backed up. "No, thank you," I blurted out.

Evan's eyes met mine. "Yeah, no. I'm good."

Gina entwined her arm in Evan's. "Good, then I don't want to hear another word about Nate. He shouldn't have kissed me, but he did. When we get home, everything will go back to normal. I promise."

Evan sighed and faced Gina. "You promise? Really?"

Gina raised three fingers. "Scout's honor."

I turned away, so I wouldn't have to see them kiss. Burns was already sitting in the truck. Nadia took the opportunity to approach me. "I'll be good until you come back."

"Well, I'll be back in six weeks." I kissed her on the forehead and backed away.

"Let's go," I grumbled to the lovebirds. My leg was killing me. I hobbled to the truck and climbed into the back. The bed of the truck was cold and hard. Further in, there were two small mattresses from a toddler sized bed placed side by side to provide warmth and comfort. There were a couple of blankets and a comforter strewn on top of the mattresses. Unlike the van, there was no heat being pumped back here, so it was cold. I was sick of being cold. I chose to sit on the left. Gina scrambled to the middle, and Evan sat to her right. I knew it was going to be a battle between us to garner Gina's attention all the way home; a battle I wasn't looking forward to losing. Burns appeared at the back of the truck.

"Nate, scoot up so I can heal you."

"Here? I'll have to take my pants off."

"Well, your friends don't want me in the mine, and I want the satisfaction of knowing you are one hundred percent healthy before we leave this place. You can take the meds and go into the mine to do it if you want."

It would have been easy to just take the meds and do it in the warmth of the mine, but I couldn't hurt Burns. I scooted out of the truck and tugged on my work boot until it came off. I straightened up and unzipped my jeans. Before I could pull my pants down, Gina slid out of the truck holding a blanket.

"Here. You don't want to freeze to death."

I slide my pants off of my hips, and Gina wrapped the blanket around my waist. I sat down on the back gate.

"Ohhh, that looks nasty!" Gina commented as she examined the puncture wounds on my leg.

"Well, Boxer wasn't too thrilled to have a trespasser in his domain."

Burns was squatting in front of me inspecting my leg. He looked up at me. "Boxer?"

"Yeah, the owners came out of the house and called him off. They thought he had cornered a raccoon. Luckily, I was in the ditch, so they couldn't really see me."

"So you almost got caught?" Gina asked. The concern in her big green eyes was undeniable.

"Nah," I replied, trying to make light of the fact that I very easily could have been.

Gina lunged forward and wrapped herself around me. "I would just die if you got caught," she croaked in my ear.

It was at that moment that I knew no matter what the status between Gina and Evan was, she would always love me. Burns went right to work and healed the wounds on my leg, and then he moved on to my wrist and my hand, which I hadn't even realized had been bitten at the time because my hands were numb with cold. As I pulled my bloody jeans back on, Burns spoke.

"We'll stop at the van and get your things, so you can change before we get home. Maria said she wants to see you ASAP even if you have to wake her."

"Oh, boy…" I grumbled.

"Yeah. She's not too happy with you right now."

"You're not pissed at me, are you?"

"I'm just happy to know you are safe, and I'll be even happier to get you home where you belong."

"Thanks, buddy."

Burns and I gave each other a manly hug. As he backed away, I noticed Dominik and Stanislaw eyeballing us. I smirked at them. "See? The scary soul didn't kill me. He healed me because he is like a brother to me."

"He inhabits a human body," Dominik protested.

I felt anger at his comment, and I answered with ire. "Because he has to or he will die! You would do the same if it was a matter of life or death. At least, he doesn't feel the need to wipe out the humans as a whole."

Burns pulled me back. He patted me softly on my shoulder. "Let me assure you; I would gladly die if it meant restoring this human body to its former self, but there is no glimmer of the man that once was. He is gone, so I feel that being here for Nate and the others on the mountain is the best thing I can offer the human race."

Gina hugged Burns around the waist. "Your family loves you, and we wouldn't want to lose you—ever!"

I think Burns was caught off guard by Gina's affection. He rubbed her back gently. "Thank you, Gina. That means a lot."

Obviously, Evan wasn't feeling all the love. "Can we go please?" he grumbled from inside the truck.

Without further adieu, Gina and I scooted into the truck. Burns closed the back gate and secured the hatch. A minute later, the truck was moving. Ten minutes later, the truck came to a stop.

Burns opened the hatch. "I need your keys."

I reached into my pocket for the keys and tossed them to Burns. I came to the realization that we had returned to the van in ten minutes, and it had taken me the better part of four hours to walk those miles in the snow. Burns returned a minute later and dropped my bag of clothes into the bed of the truck. He disappeared again for what seemed like a long time—long enough for me to take off my shoes and jeans and put on a clean pair of pants and socks.

"What do you think he's doing?" Evan asked.

"I don't know. Maybe he's talking a piss," I replied.

"Why did you have to say that? Now I have to pee," Gina lamented.

"Why didn't you go when we back at the mine?" Evan pressed.

I took Gina by the hand. "Come on."

"No! I'm scared!" she exclaimed.

Burns appeared again and dropped the license plates from the van into the truck.

"So that's what you were doing," I exclaimed.

"Don't want the van to be traced to me," he responded.

"Right. — Um, Gina has to go to the bathroom."

"Hold on," Burns instructed. A car passed by. Burns watched it as the lights faded in the distance. Then he pulled down the gate. "Go on. Hurry up."

Gina and I scrambled to get out.

"Are you going to watch my girlfriend pee?" Evan scowled.

"My plan was to stand guard, but I can watch if you'd prefer," I said snidely.

"You're a dick," he replied.

"Yeah, too bad I didn't get caught, huh?" I rolled my eyes and dragged Gina out of the truck. We ran hand-in-hand toward the woods. "He's jealous of you, you know."

"Yeah, well, I'm jealous of him."

When we reached the trees, Gina pulled down her pants and squatted while I kept watch for anything out of the ordinary. It wasn't long before she tapped me on the back.

"Okay, I'm done."

We were alone, and I took the opportunity that the darkness and solitude offered. I pulled her close. "Gina, I love you."

"I love you, too, Nate," she said in a tone I could only describe as cautious. I pulled her chin up and kissed her passionately. She returned the kiss without reservation. "Break up with Evan and come back to me," I pleaded.

"Nate, I can't."

"But you said you love me."

"I do. I love Evan, too. We've been through so much, Evan and I, and he's never pushed me away."

My heart sank. "You mean like I did," I said sullenly. I looked into her eyes, and they conveyed the pain that she obviously still harbored after all these months. I felt guilty. Who was I to take away the security that she felt with Evan? I tried to remedy the situation. "Angel, no matter what, we'll still be friends, right?"

"Of course," she said sincerely.

"And I hope you will forgive me when I transgress and kiss you when I know I should not."

She splayed her hands on my chest. "Just don't make it a habit."

I smiled, and so did she. I looked out toward the vehicles. "The coast is clear. Let's go."

Gina and I ran hand-in-hand toward the truck. I felt rejuvenated. Gina loved me even if she couldn't show it in front of Evan. I still held a place in her heart. I tried to hide my giddiness as I climbed into the truck. I remained serious, so Evan wouldn't suspect the stolen kiss.

Gina snuggled up to Evan. He placed his arm around her shoulders. "I want to sleep now that I know that Nate is safe. You two aren't going to fight when I doze off, are you?"

"What is there to fight about? You made it perfectly clear that you are Evan's girl," I said as a matter of fact.

"Damn right!" Evan barked.

"No fighting," she repeated, and then she laid her head on Evan's chest and closed her eyes.

It was quiet in the truck. I was glad the truck had double tires in the back because I could feel the vehicle slip on the snow covered road every now and again. I wasn't sure what time it was. I knew it was a few hours before dawn, and Burns had not slept. I worried that he might fall asleep at the wheel. I pulled out my phone and remembered it was dead. "Crap."

"What's wrong?" Evan asked.

"I need to talk to Burns. He's been driving for a long time. I thought I should keep him company."

Evan knocked on the window three times, then paused and knocked three more times.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means pull over."

I felt the truck slow to a stop. Burns got out and walked around to the back. He opened the hatch.

"Who needs to go to the bathroom now?"

"No one. I just thought you might be tired, and I can drive for a few hours while you sleep."

"I _am _exhausted," he confessed.

Burns opened the gate, and I climbed out. I angled my way onto the driver's seat, and Burns settled into the passenger seat. I watched my speed carefully as I drove. I didn't want to put the truck in a ditch if I slid off the roadway. I did slide a few times at first, but after an hour or so, I noticed the amount of snowfall on the roads was less and less. After two hours, there was only a dusting, and by the time the sun peeked over the horizon, there was no snow at all. The mountain we called home had been spared from the snowstorm.

I woke Burns just before we reached town, and he drove the rest of the way. I was exhausted by the time we pulled into the driveway. Burns encouraged me to crash in the spare bedroom. I took him up in the offer because I knew if I walked back to the cave, I would probably run into Maria on her way to the house. I wasn't ready to face her.

My head hit the soft pillow, and I was a goner…

14


	72. Chapter 72

**Well, let me start by saying,**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

**In honor of 2013, I thought I would post a chapter of my favorite story.**

**This is for you, babe.**

MENDING FENCES

01/27/03 - I woke up this morning when Maria stuck her head into the room. She called my name, and I ignored her. I wasn't in the mood to face her, so I didn't move when she called me. I don't know if she knew I was awake or not, but she said, "I'll see you later. Count on it." Then she closed the door, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I know she's angry because I stayed away so long, and I'm sure she's going to lay into me. I'm almost relieved because the fact that she's angry means that she cares.

It's almost noon now, and the ladies are most likely in the kitchen fixing lunch. It's a good time for me to hit the shower because she'll be busy.

Another person I am ambivalent about seeing is Tori. I'm pretty sure by the vagueness of my responses from both Burns and Gina that Tori and Blake are now a couple. I know I shouldn't feel like I've lost because the truth is I gave her away. Shit, that makes two great girls I've let slip through my fingers. At least Gina still loves me. Maybe with time, I can persuade her to come back to me.

I can't prolong the inevitable. I'd, at least, like to take a shower and wash the musty smell of the mines off of me. Maybe I'll approach Maria wearing only a towel. That'll help keep her at bay especially if I threaten to drop the towel.

I knew there was no chance of leaving the quiet safety of my room and finding the house empty. I could hear the TV blaring in the living room. I had no idea who was hunkered down in the living room watching. I didn't mind running into the teens. They'd probably ignore me. My fear was running into Tori or Maria. I was not ready to face either one of them. I took a deep breath. I figured it was now or never. I pulled on my jeans and skipped the shirt. I was about to make a dash for the bathroom when there was a knock on the door. "Shit," I said to myself, thinking it was probably Maria returned to lay into me for abandoning my duties and staying away for so long. I could only hope Burns didn't spill the beans about my near death experiences. I took another deep breath and yanked the door open.

"Hi!"

It was Gina. She was smiling as she held out a stack of clothes to me.

"Hey, Gina!" I said with enthusiasm. "Come on in!" She stepped inside, and I closed the door behind her. "I was afraid you might be Maria."

"She's in the kitchen. You know you can't avoid her forever."

"I know," I replied in defeat.

"I hope you don't mind; I went to your room and got some of your clean clothes for you." She laid them gently on the bed.

As she straightened up, I pulled her into my arms. "Why are you so good to me?"

"You know why," she said coyly.

I looked directly into her eyes. "Because you love me?"

"Because you don't have anyone in your life to take care of you," she responded quickly.

"I have Maria."

"Maria doesn't want to take care of you. She wants you to grow up and take care of yourself."

"And you don't think I can do that?"

"Do what? Grow up or take care of yourself?" she teased. She tried to pull my arms away but I pulled her tighter to my body.

"I love you, Gina."

"I know you do, Nathan."

I creased my eyebrows in wonder. "Do you?"

She placed her hands in the bend of my elbows and braced herself. "Evan loves me, too."

"Why did you have to bring him up?"

"Nate, he _is _my boyfriend."

"_I_ could be your fiancé."

Gina sucked in her breath, obviously surprised at my remark. I thought for a moment that I had her. I leaned in and gently placed my lips upon hers. She responded, so I continued to caress her lips with my tongue. She invited me into her mouth, and I went willingly. I began to entertain the thought that I might actually be able to bed her. She broke the kiss, and I went for her neck. She smelled like heaven.

"Nate, stop," she said in a pleading voice.

I ignored her and kissed her collarbone. My intention was to reach those beautiful breasts.

"Nathan, stop!" she cried out abruptly.

I stopped.

"What?"

"We can't do this!"

"Why not?"

"Because you are _not _going to marry me!" she declared. "Not as long as Wanda still holds a piece of your heart."

"Gina."

"Admit that you have no feelings for Wanda. and I will leave Evan for you."

"I have no feelings for Wanda." That was probably the biggest lie I had ever told. Unfortunately, Gina saw right through it.

"You know; she's coming back here next week—alone."

I couldn't help myself. My eyes blew up like two saucers. "She is?"

"A-ha! I knew it!" She pushed away from me.

"Come on, Gina!" I cried out in frustration. "Tell me you didn't enjoy that kiss as much as I did."

"This is not about the kiss or sex. This is about the rest of my life. Don't you get that?"

"Of course, I get that!" I said much louder than I had anticipated. "I'm willing to give you the rest of my life."

"You say that now, but the truth is if I was in the same room with Wanda, you'd be watching her, and I'd be crushed. Evan sees no one but me."

"Give me a chance," I pleaded.

"I did, and you blew it."

I brushed her hair back, behind her ear. "Give me another chance."

"I can't."

"You can't or you won't?"

"I won't—not as long as Evan wants me in his life."

"So, let me get this straight. All I have to do is get Evan to dump you?"

"Don't play, Nathan."

"Oh, I'm not playing."

She pursed her lips, and her eyes shot venom at me. "I mean it. Do you want me to hate you again?"

I thought about the wrath that Gina had displayed prior to my trip to the gypsies. "No," I replied, defeated.

She stroked my face. "Nate, we are both young. We have our whole lives ahead of us. You never know what is in store for our future."

Little did I know how much weight that simple sentence would hold.

"One more kiss than?"

"Fine, but no tongues," she said adamantly.

I smiled. "You started it."

A faint tinge of pink crossed her cheeks. "No smiling either."

"Why, don't you like my smile?"

She looked away. I jostled her and smiled at her. She looked at me. "Yes, I like your smile," she admitted.

"Ah! So, you _like_ my smile!"

"Nate, I love everything about you."

"So what's the problem?"

"Except your obsessive attraction to Wanda."

"At least, I don't smoke," I said in jest.

"Shut up. I have to go. Evan is meeting me up here."

"What about my kiss?"

She sighed. "Fine."

"Hey! You could at least show me the enthusiasm you had before."

"You said fiancé before."

"Okay, fiancé!" Before she could make a come back, I swooped in and planted my lips on hers. I heeded her wishes and did not use my tongue, but I did allow my lips to envelope hers many times. The knock on the door pulled us from what was definitely an escalating kiss.

From the other side of the door, we could hear Evan. "Gina, are you in there?"

Gina quickly wiped her lips. She was in a panic.

"Relax. I made a promise."

I pulled open the door. "Evan! She's in here. She brought me clothes."

"How long does it take to hand over some clothes?' he asked.

"Well, that was my fault. I was pressing her for information."

Gina looked alarmed.

"Information about what?"

"About Maria. She's on the prowl because she's pissed at me. I was trying to find out what Gina knew about it and what she thinks I should say to smooth things over."

Gina caught on and threw in her two cents. "I told him that he can't escape her wrath, and he should just man up and take it." She turned toward me. "And apologize."

"You know you should be grateful," Evan added. "You and Ian are one of the few adults on this mountain that have a parent to turn to."

"Maria is not my mother," I reminded him.

"But she treats you like a son. I would give anything to have that."

"Me, too," Gina chimed in.

I held up my hands. "Okay, okay! I get it! I'm a lucky guy."

"Yes, you are," Gina replied. "You are probably the most loved person on this mountain, and you take it for granted."

I gazed into her eyes. "I promise I will try to change that."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Evan blurted out.

"Well, well, well! The wayward traveler returns home at last."

I sucked in my breath. I was scared and yet relieved that Maria had interrupted the impending explosion from Evan.

"Maria! I was going to take a shower, and then I was going to come and find you, I swear!"

"You have fifteen minutes," she ordered.

I bent over and scooped the clean clothes off the bed. "Excuse me, guys. The boss has spoken. Catch you later." I stepped between Gina and Evan and hightailed it down the hall toward the bathroom. As I stepped into the shower, I felt a rush. It felt good to be home again. Gina was definitely keeping the door open, and I was happy about that. I couldn't help but smile as I thought about the kisses we shared in the last twenty four hours. I felt like it was a sign. I was on top of the world.

After my shower, I entered the kitchen knowing that Maria was there waiting for me. I thought if I acted roguish with her, she'd have no choice but to be happy. I sashayed into the room.

"I'm back!" I sang out.

Maria was standing at the kitchen counter cutting open round rolls for sandwiches. She dropped the knife, spun around, and did something unexpected.

She hugged me.

Not just an ordinary hug. It was the kind of hug a mother gives her son when he returns from war. It was like she was trying to pull me inside of her. Finally, she released me, and then she shook her finger in my face.

"Don't you ever worry me like that again!"

"Why were you worried? You knew where I was."

"Burns told me you nearly drowned!"

"Oh, he told you that?"

"Yes, he told me that. I want to hear all about it, and don't you leave any details out!"

"Okay, fine. Can I get a cup of coffee first?"

"There is no coffee. It's almost lunch time!"

"Oh. The coffee at the mines tastes like mud. I really miss your fresh brewed coffee."

She shook her head. "You are so spoiled; you know that?"

I smiled knowing that she would make me the coffee. At that moment, Sarah and Megan entered the kitchen.

"Nate!" Sarah screamed, and she practically skipped across the room to get to me.

"Hi, Sarah," I said in a sweet voice as I welcomed her into my arms.

"They told me you almost drowned! Why were you swimming?"

I burst out laughing. "I wasn't swimming. I fell through the ice."

"And he's going to tell us all about it," Maria chimed in.

"I'd like to hear that story." It was Victoria. She and Danny had just entered the kitchen.

"Victoria," I replied. My voice announced my surprise.

"Hi, Nate. Do I get a hug?"

"Uh, sure." Sarah backed away allowing Tori to approach. I felt unsure of what kind of hug I should give her. Too much could send the wrong message that I still wanted a relationship. Too little might make her feel like I didn't care. I decided a warm hug was the way to go. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek. "How are you?" I asked.

"I'm better now that I know you are home, safe and sound."

"Everyone sit, so Nate can tell us the story," Maria instructed.

The others each sank into a wooden chair and set their attention on me.

"All right," I began. "It all started when I gave Stanislaw his Christmas gift. It was a fishing pole. They live right next to a lake, and I thought in the warmer months, he could go fishing." I paused momentarily as Rachel and Rob entered the kitchen.

"Nate! You're back and you're in one piece!" Rachel trilled.

"What the hell did Burns tell you all?"

Tori answered. "He said you were at death's door, and they used all the Heal to bring you and that old guy, Stanislaw, back."

"It really wasn't like that."

"Finish the story," Maria insisted as she handed me a fresh cup of coffee. I took a gulp and voiced my approval.

Rachel and Rob fell in behind Megan, eager to hear the story.

"So, I was with Nadia." My eyes immediately went to Tori. She looked away. "We got up and found out that Stanislaw, Aleksander, and Niko had gone to the lake to try out the new fishing pole. I immediately became suspect because I knew the lake was frozen. Ludmila explained that they were going to drill a hole in the ice. She said they'd done it many times. I asked if it was safe, and she said they took precautions by securing a rope to each of them in case one of them should fall through."

"What if they _all_ fall in?" Sarah asked.

"That's not likely to happen," Rob pointed out.

"Shush! Let him finish the story!" Rachel scolded.

"So, a minute later, Niko comes running into camp out of breath and says that Stanislaw fell through the ice, and Aleksander needs help." I continued telling the story. I was up to the part where I had finally pulled Stanislaw out of the frigid water when Aunt Sue and Carl wandered in. They were quickly hushed and joined the crowd.

I finished the story by telling them that Nadia took good care of me, and I woke up a few hours later feeling refreshed.

"I hope they learned their lesson," Maria scowled.

"I should hope so!" Sarah added.

"What about the dog?" Tori asked.

"What dog?" Maria reiterated.

I shook my head. "It was nothing," I said nonchalantly.

"Gina said you were in pretty bad shape."

I pulled my lips tightly together. "She did, huh? Remind me to thank her."

Maria was standing with her hands on her hips. I knew she wasn't about to let me leave until I told that story, too. As I launched into it, Gina and Evan sauntered in.

"Oh! Are we interrupting something?" she asked.

"You are in so much trouble," I countered.

"Me?"

"Why did you have to tell them about the dog?"

"If by _them_, you mean Tori, then excuse me if I felt that she had a right to know," she shot back.

"We are not a couple!" I blurted out.

Tori's face took on a sallow look. She got up, excused herself, and fled the room.

"Now see what you did!" I shouted at Gina.

"Me? I'm not the one who broke her heart!" I knew immediately that the words were inclusive of me breaking her heart as well.

"I thought she hooked up with Blake!" I said in my defense.

"Who the hell told you that?" Gina countered. "You need to get your facts straight."

"Damn it!" I pushed my way through the kitchen door and grabbed my coat as I headed out the back door. I was running after her, but I had no clue where she had gone. The worst part was even if I did find her, what was I supposed to say? By the time I got to the cave, I was walking, still trying to figure out how I should handle the situation. I headed down the dark corridor to her room. I had forgotten that her room was now in the bunkhouse. Maybe I was meant to go down this hallway. I heard voices. I slowed down and pushed myself up against the wall. As I approached the entrance to her old room, I cocked my head to listen. It was Victoria speaking.

"Blake, make love to me," she pleaded through tears.

"What? No! What's wrong with you?" he answered.

"Please, I need you to help me forget."

"Forget what? Him?"

I couldn't listen to her beg him for sex any longer. I stepped into the room. "Victoria," I spoke loud and clear. "Can we talk?"

"No, Nate. I have nothing to say."

"Well, I do."

Blake looked like a deer in headlights. "I'm gonna go." He pulled Tori's face up to his. "I'll be right at the entrance to the cave if you need me, okay?"

Tori shook her head in agreement. He released her and leered at me as he passed me on the way out. Now that we were alone, I needed to figure out a way to talk to her and not freak her out.

"Tori, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you—but I was under the impression that you and Blake were close."

"We are," she answered.

"Then why did you get upset when I said we weren't a couple? I mean if you and Blake are sleeping together…"

"We're not!" she shot back. "We haven't gone that far."

"You haven't?" I had to admit I was pretty surprised. "Then why did you just ask him to make love to you?"

"Because the only way I am going to move on is if he can make me forget you!"

I stroked my chin as I thought about it. "Then why did you wait till I got home to ask him? We broke up when I left."

"He's not ready," she said flatly.

"Whoa." I wasn't expecting that. I was more confused than ever. "What do you want from me?"

"I don't know," she replied.

"Do you want me to make love to you?"

"I don't know."

I approached her and pulled her chin to me the same way that Blake had done. "Tori, tell me what you want."

"I don't know, Nate!"

I released her chin. "Then I can't help you." I turned to walk away.

"I don't want to be alone!" she blurted out. "I was alone for six years, and then everything changed. You—you opened up feelings and emotions I had blocked for so long."

"Xena, you are not alone. There are twenty seven people on this mountain, not including Ian and Wanda, who care about you."

"I want to be loved."

"You are loved. I will always love you. Blake loves you, too."

"Then why won't he make love to me?"

"I can't answer for him. I can only speculate. Maybe he wants to make sure you are over me before he gives himself to you. Maybe he's waiting until he is eighteen."

"That's only a week away."

"I know. Maybe you should put your efforts into letting him know how you feel about him instead of pining over me."

"I don't know if I'm ready to let you go."

"Believe me; right now, it would be very easy for me to seduce you. But what would that accomplish besides an hour of pleasure that could push away Blake? You know we would never be happy together."

"Why not? Were you that unhappy with me?"

"No." I shook my head for emphasis. "You gave me immense pleasure. It's just that I can't get past my feelings for Gina and for Wanda."

"You're a fool! They are both in love with someone else!"

"I know."

"And Nadia?"

"Nadia is excited about coming here to the mountain."

"So she can be with you!"

"No! It won't be like that. There are others."

"Like who? Carlos? He's only sixteen!"

"Not Carlos."

"Blake? You told me that…"

"Not Blake!"

The look of shock came over her face. "You want her to take Evan, so you can have Gina back!"

"I can't control that."

"You son of a bitch! You've got this all planned, don't you?"

"There is no plan," I replied. "I just want to get her away from her cousin before she ends up bearing his retarded children."

"She's sleeping with her cousin?"

"I don't know. I hope not. I try to please her each time I see her in the hopes she will keep him at bay." I grabbed Tori by the arms. "Look, I just want everyone to be happy."

"Are you happy being alone?"

"I'm not alone. Everyone on this mountain is mad at me right now. Do you know why? Because I abandoned them. They all need me and I need them, and right now, I am going to do everything I can to get back in their good graces. If you need me, I'm here for you. If you want me to make love to you, I will. You just need to tell me what you want."

"Will you hold me?"

"Of course, I will." I pulled her tightly into my arms. The sweet smell of perfume permeated my nostrils. "You smell so good."

"It's the perfume that Blake gave me for Christmas."

"You know he's waiting for you. If you make him wait too long, he might suspect that you and I are hooking up."

"Yeah, you're right. Come on."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "You know it's going to be difficult seeing you and Blake together."

"We're not together. I'm not even sure he wants me."

"Well, I guess he knows that you want him. That was quite a demand you made back there."

"I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be. It just might have been the kick in the pants that he needed."

"You're so stupid."

I smiled brightly. "That's as good as saying you love me."

We rounded the bend, and Blake was standing there looking annoyed and yet worried.

"There he is! Right were he said he'd be," I announced. I removed my arm from Tori's shoulders. "Take good care of her. She's not as tough as you think."

"You're so stupid!" she announced.

"So you keep saying. I love you, too, Xena. I always will." I kissed her on the cheek, nodded to Blake, and walked away. I felt good about myself. It would have been so easy to fall into my old habits and make love to her. After all, I was comfortable with Tori. Making love to her was like eating turkey. It tasted great going down, but afterwards, you just wanted to settle in for a nice nap.

I spent the next week being a leader. I felt like I was campaigning for office. I played board games with Tom and Maggie, chess with Uncle George, and helped Maria, Aunt Sue, and Hector put together puzzles.

I hung out with Maria in the kitchen a lot and helped her with the meals. Aunt Sue was pleased because it gave her more time to spend with Hector. He was becoming quite the hermit. I wasn't sure if it was because he was feeling poorly or if he just didn't like the cold. I discussed the issue with Aunt Sue. She said he wouldn't admit it, but he hadn't been feeling well lately. She was afraid that he might have cancer, and she wanted to get some heal into him, but like Uncle George, Hector didn't trust the "miracle medicines" of the souls. We devised a way to trick him into ingesting the Heal. It was a well kept secret that Aunt Sue and Hector were lovers. Apparently, Hector wanted to preserve the memory of his wife, who had not escaped the soul invasion, from his boys. I don't think it was so much for Dean as it was for Carlos. Carlos had a rough time of it when they first arrived on the mountain. He was very much a momma's boy. Losing his mother hit him hard. He fell for a young lady from another clan that lived in Montana at an early age. I had always suspected that he was trying to fill the hole in his heart left by his mother. We haven't seen any sign of the clan in a year now, and we haven't ventured out to see them since we met up with Jeb's clan at the caverns.

Jeb's clan is twice the size of the Montana clan, and they have Wanda which makes them as unique as our own clan. I presume the whole baseball thing really helped Carlos to see that he didn't need a girl hundreds of miles away to make his life complete. It was something I needed to thank Ian for. Not that I didn't like the folks up in Montana; they just were not crazy about the Burns aspect of our clan. They were much like the gypsies in that respect. The difference was I cared about Nadia and the gypsies. They needed me. The Montana clan were mountain people. They knew how to live off the land—sort of like Victoria.

At any rate, we got Hector to take the Heal by devising this simple plan. Aunt Sue told him he had bad breath, and if he wanted to kiss her, he would need to take some mouthwash or something. He came to me, just as we knew he would, and I gave him what he thought was a mint strip that dissolved on your tongue to freshen his breath. It was really a slip of deep Heal that I placed on his tongue. He never mentioned that his _breath strip_ made him feel better, but the gray look to his skin turned to a healthy color in just minutes.

When he left my room, I noticed a slight spring to his step. A few hours later, I ran into Aunt Sue in the kitchen, and she was all smiles. She even hugged me, which was unusual. Knowing first hand the effects that Heal has on the body, I could only imagine what had transpired between the two of them in those few hours. I tried to send her back to the cave, but she insisted that she needed to help Maria with dinner. I offered to stay and help Maria, but Sue was adamant about staying. I laughed at her, and she told me to go away.

On Friday I was watching a movie with Sarah and the other teens when my phone rang. I was quick to pick it up because it was Wanda.

"Hey, beautiful!"

"Hi, Nate! Do you miss me?"

I rose from the couch and headed into the empty bedroom. "More than you know. Are you calling to tell me you're coming home?"

She chuckled. "Sorry, not yet. Me and Sunny are on a road trip. I tried to call you a few weeks ago, but I kept losing the call."

"I was probably in the mines. It's like the caverns. I don't get reception when I'm inside."

"Oh, is everyone in good health at the mines?"

"Yes, ma'am. The gypsies are doing fine." I didn't think it was necessary to tell her of all the drama that transpired during my trip. She was unaware of my physical relationship with Nadia as she was of all of my past relationships with the exception of Tori. "How is Ian treating you?"

"Like a princess. He's been absolutely perfect!"

Just my luck, Ian turns into the perfect husband. "I'm glad to hear that. I'm sure it's easy when the woman he loves has his full attention."

"Actually, he doesn't have my full attention. There's another man in my life."

I felt the hair rise up on the back of my neck. "Another man?" My first instinct was that it might be Ice. After all, he was a soul, like her.

Wanda laughed. "Jesse! He's such a treasure. I'm so in love. I can't wait to have a baby!"

I let out a chuckle of relief. "I can help you out with that if you want," I joked.

"Sure, I'll ask Ian if he'd mind you fathering my love child," she joked back.

"Maybe we should keep that idea to ourselves. I'm kind of fond of my face."

The tone of Wanda's voice became serious. "I'm so sorry that he hurt you."

"I know you are." I decided to try and change the subject. "So, do you ever wear the watch I gave to you?"

"I wear it every day, except when I have to work in the garden."

"I'm happy to hear you say that."

"Oh, I almost forgot, Ian told me to say, 'Hi,' and that he misses the mountain."

"How did he know you'd call me?"

"He knows I always call you when I go on a road trip."

"He doesn't get mad?"

"I'm sure it bothers him, but he knows I still love you, and I'd never turn my back on you. So…" She paused a moment before continuing, "how are you, really?"

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"No reason."

"Wanda, you're lying to me."

She sighed. "Burns told Lily that you and Tori broke up. She said Tori and Blake have been getting close."

"They have."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm the one who broke up with her."

"Why?"

"I had my reasons. Tori is a great girl, but she deserved better than me."

"Nate, you know that you and I will never be more than friends, right?"

"Hey, a guy can dream."

"Nate."

"No, really! In my dreams we are an awesome couple—and you're pregnant!"

"Nate!"

I burst out laughing. "I can't wait for you to return. I miss both you and your husband."

"Burns said you've gotten a lot of snow this year."

"Well the snow is almost all melted, but the weather service is calling for a big storm over the weekend just in time for my birthday."

"Oh my God! I didn't know it was your birthday! Are you having a party?"

"I have no idea. I haven't heard anything."

"I wish I could be there!"

"That would be a hell of a gift."

"Oh, Nate! You know if I could be there, I would!" she lamented.

"I know. I didn't mean to make you feel guilty."

"I'll try to call you on your birthday. What day is it?"

"February eleventh."

"February eleventh. Got it. We are pulling into the mall parking lot. I have to go."

"Be careful, and remember I love you."

"I love you, too. Would you tell Maggie that I am going to call her tonight when we get to our hotel and lend her your phone?"

"Consider it done. Bye, beautiful."

I hung up feeling anxious and a bit sad because I missed them both. I made my way to Maggie and Tom, who were doing laundry, and told them I had spoken to Wanda. I handed off my phone and returned to the teens and the movie. I sat behind Sarah, pulled her close, and gave her a little squeeze. She seemed happy to receive the attention. I closed my eyes for a moment and wished it was Wanda.

The rest of the clan was doing well. Rachel and Rob were in a good place as was Kim and Tom. Kim and I took a long walk in the woods to mother's grave, and we spent a few hours talking about our lives. Kim wanted to have another baby, but she was afraid of having another miscarriage. She was turning thirty this year, and she felt her inner clock ticking. She reminded me that my birthday was just four days away. I told her that I would rather just forget about my birthday this year. She told me that was not going to happen. My argument was that we had just had a big celebration for Blake's eighteenth birthday. She insisted that the entire family was already preparing for the party. I have to admit that inside, I was pleased that they cared, but on the outside, I let my apprehension show.

"Why wouldn't you want a party in your honor?" she asked.

"I just feel that this past year has been a disappointment."

"How so?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Is this about Wanda? She's not even here!"

"No. I know she's happy with Ian."

"Not Tori. You told me she wasn't _forever material_ for you."

"No. I think Tori is going to be very happy with Blake. I just feel like I really dropped the ball this past year on leading my family. I let my dick get in the way."

"Well then, this birthday party can mark your decision to get back on that horse and lead the troops."

I chuckled. "This isn't a war."

"Isn't it? Just because you've made friends with a couple of souls doesn't mean the rest of the world isn't out to get us. You need to remember that."

She was right. Burns and Wanda were two exceptional souls in a sea of aliens that would like nothing better than to wipe out the human race.

I turned to my big sister. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"Nope."

"Well, I do."

"I love you, too—and I'm proud of the way you have put yourself out there for the good of our family."

We hugged each other.

"You know what I'd like for my birthday?"

"I haven't the vaguest idea what you would want for your birthday."

I smiled. "A party."


	73. Chapter 73

**Okay, I was in sync with this story, so I wrote another chapter right away. I wrote part of it as a gift to someone who would most likely appreciate it. It might be a while before I get to another chapter, with Wanda and Ian returning to the mountain. In the meanwhile, I'll be spending the next week or so editing book 3 of FTLOB. Those who have read book 2 are already clamoring for the next book. Then I need to knock out a chapter of Plum Crazy. They've been waiting patiently for a while. For now, enjoy Nate's birthday.**

A BIRTHDAY TO REMEMBER

02/11/2003 – Today is my birthday. Yippy. I'm just not excited. Everyone else is. Apparently, my family and friends are planning a big to-do in my honor. I just feel like this has been a wasted year. It seems like everyone around me has had some monumental event that has changed their lives for the better…with the exception of me. Wanda and Ian got married despite my efforts to foil their relationship. I almost died in the process. The only good thing that came out of it was they have both kept me in their good graces, Wanda much more so than Ian, although Ian does consider me a friend. I'll be damned if I can figure out why. Gina was a perfect match for me. Okay, so she's not the prettiest girl on the planet, but her body is slammin', and she's great in bed and she loves me, even now. I pushed her away with my blind obsession over Wanda. She's in what appears to be a stable relationship with Evan. Evan and I used to be great friends. Not so much anymore. We would both feel a whole lot better if the other was out of Gina's life. Then there's Tori. She fell for me like a ton of bricks, but I had to point out to her how infatuated Blake was and then practically dump her into his lap. They seem to be happy with each other. Burns has connected with Lily, and he's happier than I've ever seen him. He's leaving tomorrow for the caverns to see his girl, barring we don't get anymore snow. It snowed two days ago—a foot. It's February, and I'm sick of snow. I have half a mind to go to the caverns with Burns. But alas, I promised my sister and Maria that I would stick around and be the leader that I am supposed to be. Besides, I am going back to the mines in two weeks. I don't want to leave Nadia for too long, and I left them the last time on less than favorable conditions since Burns, a soul, had to come and rescue me when my van broke down just a few miles from the mines. Stanislaw was not too happy about having the enemy in his front yard. I consider myself fortunate that he refrained from killing him on the spot. Megan is going with Burns to see Jamie. Even she has found a boyfriend. It's not as if I am a hermit. I've fucked lots of girls this past year. Conquests are right up my alley, it's meaningful, lasting relationships that I'm no good at. What the hell is wrong with me? I swear if I get the chance to get Gina back, I am not going to blow it. This, I swear to you, diary, on my twenty seventh birthday.

No sooner did I close my diary when there was a knock on the door. Before I could throw the covers back to slip into a pair of jeans, my round wooden door swung open and in sashayed Rachel, Gina, and Victoria each carrying a tray of food.

"Mind if we barge in?" Rachel said in a bawdy voice. "We brought you breakfast."

"No, of course not. Come right in."

Gina was the last one in. She put down her tray on the nightstand and went back over to the door. She checked the door to make sure it was closed.

"Are we good?' Rachel asked.

"We're good," Gina replied.

Tori pulled a CD player out of her bag and set it on the floor. The three ladies

sat with their backs to me. Each was wearing a coat. Tori hit the button and music began to play. The next thing I knew I had sneakers being tossed at me as the girls took off their shoes. Then, to my surprise, they wriggled out of their jeans and tossed those over their heads as well. I could feel my heart pumping at the thought of more clothes coming off. Then I saw each of them pull a pair of high heels out of their pockets.

"Oh my God!" I said in amazement.

The three ladies stood up in a line. All I saw were three pairs of perfect legs each wearing a different color pair of heels. As they slowly turned around, Rachel was at the forefront with Gina and Tori flanking her on each side. The girls began shaking their hips to the beat of the music. Rachel untied the belt on her wrap around coat and pulled it open revealing a black little lacey number. I thought I must be dreaming.

Tori went second. When she opened her coat, I recognized the salmon colored lingerie that she had paired with the white heels that she was wearing. I smiled brightly at the instant memory.

Gina walked toward me. "I'm sorry, Nate. I didn't have any lingerie to wear. You don't mind, do you?"

My dick was rock hard at this point. If she pulled back the blanket, I would have no choice but to screw them all—and I'm pretty sure I'd have the stamina to do it.

"Would you help me open my coat?" she asked.

"Hell, yeah!" I reached up and undid the top button on the coat. My hands were actually shaking. I opened the second button, and I saw red lace peek out. "You're not naked," I observed.

She smiled and stroked my hair. "Silly! I never said I was naked. I said I didn't have any lingerie to wear. I had to borrow from Rachel!" The last button slipped out of its hole revealing a red lace bodice that showcased her perfect breasts beautifully.

She spun away, and I nearly fell out of the bed. The coat had been tossed with the others as I straightened up, and the three of them proceeded to do a routine that they had obviously been practicing for a while.

I felt like I was at a burlesque show. Three very hot ladies were strutting their stuff for me. I tried to watch each of them, but I found my eyes wandering to Gina more often than not. She wasn't the prettiest girl out there, but to me she was by far the sexiest of the three. She just knew how to move, and my God!—I wanted her. By the end of the routine, each girl struck a pose. Gina chose to turn around and bend over with her legs spread apart. I thought I'd have an orgasm right there.

As the music ended and the girls turned around, I thought I'd give them a little show of my own.

"Do you want to see what you've done to me?" I asked as I pulled the blanket off of me. I was wearing only my boxers, and my dick was sticking straight out of them. "Who's going to take care of this?"

"I would, but I've got a boyfriend," Rachel stated.

"You gave me away to Blake," Tori said calmly.

My gaze shifted to Gina.

"Well, don't look at me! We had a deal, remember?"

"Please tell me that Evan doesn't love you anymore."

Gina picked up a tray with a plate filled with bacon, eggs, and a toasted bagel smothered in butter and carried to the bed. "Sorry, he still loves me." She sat on the edge and curled her leg into a 'V'. "Now, put that stallion back in its stable, or I'll have to leave."

Victoria poured me a hot cup of coffee, sat on the opposite side of the bed, and offered it to me. "You know when Maria found out we were bringing you breakfast, she wanted to join us."

Rachel laughed as she set a glass of orange juice on the nightstand. "Yeah, we had a hell of a time trying to talk her out of it. We told her we had written a poem, and we were each going to read a part of it to you."

"Did you like the poem?" Gina asked.

I traced my finger along the inside of her thigh. "Yeah, I liked it a little too much." Her eyes met mine. She reached down and gently removed my hand.

Rachel picked up a fork full of eggs and held it up to my mouth. "Eat."

I opened my mouth, and she shoved the forkful of food into my mouth. As I chewed, Victoria pulled the blanket up over my still raging hard-on.

"What's the matter, Xena? Miss it?"

"I'm not the one who hasn't had any in—how long has it been?"

"Ah! Touché, my warrior princess! To be honest, I'm pretty sure I could satisfy the three of you—if you're game."

"Sounds like a challenge," Rachel countered.

I knew Gina had been with Nadia, so the idea of getting hot and heavy with another woman wasn't something she would oppose.

Victoria stood up. "I've done enough sharing, thank you."

"She's right. None of us want to share. That's why we all have boyfriends," Gina reiterated.

Rachel sprang to her feet. "What if he chose just one?"

"Rachel, I don't think that's such a good idea," I replied, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings.

"What's the matter? You can't choose?" Rachel goaded.

"Stop pushing him!" Tori interrupted. "We all know he'll choose Gina."

Gina smiled. "Thank you for the compliment, but the truth is the girl he'd choose isn't here."

I hated that Gina still used Wanda as a crutch. I felt if she really wanted me and not Evan that she would have made that choice. She had kept her distance from me the last few weeks. I decided to call her on it.

"I choose you, Gina. Make love to me for my birthday."

She immediately stood up. "Wha…me?"

"Rachel and Tori won't tell." I looked at the other girls. "You'll keep our secret, won't you?"

"Sure," Rachel said pleasantly.

I looked directly at Victoria. "Tori?"

"Haven't I kept all of your dirty little secrets?" she shot back.

"I'm not sleeping with him!" Gina announced.

"Oh, now you get righteous. You weren't so righteous on _your_ birthday," Tori snipped.

"Hey, now!" Rachel interrupted. "This is supposed to be fun for Nate's birthday. Let's not get all catty, all right?"

At this point my hard-on had deflated. I pulled back the blanket and slid out of the bed. I stood in the middle of the room in my boxers.

"Lady's, I would like to make a sincere apology to each of you for any trouble I have caused in your life. You are all beautiful women who deserve much better than me. Thank you for the show. Now go back to the guys who obviously don't know that you are here."

"Nate, we just wanted to make the day special for you," Rachel explained.

"And you have. You've reminded me that I've taken you all for granted. I'm going to change that."

The girls didn't move.

"Come on, now, go!" I walked over and picked up the sneakers on the floor and held them out to each of the girls. I walked to the bookshelf and stared at the books I had accumulated over the years. I didn't want to watch the girls dress. I felt guilty that even though each of these girls had a guy who loved them, they still felt some kind of jealousy when it came to me. _Why? All I've ever done was hurt them!_

As the girls filed out of the room, Gina turned back. "We'll see you later?" she asked.

"Yes, of course." I replied as I pulled a random book from the shelf.

The door closed, and I plopped on the bed. "Shit." I fell onto my back and stared up at the ceiling.

Suddenly, there was a faint knock on the door.

"Jesus," I mumbled. "What now?" I took a deep breath. "Who is it?"

The door opened, and Tori stuck her head in. "Nate, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for ruining your surprise."

"You didn't ruin anything," I said without bothering to stand up.

She stepped inside and pushed the door closed.

"It's just that I still get jealous. I know I shouldn't, but…"

"Are you sleeping with him, yet?" I asked.

"Would you be mad at me if I was?"

I chuckled. "I'd be mad at you if you weren't. I gave you up for him."

"He lost his virginity on his birthday."

"Good."

"It's was awkward, but we got through it."

"It will get better," I said in earnest.

"I know." There was an awkward silence. "I'm gonna go."

"Tori?"

"Yes, Nate?"

"I wish you didn't hate Gina."

"I don't hate her. I envy her."

"You envy her?"

"She could have you, and she chooses not to. You had to dump me to get rid of me. I'm weak."

I didn't even know how to answer that. I thought about it for a minute. I thought I should remind her that I dumped Gina, too. Instead, I decided to focus on Tori.

"I dumped you so that you could live a happy life."

She stared at the ground for a moment before she looked up at me.

"Happy Birthday, Nate. I love you."

I didn't reply, not because I didn't love her. I did. I just didn't want to give her anything else to hang onto.

She slipped out the door quietly. I don't know why, exactly, but my eyes welled up with tears, and they slid from the corners of my eyes, past my temples, and landed on the pillow. I lay there for a few minutes wallowing in self pity.

Finally, I sat up, wiped the tears from my face and stated, "This is your birthday. You need to put on a happy face." Then I thought better of it. "Fuck it." I climbed under the covers and went to sleep.

I'm not sure how long I was asleep, but I woke up to Burns standing over me.

"You gonna get up today?" he asked.

"For what?" I replied.

"It's your birthday."

"And?"

"And you have a civic duty to your family to go out there and let them celebrate."

"Let them celebrate without me."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen. I don't know what's got you so down, but you are getting up." He pulled back the covers. "Now get dressed, or I'll drag you out there in your boxers."

I got up against my will and pulled on my jeans. Burns was going through my drawers looking for an acceptable shirt.

"This should do," he muttered as he tossed it to me. "You want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay, then put your shoes on and let's go." He turned to me at the door. "And be extra nice to Maria. She busted her ass planning this shindig."

We walked in silence to the house. I wasn't even sure what time it was. The sun was high in the sky, so I figured it must be lunchtime. The house was unusually quiet.

"Where is everyone?"

"At the Game room, waiting for you."

"Already? Why aren't they waiting till dinner?"

"Because the kids have no school today. They wanted to make it an all day affair," Burns replied. "Don't worry, there's plenty of beer."

"Good," I grumbled.

I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth. Ten minutes later, we were on our way to the Game room. Of course, as soon as we crossed the threshold, everyone screamed, "Surprise!"

I played along. "Wow. I thought everyone forgot my birthday," I said in feigned surprise.

Kim burst forward. "Don't be ridiculous! I could never forget my little brother's birthday!"

I was immediately surrounded by a gaggle of well wishers. It was obvious, at least to me, that the ladies from this morning were keeping a low profile. I quickly excused myself when my phone began to ring. It was Wanda. I stepped outside to hear the call.

"Hey, beautiful," I said in a sedate tone.

"Happy Birthday!" There was a mixture of voices coming from the other end. I could make out both Ian and Wanda's voices but not the others.

"Thank you! Where are you?"

"We are out here in the middle of the desert!"

"Who all is with you?"

"Me and Ian, Jamie, and Ice."

"That's great of you guys, really."

"Wait, Ian wants to talk to you."

A moment later, Ian spoke. "Hey, buddy, happy birthday. How are things up there?"

"It's cold. I'm bored."

"Well, it's hot here, and rainy season is coming soon. That means everyone will have to move deeper to keep dry."

I chuckled. "Sounds kinda like spring cleaning."

"I never thought of it like that. How are my parents?"

"They're fine. You want me to get them?"

"If it's not too much trouble."

"No, sure, hang on." I opened the door and scanned the room. I honed in on Maggie pretty quickly and crossed the room to her. "Ian's on the phone."

"Is everything okay?" she asked with a worried look on her face.

"Yes, they called to wish me happy birthday and couldn't pass up the chance to talk to you."

"Oh!" She sounded delighted.

I handed her the phone and headed for the food. Mexican. I created a couple of tacos, grabbed a beer, and headed for the corner.

Priscilla skipped over and stood in front of me. "I made you a present, Uncle Nate," she said in a sweet voice.

"You did! What is it?"

She held out a small package wrapped haphazardly in tissue paper and tied together with a crude bow made out of ribbon.

I opened my eyes wide to show my excitement. "Can I open it?"

"Uh huh!"

I put my plate down and took the present from her tiny hands. As I slowly opened it, I glanced up and saw that Gina was watching. As I removed the wrapping, Gina stepped closer, eager to see my prize—or maybe she just wanted to see my reaction; I don't know. I stayed focused on the gift. It was a braided bracelet made out of jute with a metal disc in the center with the letter "N" etched into it.

"This is beautiful! Did you make this all by yourself?"

"No. Victoria helped me."

"This is fantastic. Will you help me put it on?"

Priscilla shook her head, but she was struggling to hook the clasp that Victoria had fashioned.

"Let me help," Gina offered as she stepped forward. "This bracelet is awesome! You really did a nice job!"

"Victoria did most of it. She let me help."

"I bet if I asked her, she'd say you did most of it, and she only helped."

"Maybe," she answered shyly.

"If you ever make anymore, I would love one," Gina replied.

"Okay!" Priscilla replied, excited at the prospect of making another bracelet. "I have a kit. I got it for Christmas."

I took Priscilla by the hand. "Tell you what. I'll help you make one for Gina."

"Oh, thank you, Uncle Nate!" She lunged forward and hugged me tight. "Can I go tell mommy?"

"Sure."

Priscilla turned and ran off. Gina picked up my plate and handed it to me, then sat in the space the plate had been in.

"You are so good with kids," Gina exclaimed.

"Well, she is my niece."

"You deserve to have a little girl of your own."

"So do you, Angel."

A pained look came over her face.

"Do you want to take a walk?" I offered.

"Evan is watching me like a hawk."

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah."

"It's a nice bracelet."

"You should go to him."

"I love you, Nate. I should have stayed today."

"No. You were right to go," I said stoically.

She leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. "Happy birthday. I'll talk to you later."

I raised my beer to her. "Later."

What followed was me pounding down beer after beer. By the time I opened my presents, I was feeling no pain. Burns stayed at my side and helped me open the gifts. He tried to get me to stop drinking, but I argued that it was my birthday, and I'd get drunk if I wanted to.

I opened my eyes. Light filtered into the room. I was confused. My room should be pitch black. I focused on the dresser for a moment, but my eyes were pulled to the wall which was covered with a mosaic of color. As I realized where I was, I rolled over quickly. I was alone. _Shit! Did I make love to her? _I scrambled out of the bed and quickly pulled my clothes on. I debated on who I should go to for answers. I surely didn't want to go to Victoria. _What if I ran into Blake? He'd probably want to punch the shit out of me_. _Damn it! Why did I have to get drunk?_ It wasn't enough that I got drunk. I was a blackout drunk. I could remember nothing after opening the gifts. I walked down the hall to the bathroom. No one was in the bunk house. I washed up and brushed my teeth using my finger since my toothbrush was in the bathroom at the house. I wondered where Victoria was. I could only assume that when she woke up, she bolted to find Blake to try and make amends. _Unless she is breaking up with him. What a fucking mess! _

I peeked into the window of the gameroom. My eyes immediately fell upon Gina who was nose deep in a book. Blake was also present and accounted for. School was in session. It was morning. I had lost a good portion of the late afternoon and the entire night.

I made my way to the house. I walked in, and a crowd was assembled in the living room watching TV. Among them was Victoria. I wanted to run.

"Look what the cat dragged in!" Holly exclaimed.

I could feel the heat rise up in my face.

"Good Morning," I said cautiously.

Victoria rose from her seat and approached me. "Are we feeling okay?"

I wasn't sure how to answer her question, so I didn't.

"Oh my God, you're not still drunk, are you?"

"No."

I needed to ask her questions, but I didn't want to do it in front of the crowd that was sitting in the living room.

"Are you hung over?" Uncle George asked.

"Of course, he's hung over. Just look at him," Nadine exclaimed.

"Come on," Victoria replied. "I think there's still some coffee left in the kitchen."

I followed her without a word. We entered the kitchen, and it was empty.

"Damn! There's no coffee left. I'll make a fresh pot," she said cheerfully.

I wasn't sure how to start my inquiry of the events of last night.

She filled the machine with water and opened the cabinet to retrieve the filters.

"Tori…"

"Yes?" she replied as she filled the filter with coffee.

"Last night…" I couldn't even bring myself to admit that I didn't remember being with her.

She plugged the coffee filter into the machine and pressed the start button, then swung around to face me.

"I have never seen you so trashed!" she said with a smile. "You know you're cute when you are drunk."

"Did I do anything stupid?"

"You mean besides smile a lot?"

"I smiled a lot?"

"Well, I don't really think your brain was working. Sentences were not in your repertoire. You mostly nodded and smiled. Finally, we carried you to my room because it was too far to carry you to the cave. We figured if you had to puke, it would be better for a bathroom to be close by."

"Is Blake pissed off?"

"Why would he be pissed off? He's a little disappointed, but I wasn't about to have sex with him in your bed."

I closed my eyes, trying to make sense of what she had just said. "He wanted to have sex with you while I was passed out in your bed?"

"Yeah, but I told him no."

"That's disgusting."

"I don't think it's disgusting. A little inappropriate, maybe."

"What if I had woke up?"

She scrunched her eyebrows together and cocked her head to the side. "I don't know."

"Do you not think that if the two of you were fucking, and I woke up that it wouldn't be disgusting?"

"Nate, what the hell are you talking about?"

"You, in the bed, with me and Blake."

Victoria burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"I didn't sleep in my room last night with you. Gina did. I slept in your room in the cave, alone."

I raised my hand to my head after hearing this revelation. "So, we didn't…"

"No. Burns suggested that I sleep in your room, and I thought it was a good idea. You and I did not cross any lines."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I remembered that she said that Gina slept with me. "What about Gina? Did anything happen between me and her?"

"Well if you don't remember, then you'll have to ask her."

"Jesus Christ! Where's Evan?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him this morning."

I paced the floor trying to think. "Where's Burns?"

"I don't know. I got up late. The only people I've seen are the ones in the living room."

I marched into the living room. "Has anyone seen Burns today?"

Carl sat forward. "Yeah, he's with Evan and Tom. They're digging a new latrine."

"Thank you." I turned around and practically ran into Victoria.

"Are you happy now? Come back in the kitchen and drink your coffee."

I grimaced and followed her.

"You really need to chill," she said as she handed me the coffee. "Have a seat." I did as she asked. She came up behind me and began to massage my neck and shoulders.

"I don't remember anything after I opened the gifts."

"Well, Gina wrote down who gave you each gift. She said she wanted to make sure you thanked them when you were sober."

"She did?"

"It was almost like she was your wife."

"Where was Evan during all of this?"

"He was playing poker with Me, Blake, Tom, Holly, and Carl."

"Was he pissed off at Gina?"

"No, not until Gina told him she was staying in my room with you."

"Jesus."

"She pulled him outside, and when he came back a few minutes later, he seemed okay."

"I wonder what she said to him."

"You'd have to ask her."

"I think I'll go talk to her right now."

"Maybe you should eat something first. You've got nothing on your stomach."

I grabbed her hands on my shoulders and pulled them around my neck. "Thank you."

Her face was by my ear. She spoke in low voice. "I would have stayed with you if Gina hadn't already volunteered."

I pulled her palm to my lips and kissed it gently. "You're a good girl."

She pulled her hand away. "You're so stupid."

I laughed.

I finished my cup of coffee. Another hug, and I was out the door and headed for the gameroom. I knocked lightly on the door.

Max opened the door. "Nate, good morning! What can we do for you?"

"Can I steal Gina for a few minutes?"

Miranda walked over. "She's in the middle of a test. Can it wait?"

"Sure. Of course." I backed away, embarrassed that I had interrupted the classroom. I didn't know where to go. I certainly couldn't go back to the cave. That would mean passing Evan. I wasn't ready to face him until I knew what had happened with Gina. I decided to sit on the stoop in front of the bunkhouse.

About fifteen minutes later, Gina rounded the corner of the building. I stood up immediately.

"Nathan!" She wrapped her arms around me.

"Gina."

"I'm glad you are awake. You got pretty trashed last night."

"Yeah, about that. I don't remember anything. What happened last night?"

"You got drunk."

"I know I got drunk. Victoria said you spent the night with me."

"Well, somebody had to. What if you had drowned in your own vomit?"

"Did I vomit?"

She sighed. "A few times. I did manage to get you to hit the trash can."

"So, I guess we didn't—you know."

"Would you feel better if I told you that you tried?"

"What do you mean I tried?"

"Well you didn't get a hard-on or anything, but you kept pulling me close. You were kissing my neck, and you tried to pull off my shirt."

"Oh my God, Gina, I'm so sorry."

"I was flattered, really. You told me that you love me."

"It's not like I haven't told you that."

"I know, but they say when you are drunk, the things you say are the truth."

"You didn't believe me?"

"Um, sure."

I stepped forward and placed my hand on her cheek. "Gina, I don't tell people that I love them if I don't mean it."

"I know. There's love and then there's _in love_. I figured the only one you were in love with was Wanda."

"I'd marry you right now if you said yes."

Gina reached up and brushed a stray lock of hair back behind my ear. "I believe you."

"But you won't," I said sullenly.

"Evan, remember?"

"How did you manage to get him to agree to you sleeping with me?"

"That was easy. I just pointed out how trashed you were. I told him there was no way you could possibly do anything that I couldn't handle. He took one look at you and agreed."

"So, he's not going to try to take me out?"

"No, but…"

"But what?"

"He thinks I slept on the floor. I wouldn't tell him that I slept in the bed if I were you. That could definitely be an issue."

"Gotcha."

A thought came into my head, and it made me smile.

She looked at me suspiciously. "What?"

"So, if I pretend to get trashed, you can tell Evan that you are going to stay with me to keep an eye on me and we could…"

"Nathan Downey! How could you!"

I laughed.

Gina laughed, too.


	74. Chapter 74

**Hello everyone! I returned from my fabulous week in Florida. I never saw the beach. I saw something better: the earth from above. I went to a paragliding contest and helped out for the week retrieving the pilots as they landed anywhere from a block to 40 miles away. My reward, besides seeing their grateful faces when I pulled up to take them back to base, was getting the chance to fly tandem with a wonderful instructor not once, but twice! I spent 2 months talking myself into doing it, and I'm glad I did. It was awesome! I made a lot of new friends, and I can't wait to go back and do it all again. **

**I've even gotten back to writing…so here it is…the long awaited chapter. I hope you enjoy!**

THE BABY GAME

04/05/2003 – Dear diary. That sounds corny, but the truth is I haven't written anything since my birthday. That was the day I hit rock bottom. My family threw me an awesome party, and I got so trashed I didn't even remember most of it. It seems that Victoria and Gina, the two women who loved me even though I had hurt them both were there for me in my hour of need. They took care of me in my drunken state as well as the morning after.

I was so appreciative I made a conscious decision to respect the relationships that each of them has with their partners. I cannot deny that Evan and Blake have been good to these ladies, and they would probably be happier in the long run than either could ever be with me. So, over the last two months, I've thrown myself into my work by day and dated my left hand by night. It's not so bad, and every month, I make it a point to go to the mines to spend time with Nadia. We both get a ton of satisfaction from my visits.

Victoria and I have remained friends. I sometimes miss the familiarity of her touch, but the killer is Gina. Every time I see her, I want her, so I've found myself avoiding her, just so I don't have to deal with the anxiety of not being able to touch her.

I suppose the reason I chose today to write in my diary is because today is the day Wanda and Ian return to the mountain. I'm excited to see them both. I'm counting on them to bring some excitement back into my life.

I spent my day preparing for their arrival. Kyle and Sunny were coming as well as Jamie and Lily. I asked Maria and Kim to do their magic on the unfinished house in the woods. Maggie worked on the bedroom in the main house while Megan and I tackled the empty room in the bunkhouse. Jamie would be sleeping here as well as one of the couples since there would be no heat in the O'Shea home until the rain ceased, and we were able to transport the firewood to its final destination.

As the evening wore on, the majority of the people on the mountain went to bed. Only Maggie and Tom, Burns, Megan, and myself remained ever vigilant of their impending arrival. It was just after midnight when we saw the lights of the van as it pulled into the driveway. There was a mad dash out the back door. Ian and Kyle were seated up front, and they were the first ones out. They immediately made a beeline for their parents. The back door swung open, and Jamie emerged, followed by Lily. In moments, they were in the arms of their heart's desire: Megan and Burns respectively.

As Wanda stepped from the van, I found myself gravitating toward her. She opened her arms to receive me. I slowly stepped forward and pulled her into a tight embrace. A rush went through my body.

"I missed you so much," I whispered.

"It's good to be home," she whispered back.

The fact that she called my mountain "home" made me extremely happy.

Ian approached us from behind. "I hope you missed me that much."

I released Wanda, threw my arms around him, and heartily patted him on the back.

"Are you kidding? I've been bored to death without you here."

"How are things with Victoria?" Ian asked.

"Unfortunately, that ship has sailed. I'm stuck dreaming about your wife again."

Ian let out a heavy sigh. "You really didn't need to tell me that." Ian put his arm around Wanda and kissed her on the forehead.

He directed his attention back to me. "Have you been in the house?"

"No. I asked Maria and Kim if they would make it…livable again. Tonight, you can sleep in the house or in the bunkhouse; however you and Kyle decide to do it. I had Burns go into town for some firewood. It's still in the back of the truck. It rained yesterday and today, and I'm afraid the truck will sink if we drive her through the ball field."

"Yeah, I may have to transport it by wheelbarrow."

I nodded in agreement. "Well, I'm going to bed." I turned to Wanda. "Good night, beautiful."

"Good night, Nate," she trilled.

The following morning, I entered the house to find almost everyone on the mountain milling about, eating and engaging in conversations with the new arrivals. Everyone seemed pleased to have Ian and his posse return—with the exception of Gina. She appeared to be rather annoyed at the prospect of having Wanda on the mountain.

It had rained again overnight. Ian asked for volunteers to help transport the firewood. Evan was one of the first to throw his hat into the ring. Since school had been canceled in honor of the homecoming, Gina announced that she was going to spend her morning catching up on her laundry.

I wanted to confront her about her lack of enthusiasm for Wanda's return, and I thought the root cellar would be the perfect location to do just that. After helping Tori and Holly with the breakfast dishes, I headed for the root cellar.

Gina was shoving her bed sheets into a washer as I entered.

"Hey, beautiful," I said in a cheerful voice.

"You must be confused," she answered coldly.

"I don't think so," I replied.

She remained silent as she continued to sort through her clothes, dropping them into different machines. I stood with my arms folded across my chest, watching her as I pondered how to broach the subject I had come to discuss.

"What can I do for you, Nathan?" she asked, clearly perturbed by my presence.

"I'm glad you asked that question. I came to find out why you are angry. Did you and Evan have a fight?"

"I'm not angry, and no, Evan and I are fine."

"Oh, good. Do you need any help with that?"

"Nope."

"Okay." I turned toward the door.

"Now that you buddy is back, you don't need to worry about me."

I stopped dead in my tracks and spun around to face her. "So, you _are_ angry."

"I have no reason to be angry," she said as she sat on one of the cots with her back against the wall.

"That's right you don't. Wanda is a married woman, and you are in a solid relationship with Evan. If anyone should be angry, it should be me. I'm the single guy around here."

"Yeah, it must suck running out of women to sleep with…but oh, wait, you've never slept with Wanda, have you?"

The comment was meant to sting, and it did. I took a deep breath and crossed the room to where Gina was sitting. I slid onto the cot next to her and took her hand in mine.

"I wish I had slept with her."

Gina immediately pulled her hand away from me and tried to get up. I grabbed her around the waist to keep her from going anywhere.

"Do you want to know why I wish I had slept with her?" I sputtered as we struggled.

"Cause you're a man whore. Now let me go!"

"Sit down, Gina!" I urged. She sat back, and I maneuvered myself, so I was sitting Indian style facing her. "I wish I had slept with her because then I would have realized a lot sooner that you are the girl for me, and maybe you wouldn't have fallen for Evan."

At that moment, I took the opportunity to lean forward. I tilted my head, indicating that I was going to kiss her. I wasn't sure how she would respond. She wouldn't look at me, but she didn't back away either. I kissed her gently on the lips. She didn't object. I slowly placed my hand under her chin and tilted her face toward mine. I could see tears pooling in her eyes. I kissed her again, and then I opened my mouth and closed it over her lips, tasting her sweetness. She responded and what followed was the most sensuous, magical tour of her mouth. It easily could have escalated into a rip off your clothes, take me, I'm yours steamy sexcapade. I wanted it. Just as I was about to slide my hand up her shirt to her magnificent breasts, she broke the kiss and pushed me away.

In my desperation, I said the only thing I could at that moment. "I love you, Gina."

I searched her eyes for some kind of hope, and I found it. A tear fell to her cheek.

"Oh, Nathan, I love you too, but…"

Her sincere declaration brought me back to my senses. "But one day, you'll change your mind, and I'll be here waiting."

"You will?"

I scooted off the cot.

"You can take that to the bank." I kissed her on the forehead and walked slowly toward the door.

"Nate?" she called out as I opened the door.

"Yes?"

"There aren't any banks anymore."

I turned to her and smiled. "I'll build one."

I felt good as I left the building.

That evening, most of us flocked to the gameroom. It was like old times. Ian played poker with Tori, Sunny, Blake, Carl, and Tom. Of course, I commanded the pool table. Kyle was eager to learn some of my tricks. Wanda put her name on the list and bided her time by helping Maggie and Maria put an insanely difficult puzzle together. There was no sign of Gina and Evan until after ten o'clock. The teens showed up as well. Sarah informed me that they had all come from watching a movie up at the house.

The group invaded the game room and took over the empty table with a game of Yahtzee. Tom decided to call it a night, so Evan took his place at the poker table. Gina remained at the Yahtzee table.

I sauntered over to the teens. "Yahtzee, huh? I can't remember the last time I played. Mind if I join you?"

Sarah tapped the empty chair next to her. "You can sit here!" she trilled.

Gina shot me a look, and I noticed the corners of her mouth begin to curl. She quickly suppressed the smile, but I knew she was happy that I had abandoned Wanda to hang out with her. The beer had been flowing all night. I had refrained from drinking while I played pool, but now I was ready to let loose. I got up and snagged a beer.

Jamie won the first game. Gina and I continued to eye each other. It was very much a non-verbal flirt. I was enjoying the hell out of it, and it seemed that she was, too. After my third beer, I started to really loosen up, probably too much. Gina mentioned that she was hot, and I responded with, "Yes, you are." Gina's blush was obvious.

Gina won the second game. I got up from the table to go to the bathroom, and I stopped at Gina's chair and hugged her from behind.

"Good game, sweetheart. I love you."

Several heads snapped around and stared at us.

Gina was quick to cover by saying, "Yeah, I know; you love all the ladies."

I responded with, "so true."

I never finished my third beer. I knew if I got any more inebriated, I'd probably end up in a lot of trouble.

After our third game, we decided to call it a night. The poker gang closed up shop as well. I hugged Wanda and said good night. Then I approached Gina.

"Can I get a hug?"

She smiled. "Sure."

We hugged, and I probably held her longer than I should have, but she was gracious about it. I was worried that Gina would be angry with me. She seemed calm and cool throughout the third game and even now, but I was in no position to guess what might be going through her head. That night, I fell asleep with Gina on my mind.

The next few months were busy ones. Baseball practice started two days after we arrived. The kids were thrilled to have their 'coach' back and eager to get back on the ballfield.

Kyle, Sunny, and Lily left after ten days as was the original plan, but Jamie convinced Mel to let him stay for the summer. He slept in the bunkhouse, and Tom and Maggie volunteered to be his temporary guardians.

Ian, Burns, and I formed _Three Guys Construction,_ and we busied ourselves by working to finish the O'Shea house. Wanda begged us to complete the kitchen first. She was anxious to cook for her man; although, she claimed she wanted to cook for all of us.

I was elated to find that my relationship with Wanda had become surprisingly easy and laid back. I didn't push for anything beyond friendship level. I suppose it was out of respect for Ian and my increasing desire to prove myself to Gina.

Wanda and I often hung out together during the evening hours. Although we played pool, our latest fad was scrabble. We got into some pretty intense battles. Wanda was a tough competitor, and she beat me more often than not. Ian and Burns poked fun at me over it. Since neither could beat me at pool, they relished in the fact that a high-schooler could beat the college boy.

All in all, Ian handled the close friendship between Wanda and I with what could only be described as "a grain of salt." In the evenings, Wanda and I shared what we liked to call "play time," especially on the days when Gina wasn't around. When we were really bored and feeling silly, I'd wrap my arm around Wanda's neck and knock on the top of her head yelling, "Hello, Wanderer! I know you're in there!" As soon as I'd release her, she'd run around the poker table with me in hot pursuit. She'd scream like a small child for Ian to protect her.

Ian would fold his cards in his hands and calmly say, "if you two don't stop, I'm going to separate you!"

We'd both yell out, "Yes, dad!" and run back to the pool table, laughing hysterically. The fun was back in my life.

Even Gina became more excepting of my friendship with Wanda. She pointed out to Evan that Ian did not display any jealousy and encouraged Evan to do the same. As a result, Gina and I sometimes took long walks in the woods together. I tried my hardest to set up boundaries for myself, but being alone in the woods with her always left me weak. I would often steal a kiss from her. I say "stealing", but truth be told, she seemed to accept the kiss, and in my eyes, even encouraged it. So that was my relationship: stolen kisses and wishful thinking.

In June, Kyle, Sunny, and Lily returned to the mountain. They were hoping to stay for a month, maybe more. Wanda often apologized to me for making me share her with her girlfriends, but I didn't mind. Wanda was happy, and it made me happy to see her that way. I took the opportunity to hang with the boys. Some nights after dinner, Ian, Kyle, Burns, and I would go fishing. I wasn't much of a fisherman, but for me, it was more of a male bonding thing.

In late June, Melanie called while we were in the game room eating dinner. I happened to be sitting next to Wanda as she conversed with her ex-host and close friend. She took the phone, and a few moments later, her eyes widened, and the elation on her face was undeniable.

"Melanie and Jared are getting married!" she yelled out to the whole room. "When?" she asked. Seconds later, she bellowed, "Early September!" She went back to hear conversation which I was privy to hear. "Awesome! We'll be there, although you know you _could _have the wedding here. I'm sure Nate would welcome everyone if you had it here at the mountain" There was a brief pause as Melanie answered her. "Well, it's just a thought. I love you, and I'm extremely happy to hear your news."

As she hung up the phone, I raised my eyebrow at her. "What if had said no?"

"Oh, please. Have you ever said no to me—ever?"

"She's got you there," Ian remarked.

"Look who's talking," I shot back.

"Hey, I've said no to her plenty of times. Why do you think we fight all the time?"

"Good point," Wanda replied. "Maybe you should say yes more often like Nate here." She put her arm around my shoulder and smiled at Ian.

"Nate says yes because he doesn't have to live with you," Ian countered before turning to me. "You know she's very high maintenance."

"I can handle that," I answered.

"_You _are not going to handle anything. Friends forever, remember?" Ian said snidely.

Wanda was quick to address Ian's jealousy. "Ian, one of the things I love most about you is that you are no pushover. I respect you for having boundaries when it comes to me. Besides, everyone knows there's only one Superman." She turned to me. "Sorry, Nate."

"Yeah, I'm used to being Robin."

"That would make Ian Batman, not Superman!" Wanda exclaimed. Ian and Wanda tried to suppress their laughter.

"So, I don't know anything about superheroes," I said with a hint of embarrassment. "It's okay. It's funny," I admitted. I cracked a smile, and we all had a good laugh.

That night, Gina came knocking on my door. I opened the door, and she rushed in with tear stained cheeks.

"Why not me?" she cried as flung herself face down on the bed.

"Whoa, Gina, what's wrong?" I was blindsided by her pain.

She rolled over to face me. "Haven't I been a good girlfriend?"

I didn't know how to answer that considering my "sneak a kiss" relationship with her.

"I've been with Evan for almost a year now, and he never even hints at marriage."

I was about to offer my opinion, but Gina went off on a tirade.

"Oh, but he talks about babies all the time! He says a baby would help keep the human race alive for future generations." She sat up abruptly. "How am I supposed to tell him there will be no babies?" She started to cry. "I want to have ba—by!" she blubbered.

I sat on the bed and pulled her into my arms. "I know," I whispered. I stroked the top of her head as she sobbed into my chest. "Gina, I could live with no children," I said in an effort to soothe her.

She pulled back and looked me dead in the eye. "Sure, you say that now, but as soon as your buddy pops one out, you'll be wishing you had one, too."

I hadn't really thought about Wanda with a baby. I mean, she seemed so young. I tried to approach the subject logically.

"Gina, do you really want to stay with a man who doesn't want the same things you do?"

"What are you saying?" she snapped.

"I was just pointing out that he wants children, and you don't."

She exploded. "You're an ass! I just told you; I want children. I can't have children. Evan and I want the same things. Now _you_, on the other hand, want Wanda."

I should have just shut up, but I didn't. "So, technically, Evan and I are the same. We both want what we can't have." I wanted to take the words back as soon as they fell out of my mouth.

"See! I knew you still loved her!"

I tried to cover. "I was talking about you!" Unfortunately, I wasn't very convincing.

"I _hate_ you, Nathan Downey! I hate you for making me doubt Evan!" She bounced off the bed. I grabbed her wrist to stop her. "Let go, Nate!" she growled.

"Gina, you're being ridiculous. You know I love you."

She gave me an icy stare. "Well, I love Evan."

Her remark stung as I'm sure it was mean to. I released her wrist, and she fled the room without another word.

_What the fuck? What just happened? _I thought to myself. _I was here alone in my room. I was feeling good about my relationships with everyone including Gina and Wanda, and suddenly, ten minutes later, Gina hates me. What the hell did I do to deserve this? _I was aggravated at the whole scenario. I ended up taking a long walk and ended up at the house. It was quiet. Everyone had gone to bed. I sat and watched a rerun of Saturday Night Live and pounded down a few beers before returning to the cave and the solace of my bed.

In the morning, as usual, I met the guys at the O'Shea house. Now that the plumbing was in place, we were working in the kitchen installing the countertops, cabinets, and the sink. Wanda skipped into the kitchen looking fresh as a daisy.

"I'm going to town. Does anyone need anything while I'm there?"

"Just your safe return," I replied.

She approached Ian, kissed him, and whispered something to him.

"You don't need it. I know I'm right," he responded.

Wanda kissed Burns on the cheek. Then she sauntered over to me and kissed me quickly on the lips which took me by surprise.

"What was that for?" I asked. I immediately looked at Ian, unsure of his reaction to Wanda's sudden outburst of affection.

Ian responded. "For luck."

"She needs luck?" I asked, confused by the whole thing.

"I don't think she needs any luck, but _she _thinks she does," Ian clarified.

This didn't really answer my question, but I decided to go with it. "Oh, well, okay—good luck, beautiful!"

It was a few hours later when Wanda returned. She announced that she was back and disappeared in the finished part of the house. A bit later, she slinked into the kitchen, hiding something behind her back.

"Ian?" she said in what I would describe as a nervous voice.

"Yeah, Babe?" he answered from under the sink where he was hooking up the lines.

"Can you come out from under there, please?"

Ian scooted out from under that sink as if she had yelled, "Fire!" He stood squarely in front of her with his feet spread apart in what appeared to me to be a firm stance. Why he needed a firm stance was beyond me.

"Give it to me straight," he said sternly.

My immediate thought was that she must be ill. "Give it to me straight" was the kind of thing one asked if someone was diagnosed with cancer or some other grave disease.

Wanda pulled something small from behind her back. "You were right."

Ian bent his knees, grabbed Wanda around the hips, and scooped her off the floor. He danced around the kitchen with Wanda held high in the air. Then he blurted out, "We're pregnant!"

I realized the object she was holding was a home pregnancy test. Suddenly, all the cryptic behavior from this morning made sense. I said the first thing that popped into my head. "You mean I'm going to be an uncle?"

"You mean _I'm_ going to be an uncle," Burns blurted out.

"You're _both_ going to be uncles," Wanda clarified.

"I love you, babe!" Ian trilled.

"I love you, too," she replied.

Ian put Wanda down, and I immediately crossed the kitchen to her. I pulled her into a hug and squeezed. "Congratulations. I'm happy for you. Now, if you just name him Nathan," I joked.

"Nate, you know I love you, but this baby is going to be an Ian Thomas O'Shea, Jr."

"What if it's a girl?" I asked.

"It's not," she said adamantly.

"I wouldn't mind a daughter as long as she is like you," Ian stated emphatically, and then he kissed her.

"Well, you need to get back to work. This house needs to be perfect before the baby arrives!" she trilled.

As we returned to the task at hand, I couldn't help thinking about Gina. I knew she would be devastated over this news. I tried to put Gina out of my mind for now and revel in the jubilation that Wanda and Ian shared.

The news spread quickly through the mountain—and to Gina. I didn't see her or Evan at dinner. That evening I hung back at the house waiting to see if she would join the teens to watch her usual dose of sitcoms on the TV. She was a no show. I decided to check the game room in case she was possibly there with Evan, who often spent his nights playing poker. Evan was there, but Gina was not.

I was beginning to worry. I approached Evan.

"Hey, Evan. I was looking for Gina. I thought she might be up at the house, but she wasn't there."

"She said she wasn't feeling well. She decided to stay in tonight."

"I noticed she wasn't at dinner, either?"

"Yeah, I missed dinner, too. We took a nap together. I asked her if she wanted me to bring her something to eat, and she said she wasn't hungry."

"Do you mind if I go check on her?"

"You can try. She practically kicked me out, telling me she'd be okay."

"I'll take some heal with me just in case."

I left Evan at the poker table. He didn't seem to be overly concerned by her condition.

I entered the cave. It was reasonably quiet. Most of the mountain was out enjoying the evening. I knocked gently on the makeshift door to Gina and Evan's room.

I called out to her. "Gina? It's me, Nate."

There was no answer.

I gave it another try. "Gina, I know why you're holed up in your room. Do you want to talk about it?"

Still no answer.

"Okay, I guess I'll go then." Against my better judgment, I turned to go.

"Nate?" she whimpered from inside the room.

I took that as an invitation. I pushed the wooden screen aside and entered. It was dark in the room. The only light was what filtered in from the lantern in the hallway. I thought it ironic that we had spent the last month making the O'Shea house livable, and yet, those of us in the cave had no electricity other than the battery run lamps and lanterns. I crossed the room and switched on the lamp. Gina blinked in the bright light. Her face was pruny, and her hair was a knotted mess. It was obvious she had been crying.

"I'm sorry, angel."

I hadn't called Gina angel in a long time. She collapsed on the bed and began to cry again. I knelt next to her and pulled her into my arms. I kissed the top of her head. "I know," I said. I plopped onto my butt and rocked back and forth with her in my arms.

"I'm such a waste as a human. Sometimes, I wish a soul had taken my body. At least, they wouldn't be able to reproduce."

I don't know why, but her statement angered me. I grabbed her by the arms and pulled her away from me, so I could look her in the face.

"Listen to me," I said sternly. "You are not a waste! You are a valuable human being. Before you came along, I was just a guy who was going through the motions of leading a group of people without a care for myself. Now, I care if I live. I care because I want to be here for you!"

I thought she would get it, but instead, she shot back her reply with venom. "You care about that damn parasite! You want to be here for her!"

I don't know what happened in that moment, but I snapped. I slapped Gina in the face. "She can't help it if she needs a human to survive! You would do the same thing!"

It wasn't until then that I realized what I had done.

"Is that all you've got? Come on! You hit like a girl!" she taunted.

"Gina, I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"Get out," she growled.

"You called her a parasite," I said in my defense.

"Get out," she reiterated.

"Gina…"

"Get out!" she screamed.

At that moment, Evan burst into the room. "What the hell? Get away from her!" he yelled.

I pivoted in his direction. He came at me and punched me square in the mouth. I went into defense mode, and in an instant, we were both rolling around on the floor.

"Stop it!" Gina yelled.

I landed a blow, and Evan rolled backward. I wiped the blood from my lip as I rose to my feet.

"Nate, please leave," she ordered.

"You need to tell him the truth," I replied.

"What truth?" Evan asked. "Are you fucking him?"

"No!" she answered just a little too defensively.

"You're lying!" he shot back.

"She's not lying."

"And why should I believe you?" he barked.

"Because if I was sleeping with her, I would have taken her from you by now."

"You son of a bitch. You think you're all that; don't you?"

"Evan!" Gina cried out. "There is nothing going on between me and Nate. I thought he was my friend, but I was wrong. He doesn't care about anyone except himself." She shot me a dirty look.

"Then what do you need to tell me?" he demanded.

She paused. I was hoping she would come clean and tell him about her inability to get pregnant.

"Tell him," I goaded.

"I wasn't sick today. I was upset because Wanda is pregnant. I know how much you want a baby, but I'm not ready to have a baby, and I know you are going to pressure me. I mean, we're not even married, Evan!"

I couldn't believe it. Instead of telling him the truth, she lied and twisted everything to pressure him into marriage. I wanted to puke. I wanted to blurt out the truth. I almost did. I opened my mouth to speak, and she shot me the most venomous look that I snapped my mouth shut. Evan rose to his feet and dropped to his knees on the mattress.

"Doll, there is no hurry for you to get pregnant. Everything will happen just like you want it to. I love you, Gina."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Oh, for Christ's sake, you are pathetic."

"Good-bye, Nate," Gina said with a wave of her hand.

I left the cave almost in a daze. I was so disappointed in Gina.

And heartbroken.

Very heartbroken.

11


	75. Chapter 75

**After taking a hiatus from writing for several months, I have finally gotten the urge to write again. Lucky for you Host lovers, it is Nate's Diary that has drawn me in. Maybe it is the influx of Host readers lately that has boosted my ego, I don't know. Anyway, I am waiting for Book 3 of For the Love of Brynn to be formatted. Then I will have to read through the entire thing and look for errors. I have about 2 weeks, so I will see if I can crank out another chapter before then. For now, enjoy and shoot me a few lines if you like. I always try to answer.**

THE END OF THE FAIRYTALE

07/25/03 – It's been nearly a month since I last put an entry into my journal. There hasn't been much to say since that fateful day when Wanda announced that she was pregnant. Gina and I haven't spoken at all since then. I took off to the mines and spent a week with Nadia shortly after the demise of our friendship. Even Maria didn't question my long absence after I went to her and poured my heart out about the fiasco. I think she was just happy that there wasn't any snow to contend with.

When I returned, Maria offered to do my laundry and even delivered my breakfast to my room for about a week, so I wouldn't have to be in the same room with Gina.

The only constant in my life is Three Guys Construction and Wanda. She's never known about my relationship with Gina. If she does know, she's never admitted it or questioned me about it. She and I have been hanging out together every night since my return. Ian doesn't seem to mind. Maybe it's because she's pregnant; I don't know. Anyway, this is my life. It pretty much sucks.

I closed my journal and sighed. I didn't want to get up and face the day, but I knew we were having a baseball game, and I was expected to lead my team to victory against Ian's.

I donned a pair of shorts, left my room, and trudged up the path to the house. As I entered the kitchen, I was greeted by a few of my usual team members: Burns, Lily, and Carlos. It was always the same when Kyle was in town. Ian chose Kyle first, and I chose Burns. Ian chose Blake, and I chose Carlos. After that, it was anyone's guess on who was chosen. Wanda was usually a hot commodity for me, but this morning, Ian entered the kitchen and pulled me aside.

"I need to talk to you," Ian said in a low voice.

"Sure, what's up?"

"Outside," he mumbled as he headed for the front porch. I followed behind him. As I shut the front door, he turned to me. "I don't want you to choose Wanda for your team."

"Why? I'm not going to make her do a strip tease or anything."

Ian gave me a cold stare. "Strip tease, really?"

"It always helps when you are distracted."

"Jesus, Nate!"

"Okay, okay, then you give me Blake."

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

"Look, this isn't about my jealousy. I just don't want Wanda to play."

"Why not?"

"Because she's pregnant."

"She was pregnant last week, and you didn't mind if she played then."

"I did mind, but you know how she is; she doesn't listen. She's starting her fifth month, and she's really starting to show. I don't want her or the baby to get hurt."

"She's gonna be pissed, you know."

"I'll deal with her. Do I have your word?"

"Sure, man."

"Thanks." He patted me on the back.

That afternoon, we chose our teams. I could see the look on her face as she was passed over again and again. In the end, it came down to my last pick. It was between Wanda and Sarah. Wanda looked at me with expectation in her eyes. I glanced over at Ian, and he shook his head ever so slightly to indicate that I shouldn't choose her. I looked back at the girls and focused on Sarah.

"Sarah, you didn't play in the last game, did you?"

"No," she said in defeat.

"Well then, I think you should play today."

Sarah jumped up and down with excitement. Wanda folded her arms over her chest and pouted.

"Don't pout, Beautiful. You can be a cheerleader for my team." I held my arms out to receive her. Wanda shot Ian a look and came to me. I gave her a warm hug. That was the last carefree moment in my life…

About halfway through the game, Jamie sauntered off to the trees to go to the bathroom. A minute later, he came back yelling. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but a moment later, Jamie, Ian, Kyle, Blake, and Evan took off toward the woods. Me and Burns ran in from the field.

"What's going on?" Burns asked.

"Jamie saw two people watching us, and he didn't think they were humans."

"Oh, crap!" Burns exclaimed. He and I took off running. As we cleared the bushes, we saw Kyle and Blake on the ground on top of a man. Ian and Evan were chasing someone. I heard a truck engine roar to life and suddenly, I saw the vehicle backup down the dirt road and peel off down the mountain.

"Fuck! He got away!" I lamented.

I walked to where the man was trapped under the Kyle's weight. "Get him up," I ordered.

Kyle and Blake pulled the man to his feet. He tried to pull away, but Kyle slapped his hand around the man's throat.

"Go ahead, try to run," Kyle challenged his prisoner.

"Stop!" I ordered. "Before he shreds his brain. He'll be of no use to us dead."

Ian came up behind his brother. "Relax, Kyle. Let's get him back to the others." He stepped up to Blake. "I'll take him."

Blake stepped aside for Ian. Kyle released the man's throat. As we started to walk back to the ball field, the man refused to move his feet, so Kyle and Ian took it upon themselves to drag him. I studied the man as we walked. He seemed fixated on Burns. I knew I should probably keep Burns close by to help keep the man from doing anything stupid. We really did need him alive.

The clan was gathered on the other side of the bushes. Ian became the spokesperson.

"We got this one, but the other one got away. They were surveying the land. This is not good. We need to prepare for the worst."

The man they were holding was trembling.

Wanda tried to reassure him. "We don't want to hurt you."

"Wanderer, this is not your concern," Ian said coldly.

"Ian, look at him. He's scared to death."

"And what about us? Do you think we're not scared to death?" he argued.

The tears burst onto Wanda's cheeks.

I took the prisoner by the arm on Ian's side. "Go to her," I implored.

Ian let go of the prisoner and approached Wanda. He engulfed her in his arms.

"I'm sorry, babe. I love you. I'm just scared that our world is coming to an end just when it was beginning." He kissed the top of her head.

My heart was breaking for them—for everyone, really, but I was the leader, and I knew everyone would be looking to me for answers. I ordered everyone to go to the cave until further notice.

"I need to think," I explained. "We need to get the prisoner to the root cellar. I want to see Ian and Burns, Kyle, Tom, and Rob in the game room." I turned to Victoria, my warrior princess. "Will you guard the prisoner?"

Victoria stepped to me with her head held high. "No problem."

She's a girl!" Blake argued.

I turned sharply on my heels to address Blake. "She shot Ian at fifty yards and nearly killed him. I'm pretty sure she can take care of the likes of him."

"If you don't mid, I'd like to stand guard with her."

I glared at Blake who still seemed like a kid to me, and he glared right back at me. "Fine!" I growled. Without looking away from Blake, I continued, "Tom, will you get two guns from the arsenal?"

Tom nodded and left the scene without a word. At that point, my mind went to Gina. She generally avoided the baseball games. I knew she was with Kim and Holly watching TV up at the house. I summoned Megan. She came to me quickly.

"I need you to go to the house and get the girls out of there. Tell them to go to the cave. Tell them it's a direct order."

"I'll do it," Evan interjected.

"No. I need you to keep everyone inside the cave and take a headcount. If someone is missing, you send one of the guys to find that person. When we get to the gameroom, I'll have Rob check the bunkhouse for stragglers. Besides, it's best that you are here for Gina."

Evan nodded in agreement. Next, I turned to Ian's parents.

"Maggie and Tom, will you watch over Jamie and Danny?"

"Of course," Maggie exclaimed.

"What about me?" Wanda asked.

"And me?" Sunny chimed in. They were souls. They didn't belong in the cave, and they knew it.

"You take Sunny and go home," Ian ordered.

"No, I'm going with you," Wanda protested.

"Wanderer, why can't you just do as I ask?"

"I want to stay with you," she said adamantly. "We are a team."

"You need us," Sunny added. "We may be able to help."

"That's right. Remember, my father is a man of position," Wanda added.

This was a story that was relayed to me some months ago during a lengthy conversation with Ian and Burns. Burns explained the cast system that was used by the souls after they invaded the earth and read through our histories. Pet AKA Wanda came out on the "positive" side of things. In the grand scheme of the situation, Wanda had a valid point.

I looked at Ian. "We haven't got all day. They might be helpful."

Ian sighed. "Okay, but you sit quietly while we figure this out."

"I promise."

Ian placed his hand on Wanda's baby bump. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," she replied.

The prisoner was staring at them, but he didn't way a word. We all walked together toward the root cellar. The prisoner was walking on his own. It seemed the exchange between Wanda and Ian had somehow calmed him.

I decided to address the prisoner. "Do you have a name?"

"Eli," he answered.

"Well, Eli, we sure do wish you hadn't seen us. You and your friend have gotten us into quite a pickle. We are going to have to lock you up. The accommodations aren't the best, but it's the best we can do under the circumstances. We do not intend to harm you, but know this; if you attempt to escape, Victoria _will_ shoot you without a second thought."

Eli didn't answer, but walked in silence.

Burns and I escorted Eli into the root cellar.

"There's a cot for you to sit on. We'll be back in a bit. Remember, Victoria and Blake are just outside the door."

"What if I have to go to the bathroom?"

"Hold it," I said coldly.

He looked at Burns. "How come he doesn't talk?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's because he is worried about his family being taken away from him. Maybe, he'd rather see you dead."

Burns remained quiet and expressionless as we exited. He locked the door behind us.

"I don't want to see anyone die," he muttered.

I patted him on the back. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm letting my emotions get the better of me."

We left Victoria and Blake guarding the door and waiting for Tom's return. We joined the others and headed to the gameroom.

As we walked, Wanda spoke up. "Nate, you need to try to call Ice. They should know what's going on."

She was right. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed. To my surprise, Ice answered the phone. "Ice?"

"Hey, Nate. I'm at the food mart loading up the van with supplies. What's up?"

"We've got serious trouble."

"What kind of trouble?"

"We've been spotted by two souls. They were surveying the land next to the ball field. We were all there playing a game. They saw all of us. We caught one, but the other got away. It's only a matter of time before they come for us."

"What about the souls? Did they see Burns or Wanderer or Sunny?"

"I don't know."

"What do you need from me?"

"You need to tell Jeb. He needs to call us, so we can figure out what to do."

"You know this puts the souls in a dangerous position."

"It's dangerous for all of us."

"Okay, I'm on my way back to the caverns, but if you need me, I can be there in a heartbeat."

"Okay, thanks. I appreciate that."

"I'll talk to you soon. Be careful."

"Yeah, good-bye." I hung up the phone and addressed the others. "He was on a food run. He said he'll head straight back. He said he would come if we needed him."

"Ice is a good guy," Wanda replied.

"He is," Ian said in agreement.

Rob veered off to check the bunkhouse as we entered the gameroom. Everyone took a seat. I remained standing and took control of the room. "The first thing we need to do is figure out what Burns is going to say because they _will _call him."

Burns spoke. "I can't very well tell them that you were all my prisoners. I mean we were playing baseball."

Kyle spoke up. "We've got a hostage. That should be good for something."

I paced back and forth with my arms folded across my chest. I was in leader mode. "Okay." I spoke out loud even though I was really just verbalizing my thoughts as I turned them over in my head. "Souls are afraid that we are violent, so—the first thing we need to do is let them know that we are peaceful. We need to try and set up a meeting instead of a battle." I felt like I was on the right track. "If we could just convince them that both races can live together in harmony, we might have a chance."

Ian spoke up. "Well, Wanderer and I are married and pregnant. That should prove to them the possibilities."

"Sunny and I are a couple as well," Kyle added.

Burns objected. "I don't know if I want to drag Lily into this."

Sunny interjected. "Why don't we let Lily make that decision?"

Wanda agreed. "Yes, everyone should have free will to make their own choices."

"Okay," I conceded. "We'll ask Ice and Heidi as well. He said he would come if we needed him. Maybe Heidi will come, too." I turned to address Burns. "When they call, try to explain the best way that you can. Let them know that we are a peace loving community on the mountain made up of both humans and souls. Ask if we can set up a meeting on the ballfield between them and us. Try to give us a few days, so we can get Ice and Heidi up here."

"Should we tell them who my father is?" Wanda asked.

"Hmmm, Ian, what do you think?"

Burns spoke before Ian could. "They are less likely to come at us if they know we have a child of a person of position with us."

"Okay, it's settled then. Let them know that among us, we have the daughter of Ember Hollister. Make it _very_ clear to them that she is here of her own volition."

Kyle spoke. "Maybe, we should try to get Doc and Candy up here as well, just in case."

"I'll ask," I replied.

"In the meantime, I think we need to get as much non-perishable food into the cave as possible," Ian suggested.

"I agree."

As that moment, Tom walked in and scared the hell out of us. We had forgotten that he went to get the guns for Victoria and Blake.

"Sorry," he said as he entered the room.

I filled him in on the progress of the meeting.

"We are going to need armed guards in several positions. And they'll need phones," Tom remarked.

I agreed. "Good point."

Wanda stood up. "We have three, no four cell phones here. Burns needs his in case they call. You can use mine." She pulled her cell phone from her pocket and placed it on the table.

"And here's mine." Sunny placed her phone on the table as well.

"Okay, starting immediately, we will have two on lookout about a half mile down the road." I turned to Rob. "Do you remember where we used to sit before Burns became a part of us? We used to watch for his return when he was away."

"Yes, I remember."

"Okay, Rob and Kyle take a phone and a couple of guns and set up at the lookout. When it gets dark, Ian and I will relieve you. In the morning, Burns, you and Tom relieve us."

"Hold on," Ian objected. "I'm sorry; I'd rather go now with Rob if you don't mind. My reasons are selfish. I want to sleep with my wife tonight, and when I'm not with her, I want Nate by her side. He loves her as I do, and I know he would protect her with his life."

Ian and I looked at each other. I was touched that he held me in such high regard when it came to Wanda. His eyes held sincerity and trust. I nodded to him.

Wanda suddenly rose from her seat and rushed out of the room. Ian took off after her. A few minutes later, they reentered the gameroom, and Ian escorted her to me. "Take care of her."

"Like she was my own," I assured him.

Ian picked up the 'glock' that he had brought from the caverns on his first trip to see us. Rob chose the shotgun.

"Grab something to drink out of the kitchen before you go—and anything else you need," I suggested.

"I'll make sandwiches," Wanda blurted out as if the sandwich would make all the difference.

"It's okay. We'll be fine," Ian assured her.

"No, I have to do something. Please let me do this."

I nodded at Ian.

"Okay, but hurry," Ian replied.

Wanda rushed from the room before anyone could stop her.

"Let her go," Sunny exclaimed. "She'll be all right. She needs a little time alone. Trust me."

Burns and I escorted Rob and Ian back to the house. The others headed to the cave. Ian went directly to the kitchen while I helped Rob pack a backpack with a few necessary items: flashlight, blankets, hunting knife, bug repellent, and garden gloves. I knew they would have to clear away the underbrush that surely would have grown over the last six years. Ian appeared just as we finished. A look of concern was imbedded on his brow.

"Are we ready?" Ian asked solemnly.

"Yes. Rob knows the way. You will be relatively close to the road, so be careful."

"Take care of my wife."

"I will."

Ian stuffed the bag lunch into the backpack before slipping it over his shoulders. Without another word, they hurried out the back door.

Burns was off checking on Victoria and Blake. I knew I had to focus on Wanda. It had to be difficult for her to think that her species could easily destroy the one true happiness she had found after thousands of years. I entered the kitchen. Just as I had suspected she was sitting at the table sobbing. I immediately walked to her and pulled her to her feet. I pulled her into my arms. She sobbed even harder.

"Come on now, all these tears can't be good for the baby," I whispered.

"What's the point if everyone I know and care about are gone? They'll probably extract me and send me to another planet. My body and my baby will be the hosts for someone who doesn't care about the things I love."

"Don't think like that. There's always hope."

"I don't think there's any hope in this case."

I pulled her from my chest, so I could look in her eyes. "Listen to me. I am going to do everything in my power to ensure that you and Ian and everyone on this mountain continue to be a family. Do you understand me?"

"But…"

"No 'buts.' Now I don't want to hear another word about it. We have a lot to do."

"Okay."

The first thing I had to do was go to the cave and attempt to reassure the rest of the clan that we had devised a plan which we hoped would convince the souls that our little community should remain as is. After a quick check on the root cellar, I retrieved Burns, and we headed for the cave. I found Kyle and Sunny sitting at the front entrance. Kyle claimed he was on guard duty, but I knew by Sunny's face that she wasn't welcome in the cave.

Most of the clan was already gathered in the main hall of the cave. I sent Megan and Sarah to fetch the others. Lily immediately ran to Burns. He pulled her into his arms. I couldn't help but look over at Gina. Our eyes met. I tried to hide the pain I was feeling. The pain that Wanda was right, and life on earth as we knew it would come to a sad end. The pain that reality had come crashing down on us like a rogue wave. The pain that I would never get the chance to see Gina again.

After a few minutes, the rest of the clan joined the assembly. All eyes were on me. I had Burns, Wanda, and Sunny by my side as I began my speech.

"It is with a heavy heart that I have to call you all here today. Our little piece of Utopia has been spotted by those who would destroy us."

There was much murmuring from the crowd.

"Fortunately, in the last year, we have proven without a shadow of a doubt that the souls can live in peace and harmony with us." I draped my arm around Sunny's shoulder. "With the help of our friends and family, we will try to convince the others that we should not be wiped out but given the chance to live out our lives in our own bodies. After all, they know that we will not relinquish our bodies willingly to be host to a soul. Therefore, our bodies are useless to them. If we can show a unified front as a happy community with both humans and souls, we just might be given the opportunity to live on."

Max stood up. "History always repeats itself. They will take us as quickly as they did when they invaded. I say we run. We did it before, we can do it again."

Uncle George stood up. "Here! Here!"

The whole room started buzzing.

Kyle yelled out, "Simmer down! Let the man talk!"

The crowd returned their attention to me.

"I can't make any of you stay. If you want to go, I suggest you leave immediately. We will not disclose anything about you. If you choose to stay, you will remain here in the cave until further notice. Right now, we are waiting for them to call Burns. After all, this is his property, and he is a seeker in their eyes. He is going to ask for a meeting between them and us on the ballfield. That is where we will plead our case. We have several inter-species couples that are willing to go before them as proof of our peaceful nature and ability to not only live with each other, but also to love each other."

Kyle spoke again. "Sunny and I will join Wanda and Ian as well as Burns to prove our point."

Lily stepped forward. "I will, too."

"Lily, you don't have to," Burns replied in earnest.

"I want to, Burns. I…I love you."

Wanda once again could not reel in her emotions, and she started to cry. Kyle was closest to her, and he engulfed her in his arms.

"What about Melanie and the people in the caverns?" Jamie asked.

"Jamie, do you want to go back to the caverns?"

"I do, but how would I get there, and what if they're already watching us, and they follow me?"

"Then you would be putting all of them at risk as well."

"I'll stay," he replied.

"I'm sorry, Jamie," Wanda blubbered.

"It's okay, Wanda. It's not your fault."

"I've spoken to Ice. He said he going to pass the news onto Jeb. I expect to hear from him soon. Ice said he would return to the mountain if we needed him."

"But that would leave them without a soul, and they would have to go back to raiding," Lily pointed out.

"I guess that is something they will have to discuss at the caverns. At any rate, we will need to begin moving as much food and supplies to the cave as possible. I think it would be better to keep the majority of you here."

"What about if we have to go to the bathroom?" Aunt Sue asked.

"I don't want humans up at the house just in case I am wrong about the souls calling Burns before making a move on us."

Burns raised his hand to speak.

"Yes, Burns?"

"Until that time, maybe we should let everyone use the bathroom in the bunkhouse. It's closer than the house, and if we leave a phone here at the cave for usage during the trek to the bathroom, we can at least warn anyone and give them the chance to run and hide if they can't get back to the cave."

"Good idea," Kim replied.

"Okay, that's settled. Ian and Rob are at the old lookout. Kyle and I are going to relieve them tonight at midnight. Victoria and Blake are guarding the prisoner. I need a volunteer to relieve them tonight. Any volunteers?"

Evan stepped forward. "I'll do it."

Carlos stepped forward. "I'll do it, too if it's okay with my dad."

Hector nodded his head. "He's a man now. He can make his own decisions."

Carlos was only seventeen, but he had grown several inches in the last six months, and he was now taller than Blake. His Latin heritage gave him a mature look as well.

I nodded. "I'd rather use you in the morning. Let Carl take the overnight shift. Can you be ready at six A.M.?"

"Yes, sir!" he said with enthusiasm.

I redirected to Burns. "Burns, I need you to go to the root cellar and escort the prisoner to the bathroom. He'll feel more comfortable with you than with a human."

"I'm on it," he replied.

I turned to Wanda and Sunny. "Ladies, would you like to assist me in packing up the food in the kitchen?"

"Yes, anything to keep busy," Wanda declared.

Kyle, Wanda, Sunny, and I spent the afternoon packing up boxes of food and transporting them to the cave. At four o'clock, I decided it would be wise for Kyle and I to try to sleep. The four of us went to the bunkhouse together and lay in the two

beds.

I sidled up to Wanda and wrapped my arms around her. I couldn't help but chuckle. She gave me a quizzical look.

"I finally get to sleep with you." I took a deep breath. Her hair smelled like melon. "You smell so good, I could eat you."

"Nate, Ian put his trust in you."

"Thanks for the reminder," I said sullenly. "I guess I'll have to settle for snuggling."

She buried her face in my chest and was sound asleep in minutes. Unfortunately, sleep did not come so easily for me. It took me the better part of an hour before I finally nodded off. It had been so long since I had Wanda this close, I didn't want to miss a moment of this euphoria I was feeling.

On the other hand, I was worried—worried about the fate of my family on the mountain. I knew if it came down to it, I would sacrifice myself if it meant their freedom. If I had to, I would bargain my life for theirs. Wanda let out a little moan. I brushed the hair off of her face and kissed her forehead. I felt love for her. It was true; I couldn't deny it. Oddly enough, the question that popped into my mind was who did I want more? Wanda or Gina? It was a silly question, considering our possible fate, but it was there, just the same. Both ladies were taken, and both had taken my heart. After hemming and hawing over the pros and cons for each, I finally drifted off to sleep.

I woke up just before eleven. To my surprise, I was still wrapped around Wanda. To my horror, I was sporting wood, and my hard-on was in the exact spot a hard-on should be in. I rolled away quickly. I decided to visit the bathroom.

I called Burns on my way back to the room to let him know I was up. I asked if Kyle and Sunny were up at the house. He said they were there, but they were still asleep. They must have decided that a private room was more to their liking.

A short time later, Burns arrived. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to get my thoughts in order.

"Hey, how'd you sleep?" Burns asked.

"Better than I thought I would have once my brain shut down."

"Well, it's been quiet."

"The quiet before the storm. It won't be long now before they call."

"What if they don't call?" Burns replied.

"They'll call. I would call. They are probably waiting for the signal from a higher up."

At that moment, Wanda rolled toward me and sat up in the bed. "Did you sleep?" she asked.

I placed my hand gently on her thigh. "Yes. I woke up about fifteen minutes ago. It was very comforting sleeping with you. Thank you."

She looked over at the empty bed. "Did Kyle sleep?"

"They went into the house to the bedroom. I guess they felt more comfortable there. I peeked in, and they were still sleeping. I figured I'd let Kyle sleep for a while longer. Ian and Rob will be okay," Burns replied. He flashed a smile. "Ian called a little while ago. I told him you were asleep with Nate."

"Oh no. You didn't."

"He was happy that you were asleep. He's concerned about you and the baby."

"We should eat," I announced.

"I'm not hungry," Wanda said sullenly.

"Mrs. O'Shea, your husband trusted me to take care of you. If he finds out you are not eating, who do you think he's going to blame?"

"Okay, I hear you."

The three of us headed into the house to scrounge up something for dinner.

"Where is Lily?" Wanda asked as she prepared a care package for Kyle and me to take with us.

"She's in the cave with Jamie and Megan. I told her I would come for her when I was ready to sleep."

"And what about Victoria and Blake?"

"Evan and Carl will be locked in with the prisoner tonight."

Wanda shot me a look of disdain. "His name is Eli," she reminded me.

"Right." I shook my head in agreement. "Well, we fed him already, and he's been to the bathroom. Does that meet with your approval, Mrs. O'Shea?" I said rather snidely.

She smiled at me. "Yes, thank you." Her voice was syrupy sweet.

Burns's phone rang. We all froze while Burns checked the number. "It's Ian." I blew out a deep breath of relief.

He answered it. "Hello?...Okay…Good…Yes, Nate and Kyle will be leaving later. Kyle is still sleeping…Got it…Bye." His face turned grave. "There's a police car coming up the road. Turn out the lights."

I walked briskly and turned out the light in the living room. Burns hit the light in the kitchen. I took Wanda's hand in mine as we watched and waited in the kitchen. The car pulled slowly up the road and turned a spotlight on the house as it passed. They didn't stop, but continued up the hill to where we had discovered Eli and his cohort. Wanda leaned in to me and clung to my arm. I leaned back against the sink and pulled my fingers through Wanda's hair as we waited for them to return. The car passed us again with its light on the house. I pulled Wanda down to a squatting position, so we would not be spotted. The car stopped. I held my breath. I wasn't prepared for a showdown. A moment later, the light swept across the room, and then they were gone.

Burns was standing and peeking out the window. "They're gone."

I pulled out my phone as we stood up and called Ian.

Ian answered quickly. "Yeah?"

"They should be passing you any moment now."

"Yeah, I see them."

"Okay, bye." I hung up and wiped the sweat from my brow. "They passed. We can eat now."

Wanda went straight to work preparing leftover spaghetti. We ate quickly. Wanda made plates for Kyle and Sunny while I did the dishes. Burns took off toward the cave to retrieve Carl, Evan and Lily. Wanda joined me in the living room on the couch as I turned on the TV to the news. I wasn't sure if the discovery of the humans on the mountain had made it on the news. After about fifteen minutes, the sports and weather came on.

I turned to Wanda. "You know we are going to be all right. I have to believe that."

Wanda looked worried. "I wish I could be as positive as you."

"Worst case scenario. They catch us and implant us. I'm not giving up my brain that easily. Whoever gets me will be stuck with my obsession with you. I mean it's pleasant, don't get me wring, but eventually, he's going to have to find you, or he'll go insane."

"That's a sweet thought, but I'm afraid they won't bother implanting any of you. My fear is they will destroy you and call it a loss. As for me, they will rip me out of this body and send me somewhere far away, and by the time…" Her voice began to hitch. "I get there…you will all have been dead for hundreds of years, and I will have to live with that horrible memory. I couldn't. I'll shred this brain and pray that I die before they can save me."

I took her hand in mine and looked into her eyes which were pooling with tears. "It won't be like that," I assured her. "We are an anomaly. We are too important a discovery to destroy. We're like a science experiment. That is the direction I will try to impose on them."

"Would you want to live like a science experiment?"

"As a human, here, on the mountain? Sure. It's better than destruction."

She placed her hand on my face. "Nate, I hope you're right. I love you."

"I love you, too. I've loved you almost since the moment I met you," I murmured as I pulled her hand from my cheek and kissed her palm. I couldn't stop my feelings for Wanda from surfacing. I knew Ian wasn't coming back until I relieved him. _Just a kiss, _I thought to myself.

Kyle came out of the bedroom. "What time is it?"

_Fuck! _He had broken our magic moment.

Wanda immediately redirected. "It's eleven thirty. Is Sunny awake?"

"Yes. She's the one who woke me."

"We saved diner for you." Wanda slipped off of the couch and bolted to the kitchen.

After Kyle and Sunny ate, Kyle and I got our gear together for the night.

"Wait for Ian and Rob in the gameroom," I instructed the girls.

Kyle kissed Sunny good-bye. I hugged Wanda and kissed her on the forehead.

"Love you," I said quietly as I pulled away.

I led the way into the woods with a flashlight. We walked in silence for a bit before Kyle finally spoke.

"You're awfully quiet."

"I have a lot on my mind."

"It wouldn't have anything to do with Wanda, would it?"

"It has to do with Wanda and everyone else on this mountain that I love and care about."

He didn't offer anything more. When we reached the clearing, Ian and Rob were ready to go. I kept them another twenty minutes while we talked about the police car and the plan I had formulated in their absence. Ian wasn't hyped about proposing the idea of using us as a science experiment, but when I pointed out that he could lose not only Wanda and his family but also his very being, he agreed that anything was better than extinction.

After Ian and Rob left, Kyle and I settled in for a long night.

12


	76. Chapter 76

**Hey guys. Hope everyone had a happy 4****th**** of July. Although I have received the proof of my 3rd book of the For the Love of Brynn series, I promised myself that I wouldn't let this weekend go by without posting a chapter of Nate's Diary. So, I put some work into it this week, and I am proud of how it turned out. I hope you all like it. As for me, it's another week of editing…**

ON THE EDGE

07/26/03 – Dear Diary, I say "dear" because this could be my last entry, considering the souls have found our mountain paradise. It was so stupid how they found us. If we hadn't been playing baseball, we never would have been spotted. When I think about it, had we merely had a lookout at the house, we could have prevented the whole matter. The truth is we have been living high on the hog for quite some time now. We put up three buildings and with the addition of Wanda, Sunny, and Ice, we haven't really thought of the souls as much of a threat anymore. After all, how can someone you've fallen in love with possibly be a part of a sinister species? I hold onto the hope that they will find pity on us and allow us this small plot of land in which to live out our lives.

We have taken a prisoner. His name is Eli. I really haven't had the chance to communicate with him. I've been too angry. I figure it might be better for Burns and Wanda to handle him until I know more about whether we'll have the chance to, at least, please our case.

In the meantime, we watch and wait. I only hope this is not good-bye.

I closed my journal and stuffed it into the backpack. Kyle was asleep.

I stood up to take a little walk around the area more for my own piece of mind than anything else. My phone began to ring. I picked it up quickly.

"Hello?"

"I hear you've gotten yourself into quite a situation." It was Jeb.

"It wouldn't be so bad if it was only me, but unfortunately, it is everyone I love that is at risk."

"So, what are you going to do? Run?"

"I can't ask twenty people to up and run. They'd hunt us down in a matter of a week. Besides, I have to think about the souls who are with us as well."

"So what are you going to do?"

"The plan right now is to wait until they contact Burns. They know him as a seeker, and they will obviously have questions for him. He will explain that he has allowed us to live on his land, and that he is not the only soul who is a part of our group. He has been instructed to tell them that Wanda is the daughter of Ember Hollister, a man of position in their society, and she is here of her own choice."

"So they will come in, take their own, and destroy the rest of you."

I drew in a deep sigh. "They could very well do that, but Burns is going to ask for a meeting, so that we may present our case, including the fact that we have several interspecies couples among us."

"I see. Ice is chomping at the bit to be a part of your case. He says if it wasn't for you and Ian, he never would have been captured and been given the life he says is happier than he's ever had."

"I know he is your only soul, and I wouldn't want to take him from you."

"I can't hold him here. He wants to bring Heidi with him. She's not sure she wants to leave the safety of the caverns."

"Tell Ice this is a dangerous situation, and he should take that into consideration. As a matter of fact, I was hoping to get Doc and Candy here, just in case we should need a medical team."

"I'll let them know, and they can make up their own minds."

"I can't ask for anything more."

"I personally don't hold a lot of hope for you, but part of my clan is up there. I will do everything in my power to help you present your case. Those of us left behind will be praying for you every day."

"Thank you, Jeb. We will take every measure that we can to protect all of you out there. I will personally coach Jamie."

"Jamie—Melanie wants to go to him."

"Jamie told me that he wants her to stay where she is safe."

"Jared and I are in agreement, but you know how Melanie is. She gets something into her head, and she can be unstoppable."

"She has Jared and the baby to think about. Jamie is practically a man. Besides, I have Ian's parents watching over him."

"I'll let her know."

"Well, tell Ice if he decides to come, he will need to leave soon."

"He was planning on leaving in the morning at the latest."

"Okay, thank you, Jeb, for everything."

"Keep my people safe, Nate."

"I'll do everything I can."

It was with a heavy heart that I disconnected. Jeb's clan had been a well kept secret for six solid years until we stumbled upon them. Now there was the possibility that both clans could be at risk if the souls implanted my people on the mountain. Just one moment of weakness could produce the memory that could uncover the secret of the clan safely tucked away in the grueling heat of the desert. I spent the rest of the night staring up at the stars, praying for a miracle.

"At four a.m., I started to nod off. I decided to wake Kyle, so I could nap.

"Have you heard anything?" he asked.

"Nope, I'll call them in the morning."

A few hours later, the sun rose overhead, and I woke to the heat of the morning. Kyle was whittling a piece of wood into what appeared to be a heart.

"Watcha got there?" I asked.

"What does it look like?" he asked as he continued to chip away at it.

"It looks like a heart."

"Good. That's what it's supposed to be."

"Why, Kyle, I didn't know you had a romantic side," I teased.

"My plan is to cut it in two and give half of it to Sunny. If I get implanted, she'll still have a piece of my heart."

I started to choke up, but I sucked it up. "It won't come to that," I said adamantly.

Kyle changed the subject. "What time is it?"

I picked up the phone off of the flat rock that served as a makeshift table. "It's seven."

"I think you should call."

I didn't argue. I punched in Burns's number.

He answered the phone quickly. He didn't offer a hello.

"Yeah, they just called."

My heart started to palpitate. "And?"

"They are turning it over to the military. I'm waiting on a call."

"Keep me posted."

"Sure. I'll call you as soon as I hear."

"Thanks."

"Bye."

I disconnected and looked directly at Kyle. "They called."

He looked up from his wooden treasure. "So, what's going on?"

"Not much. Burns said they are turning the matter over to the military. He's waiting for them to call."

"Maybe we should get back."

"Our relief hasn't arrived yet."

"Did you assign someone to relieve us?"

"Yeah. Burns and my brother-in-law."

"Aren't they coming?"

"I didn't think to ask. I got flustered when Burns told me they called." I dialed Burns again.

"Hello?"

"Do you think you could come and relieve us in a bit?"

"Sure. I'll be there within the hour."

"Bring Tom with you."

"Wasn't that the plan?"

"Yeah, I just wasn't sure you remembered."

"I remember."

I turned to Kyle as I hung up the phone. "He'll be here soon. I'm going to take a piss."

An hour later, Burns and Tom showed up as promised. As soon as he entered the clearing, he announced that the military had called him. Of course, Kyle and I were very interested in what was said between them.

"I spoke to a man named Colonel Jeffries. The first thing he asked me was if Eli was still alive. I told him yes. Then he asked me about the humans on my property. I tried to explain to them that although I caught humans, I took the opportunity to rehabilitate them and allow them to live upon my land. I let him know that there are other souls who live here as well, and they feel the same as I do. He wanted to know if they guard the humans and keep them from running away. I told him that we have no guards and that each of the souls living here has mated with a human. He thought I was pulling his leg. I told him it wasn't a joke. I told him we live here in peace and harmony. He said he wanted to meet these souls. I told him a meeting is what we were hoping for. I also told him that one of our souls was out of town and wouldn't be returning for two days. He said he would be willing to hold off the meeting until everyone is present."

"That could be a good thing or a bad thing if he is just making sure we are all together, so he can round us up quickly and quietly."

"Well, I told him our guy would be driving a white van and would not stop for any blockade they may set up. He told me that they have a squad car at the bottom of the hill. I told him we've seen the squad car. He said they are very nervous, and we should be careful because they are armed. I told him we are armed as well, and we could have easily picked off the officers if we wanted to. I told him we are peaceful and would prefer a meeting to violence. Before I hung up with him, I told him about Wanda."

"What did he say to that?"

"He seemed very surprised. He said there will be armed forces coming up the mountain to set up camp, but he won't be arriving until the day after. He asked me to keep the humans under wraps. He said it would be a tragedy if unforeseen circumstances should prevent the meeting from taking place."

"I agree. We need to make sure everyone is on the same page."

Kyle and I grabbed our gear and began to walk in the direction of the house. Burns yelled out, "Oh, by the way, Carlos was standing outside the cellar this morning when we went to retrieve our guest."

"He's eager," I replied.

"Yes, he is. He wants to please you."

"Did you give him a gun?"

"I didn't have to. Ian's got our guest tethered to himself, and they brought him up to the house."

I nodded my head. "Good, good."

As we walked back to the house, I resolved myself to remain upbeat. I thought if I presented a positive attitude, I might be able to keep the morale up among the clan.

I walked in the back door, and it was quiet in the living room. Kyle headed directly to the bathroom. The silence gave me an eerie feeling, considering there was usually a crowd gathered around the TV, whether it was the teens watching cartoons before school or the elders watching old black and white movies which had become a morning tradition.

Suddenly, I heard a bang in the kitchen followed by Ian bellowing his obvious displeasure over something. I quickly entered the kitchen and forced a smile upon my face.

"Good morning, all!" I said in a cheerful voice.

"Nate, would you watch Eli, please?" Wanda said in lieu of a hello.

She untied the rope around Ian's wrist and led him from the room. Sunny got up and followed the couple, leaving me and Carlos alone with the prisoner.

"Carlos, would you retrieve the handgun from my backpack in the living room?" I ordered. "And be careful; it's loaded."

"Sure thing," Carlos replied as he jumped from his seat and left the room.

I grinned at Eli. "Just a precaution; you understand."

"Actually, I don't," he replied.

I leaned close to his face. "I guess I don't understand why one race would come in and wipe out another race. Care to explain that to me?"

"Survival," he said flatly.

"Your race is _surviving_ on ten different planets. Why come here and suck the life out of us? I mean you didn't have to take us all!" My voice became sharp.

"And how many do you propose we should take?" he countered.

I stood back up. "I don't know. Maybe you could have taken the sick, the dying, and the incarcerated."

"Isn't that a little like playing God?" he shot back.

"At least, those that deserve to live would be able to carry on our race."

At that moment, Ian returned to the kitchen with Wanda in tow. He was all business. "Breakfast is over. I'm taking him back to the root cellar," he said firmly.

"Good idea," I replied. In truth, I wasn't in the mood for his quick comebacks. If anything, I was starting to despise the souls.

It was Wanda who brought me back from my foul mood. She approached me and gave me a big hug.

"I'm glad you returned to us safely. I hope you'll be able to watch over me again."

"Of course, Beautiful."

That day, the squad car passed the house about every hour. I called another meeting at the cave. We needed to discuss the impending meeting including placing a few people in strategic locations for security purposes. I reiterated that we were not looking for a fight and that killing anyone would only be a last resort.

Victoria insisted on having the rifle with the scope. She led Carl, Blake, and Evan to the grounds above the cave which overlooked the baseball field. They each chose a good vantage point to nest in during the meeting.

It was decided that the elderly and the children would stay inside the cave in case the souls rushed us. It would be easier for them to use the existing escape route rather than attempting to get past the souls. Those who were designated to speak on behalf of the clan would stay in plain sight of the opposing group as a measure of good faith.

Once the meeting was over, Ian and Evan went off to relieve Burns and Tom. Wanda was once again at my side. We decided to have Sunny and Burns join us at the house, where we cooked a hot meal for the masses. We chose to make lasagna and a salad. Unfortunately, we had no garlic bread on hand, but everyone was appreciative, just the same.

As we sat eating, I noticed Gina sitting alone in the corner, picking at her food. She looked so sad and lonely; I couldn't ignore her.

I leaned toward Wanda. "I'll be right back."

I rose and crossed the floor to where Gina was perched on a picnic bench. I slid in next to her. We hadn't spoken very much since our last big blowup.

"Hey," I said in a mild voice.

"Hey," she replied.

"So—are you still mad at me?"

"No."

I nodded. "Good. I wouldn't want to die with you hating me," I joked.

At that moment, Gina burst into tears. "Nate, I'm scared."

I did a mental head slap. What the hell was I thinking? I was thinking that I wouldn't want to die with her hating me. _God, sometimes, you are so stupid._

I pulled her into my arms and held her. "Angel, I am not going to let you die."

"There's a lot of them and only a handful of us," she pointed out.

I stroked her hair. "Sweetheart, we can't beat them by force, but perhaps, we can appeal to their sense of compassion."

"They only have compassion for themselves."

"Now, that's not true. Look at Burns and Wanda—and Sunny—and Ice."

"That's four out of a million. Not very good odds."

Her statement was hard to dispute, but I did my best to assure her.

"Except for Burns, each of them was living happily among the souls, and we snatched them. They could have easily played our game and then run when given the chance."

"But they would have if they had been given that chance right away. It took time for them to trust us and care about us."

"True, but now they are willing to fight and die for us."

She didn't respond but looked sadly into my eyes. My heart was breaking for her—for all of us.

"Gina, I want you to know that I love you, and I will do everything that I can to ensure that you and Evan can live your lives as humans. I want us all to remain on this mountain. Try to have a little faith, okay?"

She didn't answer.

"Please?"

She nodded. "Okay."

"If you need me for anything, I'm here for you—always."

"Except when you are with Wanda."

I took a deep breath. "I promised Ian I would watch over her in his absence. I will do the same for you if that is what you want."

"Right, you are going to go about your business with Wanda on your left and me on your right? No thanks."

"As much as I want to argue with you right now, I don't have the time. I'm here. You know where to find me." I kissed her on the forehead. "I love you."

I pulled away and returned to Wanda's side.

"What was that all about?" Wanda asked.

"She's afraid. I tried to reassure her that everything will be okay."

"Do you want me to talk to her?"

"No. We have dishes to do." That ended our conversation about Gina, but Gina remained in my head for the rest of the night as I sat in the woods keeping watch.

At about 7:00 a.m., the first military vehicle passed us on the road. I immediately called Burns to warn him. I wanted to get back to the clan. I requested a replacement be sent as soon as possible. A half hour later, Ian appeared with Victoria. He said the jeep passed the house and continued to where the road ended. He said there were four soldiers, and they scoped out the area.

Kyle and I left the lookout and headed back to base. My first stop was the root cellar where Eli was being kept. We moved him to the bunkhouse and locked him in one of the rooms. We left Blake to watch over him. Burns and I went to the cave to check on the others. There was a lot of emotion among the clan members. It was difficult to keep them calm, and Wanda and Sunny's presence wasn't helping to relieve their fears. I decided it would be best to keep the souls with me, and we hightailed it back to the game room. Ian called about mid morning to tell me that he counted ten vehicles filled with military personnel. He said they had a ton of fire power. He said if it came down to a fight, we would have no chance in hell of surviving.

I left the girls in the gameroom while Burns and I scoped out the situation. They were setting up on the property adjacent to Burns's land. We could see that they were heavily armed and had guards placed strategically along the perimeter while the camp was being built. There was a lot of hammering going on as they set up the tents. We backed off quickly before we were spotted.

When we returned to the girls, Wanda reminded Burns to call the Colonel and inform him of the vehicle switch by Ice. Burns called and told him that Ice's van broke down, so he acquired a sedan. It was unspoken that the sedan was most likely stolen. The colonel did not question Burns. Instead, he confirmed that he would be arriving first thing in the morning, and the meeting would commence at precisely noon.

Ice pulled into the driveway in the late afternoon. He brought Heidi, Doc, and Candy with him. He said that the patrol at the bottom of the hill tried to stop him, but he continued to move slowly through the checkpoint, and they allowed him to pass.

Ice expressed Melanie's concern for Jamie. She said that although she would have come in an instant, the decision was not hers to make. Jeb, Jared, and even Nate agreed that she needed to stay with her baby.

In the evening, I called my final meeting in the cave. Eli attended this meeting as well. It seemed that during the short time that Eli spent with us, he actually understood our plight and expressed some compassion. For me, this was a huge step in the right direction. I knew if we could convince this stranger to speak for us, it would be tremendous. I asked Wanda and Sunny to remain with him and make him as comfortable as possible, and the bunkhouse was much more comfortable than the root cellar.

Everyone was on edge. I was cautiously optimistic. I spent the night diffusing the negative comments and offering hope even though I had to admit there wasn't much hope at all. The point is hope is all I had. I had spent the hours of my guard duty in the last two nights going over all the scenarios I could come up with in an effort to be prepared for anything. I had processed my argument over and over in my head, and I felt I was ready. Now, I needed to sleep. I lay in my bed praying my brain would shut down. It seemed like I had only just fallen asleep when my alarm jolted me awake. I felt rather zombie-like as I crawled from my bed. I said a prayer asking for the lord to look over my flock and keep us safe. By eleven thirty, everyone was set in place.

I could see that my people were getting ancy, so I decided not to wait. I marched out toward the center of the field. I held my head high and tried to show no fear. I guess my confidence was intimidating to the souls because the next thing I knew, a shot rang out, and my body crumpled in pain.

The pain was in my gut. Seconds later, I heard another shot. I wanted to feel concern for who the second shot was meant for, but the pain was excruciating. I felt sweat on my brow. My hands were covered with my own blood as I lay in the fetal position, trying to somehow stop the pain.

Then, I heard a third shot, and my pain was replaced by fear—fear that the souls were taking us out, one by one.

I actually felt relief when I heard the voice over the bullhorn calling out orders. "_Hold your fire. This is Colonel Jeffries. I order you to hold your fire!_"

It was silent for a few seconds, and then I heard Ian's voice. "YOU BASTARDS!" he cried out. "She's a soul! How can you shoot your own kind?"

It was at that moment that I realized that it was Wanda who had been shot. My concern for my own welfare was replaced by my concern for hers. I tried to roll in the direction of the voice, and I saw Ian on the ground, cradling Wanda's broken body in his arms.

He screamed out in lament. "CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP HER?"

"_Hold your fire. We are sending in healers_," the voice on the bullhorn bellowed.

My heart was breaking for Ian's torment. I watched in horror as Ian rocked on his knees while holding Wanda's limp body. Suddenly, two souls approached me and blocked my view. They knelt down in front of me.

"We are here to help," one of them announced.

"No, take care of the girl," I muttered.

"She is being attended to," he assured me.

"I need to get to her," I pleaded.

"Let us heal you first."

"Hurry!"

"Okay, relax. I need you to help me get your shirt off, so can get to the wound."

"I hope you are going to dig that bullet out," I replied, remembering the damage the bullet in Ian's abdomen had caused.

"I don't recommend it, but I can if you want me to."

"I want you to," I croaked, still in pain.

"I'm going to give you something to help you with the pain," he replied.

"No Pain. I'm familiar with it," I responded.

The healer looked at me with surprise.

I felt the need to explain, but right now I just wanted the No Pain. "Please, it hurts," I murmured.

"Right. Sorry." He pulled the slip of paper from the vial, and I eagerly opened my mouth in anticipation of the miracle drug.

As soon as the paper was placed on my tongue, I swallowed it and waited for the pain to subside. After a minute, the healer asked. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes," I replied. "Can you heal me, so I can go to my friend?"

No sooner had I finished my sentence when I heard Ian cry out. "ARRRGHHH! Colonel, we have our own healers. I know they can save her. Please let them come forward. Please! She's dying!"

At that moment I tried to get up. The healer held me down.

"Why is she dying? You said there were healers with her."

"Calm down. There _are _healers with her."

"Then why is Ian asking for our healers? Why is she dying? She's a soul!"

The other man with the healer was in uniform and he, too, now held me down.

The colonel's voice bellowed through the bullhorn, "_We are requesting Doc and Candy to come forward to tend to the injured. Please bring your bag with you_."

"I don't know what's going on, but if you would just lie still, I can heal you and then you can go to her. You _must_ be patient!"

"Okay! Okay!"

"Are all humans this impatient?"

"When someone they love is dying thirty feet away from them? Yes."

The healer opened his bag and pulled out a scalpel. "I need to cut in order to get to the bullet."

"Fine, just try not to let me bleed to death, okay?"

The healer ignored my snide remark. As he cut, he spoke. "I will be healing you from the inside out after I remove the bullet."

"I know the drill. Deep clean to prevent infection, heal, and then smooth."

Again the healer looked up at me.

"How does a human know so much about soul medicine?"

"I live with four souls and one healer who used to be a soul."

He stopped what he was doing. "What?"

"Don't worry. We didn't kill the soul. We sent her to another planet."

"You've seen a soul outside of its host?"

"Not personally, but I have been told of their beauty."

The healer took a deep breath. He slowly extracted the bullet and dropped it on the ground. He completed the steps just as I had listed them, and my body was healed.

"There you go. Good as new."

"Thank you. I don't know your name."

"Giver of Shade."

"Thank you, Giver of Shade. Can I go check on my friend now?"

"Absolutely. I'd take it slow for a bit. The No Pain will wear off, and you'll still feel some residual effects."

"Got it." I sprang to my feet and bolted in the direction of Wanda. As I approached the group that was gathered around her, I heard Ian as he spoke.

"Doc, tell me you brought all your supplies, including the scalpels," Ian asked in desperation.

I stepped forward. "Is she going to be okay?"

Ian looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "I don't know. They are doing everything they can. I know she will be happy that you are okay. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy, too. I just…" He lowered his head and began to cry.

"It's okay, I understand," I replied.

The healer spoke. "Okay, we need to roll her over very gently. Wanderer, the soul, is lying up against the vertebrae, so every movement against the bone is causing her pain."

The healer, Doc, and Ian all worked together to roll Wanda's body over.

"Her body is trembling," Ian cried.

Doc tried to reassure Ian the best he could. "The soul uses connections to the brain to control the body. Right now, those connections are weak. She's struggling to hold those connections."

I fell to my knees as I realized the implications of what Doc had just said. I had never seen Ian in so much anguish.

"Okay, Doc. She's all yours. You cut and I'll get her out," the healer instructed.

Doc used his scalpel and slowly made the incision in the back of her neck along the back bone.

"Oh my God! Look at all the blood," Ian cried hysterically.

"Stay calm, Ian," Doc said in a stoic voice. "The blood is red. That means we aren't cutting into Wanda."

The healer leaned in closer. "That's perfect. I should be able to retrieve her." Doc backed up and allowed the healer to reach into the open wound. A minute passed, and he still hadn't pulled her out.

"What's taking so long?" Ian asked.

"She's retracting her ascili."

"Ascili?" I replied.

"Those are the tentacle like strands that she uses to attach to the major points in the body. I only hope that wherever she was hit didn't sever any of the ascili. That would be bad."

I wanted to ask why, but I didn't; I held my breath instead.

"Come on, now. That's a good soul," the healer said. He slowly pulled his hand from the open wound.

I was amazed at what I saw. She was no bigger that my own hand. Her body shimmered in luminescence. Her ascili numbered in the hundreds almost like spider legs.

"I'll hold her while you heal her," Ian offered.

"I don't know…" The healer replied. He was obviously unsure of allowing a human to touch her.

"She's my wife," Ian replied, desperation in his voice.

"He won't hurt her," Doc reassured the healer.

The healer held Wanda's limp out and silver blood dripped from his hands. "We have to hurry," he urged. "She's dying."

Ian quickly slid his hands underneath her and gently lifted her from the healer's hands. The healer in turn went to work using the drugs available to mend the damaged ascili.

"Is she going to be okay?" Ian asked.

"I think so. All of the ascili, although damaged, seem to be intact."

I finally found my voice. "There are so many. How can you tell?"

"I can't explain it to you. We are just able to assess these things much quicker than you," he replied. He continued to work on her. Wanda seemed to come to life. Her ascili began to move like waves on the ocean. "There. That should do it. We can put her back now."

Ian pulled his hands to his lips, and he kissed her. Her ascili seemed to caress his face. "I love you, Wanderer. You can't leave me."

"Can I hold her?" I asked.

"Do you want to?" Ian asked.

"Yes, if it's all right with you."

"Take her gently."

I slid my hands under her body. The ascili, which looked so soft were actually more rigid that I would have guessed.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Ian commented.

She was beautiful, and fragile in a butterfly kind of way. "I can't believe this is what she looks like. She has no eyes. How does she see?"

"She sees through the host. If she was on a planet where the host had no sight, she wouldn't see. The same goes with hearing or smell. Humans are one of the few species that has multiple senses."

"I'm curious. If you can't live without a host, then how do you—survive?"

"When you put your face up close to her, she can easily enter through your nasal cavity and take over your body. I'm surprised she didn't when Ian kissed her. I can only guess that she didn't want to inhabit his body."

"Because she loves me," Ian replied. "But I would gladly take her if she needed me to survive."

"You can't mean that," the healer replied.

"Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't do it for you. Wanderer has my heart, and I'd gladly give her my soul."

There was sincerity in his eyes.

"You see, Wanda? Ian needs you. I need you. Come back to us." I looked at the healer. "I think we should put her back now."

"Let me do it," Ian replied.

I handed her shimmering body back to him. Ian slid her into the opening that she had been removed from minutes earlier. The healer gave her a minute to see if she would start connecting. He pulled open her eye, and as soon as he saw the silver return, he healed the wound.

Ian carefully turned her limp body over and cradled her in his arms.

I held my breath as Ian spoke softly to his love, begging her to come back to him.

11


	77. Chapter 77

**I'm back?**

THE INTERROGATION

"WANDERER? BABYDOLL? COME BACK TO ME. Come on," Ian pleaded.

I was staring intently at her limp body, and then I saw it. Her fingers twitched. "She's moving."

Wanda opened her eyes. She spoke in a tiny voice. "I love you."

Ian broke down and cried. "I thought I'd lost you," he whispered.

"SHE'S OKAY!" I yelled to the crowd.

There was a loud commotion from the far side of the field where our people were standing.

Colonel Jeffries spoke. "I've never seen anything like that in my five lives."

"Where's Nate?" Wanda asked as she craned her neck to find me.

I knelt down next to Wanda and Ian. "I'm right here. I'm fine. You shouldn't have come after me."

"How could I _not_ come after you? Nate, I thought you were dead."

"You almost died. Do you know that?" Ian said as he wiped the tears from his face.

Wanda sat up and stared at Ian's shirt. It was covered with blood, both human and soul. "Is that my blood?" she asked.

"Yes, all of it is yours. They took you out of your body, and they healed you while I held you. Before, I put you back, I let Nate hold you. I hope you don't mind."

"That was very selfless of you." She stretched to her neck and kissed him tenderly. I glanced up at the group of soldiers that surrounded us. They looked uncomfortable, but the tender moment that Ian and Wanda shared fit perfectly into my plan to persuade the souls that we should be allowed to continue living in our little community.

I smiled at Wanda. "Ian was right. You _are_ beautiful."

She held her arms out and bade me to hug her. I reciprocated by leaning forward and engulfing her in my arms.

"You don't have to say I'm beautiful. I won't be mad," she said, referring to her true form.

"Well, I managed to kiss you, and Ian didn't even hit me," I joked. My brief moment of attention was interrupted by Ian.

"How are you feeling?" Ian asked. "Is the baby all right?"

"I think so. I don't hurt."

Doc took the opportunity to respond. "Since you were shot in your upper body, I don't think it affected the baby. Even when we took you out, the body was still functioning."

Wanda pulled Ian's face to her lips and kissed him again.

"Can you stand up?" Doc asked.

"I think so," she replied.

Ian and I helped Wanda to her feet. Then Ian pulled her to his chest and held her tight.

The Colonel spoke again. "I'm sorry about the shooter. He did _not_ act on my authority. One of your men shot him in the arm. That shot was over one hundred yards. That was a very good shot."

"I'm pretty sure that would be Victoria, woman, not man. Ian has first hand knowledge of how good a shot she is. She was under my orders _not_ to kill. She didn't," I said with confidence.

The Colonel turned his attention to me. "I'm sorry. I don't know who you are."

"My name is Nathan Downey. I am the leader of this community." I offered my hand to the colonel who took it.

"I'm Colonel Jeffries. I apologize to you as well for the mishap. I trust you have been sufficiently healed."

"Yes, Healer Davis is very efficient."

Now, the Colonel turned to Ian and Wanda. "I see you two are mates?"

Ian spoke for Wanda. "Yes, we are married."

"You are very young," he pointed out as he looked at Wanda.

She stood up tall as she spoke. "I am eighteen and of legal age."

"And with child I see."

"Yes."

"There are others like you here?"

"Yes, we have four souls who have taken up residence with the humans. We come and go as we please," Wanda replied.

"Everyone is an integral part of the community. We live in harmony and promote peace," I explained.

"I see," the Colonel replied. "Mr. Downey, would you mind if we set up a table, and then we can talk. I can meet the other souls and their mates?"

"I would welcome it. We are hoping you will look favorably upon us and allow our community to continue to live in peace on this mountain much the same way the Indians were given reservations to live on when this land was taken by the Europeans."

"Can I ask you, who is Burns Living Flowers?"

"He owns the land we live on, and he is my best friend. His father owned the land that your men were surveying, but he sold it to put his son through college."

"Can you bring him to the table? I would like to speak with him as well."

"Absolutely."

Doc spoke up. "Do you need us anymore? We would like to return to our people. I can ask Burns to come out here."

Colonel Jeffries looked at Doc. "You can go for now. I may want to speak with you later. By the way, before you go, tell me, are either one of you mated with a soul?"

"No," Doc replied for both he and Candy.

Doc and Candy turned slowly and walked back toward edge of the field. Candy's hair was long and covered the scar on the back of her neck, so the Colonel did not see that she had once been implanted.

Things happened quickly. With merely a signal of his hand, Colonel Jeffries' soldiers came out with a long table and six chairs. He sat on one side and motioned for me, Ian, and Wanda to sit on the other side. Another soldier came and sat beside the Colonel. He was carrying a laptop computer. There were half a dozen or so soldiers surrounding us. Two faced the table where we sat, and the others faced our side of the field. They were all heavily armed. Burns moved swiftly across the field. I had to admit I didn't feel at all comfortable by the extreme show of force. As Burns approached, I shot him a look of apprehension. He patted my shoulder as he took a seat next to me.

Colonel Jeffries addressed us as a group. "This is my secretary, Sergeant Woodfern. He will be recording this conversation. I hope you don't mind."

Ian answered. "And what if we did?"

I sucked in my breath. The last thing I wanted to do at this stage of the game was rock the boat.

Colonel Jeffries looked Ian in the eye. "Then this discussion would be over."

I leaned forward. "I think transcripts of this meeting are in order," I said in an effort to ease the tension.

"Thank you, Mr. Downey." The Colonel took a deep breath. "Let it be known that I am meeting with two souls and two humans. Burns Living Flowers, a soul and a Seeker whose land these humans inhabit. Next, we have Nathan Downey, a human and the leader of this 'community' as he refers to it. Finally, we have…I'm sorry. How should I refer to you?"

Ian answered. "Ian and Wanderer O'Shea."

"Ian and Wanderer O'Shea. They are a married couple. He is a human, and she is a soul, and she is with child." He paused. "Mrs. O'Shea, how far along are you?"

"Four months."

He nodded his head as if doing the calculations in his head.

He turned his attention to Burns. "You own this land, and you are a Seeker. Please explain in your own words how you came to be here."

"I've lived here my whole life," Burns said rather sarcastically.

The Colonel looked Burns in the eye. "Are you related to _him?_" He pointed to Ian. He was being sarcastic, too.

"Well, I call him brother-in-law."

Now the Colonel pointed to Wanda. "Is this your sister?"

I felt the need to interrupt. This conversation was going in circles. "Please, Sir, allow me to explain. Burns's family is no longer with us. He was away at college during the takeover. He was implanted there. He came back to visit his family and found them all dead. His mother and sister had been implanted. His human father shot them both and then took his own life."

"I'm sorry for your loss, but I don't understand your sympathy for the humans. Your father was the one who destroyed your family."

"I don't agree, but I don't wish to get into this with you," Burns muttered.

Wanda placed her hands on the table and spoke. "Please, this is difficult for him. We are not asking you to understand, only to listen."

"I'm sorry, Burns Living Flowers," the Colonel responded. "It is only my opinion." He turned back to Wanda. "Mrs. O'Shea, can you explain to me how he is your brother-in-law?"

"Technically, he's not, but since neither of us have blood relatives on the mountain, we sort of bonded. We were the first two souls to live here, and we shared the house. I consider him my brother, and he gave me away at my wedding."

"Okay." He turned back to Burns. "How long have you been allowing the humans to live on your land?"

"They were already here when I returned from college. I didn't come across them for months, and even then, it was by chance. Nate had fallen into an old well."

"Sergeant, are you getting all of this?"

"Yes, Sir. Would you like me to read it back?"

"That won't be necessary."

"It took a while, but eventually, we became friends, and the rest is history," I added.

The Colonel's attention remained on Burns. "You said each of the souls has a human mate. Where is your mate?"

"I'm not sure she will come. She fears the souls."

Colonel Jeffries laughed. "Has she not noticed that you are a soul?" He became serious again. "Try," he ordered.

Burns nodded and got up from his seat. He turned slowly and walked off the field. I prayed that Burns could convince Lily to return. The fact that she was from the caverns was a problem because we vowed to protect Jeb's clan. The smallest slip could sink us.

The Colonel turned his attention to Wanda. "I trust you can tell your story of how _you_ came to be here."

"Yes, Sir. It's complicated."

"I'll try to keep up."

It was inevitable that this question would be asked, and I had spent one of my nights at the lookout devising an acceptable answer that would not include the caverns. I briefed Wanda on my thoughts, and she thought it was a plausible idea, and so, we tweaked it until we were both satisfied with it.

She began slowly. "Let me begin by telling you that today was not the first time that Ian and Doc have seen me in my true form."

The Colonel was lost already. "I'm sorry, what?"

"This is not my first host body on this planet."

"Really." The Colonel was obviously intrigued by this turn of events.

"My first host was someone named Melanie Stryder. She lived on the mountain with her brother and her love. She saw her cousin on the news on TV. She was in Chicago—in the background. She decided she had to find her. She left on her own to go to Chicago, and she was caught. They implanted me into her body. You would think 'end of story,' but it's only the beginning. Melanie was strong, and she wouldn't let go. She slammed me with her memories of her brother and her true love, but she wouldn't allow me to see where they were. She protected their whereabouts and only allowed me to see what she wanted. She haunted me like this for months until I loved them, too."

"She brainwashed you," the Colonel surmised.

"Maybe she did," Wanda admitted. "Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. She gave me enough information to go and search for them. There was a Seeker, and she was keeping close tabs on me because of the fact that Melanie was a rogue, and the seeker felt that I might eventually lead her to others like Melanie. Melanie led me on a false trail through the desert before we turned north. For all I know, she's still out there looking for us."

"So, you came here."

"Yes, but the clan was not happy seeing that their precious Melanie had been implanted. They hated me. Her lover Jared was sickened by the sight of me, and yet, I loved him. I knew they would never believe that Melanie was still with me. They assumed I was a Seeker come to turn them all in. Ian and his brother Kyle were on a mission to destroy me, and they very nearly did."

Ian got up at that point, walked past the guards, and stopped with his back to us.

"Is he okay?" the Colonel asked.

"No. It's hard for him to remember those days. You see, I was kept under lock and key as a prisoner. I was not treated well by the humans. Burns was my protector. It wasn't until Ian nearly killed me that his guilt finally changed him. He started hanging around a lot, and Nate coerced me to tell the others of my life on other planets. He said it would be good for us all, and he was right. The more stories I told, the easier it was to talk to them. Ian was my biggest fan."

The Sergeant interrupted. "Excuse me; how many planets have you been to?"

Ian had made his way back and took the opportunity to answer for me. "She's been to nine planets. She's most famously known on the Mists Planet as Rides the Beast."

The Colonel rose out of his seat. "I don't believe it."

"Believe it," Ian said flatly as he sat back down in his seat.

"Can I please finish this story?" Wanda said obviously annoyed at being outed.

"I'm sorry, babe, about _everything_. Go ahead." Ian grabbed her hand and pulled it into his lap, so he could hold it with both hands.

Wanda took a deep breath and continued. "As I was saying, I was falling in love with Ian, but Melanie loved Jared. I loved Jared and Melanie, too. It was a constant battle in my head. After several months, I was accepted on the mountain, and although I had feelings for Ian, Melanie hated him. Melanie wanted Jared, but not while I was in her body. We were both suffering. Finally, I made a decision."

"What?" Both the sergeant and the Colonel said it at the same time. Even the guards were paying more attention to me than to what they were supposed to be doing.

"I made a deal with Doc. I told him I would show him how to remove a soul from the host under two conditions. First, he had to agree to put the soul into a cryo chamber and send it to another world. The second condition was when it was my turn, I wanted him to let my soul die and bury me on the mountain."

The sergeant again spoke, this time to Ian. "You agreed to this?"

Ian answered. "I didn't know. She kept it from me." He shot Wanda a look of betrayal. He looked back at the sergeant. "She waited until I was asleep to carry out her plan. Luckily, Jared woke me before they got her out of Melanie's body."

Burns walked up with Lily by his side. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

The Colonel spoke. "Join us. This is fascinating." He looked up at one of the guards. "Bring us two more chairs."

The guard walked off quickly. I got the impression he did not want to miss any of the story.

"Go on, my dear," Colonel Jeffries requested.

Suddenly, Wanda pulled her hand away from Ian and laid it over her abdomen.

"What? What's wrong?" Ian looked panicked.

"I don't know. It's this strange feeling."

"Are you in pain?"

"No. I can't explain it. It's like being queasy, but without the nausea."

The Colonel stood up. "Can we get a healer over here?"

The same healer who had attended to Wanda earlier approached the table. He listened for the baby's heartbeat. He had a very serious look on his face. I was nervous that her injuries were more severe than he had suspected.

"I'll tell you what the problem is. This baby is moving all over the place. Does it feel like butterflies flitting around in your belly?"

"Yes!"

"You are feeling your baby move," he said as a matter of fact.

"Oh my god!" Wanda grabbed Ian's face and kissed him.

"When is the last time you ate?" the healer asked.

Ian spoke. "I tried to get her to eat this morning, but she wouldn't."

Wanda protested. "It's not like I'm the only one who didn't eat today."

"True," I replied, knowing that no one had much of an appetite this morning.

The Colonel motioned for the other guard, who was facing us, to approach him. He took the guard aside and spoke to him. The guard nodded and then walked away.

"We don't want to seem uncivilized. Do your people have food?"

I took the lead. "Yes, but our main stock of supplies is kept in the kitchen at the house. Most of the humans have retreated to the cave for protection. They haven't had a hot meal in two days."

"I understand. If we provide food for them, will they eat it?"

I immediately thought of the easiest way to dispose of us, and I couldn't help but force a nervous smile. "Will they be serving Kool-Aid with that?"

The Colonel nodded. "Okay." He turned to Burns. "I'm assuming they trust you."

"Yes, I believe they do."

"Go to them. Let them know that they can take an armed guard with them to the house and prepare food for themselves. Those of you at the table can eat with me if you don't mind."

I responded for my people. "It's fine with me, if it's fine with them."

"I hope you didn't go through all the trouble of healing me just to poison me," Wanda added.

"I don't think you are the one who has to worry," Ian pointed out.

"Colonel Jeffries, you wouldn't poison the three men I love most in this world, would you?"

"Mrs. O'Shea, you have my word."

"There, you see?"

Burns got up to leave.

"I would like your mate to stay here with us," the Colonel ordered.

"She's my girlfriend, not my mate," Burns shot back.

"You really don't like me, do you?" the Colonel asked.

In the years that I had come to know Burns, I knew that dealing with his own kind was difficult for him. He had expressed to me on more than one occasion that he wouldn't be opposed to taking his own life because he likened the takeover by his species to the atrocities of Hitler. Although I had to agree that the expulsion of the human mind was an atrocity, Burns was not like the others. He was a blessing to my family. It wasn't until Wanda came into our lives that he seemed to accept his importance in the clan. Lily had finally brought love back into his heart.

"Truthfully, no I don't," he answered.

"Fair enough. Answer my questions, and I will allow the both of you to go."

Burns faced the Colonel.

"You and this human are not life partners, then?"

"We are in a committed relationship, but I have not asked her to marry me."

Lily looked wounded.

Burns continued. "I can tell you that I love her though."

The Colonel looked directly at Lily. "Do you love him?"

She answered in a small voice. "Very much."

The Colonel nodded to her. "Thank you. You may go with him."

Lily got up, and Burns placed his hand on her face. He didn't kiss her, but looked into her eyes. She smiled. Then, he put his arm around her shoulders and led her off the field. Burns was never much for public displays of affection, so this small gesture spoke volumes.

As they marched off the field, I stood up and addressed the group. "Can we _please_ get back to this meeting?"

"What, are you in a hurry to die?" Ian scowled.

The Colonel interrupted. "No one said anything about dying. I want you to know that I am trying to be objective here."

I decided to put it all out there. "I'm glad to hear you say that. I was hoping that we may prove to be an inspiration that humans and souls can live together. I, personally, would like to continue our 'experiment' if you will."

"You make an interesting argument. I _will_ keep it in mind." He took a deep breath. "Now, where were we before Mrs. O'Shea's little health scare?"

The Sergeant read from his computer. "Sir, if I may, Mr. O'Shea spoke last, and he said, I quote, 'I didn't know. She waited till I was asleep to carry out her plan. Luckily, Jared woke me before they got her out of Melanie's body."

"Right, Mrs. O'Shea. Would you care to continue?"

The Sergeant spoke before I could utter a word. "I don't mean to impose, and I certainly mean no disrespect to you or the Colonel, but I have a question."

"What is it, Sergeant Woodfern?"

"How did the Doc know how to retrieve your soul from the host? You said, and I quote, 'I would show him how to remove a soul from the host under two conditions.'"

"We needed a 'guinea pig,' but we wanted to make sure whoever it was, they would be useful to us. We chose a healer. We chose Candy."

The Sergeant understood the implication immediately. "You kidnapped her?"

Wanda's face turned bright red.

Ian answered. "Yes, Jared and Brandt kidnapped her from the front of a hospital. Wanderer showed Doc step by step how to remove the soul. The soul was placed in a cryo tank which we also took from the hospital, and we dropped her off at a shuttle port going to The Planet of the Flowers."

"I suppose that answers your question, Sergeant," the Colonel surmised.

"Yes, Sir, it does."

"Now back to you, Wanderer. You don't mind if I call you Wanderer, do you?"

"No, that's fine."

"You obviously didn't die," he pointed out.

"Well, no. When Ian found out what was going on, he…he…Well, I'm told he freaked out. As soon as my soul was removed, he took me off the table, and he put me into a cryo tank, and then he wouldn't let anyone else touch it. He sent Jared and Jamie out to find a new host."

"They picked someone so young. Why didn't they pick someone better suited to Ian's age?"

"They picked just fine," Ian said in my defense. "Who wouldn't love her?"

"Got me. I fell in love with her the first time I saw her, and I'm older than Ian," I declared.

Wanda smiled at me before looking back at the Colonel. "Actually, it was Jamie who chose the host. He was fourteen. He said he wanted someone that no one could say 'no' to."

"I see his logic, but still, a twenty year old would have suited him better."

"Well, another reason is they wanted to get someone who wouldn't come back when the soul was removed. You see, if the soul is implanted when the human is older, then if you remove it, the human comes back, like in the case with Candy. Pet was implanted in this host when she was only eight years old. There was nothing but a vacant body when I came in."

"I would like to speak to this Melanie and her lover and her brother." He looked at the Sergeant. "What were their names?"

Wanda answered before he did. "Melanie, Jared, and Jamie; but Mel and Jared are not here. They went off again to search for her cousin. Melanie is sure she is in Chicago somewhere."

"And the fourteen year old?"

"He's fifteen now, and he's with us."

"I would like to question him. Can you get him for me?"

The guard came to the table. "Sir, the lunch is ready to be served."

Ian got up. "I'll go get Jamie. Wanderer needs to eat." He leaned down and kissed her on the head. "I love you," he said, and then he ran off the field.

"He's a big guy," the Colonel commented.

"Yes, he's the baseball coach."

"Ah, yes. We are in the middle of the baseball field."

The food was delivered to us at the table. There were sub sandwiches with chips, pickles, and drinks that had been ordered from the sub shop in town. Ian returned quickly with Jamie. They sat next to me. I hoped that Ian reminded Jamie to protect the caverns at all costs.

The Colonel greeted him. "You must be Jamie."

"Yes, Jamie Stryder."

"Sit. Eat, Jamie Stryder."

Ian and Jamie ate in silence. Wanda was on my left, so I shifted my attention to her. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, I guess I was hungry."

"Well, you are eating for two." I brushed her hair over her shoulder. It may have looked as though I was flirting, but in reality, I was fearful that it may be the last time I would get to show her how much I cared for her and about her.

When the Colonel finished his lunch, he decided he was ready to continue the meeting. He turned his attention to Jamie. "Can you tell me about how Mrs. O'Shea came to be here on the mountain?"

"You mean Wanda? Sure."

The Sergeant cut him off. "I thought her name was Wanderer."

"Well it is, but Jeb came up with Wanda because it sounded more human, and it stuck."

"Who's this Jeb?"

Wanda jumped in. "He's one of the older people in our community. He's got a thing for me."

"Yes, I'm beginning to see a trend." The Colonel smiled. "I'm sorry young man. Please continue."

Jamie heeded the Colonel's request. "Mel went looking for Sharon, but she got caught. She was gone for a long time. A couple of months. When she finally came back, she wasn't Mel anymore. Jared was pissed. He wanted her dead but…" He stopped. We knew he was thinking, so he wouldn't screw up. "Nate said she might be interesting to learn from. He made Jared guard her. They locked her in the root cellar."

"I see. You said Jared wanted her dead. Did he try to kill her?"

"No, he hurt her real bad though." He looked at Ian, and Ian nodded his head to Jamie. "Kyle and Ian almost killed her though. The first time, Ian nearly strangled her, and the second time, Kyle almost drowned her."

"Who saved her?"

"Well, here's the funny part. The first time, Kyle and Jared were fighting. Ian had her, but Burns used a gun to threaten him, and he dropped her. The second time, it was Ian who saved her from his brother."

"Ian and Kyle are brothers?"

"Yes."

"Did you want her dead?"

"No, never. I was the first one she told that Mel was in her head with her."

"And you believed her?"

"Yep." He leaned back in his chair and smiled at Wanda.

The Colonel sat back in his chair and nodded his head. He leaned forward again. "So, Melanie is in that body with her?"

"Heck, no. Wanda gave Melanie back her body."

"She did? Then, where did this body come from?"

"I got it for her," he said proudly.

"You did?"

"Well, it was me and Jared, but I picked her. She's perfect. Don't you think?"

Ian smiled so hard he had to turn away.

"She's a fine young lady. Tell me, where is your sister now?"

"Mel and Jared went to look for Sharon again."

"Why did she wait so long? Wanderer has had this host body for what, at least four months."

"It's been a year and four months," Wanda said in her defense. I could only assume she didn't want him to think that Ian knocked her up as soon as she was put into her present body.

The Colonel ignored me. "Jamie, why did she wait?"

"Because she was pregnant."

My heart sank. Poor Jamie wasn't very good at thinking on his feet.

"She had a baby? Where is this baby?"

Ian took control of the conversation. "The baby is inside the cave, and he won't be coming out. They are under strict orders to protect him at all costs."

"I'm sorry, Ian. I didn't mean to tell," Jamie blurted out.

"It's okay, kid."

"Can I go now?"

"Sure," the Colonel replied. "I'd like to meet Ian's brother, Kyle."

I took the opportunity to interject. "His girlfriend is a soul. Would you like to meet her as well?"

The Colonel had been leaning back on the two back legs of his chair. Now the chair slapped back to the ground. "Kyle, the guy who nearly drowned Wanderer, has a soul for a girlfriend? Are you kidding me?"

I smiled at the thought that the toughest critic of the souls had his heart stolen by Sunny's persistence. "What can I say? Wanderer and Sunny are special. They can turn the meanest of men. How is she working on you?"

"Bring them out," he replied without allowing any emotion surface.

Ian got up with Jamie. "I'll walk him back."

"Excuse me. I need to use the bathroom," Wanda interjected.

"That's a good idea. How about we all take a ten minute break and meet back here."

Wanda got up and joined Ian. They took advantage of the break and showed each other affection. I felt this was good. After all, the Colonel couldn't deny the love and the chemistry between them. It was clear that all of the souls were watching them. I walked swiftly to join them as they slowly made their way arm in arm off the field.

I tried to remain optimistic. "I think it's going well."

"I think you are reading too much into it," Ian shot back.

My response was swift. "Well, I will do whatever it takes to try and make this thing work in our favor. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to thank Victoria for keeping her wits about her. This could have been a fiasco."

I separated from them once we reached the cave. Ian and Wanda headed for the outdoor port-a-potty that we maintained for those living in the cave. I headed for the room with the skylight. There was a ladder propped up for those who were perched above the cave. I climbed the ladder as Blake peered down at me. He offered me his hand as I reached the top step.

As I surveyed the top of cave, I saw that Victoria was still in position with her gun to her shoulder. The others were not. Each had abandoned their posts and taken a break. I approached Victoria.

"Tori, I need to talk to you."

"I can't," she replied, her sights still set on the field. "I have a job to do."

I turned and spied Evan approaching me with his gun still in hand.

"Evan, will you please take over for Tori, so I can speak with her?"

"Sure thing." He knelt next to Tori. "I got it. Take a break."

She lowered her rifle and looked up at me. There were tears in her eyes. "I thought you were dead," she croaked.

"I'm not." I extended my hand to her, so I could help her to her feet, and she accepted.

As she rose to her feet, she broke down.

I pulled her into my arms and held her. I knew the stress of the situation had taken its toll on her. I wanted to cry, too, but I knew I had to be strong. I gave her a few minutes to let it out. I noticed Blake was watching us intently, but he didn't interfere. He let us have our moment.

As I stroked her hair, I spoke. "I am so proud of you. I know how easy it would have been for you to pick one of them off, but you stayed true to your orders."

She pulled back to face me. "You're not mad at me for shooting him?"

"No. You stopped him from creating more havoc, but you didn't take him out. You're a hero."

"Me?" she said incredulously.

I smiled. "Yes, you."

"Oh, Nate." She grabbed my face and kissed me full on. It took me by surprise, and I should have stopped her, but I didn't. I kissed her back, long and hard. I didn't even think about the fact that her boyfriend was standing behind me with a loaded gun. In my mind, I was kissing a woman who had made a great impact on my life since her arrival on the mountain, and now, I wasn't sure how much longer we might have in this world, so I took advantage of the moment, of our past relationship, and of the obvious love we still felt for each other. I was happy to kiss her and grateful she saved my life.

When she pulled away, she wiped my lips with her thumb.

I slowly turned to the others. "I think we may have made some headway in our negotiations. We were given a quick bathroom break, and I don't want to be late getting back. Keep your positions and take your cues from Tori. She's in charge."

I passed Blake on my way back to the ladder. I leaned toward him and whispered. "Thank you."

I descended the ladder with a heavy heart. I don't know why, but I felt like this would be the last time I would talk to them. I didn't like this feeling. I didn't like the fact that Ian's words had given me cause to lose hope.

I turned the corner to enter the hall and ran smack into Gina. We collided in the dimly lit corridor.

"Gina! Jesus! Are you all right?"

"Nathan. I needed to see you. I needed to see that you are okay."

"I'm fine." The truth was I didn't want to see her. I was afraid seeing her would be the straw that would break the camel's back, and my emotions would get the better of me. I loved Gina, but I couldn't face her. I couldn't say good-bye. "I have to go," I blubbered as I shot past her.

"Nate!" she bellowed.

I stopped and turned to her. "I…I can't." I practically ran out of the cave.


	78. Chapter 78

**Well, the end of the year is near. I finally got Book 3 of For the Love of Brynn completed and released for sale on Amazon. This gives me a little time to concentrate on Nate's Diary for a bit before I begin the publishing process for book 4. I'm excited because I am finally close to the end of A Soul's Hope which will give me carte blanche on Nate's life as we approach the end of the original story. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It is short, but on the plus side, I've already begun writing the next chapter. Bon appetite!**

PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW

WE REASSSEMBLED and walked back to the field as a group. The entire walk back, I was thinking about Gina. I was regretting my choice of avoiding her. The more I realized that I might never return, the more I was despondent over not telling Gina that I loved her.

The sun had been out earlier, but now it was overcast. Considering we were sitting in the middle of a field, this was probably a good thing, but I couldn't help but wonder if this was a sign of things to come.

I sat at the end of the table. Wanda sat next to me with Ian on her opposite side. Sunny and Kyle sat on the other side of Ian. Colonel Jeffries and Sergeant Woodfern sat across from us and introduced themselves to Kyle and Sunny. Kyle and Sunny reciprocated and remained pleasant.

"Kyle, I hear that you and your brother have resorted to violence quite often in your lifetime."

"Well, Ian was always the calm one. He didn't become violent until the takeover. I've always been a rough and tumble kind of guy. That's probably why I played football in college."

"Are you dangerous now?"

"I think everyone has the potential to be dangerous. Am I violent? No, I haven't been violent in close to two years. Pretty much since Sunny came along."

The colonel focused on Sunny. "Sunny, would you tell me how you came to be on this mountain?"

"My host was a woman named Jodie. Jodie and Kyle were in love. She knew exactly how to handle Kyle. My memories of him were very strong. One night, Kyle came through my bedroom window. I was so excited. He wanted me to come with him. I was so in love with him, I went without a fight. He told me that they were going to send me to another world, so he could have Jodie back. I didn't want to go. I was so devastated. Why didn't he want me?"

Kyle took Sunny's hands in his. "Sunny, it's not that I didn't want you. I didn't know you. I was in love with Jodie."

"What about now?"

"You know I love you. Why do you think I was so upset when you left?"

Ian stood up. "Guys! We could be dead in another hour. Do you want to spend your final hour arguing about whether or not you love each other?"

The colonel interrupted Ian's tirade. "Why do you keep harping on the doom and gloom?"

"Why? Since the day we caught your surveyor watching our friendly baseball game, it's the only thing any of us have thought about. My wife is having nightmares about the outcome. How am I supposed to console her when I'm scared to death of being without her? Do you have any idea what this feels like? We were going to be a family…" Ian's emotions caught up to him. "You son of a bitch!" He walked away about twenty feet and collapsed to his knees with his back to us.

"Go to him," I said to Wanda. She heeded my words and sprang from her seat to comfort him. We all watched as Ian and Wanda spoke to each other. Although we couldn't hear them, the expression in Wanda's eyes spoke the words we couldn't hear. Ian kissed his wife with immense passion. I couldn't look away, and I could only assume that no one else could either.

Ian wiped the tears from Wanda's cheeks and helped Wanda to her feet. They returned to the table; Ian holding tightly onto Wanda's hand.

"So you decided to join us again," the colonel declared.

"Yes, he's better now," Wanda replied.

"Amazing how you can heal a distraught man with just one kiss. You should have been a comforter."

Wanda's cheeks showed her embarrassment at being watched. "I was really hoping to be a wife and mother."

"Sergeant, please get us back on track here," the colonel commanded.

The sergeant scanned his computer. "Ah, here we go. 'I went without a fight. He told me they were going to send me to another world, so he could have Jodie back. I didn't want to go.'"

Kyle took over the story. "I brought Sunny back here. Sunny was very sweet. I wanted to make sure she went somewhere nice. When they took her out and placed her into the cryo tank, I kept her with me. We waited and waited for Jodie to return, but she didn't. Jodie's body was just an empty shell. I asked them to return Sunny to the host. In the beginning, she was like my little 'pet'. It was Wanda who helped us to take the next step and go to the next level. Now, Sunny rules me."

The colonel looked at Wanda. "So, you're a matchmaker, too."

"I suppose. There's only one person I haven't been able to match up with anyone." She glared at me.

I spoke. "In my defense, I love only one woman." It was a lie, but they didn't need to know that. Under the circumstances, it was better for them to think that Wanda was the only woman I desired.

The colonel looked from me to Wanda, and then to Ian who was rubbing his forehead with his fingertips. "Mr. O'Shea, you have your hands full with this one, don't you?"

"You have no idea," Ian replied.

The colonel laughed a hearty laugh. "No wonder you're insane!"

"He's not insane!" Wanda snapped.

The sergeant addressed Ian. "Would it have been any easier if she wasn't a soul?"

Ian creased his eyebrows and looked at the sergeant in a way that could only be described as incredulous. "Then she wouldn't be Wanderer. It's the _soul_ I love. The packaging is just a plus."

The colonel folded his arms across his chest as he declared, "That is the single most promising thing I have heard all day. The best part is you backed up that statement one hundred percent when you held her broken soul in your hands and wept. I have to admire that."

"Thank you, Colonel, sir."

The colonel took a deep breath. "Is there anyone else that we should interview?"

I took the opportunity to answer. "We have one more soul with a human girlfriend that you may want to meet."

"And who would that be?"

"Ice. His real name is Ice Conqueror."

"Kyle and Sunny, you may go. If you could send Ice and his mate to us, I would appreciate it."

The sergeant stopped them before they were able to walk away. "Sunny? Is that your real name?"

"No. It's 'Sunlight Passing through the Ice,' but no one calls me that anymore."

"Thank you. And you are Kyle O'Shea. Is that correct?"

"Yes, that's correct."

The sergeant nodded, and the couple departed. Wanda got up to stretch, and Ian followed. Again, they spoke to each other, only this time they both laughed. Once again, Ian wrapped himself around his wife and kissed her as if he were alone with her. I had to admit I was jealous of all the affection they showed each other, but at the same time, I felt this was good for the cause. They were getting pretty hot and heavy, and the colonel shot me a look of disapproval. I took the hint and rose from my seat to break up the lovefest.

I was a few feet away when Ian noticed me and broke from the world of Wanda he was immersed in. "What?" he demanded.

"A little decorum please?"

Ian marched up to me and got very close to my face to make his point. "Oh please, I'll kiss her if I want to. For all we know, it could be my _last _kiss. Tell me, if I said go kiss her right now, that you wouldn't run your little butt over there and plant one on her."

"Okay, you've made your point."

Ice and Heidi were on their way out to the table. Wanda grabbed both me and Ian's hand in hers, and we walked back to our seats.

"All right, it's getting late. Let's finish this thing up." Colonel Jeffries addressed the newcomers. "I'm told your name is Ice Conqueror."

Ice stood up and offered his hand to the colonel. "You can call me 'Ice'."

"This human here is your mate?"

Ice laughed. "That sounds kind of 'cave man,' don't you think?"

"I suppose it does. How did you end up here on the mountain?"

Ice laughed again. He was the only one who seemed to be amused by all this. "Well, here I was living this dreary existence of a life. No family, no prospects for one on the horizon, boring job." He looked over at Wanda. He was still standing. "Then one day, this lovely young lady came to the 'Home Depot' where I worked. She bought a ton of stuff and pushed it out to her van. What kind of a man would I be if I didn't help her out? She didn't want my help, but I insisted. I thought not only could I do my job, but maybe, just maybe, I could get a phone number."

"I _knew _it," Ian snapped.

"Come on, Ian. Who wouldn't hit on your wife? They weren't even married yet. She had no ring. That was the first thing I looked for. Anyway, I digress. What I didn't know was these two guys were in the back of the van. As soon as I saw them, there was no turning back. They grabbed me and knocked me out."

"They hit you?" the sergeant asked.

"No, chloroform. I was out like a light. Best thing that ever happened to me."

"You were forcibly taken from your life, and you say it was the best thing that ever happened to you?"

"These humans respected me more than anyone in my entire life. Wanda showed me that I could be a vital part of all of these people's lives, and I've finally found a lady who makes me feel loved. This place…it's good."

"Would you like to introduce me to your lady?" the colonel asked.

It seemed that Ice was much more accommodating to the colonel than Burns had been, and because of that, the colonel seemed much more at ease with Ice.

"Yes, of course. This is Heidi. We've only been seeing each other for less than a year, but it's been the best year of my life."

Heidi offered her hand to the colonel. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."

"Yes, it is a pleasure to meet you as well."

The colonel turned to me. "I think we have only one more person to see."

I had to admit I was more than a little bit confused. He had met all of the souls and their mates as well.

"I believe you have been holding a hostage?"

"Oh, Eli. I forgot about him."

"Don't tell me he wants to stay here, too."

"No. He has a family back where he came from. I wouldn't want to keep him from that," I replied.

Ian rose again. "I'll get him."

Ian lumbered off the field followed by Ice and Heidi. He returned quickly with Eli by his side. As Eli approached, the colonel rose from his seat. "I'm sorry you had to wait so long for us to come for you. I hope your family will understand."

"Considering the circumstances, I am sure my family will be happy that I am alive. You know I had been led to believe that the humans are dangerous, volatile creatures. My time spent with them has been an experience. Although it is true that some of the humans can be emotional, I feel that if put into the same circumstance that we, and I mean all of us, would react in the same way. It's basic survival mode, sir. I have come to respect the drive and the endless battle that these humans and souls have to fight every single day just to remain on this earth."

Wanda started to cry.

I rose to my feet and reached out to shake Eli's hand. "Thank you, Eli. If we survive this, you and your family are welcome to visit any time." Eli pulled me into a hug which took me by surprise, but I was grateful.

The colonel spoke. "Corporal, will you please escort Eli off the field?"

One of the guards stepped forward and ushered Eli from the table.

The colonel leaned forward. "Now, comes the hard part." He sighed. "I have to take two of you with me. Nate, you are the leader, and therefore, it makes sense that you would go. Wanderer, you are the most compelling young female I have ever met. If you are true to your community, I feel that you would be the best soul to represent them in a fight to save them. I am not the person who makes the decision. I am merely a fact gatherer. I can offer my opinion."

"She's not going anywhere without me," Ian asserted.

"Suit yourself, but remember, I am not the power once we leave here. You cannot lose your temper as you have done here. They will not look favorably upon that. This is my advice."

"I understand, but my wife is not leaving without me."

"Fair enough. I'll give you thirty minutes to go back to your people and tell them that you are going."

"_Where_ are we going if you don't mind my asking," I asked.

"Washington D C."

"How long will we be gone?"

"I can't answer that question."

"Can we take our cell phones?"

"They will most likely take them from you and run the numbers to see who you've been calling. They probably won't give them back, but you didn't hear that from me."

Wanda spoke up. "Colonel?"

"Yes, Mrs. O'Shea?"

"Can you promise me that nothing bad will happen to Ian and Nate?"

"By bad, you mean…"

"I mean promise me they won't implant them with a Seeker…with any soul."

"I will do everything in my power to avoid that from happening."

"Thank you."

We walked swiftly to our people. I called a meeting inside the cave. I tried to remain upbeat. I told them the meeting went as well as I could have hoped for and that the colonel seemed sympathetic to our situation. I let them know that Wanda, Ian, and I volunteered to go with them to Washington D C to represent us to a higher court. I appointed Burns the leader in my absence and requested that everyone respect and adhere to his decisions. I made it clear that I didn't know how long we would be gone, and if, by chance, we didn't come back, it meant that we had failed. It was difficult to admit that we might fail. For me, failure was not on option. I assured them that I would do everything in my power to preserve the mountain community. At the end of the speech, there were lots of hugs and well wishes for us. Even Victoria had come down off of her perch on top of the cave. I again thanked her for having the restraint to stop the shooter on the other side without killing him. She grabbed me and kissed me and told me that no matter what may happen, the time we spent together was time she would never forget. It was heartbreaking. There were lots of tears. The half hour went by so quickly.

I wrestled with my thoughts on Gina. She sat in a corner looking pathetic. I knew I couldn't leave her like this. I approached her and pulled her to her feet. She looked into my eyes. I could tell she had been crying.

I took her hands in mine. "Come with me."

She nodded and followed me to my room. As soon as I shut the door, I pushed her up against the rock wall. I attacked her lips with ferocity. I knew this could be the last chance I might get to kiss her, and I wanted it to remain with me till my last breath. She kissed me back, and my hands traveled to her magnificent breasts. I knew this was what Ian felt like when he was kissing Wanda out on the field. I didn't want to stop. I wanted to make love to her. I wouldn't have cared if someone shot me in the back and took my life as long as my last thoughts were of the pleasure of having Gina.

"I love you, Gina," I whispered.

"I love you, Nate. I don't want you to go."

Unfortunately, her words brought me back to reality, and I realized that this was about everyone and not just Gina. "I don't want to go either, but this is not about you and me. It's about my family on the mountain. If I can ensure that you and Evan can live a long happy life on this mountain, then my life would not have been in vain. Just know that I will always have you in my heart."

At that moment, Gina broke down and started to sob uncontrollably. "I don't want you to die!" she blubbered.

"I don't want to die either. I think they will use my body for their needs."

She looked at me in horror. "No! I'd rather you died!"

"Look at me," I said with authority. "No matter what, I will still be in this body. I won't give up; just like Melanie, I will fight to stay alive, and I will do everything in my power to protect the ones I love."

I hugged her tightly while she sobbed.

"Can I get one more kiss before I go?"

I brushed her hair behind her ear and smiled at her. It was difficult to smile in the wake of this sadness, but I forced it for her sake. I leaned in and kissed her—one last kiss. I tried to embed her sweet taste in my mind and the curve of her breast as I caressed her.

A knock on the door interrupted our moment of bliss.

"They're waiting on you." It was Burns.

I felt my own eyes fill with tears. I backed away. "I have to go."

She slowly shook her head back and forth. "Don't."

I left her in my room. It was heartbreaking. I sought out Evan before leaving the cave. "Gina is in my room. Please take care of her. Love her as I wish I had the sense to do."

I went to Burns, and we exchanged words of undying friendship followed by the kind of hug brothers would give to each other.

My last good-bye was to Maria. She had been a rock up to this point.

"Maria," I said with caution. "I'll be back."

"Will you?" she said.

"I have to believe that. I can't give up on you, and I certainly can't give up on me."

"You've been a good leader to us here."

"Thank you."

"And you're a good boy." Her voice cracked.

"Please don't cry. This is hard enough."

"Okay," she said as she swallowed hard. "You stay strong."

"I will." I kissed her on the cheek and backed away. I turned to join the others who were waiting at the entrance to the cave, but I turned back.

She was crumbling.

"I love you, Mom."

The lump in my throat had given way to more tears. This was hard. I had kept it together, but my emotions were high, and my willpower was spent. Wanda pulled me into a hug when she saw me.

"We'll be okay," she whispered; although, her voice didn't exactly project confidence.

Ian, Wanda, and I held hands as we walked across the field to the waiting soldiers. Colonel Jeffries and Sergeant Woodfern were nowhere to be seen. Another soldier came forward.

"I am Captain Rising from the Mist, and I will be in charge of your escort to the Capital. Please do not be afraid. The guns are a precaution. This way, please."

We followed the captain into a waiting vehicle, and we were whisked away to the nearest shuttle port. We were escorted onto a military transport and quickly took off on our way to the Capital. I swallowed my sorrow and did my best to project excitement about the trip.

Wanda clung to Ian the entire trip. When they served us dinner, Ian had to force Wanda to eat. The only time she released her grip on him was to go to the bathroom on the shuttle. We had armed guards around us at all times. We didn't talk much, but Ian kissed Wanda often. They weren't long passionate kisses, but rather little kisses of reassurance. They constantly told each other that they loved each other during the six hours flight. I spent my time staring out the window and thinking about each one of the members of my family. I thought about Rachel and the intimate moments we had shared. I thought about my niece and what a curious and beautiful little girl she was. I thought about Blake, and what a fine young man he had become. I thought about Victoria, and the relationship we had forged since her arrival. I thought about Danny, and how much he loved the sport of baseball. I thought about Maria, and what a wise and nurturing mother she had become to me. I even thought about Nadia, and the fact that she was still safe in the mines. I knew I would need to shut her life out of my mind and never think of her again as well as everyone that remained in the caverns. I wondered how Melanie had done it. She said that she put up a wall. I tried to imagine a solid titanium wall between those that I could think of and those that needed to be kept on the other side of that wall. Gina was not on the other side. I thought about her, and again, the tears filled my eyes. I stayed fixated on the view outside the window, so Ian and Wanda wouldn't see.

Once we landed, we were escorted into another waiting military vehicle and driven to a military compound where we were turned over to another officer.

Everything I had dreaded became reality from that point.

"I'm sorry, but we are under orders to follow protocol, so we have to separate you."

"No!" Wanda clung to Ian.

"This is my wife. We will stay together," Ian said boldly.

"I'm sorry. We have to follow the rules set by General Blue Flame."

It took four soldiers to rip them apart, and Wanda was crying hysterically.

I was put into a room with a bed and a table with a lamp. There was nothing else in the room. I lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I tried to imagine what the outcome may be. I started with a happy ending. I was deep in my thoughts when there was a knock on the door.

I sat up as a soldier entered the room carrying a tray with what I assumed was possibly something to help me sleep. He did not speak. He set the tray on the edge of the bed and then left the room. The tray contained a scone and a cup of hot chocolate. I wasn't very hungry, so I replaced the cover and resumed my thoughts. I ended up thinking about Gina.

An hour later, there was a knock on my door. The Captain entered. "I regret to inform you that General Blue Flame has ordered that you be implanted."

My heart began to pound.

"If you put up a fight, I will have to shoot you. I don't want to do that."

I had a decision to make. I could put up a fight and end my life or go peacefully and pray that the soul would give up on me and give me back my body. "_Who am I kidding? I'm toast anyway," _I thought to myself.I rushed toward him and threw a punch. He fell to the ground, and I fought to get his gun. Suddenly, another soldier entered the room and stabbed me in the neck with a hypodermic needle. That was the last thing I remember before I blacked out.

8


	79. Chapter 79

**Not sure how many of you are still with me after my long drought, but I thought I'd start the New Year off right.**

**I hope you like it.**

**TRAPPED**

I'M NOT SURE when I became conscious. I heard muffled noises that I couldn't quite make out. Then I heard my own voice.

"So far, I have no side affects," I heard myself say.

"_Who am I talking to?" _I asked myself.

Suddenly, there was a bright light. I couldn't focus.

"_What the hell? Get that light out of my face!"_

The brightness dissipated, and my vision became clear. I was in what appeared to be a hospital room. There was a doctor sitting on a stool next to me.

"_Who are you?" _I asked; only the words didn't come out of my mouth.

"He's with me now," I said.

"_Who's with me now?" _I asked, and once again, there were no sounds coming from my mouth.

"You need to try to communicate with him," the doctor replied.

"I'll try."

I tried to get up, but my body wouldn't respond. "_Why can't I move?"_ I said in a panic.

"_You can't move because I am in control," _the voice replied.

"_Who the hell are you?"_

"_I am Travels the Frozen Tundra, and this is my body now."_

"_Screw you. I'm not leaving."_

"_That's good because I need information."_

"_You'll get nothing from me."_

"_We shall see."_

"He's aware of what happened, and he's angry," I said to the doctor.

"I'm not surprised. I imagine losing control of one's own functions must be very much like being dropped in a cryo tank for a thousand years."

"But we are merely being transported to our new host planet."

"Precisely, humans have a relatively short life span, and you have just taken that from him."

"You sound like a sympathizer."

"I am a healer. I do what I have to in order for souls to survive. It doesn't mean I have to enjoy hurting those that inhabited the host planet. How many flowers did we have to destroy when we invaded the fire planet?"

"We had to eat," I argued.

"It didn't make it right. Many of the souls have left the planet for that very reason."

I thought about Wanda. She had told us the story of the fire planet. Burns had come from there, and he, too, had told me many a time that he suffered much guilt on that planet. He thought coming to earth would be a change, but instead, he found only more guilt. He hated his own species.

"He knows all about the fire planet. His best friend, Burns Living Flowers, came from that planet."

That was the moment that I realized that he could pick up on anything I was thinking about. _"I can make him crazy," _I thought to myself.

"_You won't make me crazy. I am not that weak," _he replied.

"_We shall see," _I said mimicking his earlier comment.

There was a knock on the door, and a man in uniform entered.

"Fords Deep Water, how is the patient doing?" the officer asked.

I found myself rising out of the bed and saluting the officer.

"At ease, Travels the Frozen Tundra."

"Well, as you can see, the soul has taken to the host."

"And the host, Nathan Downey, is he in there?"

"It seems that he is."

"Very good. If Travels the Frozen Tundra feels up to traveling, we would like to present him to the President and Wanderer."

"_Wanda? Oh, shit! She's gonna freak!"_

"The host seems to think Wanderer is going to be upset."

"We will prepare her," the officer replied. "Rest a little longer, and we will come for you in a bit."

"Thank you, sir. This body is taking some getting used to. There is so much to the mechanics."

"_There's no mechanics. It's a fucking body, you twit!"_

"_I don't know why you are angry with me; I was told that you agreed to this."_

"_They lied to you. Don't you know anything about your own kind? They tell you what you want to hear just to keep the peace and harmony."_

"_And what's wrong with peace and harmony?"_

"_Nothing's wrong with it when it is obtained honestly."_

"_It seems to me that your kind hasn't been able to obtain peace and harmony in the thousands of years you've been on this planet."_

"_You act like we landed here. We evolved on this planet."_

"_If you ask me, you haven't evolved at all."_

The officer said his good-byes and left the room.

My body yawned. "I'm a little tired. Do you think I might rest for a bit?"

"Sure, I'll check on you in an hour," the doctor replied as he stood up.

"_Yeah, good luck with the sleep thing."_

"_Are you telling me you're not going to allow me to sleep?"_

"_I suppose I will once I'm tired."_

"_This is your body."_

"_Maybe, but I have no control of it. Funny thing, I'm not feeling tired at all."_

"_If you don't sleep, you'll make yourself sick."_

"_Wait till you meet Wanda. She's absolutely gorgeous. You know the first time I laid eyes on her, I wanted to jump her."_

"_That's rather crude."_

"_Yep, crude. That's me. I almost bedded her once."_

"_I'm told she's a married woman."_

"_She is now, but a guy can always hope."_

I thought about Wanda. I remembered the time that Ian and Burns went into town with the intention of purchasing an engagement ring. Wanda was unsure of Ian's reasons for going into town and was feeling needy. I took the opportunity to make a play for her on the porch. That was where I first kissed her. I remembered the guilty look on her face. She wouldn't admit that she enjoyed the kiss as much as I.

"_Must you?"_ Travels the Frozen Tundra said as he opened his eyes.

"_I must," _I replied.

As much as I disliked remembering the carnage that followed, I allowed the pain of Ian pummeling me to enter my thoughts. For a moment, I was lying on the floor of my room broken and bloodied, writhing in pain as Kyle and Burns dragged Ian away.

"_I can't sleep through this!"_

"_Gee, that's too bad. Maybe you'd rather I go back to kissing Wanda."_

"_I'd rather you shut down and go away."_

"_Why? So you can have her all to yourself?" _I flashed the image of Wanda dressed so sexy at the baseball field when I used her to make Ian jealous in order to even up the playing field during our first baseball game. Wanda in those short shorts and shaking her young ass got me very excited. It got Travels the Frozen Tundra excited, too.

"_Stop it!" _he ordered.

"_You know Ian acts like he is my friend, but if I were to so much as touch that pretty little wife of his, he swore he'd kill me."_

The truth was I really was tired. I felt that I could sleep now that I had given him this bit of information. I figured I'd repeat the whole escapade when we woke up.

I wasn't sure what time it was when I, or should I say _we _woke up, but I was sure we had slept for more than an hour. Travels the Frozen Tundra visited the bathroom and then walked down the hall to the nurse's desk. He asked where Fords Deep Water was. The nurse informed him that there was an emergency, and he had to leave.

I had a moment to think about it, and I remembered Wanda had mentioned that her healer when she first arrived on this planet was named Fords Deep Water. I wondered if he was aware that Wanda was Wanderer inhabiting a new host.

Suddenly, the soldiers appeared at the end of the hall. They moved swiftly toward us.

The shorter of the two spoke. "We are here to escort you to a meeting with President Halsden and General Blue Flame."

"_Is Wanda going to be there?"_

He ignored me. "I'd like to freshen up, if you don't mind."

"Hurry. They are expecting us."

Travels the Frozen Tundra nodded and immediately headed to the bathroom. He found a toothbrush in the cabinet as well as a hairbrush.

I thought there was no better time to give him a few more snipits of my life with Wanda.

"_Hey, beautiful," _I said as I met her in the root cellar and danced with her. Feeling her body so close to mine got me very excited.

"_Your sick, you know it?"_

"_I love her. Nothing would make me happier than for Ian to disappear. He did once, you know." _I flashed pictures of me kissing Wanda in the woods and again in my bedroom when I had come so close to seducing her.

"_She couldn't do it." _I said sadly, as I projected memories of putting on her shoes after she broke up with me. The sadness wafted through my mind. I followed that with the wedding. I remembered feeling like I had lost the Superbowl the day she said, "I do." I remembered my last dance with her—at her wedding.

"_She told me that she loves me, too."_

"_She's a soul. She lied to keep peace and harmony."_

"_Fuck you."_ I was angry.

I decided to supplement my anger by thinking only about Wanda. Most of my memories started with me saying, "Hey, beautiful."

When we finally arrived to our destination, Travels the Frozen Tundra was pulled aside and told that Wanda was on the verge of a mental breakdown. He was warned to be very careful so as not to upset her. He was told that Fords Deep Water would be present, just in case. I wondered what that meant. _"Did Wanda try to kill herself?" _I wondered.

"_She's a soul. She wouldn't try to kill herself," _Travels the Frozen Tundra assured me.

"_Haven't you figured it out? Wanda's not your typical soul."_

We were led down the hall to a room with a double door. The doors were opened, and we entered the room. The first person I saw was Wanda, and she looked distraught. Ian turned to face me, and I saw that he, too, had been implanted. _"They are insane! No wonder she's on the verge of a breakdown!"_

Wanda cringed when she looked at me. She walked up to me and scowled as she studied my face. "What is your name?"

"Travels the Frozen Tundra."

"That's a _stupid_ name." She turned to the general. "Why is it all your military types come from the Mists planet or the Fire planet? Maybe because they produce souls that are more _volatile_?" she said with venom in her voice.

"Mrs. O'Shea, we don't need to insult his name."

She crossed the room to Ian and spoke to him directly. "Ian, forgive me, but I have to do this to save Nate."

She walked up to Travels the Frozen Tundra and planted one right on the lips before he could react. _"Now that's what I'm talking about!" _For a moment he lost his control of my body, and I smiled. Then just as quickly that smile turned to surprise as he regained control. _"Oh, come on. You know you liked it. Don't be such a pussy!"_

Wanda got in his face. "Go ahead, Nate. Keep yelling at him. You're pissing him off," she said, taunting him.

"Stop telling him what to do!" he snapped back at her.

"Ha! He's in there. I knew it!"

The General spoke. "Mrs. O'Shea! Will you _please_ control yourself?"

At that moment, Colonel Jeffries entered the room with Sergeant Woodfern in tow. As soon as he came through the door, Wanda verbally attacked him.

"Colonel Jeffries, you went back on your promise! How could you?"

"Hold on, Missy. What are you talking about?"

"They implanted them both!"

He looked over at both Ian and me. "I'm sorry. My orders were to the contrary."

The President spoke. "Mrs. O'Shea! If you cannot control yourself, you will be removed!"

Fords Deep Water stood up and tried to convince Wanda to sit down.

Rising Smoke spoke. "Wanderer." The fact that it was Ian's voice was enough to freeze Wanda in her tracks. "Ian wants you to relax. He doesn't want another medical issue. He says…I love you."

She went quietly with Fords Deep Water and sat in the chair next to him.

Again, I wondered what sort of medical issue Wanda had endured.

President Halsden took a deep breath. "Okay. Now that things are in order, I'll ask the questions if you don't mind."

Wanda nodded her head.

Satisfied with her response, the President turned his attention to me. "Travels the Frozen Tundra, tell me what memories you have seen from the mind of Nathan Downey."

"He's not letting me see anything really, except Wanderer, although that's not what he calls her."

"What does he call her?"

"He generally refers to her as 'Beautiful'. I see them playing pool. He likes to watch her. I see him dancing with her at her wedding. He's sad. I see him kissing her. I see him putting on her shoes. He is upset. I just see her. It's like a never ending slide show."

"Mrs. O'Shea. What do you do to these men?" the President asked.

"That's easy. I love them."

"But you are married."

"My heart is big enough for both men. I love Ian as my husband and my lover. I love Nate as my closest friend."

"But you've kissed him."

"Yes, I'm only human," she said boldly.

"_I told you she loves me."_

"_Shut up."_

"_Pretty harsh words from a peaceful and harmonious soul,"_ I retorted.

"Colonel, you've spent some time with her. Give me your take on this."

"This is my personal opinion. I have never in my lives ever seen two entities that belong together like Ian and Wanderer. They each have control over the other. At our meeting in the field, I saw him lose his temper. I thought for sure I would have to call the guards to physically suppress him, but I watched her control him with one kiss. Just a few minutes ago, you witnessed him control her with three words…'I love you'. It's just crazy. I personally would love to see how this relationship between human and soul plays out."

"Thank you for your opinion. Would you stay with us and discuss this further?"

"That's why I'm here. I'm just sorry I'm so late. I heard that Mrs. O'Shea had a health scare." He turned to Wanda. "I hope you're all right."

"The jury is still out on that one," she replied emphatically.

"Fords Deep Water, will you escort Mrs. O'Shea to her room at the compound?"

"Of course, Mr. President."

Wanda and the healer left the room. President Halsden directed his attention to me and Ian. "I'm sorry you haven't had the chance to acclimate to your host. I'll let you go on your way. I have a session with a comforter scheduled for each of you. I think it will be of great help to each of you."

"Thank you, Mr. President," Travels the Frozen Tundra replied.

"I'm not sure what good it will do," Ian replied. I still thought of him as Ian because I couldn't remember his new name.

We were taken by escort back to the compound where we had been staying. I thought it might be a good time for question and answer.

"_I told you Wanda would be upset."_

"_You were correct. What else can you tell me?"_

"_I'm not sure what you want to know."_

"_We found your group of ragtag followers. How many other groups are out there?"_

"_I'll answer your question, if you answer a few of mine."_

"_What questions do you have?"_

"_How long have you been here on this planet?"_

"_I've been here for two of your earth months, but I have remained in the cryo tank waiting for a viable host."_

"_Because you are a seeker?"_

"_Yes. Now answer my question."_

"_The answer is there are probably many. At least, I hope there are. I would hate to think that we are the last of our kind."_

"_So, you don't know of any others?"_

"_No."_

"_Then why do you guard your memories from me?"_

"_Because they are my memories, not yours. My turn. How long do you plan to inhabit my body?"_

"_I will stay as long as my superiors think it best."_

"_I'll never give up, you know."_

"_Neither will I."_

"_I made you smile before when Wanda kissed you."_

"_A momentary lapse. It won't happen again."_

We arrived back at the compound, and we were given ten minutes to freshen up before seeing the comforter. I referred to myself as we because we were two entities sharing the same body.

We entered the room where the comforter sat waiting. She was relatively young. I'd say early thirties. She wasn't bad looking, and she had big breasts. I didn't see a ring on her finger.

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Checking her out. Look at those tatas. Wouldn't you like to get a face full of that?"_

"_I've only been in this body a short while. I do not feel lust."_

"_Oh, well let me give you a little preview." _I thought about Gina during one of our more erotic sexcapades. She was wearing only panties, and she went down on me. Just the thought of her sucking my dick made me horny.

"_Are you insane?"_

"_What's the matter, chief? Feeling a little restricted?"_

"Are you all right?" the comforter asked.

Travels the Frozen Tundra turned away from the comforter to hide his erection. "I can't do this," he sputtered.

"You'll be fine," she assured him. She grabbed him by the arm and spun him around to face her. "Oh my!" she said as she noticed the tent he was pitching.

"I'm sorry. It's not me. It's him!"

"_Tell her you want to touch her breasts."_

"_Shut up!"_

"It's okay. It's not as if I've never seen an erection before," she said calmly. "Take a seat on the couch."

"I don't think…"

"That's the problem. You are thinking too much. You need to relax. I can give you something that will blot him out for a while, if you want."

"You can do that?""

"Absolutely."

"_Don't do it."_

"_Why not? I think a little time without you might be good."_

I was afraid that if they used something to suppress me, it might keep me from coming back.

"_You need me," _I asserted.

"_For what?"_

"_I can help you."_

"_I don't need any help."_

"_If Wanda finds out you've tossed me, she'll hate you."_

"_I don't care."_

"_You should. She's got more power in her little finger than all of us put together. Did you know she's been to nine planets?"_

"_I don't believe it."_

"_Why do you think she calls herself Wanderer? I bet she's been to your last planet."_

"Excuse me," the comforter interrupted. "Do you want me to suppress him or not?"

"_Please don't suppress me."_

"_Will you mind your manners?"_

"_I'll be good—for now."_

"Are there any side effects to doing this?"

"You'll tire easily and most likely take a nap before too long."

"I need to be alert in case the General or the President requires my presence. I'll pass."

"You've been through a lot. I'm sure the President wouldn't blame you for taking it easy these first few days. It's typical for the soul to take a few days acclimating himself to the host."

"My placement was not considered typical. I was chosen because of my strength."

"Right." The comforter studied the historical data on Travels the Frozen Tundra. "I see this is your third planet. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Your last planet was the See Weed's planet?"

"Yes."

"_Wanda was there. She said that the entire northern hemisphere chose suicide rather than accept being hosts."_

"_You said you would keep quiet."_

"_I was right, though. Wanda's been to your planet."_

"Why did you choose to leave it?" she asked.

"I came from a more volatile planet, and I was hoping a peaceful planet might suit me, but I've always been a seeker at heart, and the See Weeds don't flee. There's nothing to seek. I suppose I needed more of a challenge."

"I, myself, came from the Planet of the Spiders. I lived a hundred lifetimes there, but after a while, I wanted more. I had heard that this planet was full of color. I didn't know what color was."

"There was much color on the See Weeds planet. What bothered me most was the inability to travel."

"Yes, I was wondering how you came to be Travels the Frozen Tundra."

"My first planet was The Mists Planet."

"_Rides the Beast."_

"_How do you know about that?"_

"_Wanderer was once called Rides the Beast."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra stumbled backward in disbelief.

"Are you okay?" the comforter asked.

"I—was just told that Wanderer was once called Rides the Beast."

"I'm sorry?"

The comforter had obviously not heard of the many stories from The Mists Planet.

"Never mind, er, I don't know your name."

"Patricia."

"You have a human name."

"Yes, spider names can't really be pronounced by humans. It would behoove you to take your hosts name as well."

"Why would I do that?"

"I am only speculating here, but if they choose to send you back to where the humans are, it will be easier to walk among them with a human name, and since they already know this host, they will most likely call you by his name."

"_Yes!" _I was elated to hear that my family had not been destroyed.

"We don't know that they are still there."

I wasn't sure if he was speaking the truth, or if he was just trying to inflict pain.

"I can't say for sure, but the General did say he and President Halsden were taking the matter into consideration, and I should help you to transition quickly."

"_Ha!"_

"So, tell me, other than the previous owner giving you a tough time, is there anything else you are having trouble adjusting to?"

"Lust."

"Ah, lust is an emotion that is common among humans. It is powerful and it leads to love, jealousy, and sometimes anger and violence."

"That doesn't sound very pleasing."

"Oh, but it is. It's the need for that pleasure that makes humans act irrationally at times."

"I don't think I want it."

Patricia laughed. "Lust is a wonderful thing. It just needs to be controlled."

"_Yeah, good luck with that."_

Patricia's cell phone beeped. She looked at it and then back to us.

"It's time for your meeting. I can accompany you if you think you will need me."

"If you think it is wise."

Patricia hooked her arm through my elbow. We marched down the hall to another room escorted by two unarmed soldiers.

One of the soldiers knocked to announce our arrival. We entered the room to find a large oblong oak table surrounded by comfortable chairs. President Halsden was standing at the head of the table, and General Blue Flame was standing to his right. They motioned for us to come forward. I sat next to the General, and Patricia sat to my left.

The President spoke. "I trust you have been acclimating to your host."

"Yes, sir."

"May I ask if the original human, Nathan Downey, is present within the host body?"

"Yes, sir. I regret to say he is."

"May I speak to him?"

"Usually he is very vocal, but he has been unusually quiet since I was summoned here to you."

"I see. I imagine he is worried for his community of humans."

"_You imagine correct."_

"He does not deny that he is concerned for their welfare."

"I have spent the afternoon with my associates, and we have examined all of the information that was gathered by Colonel Jeffries and Sergeant Woodfern. They provided us with some interesting facts."

"I'm sorry. I am not aware of the details."

"Understandable."

"_Can we get to the decision already?"_

Travels the Frozen Tundra ignored my request.

"Perhaps I can read the transcripts."

"That would be wise. It will help you to understand these people."

"And I need to understand these people because…"

"Because you will be joining them. Nathan Downey was their leader. That is why I need to speak to him."

"He's listening."

The President stepped away from the table and around the General, so he was facing me. He looked me in the eyes.

"I am willing to grant your wish to allow your community to continue within the confines of the mountain."

I felt my heart speed up, and I stepped back and clutched at my chest. I did it. Not him. I was in control for that brief moment before Travels the Frozen Tundra regained the use of his limbs.

The President looked concerned by the look of surprise on my face.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"I'm—fine."

"You don't look fine. Should I call Fords Deep Water?"

Patricia stepped forward. "I think he was just overwhelmed by his host's emotions." She looked at me. "Right, Travels the Frozen Tundra?"

I shook my head in agreement. Again, this was me controlling him. I didn't want them to know that I had regained control for even a millisecond, or it could ruin everything.

"Take a seat, and I will continue."

Travels the Frozen Tundra regained his control and sat carefully in the seat behind him. Everyone else took a seat as well with the exception of the two soldiers who remained at ease at the door.

"Wanderer is a soul. It is apparent that she is in love with Ian, the human she met on the mountain. We considered placing a soul in him, but the effect it had on Wanderer was detrimental to her health and the baby she carries."

"_What happened to her?"_

"Mr. Downey wants to know what happened to her."

"Ah, yes, I forgot. You love you her, too."

"_I'll always love her."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra didn't acknowledge the President's statement.

"When Mr. O'Shea entered the room and Wanderer saw that he had been implanted, she had a breakdown."

"What kind of breakdown?" Travels the Frozen Tundra asked. It was the exact question that I would have asked had I been able to speak.

"The way it was explained to me is if she were human, it would be comparable to a heart attack."

"_What the hell is he talking about? She is human."_

"He's confused as am I. Was Wanderer not in her human host?"

"Yes, of course she was. It was the soul that had the break. She literally released all control of the host by retracting all of her connections. She was too weak to reconnect. Fords Deep Water had to remove her to heal the soul and then put her back into the body."

"_She could have died."_

"_You'd probably like that."_

"_Fuck you."_

"_I don't understand you."_

"_It means you're an idiot."_

"_No, I know what the words mean. I don't understand how you would not be happy to have a soul die. That would be one less you have to contend with."_

"_You really are emotionally retarded, aren't you?"_

"_I am strong. That is why I was chosen for this host."_

"Travels the Frozen Tundra?"

"I'm sorry. He's arguing with me."

"About what?"

He took a deep breath. "About my lack of understanding his love for her."

The General chuckled. "Read the manuscript. It will help you to understand."

The President continued. "Mr. Downey, it has come to my attention that Wanderer needs her husband in human form to keep her from self-destructing. For that reason, we have removed the soul from the host. He will return to the mountain as a human." He leaned forward just a bit. "You, on the other hand, will need to remain as you are."

"_Do I have a choice?"_

"He wants to know if he has a choice."

"I need you to help Travels the Frozen Tundra keep order within your community. He will report back to me periodically on the status of your little 'experiment.' You know these humans, and you can advise him on how to handle them."

"_They won't be happy when they see that I have been implanted."_

"He said they won't be happy when they me."

"I'm sure they won't. It will be up to you to make them understand."

"_And if I agree to this, what promise do you make to me?"_

"He wants to know what he gets out of this."

"You're alive."

"_You call this alive? I'm trapped in a prison."_

"He doesn't seem to be very happy with the present circumstances."

The president smiled. "Maybe you can convince Travels the Frozen Tundra to skip the way that your friend, what was her name?"

"_Melanie."_

"He says her name is Melanie."

"Right. Maybe Travels the Frozen Tundra will take pity on you and skip the way Melanie did."

"_Not a chance," _Travels the Frozen Tundra announced.

"_We shall see," _I countered.

As we left the meeting, I took in the fact that I would never be me again, and I was devastated. The fight left me, and I fell silent.

12


	80. Chapter 80

**Hi, guys! It seems the hiatus was just what I needed to get the juices flowing on my Nate story. I am on fire! I hope you understand that Nate's diary cannot begin with an entry into his diary as long as he is implanted because then Travels the Frozen Tundra would be able to read all of Nate's well kept secrets. So, until the time comes and Nate is his old self, the story will be a continuation without the diary.**

**Oh and BTW, if you leave an anonymous review and ask me a question, I can't really answer it, now can I? Just sayin'.**

A LEARNING EXPERIENCE

AFTER THE MEETING, Travels the Frozen Tundra returned to his prior meeting with the comforter, Patricia.

Patricia offered him a cup of tea. "Chamomile, it's supposed to soothe."

"Like No Pain?"

"No, it doesn't take away physical pain. It is meant to relax you."

"Oh." He took a sip of the tea. "It's hot."

"Yes, beverages here come in many consistencies and flavors. So does food. I imagine you will spend the next few weeks fascinated by the myriad of foods available to you." She laughed. "A lot of souls gain weight initially before they learn to eat moderately. Exercise programs are very popular among the earth community."

He took another sip of the tea.

"So, how is Nathan Downey taking the news?"

"He's very quiet."

"Perhaps he will accept his fate and eventually fade away."

"I was hoping to gain information before that happens."

I almost responded with a snide remark, but I thought better of it. After all, he would always have the upper hand. No, my only option was to remain quiet and protect my secrets.

"So, about that lust issue. I can help you with that."

"I don't think I want to think about it."

She rose from her seat and sat next to me. "I promise you it's better than chamomile tea."

"_Shit! She's going to seduce you!"_

She unbuttoned her blouse revealing a lavender bra. It wasn't as lacy as the ones Rachel chose to wear, but it was low cut, and her cleavage was deep.

"Do you like what you see?"

"_Yes!"_

"Um, is this customary on this planet?"

"I already told you that lust is a natural occurrence among the humans."

"You told me it could lead to love."

"Yes, I did."

"I don't even know what love is."

"It's feelings."

"Feelings?"

"Yes. Love is when you want to be with that person for the rest of your life. When you can't stop thinking about them."

"You mean the way my host feels about Wanderer?"

"Yes, I suppose."

"But I've seen his sadness. She loves Ian."

"Unrequited love is unfortunate, but you can't make someone love you."

"So if my lust for your breasts causes me to love you, and you don't reciprocate…"

"_Shut up, man! Just fuck her already! Sex is not love! It's satisfaction!"_

Patricia grabbed my hands and placed them upon her breasts.

"Do you like that?"

"_I do!"_

"I'm not sure."

"You are a very handsome human and from what I could tell earlier, you aren't exactly lacking in other areas."

She laid her hand in my lap.

"_Kiss her!"_

"_What?"_

"_Kiss her!"_

"_How?"_

I flashed a memory of kissing Wanda during the brief time when we were considered a couple.

"_Put your hand on her cheek and look into her eyes."_

He did as he was told.

"_Now kiss her."_

He leaned in, and Patricia reciprocated. He opened his mouth and bit down on her lip. She pulled back quickly.

"Ow!"

"_Oh, Jesus."_

"Did I do something wrong?"

"You bit me."

"_You're not supposed to bite, moron!"_

"Here, let me show you. Close your eyes. Don't move." She leaned in and caressed my lips with hers for about ten seconds before pulling back. "How was that?"

"It was nice."

"Do you want to try it again?"

"I don't know."

"_Are you out of your mind? This chick is throwing herself at you. Opportunities like this don't come along every day, you know."_

At that moment, Patricia's phone went off.

"Oh, dear. I didn't realize the late hour. I'm afraid we are going to have to cut this session short. They are expecting you for dinner."

"_I don't fucking believe this. You had your chance, and you blew it!"_

"_Can't you go back to just being silent?"_

"_Fine. No use arguing with an idiot."_

Patricia escorted us to the front of the building where two soldiers were waiting to escort me to dinner.

"Wait. Where is Ian?" Travels the Frozen Tundra asked. Ian had traveled with us on the prior trip.

"Mr. O'Shea has already left. We were waiting on you."

"I'm sorry I made you late. That was unprofessional of me," Patricia said.

"Please, we must hurry. I don't like being late."

We were silent in the car. I was quickly ushered to the dining room where it was obvious I was the last to arrive. To top it off, it seemed that I interrupted an important conversation.

"Sorry I'm late. I had a session with a comforter."

The President remained focused on Ian. "Mr. O'Shea, we have no intention on disposing of you."

"Why should I believe you?" he replied with anxiety.

I immediately noticed that Ian was again human. There was no sign of the seeker that had been previously implanted.

"Ian!" Wanda squeaked.

"Because I'm the President of the United States of America. That's why!" He was clearly aggravated.

Ian looked directly at me. "Then why didn't you take him out of Nate's body?"

"We have our reasons which we will discuss tomorrow at great length."

"I am a 'rogue'. Under your terms, if a rogue cannot support a soul, then it must be disposed of."

The President took a deep breath. "True. But that was before we had a reservation to send them to." He forced a smile.

"You're letting us live. You're letting us _all _live!" Wanda crooned.

"Yes, this is a celebration dinner."

Wanda threw her arms around Ian. "We did it!"

Even Travels the Frozen Tundra smiled as Wanda looked over at us. The elated expression on her face disappeared. "What about Nate?"

"This will be discussed tomorrow," the General declared.

"What about Nate?" she repeated.

Travels the Frozen Tundra spoke. "Nate has agreed to give himself up for the good of the cause."

"_Like I had a choice."_

Wanda's eyes filled with tears. "No!" She collapsed into Ian's arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry, Wanderer. I know you love him. He loves you, too; that's why he's doing this," Ian said as he tried to console her.

"I love you, Nate. I can't lose you," she croaked. The tears flowed freely.

My heart was breaking for her. I wanted to go to her and swallow her up in my arms. I remained silent in the hopes that Travels the Frozen Tundra might feel some kind of sympathy for my plight.

Everyone in the room observed her lament for a solid five minutes before the President finally asked Ian to take Wanda back to the room. Ian scooped her off of the chair just as Fords Deep Water entered the room.

"Is she all right?" He rushed over, obviously concerned for her welfare.

"No, she's very upset. Is there anything you can give her to calm her down? I mean that won't hurt the baby?"

"No. I'm sorry; there isn't."

Ian didn't speak another word. He carried her into the hall, and the room fell silent. Finally, the President spoke.

"I am sorry to see Wanderer hurting, but this is the only way I can assure that we have some kind of control over the humans on the mountain without incorporating a militant rule. When we made this decision, it was with the hope of allowing these humans to continue their life in the manner to which they have become accustomed."

As much as I hated to admit it, this was the best case scenario. I had told my people that I would do everything in my power to protect them, and unfortunately, this was the price I would have to pay to ensure that. I knew in the back of my head that there was a chance that this would happen. After all, I had played out all of the scenarios in my head, time and time again, since the day we captured Eli.

The food was served. Travels the Frozen Tundra remarked on the flavors he was experiencing for the first time. I let him have his moment. I remained quiet.

After dinner, I was returned to the compound. Instead of the barebones room I had been in previously, I was brought to a room that was furnished on the style of a mid-range hotel. The bed was a queen-size, and there was a flat screen TV as well as a mini bar filled with drinks and snacks. There was a note left by Patricia on the desk along with a CD and a cell phone.

It read: _I am at your disposal if you need me. I should advise you to shower. It is something most humans do every day. I hope Nathan Downey can help you to view the disc. If not, call me, and I will be happy to show you how to work the television. You really must watch the CD. It will give you a crash course in the ways of the humans. _

_To call me, just push the button on the side of the phone. When it turns on, press the button that looks like a phone, and then, when the numbers come up, push the following sequence 775-7506. Then push send. _

_Sincerely,_

_Patricia_

"_I don't suppose you feel like helping me here."_

I opted not to answer him.

He picked up the phone. He read the instructions again and attempted to turn on the phone. When he finally found the button that turned the phone on, the screen was locked. He couldn't get it to work. I started to laugh.

"_What's so funny?"_

"_You're never going to get it to work."_

"_So you say."_

"_Let me know when you give up."_

He spent several minutes reading and rereading the instructions, turning the phone on and off, but never getting past the locked screen. Finally, he tossed the phone on the desk.

"_Need my help?"_

"_No!"_

"_Suit yourself."_

He lay down on the bed.

"_Aren't you going to take a shower?"_

He didn't answer me. Instead, he lay there staring at the ceiling. Finally, he sat up. He looked out the window at the night sky. Then he lay back down. It took a while before I realized his dilemma.

"_You don't know what a shower is, do you?"_

"_Shut up."_

I laughed long and hard.

"_You think this is easy?"_

"_I think if you gave me control, I could do all the things you seem to be incapable of doing."_

"_Not a chance."_

He closed his eyes.

We were jolted awake by a knock on the door. It was morning. The sun was shining through the window. Travels the Frozen Tundra rose from the bed, still dressed in yesterday's clothes, including his shoes.

He answered the door to find Patricia standing in the hall.

"Good morning!" she said with a smile. "May I come in?"

Travels the Frozen Tundra stepped back, allowing her to enter.

"So," she said as she stepped into the room. "I didn't hear from you. I guess everything is going okay?"

She was wearing a light blue dress that was just short enough to show off her legs. She was wearing a matching pair of strappy sandals, the exact kind that would make a guy turn around and watch her as she walked.

He stared at her.

"Are you all right?"

"I couldn't work the phone," he muttered.

"You didn't watch the video?"

"I didn't watch anything."

She stopped and looked at him long and hard. "Did you take a shower?"

"I…"

"Oh, my. I never should have abandoned you. I just assumed…"

"_She assumed I'd be there to help you—and I would have if you had just admitted that you need me."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra picked up the cell phone and turned to Patricia.

"I followed your directions, but it doesn't work, see?"

He turned on the phone and pushed the phone sign to no avail.

"It's locked. It says swipe to unlock," Patricia pointed out.

"I don't know what swipe means. My input on language while I was in cryo tank didn't include that word that I can remember."

She touched his forearm. "I'm sorry. It's really simple." She swiped the screen and unlocked it. "See?"

"I'm so stupid," he lamented.

"You're not stupid. I'm stupid for assuming you would be all right. It's just that you seemed so…"

"Stubborn?"

"Prepared."

He sighed deeply.

"Look, no soul comes into this life completely prepared. And you don't have the luxury of Nathan Downey's memories because he is a rogue. Rogues are dangerous. That's why they are disposed of. You were chosen for this assignment because of your strengths."

"My strength doesn't seem to be making a difference."

"Believe me; your strength is making all the difference. A lesser soul would have lost control by now." She took his hands in hers. "Let me help you."

He didn't answer her.

She pulled him toward the bathroom. "This is the shower. You turn the water on here. After you pull this pin, you can get in." She turned the nozzle and then pulled the pin allowing the shower to rain down. "When you're done, just push the pin back down and turn off the water. I'll be waiting in the other room for you while you shower."

She left the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Travels the Frozen Tundra did exactly as he was told. He turned on the water and pulled the pin. The water rained down just as it had when Patricia pulled the pin, but then he stepped into the shower shoes, clothes, and all!

"_What are you doing!" _I bellowed.

"_I'm showering."_

"_You are supposed to take your clothes off!"_

"_I am?"_

"_Yes, the purpose of taking a shower is to wash the stink off of your body. Body odor can be very offensive to humans."_

"_Oh." _He pushed the pin down and shut off the water. _"What should I do?"_

"_First, you have to remove your wet clothes. Put them in the sink. You do know what a sink is, don't you?"_

"_Of course I know what a sink is. I wash my hands in the sink after I use the toilet."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra removed the wet clothes from my body and placed them in the sink.

"_Now start again. I'll give you a memory to go on." _I allowed a memory from my arsenal to slip through from the mountain. I was in the shower, and I was washing myself when suddenly the shower curtain opened and in popped Victoria. She was long and lean and most importantly, naked.

"_What is with you?" _Travels the Frozen Tundra scolded.

"_Hey, this is all I've got left. Victoria and I had a very nice little relationship going until she fell in love with me."_

"_Lust leads to love."_

"_Right and love leads to jealousy."_

"_I know what jealousy means. Why was she jealous?"_

"_Forget it. You're not getting into my head. Just wash your body." _I let my memory play through. Victoria washed my hair, and my hands traveled the length of her slender body. I began to play with her nipples. She leaned in and kissed me, and I pulled her close. As I let the water rain down upon me and rinse the shampoo out of my hair, Victoria used the soap to wash my genitals. It felt good. My dick liked it, too. I didn't realize it, but Travels the Frozen Tundra was enjoying the memory as well. He was working himself into a pretty good lather. He closed his eyes and became one with my memory.

"_That's it; stroke it. You like that, don't you?"_

He didn't answer me. He continued to beat off. When he suddenly ejaculated, he shocked himself. The endorphins in his brain affected me as well.

"_What is that stuff?"_

"_That is sperm."_

"_I know what sperm is. It is what fertilizes a female's eggs in order to procreate."_

"_Yes."_

"_But there is no female here."_

"_Doesn't matter, ejaculating feels good. It's even better with a female."_

"_Thank you."_

"_For what?"_

"_For the lesson in ejaculating."_

"_Yeah, I wouldn't go announcing that to Patricia."_

"_Why?"_

"_I think she wanted to give you that lesson."_

"_Why do you think that?"_

"_She likes you—me—us. Why do you think she's wearing that hot little blue number?"_

"_Number?"_

"_It's slang for a sexy dress."_

"_Slang?"_

"_Slang is using unrelated words to describe something. A hot number is a sexy outfit…in this case, the short blue dress she's wearing today."_

"_Yesterday, you said check out her tatas. Is that slang, too?"_

"_Yes, it means her breasts. Men don't have breasts, so we think women's breasts are very sexy."_

"_I have a lot to learn, don't I?_

"_You have no idea."_

There was a knock on the door. "Are you all right in there?"

Travels the frozen Tundra turned off the shower. "Yes. I'm done showering. What should I do now?"

"There's a robe on the back of the door. Put it on, and I'll give you some clean clothes to wear."

"Why am I putting on the robe if I am going to wear the clothes you have?"

"It's not…" Travels the Frozen Tundra swung the door open still dripping with all our glory hanging out for Patricia to see. "Oh! My!" Her face was bright red. "Um—here are your clothes." She held out a clean set of clothing for him to put on.

He took the clothes and stood motionless.

"You need to put them on," she instructed.

"I'm not sure I know how to," he replied.

"Give me your clothes," she said. He gave her back the clothes. "Follow me."

He followed her into the bedroom. "Sit," she ordered. She was obviously uncomfortable with the task at hand. She held up a pair of boxers. "These are your underwear. You put them on like this." She held them upright and place one foot in the hole and then the other. She pulled them up to her knees. "You pull them all the way up to here." She drew a line with her hand to indicate her waist line. "Now you try." She handed the boxers back to Travels the Frozen Tundra and stood with her arms folded across her chest.  
>I couldn't be sure if she was staring at my package because I couldn't see her eyes. He was too busy concentrating on what he was doing to focus on her.<p>

"_This is comical."_

"_Shut up."_

"_Don't be mad at me."_

"_If you were a normal host, I would be able to access all of your memories, and this wouldn't be an issue."_

"_The way I see it, if you weren't implanted in my head, I'd still be me."_

He stood up as he pulled the boxers up and over his private parts.

"Good!" she replied with a sigh of relief.

She continued to show him how to put on the rest of his clothes explaining that shirts can be pullover or button down. She explained with great difficulty that a humans genitals are generally covered unless the person is either alone or about to have sex with another.

"_I sleep in the raw," _I exclaimed.

"_What does that mean?"_

"_It's another one of those slang statements. It means I sleep with no clothes on." _

"Nathan Downey says that he sleeps with no clothes on. Is that wrong?"

"No. It's not wrong to sleep in the nude. Some prefer it, but most wear pajamas or sleep in their underwear."

"Okay."

"I want you to sit down. You really need to watch this video. It's pretty long, but it will go over a lot of things humans learn at a young age that you have not been exposed to."

"Like showering?"

"Yes, showering is in the video."

"Okay."

"I'm going to see about getting some breakfast for us. Will you be okay by yourself?"

"Yes."

"You know how to dial my number on the cell phone?"

"Yes."

"_Do you want me to tie your shoe?" _I said in a mocking tone.

"_That's not funny."_

"_She's treating you like a child."_

"_I don't know how to tie my shoes."_

The irony made me burst out laughing.

The video was boring. It resembled those movies we watched in gym class that taught you all the bad things about smoking marijuana. It looked like it was made in the sixties, but it wasn't. The souls were just so boring; they reminded me of a throwback to a much more innocent time. I decided I'd rather take a nap. I made sure my memory wall was tight, and I took a little snooze.

By the time I came to, Patricia had returned, and they had eaten breakfast. Travels the Frozen Tundra had finished the video. He and Patricia were talking about sports. She was explaining to him that the human's version of football was no longer played because of the violence involved. It had been modified to a version we had all played as kids—flag football. She said in her opinion, it was still a violent game because the players still had to block each other, especially on the front line. He asked her to put the game back on, and she heeded his wishes. Apparently, a game was on when she showed him how to work the TV. She tried to explain the game to him as it was played, but she really didn't have a clue.

"_She has no idea what she's talking about."_

"_You should keep quiet unless you want to be helpful."_

"_Hey, I'm the one who told you to take your clothes off in the shower."_

"_You might have told me before I got in."_

"_How was I supposed to know that you didn't understand the concept of a shower?"_

"_Or nudity. You might have warned me."_

"_I'm built like a stallion. Believe me, she was impressed."_

"_Again, I have no idea what you are talking about."_

"_Look at her breasts. Do you like them?"_

"_I suppose." _

I shot him a memory of Victoria, Rachel, and Gina doing their little dance for me on my birthday. Each was scantily clad. I followed that with a memory of me licking Gina's beautiful nipples.

"_Must you do that?"_

"_Patricia's breasts aren't as big as Gina's, but they are definitely worthy of a little slap and tickle."_

"_Slap and tickle. Is that another one of your slang statements?"_

Patricia's phone beeped just as it had yesterday. She checked the screen.

"There's a car waiting for you downstairs."

"_Here we go."_

"Will you be here when I get back?"

"Do you think you'll need me?"

"Wanderer was very upset yesterday. I don't think she likes me."

"_Ya think?"_

"Remember, you are a seeker. You are strong. I'll be here in the hotel. Call me if you need me. You remember how to use the phone?"

"Yes."

Patricia walked Travels the Frozen Tundra downstairs to the front door. She patted his forearm. "You'll be fine."

The ride to the building where we had met the president was becoming familiar. I had only been to Washington D.C. once in my life when I was a kid. I didn't remember much from the trip, and I dug deep in my memories to come up with something. I came up with my mother. She was holding my hand as we walked toward the capital building. That was when I realized I had unwittingly released a memory. It was a harmless memory, but I was angry that I had let myself slip.

We entered the dining hall. Wanda was not there, and neither was Ian.  
>President Halsden was also missing. Colonel Jeffries and Sergeant Woodfern were both present as was Fords Deep Water. He approached me and asked how I was doing. He seemed particularly interested in Travels the Frozen Tundra's state of mind.<p>

"Is Nathan Downey still present?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Is he strong?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"You know. Is he verbal? Does he show fear?"

"He's very—cocky."

"Cocky." He placed his hand on his chin and mulled over the word. "Sounds like you've got your work cut out for you."

He walked away.

"Excuse me, what do you mean by that?"

"Nothing, really. It's just that I've seen first hand what a rogue can do to a soul."

At that moment, the door opened, and Wanda and Ian entered.

Fords Deep Water abandoned us and approached Wanda. "How are you feeling today?" he asked.

"A lot better. I had a good night's sleep, and I was happy to be in the arms of my husband."

"Good. After lunch, they are going to meet with all of you to discuss the conditions of the community. I will be here just in case. I also want you to know that in a few weeks, I intend to visit you." He pulled Wanda aside and continued the conversation in private. I wondered if he had figured out that Wanda was indeed Wanderer, the soul.

Travels the Frozen Tundra wandered over to the buffet. He seemed overwhelmed by the choices.

"_Try the turkey club," _I suggested.

He reached for a sandwich. _"This one?"_

"_It's my favorite."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra sat next to Sergeant Woodfern and ate his food. I noticed that Wanda avoided conversation with me. As a matter of fact, she avoided any eye contact as well.

There was a man here today that I had not seen before. Wanderer seemed to know him. She sat next to him and conversed with him at the opposite end of the table.

As we finished our lunch, President Halsden entered, and the meeting began. Ian pulled a chair in front of him and set it sideways. He had Wanda sit in front of him, and he wrapped his arms around her waist placing his hands across her belly.

The President addressed the cozy couple. "Mr. and Mrs. O'Shea, are you comfortable?"

Ian answered. "We're good."

"Mr. Hollister. It's nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about your work with the shuttle crafts." He walked to the man and shook his hand.

"Thank you, sir. It's good to meet you as well."

The lightbulb went off in my head. He was Ember Hollister! He was the soul that Wanda claimed was Pet's father. Wanda reached out and held his hand. Did he know that Pet was no longer in that body?

The President took a deep breath. "Okay, let's get this meeting started. Last night ended badly. Even after all that, General Blue Flame, Colonel Jeffries, and I stayed up late hammering out the terms of this community you wish to establish."

Ian raised his hand. "Sir, the community is already established."

"I understand. Allow me to continue."

"Sorry."

"As was indicated yesterday, we need a soul who can travel back and forth regularly to represent the community. Your friend, Nate, is now sharing his host body with a Seeker, Travels the Frozen Tundra. I know this is difficult for both of them to endure. Having said that, Nate has agreed to give himself as host for the good of the community."

Travels the Frozen Tundra looked directly at Wanda. Tears filled her eyes. Ian leaned forward, put his chin on her shoulder, and whispered something to her. She wiped away a tear that trickled down her cheek.

"Are you okay, Mrs. O'Shea?" the President asked.

She nodded her head in silence.

He continued, "I don't know how long Nate will remain in the conscious mind. It could be a week or it could be forever. No matter what, we are grateful to him for his sacrifice."

Wanda put her hands over her face and began to cry. "It's not fair!"

Ian was up and out of his seat and kneeling in front of her in seconds.

"Shh...Shh...Shh…Babydoll. Look at me. Shake it off. Okay?"

I immediately understood what he was doing. He needed to be in control. If he couldn't prove that Wanda's love for him super ceded all else, he could be in grave danger of losing his life.

"_Come on, Wanda. Pull it together,"_ I said to myself.

"I'm okay. I can cry later," she said bravely.

"Good girl." He kissed her briefly on the lips; then he got up and returned to his spot behind her.

"Mr. O'Shea."

"Yes, sir?"

"You will replace Nate as the head human at the community. You will be responsible to make sure the other humans stay in line. You can appoint a task force if you like, and they can be made up of humans or souls. That's your choice."

"Thank you, sir."

"As for the land, I am told that Burns Living Flowers owns the land you currently inhabit. The surveyors were hired by the company that bought the adjoining land from his father eight years ago. I have contacted this company, and the government is willing to buy this land back. This will give you another twenty acres of land to live on. It's a total of four square miles. It's not much."

"It's plenty," Ian commented.

"You say that now, but as more humans trickle into your community, you will find yourself crowded before you know it."

"How many humans are out there?" Ian asked.

"You'd be very surprised," the Colonel responded.

I felt giddy. Not only were we going to be allowed to live on the mountain, but we had been given the promise that our community would grow. I completely forgot that I was a prisoner in my own head.

Mr. Hollister spoke up. "Sir, if I may?"

"Yes, Mr. Hollister?"

"I would like to research the land surrounding the existing community, and if it is possible, I would like to purchase some of that land and donate it to the cause."

"Oh Daddy! Thank you!" Wanda cried out.

"You're welcome my Pet… er I mean Wanderer." He smiled. "That's going to take some getting used to."

"I understand." She kissed him on the cheek.

So, my question was answered. He was aware that Pet was no longer in the host that he called his daughter, and yet, he accepted her just the same.

Ian raised his hand again.

"Mr. O'Shea. You have another comment?"

"Actually, it's a question."

"Go ahead."

"I am in the process of building a home for my impending family. Many others are in the cave. It is cramped in there. Can we get the supplies to continue to build on the land?"

"Absolutely."

"Our biggest obstacle has been power. We are running a ton of electricity off of one line."

The President addressed the Colonel. "Colonel Jeffries, can you make that happen?"

"Yes, sir."

Wanda raised her hand.

"Mrs. O'Shea. What can we do for you?"

"It's not for me. Most of these humans haven't seen a dentist in over six years. Can you provide a dentist for these people?"

"I will get Colonel Jeffries right on it." He paused. "Colonel Jeffries will be your liaison for all of your needs."

Ian spoke up. "Will we be under lock and key?"

"This is a difficult decision for us. You have been there for the last several years, and you have never given anyone in the area any trouble. We checked with the police department. As a matter of fact, it seems that you have actually been helpful in getting other rogue humans out of the area and into your community. Therefore, it would make sense to not enforce unnecessary military presence. However, I have been advised by General Blue Flame to establish some sort of presence."

Of all the people in this room, the one I trusted the least was General Blue Flame. I felt that if it was up to him, this whole experiment would have been scrubbed in favor of our destruction. It was at that moment that I resigned myself to helping Travels the Frozen Tundra to be a valued member of the team.

"So, we have decided that we will place a post on the road somewhere between the entrance of the community and the town to make sure no one gets through who shouldn't. It is for your protection. We wouldn't want curious people or troublemakers barging onto the land. I see no need for an enclosure at this time."

"Can the souls still come and go as they please?" Ian asked.

"I don't see any reason why they can't. As you have indicated, they are a vital part of the community, and they are the only ones who can go into society without fear of being seen."

Wanda again raised her hand. "I would like to suggest that we name our community rather than call it 'the community'."

"I see by the look on your face that you already have a name in mind."

"Yes. I would like to propose that we name it 'Downey'." She looked directly at Travels the Frozen Tundra. "Nate, you will always…" She stopped abruptly. Ian rubbed her arms in an effort to keep her from breaking down.

"Go ahead," he encouraged.

She took a deep ragged breath. "You will always be the leader, and it would make me very happy to call our town 'Downey'. You've never said no to me before."

"_Oh my God. How can I let down such a perfect woman? Wanda, I love you so very much," _I croaked. Travels the Frozen Tundra spoke. "Mrs. O'Shea, Nate says that he knows how much you love him, and he would be honored to have the town named after him. He said…" His voice croaked. "He says—I love you very much."

"I love you, too." She stood up. "I have to go." She sprinted for the door.

"Wanderer?" Ian called.

"I'm sorry, Ian. I tried. I really did." She bolted out of the room.

Ian got up to follow, but Mr. Hollister stopped him. "Let me handle this."

"But…"

"You're too close. She needs a fresh perspective," he said with authority.

"She needs a break from all this," Fords Deep Water announced.

"Watch over her for me?" Ian requested as he sat back down.

"Of course." Mr. Hollister left the room. I wished that I could speak. I felt guilty that Wanda was taking my implantation with such difficulty.

Ian looked over at me. There was pain in his face.

"_Say something!" _I pleaded.

"_What am I supposed to say?"_

"_How about I'm sorry?"_

"_What am I sorry about?"_

"_For making her cry."_

"_I didn't make her cry."_

"_If you expect me to be helpful to you, you need to at least throw me a bone once in a while."_

"_Throw you a bone?"_

"_It means you could at least do right by me and give me this one little request."_

"_Fine." _Travels the Frozen Tundra stood up and approached Ian. He stopped in front of the chair where Ian was seated. "Nate says he is sorry."

"_You idiot. I'm not sorry, you are!"_

"_But I'm not sorry."_

"Why is Nate sorry? He's given up everything for the good of the clan."

Travels the Frozen Tundra shrugged and walked back to his seat.

I was so angry at his belligerence. According to the colonel, we were going back to the mountain tomorrow. I crawled into a corner of my brain and shut down. I needed to prepare myself for the emotional onslaught I would have to face.

14


	81. Chapter 81

NOT MUCH OF A WELCOME

After the meeting, we left Ian behind as we headed back to the hotel. It seems that Wanda and Mr. Hollister were nowhere to be found, and Ian was waiting for her. He wasn't very happy about his wife's disappearance, but the colonel assured him that she was in no danger and would return subsequently.

When we returned to the hotel room, my wet shoes and clothes were not in the sink. There was a note on the desk from Patricia explaining that she sent the clothes to be cleaned and threw away the shoes. She said she was going to purchase a new pair and would return shortly. She ended the note with an invitation to dinner.

When she returned, Travels the Frozen Tundra tried to weasel out of the invitation citing he didn't want to take up her time unnecessarily, but she insisted. It was clear to me that she was very interested in my body. I mean, it couldn't be his personality. He had none.

Dinner was a bore. She did all the talking. Travels the Frozen Tundra had nothing to say. He merely voiced that he was worried about returning to the mountain people considering that Wanda had become so emotional yet again. She offered words of encouragement. I wanted to throw up. When we returned to the hotel, Patricia tried very hard to get an invite to the room, but Travels the Frozen Tundra yawned. It would have been a great ploy to ditch her had he had the mind to, but unfortunately the yawn was real. It had been a long day filled with new experiences for him, and he was tired.

Travels the Frozen Tundra woke early and took a shower. He took his time dressing. We were both quiet. When the military escort arrived, we were whisked off for one last meeting with General Blue Flame. Wanda and Ian were already there when we arrived.

Ian was instructed to treat Travels the Frozen Tundra as he would treat Nathan Downey. A preliminary list of items we would need was drawn up for Colonel Jeffries. We were fed a light breakfast and ushered onto a military transport shuttle bound for home. Colonel Jeffries and his cohort, Sergeant Woodfern accompanied us. During the flight, we were served lunch. The seats in the shuttle faced each other to make for easy conversation. Every time my eyes met Wanda's, she glared at me. I knew her evil stares were not meant for me personally. Finally, Travels the Frozen Tundra couldn't take it anymore, so he addressed her.

"You know, I didn't ask for this assignment. Did you ask to be put into Melanie Stryder's body?"

"No. But I asked to be taken out," she countered.

"You skipped," he said dryly.

"Because I love her."

"If it makes you feel any better, I am taking the name Nathan Downey."

"It doesn't. You'll never be Nate. He is good and kind and smart, and I love him. I hate you."

"_Oh, boy."_

"_You said it."_

"_I have to admit it feels good to know she really does love me."_

"_How am I going to be able to face the other humans if I can't even get a soul to help me?"_

I thought for a moment about my resolution to help him be a success for the sake of my family. _"Tell her that I was hoping she would help the others to accept you. Tell her, at least, Ian won't have to worry about me and her anymore."_

He did respond.

"_Tell her!" _I goaded.

He finally found the courage to speak to her. "That's too bad. Nate was hoping you would help the others to accept me. He says Ian should be happy that he can't disrupt your relationship anymore."

Ian sat forward. "Nate, you think I'm afraid of a little competition? And you, Travels the Frozen Tundra, let me tell you something. I would rather have Nate, the human; kiss my wife every single day than to deal with the likes of you." He paused. "Nate, you hear me? I just gave you a reason to come back. I've never known you not to accept a challenge."

"_Damn it!"_

Travels the Frozen Tundra replied, "He hears you loud and clear."

The Colonel walked down the aisle. "Are we having a problem here?"

"Nope," Ian said emphatically.

When the Colonel walked away, Wanda left her seat next to Ian and sat next to me. "Nate, I know you remember the conversation we had about your obsession with me. Keep your promise. Do you hear me?"

The new Nate spoke. "Stop it Wanderer, go back to your husband."

"You may call me Mrs. O'Shea," she hissed.

She got up and stormed off to the bathroom.

"_You are heartless, you know that?"_

After a few minutes, Ian went to the bathroom door and coaxed her out. He held her in his arms for the rest of the trip. No one spoke as we traveled in the car to the mountain.

As we pulled up, it was obvious that the house was unusually quiet. There was no sign of people milling about or the back door slamming like it did when people entered or left the house. Ian borrowed the Sergeant's cell phone and used it to call Burns.

"Hey Buddy…Yes, we're back…There's good news and bad news…I think you should bring Kyle and Ice with you. No one else yet…Okay…I'll see you in a few."

We entered the house, and it was empty except for Maria, Kim, and Aunt Sue, who were in the kitchen cooking. When they heard us come in, Maria poked her head through the door of the kitchen to investigate.

"They're back!" she cried.

Kim came out immediately and rushed to me. When she saw my eyes, she stopped in horror.

"Nate. Why?" she wailed.

"_Who is she?"_

"_That's my sister."_

"_Great."_

Ian went to Kim to try and console her. Wanda was sitting in a chair, and she was crying again.

"He made the choice to save us all. He is a hero," Ian conveyed to her as best he could.

"I don't want a hero. I want my brother back!" she lamented. "Why didn't they take you?"

"They did," he replied.

"But you are human."

"I don't know exactly why they removed the Seeker. Maybe I was too strong, and the Seeker didn't want to be in my head. I don't know. I wouldn't accept the Seeker, and Nate for his own reasons has. He's still in there. You can talk to him."

Kim turned toward Wanda as she sat sniveling on the couch.

"Is it true? Is he still there?"

"He is…for now…but he has no control over his body, and that includes speech. He hears us though," she croaked.

Kim turned toward me. "Nate, if you're in there, talk to me. Remember when we were kids? Tell me something about our childhood."

"I can't," the new Nate replied.

"What do you mean, you can't? I thought my brother was in there?"

"He is, but he's blocking all of his memories. He's obviously protecting something. The only thing I see is Wanderer."

"That's Mrs. O'Shea to you!" Wanda growled.

"_You could help by giving me a memory."_

"_I'm sorry. Ian is right, his host gave him up because he couldn't control him."_

"They are talking to each other," Wanda announced.

"How do you know?" Kim asked.

"I just know."

At that moment, Burns entered with Kyle, Ice, and Victoria in tow.

Ian blocked me from being seen by the others. "I told you to bring Kyle and Ice. Why is she with you?" he said, referring to Victoria.

Wanda got up out of her chair and moved swiftly toward me. She grabbed me and pulled me into the kitchen.

"Why did you do that?" Travels the Frozen Tundra asked.

"Because Victoria was carrying a gun."

We could hear the commotion in the living room. Victoria obviously was not thrilled about giving up her weapon. After a few minutes, Ian came in with Victoria's gun in hand.

"You can take him back to the living room now."

"I'm not going," Wanda protested.

"Wanderer, he needs you!" Ian insisted.

"I don't want to be a part of that scene. She'll probably put the blame on me."

"Wanderer, I'm _not_ going to beg you to do this. It's an order," Ian hissed.

She glared at Ian.

He continued. "Hate me if you want to, but if Nate can make the sacrifice he has made for us, then it is our duty to keep these people from destroying what he has worked for. Do this for Nate."

Ian was right. We needed to keep the population under control. Victoria was one of our biggest concerns. I probably would have told Wanda the same thing.

Wanda walked briskly past Ian and through the door to the living room. She walked directly up to Victoria.

"I want you to know that I had nothing to do with this, and I hate this whole thing," she announced.

She then turned to the Colonel and Sergeant, who had been standing in the background observing the scene as it unfolded.

"If you needed a soul, you could have used me."

"You said you wanted to be a wife and mother," the Colonel replied.

Her face showed the obvious shock she was feeling. "You mean this is _my_ fault?"

Ian walked up behind her and rubbed his hands over her arms. "No, this is _not_ your fault."

She ripped herself away from Ian and ran out the back door.

"God Damn it!" Ian bellowed. He scanned the room. "Sergeant Woodfern, would you please go after her and make sure she gets home?"

"You want me to go?" Burns asked.

"No, I need you here."

Victoria ignored all the commotion and walked up to Travels the Frozen Tundra.

"You're dead," she growled.

The entire contingent in the room turned immediately toward Victoria.

"Victoria!" Ian blurted out. "If you kill the soul, you will kill Nate. He is in there. As long as I know he is there, I know there is still hope."

"Hope for what?" she hissed.

"Hope that maybe, just maybe, Travels the Frozen Tundra will decide he is not happy living as Nathan Downey and gives up the host in favor of another."

The door opened and Maria walked in. She had been crying. "That's never going to happen, and you know it."

"It happened for Melanie."

"That is because Wanda is a kind soul. I don't think this…thing…"

"His name is Travels the Frozen Tundra, but he prefers to be called Nate."

"He's not Nate. I won't call him that," she said flatly, and she pushed past him and went to the kitchen.

"_Who was that?" _Travels the Frozen Tundra asked.

"_My mother died. She was her best friend and has become like a mother to me."_

"_This is just getting better and better. Is your father on this mountain?"_

"_No, my mother raised me. Look, I'm sorry, but you have to understand, I was the leader here for a reason. This is my family, some of them by blood."_

Burns stepped forward. "Nate, I am truly sorry. I wish there was a way to change what has happened. Please, I beg of you, don't give up. Never give up."

"_I won't."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra didn't respond.

"_Tell him that I won't give up."_

"_I can't tell him that."_

"_Then everyone will hate you."_

"_They hate me now."_

"_They hate you because you are not giving them anything to cling to. I know I am doomed to remain inside my own head, but they can believe that I have hope. Give them that. In time, they'll get to know you and accept you, and I'll probably fade away."_

My own words gave me great fear. I really didn't want to give up—ever, but I couldn't predict whether or not time would wear on me until I would give up the fight.

"He says…" Travels the Frozen Tundra paused as if debating whether or not to tell them. "He says he is here, and he loves you all. He says he'll never give up."

"That's bullshit. I don't believe he's even in there," Victoria blurted out.

"_Tell her my nickname for her is Xena."_

"Nate said he calls you Xena."

"Everyone knows he calls me Xena. Ian could have told you that. He's gone, and you are just feeding off of his memories."

"_Sam Eggleston."_

Victoria turned to leave.

"Sam Eggleston!" Travels the Frozen Tundra blurted out.

Victoria stopped in her tracks and slowly spun to face him.

"How dare you!"

He took a defensive stance. "I don't even know what it means. He told me to say it!"

"What do you mean you don't know what it means?"

"He's blocked all of his memories. I only get the few he allows me to see."

"So you don't know about our relationship?" she asked.

Travels the Frozen Tundra blushed.

"You _do _know," she said as a matter of fact.

"I…" he swallowed hard. "I only know about the things he uses to torture me."

"He uses me to torture you?"

"It's more like taunting. He says I'll never get someone like you to care about me."

"You got that right." She got up close and looked deep into his eyes. "Nate, if you're in there, I don't want you to give up. We'll get that mother out of you even if I have to do it myself."

"Victoria," Ian warned. "We have to think of the community."

"Can I have my gun back, please?"

"No, I don't think you can."

"I'm not gonna shoot Nate. I love him. Now if you'd just give me back my gun, I'd like to go back to my post."

"Someone else can take your place," Ian said adamantly.

"I still want my gun back," she insisted.

"_She wants to go into the woods for target practice. It calms her down."_

"Nate says to give her the gun."

"She could shoot you, you know," Ian pointed out.

"_She won't."_

"He said he doesn't believe that she will. He said she is going to the woods."

"Try and follow me," she countered.

Ian pulled the gun from his waistband and handed it to Victoria. She checked to see if there were still bullets in the chamber, and then she raised the gun and aimed it at me. Everyone in the room gasped.

"Bang," she said. Then she turned and left the house.

"Holy shit," Colonel Jeffries said. "I thought you were a goner."

Travels the Frozen Tundra swallowed hard. "You and me, both."

"_I knew she wouldn't do it; not as long as there was a remote chance that I am in here. She and I have a history since the day she came to this mountain."_

Burns took a deep breath. "Okay. I guess you'll have to live here with me, since Nate's room is in the cave, and souls are not allowed in the cave."

"Not ever?" Travels the Frozen Tundra asked.

"Well, Wanderer has been there as well as I, but under the present circumstances, the humans are pretty leery of all of the souls these days—including me."

"You own this land."

"Since the day I met Nate and he saved my life, I haven't thought of this as my land."

"Wait. I thought you saved his life," Ian interjected.

"Technically, I saved his life when he broke his leg and fell into that hole, but he saved my life. He and his family gave me a reason to live again."

Maria stuck her head out the kitchen door. "Dinner will be ready in a half hour. I suggest you figure out a plan to tell the others."

Ian stepped up. "I don't want to spring this on them during dinner. I'm going to go to the cave and attempt to prepare them. Burns, I want you to come with me."

"But I don't know if they'll let me in."

"I'm the leader now. You have been there for them for seven years. They'll let you in, God damn it!"

"Okay, if you insist," Burns replied.

"Ice, help Travels, I mean Nate get settled here at the house. We'll meet you in the gameroom for dinner."

"Will do, boss," Ice replied.

"We are going to settle into our camp as well," the Colonel exclaimed. "We'll meet you back here in a half hour."

Everyone went on their way. Travels the Frozen Tundra spent the next half hour getting settled into his new digs and questioning Ice about his capture and subsequent arrival to the mountain. Ice was eager to talk about his plight since he still maintained that it was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Since they had both spent time on the Mists Planet, they also talked about their lives there and marveled at the fact that they had stumbled upon Rides the Beast. They seemed to be getting along great, which I suppose was lucky for him because Ice wasn't one to judge. He was still more soul in temperament than human.

Ice was the one who stood by my side when I entered the game room, and the rest of the family got a good look at me. They had already been informed by Ian at the meeting, and a lot of the clan members opted not to eat dinner. Noticeably missing were Wanda, Victoria, Gina, and Maria, my sister, and my niece. Those who did attend generally stared but had no words to say to me with the exception of Jamie. He finished his dinner and walked right up to Travels the Frozen Tundra.

"Hi. My name is Jamie. I don't know if they told you, but I was the first one to make friends with Wanda. She spent a lot of her time trying not to get killed. I told them that Melanie was in there with her. Melanie is my sister. They didn't believe me at first, but I didn't care. She was my friend, and she still is. Even though they took her out of Melanie, we all still loved Wanda, too. I even picked out her new body."

"I see," Travels the Frozen Tundra replied.

"Yep. Everyone likes it. Maybe if you decide that you want to give Nate his body back, I can find a new host for you."

"If I ever decide to give Nate his body back, you'll be the first to know."

"Cool," he said with a smile, and he went on his way.

"_You know Jamie's just a kid. He still holds a lot of optimism."_

"_There's nothing wrong with optimism."_

"_There is when you know damn well that you are not about to give me back my body."_

"_He doesn't have to know that."_

"_You're giving him false hope."_

"_Isn't that what you did?"_

"_I never gave them false hope. I told them all that I would do everything in my power to keep the community from being destroyed, and I have done that."_

"_And how does it feel to be a martyr?"_

"_Funny. You don't know what a shower is, yet you know what martyr means."_

"_That's because the description for shower is a brief and usually light fall of rain, snow, or sleet."_

"_That's only one definition."_

"_You mean words have more than one definition?"_

"_Duh!"_

"_What is duh?"_

"_You know you may be strong, but you definitely not the brightest crayon in the box."_

"_I hate when you do that."_

"_Good—and for your information, it sucks being a martyr. I'd much rather be in control of my body because I don't enjoy making all the women who love me cry."_

"_All those women love you?"_

"_In one way or another, yes."_

"_But love leads to jealousy which leads to violence."_

"_Humans have real emotions. It's what makes us interesting. Souls for the most part are incredibly boring. It's not until they get a human in their lives that they actually live."_

"_So you say."_

"_I'll bet that Wanda was boring before she met the humans at the caverns."_

"_Caverns? I thought she was brought here to the mountain?"_

Shit. I needed to back paddle and fast.

"_Cavern is another word for cave. When she first came, we kept her there. We couldn't just let her roam loose on the mountain."_

"_So, she was a prisoner?"_

"_You know what? You need to read the manuscript from our meeting with Colonel Jeffries and Sergeant Woodfern—or you could just ask  
>Wanda. She's not ashamed to tell her story."<em>

"_She's not about to tell me anything."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra marched over to Colonel Jeffries and asked if he could get a copy of the manuscript. He followed them back to camp where he received the requested copy, and he went back to the house and retired to his room where he could read it. I decided to leave him alone in his reading. I couldn't afford to make another stupid mistake.

In the morning, I woke to Burns knocking on the bedroom door. "Nate. I brought you some clean clothes to change into. I had them in my room."

Travels the Frozen Tundra opened the door as he finished his sentence.

"Why do I keep clothing in your room?" he asked.

"Because sometimes you sleep up here at the house, so you always keep a set of clothes in the bottom drawer of my dresser. It's just easier than running all the way back to the cave."

"Okay," he said still clearly confused.

"_We don't share a bed if that's what you were thinking."_

"_Why would I think that?"_

"_Because here on earth, same sex relationships, while uncommon do happen."_

"_Then how do they procreate? Sex between a man and a woman produces a child."_

"_They don't have children."_

"_So they don't have sex."_

"_No, they have sex. They just don't produce babies."_

"_I'm confused."_

"_Don't worry about it. I'm not gay."_

"_Gay?"_

"_It means in love with a man, or in this case Burns. I am one hundred percent heterosexual."_

"_You love women."_

"_Damn straight."_

"_You love Wanda."_

"_Yes."_

"_And Victoria?"_

"_Yes, but I'm not in-love with her."_

"_I don't want to talk about this anymore."_

"_Good."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra changed his clothes and left the dirty ones in the bathroom as I had instructed him to do. We entered the dining room and found Ian, Colonel Jeffries, Sergeant Woodfern, Burns, and Kyle settling in for a meeting. Travels the Frozen Tundra had met Kyle briefly the night before at dinner. Kyle didn't have much to say about my being implanted. I guess he was just grateful it was me and not Ian.

Ian headed up the meeting and wanted to discuss strategies in the best way to incorporate the new souls into the works without shaking up the community. His main concern was security. He had originally planned to use Victoria, but after yesterday's close call, he thought better of it.

Just as the ideas began to flow, Wanda came through the door. We all looked up as she came in including Ian. He barely acknowledged her before putting his head down again. Wanda walked around the table and approached Ian.

"Excuse me, gentlemen." She bent over so her face was even with Ian's. "Sweetheart, you were already gone when I woke up. I didn't get my morning kiss." She put her hands on his face and pressed her lips to his. Then she straightened up and asked, "Would you like me to make you all breakfast?"

The Colonel answered. "That would be very nice of you, Mrs. O'Shea. I hope you are feeling better this morning."

"Yes, this has been a difficult pregnancy for me. I intend to see Doc later this morning about my headaches." She glanced at Ian before returning her attention to the others. Something was going on, but I couldn't put my finger on it. "Colonel, how would you like your eggs?" she asked.

"Scrambled will be fine."

"Sergeant?"

"Scrambled as well."

She smiled. "Must be a military thing. Kyle, you like your eggs over easy like me. Ian, you want sunny side up?"

"Yes, please."

"Nate?"

"Any way is good," he replied, obviously unsure what was being asked.

She smiled. "You always preferred scrambled with cheese."

The Colonel piped up. "I'd like cheese on mine, if you don't mind."

"Sergeant?"

"Sure, thank you, Mrs. O'Shea."

"Call me Wanderer. Burns, the usual?"

"Absolutely."

She exited the dining room. After a short while she returned with a pot of coffee and refilled our cups. Travels the Frozen Tundra had already discovered back at the hotel that I liked my coffee with cream and sugar. Ian seemed pleased by his wife's attempts to be a part of the team. I noticed he gave her hand a squeeze when she poured his coffee.

It was bit later that she returned with the orders for each of the men. She was very pleasant as she served each man his plate. When she set the last plate down in front of Kyle, she said, "Do you mind if I join you while you eat?"

"We wouldn't have it any other way," Burns replied. Ian immediately got up and offered her his chair. He went to the kitchen to retrieve another chair for himself. The conversation was pleasant; although, I have to admit Ian was unusually quiet. When we finished, Travels the Frozen Tundra jumped up to help clear which I thought was funny because he had never even been in a kitchen since his arrival on this planet. I imagine it was something he had seen on the video that he and Patricia watched while I napped. It probably fell under appreciation etiquette or some other weird soul rule.

She took the plates from Travels the Frozen Tundra without looking at me. "Thank you. I'll get it. You continue your meeting."

"Thank you. Breakfast was excellent," Travels the Frozen Tundra said with a smile.

"_Way to suck up."_

"_Thank you."_

"_You don't even know what it means, do you?"_

"_No."_

"_Sucking up means doing or saying something to get on one's good side."_

The meeting continued. We were trying to nail down exactly where the guard shack should be on the road. We didn't want it too close because we didn't want those that lived here feel like they were imprisoned, and yet we didn't want it too far away because it would give outsiders too wide of a berth to slip through. We also discussed building another bunkhouse for the soldiers that would be assigned to our community. Again, it was agreed that the new bunkhouse should be close to the guard shack so as not to inhibit the humans on the mountain.

Wanda popped back into the dining room in the midst of the conversation.

"Sorry, I just wanted to say I am off to find Doc. I guess I'll see you all later."

Ian stood up. "Excuse me while I walk her out."

"No need," She chirped as she exited the dining room.

We also decided that instead of building a fence around the entire compound, it would be easier to give the illusion that it was enclosed by putting up enough fence extending into the woods, so anyone who might be nosy, would give up upon seeing the fence. Everyone agreed that this was a good idea.

We created a list of products needed to get started and decided to go to town as a group. Ian and Kyle were assured they would be safe because the Colonel would be with them. So, off we went.

What should have been a few hours ended up being an all day excursion because the Colonel suggested that we all blow off a little steam. We bought the supplies first, and then he led the expedition to a golf course. Everyone played nine holes. Ian and Kyle were, of course, the shining stars on the course. Travels the Frozen Tundra had to be taught the game. He seemed to get frustrated that he couldn't seem to hit the ball the way he wanted to. I was no wiz at golf, but I surely would have played better than him, had I been able to control my own body.

It was late afternoon by the time the last of us finished, and the Colonel insisted that we go out to dinner. He brought us to an informal restaurant for steaks and ale. Travels the Frozen Tundra found that steak was by far the best food he had tasted on this planet. As dinner wound down, the camaraderie among Ian, Kyle, and the souls was getting stronger. It seemed the Colonel wanted the party to continue. He suggested we go to a sports bar. I knew it was right up Kyle and Ian's alley, and they agreed without hesitation.

There was another football game on. It was a preseason game. Ian and Kyle joked the players and laughed at the game as each of them sucked down beer after beer. Travels the Frozen Tundra didn't understand the concept of beer, so he was right with them. Since he was drunk, so was I, which scared me because I was trying desperately to keep my wits about me. I didn't want any valuable memories to slip out. I tried to stay in the moment and not think at all about the past.

It was late by the time we headed back to the mountain. The conversation took an interesting turn. Ian turned to me and said, "You know, that guy in there has a real crush on my wife." He thumped Travels the Frozen Tundra on the forehead.

"I know," Travels the Frozen Tundra replied. "He said she's a hot little number."

"Yeah, but she's pregnant now. You shoulda seen her before."

Kyle piped up. "What I wouldn't give to get Sunny knocked up."

"Man, I'm sorry. You want me to ask Wanda to have your baby?"

"You would do that?"

"Sure. You're my brother."

"I love you, man."

They hugged each like only brothers would. As we pulled into the driveway and came to a stop, the guys tried to get it together. It wasn't so easy for Ian and Kyle. I had to get out first since I was closest to the door. I have to admit my legs were a bit wobbly and Travels the Frozen Tundra was battling to jeep from falling on his face. Ian practically fell out of the vehicle. The porch light went on, and we all looked up to see Wanda, Sunny, and Lily standing on the porch with their arms folded tightly against their chests.

"Oh crap," Ian muttered.

I stumbled and then regained my balance. Travels the Frozen Tundra offered his take on the girls posturing on the porch. "Damn, it must suck to be you right now."

Kyle came around the corner and stood next to us. He looked up at the girls. "You know? You're right! Even pregnant, she's a hot little number."

"Shut up. You've got your own piece of ass," Ian blurted out.

"I don't," Travels the Frozen Tundra blubbered. "Can I take a stab at her?"

"Listen, you little weasel, Travels to the Wrong Planet or whatever the hell your name is. I'm the only one who will be taking a stab at her." Ian approached the porch. "Come here, wife. I need some attention." He climbed the steps, wrapped his arms around Wanda, and tried to kiss her.

"Ian, stop it," she barked.

"Come on, baby. You're the sex fiend." He ran his hands down her back to her buttocks in front of everyone.

"Stop it!" She cried out.

He wouldn't let go.

Two soldiers who were designated drivers for the night climbed the steps and pulled Ian off of her. As soon as she was free, she slapped him in the face. The soldiers each had one of Ian's arms, so he couldn't reciprocate.

"_Oh, shit. She's pissed."_

"_Duh!" _Travels the Frozen Tundra replied to me.

"Don't hit me again!" he growled.

One of the soldiers spoke up. "I'm sorry, Mrs. O'Shea. They are all in this state. We were going to herd them all to the bunkhouse to sleep it off."

"I'm going home," Wanda bellowed as she descended the stairs.

"Would you like one of us to walk you home?" one of the soldiers asked.

She turned toward them but continued walking backwards. "No, you two have your hands full; besides, the only ones who might rape me are with you."

Ian yelled out, "It's not rape if you want it!"

"Rape?" Travels the Frozen Tundra replied. "The definition of rape is the crime of using force to have sexual intercourse with somebody. Ian rapes his wife?"

Kyle immediately came to Ian's defense. "No, Ian would never force her to have sex."

I don't know why, but the memory of Wanda calling me to tell me that Ian had nearly strangled her when he thought that Kyle had up and married her came into my head, and Travels the Frozen Tundra saw my vision of Ian strangling her. The soldiers helped Ian down the porch steps. When they got to the bottom, he became indignant.

"Let go of me. I can walk."

"We just want to help you to the bunk house, so you can sleep it off. You'll feel better on the morning."

"I'm not going to the bunkhouse. I'm going home to my wife."

"Wanderer doesn't seem like she doesn't want you in her bed tonight," the Colonel replied.

"_He's going to go ballistic. You need to calm him or my whole reason for sacrificing my life could go up in smoke."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra stepped to Ian. "Release him, please. I'd like to speak to him, alone."

The soldiers looked to the Colonel. "Fine. Could we move this along, please? I'm tipsy, and I'm tired. I'd like to go to bed."

"Yes, sir," Travels the Frozen Tundra replied. _"What do you want me to say?"_

"_Just repeat what I tell you."_

He pulled Ian aside and spoke low. "Nate asked me to intervene. He says they are testing you. The Colonel wanted to see if you can be dealt with when you are drunk. Being belligerent and threatening will only destroy what he says you've worked so hard to accomplish. He says you need to heed their wishes and sleep in the bunk house with the others. Wanda will be fine for one night without you."

"Nate, how am I going to do this without you?" I said in desperation.

"He says you don't. He's with me, and he will be here to advise you."

Ian hugged me. He was hugging Travels the Frozen Tundra, but it was meant for me. He backed away. "Kyle!"

"Ian?" Kyle replied from the bottom of the porch.

"You're with me. We'll be sleeping in the bunkhouse."

"But…Sunny…"

"Sunny is pissed at you! Just come with me, please!"

"Okay! Okay!" he hollered.

Ian turned to Burns. "You, too."

"But I'm not that drunk," Burns replied.

"Who's the leader around here?" Ian asked.

Burns looked up at Lily. She nodded to him. "Let's go," Burns said in defeat.

"_Thank you for not saying anything about what you saw."_

"_I'm not happy about what I saw."_

"_It was before they were married. He thought she betrayed him. After that happened, she left him. That's when she and I had our brief romance. At least, it was a romance for me. She was still thinking about Ian. She ended our relationship the same night I thought we would cement it. She went back to him. They took it slow, and he proved himself to her. You have no idea how much I wanted him to screw up. She loves Ian. She always will." _

"_I'm sorry."_

I didn't answer him. The crowd dispersed. Travels the Frozen Tundra climbed the steps to the porch and went to bed.

14


	82. Chapter 82

**I want to thank each and every one of you who have stuck with me through my long hiatus. I am trying to be more diligent in sticking with the story and putting out a chapter each week. I also want to thank those of you who have been so kind as to leave a review and let me know that you are still in Nate's corner. It makes me smile…**

NATE'S LAST STAND

Someone was banging on my bedroom door. "Nate! You gonna get up today?"

It was Kyle. Travels the Frozen Tundra sat up in the bed. ""My head!" he grumbled.

I thought it was odd that I felt relaxed when he was drunk, but I wasn't feeling any of his pain from the hangover he was obviously sporting.

"_Come on. It's just a hangover. You don't want them to think you are weak, do you?"_

"_How often do you do this stuff?"_

"_You mean get shitfaced?"_

"_That's disgusting."_

"_Don't take it literally. It just means getting drunk. We drink often enough here on the mountain, but most of us rarely get drunk." _

"_Good," _he muttered as he dragged himself out of the bed.

"_You'll feel better after you shower."_

He grabbed a clean set of clothes from the dresser. I was surprised to see most of my clothes here. I wondered who may have brought them up from the cave. Travels the Frozen Tundra stood under the hot water for a long time before he finally decided to face the day.

No sooner had he sat down to eat a bagel and down a cup of coffee, Ian barged into the kitchen. "All right, guys! We got off track yesterday, thanks to the Colonel. It's time to get back on track. The faster we get the guard house built and the fence installed, the sooner the military contingent leaves, and we can get back to our lives."

"Agreed," Burns stated.

"We know where the supplies are. Colonel Jeffries said we could use as many of his men as we need. I say we start unloading, and I'll divvy up the work."

"Can we finish breakfast first?" Kyle asked.

"Go ahead and eat. I'm goin'."

"What's eating him?" Evan said as he entered the kitchen. "He practically dragged me out of bed this morning. He told me to round up the guys and get to the house."

"I think being the boss is getting to him," Burns replied.

"Yeah, and I bet Wanda is still pissed," Kyle added.

Burns turned to me. "Nate, I know this is all new to you, but if you could just ask our Nate to help us out here. He's always been the one with a plan."

"_I think Ian is right. The quicker you get life back to normal, the better chance you have of fitting in. As long as Colonel Jeffries is here with his entourage, the humans will see you as one of them."_

"_I am one of them."_

"_Now see, if you are going to be me, you have stop thinking of yourself as a soul and start thinking of yourself as one of the members of this community. We've been just fine for the last seven years and we certainly don't need a military presence to tell us hoe to live."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra downed his coffee. "Nate says Ian is right. We need to show Colonel Jeffries that we don't need his presence here on the mountain. We've been doing just fine for the last seven years, and we'll continue to do so."

Evan looked directly at me. "Is that the new Nate or the old Nate talking?"

"It's his words, but I agree with him."

We spent the morning unloading and separating the supplies. I encouraged Travels the Frozen Tundra to stay close to Ian, so I could help him make the decisions. I persuaded Ian to keep the guys in groups that I knew would work well together. Burns, Evan, and Carlos worked on digging the holes for the fence with the help of three of the colonel's soldiers. I knew it would be a difficult job because of the amount of rock that was on this mountain. Ian, Kyle, Blake, Rob, and I worked on building the guard house down the road. We had to clear the land in preparation to pour the cement for the foundation. Colonel Jeffries sent a couple of soldiers to help; although, I suspected it was really to keep an eye on us to see how we worked together as a team.

As the morning wore on, Blake brought up the fact that the summer was passing us by, and they hadn't played any baseball since the day we were discovered. One of the soldiers admitted that he loved to play baseball. He said he considered playing ball for college, but he was promised a lifelong career in the military, so at the urging of his father, he chose the latter.

Blake suggested that we play a game after lunch. Ian nixed the idea, citing they had too much work to do.

I used Travels the Frozen Tundra to once again voice my point of view on the subject.

"Ian, I know you've been under a lot of stress, but so has everyone else. While you were whisked away, they rest of the clan remained shut up in the cave not knowing what was happening. Wouldn't it make sense, now that we're back, to do something to help relieve their stress and boost their moral?"

Ian blew out his breath as he considered what Travels the Frozen Tundra said. "Was this Nate's idea?"

"Yes. He says he wants to help even if he can't be in control."

Ian looked at Blake and Burns. They obviously were in favor of the game.

"Come on, Coach," Blake pleaded.

"Okay, but not after lunch. After dinner. We'll play until dark."

"All right!" Blake called out. He and Kyle gave each other a high five.

"Back to work!" Ian snapped.

We broke for lunch when Maria sent Megan and Jamie to retrieve us. The gameroom was full of people. There was a much bigger crowd than there had been yesterday. Some were sitting and eating, and others were at the buffet table making sandwiches. We got on the end of the line to wait our turn. That's when I first laid eyes on Gina.

She was sitting at a table. She had a sandwich in front of her, but she wasn't eating. She was staring at us—well me.

"_She's staring," _Travels the Frozen Tundra observed.

"_That's Gina." _I refreshed him with my memory of the birthday girls.

"_Right. I remember now. She's not as pretty as the others."_

I was about to defend her when she suddenly got up and walked directly toward us. She stopped right in front of me.

"You don't belong here."

"I live here," he replied.

"You're not him. You'll never be him."

Then she did something unexpected. She spit in my face.

Travels the Frozen Tundra backed up. Everyone was aghast.

"My name is Nathan Downey!" he said in defiance.

Gina spun around to reply, but Ian was quick. He intercepted her before she could get to me.

"Go back to your own planet, leech!"

"Evan! Can you please control your girlfriend?" Ian bellowed. Ian pulled Gina into his arms and spoke low to her.

"I don't care!" she screamed.

Evan joined Ian, and together, they escorted Gina outside.

"_She's crazy."_

"_I would like it if you would reserve judgment. There are many things about her that you don't know." _I didn't mean to let a memory slip, but it did. I imagined her on the ground being kicked repeatedly by a man I couldn't put a face to.

"_Who did that to her?"_

"_I don't know. It happened before she got here. No one knows about it except me—not even Evan."_

"_Wow."_

"_And I'd appreciate it if you didn't call her ugly."_

"_I didn't call her ugly. I said she wasn't as pretty as the others."_

"_Well, I think she's gorgeous."_

"_You have a thing for her!"_

"_Doesn't really matter anymore, now does it?" _I went to my little corner of the brain and stayed there.

"_I thought you were in love with Wanderer?"_

I didn't bother to answer him. My heart was broken—wherever it was.

"_Nate?"_

"Nate, you gonna eat?" Kyle asked.

"Uh, yeah."

Travels the Frozen Tundra grabbed a plate and stared down at the sandwich meat.

"_What should I choose?" _

I didn't care what he ate or if he ate at all for that matter.

"You all right?" Kyle asked.

"I don't know what I like."

"I thought you and Nate were in there together. Why don't you ask him?"

"I did."

"And?"

"He didn't answer."

"Oh. Well, try the roast beef. I'm pretty sure you'll like it—and put some mayonnaise on it."

Kyle helped Travels the Frozen Tundra fix his plate. He sat next to Kyle and Sunny, who seemed no worse for wear after last night's scene.

A few minutes later, Wanda and Doc entered the building.

"Excuse me," Ian exclaimed as he got up. Travels the Frozen  
>Tundra watched Ian as he approached the newcomers. Wanda broke away and headed for the food while Ian remained near the door and spoke to Doc. Wanda filled her plate and sat down to eat at a different table which was surprising to me since she and Sunny were usually together. I could only assume she wasn't ready to make nice with me or anyone associated with last night. Eventually, Ian walked away from Doc and approached Wanda. He spoke to her, and she rose from her seat. He took her hand and escorted her outside.<p>

"I wonder what that's about," Sunny exclaimed.

"Beats me," Kyle replied.

Wanda and Ian returned a few minutes later, but they each returned to their respective tables. Ian ate quickly, and we all returned to work. Ian, Burns, and I were pulled away for meetings with the Colonel to discuss the plans for the security of the community.

We met in the Colonel's command tent. We sat around the same table that we had sat at that day on the field. I was sure of this because I recognized a heart shaped mark that had been etched into the table in the past. The entire group consisted of me, Ian, Burns, the Colonel, Sergeant Woodfern, and a soldier we had worked close with for the past few days named Sergeant Smiling at the Moon.

"I want to begin this meeting by saying I am very surprised at how well mannered most of your family is here on this mountain. Of course, there were a few exceptions; although, I understand that Nathan Downey was an integral part of this community and well liked by the ladies." He looked directly at me. Then he directed his attention back to Ian. "Ian, I know this must be difficult to fill his shoes. I only hope it will get easier as time goes on. I will say the men who work under you are very loyal, and I do admire that."

"Thank you, sir," Ian replied.

"How are things between you and your wife?"

"She's getting on board, sir."

The Colonel gave Ian a stern look. "If someone had told me that there would be a soul out there like your wife who would die to protect the humans, I would have thought they were lying. She is truly a pioneer in every way. I think instead of Rides the Beast, maybe we should give her a new name. Perhaps Fights for Humanity might be a moniker more apropos."

"She's a passionate woman," Ian exclaimed.

"Yes," the colonel agreed.

The colonel drew in deep breath. "As much as I would like to stick around and oversee the creation of this community, I need to get back to  
>Washington on other pressing matters."<p>

Burns interjected. "I'm sorry to correct you, but this community has been established for the better part of seven years—sir."

Colonel Jeffries looked directly at Burns. "You still don't like me, do you?"

"Gee, is it that obvious?"

Colonel Jeffries turned to Ian. "Now see? My own kind hates me. Can you tell me why that is?"

"Maybe we just see the inhumanity of it all," Burns replied.

"Without the humans, we would die."

"First of all…" Burns replied.

Ian stood up and interrupted the ensuing tirade. "Look, we cannot change the past. We can only hope to save the human race, even if it means losing one of our own to do it."

"_He's right."_

Burns pulled back. "I'm sorry. It's hard for me to accept that I have lost my best friend."

Ian patted Burns on the back. "He's still here with us, and I know I intend to remind him every day how much we need him, and that he is still an integral part of our lives even if he can't talk to us directly."

"Can we move on, please?" Colonel Jeffries exclaimed.

"Sure," Ian answered.

Ian kept his hand on Burns's shoulder as Colonel Jeffries resumed his speech.

"Where was I?" he asked.

Sergeant Woodfern spoke up as he read from his tablet. . "As much as I would like to stick around and oversee the creation of this community, I need to get back to Washington on other pressing matters."

"Right, thank you, Woodfern. My plan is to leave five soldiers here at all times. Sergeant Smiling at the Moon will be in charge, and he will live here on the mountain with you. He was chosen for this detail because he is single and his family lives not too far away, so he can stay in touch with them. The other four soldiers will be replaced every thirty days. The soldiers that will be staying for the first thirty days are all working with you on the fence and the guardhouse."

I was happy that John Pruitt and Glides through Water were staying. They seemed very likable, and I felt that they could possibly meld into the clan without too much effort. I was sad to hear they would only be with us for thirty days.

"Travels the Frozen Tundra will be the liaison between the mountain and Washington. He will fly out once a month for a few days to report to me, General Blue Flame, and the President. During that time, he will report your progress as well as any issues he has concerns about, and he will see a comforter for support while in Washington. In case of emergency, he can contact me directly by phone. Are there any questions?"

"Will you be marking the new boundaries, so we know how far we can build?" Ian asked.

"Yes, the surveyors should be out in the next week or so."

"And the electrical issue?"

"They have been notified and should be sending someone out in the next day or two. Please make sure you check identification before letting them proceed. I know you haven't had the luxury of television this last week, but let me tell you, news of your little community has spread like wildfire. I am sure the thrill seekers will be upon you very soon."

Travels the Frozen Tundra finally found his voice. "These thrill seekers, will they be dangerous?"

"I believe they will be more of a nuisance than anything else. Just as Nate remains in his body, there are many other souls still dealing with the former owners of their hosts. They will most likely be the ones who will be most curious. We will have comforters set up in the town below to help those souls with their frustrations."

"Don't they have access to comforters anytime they want?" Travels the Frozen Tundra asked.

"Yes, of course, but many souls don't like to admit they are still haunted by the human inside. They feel it is a sign of weakness, so they keep their mouths shut. As a result, both the human and soul become tortured."

"_Does he really think a comforter can take away my torture?"_

"_I don't think he's worried about you."_

"_Gee. What a surprise."_

"Will I have access to these comforters if needed?"

"Of course, Travels the Frozen Tundra. You are a soul. You may come and go as you please."

"Thank you, sir. I do have one request."

"What is that?"

"I have chosen to take the name Nathan Downey. Please refer to me by that name."

"I understand your motivation for taking on the name, and I commend you for the decision, Nathan Downey." He looked up at the others. "You may all return to your duties. I need to speak with Nathan Downey, but he will return to you in a bit."

Ian stood up. "Sounds good. Nate, you know where we are."

The others left, and I was alone with Colonel Jeffries and Sergeant Woodfern.

"So, you've had a few days to get used to your host. Have you learned anything that I should know?"

"No, sir. Every memory he has given me has occurred on the mountain."

"So, he is giving you memories."

"Some. Most of them involve women."

Colonel Jeffries tried to hide a smile. "Ah, yes. Considering the reactions of the women on this mountain, I got the feeling he was a ladies man."

"_Is! Is a ladies man!" _I cried out in vain.

"I spoke to your comforter, Patricia. She says you seem very unsure of yourself. You have not had very much time to acclimate yourself to this world. Do you want to go back with me and spend a few days with her?"

"No. I think these first few weeks are going to be pivotal for my acceptance here. Did I say that right?"

"Yes, pivotal is the exact word I would have used here, and I agree. It's done then. Give the Sergeant your phone, so he can put in my number to reach me. You can call me anytime you need to report anything that Nathan Downey releases from his memory, or if you need my assistance."

"Thank you, sir. I will."

Travels the Frozen Tundra bid the colonel farewell and joined Ian and the gang, who were hard at work cutting down trees to clear the site of the proposed buildings. Ian spotted me coming down the road, and he jogged over to me.

"Go get the truck and a couple of chains from under the house."

"Me? I can't drive," he answered.

"No time like the present to learn," Ian replied as he patted me on the back. Then he jogged back to the others.

I started to laugh.

"_Why are you laughing?"_

"_Because this is going to be comical."_

"_Aren't you going to help me?"_

"_Nope. Everyone needs to learn how to drive. Giving you my memories would just be cheating. Besides, I need a good laugh."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra reached the truck and slid into the driver's seat. From that moment, he was completely lost. Since he always rode in the back seat, he'd never seen how the driver started the vehicle. He didn't think to look on the steering column. He searched the dashboard in vain.

"_Are you going to help me or not?"_

"_Not."_

He got out of the truck and slammed the door.

"_You're an—asshole!"_

Once again, I laughed.

He stormed into the house. Jamie and the girls were watching TV.

"Can someone help me?" He sounded desperate.

Jamie jumped to his feet. "Sure! Watcha need?"

"I need someone to drive that truck down the road."

"I don't know how to drive. I'm only fifteen," Janie replied.

"Ian expects me to bring him the truck and some chains."

"Okay. You get the chains. I'll see if anyone is in the root cellar that can drive."

"Where are the chains?" Travels the Frozen Tundra asked.

"Come with me. I'll show you."

Jamie showed him how to get under the house and took off to find help.

"_You know if you don't want to help, then maybe you should just go away."_

"_Not a chance. This is too much fun."_

By the time he located the chains and dragged them out from under the house, Jamie had returned from the root cellar. He was alone.

"Well?"

"No one was there."

"Great," Travels the Frozen Tundra spouted with obvious frustration.

"I have an idea. Why don't you let me drive," Jamie offered.

"I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"You said you're only fifteen, and you can't drive."

"I know, but I'm not afraid to drive."

Travels the Frozen Tundra stood his ground. "I'm not afraid to drive."

"_Liar."_

"Fine. I guess I'll go back in the house since you don't need me anymore."

"_Smart move. You're sending away the only ally you've got."_

"Wait!" Travels the Frozen Tundra called out.

Jamie stopped in mid stride.

"I'll drive. You tell me what to do."

We threw the chains in the back of the truck and jumped in.

"Okay. Where do I put the key?"

"Right there," Jamie replied as he pointed to the steering column.

Travels the Frozen Tundra turned the keys over in his hand. "Which key?"

"This is a Ford truck, so you use the one that says 'Ford'."

"Right. Duh!"

Jamie smiled. Travels the Frozen Tundra put the key in the lock.

"Turn it," Jamie instructed.

He turned the key, and the engine rolled over.

"Okay, put it in reverse," Jamie exclaimed.

"Reverse?"

"You want to back up, don't you?"

"Why?"

"Because the road is behind us."

"Okay, fair enough. How do I make it go backward?"

"You see this stick here? If you pull it until it goes to the "R" in front of you, then you'll be in reverse."

Travels the Frozen Tundra tried to put the truck in reverse, but he couldn't get the control to move.

"I can't get it to move."

Jamie shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know."

It was like watching the blind leading the blind.

"_You have to step on the brake. The gearshift control won't move unless you are stepping on the brake. It's a safety measure."_

"Nate says I have to step on the brake."

"Oh," Jamie replied. "Then step on the brake."

"I don't know which one to step on."

"Pick one and see if it works."

Travels the Frozen Tundra stepped on the gas, and the engine roared.

"It's not that one. Must be the other one," Jamie replied.

Travels the Frozen Tundra stepped on the brake and pulled on the gear shift until it landed on the "R". The truck jumped as it went into gear.

Jamie commended him. "There. You got it."

"Now what?"

"Take your foot off the brake and step on the gas."

"That's the other pedal, right?"

"Right."

"Okay, here goes."

At that moment, Travels the Frozen Tundra took his foot off the brake and slammed it down on the gas. In the midst of all this, I said, _"Did you look in the mirror to make_ _sure the coast was clear?"_

"_No…" _As Travels the Frozen Tundra looked into the mirror, I saw my worst nightmare coming true. Gina was standing about twenty feet behind the truck, and we were moving at a clip.

"_Shit! You're gonna hit her!" _That's when I regained control of my body. I slammed my foot on the brake, and the truck came to a screeching stop. Both Jamie and Travels the Frozen Tundra sunk back into the seat and then were pushed forward from the sudden stop. Neither was wearing a seatbelt. I was able to use my arms to brace my head from slamming into the steering wheel. Unfortunately, Jamie wasn't so lucky, and he slammed into the dashboard and came up with a bloody nose.

"WHAT THE HELL, Nate!" Jamie screamed.

"Gina's behind the truck!" I screamed. The thing was it wasn't Travels the Frozen Tundra who replied to Jamie. It was me. I had taken over my body. I got out and ran to where Gina was lying on the ground. "Oh my God! Gina, angel, are you hurt?"

Gina pulled herself away from me. "Are you out of your fucking mind? You could have killed me!" She stood up and brushed the dirt off of herself.

Travels the Frozen Tundra took back control of my body. "I'm so sorry! I didn't see you."

"And I'm not your angel," she hissed.

"No of course you're not. I didn't mean to imply…"

Jamie stumbled out of the passenger seat wiping the blood from his nose with his shirt.

"Oh, Jesus," Gina exclaimed. "Look at him."

"I'm okay," Jamie replied.

"Go clean yourself up," Gina ordered.

"I can't," Jamie protested. "Nate doesn't know how to drive. I'm helping him."

"First of all, this poor excuse for a human is not Nate, and second, how are you supposed to help him drive when you don't know how to drive yourself?"

"_You gotta love that spirit."_

"_I don't have to love anything. I just want to get the truck to Ian."_

"_You have no heart. You almost ran her over."_

"_I thank you for that."_

"_Me? I'm the one who kept you from plowing her down!"_

"Get in the house," Gina barked at Jamie. "And you get in the truck," she said to me.

Travels the Frozen Tundra approached the driver's side.

"Get in the other side. You don't actually think I'm going to let you drive, do you?"

"No, I guess not."

Gina mumbled under her breath as she got into the truck. Travels the Frozen Tundra got slid into the passenger seat.

"Put your seatbelt on!" she ordered.

"Seatbelt?" Travels the Frozen Tundra replied.

"Jesus H Christ!" She reached over and pulled on the seatbelt and secured it in the latch.

As Gina started the truck, Travels the Frozen Tundra found his voice. "Are you old enough to drive?"

"Yes, I'm old enough to drive, not that it matters. It's not as if any of us have a driver's license. Besides, I've been driving since I was fourteen."

"Fourteen?"

"Do you think I was just a concubine? I had to drive the truck when the others raided the souls."

"You raided the souls?"

"No, we knocked on their doors and said, 'brother can you spare a meal'?"

"_She's being sarcastic."_

"_I know. I'm not stupid."_

"_I think she'd beg to differ."_

It took only a minute to reach the construction site. Gina threw the truck in park and got out.

"Hey, Ian! Can you please keep your leech on a leash?" She didn't wait for an answer. Instead, she began marching back up the road.

Ian jogged over to where Travels the Frozen Tundra stood. "What's her problem?"

"You mean besides the fact that she hates me?"

"Yeah, besides that."

"I almost ran her over."

"You're serious."

"Yeah, and I think Jamie may have a broken nose."

"Shit. She may be right. Maybe I _should_ keep you on a leash."

"That's not funny. I told you I couldn't drive."

"Well, I thought Nate would help you out."

"Well, he didn't."

Ian didn't answer. I suppose he was thinking about what he would be doing if he were in my place.

We spent the rest of the afternoon, pulling the stumps out of the ground with the chains and the truck. It was hard work, and although my body was strong, Travels the Frozen Tundra wasn't prepared emotionally for the ribbing he got from the others when he didn't know what to do. He didn't even understand the reason behind pulling out the stumps. For me, it was quite hilarious. For him, it was humiliating.

Finally, Colonel Jeffries appeared as if out of nowhere and announced that it was time for dinner. He made it clear that Wanderer would be expecting her husband to not be late. The guys all laughed at the thought of Ian being ruled by a woman, and a tiny one at that. He ordered the crew to continue working stating he wanted to get one more stump out before quitting for the day. I personally think it was more of the fact that he didn't want to seem weak. Whatever his reasons, we worked another twenty minutes removing a stubborn stump and then marched as a group back to the house to wash up.

Upon arriving at the gameroom, it was clear that we were more than just a bit late. The three ladies, Wanda, Sunny, and Lily were sitting in a row and did not look particularly happy when they saw us. Of course Ian, Burns, and Kyle each went directly to their respective ladies to apologize. It was obvious I wasn't wanted at their table. Travels the Frozen Tundra made a beeline for Jamie, who looked to be one hundred percent healthy.

"How's your nose?" he asked.

"It's fine. Gina used some No Pain and Heal, and I was as good as new in no time."

"Good."

After dinner, we played baseball. Travels the Frozen Tundra stuck close to Jamie, but opted not to play, citing he wanted to watch and learn the game.

"That's too bad," Ian announced in front of the crowd. "The Nate I knew was a true competitor."

"Damn straight," Victoria chimed in.

"I, too, am a competitor, but is it not fair that I should learn the nuances of the game rather than make a fool of myself?" he said his defense.

"You mean like you driving?" Gina yelled out. "Face it. You'll never be Nate. He was one of a kind."

"I second that," Kim affirmed.

"I third it," Rob chimed in.

And it went like that until everyone in the group had their say. Even Jamie admitted that he missed the real Nate.

"_They hate me."_

"_I can't say I feel sorry for you."_

That evening as I watched the game, I yearned to be a part of the crowd again. I missed the camaraderie we had. Living with Travels the Frozen Tundra was surely no picnic. The one saving grace that I had was the fact that I still had the power in rare cases to control my own body. I wasn't out of the game yet.

12


	83. Chapter 83

**I want to thank those of you who have been loyal to me in both Nate's Diary and For the Love of Brynn. Your kind words are what keep me going. I admit there are times when I just feel like giving up writing altogether. In the beginning, many fans sung my praises, but as time has passed, fans have faded; life goes on, and I and my writing are but a memory. **

**It's a bittersweet pill to swallow. I thought my fans on FanFiction would be the primary source of people to buy my books. What I didn't realize was most of the people on here are too young to use a credit card. So, I continue to write Nate's Diary for those people…the ones who can't get enough of A Soul's Hope and Nate, and Wanda, and Gina, and Victoria. **

**This is for you.**

A TEMPORARY LAPSE IN JUDGMENT

TRAVELS THE FROZEN TUNDRA didn't sleep well. I asked him what was on his mind—besides me—but he didn't really want to talk about it. I took that as a positive. Maybe I was wearing on him. Maybe, he was thinking of bailing. I could only hope. He was quiet at breakfast which was not unusual. Ian, on the other hand, was absolutely exuberant.

Colonel Jeffries noticed it as well. "If you are this happy to get rid of me, maybe I should stay for a while."

"No, sir. This has nothing to do with you."

"Then what may I ask does it have to with?"

"I know that look," Kyle replied. "He and Wanda had a wild night."

"Shut up, Kyle," Ian barked.

Burns interjected. "The truth is Ian felt his baby kick for the first time last night. He's happy to know that all this drama hasn't hurt his relationship with his wife or the health of the child she carries. I think the man has every reason to be smiling."

"If that is so, then why couldn't he tell me that?"

Burns continued his commentary. "He couldn't tell you because you expect him to be this pillar of strength. The truth is as much as he feels the need to be there for these people on the mountain, his priority was, is, and always will be the woman he loves and his impending family. As it should be. Do you have family, Colonel Jeffries?"

"That's none of your business."

"And yet you feel that Ian's happiness is yours?"

"Burns Living Flowers, I think I have had just about enough of your insolence."

"Then arrest me. I only speak my mind. And it is my mind, not the mind of a human host still trapped inside of me. Believe me, if there was another entity still viable in my body, I would have asked to be removed and sent somewhere else. No. This body is now mine. I'm sorry if out of the billions of souls in the galaxy, you got stuck dealing with the one that dislikes the things we have done in the name of survival."

"Maybe you should see a comforter."

"I don't need a comforter. I derive great comfort in the family I have here on the mountain. Would you take that away from me?"

The Colonel cropped his eyebrows together. "No. Every soul deserves the right to live on the planet they find to be the most suitable."

"Well, this group of vagabonds suits me just fine."

"Fair enough."

What I hadn't considered during this debate among the souls was the fact that several humans were present and witnessed Burns's tirade. Like any news, this spread like wildfire among the inhabitants on the mountain, and Burns received a new found respect by those who had doubted him in these last few weeks. It became evident in the days that followed as he was granted access back into the cave by Maria who had, in my absence, had become mistress of the cave.

After breakfast, the Colonel and his contingent packed up three of the trucks and headed out. Wanda made an appearance to say good-bye. She tried her best to avoid me. As the trucks pulled out and headed down the road, Wanda sidled up to me and looked directly into my eyes.

"Don't give up, Nate. I still love you." She didn't wait for an answer. Instead she went to Ian, kissed him briefly on the lips, and went on her way.

Although I was sure the people on the mountain were relieved to have Colonel Jeffries leave, Ian stayed on task and worked harder than anyone else to make sure the guardhouse was built quickly. In the days that followed, he initiated the help of every male on the mountain that didn't go to school with the exception of Uncle George.

A few days in, Wanda took one of the vehicles and went into town to do some grocery shopping. Ian mentioned that she was hoping to get their life back on track, and she wanted to start by cooking the evening meals for her husband in their home. I had to admit I wished it was me she was cooking for.

Travels the Frozen Tundra did his best to try and fit in with the group. He stayed close to the core group which included Ian, Kyle, and Burns. The guys were cordial. Ian always made it a point to speak to me every day. It was usually under the guise of asking for my opinion. This in turn would cause Travels the Frozen Tundra to answer for me which assured Ian that I was still there. I hoped he was reporting back to the others that I was still fighting the good fight for our family.

Things were settling down on the mountain. As the days passed, I found out by trial and error that I could think about my friends who were not on the mountain while Travels the Frozen Tundra was asleep. He did not retain the memories because he was not conscious. What little he did remember, he chalked up to being a dream.

I was worried about Jeb and his clan as well as Nadia and the gypsies. I hoped Ian and Burns would come up with some way to contact them and possibly get supplies to them. All of the souls had left the caverns to aid us on the mountain, so raiding was the only way for them to get food. Nadia's family had come to rely on my monthly visits. It had been over a month since I had gone to them. Some of my worries were answered on Sunday morning; although, Travels the Frozen Tundra was none the wiser.

Travels the Frozen Tundra had gotten up early. He was teaching himself how to drive the truck. Ian figured it was best to do it before the others were up. Less chance of running someone over. He took it slow and drove the truck up and down the hill a few times, stopping to bring the guards some breakfast and to eat with them since the inhabitants on the mountain didn't particularly like running into him at the house first thing in the morning. The elders always got up early to use the facilities at the house.

Afterward, he returned to the house to meet up with the guys for work. Travels the Frozen Tundra entered the kitchen where an important conversation was taking place. Ian was speaking to Wanda.

"So how long do you and Sunny plan to be at your father's?"

"I don't know. Not that long. A week maybe?"

"_She's going away?" _I lamented.

"Babe, I'm not thrilled about you leaving, but if Doc says you're okay to travel..."

Sunny spoke up. "Think about all the work you and Kyle can get done with us out of your hair."

"_Please, I need you to tell her something for me."_

"True," Ian admitted. "I guess if Kyle is okay with it, then I'll survive."

"_What?"_

Kyle spoke. "I don't own Sunny, and we're not married." He looked directly at Sunny. "As long as you come back this time."

"_Tell her to wear the watch I gave to her. It would mean so much to me."_

"_I can't tell her that."_

"I promise I'll come back. I've come to realize that I can't live without you."

"_Please!" _I begged.

Travels the Frozen Tundra finally spoke. "You're going to see your father?"

"Yes, Sunny's coming with me. I knew Ian wouldn't let me go alone."

"Oh." He sounded disappointed.

"You have a problem with my leaving?"

"No, Nate just…well, he said to wear your watch."

Wanda walked up to Travels the Frozen Tundra and looked into his eyes as if searching past the soul and focusing directly on me. "Nate, don't you give up. I love you dearly, and I miss you terribly. Why do you think I don't go in the game room at night? That was our time. It hurts to be there without you. I promise I'll wear your watch, and I will think about you every time I look at it." She kissed her palm and blew a kiss toward me. "That's for you, my sweet Nate."

Ian was silent, and he looked at the floor. She grabbed his hand. "Do you have time to help me pack?"

"I'll make the time."

They turned and left the house together.

"_Thank you for giving me that."_

"_You owe me."_

It was forecast to be a humid day in the low nineties. The guys were not looking forward to spending it in the hot sun. With Ian gone, they took the opportunity to remain in the air conditioning of the house and watch a little TV. Travels the Frozen Tundra hung with the guys and watched _Good Morning America._ For him, it was a learning experience to hear about things that were going on outside of our little community.

After a while, Ian and Wanda returned, as did Kyle and Sunny. Everyone lined up in the driveway to say good-bye to the girls. Travels the Frozen Tundra joined the group; however, he seemed fidgety to me. I couldn't put my finger on the reason why.

As Sunny's car backed down the driveway, he left the group and went to his room. He pulled out his phone and searched for a number. When he got to Colonel Jeffries number, he dialed it. It rang several times before he picked up.

"Jeffries here," he said.

"Yes, hello, Colonel Jeffries, this is Travels—um—I mean—Nathan Downey."

"Hello, Nathan. Do you have information for me?"

"As a matter of fact, I do."

"I see. What sort of secrets have you discovered from your host?"

"_Shit!" _I thought to myself. _"Did I let something slip?"_

"_No. But now I know that there is something you are hiding, and sooner or later, I will find out."_

"I have not learned anything specific, but I can assure you that I will. I learn a little more about my host every day."

"Good. So what is the reason for the call?"

"It seems Wanderer and Sunny have decided to take a little trip."

"Did they say where they are going?"

"She said that they were going to see her father. I don't know. I just got a very strange feeling about the whole thing. It seemed very spur of the moment."

"Well, don't you worry. The vehicles on the mountain are bugged."

"I don't understand. What does that mean? The vehicles are bugged?"

"It means they all have tracking devices on them. We can track everywhere they go. If they go somewhere unexpected or out of the way, we will know."

I was horrified. I tried not to think about it. The last thing I wanted to do was tip off the soul that possessed my body.

"So, if I was to leave the mountain in one of these vehicles, and Nate directed me to some secret location, you would know?"

"Absolutely."

"Thank you, sir. I'll keep in touch."

"_Why would you ask him that?"_

"_In case you were thinking of leading me to your friends and then having me disposed of."_

"_That's ridiculous. I would just be putting my family in jeopardy if I disposed of you.."_

"_As long as you realize that."_

"_Of course I realize that. Do you think I'm stupid? I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to this."_

"_Let's just say I wouldn't want to meet with an unfortunate death."_

"_Are you forgetting that I would die as well?"_

"_You're death would mean any secrets you carry are safe."_

"_True. Only I'm not in any hurry to die. I will persevere as long as I have the strength." _

"_And how long do you think you can carry that strength?"_

"_For as long as I have to."_

"_You are stubborn, you know that?"_

I decided not to answer.

"_Whatever you are protecting, I will find out."_

Again, I didn't answer. Instead, I hoped Wanda and Sunny were going where they said they were because there was no way to warn them.

For the next few days, I laid low. I tried to think only of the task at hand. Travels the Frozen Tundra took the opportunity to bond with the soldiers.

Ian pressed on. I knew he wanted to complete the guard house at the very least before the ladies returned. After the third day, Ian approached me during one of our breaks.

"Hey," he said as he sat down next to me.

"Hey," Travels the Frozen Tundra replied.

"I was going to hold practice tonight. Wanna join us?"

"You mean baseball?"

"Yeah. You know Nate was a competitive guy, and you do have his body. I thought maybe if you learn a little about the game, you might come to like it."

"I don't know."

"_You think he's tough as the boss, you should see him in action when it comes to coaching baseball."_

"Nate says you're a tough coach."

Ian grinned. "I'm not gonna lie. I take my baseball very seriously, and if I think you've got the talent, I'm gonna push you."

"And what makes you think I've got the talent?"

"Nate's got the talent. If you don't believe me, then let him show you."

I didn't say a word. I knew exactly what he was doing.

"I suppose I could give it a try."

"That's the spirit," Ian said as he patted Travels the Frozen Tundra on the shoulder.

He picked up his water bottle and took a swig before rising to his feet. He started to walk away, and then he stopped. He looked down at Travels the Frozen Tundra without making eye contact and said, "I talked to Wanderer last night."

"How is she doing?" Travels the Frozen Tundra asked.

"She's fine. She says they are enjoying themselves in the California sun, and her Dad is spoiling them rotten."

"It's good that she's relaxing."

"Yeah, um…can I speak to the old Nate for a minute?"

"He's listening."

"I miss her, man."

"_I do, too."_

"He says he misses her, too."

"The thing is…" He paused as if wondering if he should continue. "The thing is I'm afraid she'll realize that all the things she had as Pet are things I can never give her."

"_As much as she might like the pleasures that her father can give her in life, her heart is solidly stuck on you. Believe me, I know."_

"Nate says you have no worries. She'll never leave you."

Ian let out a nervous chuckle. "Thanks, but things are different here now. I don't mean the military presence. I mean you."

"I'm sorry." Travels the Frozen Tundra answered. "I can't help you with that."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed deeply. "She told me to let Nate know that she still loves him."

"It seems everyone on the mountain loves Nate."

Ian kicked at the ground. "Nate knows what I mean." Ian turned and walked away.

"_Wow. That had to be tough for him to say."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because she's only supposed to love him. Marriage is a commitment to one person."_

"_But it seems everyone here feels love for each other."_

"_Well, yeah, but there's love and there's in-love."_

"_So, are you saying Wanderer is in-love with you?"_

"_I didn't say it. Ian did."_

"_How does he not hate you?"_

"_Maybe he does. I wouldn't step in front of one of his fast balls if I were you."_

That evening, Travels the Frozen Tundra attended baseball practice. Ian and Kyle had gotten there early. Ian was standing on the mound, and Kyle was behind the plate catching. During the previous baseball game, Ian didn't pitch because he never pitched during the games. It was one of the rules he and I had devised early on. Travels the Frozen Tundra sat on the bench as Ian threw a pitch. The ball shot out of Ian's hand and landed with a thwack in Kyle's glove.

Travels the Frozen Tundra swallowed hard.

"_You're not afraid, are you?"_

"_Should I be?"_

I couldn't help but laugh.

Travels the Frozen Tundra got up and walked toward the back of the field.

"Where ya going'?" Ian asked.

At that moment, the kids came blasting onto the field as a group. Blake made a beeline for Nate.

"Ian says you're gonna practice with us."

"Um…"

"That's cool. Nate didn't usually practice with us 'cause he was always too busy."

"He was?"

"Yeah, but he always played in the games. He and Ian were always the captains. Ian always wins though."

"_I let him win."_

"Nate said he lets Ian win."

Ian came up behind us. "What's this about Nate letting me win?"

"Nate says he always lets you win."

"You know, if Nate was able to use his body, I'd prove him wrong."

"I've thought about that—the winning thing, I mean. You both love Wanderer, and you were the one who she married. We implanted both of you, but you are human, and Nate is now a soul. Sounds to me if I were speaking for Nate, you're the big winner."

Ian stopped dead in his tracks and faced me. "But Nate's the hero. I will never ever forget that, and neither will Wanderer." His voice cracked with emotion. He poked Travels the Frozen Tundra in the chest. "_You _need to realize that you can't be Nate even though you have his body. No one will ever accept you as him! Got that?" He was practically yelling by the time he finished.

"I'm sorry. I don't understand why you are yelling."

"I'm NOT!—yelling." Ian reeled in his anger. "Let's play ball." He walked away.

"_That was really smooth."_

"_I was just stating the obvious."_

"_Tell me something. Let's say you and—I don't know, Patricia were in a hotel, and there was a fire. Only one of you has the chance to make it out because the fire is moving fast. She pushes you into going first knowing her chances of surviving are less than ideal. She dies. You live. How do you feel?"_

"_I feel fortunate."_

"_What about Patricia? How do you feel about her?"_

"_I feel sad."_

"_Of course you feel sad. But she gave her life for you. Don't you feel the least bit guilty for living?"_

"_Should I?"_

"_Do yourself a favor. Take a few days. You need to see Patricia or another comforter. You are so used to invading someone else's body with no emotion that you don't even know how to feel remorse for being the one who's alive when someone else died so you could live that life."_

"_Why should I feel remorse for being alive?"_

"_I can't believe you. You're cold. You know that?"_

"_I think you're being ridiculous."_

"_I can't even relate to you right now."_

"_To tell the truth, I am having trouble relating to all of this."_

"_You seriously need a psychiatrist."_

"_Look. If it will make you happy, I will make arrangements to see Patricia."_

"_Do it soon."_

Two days later, Smiling at the Moon, or "Moon" as the inhabitants of the mountain began calling him drove Travels the Frozen Tundra to the shuttleport in Salmon which was an hour away. Moon accompanied Travels the Frozen Tundra on this first trip since he was still so out of his element when it came to pretty much everything. Moon decided he could visit his own comforter as well as the guys from his old unit. I noticed that Travels the Frozen Tundra paid close attention to everything around him. When we landed in D.C., Moon took a taxi outside the airport to the pentagon. Moon gave him a notebook at the airport, so Travels the Frozen Tundra could take notes. Getting into the pentagon was no easy feat. The taxi could go no further than the gate, so we had to get out and continue on foot. There were several spots where the guards had to call in to get approval in order for us to proceed. Finally, we arrived at a wing of the building where Sergeant Woodfern was waiting for us. He ushered us into a small conference room. There was a variety of beverages available to us, both hot and cold, as well as pastries. Sergeant Woodfern encouraged us to partake.

We had just sat down with our plates when Colonel Jeffries arrived with General Blue Flame in tow. They had a laundry list of questions to ask. Most of them were about how Ian was running the show and how the inhabitants of the mountain were responding to him. Travels the Frozen Tundra couldn't deny that Ian commanded the respect of the others. The harder questions were those that pertained to me. He admitted that it was tough living in my shadow. He told them that more than half of the people on the mountain basically refused to acknowledge him. Of the other half, the women flat out hated him.

Colonel Jeffries asked about Victoria in particular since he had witnessed her tirade and her threats to kill him. Thankfully, he had nothing bad to report as far as Victoria was concerned. She fell into the group that basically ignored him.

The next set of questions was about his ability to gather information that I had been obviously protecting. Without flat out lying, he implied that he was making progress. He said there were times when I let my walls down, and during those times, he had seen glimpses of people he didn't know in places he didn't recognize. When pressed, he said that he felt that given time, he would eventually break down the barriers. It seemed to be enough for now.

Finally, Travels the Frozen Tundra admitted that his lack of time to acclimate to not only the host, but also the ways of the humans had put a strain on him that he wasn't prepared for. Colonel Jeffries seemed concerned and asked if he was thinking about skipping. Travels the Frozen Tundra refused to entertain the idea of skipping, but requested some much needed time with a comforter.

"Of course," Colonel Jeffries replied. "Patricia was anxious to meet with you again."

"Thank you, sir."

"Take three days. Sergeant Smiling at the Moon will be here if you need him, and he will return to the mountain with you."

"Yes, sir."

They left as quickly as they had come leaving me, Moon, and Sergeant Woodfern alone once again. Sergeant Woodfern escorted us to the front gate where another cab was waiting. Moon gave the cab driver the address of the Hotel which Travels the Frozen Tundra jotted down in his notepad. Patricia was waiting in the lobby. She was wearing another dress. This time it was a paisley print number in mauve and red. It accentuated her curves in all the right places. The shoes were three and a half inch spikes in blood red. I don't know what Travels the Frozen Tundra was thinking, but I was dreaming about her doing a little strip tease in my room and…

"_Stop that."_

"_What?"_

"_I know what you're thinking."_

"_There's nothing wrong with what I'm thinking."_

"_That's not what I'm here for."_

"_It should be. You need to get laid, so you can begin to understand human emotion."_

"_Everything is always about sex with you."_

"_Look at how she's dressed."_

"_A hot number."_

"_Steaming."_

Patricia approached us with a smile. "Nathan Downey, it is good to see you again!"

"Thank you."

"_Tell her she looks nice."_

"You look nice."

"I know I'm a little dressed up, but Colonel Jeffries suggested that I take you on a little tour of the city to help you familiarize yourself with the capital of this nation and see how the souls live on this planet."

"That sounds like a good idea. I haven't met many souls, and it seems most, if not all of the humans, dislike me."

"Would you like to put your suitcase in your room and freshen up?"

"Yes, thank you."

Twenty minutes later, we were in a taxi headed for the mall, a two mile strip of grassy land which spanned between the Capitol Building and the Lincoln Memorial and was often used for the massive crowds that attended special events as well as for tourists walking from one attraction to the next. It was only a few miles from our hotel. The taxi dropped us at the Capitol Building. We took a tour, and the guide was very informative. I had taken this same tour many years ago when I was in high school. I let a memory slip from those days when I was so impressionable. I had dreams of making it to Washington. I wanted to be in politics.

"_Interesting. Politics, huh?"_

"_Why do you think I was the leader of my family on the mountain?"_

"_You're getting weaker."_

"_No, I'm not."_

"_I saw your mother. I felt your emotion."_

"_You want emotion? I'll show you emotion!" _With that I bombarded him with a memory of me and Gina walking across the field with a basket of her clean laundry when I asked her why she never got pregnant considering she had supposedly been raped many times. I'd never forget the explosive response I got from her. I let the memory slip.

"Let me carry it for you," I remembered saying to Gina as we finished up her laundry in the root cellar.

It had been raining all day. I remembered that we had walked in silence for a bit, and then I blurted out the question that had been bothering me for days. "Why is it you have no children?"

She creased her forehead. "What?"

I remembered telling her I always used a condom when she and I had sex; point being that I had Burns to get me what I needed—when I needed the condoms.

"_I pretty much accused her of lying about being raped because I was sure she had never been pregnant."_

"_Why are you telling me this?"_

I did answer his question. I continued with the memory.

"_She was incensed, and her actions showed it."_

"Give me my basket," she barked as she ripped the basket from my hands and marched off toward the cave.

"Why are you mad?" I said as I walked along side of her.

She stopped dead in her tracks. "What makes you think I've never been pregnant?" she growled.

"Because your body is perfect. I've seen what pregnancy does to a woman's body. You've never given birth."

"AND I PROBABLY NEVER WILL! I HATE YOU, NATHAN DOWNEY!" She threw her basket of clothes at me and stormed off.

"GINA!" I called out.

"_I remember being confused by her reaction. I never even considered the answer she eventually gave me."_

Her clean clothes lay in a heap on the rain soaked ground. I knelt down and picked up the clothes and placed them back in the basket. I carried the basket to the entrance of the cave. I put them down just inside and continued to her room.

"Gina?" I called out in a soft voice as I entered her room. I could hear her sobbing. I clicked on the lantern. She was lying in the fetal position with her back to me, and she was rocking back and forth as she cried. I knelt by her side and touched her shoulder. "Gina?"

She told me to go away, but I begged her to talk to me.

"Leave me alone!" she replied.

I didn't back down. "Gina, please."

"GET…OUT!" she screamed.

I backed away and left her.

"_I remember turning the words over and over in my head. 'And I probable never will.' What the hell does that mean? In my mind, I thought I could possibly make amends if I rewashed her laundry, so I picked up her laundry basket and returned to the root cellar. I spent the next hour trying to figure out what could have sent her over the edge. I remember thinking that she must have been pregnant at some point, but I'd seen her body, and there were no scars from pregnancy. I could only speculate that she had lost the baby or maybe it was babies. I even considered that her anger may have been because she was hoping I would knock her up." _

"_So what happened?" _Travels the Frozen Tundra asked.

The memory resumed with me finishing the laundry and returning to the cave hell bent on getting an answer. When I entered her room, the light was still on, and she was asleep.

I knelt next to her on the mattress. I reached out and pulled the hair from her face.

"Hey," I said in a soft voice.

She rolled toward me and opened her eyes.

"Are you all right?"

"No, I'm damaged. Can't you see that?"

"_Damaged—I remember the word echoed in my head. I didn't think she was damaged. I thought she was damn near the perfect lover. I apologized for upsetting her. I told her that I rewashed her laundry, and then I got up to leave. That's when she broke my heart."_

"I was pregnant once," she said barely above a whisper.

I stopped in my tracks.

"There was this guy. He was the leader of our group," she said as she sat up on her mattress. "His name was John. Everyone called him Big John."

I gave her my undivided attention.

She took a deep breath. "Most of the guys who had sex with me took me from behind. I guess they didn't want to see my face."

"_She insinuated that she was ugly."_

I caressed her face. "You're beautiful to me." Then I leaned forward and kissed her lips.

"Big John liked my breasts. He liked to suck on them."

"_I completely understood his obsession with her breasts," _I interjected as the memory continued to play out in my head.

"He was gone for a few weeks. That's when I realized I was pregnant. I missed two periods. He came back, and the first thing he wanted was me. I wasn't really in the mood, but he slapped me and he told me to do as I was told. I was fifteen at the time. I couldn't fight back."

"_I remember thinking that Sarah is only fifteen, and I can't even imagine her kissing a boy, let alone having sex. This guy, Big John, was a full grown adult. God, I remember the pain on her face." _I lamented to Travels the Frozen Tundra.

Gina continued her story as my memory unfolded the details.

"I took off my clothes, and he went for my breasts. They were tender because of the pregnancy, and I pulled away because it hurt."

"_I felt guilty because I adored her breasts. I actually apologized for my obsession. She told me that I wasn't at all like Big John."_

At that moment, the memory of her pain made me feel sick.

"_What are you doing to me?" _Travels the Frozen Tundra asked. _"I don't feel so good."_

"_Shut up,"_ I growled. _"You wanted a memory; you got it."_

In my memory, Gina took my hand and placed it upon her breast as a gesture to me. I caressed her nipple with my thumb through her clothing. "Go on," I implored.

She continued in a voice barely above a whisper. "He was surprised when I pulled away. That's when he took a good look at me, saw my belly, and realized I was pregnant."

"_I remember the pain on her face as she turned away from me."_

Then she said, "He was pissed. He said there was no room for a baby." Her voice hitched. "He knocked me down, and he kicked me…again and again in my abdomen." She began to cry.

Travels the Frozen Tundra responded. _"No! Make it stop!"_

"_No! You wanted to see my memories! Deal with it! She was a child who should have been given the chance to experience love and sex like a normal teenager. Instead, she was forced by your kind to go on the run!"_

"_She didn't have to run. She could have been implanted. She'd be safe right now."_

"_She'd be dead right now. A hollow host for your kind, like Wanda's body was when they implanted Pet into her."_

"_And yet, you profess your love for Wanderer, a soul."_

"_That soul gave back the first body to its rightful owner, and I can assure you if the original owner was still present in Pet's body, Wanda would have given that host back, too. That's what makes her so special and easy to love."_

There was silence between us.

"_There's more to this memory."_

"_Does it get any better?"_

"_Yes and no. I suppose it depends on how you look at it." _I continued the memory with Gina telling me the story. She was sobbing as she spoke.

"Another man tried to stop him, but he beat the shit out of him, and then he kicked me until I miscarried." She broke down. My own tears blurred my vision. All I could do was hold her. We both cried for a long time before she regained her voice.

"After that no one bothered me for a while. It was few months before John came to me again demanding satisfaction. Kevin, the guy who tried to protect me offered to run away with me."

I used my thumbs to wipe away her tears.

"He said he would never try to hurt me; so one night, he and I snuck out and took off. We were on the run for two years. He never once tried to touch me."

"_You're right. It depends on how you look at it. What about the guy? Is he on the mountain?"_

"_No. He was caught and probably disposed of."_

"Nathan? Where are you?"

Travels the Frozen Tundra looked at Patricia. "Huh?"

"This is our stop."

"Oh." He slid out of the seat and followed Patricia off the bus.

Once outside, Patricia confronted him. "Really, you were a million miles away. You didn't hear a word I said to you, did you?"

"I'm sorry, Patricia. I was learning about my host."

"Nate? He provided you with a memory?"

"_Don't tell her about, Gina. I beg of you."_

"Yes. He came here, to Washington when he was a child. He had dreams of becoming a politician."

"I see."

"_Thank you."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra spent the rest of the day with Patricia. After dinner, she invited him to join her for drinks. He accepted without hesitation. I understood the implications, but I wasn't so sure he did.

"_She wants to get you loose, so she can seduce you."_

"_Loose?"_

"_Drunk."_

"_I don't like being drunk."_

"_I don't think she wants to get you plastered. She just wants you to loosen up and let you guard down. Alcohol has been proven to promote sexual activities."_

"_Ah, I guess that makes sense. I remember Kyle and Ian saying some pretty suggestive things about Wanderer."_

"_Kyle and Ian are cavemen. Are you going to be able to do this?"_

"_I don't know."_

"_I'm willing to take over if you are afraid of looking stupid."_

"_You think I'll look stupid?"_

"_Oh no, not at all."_

"_You're lying!"_

"_Face it. You're a virgin."_

"_You do it."_

"_She knows you are a virgin. I'm sure she'll be gentle."_

Patricia handed Travels the Frozen Tundra a drink. "It's a whiskey sour. I hope you like it."

Travels the Frozen Tundra took a long pull not realizing it wasn't like beer. "Whoa! That's—uh—good!"

She batted her eyes at him. "I'm glad you like it."

Patricia went to the TV and turned it to a music station. Soft music filled the room. She approached Travels the Frozen Tundra.

"Do you think you know how to dance?"

"Dance?"

"_Oh, boy."_

She moved lithely toward him. "Yes. You know, you hold me in your arms, and we move to the music."

"Uh…"

He was obviously out of his comfort zone, not that he actually had a comfort zone to speak of.

"_Just pull her to your chest and wrap your arm around her back."_

"Don't worry; I'll help you," Patricia said with a smile.

She grabbed his hands and held them. "Just close your eyes and feel the music."

"_I thought you said to pull her to my chest?"_

"_Just follow her lead."_

Travels the Frozen Tundra cautiously closed eyes.

"There, do you feel the beat?"

"Uh-huh."

Patricia tried to get him to move by tugging on his hand, but she ended up pulling him off balance.

He opened his eyes. "I—don't think I can do this."

"Sure you can."

"_Oh, Jesus. Why don't you just give me control for a few minutes, and I'll give you a lesson on how to move my body."_

"_She'll know."_

"_So tell her you are going to let me have control for a little bit."_

"_Are you crazy?"_

"_Like a fox. Indulge me. I promise you it will be worth your while."_

"Patricia?"

"Yes, Nathan?"

"You know I communicate with my host."

"I know."

"He's asked me to relinquish control for just a bit."

She released his hands and backed up; a look of worry replaced her pleasant smile.

"What?"

"He said he can teach me how to dance."

She looked away. "I don't know."

"_She'll be fine."_

"_Okay, no funny business."_

Suddenly, the room came in to focus. There was no more tunnel vision. I was back, but for how long?

"_I wouldn't waste my time if I were you."_

"_Right." _My gaze met Patricia's as he stood several feet away wringing her hands. She looked frightened. I needed to make her feel at ease. I placed one hand behind my back and extended the other to her in a gentlemanly fashion. She cautiously placed her hand in mine. At that moment, the song ended. A new song began to play that wasn't to my liking. I released her hand.

"Excuse me."

I walked to the bed and picked up the remote. I flipped though a series of music channels until I heard the opening notes to a song by Lionel Ritchie. It was perfect. I cruised across the room with confidence as Lionel's melodic voice filled the room. _"I've been alone with you inside my mind. And in my dreams, I've kissed your lips—a thousand times…"_

It was ironic how the words could easily apply to my situation. She seemed at ease as she reached for my hand. I pulled her to my chest with a gentle tug and wrapped my arm firmly around her waist, allowing my hand to rest at the small of her back. She slipped her free hand in the crook between my thumb and forefinger. Her eyes were fixed on mine. I could sense her apprehension even though she tried to present herself in a calm and collected manner.

I spoke calmly and confidently. "That dress is very flattering to your figure."

"You're the real Nate?" she asked.

"For now," I replied, unsure of how long I would remain in control.

We began to dance. The words of the song continued to speak for me: _"Cause I wonder where you are—And I wonder what you do—Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?"_

"Are you afraid?" I asked.

"No." She sounded genuine.

I smiled at her. "Good." With that, I took control and spun her around the room with the grace of Gene Kelly.

"Wow!" she said in surprise. "You really can dance."

"I am adept at many things."

I spun her again, and this time she stepped into it with ease. She came back smiling at her accomplishment.

"Nice."

"Thank- you." She released my hand and gently slid her hand along the length of my arm, across my shoulder, and let it rest at the back of my neck. We continued to dance, and I felt a warmth spread throughout my body as we stepped smoothly in continuous circles. I missed being able to feel the physical things.

The song came to a dramatic ending, and we stood in each others arms waiting for the next song to begin. I was debating whether or not to kiss her. I looked into her eyes, and I wondered if she was thinking the same thing.

A few seconds later, an upbeat song began, interrupting my moment of indecision. I couldn't place the song. It must have come out some time after the takeover. It had a good beat, so I decided to throw in a little Latin flair. Patricia quickly picked up on the steps, and soon, we were dancing in sync with each other. I was enjoying the song and dancing with her, all the while trying not to dwell on the fact that it was only a temporary condition.

The next song was another old one. It was Barbra Streisand. I hadn't heard her voice in years. The song began, _"Mem-ries, light the corners of my mind. Misty water-colored memories—of the way we were."_ I immediately thought of Gina and the fact that I had not only lost her, but I was indeedstuck in the corner of my own mind.

My vision became cloudy as the tears welled up in my eyes. I turned my head, but not before Patricia noticed the tear that slipped from the corner of my eye.

"Nathan, are you okay?"

I turned to face her. "No."

She wiped the tear from my cheek.

"Do you realize the last memory in my own body will be dancing with you?"

A worried look enveloped her face as her eyebrows pulled together creating deep creases between them.

"Is that a bad thing?" she asked.

"No, of course not," I stammered.

She chewed on her bottom lip as we rocked back and forth to the music.

"It's just…"

"Shhh…" She placed her fingers over my lips. "I understand."

"No, you don't understand!" I lamented.

She placed her hand on my cheek. "It doesn't mean I can't feel sad for you."

I could tell she wanted to kiss me. She had that look in her eyes. I wanted to kiss her, too, but…

She slowly leaned in. I should have pushed her away, but I didn't.

I felt a spark that I hadn't felt in a long time when her lips touched mine. My senses came alive. I could smell the peach flavor of her lipstick even before I tasted it. I caved like a ton of bricks to her soft, full lips. I reached for her neck and cradled her head with both hands. She was hungry, and so was I. I hadn't had sex in what seemed like eons. As our tongues caressed each other, my dick responded.

Suddenly, everything was dark again—tunnel vision. _"Damn it!"_

Travels the Frozen Tundra broke the kiss abruptly.

"_Damn you!"_

"_You said dance. You didn't say anything about seducing her."_

"_She was seducing me!"_

"Nathan?" Patricia asked.

"You were going to have sex with him!" Travels the Frozen Tundra bellowed.

"No, I wasn't!" Patricia retorted.

"You kissed him!"

"Because I felt sorry for him!"

I knew that kiss was not an 'I feel sorry for you kiss'. I kept my thoughts to myself and let the fight continue.

"So now you're sympathizing with the humans?"

"First of all, I had never met a human until today. Second of all, I am a comforter, and he needed comforting."

"So you deemed making out with him would comfort him?"

"Yes. I wanted to give him a good memory to keep with him. What's so wrong with that?"

"Do you know he was ready to throw you down and have sex with you?"

I wanted to defend myself, but the truth is I would have taken her any way that I could.

Patricia's face turned, red and she quickly turned away. A moment later, she composed herself and turned to face him.

"You're jealous," she surmised; the corners of her mouth twisting into a smile.

"No."

"Yes. You know it was you I wanted to kiss."

"_Go ahead. Finish what I started. She's easy pickin's now."_

"_She wants you, not me."_

"_She wants what's hanging between your legs."_

"I think you should go," he said coldly.

"Nathan!"

"I'm going to ask for a different comforter."

"Please don't do that. If you want only the standard comforting, I will give that to you, but please don't report me as a sympathizer. I like my job."

"Fine."

Travels the Frozen Tundra escorted Patricia to the door.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" Patricia asked.

"Don't you have an office somewhere?"

"Of course. If you prefer to meet there, I can send a taxi to pick you up."

"No need. I'll manage."

"Are you sure?"

"Remember, I have your lover in my head. He can get me there."

"Nathan, you seem very angry. That is very unlike a soul."

"Most souls aren't carrying around extra baggage in their head."

"_Fuck you," _I growled.

"Try to get some sleep. We'll talk about it tomorrow. Remember, you catch more flies with honey."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he said clearly not understanding the implication of the statement.

"It means human life is short. Be nice."

Patricia exited the hotel room, and Travels the Frozen Tundra closed the door behind her.

"_Just so you know—you'll never get that kind of sympathy from me again."_

"_You call that sympathy? Let me out, get me all worked up, and then push me back into my hole?"_

"_I trusted you."_

"_You shouldn't. I would do anything to get my body back."_

"_I'll keep that in mind."_

That was the last of the conversation between us.

18


	84. Chapter 84

**So, I know it's been a while, but I've finally gotten back to writing about my favorite guy. It's a short chapter, but a pivotal one, and I've already started the next chapter. I hope you like it.**

FORD'S DEEP WATER

THAT NIGHT WHILE HE SLEPT, my mind didn't. I was angry. Being given temporary use of my body only made me more desperate. I didn't know what I could possibly do since I couldn't communicate with the outside world. I thought if I could just get him to say, "help me" to the right person, they might actually help. In the end, I decided my best course of action was to shut up altogether. I figured if he was going to control his body, he'd have to figure shit out on his own.

In the morning, Travels the Frozen Tundra asked me how to get a taxi. I didn't answer him. I was tired, and I didn't really give a damn. He ended up calling the front desk of the hotel, and they summoned the taxi for him.

I slept through his visit with Patricia. I slept through dinner. I assumed he ate. I woke after he was asleep. His eyes were the windows of this jail I was being held captive in. Since he was asleep, it seemed more like a dungeon. I spent the night thinking about my loved ones on the mountain. I missed them all—except Evan. I didn't miss him. In truth, I was wallowing in my own misery. I dwelled on the missed opportunities I had allowed to slip by because of my obsession with Wanda. It was true that I loved her, but I should have known I'd never beat out Ian. It was obvious even when she left him to come to the mountain that she was trying too hard to make things between us work.

The biggest mistake of my life was pushing Gina away, and now she was with that self-righteous jerk, Evan. She seemed happy—most of the time. I just had this gut feeling that he was going to hurt her. I don't know why. Maybe I was afraid she was too damaged for his puritan ideals, or maybe, I hated him because he was better than me. I didn't want to think about it anymore.

I thought about Maria. The look in her eyes when she first realized that I had been implanted would stay with me forever. She was absolutely devastated. I was sure she'd rather I was dead. At least, she'd have closure. She never talked to me anymore. On the other hand, Wanda and Tori took every opportunity to communicate with me. They'd look deep into my eyes, past the soul that inhabited my body, and beg me not to give up, touting they'd find a way. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear the two of them were plotting a way to remove Travel's the Frozen Tundra from my body. As much as I would love for that to happen, I knew such a move would only cement the demise of the clan.

No, I made the conscious decision to save my people even if it was an offer I didn't have the option to turn down. I was the victim, but the humans saw me as a hero. As much as I wanted to take relish in dying a hero, I was depressed because I wasn't really dead at all, just trapped in my own head.

My eyes opened, and I saw the first light of morning. Travels the Frozen Tundra got up slowly from his bed. It seemed that he wasn't in the best of moods either. I hadn't really been paying attention to his actions in the last twenty-four hours. I was curious as to what may have him down.

"_Problem?" _I asked.

"_As if you don't know," _he grumbled.

"_Actually, I don't. I was—asleep," _I said for lack of a better word.

"_Patricia and I—we had—sex."_

"_Yeah?"_

"_And now I'm going home."_

I was happy to hear we were going home. _"Oh, thank God."_

"_I'm going to ask for a new comforter."_

"_Gonna play the field?"_

"_A male comforter."_

"_You're gay?" _I couldn't help myself. I found it difficult to believe that he could disappoint her with this body.

"_Shut up," _he snapped.

I was smiling on the inside. He was a douche, and he deserved whatever she said to him. I shut up and waited patiently for the taxi to arrive to take us to the shuttle. It was a quiet ride home. Our arrival on the mountain was met with no fanfare. The closest I got to warmth was Burns. He greeted me by saying, "Nate, are you still with us?"

I guess Burns got his answer when Travels the Frozen Tundra responded, "Shut up."

As the next few days went by, I could feel the frustration that Travels the Frozen Tundra was feeling. I just wasn't sure if it was because of Patricia or if he was just frustrated over the fact that he was just not fitting in. I was secretly hoping that he would give up and allow me to take control of my body, but I knew if anything, he would bail, and they'd put someone else in—possibly someone worse. I decided to keep my vow of silence in the hopes things would work themselves out.

Wanda and Sunny returned to the mountain on Saturday to a great deal of excitement. Of course, Ian and Kyle were beside themselves with joy. Travels the Frozen Tundra happened upon Wanda and Ian as they made their way to the house which was now completely painted and furnished. Wanda looked almost happy to see me. Travels the Frozen Tundra walked toward them and stopped a few feet away.

Travels the Frozen Tundra addressed Wanda. "I'm glad you are back. You were missed around here. You bring joy to this place." He sounded sincere which surprised me considering he had been so cranky since we had returned from Washington.

"Thank you," Wanda replied. "Tell my Nate that I thought of him often."

"He heard you," Travels the Frozen Tundra replied. He continued on his trek toward the house. I got the feeling that was not the answer he was hoping for. I think he was hoping Wanda would be more accommodating to him, not me.

Wanda and Ian, and Sunny and Kyle were noticeably missing for the rest of the afternoon, but they made an appearance to eat a celebration dinner with the rest of the clan at the clubhouse. Wanda made it a point to come up to me. She looked at Frozen the Travels Tundra as if he wasn't there and addressed me.

"Nate, I want you to know that I wore my watch the whole time I was gone. Look, I even got a tan line because I wore it in the pool! I missed your smiling face. I hope you're still fighting because I talked to my dad. He said he is going to talk to the president."

"What is with the women on this planet?" Travels the Frozen Tundra blurted out. "You're all whores and bitches!"

Ian sprang to his feet. "I think you owe my wife an apology, asshole."

"Or what? You're going to kill me? Go ahead, kill me. You'll be killing Nate, too. Is that what you want?"

Burns jumped to his feet. "Whoa, nobody's going to kill anyone. Why don't we sit down and eat the meal that Maria spent all day preparing for us?"

"He's right, Ian," Wanda replied.

The situation was diffused, and after dinner, Burns stayed close to me. I was sure he was just trying to keep the peace.

Another week went by. I saw very little of Wanda. She avoided the gameroom in the evenings. Sometimes, Ian would show up to play poker, but he never drank, and he never stayed past ten o'clock. Travels the Frozen Tundra drank every night. I suppose he was trying to drown his emotions. I remained quiet. On the occasion when Travels the Frozen Tundra did come in contact with Wanda, she remained vigilante in her mission to keep Nate, the man she claimed to love, alive. Although it made me happy to hear her words, it always sent Travels the Frozen Tundra into a downward spiral. I was sure Wanda had no idea the effect her words had on him.

Travels the Frozen Tundra was eating breakfast at the guard shack with Sergeant Smiling at the Moon, who had taken on the nickname of Moon by most of the clan. He was pretty well liked by most of the people on the mountain, probably because no one knew the human whose body he inhabited. It was just easier to accept a soul who didn't have a human inside fighting for his life. Moon seemed like a happy guy. He was young and single and possessed a sense of humor, which was important under the circumstances. Travels the Frozen Tundra seemed to gravitate toward Moon for companionship.

They were having a conversation about the new building that Ian proposed we build. The guard shack and the bunkhouse for the military that remained on the premises were complete with the exception of the plumbing. Ian's father was the designated plumber with the help of Hector and his son, Carlos. Ian, Burns, and Nate had started the construction business and decided plumbing would be for someone with more experience.

So, Ian was ready to start on the next project. It seemed the clan was split on whether to build a general store, so the people would be able to acquire the things they needed without having to go through Burns or one of the other souls when they were planning a trip to town, or to begin building a house for Tom, Kim, and Priscilla. After all, they were part of the original clan, and the fact that Kim wanted another baby was a good reason for them to have a home of their own. Of course, Travels the Frozen Tundra was leaning toward the general store because he felt it was an enormous pain to have to shop for the others by request.

A dark sedan pulled up the road and stopped at the guard shack. As the driver came to a stop and rolled down the window, we were greeted by none other than Fords Deep Water.

"Sir, what brings you here to our little community?" Moon asked.

"Well, I promised Wanderer that I would look in on her. Thought I'd offer my services to anyone who needs it while I'm here."

"I'm sure Wanderer will be thrilled to see you. You may proceed," Moon replied.

"Thank you, and Travels the Frozen Tundra, I hope you and I can spend some time together as well."

"I'd like that," Travels the Frozen Tundra replied.

With that, Fords Deep Water continued up the road toward the house. Today was Sunday, a day of rest. Those of us who worked for the good of the community were taking the day off to enjoy the nice weather and catch up on personal things. For Travels the Frozen Tundra, that encompassed laundry and a quick trip to town. Unlike the other souls, he never broadcasted his intended trips because he didn't want to be handed lists to be filled by the others. He completed his two loads of laundry and informed Burns of his trip to town. As usual, Burns was accommodating and allowed Travels the Frozen Tundra to take his truck. I was quiet as usual. I didn't comment when he stopped in at the local pub for lunch and a few beers. He didn't attempt to talk to any of the other patrons in the bar. Instead, he kept to himself, ate his lunch, and quietly left after finishing his second Budweiser. Now I'm no psychiatrist, but if I had to guess, I'd say he was definitely suffering from depression. He seemed no happier being in my body than I was having him there.

After dinner, he hung out in the gameroom with Moon and Ice and shot a few games of pool, and of course, he pounded down a couple of beers. I thought it odd that no one made mention of the amount of alcohol he was consuming on a daily basis, but then again, I suppose no one really gave a crap. After all, he wasn't me.

At ten o'clock, he decided to call it a night and headed to the bunkhouse. He ran into Fords Deep Water, who was coming down the path from the direction of the house.

"Hey!" he said with a smile. "Nice night for a walk."

"I was just turning in," Travels the Frozen Tundra replied.

"Why don't you join me? We could talk."

Travels the Frozen Tundra seemed hesitant at first, but he accepted, and the two walked at a leisurely pace toward the baseball field.

"So, how are you liking your time here on earth?"

"It's fine," Travels the Frozen Tundra said curtly.

"You don't sound fine. You know taking on this particular body is definitely fraught with difficulties considering the situation."

"True. I guess I wasn't aware of just how difficult this would be."

"I see. Are you sorry you came to earth?"

"Honestly?"

"I wouldn't want anything but the truth."

"If I had the chance to get out, I would—but I don't want to be a coward."

"What if I said I could help you?"

Travels the Frozen Tundra stopped abruptly. "Can you kill Nate and make it look like an accident?"

My mind went into a panic. _"Hold on. You want to murder me?"_

"_Shut up."_

"Now I didn't say anything about killing anyone. Sometimes, things happen. You could be on your way to another planet and live a life you deserve to live."

"At least, when I was a bear, I knew what to expect. There were no emotional surprises."

"Emotions are difficult here on earth. I've seen the souls change over the last seven years. Even peaceful souls have allowed their emotions to get the best of them. It's even happened to me."

"What about the body?"

"You let me take care of that. I mean you don't have any ties to any of these humans, do you?"

"No. not a one."

"Come with me to the root cellar. I have a cryo tank in my car. I can help you out of this misery."

"_What about me? They'll surely dispose of me!"_

"_You wanted your body back. You've got it. Let the chips fall where they may."_

"_NO! You'll destroy EVERYTHING!"_

I tried with all my might to stop him from walking. I was powerless. Travels the Frozen Tundra escorted Fords Deep Water to his car, where he retrieved his black bag and a small suitcase which obviously contained the cryo tank. He turned to Travels the Frozen Tundra.

"I have to do this alone or they will try to stop me. You do understand, don't you?"

"I understand."

Travels the Frozen Tundra followed Fords Deep Water to the root cellar. They walked in silence in the humid summer night. Only Burns and Fords Deep Water were sleeping in the house tonight. Kyle and Sunny had given up their room for the good doctor to spend the night. Even if I could have managed a scream, there was no one around to hear it. Fords Deep Water laid out his instruments on a towel on the table. He took one of the cots and placed it in the middle of the room.

"Here you go. Lie down," he instructed.

"You sure you can do this?" Travels the Frozen Tundra asked.

"I'm a healer. I put you into this body; I can certainly take you out. Do you want to live a miserable life on earth or do you want to be happy? This is up to you. I can stop if you want."

"No one will know?"

"Nate will disappear. No one will know anything. Trust me."

"And the community?"

"Will be no concern of yours. You'll be millions of miles away by then."

Travels the Frozen Tundra sat on the edge of the cot. "I don't know. They'll think I ran off. They'll see me as weak. A seeker doesn't run away."

At that moment, the phone rang. "I need to take this," Fords Deep Water exclaimed.

"Sure, I can get that for you. I'll meet you at the house."

"I need to deliver some No Pain to Burns at the house. Care to come along? You can take the time to think about what you want to do."

"_You don't want to do this man," _

"_Listen to yourself. You don't care about me. You just care about yourself."_

"_I care about all those people. They will be killed if I disappear. They'll think one of them murdered me."_

"_That's not my problem."_

"_SKIPPER!"_

"_I'm not a skipper."_

"_Sure, you are!"_

We stepped outside the root cellar. Burns and Ice met us halfway up the path leading to the house. Ice approached Travels the Frozen Tundra and slung his arm around his shoulders.

"How are you feeling?" he said in almost a joyful tone.

"I'm okay," Travels the Frozen Tundra replied.

"That's great!" Burns answered.

And then everything went black.

The first thing to return was my sense of hearing. I couldn't move and I couldn't open my eyes. I could only listen.

"I can't believe you are doing this." It was Burns's voice.

"He deserved it." I recognized Fords Deep Water's voice.

I suddenly remembered the events that led up to my lying here. _They're going to destroy the clan! Why? Why would Burns turn on those who love him? _I managed to let out a squeak of panic.

"He's coming to."

"Burns?" I mumbled.

"Yeah, buddy. I'm right here."

"Why?"

"He'll be a little disoriented for a bit," Fords Deep Water explained. "Open your eyes, Nate."

I tried to open my eyes, but they felt heavy, and I had to close them again.

"It's okay. Take your time," Burns said in a soothing voice.

Suddenly, I felt whole again. My eyes popped open, and I jerked to a sitting position. My first thought was to run before they murdered me.

"Whoa!" Burns cried out as he tried to get me to lie back down. "There's no rush, buddy!"

"Why would you destroy the clan?" I blurted out.

"You need to relax," Fords Deep Water announced. "This has been a very traumatic experience. Let me give you something to calm you down."

"No! I don't want to calm down! I want you to put that troll back into my body before they kill us all!"

It took both Burns and Ice to hold me down.

"Nobody is going to kill anyone," Burns said through gritted teeth. "You've got to trust me. I'm your best friend, and I wouldn't do anything to hurt you or my clan."

"Then how?" I was still fighting.

"Relax, and we'll explain it to you. I couldn't tell you while Travels the Frozen Tundra was still in control of your body, or he would have blown everything," Fords Deep Water explained.

"Now, will you stop fighting, so we can explain?" Burns asked.

"Okay, fine. Talk."

I stopped fighting, and they slowly eased their grip on me.

"Damn! If I knew you were going to fight that hard, I would have brought Ian to hold you down," Burns said as he took a deep breath.

Ice moved away and stood near the door. He was obviously the guard. I just wasn't sure if he was guarding the door to keep me in or to keep others out.

Fords Deep Water cleared his throat and then spoke. "Without getting into too much detail, I am secretly working with a covert group of humans who managed to survive the initial attack on this planet and remained in hiding while they watched, gathered information, and plotted a way to be able to live among the souls unnoticed."

"I don't get it," I said.

"Think about it, Nate. If I let you out that door right now, what is the one thing that would give you away?"

"That's easy. My eyes."

"You are correct, my friend."

I looked at him like he was crazy. "You want me to wear sunglasses for the rest of my life? I don't think that's going to work."

"I agree." Fords Deep Water took a deep breath. "Nate, have you ever worn contacts?"

"What? No," and then I got it. The light went on in my head. "You have contacts?"

"I do."

"But how?"

"Remember, I am the one who implanted Travels the Frozen Tundra in the first place. I just took a few measurements of your eyes when he first woke up. He didn't know what or why I was doing it."

"So you planned this from the beginning?"

"Well, I hoped I would get approval from those that would allow me to get my hands on the contacts. This is a very well kept secret and if you choose to do this, you must be very vigilante in who you trust with your secret."

"Who can I tell?"

"As few people as possible."

"Wanda?"

"I think Wanda would be a good choice. She has proven her loyalty to the human race."

"Who else?"

"Again, I can only advise you, but I would think only those you trust and who would have your best interest at heart."

"I trust everyone in my family."

"You shouldn't. Choose only a few and remind them that a quick change in attitude could send signals to the others that something is amiss. The souls must think that they eventually came to accept the new Nate, and that cannot happen overnight."

I thought about how despondent Travels the Frozen Tundra had been in recent weeks.

"What about Washington?"

"You are going to have to convince them that you are Travels the Frozen Tundra. This is one of the reasons why I waited so long to do this. I needed you to be comfortable with his mannerisms. You are going to have to fake it for awhile until you evolve into a new Nate. Are you up for the challenge?"

"Are you kidding? I'm me! I can't believe it!"

"It's going to take you a while to get used to the contacts. In the beginning, I suggest you spend some time alone, away from the others, so you can take the contacts out and allow your eyes some rest."

"How long is that going to take?"

"A week or two. Then you'll be able to wear them round the clock."

"Can I sleep with them?"

"Eventually. I suggest taking them out when you sleep alone."

"Let me put them in."

"Okay. First, try touching your finger to your eyeball. Can you do that?"

"I don't know. It's not like I've ever done that before."

"Here's a mirror. Try it."

I looked in the mirror and found it wasn't difficult at all to touch my eyeball as long as I wasn't putting my finger directly over the pupil. Fords Deep Water put the first contact into my eye.

"And that's how it's done."

"Holy shit. That is fucking awesome," I said as I looked at the silver circle in my eye.

"Okay, let's see if you can do it."

I had a tough time getting the contact in. Fords Deep Water had me practice again and again until I was able to do it without too much effort. When he was satisfied with my ability, he reminded me that I was the new Nate, not the old one. By the time the trio walked me back to the bunkhouse, it was very late.

"You need to sleep. Tomorrow is a very important day."

"Sleep? Who can sleep? I'm wound up like a top!"

"I can give you something that'll knock you out if you want."

"Maybe you should," Burns suggested.

Fords Deep Water pulled a small red bag out of his black medical bag and handed it to me. "There are five sets of contacts in there. They should hold you for a few months." He shuffled through his bag and came up with a spray canister. "Sleep. Just spray it in front of you and take a big whiff. It'll knock you out pretty quickly, so make sure you are in the bed when you do it. You'll sleep like a baby for about six hours."

"What about the contacts?"

"I'd leave them in while you are sharing space on the bunkhouse. I'll be leaving tomorrow before dinner, so you can have your room back in the house."

"Okay, thanks."

Burns came forward and gave me a big hug. "Glad to have you back, man."

"I'm glad to be back."

I entered the bunkhouse with Ice.

"For what it's worth, it's going to be tough keeping this secret from Heidi."

"Well, I hope you think this is a secret worth keeping."

"It's the only secret worth keeping. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night." I entered the room with the bunk beds. Tonight, I was sharing my room with Doc and Candy. On the date of my return as Travels the Frozen Tundra, it was deemed that Ian's parents move into my room at the cave since it had a queen sized bed. After all, as a soul, I wasn't allowed to sleep in the cave. The two master bedrooms in the bunkhouse housed Kyle and Sunny in one room and Ice and Heidi in the other. It made sense considering Ice and Sunny were not allowed to sleep in the cave either. That left the two rooms with the bunkbeds. Hector, Carlos, and Dean took one of the rooms and the other was given to Doc and Candy since they weren't a couple. I was designated to sleep in the bunkhouse while Fords Deep Water was visiting. After all, he was a special guest. Everyone else with the exception of Lily, Ian, and Wanda still slept in the cave. I got ready for bed in the dark quickly and quietly so as not to disturb Doc and Candy. I lay in the bed and realized pretty quickly that my brain was not going to shut down anytime soon. I sighed deeply and picked up the canister. I sprayed it in front of my face and took a deep breath. I barely got the can back on the nightstand before I could feel the effects. I curled up and hugged my pillow and promptly fell asleep.

10


	85. Chapter 85

**So, my last chapter was a short one, but I made up for it with a long chapter. Nate is back!**

**Oh yeah, and For the Love of Brynn: Book 1 – Love Comes Easy in kindle version is on sale right now till the 5****th**** of July for the low low price of $2.99. It is regularly $7.99. There IS no better time to delve into Brynn's life, loves, and adventures.**

THE OLD NEW NATE

I STRETCHED AND OPENED MY EYES. I was alone in the room. I had no idea what time it was. I quickly got up and headed for the bathroom. I passed Ice in the hall and kept my head down simply because I wasn't sure if my contacts we in or out or what. I admit I was nervous. I closed the door and looked in the mirror. A flood of relief flowed through me as I saw the shiny glint of silver in my eyes. I decided then and there that my first stop was going to be Wanda and Ian's place. I could hear the rain in the roof, so I knew they would be there. No use rushing out the door if he couldn't work.

As I walked the worn path toward the baseball field, I thought about how I would break the news to Wanda and Ian. Suddenly, I heard Ian in my thoughts. _"Nate, you think I'm afraid of a little competition? And you, Travels the Frozen Tundra, let me tell you something. I would rather have Nate, the human; kiss my wife every single day than to deal with the likes of you." _That's the moment I decided I would announce my return with a kiss. I was smiling as I walked up to the door. I pulled the hood of my jacket off of my head, so she would see that it was me. I knocked on the door with three hard raps. After a minute, she pulled the door open. She didn't look happy to see me.

"Hey Beautiful!"

She creased my eyebrows in disapproval. "What is up with you?"

"It's a glorious day, and you make it even better," I sang out as I stepped through the door. She looked at me as if I had gone insane. I couldn't keep the smile from my face. "Oh, hell. I've been waiting for this," I announced as I backed her into a corner and wrapped my arms around her.

She cringed. "Nate, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to kiss you!"

"IAN!" she screamed.

I pressed my lips to hers, and she began to struggle. I had waited too long to let go. Suddenly, Ian burst into the room and ripped me away from her.

"Get the hell off of her, you maggot. I will kill you!"

"Wait!" I protested.

Ian lunged at me. There was hatred in his eyes. I'm pretty sure he was going to kill me.

Lucky for me, Burns rushed through the front door. "Ian, stop! It's not what you think!"

Ian stopped dead in his tracks.

"This parasite was about to kiss my wife," he growled with venom in his voice.

This was not at all how I planned it. All hell was about to break loose.

"Hold it! Hold it!" I bellowed. I had situated myself in the middle of the room with his hands splayed out in front of me. "Look!" I reached to my eye, placed my finger on my eyeball, and slowly slid the contact out of my eye. Then I looked up at Wanda.

"NATE!" she squealed. She was on me in an instant with her arms wrapped around me. Burns took the contact from my hand, and I pulled my arms around her.

"I never stopped believing. I thought about you every minute of every day," I muttered.

"But how?" she asked.

"Fords Deep Water. He took the Seeker out of me and gave me the contacts. No one has to know, and I can go anywhere I want!"

"Son of a Bitch!" Ian chuckled as he shook his head.

I placed my hands on her face and caressed her cheeks. "It killed me to see you and not be able to speak to you, to hold you, to touch you." I switched my attention to Ian. "Ian, you owe me this one."

Ian nodded in defeat. "You're right. At least, let me go outside." Ian walked out of the house with Burns in tow and shut the door behind him.

"Nate, I took a vow," she said softly.

"I know, but Ian also said he would rather I kissed you every day than to have to deal with the likes of Travels the Frozen Tundra."

"Please tell me you do not intend to kiss me every day."

"Of course I do, but I will be very respectful about it…after today. This one, I deserve."

"Oh, Nate," she murmured. I set my eyes on her lips. After all I had been through, I knew, at this point, I had nothing to lose. I went in and kissed her full on. She kissed me back, and I was in heaven. I licked her heart shaped lips and stroked her tongue with mine. She held me tight. Her full breasts were pressed against my chest. My dick responded, and before long, I was sporting a raging hard-on. The thought of her husband just outside only made the whole thing even more erotic. How many times had Ian kissed her in front of me knowing how much it wounded me? This was sweet revenge. He made a promise, and I intended to make him keep it. I would get to kiss my sweet Wanda everyday for the rest of my life if I wanted to. My hands roamed her body, and I let them slip to her ass for a brief second before I realized I was losing control. As much as I didn't want didn't to stop, I sighed deeply and ended the kiss. I wanted more. I dotted her lips with little kisses as I held her face in my hands. I finally stopped and said the things I couldn't say when I was trapped in my own head.

"I love you so much. I'll never stop. Ian is a lucky man, and I won't ever let him forget it. I hope you come to the game room tonight." I released her and stepped back. "You better go get your husband."

I headed to the bathroom to deal with my hard-on. As soon as I shut the door, I pulled my dick from my pants and began to stroke it. All I could think of was her beautiful face and those sexy lips wrapped around my engorged penis. I closed my eyes and threw my head back, envisioning Wanda on her knees stroking the shit out of my dick. At the last second, I grabbed the washcloth and held it over the tip as the semen exploded from my body. I wanted to cry out in delight, but I knew Ian and Wanda were probably just outside. I gritted my teeth and internalized the extreme bliss I felt during my orgasm. When I finished, I collapsed against the wall and took a few deep breaths while my head cleared. I needed to put my contact back in. The problem was Burns had it with him outside. I flushed the toilet and washed out the washcloth in the sink. Then I put on a happy face and went to face Ian. I knew he would be upset even if he allowed the kiss. I knew I would be, especially if he had any clue how intense the kiss was. I exited the bathroom and found Burns leaning up against the sink in the kitchen. There was no sign of the O'Sheas.

"Where are they?" I asked.

"Ian couldn't take it. He took off for the baseball field. Wanda went after him."

"Shit. I don't want to start off on a bad foot with Ian."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have made out with his wife."

"Damn it! Where's my contact?"

Burns pointed to the counter. I scooped up the contact and pulled the bottle of saline solution from my pocket. I went to the mirror and squeezed some solution into the palm of my hand. I carefully balanced the contact on the tip of my finger and placed it in my eye on the first try. Then, I headed for the front door.

"See you later," I exclaimed.

"Where you goin'?" Burns called out.

"To make amends!" I yelled back.

As I entered the field, I saw Wanda come out of the first dugout and head to the second dugout. I broke into a jog and slowed to a walk when I reached the dugout. I could hear them talking. I waited outside and listened to the conversation.

"I dared him. I made a promise. I have to honor that," Ian said with obvious anguish in his voice.

"Superman, he is not going to make out with me every day. I wouldn't let him," Wanda replied in her defense.

"You let him today."

"Today was different. Today is special."

"We are talking about Nate, the Schemer. He can turn every day into a special day." I felt my lips twist into a smile.

Wanda laughed.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because you're right. He probably could, but I promise you he won't. He respects the fact that I chose you to be my husband."

I decided now was the time to ease Ian's fears and clear Wanda's guilty conscience. I stepped into the dugout.

"She's right. If the shoe was on the other foot, I would honor my promise as well but with a heavy heart. I don't want to destroy your relationship, and I don't want to destroy our relationship. Ian, man, you are like a brother to me. 'Three Guys Construction'. Let's make it happen."

Ian got up, and he hugged me. "I missed you, man."

"I missed you, too."

"Who else knows about this?"

"So far, only you two, Burns, and Ice. They are the ones who kidnapped me and knocked me out with the chloroform."

"Where is the Seeker?"

"In a cryo chamber, in the trunk of Fords Deep Water's car."

"So, that's what he meant when he told me he was late because he had to see a specialist. He had someone make you contacts. He had this planned all along. He told me back in Washington to trust him," Wanda surmised.

"Think about it. I am the only human on the planet that can go anywhere I want, and no one will know."

"As far as _you_ know," Ian commented. It made us all think. _What if Fords Deep Water was a human?_ I hadn't even considered it until now.

"I suppose anything is possible," I replied. "So—are we good?"

"Yeah, we're good," Ian said with a half smile.

"Good. I'm—gonna—head out."

"Sure. Later," Ian responded.

"Bye, Nate," Wanda said in a sweet voice.

I shot her a wink and left them.

My next step was to tell Maria. She deserved to know. After all, she was like a mother to me. It was nearing the lunch hour, and without me to force her to take a day off, she had thrown herself into the kitchen for both lunch and dinner. I'm sure, in her mind, she was trying to keep busy for my sake. One of her favorite sayings when I was a kid was 'idol hands are the devils workshop.' I never quite understood it, but it was her way of telling me not to be lazy.

As I passed the cave entrance, Burns stepped out.

"Were you waiting for me?"

"Yeah, I thought you might need the voice of reason today before you go and blab to the whole clan."

"Now would I do that?"

Burns chuckled. "The old Nate forgets that the new Nate isn't exactly loved around here."

"He isn't even liked."

"Precisely, so you are gonna have to put up with some pretty shitty attitudes for a while because you can't go and make an announcement that you're back."

"Well, I have to tell Maria. I'm all she's got."

"Good point. Is that where you're headed?"

"Yup. Are you gonna tell Lily?"

"No. I think you should do that when you're ready."

"I love her, but she is not high on the list of candidates that need to know. I hope you don't mind. Besides, she's the type of person who would probably accept the new Nate if she saw everyone else trying."

"True, I just hope when she does find out, she won't think that I don't trust her."

"Lily won't think that. All you have to tell her is you promised me that I would decide who knows and who doesn't. Then she'll just hate me."

Burns took in a deep breath and exhaled deeply. "This is going to be harder than I thought."

We entered the back door to the house and found Lily, Rachel, and Nadine sitting in the living room watching a movie.

"Good morning, ladies!" I crooned.

Burns elbowed me in the ribs. The women shot me a look of surprise and returned to the TV.

"The new Nate isn't so happy," Burns whispered.

"Yeah, I intend to change that."

Burns approached Lily and kissed her gently on the lips. I left him and stepped into the kitchen where I found Maria and Sue preparing tuna sandwiches and macaroni salad for the masses. I hadn't considered telling Aunt Sue about my return, but I didn't want to wait another minute to tell Maria. Besides, I knew for a fact that Sue could keep a secret. After all, there were few people who knew of her intimate relationship with Carl.

I walked up behind Maria and engulfed her in my arms. "Ah….I missed this," I muttered in her ear.

She struggled against my grip. "Get off of me!" she shrieked as she broke away.

Sue backed up against the counter in horror. Burns flew into the room to do damage control.

"Nate! You're freaking everyone out. Are you forgetting what Fords Deep Water told you?"

"Right. Sorry."

At that moment, the ladies from the living room poked their heads into the room. Is everything all right?" Rachel asked.

"Everything is fine," Burns replied. "Nate's just trying to project a more positive image."

"Oh—okay." Rachel seemed content with Burns's answer. The girls returned to their movie.

Maria turned her back on me and went back to preparing the tuna.

"Maria," I said sternly.

"I don't have anything to say to you," she replied without turning around.

"Well, I have plenty to say to you."

She eyeballed me suspiciously. "What did Nathan tell you?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

She raised her left eyebrow, questioning me.

"Excuse me, I need the counter," I said as I pulled a paper towel from its holder and laid it on the counter. She stepped back, giving me space.

"Remember, you must keep quiet," Burns reiterated to Maria and Sue as he positioned himself directly in front of the kitchen door. I pulled the contacts from my eyes and slowly turned to see both ladies holding their breath. They studied my eyes for a long moment. Finally, Maria spoke.

"Nathan?"

I shot her a broad smile. "In the flesh!" She stood motionless as if she still couldn't believe it. I held out my arms to her. "Can I get that hug now?" Then, I rushed in before she could answer and pulled her tight to my chest.

She allowed me to hug her, but her arms hung limp. "I don't understand. How?"

I pulled back to explain. "It seems we have an ally in Ford's Deep Water. He felt it was unfair of the souls to take my body for their purposes, so he helped me."

Tears escaped from her eyes and trickled down her face. "I never thought I'd see you again."

I brushed the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs. "I've always been here."

"You know what I mean."

I glanced over at Aunt Sue. She was wringing her hands. I crossed the room to her and stood squarely in front of her. "I'm back!" I crooned, and then, I pulled Aunt Sue in for a hug.

Burns broke up the happy love-fest. "Remember, this is a secret. You can't be all sweet to Nate in front of the others, or they'll suspect something is amiss."

"So, are we supposed to be mean to him forever?" Maria asked.

"No, not forever. As I said, Nate is going to tell people that he is trying to project a more positive image at the urging of his comforter, Fords Deep Water, and of course, the old Nate. You should warm up to him slowly. You can meet in private and have your little chats, but be cautious of your surroundings. Understand?"

"Yes," Sue replied.

Maria rushed to me and threw her arms around my waist. "I need one more hug!"

"It's okay, Maria. I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't care. I told your mother I'd take care of you, and I let you slip through my fingers."

"Maria, you're not my guardian angel."

"I know," she lamented.

"But you know what? It's nice to have a mother to turn to again."

"Oh, Nathan. I love you like you were my own. You know that, right?"

"Yes, Maria. The pain in your eyes every time you looked at me was so hard to see. I know you love me—and I love you, too." I kissed her on the cheek.

"You better put your contacts back in," Burns advised.

"Shoot! I don't have a mirror."

"Go to the bathroom and do it."

"What if someone sees me?"

"Don't look them in the eye. Keep your head down."

I realized this secret thing was going to be tougher than I thought. Luckily, the girls in the living room paid no attention to me and a minute later, I walked out of the bathroom as the new Nate.

Burns and I ended up carrying the trays of sandwiches and macaroni salad to the gameroom. Lunch proved to be interesting. I sat with Ian and Wanda, Burns and Lily, and Kyle and Sunny. Half of the table knew of my secret and half the table did not. I felt bad that Lily didn't know, but I figured I'd take it slow in revealing myself. As Burns had pointed out, it would look mighty suspicious to the military contingent if, all of a sudden, I was loved by the community. Ian and Kyle talked about baseball, and the fact that we hadn't had much of a season due to the circumstances. Burns was once again the voice of reason as he reminded them that we were lucky to be sitting here discussing something as trivial as recreational sports.

"Guys, it's never too late to start the season," I exclaimed.

Ian stood up and addressed the masses. "Anyone want to practice this afternoon?"

"It's raining, coach!" Danny bellowed.

"Are you gonna melt?" Ian hollered back.

"No, sir!" Carlos yelled.

And so the plans were set to have practice at three o'clock, rain or shine.

"Nate, you coming?" Ian asked.

"I don't know if I should," I replied, trying to mimic the new Nate.

"I thought you were trying to project a positive attitude," Burns interjected.

That's when my wheels started turning. "Tell you what; I'll go if you ladies go."

"Hmmm, sure sounds like something Nate would say," Ian proclaimed.

I knew he was trying to push my buttons, probably as payback for making out with his wife.

"I don't want to go if I can't play," Wanda countered.

"Babydoll, you're pregnant," Ian replied.

"I'm pregnant, not dead—and I could be dead like five times now."

Ian shot me a deadpan look. "You see what you started?"

"What can I say? She's kinda got a point. If she feels that she can play, then by all means, she should play."

Wanda looked down at her plate and smiled.

"Okay, smartass, you're in charge of her. She gets hurt; I hurt you."

The thought of Ian pummeling my face made me wince.

Kyle patted me on the back. "Don't worry. His bark is worse than his bite," he said with a smile.

"Uh, nice try. Nate let me see that memory."

"So, it's settled. Wanda, you can watch," Ian stated with an air of confidence.

Wanda stood up. "Fine, I'm going to go to bed. I'm pretty sure I'll be safe there."

"Oh, come one, babe!"

"Okay!" I blurted out. "I'll take care of her."

This came as a surprise to Kyle, Sunny, and Lily, who thought that Travels the Frozen Tundra would avoid conflict at all costs. After all, Ian was one of the few people on the mountain who seemed to accept the soul who inhabited Nate's body. I leaned slightly toward Ian before I continued.

"You do know I'm a soul, and we don't believe in violence."

Ian leaned toward me and responded. "Well, then, I'm sure you'll do everything in your power to keep my girl safe."

I paused as if listening to my inner voice. "Nate says he loves her, too, and he would never want to see her hurt."

Ian gave me an evil glare as he reached for Wanda's hand. He grasped it firmly with both hands. It was obvious he felt threatened.

"Guys!" Wanda interjected. "I'm not going to get hurt! It's only baseball!"

The rain miraculously disappeared around two-thirty, and the clouds gave way to sunshine; although, the field was a bit soggy. Ian started the practice with drills. I was familiar with the routine, but I purposely played it a little clumsy. I missed a few catches that I normally wouldn't miss and voiced my frustration with myself.

"It's okay," Jamie said. "You've got the basic skills. Nate was a good player. You'll get it down in no time."

We were evenly split into three groups for the drills with each group consisting of both good players and less accomplished players. Wanda, Lily, and Sunny were split up because technically, they were the worst of the players on the field. Megan was the only other girl, but she played like one of the guys. I was in Wanda's group since I was to protect her at all costs. Practice was going well until Wanda noticed that her sneaker was untied. She squatted down to tie it, and she rose to her feet just as Blake fired the ball to Danny, who was standing a few feet directly behind Wanda. My first instinct was to catch the ball, but it would have been a backhanded catch which would have been iffy at best. I decided to hurl my body in front of her. The ball slapped me in the shoulder, and I dropped like a ton of bricks. Wanda was the closet, and the first to reach me. I was in pain, but my concern was for her.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Me? I'm not the one who got belted by the ball!"

Blake jogged up. "Gee, I'm sorry, Nate. I didn't even see Wanda tying her shoe. You really took a hit for her. Are you all right? You want me to get the doc?"

"No, I'm fine."

Ian appeared in the crowd and knelt down on one knee. "You okay, man?"

"Yeah."

Ian offered his hand to me and pulled me to my feet. "You did good," he said. He patted me on the back. Then, he turned to Wanda. "You need to be more aware of your surroundings."

"I was just tying my shoe!" she cried out as he walked away.

I walked to her and stood next to her as she watched Ian march away. "You owe me," I muttered.

She turned to me and looked into my eyes. "I guess I do. Name your price."

I spoke loud enough for those around us to hear. "Play pool with me tonight. Nate said you and he often played, and that you were a good student." It was the perfect setup for the new Nate to begin his interaction with the humans.

"Sure," she replied. "I guess I can play nice for the sake of my Nate."

"I thank you, and Nate says he is looking forward to spending time with you. He misses you, you know."

"I've missed him, too."

Ian interrupted our conversation as he called everyone to the infield. He split us into two new groups for batting and fielding.

The afternoon passed quickly without any further incident, and soon, it was the dinner hour.

I decided to sit with Moon and the two new soldiers that had been sent to replace the previous souls. The taller of the two was named Harry Winston, and the other was named Terry Cole. It seemed to me that souls who took on the names of the human they inhabited were more compassionate to the humans. I also found that a great deal of them were the first wave of souls that invaded our planet. The first wave struck quickly, and most humans were taken by surprise and didn't have the chance to fight back. They were living among the humans until one by one they were implanted. Those who discovered the invasion disappeared, obviously running for their lives. By the time the second wave arrived, the humans were aware of the souls and fought to save their race. The second wave witnessed the emotions the humans contained within their own souls. That is when the seekers became a part of the soul society.

These souls feared the humans because the humans were not afraid to kill in order to survive. Some souls found their bodies difficult to inhabit and skipped because they were not strong enough. They were considered a disgrace by society and sent away to far off planets to live much less stressful lives. I imagine that even with the challenges the human body possessed, it was a rich full life that was the draw, which is the reason so many souls refused to skip.

"So, you've been hanging with the humans a lot," Moon observed.

"Yeah, well, I had a meeting with Fords Deep Water, and he gave me some advice."

"And what advice is that?"

"He said, 'you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.'"

"Nice analogy."

"Yeah, he said I should try to get on Wanda and Ian's good side because they wield the most power. If I can get Wanda to accept me, then the others will be more open."

"That sounds like a good plan."

"Today, I took a hit from a baseball that would have hit her. She agreed to play pool with me as retribution."

"Have you ever played pool?"

"I haven't, but Nate has. Apparently, he's very good at it. He's taught Wanda everything she knows about the game."

"And you expect him to help you?"

"He loves Wanda. He's looking forward to spending time with her again."

He looked at me suspiciously. "But you're in control."

I took a deep breath. "Yes, this is my body, and I am very much in control."

Moon nodded. "Good."

After dinner, I volunteered to wash the dishes with Rachel and Nadine.

"Why are you doing domestic chores?" Nadine asked as she entered the kitchen with a tray full of plates and utensils.

"Someone wise told me the new Nate needs to be more like the old Nate. He said kitchen chores are a good way to bond with the ladies. Besides, no one ever shot a man while he was washing dishes."

Rachel laughed. "That sounds like something Nate would say."

"He did say it. I just repeated his words."

"Can I talk to him?" she asked.

"Anytime you want. I've accepted the fact that Nate and I share this body."

"Would you tell him that I miss our private walks?"

"He can hear you, and he says he hasn't been to his mother's grave in too long. He also said you and he haven't played pool in a while."

Rachel blushed. I played along. "Did I say something wrong?" I asked feigning innocence.

"No," she answered quickly.

"You know I'm playing pool tonight with Wanda—if you want to join us."

"How did you manage that? Wanda hasn't touched a pool cue since…" she trailed off.

"She owed me a favor."

"Ah, I see."

"So, you'll join us?" I pressed.

"We'll see," she replied.

I shot her a smile. "Well, that's better than a no."

When I completed the dishes, I decided to shower and shave. I wanted to look my best for Wanda. I arrived at the gameroom right on time. There was no sign of Wanda, but Rachel was there. She was sitting with her man at the poker table. I was sure she saw me come in, but she didn't make a move to acknowledge me. I had to admit I was a little disappointed. Evan and Gina were at the pool table. It had been a long time since I had been given the opportunity to drink in the sight of Gina. While her body was still perfection in my eyes, I couldn't deny that she looked tired. I worried if it was because of the new circumstances on the mountain or possibly her relationship with Evan.

I picked up a pool cue and announced, "I call winner."

Gina shot me a disgusted look.

"That's okay. We're done after this game," she said coldly.

_Ouch. That really hurt, _I thought to myself. I had to remind myself that her anger was directed at the soul and not at me. I walked directly toward her while Evan was lining up his shot.

"Nate says you're still angry because you still love him, but you shouldn't be."

"Hey!" Evan yelled. "You stay away from her!"

"Afraid of a little competition, Evan?" I knew I shouldn't have said it as soon as the words came out of my mouth because that was something Travels the Frozen Tundra would never say. I was trying to figure out how to backpaddle when Wanda came to my rescue. She had entered the building and heard the exchange between me and Evan. Evan slapped down his pool cue and charged toward me.

"Nate! I'm sorry I'm late!" Wanda gushed.

I acted surprised even though I knew deep down that she would never bail on me. "Wanda! I didn't think you were coming."

"I would never break my word."

Evan got in my face at that point. "What the hell is your problem?"

Wanda got between us. "Maybe his problem is loneliness. Did you ever think about that?" she said with the authority of a mother. "Keep in mind that when you hang out with the new Nate, the old Nate benefits as well. It keeps him alive in there." She tapped Evan on the temple for effect. He backed away.

"Ugh! You're disgusting," Gina growled.

"Gina, you wouldn't say that if you took the time to talk to him. I'm telling you the old Nate is still there."

"There are things between me and Nate that I don't think are any business of his," Gina spouted.

"Gina!" Evan interrupted. "Come!" he commanded.

Gina's shoulders slunk down. "I have to go," she muttered as she turned toward the door. Wanda and I stood shoulder to shoulder and watched as Evan held the door for her. To me, it didn't seem like a gesture of kindness so much as assuring that she'd step through that door. I still didn't trust him, and I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to hurt her. Gina might have confided in the old Nate, but she hated the new Nate.

"I don't like that guy," I muttered quietly to Wanda.

"I get the feeling he doesn't like you either."

"Can I tell you a secret?" I felt like this was as good a time as any to tell Wanda the truth about me and Gina. If I had learned anything during my incapacitation, it was I needed to face the truth.

"I don't know if I can handle another secret," Wanda replied.

"Fine. Never mind."

She turned her head and spoke so no one else could hear her. "No. You were gone a long time. If you have a secret to share, then I want to hear it."

"I don't want you to be mad."

"Nathan, I could never be mad at you. You saved our mountain."

I racked the balls and set up to break.

"Nathan!" she whined.

I glanced up at her before I took the shot, and then I blurted out, "I'm in love with Gina." _SNAP! _The balls clacked loudly, and two of them shot into the pockets, both solids. I hadn't even thought of dumbing down the break. I was waiting for the repercussions of my statement.

"Nice break!" Rachel called out. Apparently, she had been watching us. She rose from her chair and crossed the room toward us. I looked at Wanda. She looked as if she was going to be ill.

"Are you all right?" I asked before Rachel got within earshot.

"Yeah, I'm just a little surprised. I mean, I knew she had a crush on you, but…"

"Can we talk about this later?"

Rachel was upon us. "I call winner," she declared.

"Sure," I replied. "I guess I have solids, right?" I asked.

"Why are you asking? Haven't you ever played before?"

"The game of pool is a human concept, and while I've never played, Nate has, and he's been talking me through this. As a matter of fact, he's yelling at me for letting on that I've never played. He says you're thinking that you can beat me."

"Really? Would you like to place a little bet?"

"Nate's laughing. He says your bets are dangerous; although, I have no clue as to why."

Rachel's face turned a bright shade of red. I was really starting to enjoy this game with Rachel.

"You're blushing again. Why does Nate make you blush?"

Rachel cleared her throat and regained her composure. "That's between him and me. Now finish your shot, so I can kick your ass."

Wanda had been quiet during my exchange with Rachel. I took my shot and missed—on purpose. Wanda stepped up to the table and scoped out her options. "You know, Rachel, you are the second person in the last ten minutes to admit they had personal secrets with Nate that they didn't want shared. I'm beginning to wonder about our Nate."

Rachel replied immediately. "Well, he was the most eligible bachelor on the mountain."

Wanda leaned over the table to take her shot. Even pregnant, she looked hot enough from behind to make my dick twitch. She took the shot and claimed her first stripe.

"Nice shot, beautiful."

Rachel raised her eyebrow to me.

"I was just repeating what Nate said," I explained in my defense.

"Why _is _that?" Wanda asked.

"Why am I repeating what Nate said?"

"No," she replied. "Why is Nate the most eligible bachelor on the mountain? Why hasn't he snapped up one of the women on this mountain? I mean the ratio of women to men is like two to one."

Victoria came out of nowhere and answered the question. "Because he pushed the women away who loved him because of you." She sounded almost angry.

I didn't know what to say. As Nate, I wanted to defend myself. As Travels the Frozen Tundra, I couldn't possibly come up with an answer to justify the actions of the old Nate.

Wanda turned to address Victoria. "So, are you saying others besides you loved him, and he pushed them away?"

"Do you really want to get into this?" Tori replied.

"You know what? I think I do," Wanda answered as she shot me a look.

I was so screwed. In Rachel and Victoria's eyes, I was a non entity stuck inside my own head, never to return as a whole human being. Only Wanda knew the truth, and now, she was hell bent on digging until she found out the truth about me. All this time, she thought my heart was hers, and the truth is, it was, but the flesh is weak. Gina knew how to work my flesh to the point of madness, and her own story was so moving. I found it difficult to believe that she could ever love any man after what she had been through, and yet, I knew that deep down, she loved me.

Rachel spoke up. "I don't know about after Wanda arrived, but you might want to ask Nadine about their past relationship,"

"Nadine?" Wanda blurted out.

_Oh shit. _I needed to get away from this conversation. I depended on Travels the Frozen Tundra to help bail me out. "Excuse me. Are we going to talk about Nate, or are we gonna play pool?" I asked showing my obvious exasperation.

"And then there's that gypsy chick," Rachel added.

Wanda glared at me. "You have some explaining to do, mister!"

All I could do was stay in character and speak as Travels the Frozen Tundra. "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't even know who the gypsy chick is! Is this someone I should know about?" I was hoping Rachel would shut her trap before she gave away the gypsy clan. After all, I was supposed to be a seeker trying to gather information.

Wanda took a haphazard shot at the pool table and missed.

I, in turn, missed my shot feigning my lack of ability as well as my disappointment in the turn of the conversation. "I need a beer," I announced. I marched off to get a beer, allowing the girls a chance to talk away from me. When I returned, Wanda seemed calmer.

Wanda took her shot and sunk another ball tying the game. I knew I needed to pick up the pace if I was going to beat her and move on to play Rachel. As long as I controlled the table, I could interact with the ladies. I took my time and made an easy shot look difficult for me. Wanda muttered under her breath, "You better not miss that shot."

"Hey, that was hard," I replied.

"Not for Nathan, it's not."

"I'm still learning," I said in my defense.

The game continued. I'd let Wanda get even with me, and then I'd pull ahead. It made for an interesting game for Rachel who, surprisingly, was routing for me. She never outwardly admitted it, but I could see it in her eyes. I seriously considered telling her the truth, but then I considered the consequences. We'd be flirting to beat the band, and my cover would be blown. I still intended to tell her, but not just yet. There were others who needed to be told before her, beside the fact that I would have to do it private since I had no idea what her reaction would be.

In the end, I bested Wanda. As Rachel jumped to rack the balls for the next game, Wanda turned to me. "I'm kinda tired. I'm gonna go."

I spoke in a low voice as I replied to her. "Are you tired, or are you mad at me?"

"I don't know." She was avoiding the question.

"Look, I know we need to talk, and we will. Nate has a lot he wants to say, but for tonight, can't you just give me a chance to prove that I can be a good soul, and not the enemy everyone has portrayed me to be?" I gave her the puppy dog eyes, hoping she would cave in to my plea.

"Okay. I'm in for one more game, but then I'm going home."

I shot her a smile that always got the ladies. She smiled weakly and wandered off in the direction of Ian, who was, of course seated at the poker table.

"Okay," Rachel said as she pulled the rack off of the balls. "Are you ready to get your ass kicked?"

"Bring it, babe."

She again eyeballed me.

"Um, those were Nate's words, but I concur."

Rachel was fierce in her attack. She had three balls in before finally missing a difficult shot.

"You've gotten better," I said to her.

"Is that coming from Nate or from you?"

I felt myself blush. It was almost as if she knew it was really me.

As the game went on, Rachel began to flirt. This made me extremely uneasy because Rachel wouldn't have flirted with Travels the Frozen Tundra, would she? I missed a shot that I normally wouldn't miss because my mind was focused on whether or not Wanda had told Rachel the truth while I was off getting a beer. I wanted to go to Wanda and confront her, but again I was unable to without drawing attention to myself and giving cause for suspect to the entire room full of people.

The door opened. Moon and his two cohorts entered. _Crap!_ _Now, I'm going to have to seriously tone down my actions and reactions to keep these guys from figuring out that Travels the Frozen Tundra is no longer in control. _My fear was not that they would figure out that he had been removed as much as the fear that Nate had regained control of his body.

Rachel also seemed uncomfortable with the addition of my so called friends. The flirting ceased. The problem was she was already so far ahead in the game, that it was impossible for me to catch up without showing some true skills that only the old Nate would possess. So, I lost.

"You are just as weak as Nate when it comes to the female body," Rachel smirked.

"What can I say? This body is human."

"Well, no offence, but as much fun as it was to beat you, I'd lose in a minute if your mind matched your body."

"I just want to you know that I appreciate you allowing me to interact with you."

Rachel ignored my comment and summoned Wanda. "Hey! Mrs. O'Shea! You're up!"

Wanda kissed her husband and rose from her chair. She seemed surprised as she approached the table.

"Nathan didn't win?"

"Nah. She's a good player," I replied.

"Hey, Nate! You want to join us in a game of Risk?" Moon called out.

"I would, but I'm up to take on whoever wins this game," I said as I walked over to the trio. "I'm really pleased with the progress I've made tonight. I don't want to ditch them, or they may not want to hang out with me again."

"Sure. I understand. Progress with the humans is good."

I leaned in to Moon and spoke low. "Rachel even used her body to distract me. That's got to be worth something."

Moon looked over at Rachel as she was bent over taking a shot.

"She's definitely worth watching."

I drew in a deep sigh. "I wonder if I'll ever be lucky enough to have one of these humans as a partner."

"You'd want to partner with a human?"

"Sure, why not? It would solidify my place here on the mountain."

"I guess. What was it you said? Baby steps?"

"Right. I better get back."

"Later, bro."

"Later."

I spent the next half hour watching the girls play and drinking beer. Wanda ended up squeaking out the win. She and I played one last game which I won. It seemed she was tired and unfocused. Ian was still playing poker. I offered to walk her home within earshot of Ian. Wanda looked to Ian for approval.

"You're not going to try anything funny with my wife, are you?"

"Absolutely not, sir," I responded. The room didn't seem too concerned because they assumed I was Travels the Frozen Tundra, but I knew Ian was worried I might try to worm my way to kissing his beautiful bride.

"Ian, I'll be fine," Wanda assured him.

Ian nodded reluctantly and announced that he would be home before eleven.

Wanda and I left the gameroom and walked quietly in the moonlight. Once we reached the end of the path and entered the back of the ballfield, I offered her my elbow for support which she took. We had taken only a few steps when Wanda spoke.

"So, tell me about this secret life that Nate, the schemer, has been keeping from me since the day I met him."

I took a deep breath. "I'm a guy. I have needs. I'm not really one to fall for a girl, so considering there were so few people on the mountain, I made it clear to the women I've pursued that I wasn't interested in anything long term."

"Nadine?"

"Was my first. I didn't want her to think that she could lay claim to me, so I explained that I had a job to do as leader of the clan, and my relationship with her needed to remain a secret. At first, she was cool with it."

"Of course she was cool with it! She probably thought you would eventually come around to loving her. I always wondered why she seemed so distant from you. You hurt her, didn't you?"

"I didn't mean to."

"And the gypsy chick?"

I sighed. "Nadia."

"Did she fall in love with you?"

"Nadia would have fallen in love with anyone who slept with her. She lives with her immediate family. I'm really just a piece of meat to her."

"Right, and she's not a piece of ass for you?"

"Okay, you got me, but it's not like I don't care about her or her family. As a matter of fact, they are probably scraping by at this point. I haven't been there in over two months. I need to figure out a way to get supplies to them."

"And you'll sleep with her?"

"If I don't, she might allow her cousin to take advantage of her. Better she sleep with me than incest."

"So, sleeping with the girl is charity?" she blasted.

"No, not charity exactly. I mean, it's not like I don't enjoy being with her, but I don't want to marry her."

"You're scum. You know that?"

"Wanda, please. Try to understand it from my perspective."

"You're perspective is who can I screw today? Nadine, Nadia, Victoria, Gina, Wanda?"

"That's not fair. My objective was never to screw you. I love you. I would have married you."

"You told me just an hour ago that you love Gina."

"Gina is probably the one person who was able to get under my skin. If I had half a brain in my head, I would have admitted that I loved her and only her, but I love you, too, and I was holding onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, you would walk away from Ian and be with me. I couldn't admit to myself that your heart belonged to Ian. Even when you married him, I hoped things wouldn't pan out. It wasn't until I was trapped in my own head that I had the opportunity to come to terms with the truth. You love Ian. I know that now. I will always love you, but I know that loving someone and being in love are two different things."

"Nate, I do love you, and if Ian wasn't in the picture…"

"I know."

"But Gina is with Evan," she reminded me.

"I know that, too."

"I'm sorry I ruined your shot at happiness."

"I don't believe that Evan is the love of her life. I know she still loves me. The problem is even if I told her the truth, she couldn't just abandon Evan and latch onto a soul she has professed her hatred for in front of everyone."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"For now, I am going to leave her with Evan. I've got no choice. I have to think about my family, our extended family at the caverns, and Nadia and her family. I need to figure out a way to get to them."

We reached the house, and Wanda invited me in to continue our conversation. We sat on the couch facing each other as we talked.

"The vehicles are all fitted with tracking devices," Wanda reminded me.

"I know, but how did you know?"

"Burns overheard a conversation and reported back to Ian. Sunny and I went to my father's and then used one of his vehicles to head to the caverns. We saw Jeb, Jared, Melanie, and the others."

"You brought them supplies?"

"Yes. My father requested that we not tell him anything, therefore he would never have to lie."

"So, Jeb and the others are good. That's great. Now I only have to worry about Nadia and her family."

"Maybe, you can make up a fake relative or something from your past that you want to check out. You can take Burns with you. Once you get away from here, you can rent a car, leaving Burns to continue on in a different direction while you make your trip to the gypsies. You can meet up with Burns a couple days later, return the rental, and come back to the mountain."

"You know, that might work."

"Of course it will work. The souls have no reason not to trust you."

I drew Wanda in for a heartfelt hug.

"Who else are you going to tell? I mean about you being you?"

Before I could answer, the front door opened and shut. Ian called out to his wife, "Babydoll?"

"In here, Ian!" Wanda called out. I automatically backed up about a foot not wanting to give Ian a reason to freak out.

"Hey, you're still here."

"Yeah, we've been talking. I hope you don't mind."

"Do I have a choice?"

"It's your house, man. I can leave if you want."

"No. What were you talking about?"

"I was asking Nate who he was going to tell that he is back."

"Fords Deep Water told me to choose wisely. The more who know, the greater the chance that someone screws up. Also, I may have unforeseen enemies that could destroy everything because he or she is focused on getting rid of me."

"Who would do that?" Ian asked.

"Evan," Wanda and I answered in unison.

"Right," Ian agreed, nodding his head.

Wanda stared at Ian. "You knew?"

"Yes, I knew."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Babydoll, if I had told you, you would have confronted Nate. My objective is not to put the focus on my rival, but to keep you interested in me."

"Ian, I wouldn't have…"

I interrupted her. "Wanda, you barely held it together tonight when I told you I was in love with Gina."

"But…"

"Nate, I think it's time for you to go, so that my wife can prove to me that I'm the guy she really wants to be with," Ian said calmly.

I looked directly at Wanda. "You gonna be all right?"

"Absolutely. Believe me; Ian won't be able to wipe the grin off of his face in the morning."

"Thanks, I needed that," I scoffed as I slid off the couch.

"Nate?" Wanda called out before I opened the front door.

"Yeah?"

"So, who are you going to tell next? Gina?"

"No, another woman who will forever hold a huge piece of my heart."

Wanda's eyes opened like saucers. "Victoria?"

I grinned and tapped her on the nose. "My sister."

18


	86. Chapter 86

**I know it's been a long time coming, but I needed a break in order to get those creative juices flowing again. After reading the entire Carpathian series twice, I finally decided to sit down and read Nate's diary from the beginning. And then I started to write. I've been writing every day since the beginning of the month, and I have two chapters nearly complete. So, without further ado, I present Nate's newest challenges…**

PRIORITIES

09/03/2003 – Dear Diary, You have no idea how excited I am to be able to write these words. After the big meeting on the ball field with Colonel Jeffries and Sergeant Woodfern, Wanda, Ian, and I were offered a free ride to Washington to meet the president. Of course, the offer was not one that we could turn down and expect to walk away. No sooner had we gotten there, we were separated, and my biggest fear realized. I was implanted with a seeker, who was looking for information concerning the possibility of other humans that I might be able to pinpoint for them. Although Colonel Jeffries had promised Wanda that Ian and I would not be implanted, he was overridden by one General Blue Flame, who outranked the colonel and acted before the colonel's arrival to Washington. I assume the general was looking for a bigger society that he could uncover and possibly destroy without my people's knowledge. He is not sympathetic to the human's plight at all. Luckily, the president does not seem to share in the general's opinions.

Ian was implanted as well, but the stress of seeing her beloved husband taken from her caused Wanda to have a mental breakdown that affected her physically as well. Fear of losing this soul convinced the key players to allow Ian to remain human. I was not so lucky.

It's been thirty-five days since that fateful day, and I can honestly say I have a new found respect for Melanie and her ordeal of giving up control of her body to the soul we call Wanda. At least, they grew to love each other over time. Travels the Frozen Tundra had no compassion or remorse for what he had done not only to me, but to the people I call my family. As difficult as it was to deal with him and keep my secrets about those at the caverns and the mines from spilling out, it was pure torture seeing those I love showing contempt and hatred toward my body. I knew it was meant for the soul that possessed my body, but it stung just the same.

I never would have predicted the miracle in a single soul who came through for Wanda, the clan, and most importantly, for me. Unfortunately, I cannot name this person in case we are ever overrun by the souls, and this diary is confiscated. In any case, I can write that my body has been restored to me, and I believe that when Travels the Frozen Tundra reaches his new destination, he will breathe a sigh of relief, provided the species he will take as his new host actually breathes.

Upon receiving my body back, I was advised to choose carefully those who I share my secret with. You see, no one knows the truth because I have a supply of contact lenses with the telltale silver ring identifying me as a soul. The only ones who are aware of the truth are Wanda and Ian, Burns, Ice, Maria, and Aunt Sue. Although I would love to tell everyone on the mountain, I need to be vigilant with my trust. There are those who could speak the truth unwittingly. Jamie, Sarah, and my niece come to mind. There are also those who harbor jealousies where I am concerned and might use the information to destroy me without thinking of the implications to the entire community if I was found out. Evan is at the top of that list and Blake and Rob are threats as well. Because of that, I cannot tell Gina, Victoria, or Rachel. Any of them could spill the beans in a moment of weakness to their respective partners.

This leaves me with a huge dilemma. I have feelings for all three of these women, and it will kill me to continue having them hate me. I guess for now, I have no choice. I don't know. Victoria and Rachel will be tough enough, but Gina… My sweet angel. She looks worn. I don't know what's going on with her, but as a soul, she will never confide in me.

At any rate, I have two things I need to do today. The first is to tell Kim and Tom. They are family, and they deserve to know. The other thing I need to address is Nadia and her family. They must be desperate for supplies by now. Wanda has come up with a workable idea. I just need to see if I can implement it. I need to talk to Burns.

I closed my journal that I had retrieved from under the house where I had hidden it before my trip to Washington and my subsequent implantation. I stashed it in Burns' room before setting out to find Kim and Tom.

When I reached the cave, I found Victoria standing guard. She was sporting a firearm at her hip, and she unsnapped the leather holster and rested her had on the butt of the gun as she confronted me.

"What are doing here, parasite?"

"Well hello to you, too, Xena."

"My name is Victoria, and if you have troubles remembering that, I can shoot off one of your fingers so you'll remember in the future." The look on her face telegraphed that she meant what she said.

"No, no. I just thought…well, Nate always calls you Xena."

"I suggest that any memories you possess of me and Nate be forgotten. Those are private and no business of yours. The only reason you are still standing right now is because everyone seems to think Nate is still rattling around inside that head of yours."

"Yes, ma'am. I didn't mean to start any trouble. I was hoping to find Kim and Tom. I have some important information I wanted to share with them."

"They dropped Priscilla at school, and then I saw them head into the woods in that direction."

"In the direction of my mother's grave?"

She gave me a venomous stare. "You mean Nate's mother's grave. I doubt you've ever had a mother."

I drew in a deep sigh. It was killing me to keep my true identity a secret from her. "Thank you for your help," I replied, before turning away. I prayed she wouldn't shoot me in the back as I walked into the woods. I might have to rethink trusting her with the secret as opposed to trusting her not to kill the soul she believed me to be.

I was a warm day. Autumn was just around the corner, but it was nice to feel the warm breeze on my face. It was nice just to feel.

It wasn't long before I saw Kim and Tom coming toward me through the trees. They seemed hesitant when they saw me approaching. I waved to them. Tom waved back. Kim did not. As I got within earshot, I called out, "Nice day for a walk."

"Be careful you don't get lost. These woods go on forever," Tom answered.

"Not a chance of that happening. I know these woods like the back of my hand."

"Is Nate still with you?" Kim asked, looking hopeful.

I smiled at her. "Better," I replied. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"What kind of favor?" she replied tentatively.

"Look into my eyes. Tell me what you see."

Kim looked at my eyes from where she was standing.

I moved closer. "No. I mean _really look_ into my eyes."

She backed away. "I don't think I should."

"Jesus, Kim, I'm trying to reveal a secret here."

Tom stepped forward and looked into my eyes. "What am I looking for?"

I realized the silver hid the edge if the contact. "Never mind," I grumbled as I pulled a folded paper towel from my pocket. I carefully unfolded it and held it out to Tom. "Will you hold this?"

He shot Kim a look. "Um, sure."

"Now don't freak out, okay?"

"Not freaking out," Kim replied.

I tilted my head over the paper towel and slid the contact from my eye, hoping it wouldn't fall into the dried leaves and brush below. I caught the contact in the palm of my hand and as I curled my hand into loose fist, I looked up at Kim.

Kim sucked in her breath. "Nate?"

"You have to keep the secret."

"Oh my God!" Kim squealed with tear filled eyes. She lunged toward me.

I backed up quickly. "Wait!"

She stopped and looked at me, telegraphing distress with her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"If I drop this contact in these woods, I'm toast! Give me a minute to put it back in."

She laughed.

I smiled at her as I reached in my pocket and pulled out the saline solution. "Think you could open this for me?"

"Of course!" She sounded exuberant.

A minute later, the contact was in place, and I held out my arms to receive my big sister.

"Oh, Nathan. I never thought I'd see you again!"

"What are you talking about? You see me every day!"

"You know what I mean."

"I have to admit, I was starting to have my doubts. It was no picnic living with Travels the Frozen Tundra."

"How long have you been, you know—you?"

"Since the night before last, late. I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I wasn't able to catch the two of you alone."

As Kim backed away, Tom moved into position and gave me a strong hug. "I'm glad to have you back, brother. Your sister wanted a baby more than anything, and then when all this went down and you came back as a soul, she swore she'd never try again. Maybe now she'll change her mind?"

"Kim, I know it's been tough. Maria told me that you lost a baby a while back and that you were pregnant again. I waited for you tell me, but you never did, so I assumed you lost that one, too. I wish you had told me."

"I didn't want to burden you with my problems," she said in a small voice.

"That's how I felt when all this happened. I mean you all had so much to worry about; the last thing I wanted to do was put more stress you and the others."

"Well, you're here with us now, and I couldn't be happier!" Kim gushed.

"Happy enough to consider trying again? I mean to have a baby," Tom asked.

"If it's a boy, you could name him Nate!" I interjected.

"We'll see," she replied.

"We should get back. Remember, I am still Travels the Frozen Tundra. You can't be all gushy in front of the others."

"Nate, I'm your sister. I don't get all gushy."

"You know what I mean. You have to treat me the same way—like shit."

"Did we treat you like shit?"

I had to think about it. "No, I have to admit you didn't. You fall in the group that more or less ignored me."

"It was just hard to be around you. You understand, don't you?"

"Of course I do, but maybe you can slowly accept the soul into your life. You know—maybe invite him to help out with a puzzle now and then?"

"Sure."

"Oh, and don't tell Priscilla."

"What do you mean? How can I _not_ tell Priscilla?"

"She's too young. She might screw up. Call me Uncle Nate in front of the soldiers and then what? How will I explain that? Don't you get it? Everything I sacrificed myself for could go up in flames."

"But she's your niece! She loves you!"

"I love her, too! Do you think I don't want to pull her into my arms and bury my face in her hair and smell her sweet smell…" I stopped because somewhere in my tirade Priscilla had become Gina. Tom and Kim stared at me.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know. I was on top of the world this morning, but there are so many people on this mountain that I need to continue to deceive and…" I dropped my head in defeat.

Kim threw her arms around me. "Would you rather be stuck inside your own body without control?"

"No."

"Just take one day at a time, and I'm here for you if you need me."

"In the meantime, would you tell Priscilla that I am still here, and one day I'll be able to tell her how proud I am of her and how much I love her?"

"Every day, I'll tell her every day."

As we approached the cave, I turned to them. "Oh, by the way, if anyone asks why I needed to see you, it was to let you know that I was going to tell Ian that I think we should build a home for you next instead of the general store everyone has been pushing for."

"Good luck with that," Tom said in a sarcastic tone.

"Ian knows the truth, and he knows he owes me. Believe me; your house is next on the agenda."

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you, too.

A meeting was called after lunch for the males who had been working construction. Those present included myself, Ian, Burns, Ice, and Tom: all of who were privy to the truth, as well those who were still unaware that new Nate was indeed old Nate. Kyle, Evan, Rob, Blake, Moon, and the newest edition to the military contingent, Harry Winston and Terry Cole represented the latter group.

As Ian called the meeting to order, I rose and approached the head of the table.

"Excuse me, Ian. If I may, I would like to address the guys on a matter that has been a bone of contention for a while now."

"O-kay," he said, although the look on his face showed worry.

If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought he was afraid I was going to divulge the truth and ruin everything.

I smiled at him as I took center stage.

"I've been thinking about the debate that we've been having about the next project. I know many of you wanted a general store to alleviate the need to go into town for supplies. At first, I agreed because I dislike the idea of shopping for others when I go into town. I thought it sounded like a great idea, but let's think about it for a minute. With the exception of Wanderer, who has her own kitchen to cook in, the rest of the community is still fed as a group. Wouldn't it make sense to hold off on a general store until we have more individual homes with individual kitchens?"

Burns spoke up. "You make a good point."

"Well, in that case, who is going to get the next house?" Evan asked.

"It should go to a family," Ian said with conviction. "Truthfully, I promised Nate a long time ago when he agreed to help me with my own home that I would help him build a house for his sister and her family. I cannot with good conscience go back on my word. Are you agreeable to that, Tom?"

"I don't know what to say. I am honored that you would give me and Kim such a gift," Tom answered with sincerity.

Ian smiled and patted him on the back. "It's not a gift. You're going to work your ass off to build that house."

"I will, I will!" Tom said enthusiastically.

Kyle stood. "It is done. We'll start right away. With luck, we can have them in their new home by Christmas."

"We need to figure out the location and send Burns to town for supplies."

Burns shot me a grin. "See, Nate? I'm the one they always send to town for supplies. You have no worries."

"That's because you know where all the stores are that carry the supplies we need. Besides, it's Wanda they send when it comes to things like clothes and girly shit," Ian replied.

"Believe me; I am grateful to have Wanda to do those things so I won't have to."

"Okay, tell you what, I won't complain when it's my turn," I said sincerely. "Now, can we get back to the question at hand? Where would you like us to build your home, Tom?"

"I wouldn't mind having it next to Ian's home," Tom replied. "It would make sense if we ever get to a point where we put in roads."

"Sounds like a great idea," Burns replied as he nodded in agreement.

"Perfect! I say we spend the night enjoying ourselves before the hard work begins," Kyle added.

"Here! Here!" the others shouted.

The meeting broke up on a positive note. Before Ian and Burns could head out to their ladies, I pulled them aside, letting them know that we needed to talk.

We decided to meet in Burns' room for privacy. Ian pulled Ice aside and asked him to hang out and indirectly stand guard in case one of the military boys came snooping around.

As soon as we were alone, I got straight to the matter at hand.

"Wanda told me last night that she's been to the caverns and delivered a cache of food and supplies to them. It's been two months since I've gone to the mines. They have to be getting desperate for supplies. I need to go to them."

"You know the cars are all loaded with tracking devices," Ian pointed out.

"Yes, I was fearful that you didn't know, and Wanda would lead them straight to Jeb's clan if she took the chance on going there."

"Luckily, Burns overheard your phone call to General Blue Flame, and he was able to warn her. We are grateful that Wanda's father has a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy when it comes to his daughter's secrets," Ian said with a sigh of relief.

"We've been very fortunate in a lot of ways," I reminded him.

"So how are we going to do this?"

"Wanda came up with a plan that just might work."

"Wanderer did?" Ian questioned.

"Yeah, what did you think we were doing last night—making out?"

"I tried not to think about what you were doing last night. I have to admit, I was holding my breath when I came through the door."

"Ian, while I admit to my love for Wanda, I respect your commitment to each other, and I give you my word that I will not cross that boundary that would lead to the demise of your marriage. I care a great deal for the both of you."

"I'm happy to hear that. I think our ordeal in Washington has brought all three of us closer together."

"Agreed."

"So, tell me about this plan my wife has cooked up."

"She suggested that I come up with a long lost relative, and relate it to the General with a plan to visit in the hopes of getting Nate to allow more of his memories to surface."

"I assume these relatives would no longer be human?"

"Correct. After all, the General could just as easily gather information about these relatives to assure himself that Travels the Frozen Tundra is still in complete control of his body."

"True. Does old Nate have any relatives that fit the bill?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do. They live about a hundred and fifty miles north of here; at least they did up until the takeover."

"Okay, but we have another problem," Ian interjected.

"What problem is that?"

"If you take one of our vehicles, they will know exactly where you are going and can investigate the mines any time they want."

"I'll do the same thing Wanda did, the old bait and switch. I'll leave in one of our vehicles and rent a van after I leave."

"Won't that be kind of obvious if you leave your car parked in close proximity to a rental place?"

"The car won't be parked there. If I take Burns with me, he can accompany me to visit my relatives, and then drop me off at the rental place and then head out of the area, away from the mines until I return from the gypsies. Then he can meet me back at the car place and pick me up. I'll just tell the General that I'm not really comfortable with driving, and I'm still nervous about going off on my own. That's why I'm bringing Burns."

"The plan sounds good with one exception."

"What's that?"

"I don't think you should take Burns. He and the Colonel didn't get along, and I'm sure his hostility was related to the General. I think you should take Ice. He was much more pleasant and accommodating to the Colonel's questions. I think they will feel more at ease with Ice accompanying you." Ian turned to Burns. "Burns, can you ask Ice to come in here?"

"Sure thing."

Ice entered the room, and between Ian and myself, we relayed the scenario to him.

"So, what do you think?" I asked Ice. "Road trip?"

"I'm in. I just have one question."

"Fire away."

"Where am I supposed to go after I drop you off? I mean, if questioned, we should have some sort of story, don't you think?"

"Well, everyone knows that new Nate has been under a lot of stress. There is a beautiful camp ground on a lake and waterfalls nearby in the mountains about fifty or so miles north of the town my cousin lives in. We could say that you suggested we take some time to get away and relax for a couple of days. That will give me two days with Nadia to try and satisfy her needs."

Ian raised his eyebrow. "Her needs or yours?"

"Hey, I've been under a lot of stress these last five weeks. I think I deserve a little slap and tickle."

Ian burst out laughing. "I guess you do."

Burns had been standing in the doorway keeping watch and yet listening to the conversation. "Something just dawned on me," he said as he turned in my direction.

"What?"

"Those gypsies were pretty pissed off when they saw the likes of me the time I had to retrieve you."

"Yeah, so?"

"Didn't you say they have a routine body check whenever you first arrive at the mines?"

"Yeah, so I'll take out my contacts before I get there."

"And how do you propose to hide the scare on the back of your neck?"

I reached back and felt the smooth scare that was slightly raised at the nape of my neck. "I don't know."

"I don't think you should go," Burns replied. "That old man will shoot and ask questions later."

"I'll cross my fingers over my neck. That will hide the scar until I can explain the situation."

"I don't like it," Burns reiterated. "If you get killed, the entire military will come down on us, and everything we've worked so hard for will be for naught."

"He has a point," Ian replied. "Maybe we shouldn't risk your life for the sake of a few"

"Klaudia is a good woman, and she has a newborn. Without proper nutrition, that baby could die. Hell, they could all die!" I paused for a moment. "Besides, Nadia would never forgive them if they killed me without allowing me to plead my case."

"Why does that not make me feel any better?"

"Trust me, Burns. I can do this. Besides, if I was coming to get them, why would I come alone? I'd bring an army."

"I understand that," Ian replied, "But will they?"

"I'll be careful, I promise."

"Hey! Why all glum faces. Nate always comes out smelling like a rose!" Ice declared.

"I just don't want him to become fodder for those roses," Burns mumbled.

With that, we left the room and went about our business. I decided I should do some laundry before my trip. I hated washing my mountain clothes with my clothes that I wore at the mines. They required special care due to the grime and smoky smell that always seemed to permeate them during my visits. At least our story of camping would explain the smoky smell to Moon and the other two military souls.

I was once again bunking in the house with Burns, so gathering my laundry didn't take much time. I headed to the root cellar, hoping for some peace and quiet. I was surprised to find Gina propped up on a cot reading a book. She glanced at me for a brief moment and went back to her reading. I wasn't sure what to say, so I proceeded to place my clothes into the washers located closest to the door. After adding the detergent and starting the cycle, I stepped back and took a long look at Gina. The way she was sitting made her legs look like a pretzel, not Indian style because she had one knee pulled up as if she was using it as a shield. She was obviously blocking me. I knew there was no way to break through the anger she felt toward Travels the Frozen Tundra, but I thought maybe I could lessen the hatred she had for him. I mean Travels the Frozen Tundra had the personality of a wet rag, but this was me, Nate the Charmer. I had to show her the compassionate side of the new Nate.

"Watcha reading?"

Gina looked at me with venom in her eyes. She clapped the book shut and quickly scooted off the cot. Getting through to her was not going to be easy.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

She looked as if she was going to say something, but then she snapped her mouth shut and tried to rush past me to the door.

I needed to pull out all the stops. I blocked her exit.

"Get out of my way," she growled.

"Listen, I know you hate me. I get that. But there's a guy in my head who screams at me every time I lay eyes on you. I try to look away, and he shoots me memories of you that I'd really rather not see. While I'm not sorry for being in this body, I am sorry for ruining the chance you and Nate had for a real relationship."

For the first time she looked me in the eyes. "You didn't ruin anything. Please get out of my way." She lowered her eyes again.

I grabbed her chin and tugged gently. She fought not to look at me. "He loves you. I want you to know that."

The tears exploded from her eyes. "Don't you get it, you stupid parasite? Nate is dead! He's dead, and he's never coming back!"

""He's not dead, Gina."

She lowered her shoulder and bulldozed her way out the door.

"He's _not _dead!" I yelled. "_I'm not—_dead." I collapsed to my knees and wept.


End file.
